Freefall to Desire

“I know you don’t want to see me,” Alex said, his voice low. “And trust me, I wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t important. But what I have to say…it needed to be in person.” He paused for a moment, huddling into his leather jacket as a cold breeze swirled. “Can we talk inside?”

Brianne looked beyond him to the late-model, high-end Mercedes parked at her sidewalk. It was black and sparkled beneath the streetlights. She knew it was his—which meant he’d driven here.

“I thought you were in Phoenix,” Brianne said. Word was, Alex had moved there to open up another store in the sporting goods chain he and Carter had started. Life and business had gone on for him—something else that irked Brianne, even if it was irrational to expect anything else.

“I was, but I’m back. Look, it’s pretty cold outside. Can I come in?”

Brianne wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him that it hurt too much to see him, especially today. That he should leave and come back later—or better yet, not at all.

But the fact that he was here spoke volumes. And even though his presence reminded her of what had happened three years ago, it also reminded her of something else. That they’d once been friends.

Maybe Alex was here to make amends with another person who had loved Carter dearly. Wasn’t it time they started talking again? Rationally, she knew that Carter wouldn’t have wanted them upset with each other, as they were that day two years ago.

That thought filling her mind, Brianne stepped backward and held the door open. “All right,” she said softly, her tone guarded. “You can come in.”

Alex bent his head slightly as he entered the house. He was tall—six foot four, a little taller than the height of the doorframe of the prewar house. His body was in the same muscular form Brianne remembered from the past. No surprise there. In addition to their thrill-seeking, both Alex and Carter had been active in a variety of sports—cycling, kickboxing, basketball. They’d liked to spend hours on the weekends playing a variety of sports, keeping their bodies perfectly toned. Their love of sport had led them to open their first sporting goods store in downtown Buffalo, and then a second in Amherst and a third in Niagara Falls. Two men, best friends since childhood, had worked hard to achieve the American dream and had succeeded.

But that dream had been marred with the death of one half of the business.

Brianne looked at Alex then—really stared at him. And noted that his attractive face was marred with a scowl. Again, it struck her that he had probably been carrying around an enormous amount of guilt. She wondered if he had smiled in the last three years.

“We can chat in here,” Brianne said, gesturing to the sitting room near the front door. She led the way into the room, turning on the lights as she did, then took a seat on one of the sofas. Alex folded his tall frame into the lounge chair opposite her.

Just looking at him, Brianne felt regret. How had they lost not only Carter but their friendship? In fact, when Brianne had walked into their sporting goods store, she had noticed Alex first. Noticed his extreme good looks and warm smile. Then out of nowhere, Carter had appeared and offered to help her. She’d been shopping for a bike, and Carter had helped her try a number of them in order to find the one best suited to her. It had been clear to her that Carter was spending more time with her than necessary. He had been flirting, and Brianne—unused to that kind of attention—had been flattered. The rest, as they say, was history. She’d fallen for Carter, but she’d also become friends with Alex. Now she regretted that the death of Carter had also led to the death of their bond.

“I’m glad you came to see me,” she said before he could speak. “I guess it’s about time we…talk again.” Her emotions were all over the place—from anger to regret and now to empathy—but she supposed that was to be expected. Empathy was now morphing into a dull ache of pain. Pain over Carter’s loss, but also pain over the fact that she’d lost Alex’s friendship.

Alex nodded. His expression was still grim, making Brianne wonder if the pain for him was as intense as when Carter had disappeared into that storm.

“I never should have said those things I said to you,” she continued. “I know it wasn’t your fault. It was the grief talking.”

“We both lost someone we cared about, but we shouldn’t have lost our friendship,” Brianne went on when Alex said nothing. “Thank you for being the one with the courage to make the first move.”

When Alex still didn’t speak, it struck Brianne that for a man who’d shown up on her door claiming that they needed to talk, he was being strangely silent.

Instead he sighed, the heavy sound filling the quiet room.

And that’s when she understood that something was seriously wrong. That Alex hadn’t shown up to talk about mending their friendship.

