Protected by the Major

Yet only her memories of Hal sustained her when her life seemed too terrible to bear.

* * *

Standing up with Adam in church, as his best man, was a pleasure and helped to dispel the dark clouds that had hung over Hal since the murder of his cousin Mark. He, Mark, Paul and Adam had come through the war with Napoleon’s France together, only for his eldest cousin Mark to be shot down in cold blood by a rogue at his own home. Between them, Adam, Paul and Hallam had caught and punished Mark’s murderer, but it had left a shadow on their lives.

Adam’s wedding was the time for them to put the sadness of the recent past behind them. Lord Ravenscar had wanted it to happen, because he said it was what Mark would have wanted.

‘My son would not wish us to mourn him for month after month, even if we do so in our hearts,’ he’d told Adam when he offered to postpone the wedding until a year had passed. ‘You must marry, Adam. Miss Jenny Hastings is a beautiful young lady and I shall be glad if you will bring her to stay with me sometimes.’

Adam had promised he would when they returned from their honeymoon. After a stay in Scotland, they were to return to Ravenscar for a time before taking a long journey to France and then on to Italy, where Paul had gone in an effort to forget the pain and grief his brother’s death had caused him. Hallam suspected that there was more to Paul’s extreme distress...a little matter of being in love with Lucy Dawlish, the girl who had been expected to marry Mark Ravenscar.

Women could be the very devil, Hallam thought, his thoughts drifting away from the ceremony after he’d done his part and supplied the rings. He watched his cousin and Jenny approach the high altar for the private blessing they would share with the vicar before going off to sign their names. His mouth hardened, as he thought of the woman that he’d been so much in love with some four years previously. Maddie had married her count, and he’d seen how well she’d settled into her new life at Devenish’s ball. How beautiful she’d looked that evening, pale and lovely like a marble statue. The young vibrant girl he had known was nowhere to be seen.

The thought caught at his throat, restricting his breathing and causing him pain somewhere in the region of his heart. What a fool he was to care what Maddie might or might not be doing! Hallam had done his best to forget her in the arms of a mistress, but after the first flush of anger had passed, he had parted company from the very obliging married lady. He believed she was now enjoying a similar arrangement with another officer. Her husband had his heirs and was apparently content to allow his wife her pleasures providing she did not interfere with his; he’d married her for the fortune she brought him.

Hallam’s mouth curled at the notion of such an arrangement, though he knew that several of his friends had married either for money or land and were seemingly content in similar marriages. It would not do for Hallam. He would not have taken up with the obliging Lady Meadows had she not made it clear she was interested in an arrangement. In truth, it had brought him only physical relief, for his heart belonged to one woman—a woman he could never have.

What had Madeline done to him that he could not be interested in any other woman? Bitterness swept through him, because he wanted neither a marriage of convenience nor the caresses of a mistress. Even in the lady’s bed, he’d known a sick longing for the woman he could never have.

His frown increased as he watched Adam and Jenny walk arm in arm from the church, the happy smiles on their faces telling of their pleasure in each other. Why could he not find a woman to love so completely that she swept the memory of Madeline from his mind? Miss Carstairs would make someone a delightful wife, but not him. He was a man haunted by the past, unable to forget the torment that had begun when Madeline broke his heart.

Could a man ever put the past behind him so completely that his heart was no longer shadowed by an old love? For him it seemed impossible. He gave himself a mental shake.

He must forget his own problems. Hallam had duties as Adam’s groomsman and he pushed the worrying thoughts away, smiling as he looked about him at the guests. He must make certain that everyone had a carriage to convey them to the house, where the reception was being held.

As they left church, Adam and Jenny were showered with rose petals and rice, the guests laughing and cheering as the happy couple ran for their carriage. Hallam stood outside the church, greeting people and overseeing the carriages as they lined up to collect their passengers. Suddenly, his breath caught as he saw a woman in a pale-blue silk gown. She wore a lace fichu at her throat and carried a fine, lacy wool stole over her arms, a long ringlet of fair hair resting on one shoulder.

Obviously the wife of a rich man, her clothes and jewels of the finest money could buy, Maddie looked beautiful but cold. A proud beauty, heartless and carved of ice. Hallam’s heart felt as if someone had thrust a dagger into it.

She had noticed him. He saw her green eyes gleam suddenly and for one moment she seemed to come to life, the colour washing into her cheeks, but in the next she had turned to the man next to her and they moved away to their carriage. He watched as she was assisted inside the splendid equipage, but she did not turn her head to glance at him, though he knew that she had seen him.

She had deliberately drawn her husband away so that she did not need to acknowledge him. Hallam felt the knife twist inside him. Had she become indifferent to him? He’d thought not when they met at the ball, but now he was unsure. She had deliberately avoided speaking to him at the supper party. He was the fool for carrying a torch—a memory that was sacred to him was less than nothing to her. She probably found it amusing.

