Lone Star Christmas

She finished her hot chocolate and pushed back her cup.

* * *

Ignoring the suspicious glares, Max stood in the archway and scanned the small game room located between the café and the convenience store on the other side of the building. He hated the feelings Jackie brought out in him. He didn’t want to think about his mother or his father. Especially his father. It wouldn’t change anything. He’d just get angry, and he was tired of living with anger.

Ethan was in a race car simulator. Max didn’t see Tomas or Isaac. “Where are the boys?”

The lanky teen leaned to the right, then pulled to the left. “They said they had to go to the bathroom.”

“You let them go by themselves?” He was not in the mood for this. Pulling in a deep breath, he forced his voice to remain calm. No need to take his frustration out on Ethan.

“They seemed old enough to be potty trained.” Ethan yelled at the screen and jerked left.

Max wasn’t in the mood for the teen’s sarcasm. He spotted the large restroom sign next to the soda counter. “This is a public gas station. You don’t let them go off on their own. I put you in charge of them.”

Ethan slammed his palms against the faux steering wheel as his race car came in last. With a grumble, he finally looked at Max. “Maybe I don’t want to be in charge. That’s your job. You volunteered for babysitting duty. I didn’t.”

Max gritted his teeth. He wanted to point out that Ethan had asked to come along; no one had invited him. But even though his knowledge was limited when it came to kids, he knew that getting into a power struggle with a teenager was an exercise in futility.

Stepping into the public restroom, he knocked on the stall doors. “Tomas! Isaac!”

No answer came back to him. Glancing under the doors, he found the stalls empty. Sheer panic froze him in place for a moment. They had to be here. Horror stories of kids disappearing swamped his brain. That kind of stuff didn’t happen in Clear Water, not here in Smalltown, USA. “Tomas! Isaac!”

They had to be here somewhere. Coming out of the bathroom, he walked briskly over to the convenience store side. The boys would love to play with the souvenirs and toys over there. Maybe they’d wandered that way. “Ethan! They aren’t in here. Get Jackie. I’m going to see if they went into the store.”

Ethan stood, his mouth open. “What do you mean? They have to be there.”

Max took a deep breath to keep himself from yelling. “They’re gone. Tell Jackie.” Without waiting, he rushed over to find a clerk who might have seen the boys.

His mind was racing with all the worst possibilities. The kid organizing chip bags looked all of sixteen. “Did you see two boys? Dark hair. Identical looking. Five and six years old? They were in the restroom.”

“No, but I heard the bell over the door a little bit ago.” He frowned. “Do you need me to call the sheriff?”

“Maybe.” Was he overreacting? No, they were small kids, and they were missing. “Yeah. I’ll go outside and check.”

“Max?” Jackie charged into the store from the café. Ethan was close behind. “What do you need me to do?”

“He’s calling the sheriff. I’m going outside.”

“Okay. We’ll find them.” Her matter-of-fact tone helped him calm down.

“Y’all need help?” Some of the people from the café joined them.

Jackie turned to the small group. “The boys didn’t come back from the restroom.”

Max didn’t wait around to hear the rest of the conversation. Out the front door, he turned to the right. It looked like a drive-through feed store. Bags of feed were stacked on pallets, and bales of hay lined the opposite side.

Behind the hay, he heard familiar giggling. His knees went weak at the beautiful sound.

“There they are.” Ethan’s voice didn’t sound steady.

They were safe. For a moment, all Max wanted to do was sink to the floor and cover his face. That had to have been the worst experience of his life. More terrifying than any bull he’d ever faced.

He moved round the bales. The brothers sat in the middle of a pen, smiling, surrounded by a litter of puppies.

He took what felt like his first breath since going into the restroom. Someone touched his arm. Turning, he found Jackie next to him. She wasn’t wearing a jacket, but her smile was warm. The people who had been in the café crowded into the feed store area.

Her hand slipped down to his. “They’re okay.”

He managed a nod. She left him and joined the group of people at the entrance. “He found them with the puppies. Thanks for offering to help.”

Dub nodded. “Happy that they’re safe. I’ll call dispatch and let them know we don’t need the sheriff.” The small crowd went back to the warm café.

“Great. Now they think I’m the worst guardian, along with all the other things they condemn the Delgados for.”