“Oh, dear God in heaven.” Brianne leaned forward, clutching her stomach as it roiled. Though she’d known the news would come one day, she suddenly wasn’t prepared for it. Carter’s remains must have been found. After all this time, his bones had been discovered and tested for DNA and—

“Brianne.” Alex paused. Sighed. Then he forged ahead. “There’s no real way to say this—”

“They found him,” she said, the finality of the words too hard to wrap her mind around. Three years of not knowing, and now—

“He’s not dead.”

Brianne looked up at Alex, the tears that had formed in her eyes blurring his image. Certainly she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Wh—what did you say?”

“All this time, you didn’t believe it. You didn’t believe he was dead.”

Another pause. Brianne continued to stare at Alex, not understanding.

And then he said the words she never thought he would ever utter. “Brianne, I think you were right all along. I think Carter’s alive.”

Chapter 2

If Alex had just up and slapped her, Brianne would have been less surprised.

She gaped at Alex, certain she had not heard him correctly. “What did you say?”

“Unbelievable, right? But I think it’s possible Carter didn’t die three years ago.”

“You think…you think Carter is…” Brianne couldn’t even say it. So long she had wanted to believe it. But she didn’t want to get her hopes up, only to be wrong.

“I know,” Alex said. “After all this time, it sounds crazy. Impossible. But I think…I really think Carter’s alive.”

Seconds of silence passed. Alex stared at her, and she stared back at him in utter bewilderment. “But…but why have you changed your mind?” she finally asked. “I don’t understand. You were certain he was dead. That’s what you told me two years ago.” Brianne was confused and felt like she was in a turbulent sea, being rocked around by waves with nothing to cling to for support.

Alex didn’t speak, and Brianne got the sense that even he wasn’t sure of the answer. But there had to be a reason for the about-face.

“You can’t just come here and tell me that you think Carter is alive.” Only for this to be some misplaced speculation. “Not after three years.”

“I saw something on television,” Alex began slowly.

“Something on television?” Brianne repeated, already doubting that what he was about to say could change her mind about what she had come to accept. “What, a documentary about people going missing the way Carter did? I saw those, too, and at the end of the day—”

“Hear me out,” Alex said. “You’ll understand.”

“Okay.” Obviously the fact that Alex was here meant he thought he had good reason to believe Carter was alive.

“You know Carter and I were into extreme sports.”

Did she ever. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t been able to forgive Alex, figuring that had he not been Carter’s partner in crime, her fiancé might still be alive. “What did you see?”

“A few weeks ago, there was an event called the Fall Cycle Scene—four days of intense motorcycle racing at the Daytona Speedway. It’s exactly the kind of thing Carter would have enjoyed. I was watching on a Sunday afternoon, and I thought…” He glanced away momentarily before meeting her gaze once more. “I’m pretty sure I saw Carter in the crowd.”

Even though she hadn’t wanted to, Brianne had begun to hope. But Alex’s explanation deflated that hope. “A face in the crowd?”

“Not just in the crowd. It was more than a quick clip of some face in the distance. The guy I’m sure was Carter was with one of the racers, a guy named Dean Knight, who is based out of Daytona. When Dean won his race, the cameras were all over him. And that’s when I saw Carter, congratulating Dean on the track. High-fiving him, patting him on the back. The whole nine yards. In fact, it looked to me like Carter was a part of Dean’s team.”

“Which would be easy enough to check out,” Brianne said. “A call to this Dean Knight—”

“That’s the problem. I got in touch with Dean’s people, left a message for him and he called me back. He said he doesn’t know a Carter Smith.”

Brianne frowned. “So you’re wrong.” Why had he bothered to get her hopes up?

“Yeah, I accepted that. For about a week. But I kept thinking about the image I saw. The smile on the guy’s face, the way he moved. Carter and I were best friends for fifteen years. I’d know him anywhere. His hair was different, but I’m ninety percent positive that that was him.”

Carter. Alive. The words Brianne had wanted to hear for so long. But this wasn’t proof. This was…it was hope on Alex’s part. A best friend trying—as she had—to cling to a thread of possibility.

“Alex, this all sounds crazy. It—it can’t be true. A face in the crowd, someone who looked liked Carter…” She shrugged helplessly.

“It’s more than that,” Alex said. “Yes, it sounds crazy, but my gut says it was him.” He paused, stared at Brianne for a long moment. “And I was thinking—hoping—that maybe we can work together to find him.”

Alex saw the way the expression on Brianne’s face changed from stunned to hopeful. It was subtle. She was still confused and overwhelmed—that was also evident in her expression—but there was definitely a glint of hope in her eyes.

And for that he felt a little bad.

Make that a whole lot of bad.

He didn’t want to get her hopes up only to shatter them, but he knew no other way to handle this delicate situation. He had contemplated coming here and telling her everything he suspected, but each time he considered it, he knew he couldn’t. Brianne would probably come to the same conclusion he had and react angrily—which would be understandable—but then she would have wanted nothing more to do with Carter. Having lived without him for three years, she would no doubt close the book on him and move on.

She certainly wouldn’t want to help look for him.

No, Alex certainly couldn’t tell her the truth—at least not the whole truth—and expect her cooperation.

And right now, to get the answers he needed—no, the answers he deserved—he needed her cooperation.

There were times when the ends justified the means, especially when the ends were noble. This was one of those times. Because Carter Smith had stolen something from Alex, something that meant the world to him. Plain and simple, he needed it back.

Alex would be there for Brianne in the aftermath of what would undoubtedly happen, would deal with her wrath and help her through the resulting pain. Because there was no other way to handle this. And it was imperative that Alex keep his eye on the end goal.

If there were another way to do this, he would.

Once Alex had spotted Carter on television, he figured tracking him down would be easy. He had contacted Dean Knight and expected that it would be as simple as that—that Dean would say, yeah, he knew Carter Smith, and then Alex would head to Florida to confront his former friend. Instead, Dean had claimed not to know Carter, leaving Alex at square one.

There were two explanations for that. Either Dean was lying, or Carter had lied to Dean about his identity.

Alex figured it was the latter. Because if Carter was alive, then it meant he had faked his death to begin with. Alex would bet his life on that.

“How, exactly, do you think we can find him?” Brianne asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“By going to Daytona, for one thing. That’s where Dean Knight lives. It’s where I saw Carter on television. It could be where he’s living right now.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not.”

“It’s the only place I can think of to start the search,” Alex said. “We can show Dean his picture, see if he remembers him. Then go from there.”

“And you want me along for this?” Brianne asked.

“I figured…I figured you’d want to be there.”

Brianne nodded. Of course he would expect that. She had hoped for nothing but a reunion with Carter for the past three years. And yet…

The idea that Carter was alive was oddly scary. What kind of state was he in mentally? And how would he and Brianne pick up where they’d left off?

“Are you sure, Alex?”

“That I want you to come with me? Yeah.”

“No. Are you sure that Carter is alive?”

“One hundred per cent?” Alex shrugged. “I can’t say I’m totally certain. All I know is that the guy looked a heck of a lot like Carter. If we all knew Carter to be alive and well, I wouldn’t doubt it was him on TV. Absolutely not. But because he’s been gone for three years, I can’t be totally sure. But my gut…I’ve got to go with it.”

“So what I thought all along is possibly true,” Brianne said, her voice filling with hope. “He got lost on that mountain. Disoriented. Maybe he fell and hit his head and that caused him to lose his memory. Or he experienced some other trauma.”

Brianne slowly rose as she spoke, and the look on her face…it was like a stab in Alex’s heart. Because he knew that what she was imagining—a happy reunion, the continuation of the future she thought had come to an end—wasn’t going to happen.

But until he found Carter, Brianne would have to be in the dark. It was the only way.

“That’s a possibility,” Carter said, noncommittally. Truthfully, he couldn’t rule it out. But in his heart, he didn’t believe it. Seeing Carter’s face that day, that happy, carefree smile—and seeing him at an event both he and Carter had always enjoyed—well, Alex didn’t believe for a second that Carter didn’t know who he was. And if he hadn’t at first but now did, why not return home? But that was not something he was going to share with Brianne. At least not yet.