“Kids slip away. It happens to a lot of good parents. It is terrifying, but they’re safe. That’s all that matters.”

“I’m not their parent.”

“For now, you’re the only parent they have.”

That stopped him cold. He hadn’t thought of it that way. They were his responsibility. He wanted to give them more than his father had given him, but he wasn’t sure he knew how. Rubbing the back of his neck, he turned back to the boys. Ethan had a tight grip on the top of the temporary pen.

He didn’t trust himself to join them yet. Ethan needed to be aware of the consequences of being careless, and Isaac and Tomas had to understand they couldn’t wander off. But if he started talking to them now, he feared he’d start yelling and criticizing. That’s what his father would have done, so he’d start by not doing that. He needed to calm down before they had that conversation.

He took a deep breath, and a gust of cold air seared his lungs.

Who was he kidding? All that stuff about being their parent and being better than his father was a joke. There was no way he could do this. He just wanted to get out of Clear Water. Let his uncle deal with the ranch. Jackie and her buildings were not his problems. They couldn’t be.

Chapter Three

Once her heart returned to a reasonable beat, Jackie kneeled at the edge of the enclosure that held the litter of rambunctious puppies. Next to her, Ethan gripped the top of the wire panel that made a temporary pen. His shoulders rose and fell with each hard breath. It looked like he was breathing fire when his exhalation hit the cold air. The color had left the teen’s face.

“You told me you were going to the restroom!” he started yelling at the twins. “You can’t just leave like that.” His voice cracked. “What were you thinking?” His pitch went higher.

“Ethan.” Max walked up next to him and placed a hand on the center of his back. “We’ll talk about this later.”

The teen’s nostrils flared as he shook his head. “Someone bad could have kidnapped you. The people in the café had to call the police!”

Tomas ducked his head. Tears built in his eyes as he hugged the puppy.

“Stop, Ethan.” Max’s stern voice left no room for argument. “We’ll talk about this later, and we’ll also address your responsibility in this. They’re little kids. You’re older.” He cut a glance at the boys. “We will talk about this.” He looked back at Ethan. “In private.”

The black fluff ball that Tomas held against his chest stopped wriggling and licked the boy’s face. He kept his eyes down.

Isaac looked down at the golden puppy in his lap. “There’s lots of cool stuff here, then we heard the puppies bark,” he mumbled. The usually happy brother was also on the verge of tears. “Momma said she was bringing home a puppy for Christmas.”

Jackie covered her mouth. These babies had lost both parents and had been left with brothers they didn’t even know. Swinging her leg over the panel, she joined the boys in the middle of the litter.

She sat between them. Maybe she was overstepping, but she pulled them close. Two other puppies joined them, jumping over each other, tails wagging.

With a soft squeeze, she pressed a kiss to the side of each of the boys’ heads. “We were worried about you. You must let your brothers know where you’re at all the time. They love you, and were scared when they couldn’t find you.”

Isaac looked up at Ethan and Max. “We’re sorry. Look.” He held his pup up to them. “This one has the same color of hair as Momma, and that one is the same as Daddy. They were waiting for us.”

Tomas wiped his face across his sleeve and smiled at the puppy that licked him. “They need homes. Can we take them? Maybe they’re the dogs Momma was going to give us.”

Max blew out a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, boys, but it’ll be up to Vanessa. You’re going to be living with her.”

Silent tears fell to the concrete, leaving prints in the dust. Tomas buried his face in the soft fur. Jackie looked at Max. He had his hands stuffed in his back pockets. The muscles in his jaw popped. There had to be something they could do. Ethan joined them, sitting cross-legged, and a few of the puppies scrambled into his lap.

“Hey, folks. Jim McClain.” The feed store owner joined them. He wiped his hands with a bandanna before offering one in greeting to Max. “If you want them, those puppies will be ready to go home with you by the end of the week. The two smaller ones are the only homeless ones. They’re my sister’s dogs. The mother is a super sweet Lab. Good family dog.” He grinned. “Not sure about the father. I think he might be the neighbor’s Australian shepherd. They’re real smart. Easy to train. Already house broke. Looks like a perfect match to me.”

“We’re just here temporarily.” Max frowned.

Jim looked down. “Jackie! Hey, girl, what are you doing? Your dad need any hay or feed? Maybe a couple of dogs?” He laughed.

Jim towered over Max and was twice his size. He had played college ball and was now back in town running the family business. He was always trying to get her to buy something or go on a date with him. She had been able to avoid both by avoiding the feed store altogether, until now.

She smiled. “No thanks, Jim. This is Tomas and Isaac Delgado and their brothers, Ethan and Max.”

Eyes narrowed, Jim crossed his massive arms. “Thought you looked familiar. Your uncle had all his feed and hay shipped in from Kerrville. You here to clear out all those thistles? They’re ruining all our grass.”

She stood. “Jim, he’s here with his brothers because their father died in an accident. He’s looking to clean up the land and get it back into shape.”

Max glared at her. “I don’t need to explain myself or my brothers to anyone.”

Isaac stood, holding his puppy close. “Mr. McClain, we’d take really good care of these two. We think they want to stay together, so they won’t be scared when they leave their mom.”

Jim softened and smiled at the five-year-old. “I believe they like you, too. I’ll talk to my sister, and you talk with your brother. It’s a big responsibility.” He went down on his haunches so that he was eye to eye with both boys. “They’d count on you to take care of them.”

The brothers now stood next to each other, each hugging a puppy like they’d never let go. Tomas kissed his black pup on its nose. “We’re going to call this one Baby. That’s what Momma called Daddy.”

Isaac giggled as the golden pup licked his ear. “This one is going to be Queenie because Daddy called Momma his queen. She’s blonde like Momma. What do you think?”

Jim patted the little dog. “Those sound like fine names.” He stood and turned to Max. “Looks like you got a couple of dogs. I can put all the supplies you’ll need on a ranch account for you.” He turned to the boys. “On that second aisle over there is a bunch of collars and other stuff puppies need. Pick out what you want, and I’ll have it all ready for you when you pick them up the Saturday after Thanksgiving.” He smirked at Max. “I trust you’ll pay the balance then.”

Rushing over the fencing, the twins charged into Max. “Please. We love these puppies. Vanessa’ll love them, too.”

He looked at Jackie, a sadness in his eyes. She thought about pointing out to the boys that Max hadn’t actually agreed to them keeping the dogs. With a sigh, he shook his head.

Ethan scowled. “You’re going to let them do whatever they want, aren’t you?”

Max dropped to meet the boys eye to eye. “I’m so sorry, boys, but we can’t take these puppies. If Vanessa says no, then they will have nowhere to go. That’s not fair to them.” He reached out to wipe a tear off Isaac’s cheek. “It’s not fair to you, either. I can’t tell you yes, then turn around and take them away from you.”

Tomas squeezed his puppy. “We could all stay with you.”

The sadness in Max’s eyes caused her to fight back her own tears. There had to be some way she could help. Maybe she could offer to take the puppies.

Max picked up one of the puppies. “Tomas, I’ll be going back to the rodeo soon. We have the next couple of weeks together, then you’ll be going with Vanessa. We’ll visit and talk as much as you want, but you can’t live with me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Both boys nodded.

He looked at Jim. “Maybe we could visit while we’re still in town?”

“Not a problem. The puppies always need a bit of attention.” Jim held his hand out again and waited for Max to take it. “Welcome back to Clear Water, Delgado. Let me know what you need, and I can have it delivered. If you need help clearing out the thistles, I know where you can hire some local boys.” He pulled a card out of his shirt pocket. “Call me for whatever you need.”

“Thanks.” Max didn’t look all that thankful. “Come on, boys. Tell the dogs bye. We need to get our food and head to the ranch. I don’t need you getting sick from being out in the cold.” He turned to her as he pulled off his jacket. “Here, put this on. You can’t get sick, either. Don’t need more reasons for people to hate me.”

“I come from tough stock.” She pulled the comfortable denim around her shoulders anyway and tried not to inhale his scent too deeply. It filled her with comfort. Not good. “But thank you.”

* * *

He watched as she gently helped the boys put the puppies back with the litter. Caring for the boys, and giving them what they needed, seemed to come naturally for her.

Why is it so hard for me? It would be easier to face down an angry bull than tell these boys no.