“It wouldn’t explain how he got across the Canadian border,” Brianne said, talking to herself mostly, “but maybe he hiked the Rockies back into America. Anything’s possible.”

“You’ve got that right,” Alex agreed, a tinge of bitterness in his voice.

But Brianne missed the tone. Facing him, she clasped her hands tightly together. “Alex, I’m shaking.”

Alex swallowed, trying not to show any particular emotion. He wanted nothing more than to get up, pull Brianne into his arms and hold her tight.

His eyes roamed over her, from her trembling hands to her trim physique to her widened eyes. Lord, she was a vision. She was thinner. That had changed. She’d obviously spent a good amount of time working out since he’d last seen her. What hadn’t changed was that she was still as cute as a button.

It was what he’d thought the first moment he’d seen her. She had walked into the store wearing black pants and a tank top that hugged her beautiful curves. Alex had stepped in her direction, instantly intrigued. But then Carter had made a beeline for her, and that had been that. Alex had lost his chance to pursue anything with Brianne.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?” He looked up at her. He hadn’t heard a word she’d said.

“I asked if you really want to do this. Head to Florida?”

He cleared his throat before speaking. “I think it warrants investigation, yes.”

Brianne nodded, then bit down on her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable as she stared at some point ahead of her, probably not really seeing anything, just lost in her thoughts.

She suddenly shifted her gaze to his, as though she had caught him staring. Alex moved his eyes.

“What if you’re wrong?” she asked softly.

Alex looked at her and shrugged. “Don’t you want to know? One way or another? ”

“To tell the truth…I’m not sure. I…I don’t know if I could handle getting my hopes up, only to learn that you saw someone who looked like him.”

“I know what you mean,” Alex said. “But the way things are now, we don’t know—”

“And what if he’s got this whole other life—which he’d have to, right? A life that doesn’t include me?”

“You mean assuming he has amnesia?”

“Yes.” She looked scared suddenly, and something inside Alex’s gut stirred. “If he’s been missing all this time, he must have suffered some type of memory loss. What if he’s got a family?” She swallowed. “I don’t want…I’m not sure I could handle that.”

“Even if he’s got a new family, he’s still got his family back here. Parents who grieved for his loss. Friends. You.” He paused, looked at her pointedly. “He deserves to know about the people he’s left behind.”

Brianne began to pace. “Maybe you’re right. But if it does turn out to be Carter, his parents will always be his parents. I’m just a woman he used to love. He’s probably forgotten all about me.”

Alex stood and walked toward Brianne, stopping only when he was directly in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re more that that,” he said, then took a breath, hoping she didn’t pick up on the double meaning behind his words. All this time he hadn’t seen her, and yet he was still attracted to her.

His best friend’s girl.

Former best friend’s girl.

“Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to give up hope?” he asked. “The one who thought for sure that I was wrong, that Carter was out there alive somewhere?” She nodded, but Alex saw pain in her eyes. “Wouldn’t you feel better knowing he was alive, even if he’s got a new life?”

“I don’t know,” Brianne said softly. “Maybe.”

“Then we work together. We hit the streets in Florida. We find out if Carter is still alive. Once we know for sure, we can decide what to do next.”

Brianne stepped away from Alex and hugged her torso. “You can do it without me.”

“Maybe. But we both knew Carter, and I think it’ll be easier—”

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can.”

She shook her head.

Alex didn’t want to pressure her, but she couldn’t say no. He needed her. “I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

“This is all too much to process right now. I need time. Will you give me that?”

“Of course,” he said. “Absolutely. I’ll give you my number and you call me whenever.”

“I’m not making any promises.”

“That’s fine.” Alex wasn’t about to pressure her, even if he needed her. Brianne would want to know. He felt that in his heart. She would think things over and then call him and tell him she wanted to help him find Carter.

At least he hoped so.