A few more tears and they said their goodbyes. Going back through the convenience store to the café, they gathered their food and got everyone buckled in to her car.

Not a word was spoken as they drove down Main Street. Early signs of Christmas had already appeared in some of the shop windows. The holidays were just around the corner. It had pretty much been just another day in his life.

Isaac slurped his drink. “When can we visit the puppies again?”

Jackie made eye contact through the rearview mirror, then glanced at Max.

Ethan shook his head. “Are we going to talk about what they did?” He leaned forward and glared at the boys. “You took off without telling me where you were going. You caused a lot of trouble.”

Jackie stopped at the only light in town. She looked at Max as if she expected him to do something. He was tired, and he didn’t know how to fix any of this.

“Ethan, when I sent you with the boys, I expected you to watch them. They’re only five and six and in a strange place. Maybe I need to take your phone, so you’ll remember your responsibilities.”

Horror etched itself on the teen’s face. “You can’t do that! You don’t pay the bill. My mom does.”

“If you want to return to your mom, that wouldn’t be a problem. I can hire a driver to take you to the airport, and you can go back to Chicago.”

Crossing his arms, Ethan stared out the window. “So, I lose my phone because they ran off. They don’t even have phones, so what’s going to happen to them? I told them to come right back, and they didn’t listen to me.”

Isaac twisted around. “No, you didn’t say anything. You were playing a game.”

“You didn’t check on them. That was your job.” He looked at the tiny versions of himself. “Guys, you can’t ever disappear like that again. If you had gotten hurt or lost, we wouldn’t have known where to find you.”

“Like Momma and Daddy on the boat? They didn’t tell anyone, and no one knew they were lost. Could we have died like them?”

Ethan leaned over his seat from the back. “Yes! That’s why you can’t go off by yourselves.”

Tomas looked like he was about to start crying again.

“Ethan!” Saying this sharper and angrier than he had meant, Max closed his eyes for a minute and counted before addressing the teen again. “Scaring them is not the way to go.”

“Well, they scared me! And now you want to take away my phone.” He threw himself back. “This isn’t fair. I don’t want to go back to Chicago.” He twisted his mouth and glared out the window.

Oh, man, it looks like he is about to cry. “You don’t want to go home with your mother?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No. But it’s going to be Thanksgiving. I thought you might want to be with your family. Don’t you have stepbrothers?” He still wasn’t too sure why Ethan had asked to come with them.

“Yes. I’d rather be here without my phone than being forced to hang out with them. I’d sleep in the barn if I have to. They’re not nice, and my stepfather thinks...everything they do is funny.”

Jackie looked up. “What about your mother?”

He shrugged and looked out the window. “She’s busy.”

Max closed his eyes. And scrambled some ideas around in his brain. He could figure this out. The reason he had taken the boys and why he’d let Ethan join them was that he remembered the loneliness after his mother’s death. Like the world had gone on and forgotten her and him.

With her gone, he didn’t exist anymore. Then he forgot her. He didn’t want that for his brothers.

It sounded as if Ethan’s mother wasn’t any better than their father. He didn’t have any warm memories of her; it didn’t sound like she was any better with her own son. “Okay, here’s the deal. Extra chores for everyone, and Ethan’s in charge. I’ll make up a list, and each day for the next week you’ll make sure everything gets done before bedtime. Got it?”

Ethan looked at him. “I get to stay and keep my phone?”

“Yes, but you’re going to have limited use of the phone. It’s going to be hard work.”

“That’s okay. It’s not like I have anything else to do.”

He wanted to give them more than chores and work. “I also need each of you to make a list of your favorite things to do that don’t include electronics.”

The younger brothers started talking over each other about swimming, food fights and playing fetch. Which they pointed out would require a dog.

Jackie pulled up to the elaborate iron gate that marked the entrance to the Delgado Ranch. When Max had first arrived with the boys, he’d found the electric rollers jammed. It had taken all four of them to push both sides back. Now the rusted curves and cattle cutouts sat lopsided in the tall weeds. He should have turned back then and there.

He needed to call Vanessa about the dogs. In the meantime, he was going to find ways for them to have fun. Glancing at the woman driving, he thought back to that summer so long ago. He wanted to see that smile again. When had she become so severe?