Because she had the key to finding Carter.

“I’ve got a business card in the car. I’ll go get it.”

Brianne nodded.

Alex went to the front door and jogged down the steps. There was a chill in the November air, reminiscent of the day he and Carter had gone into the mountain three years ago. Three years that had changed his life.

Because Carter hadn’t just destroyed him emotionally when he’d disappeared on that mountain. If Alex was right, he had taken the one thing from him more precious than any money.

While he and Carter had been in hiking the Canadian Rockies, someone had ransacked Alex’s home, emptying the safe of not only its cash but of a family heirloom that meant the world to him.

On her deathbed, Alex’s mother had given him a ring that had once belonged to her mother. His mother had told him that since she hadn’t had any daughters, she was passing the antique diamond engagement ring to him. That he should give it to the woman he would ultimately marry.

The memory burned him as he retrieved a business card from his car. At the time, he’d considered it a cruel twist of fate that his home had been robbed at the same time that his friend went missing. Now, he didn’t think it a coincidence at all.

His gut told him it was all a part of Carter’s plan.

Alex went back to Brianne’s front door. She swung the door open before he could.

To his surprise, he saw tears in her eyes.

“Brianne,” he said with alarm. “Are you okay?”

She wiped at her eyes and forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just overwhelmed, is all.”

Guilt slammed into him. Maybe it was unfair to involve her in his plan. She had gone through so much as it was…

“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “You have your card?”

“Yeah,” he replied and passed it to her. “The office number is on there, and my cell. You can reach me anytime.”

Nodding, she accepted the card. “Okay. I’ll call you.”

“I’ll talk to you later, then,” Alex said.

“Mmm hmm.”

Again, he was struck by her loveliness, and her vulnerability. His heart quickened.

Ignoring the feeling, he turned away from her and trotted down the steps.

He hoped it wasn’t a mistake to involve her in this. And yet, he didn’t know of another way.

He had to do what he had to do to get back what was taken from him.

Alex could live without the money that had been stolen from his place. Insurance had replaced it, anyway. But the ring that had meant so much to his mother. That was irreplaceable.

Alex wanted it back. And he intended to get it.

Chapter 3

Brianne went to the living room’s front window and peered outside. Alex’s car was still there, as if he were waiting for something. But moments later, she heard the engine turn over and his sleek and expensive Mercedes drove away from the curb. Only when his car was out of view did she ease back and let her body fall onto the plush sofa.

Carter. Alive. Could it be possible?

Brianne pulled her knees onto the sofa, holding them close to her chest. Her head was spinning. She felt more ambiguous than hopeful, more confused as opposed to certain about what she should do.

Why now? she thought. Why at a point when she had just resolved to let go of any hope that Carter was alive had Alex shown up at her door?

Was this a sign from God? A sign that she should not be giving up on Carter?

Brianne sat for several minutes, holding Alex’s card in her palm. What had happened was so bizarre that she almost couldn’t be sure if she were dreaming.

But she was awake, no doubt about it, which meant that what had just happened had actually happened.

She glanced down at the card in her hand. The name ALEX THORPE was written in big, bold letters. She didn’t know what was more unsettling, Alex’s sudden appearance at her door or what he’d told her.

Carter. Alive. How long she had waited to hear those words… Why wasn’t she jumping for joy?

Brianne got up from the sofa and went to her bedroom. Her best friend, Salina, was in New York pursuing her career as a chef and her new man. Brianne called her cell but got no answer. Again. The last she had heard from Salina was two weeks ago, and she’d said that she was working long hours, was stressed but that otherwise all was good.

“Hey, girl,” Brianne said when the voice mail picked up. “Something major just happened. Call me. I need to talk to someone.”

Unable to reach Salina, Brianne went to the closet, retrieved her suitcase and found the travel documents she’d had for her sister’s wedding at the Gran Bahia Principe hotel in Jamaica. She didn’t like the idea of disturbing Shayna while she was on her honeymoon, but this was an emergency.

She called the hotel in Jamaica. Within minutes, she was connected to her sister’s room.