Behind him, Isaac and Tomas had fallen asleep. Something else he needed to do. Make sleeping arrangements. They couldn’t stay in the house tonight. If it were just him, he’d sleep in his truck. He’d done it several times. He glanced behind him at his three brothers. But for now, it wasn’t just him.

How had this become his life? He leaned his head back and shut his eyes. He could do this. It was temporary.

Jackie pulled up behind Sammi’s truck at the Delgado ranch house. “The boys fell asleep. I have a few blankets in the back of the car. If you want to get Tomas, I’ll grab Isaac.”

Max nodded before he got out of the SUV. “I think it’s gotten colder.” They leaned in at the same time and unbuckled the boys. She avoided looking at Max. They were too close, and parts of her heart were stirring. Not acceptable. She had forced him out of her heart years ago; she couldn’t allow him back in.

She turned to Ethan. “Grab those blankets behind the seat there.”

Just like the family she used to fantasize about, they made their way up the front walkway carrying the sleeping boys into the house. Of course, in her daydreams the furniture wasn’t covered in dust and neglect and her heart in guilt.

For years, it had been Max she saw in those dreams. It took persistence and hard work to get him out of her head. Unfortunately, he had grown up even better looking than her imagination, but he still wasn’t the right one for her.

Her feelings had to be buried the moment her father informed her who he was. He lost his mother because of her. Even if he could still like her, she didn’t deserve his love.

If he ever found out the accident was her fault, he would hate her. That might be better. Now that he was back, those long-buried dreams had found their way to the surface.

Ethan opened the door. Inside, they settled the boys on the sofas and covered them with the clean afghans and quilts. She said a soft prayer for the little guys and their big brothers. Looking up, she found Max staring at her and quickly turned away.

She needed God’s guidance in all of this. It felt as if she was walking on dangerous ground with hidden trip wires ready to blow everything up.

In the washroom, they found the ladder from the crawl space pulled down. “Sammi? Are you up there?”

After a few thumps and some other noises, the youngest Bergmann sister peeked over the edge of the trapdoor. “Yep. It’s a mess up here. You got a whole colony of squirrels that need to be relocated, and they’ve been chewing on the wiring.”

She disappeared.

Max sighed. “This is all I need. Squatter squirrels and a house that has to have all the wiring redone.”

Sammi’s boot appeared on the top of the ladder. “It’s not the whole house, but I do suggest you get a licensed electrician to check it out.” She hopped off the last step and turned to face them. “Hi, I’m Sammi Bergmann.” She held out her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Ethan had come up behind Max. “Really? You know we’re Delgados, right?” Bitterness laced his words.

Sammi chuckled. “That’s okay. My last name might be Bergmann but everyone around here, including my family, refers to my mother as—” she lifted her hand to make air quotes “—‘that other woman.’ Or ‘the mistake.’”

Jackie gasped. “No one blames you or loves you any less because of what your mother did to Daddy. She left you, too.”

“Right. I know that. I’m just saying I don’t blame people for things that happened in the past or what other people did. Unfortunately, for the most part small towns don’t follow that train of thought. I think it’s from the lack of real entertainment.” She turned back to Max and Ethan with a smile. “How long are y’all in town?”

“Until Christmas. Or sooner. Depends on when the boys’ aunt can pick them up, and how long it takes to get the ranch ready for the market.”

Her eyes went wide. “You’re selling this place? Hasn’t it been in your family like, forever?”

“Yes. But my uncle wants the ranch gone. He and my father argued all the time. Now that my father’s dead, there’s nothing to stop my uncle Rigo from cleaning house and getting rid of any properties not contributing to the family coffers.”

“Sorry to hear about your father. So close to the holidays, too.”

“Thanks.”

Jackie leaned on the edge of the old washer. “You’re a Delgado. Don’t you have as much say as your uncle? You know, donating the buildings would be a great Christmas gift to the town. I just don’t understand why your uncle is so set against retaining Clear Water’s history.”

Ethan snorted. “Our uncle hated our dad.” He looked at Max. “Can we go see the buildings? There have to be some creepy stories in an old abandoned town. I’m going to put that on my list of fun stuff to do. Maybe someone would want to open a dude ranch in a ghost town.”