Recalling himself to the task of making sure the guests were all on their way to the house, Hallam finally settled into the last carriage with some of the other ushers. He had by this time steeled himself for the inevitable meeting with Madeline. She would be at the reception and he would find a way of speaking to her. He wanted to know that she was well and happy and then he would forget her.

Yes, he truly would, he vowed. If Madeline told him that she was content in her life, he would make up his mind to find a good-humoured lady who would be happy with a home and children—perhaps a widow who had memories of her own and would not expect love. If he could put the past behind him, then he would be content with a comfortable arrangement—perhaps even the lady he’d enjoyed a relationship with in Spain, though he believed her to have another lover now.

* * *

Hallam was here! Madeline had felt such a rush of emotion as she saw him that she had known she could not—dare not—meet him in her husband’s company. Lethbridge had demanded to know the name of the lover he imagined she had—and if she betrayed a sign of her feelings for Hallam Ravenscar, he would immediately believe that it was he.

Oh, how she wished that it were true. Madeline would give much to be in Hallam’s arms, to be kissed and caressed with tenderness. She recalled the sweet meetings beneath the apple tree that summer when she’d first fallen in love with the handsome young man. He had been home on a visit to his uncle and swept her up in a whirlwind of romance, vowing that he would return as soon as he could to ask her father for her hand in marriage. She’d believed that everything would be wonderful when he had leave from his regiment and that she would spend her life travelling with him wherever he was sent—but then his father had lost so much money gambling, as had her own. By the time he’d been given leave again, everything had changed.

No, she must not think of all she had lost. She must control her feelings and be careful to show nothing if they were forced to speak with Hallam at the reception.

* * *

By the time they arrived at the house and joined the line waiting to greet the bride and groom, Madeline was much calmer. She was able to bestow a warm smile on the bride and groom and wish them happiness and was in turn thanked for the beautiful gifts they had received. As Lethbridge had neglected to tell her what he’d considered fitting for the daughter of his old friend, she had no idea what those gifts were, but murmured something appropriate.

Moving away from the happy couple, Madeline was offered a glass of champagne, which she accepted and sipped delicately. It was very good and she could see that a wonderful buffet was awaiting the guests, with all kinds of delicious foods. She had little appetite, but would make an effort to eat something later.

The guests were mingling as the queue gradually wound to an end, and Madeline’s smile felt frozen on her lips as she saw Hallam enter the hall. Now people were beginning to approach the buffet and select their preferences.

‘Go ahead and join your friends, Madeline,’ Lethbridge said. ‘I wish to speak with someone on a matter of business.’

He always had another reason for attending any social event. Madeline moved away; she was relieved to be dismissed from her duty. There were a few people she knew well socially, but no one she would call a particular friend. However, she had met Lucy Dawlish once or twice during a stay at Bath and went to stand beside her, glancing at the loaded table.

‘How nice to see you,’ Lucy said and smiled at her. ‘Jenny looks beautiful, does she not?’

‘Yes, lovely,’ Madeline said. ‘I believe you are particular friends?’

‘Yes, we are,’ Lucy said. ‘Jenny has been exceptionally good to me and I shall miss her, though Mama says we shall travel abroad next month.’

‘How pleasant to spend the winter away in warmer climes,’ Madeline said, a little sigh leaving her. ‘Such an array of wonderful food—how does one choose?’

‘I think the crab tartlets look delicious,’ Lucy said, ‘and I always love a syllabub, do you not, Lady Lethbridge?’

‘Oh please, call me Madeline. Yes, I am partial to a syllabub but I suppose one ought to eat something savoury first. Perhaps I will try a tartlet, though the prawn, not the crab, I think...’

‘May I help you to choose, Lady Lethbridge?’ A man’s voice made Madeline’s heart jerk and she turned her head sharply to look at Hallam, as Lucy Dawlish moved further down the table.

‘Thank you, but I think I prefer to help myself.’ She moved away from Hallam, but he followed her, looking puzzled. Madeline felt compelled to explain. ‘Please...my husband watches everything I do. You must not pay me any attention.’

‘How ridiculous,’ Hallam said, frowning. ‘What harm can there be in a few words exchanged at a wedding?’

‘Please, leave me,’ Madeline said. ‘I beg you, do not continue with this...’

She moved away, putting tasty morsels on her plate without seeing what she was choosing. Hallam did not follow her and she found a place at a table with several other ladies, who were laughing and eating, clearly enjoying themselves. Madeline bit into a tart, but found it difficult to swallow the soft flaky pastry, which at any other time would have been delightful. What little appetite she’d had had quite vanished.

She sat silently, listening to the conversation flow around her, and sipping her wine now and then when the toasts were made, but her throat was tight with misery and her smile felt frozen. When Hallam called everyone to attention and began his speech as the groom’s best man, she could no longer bear it and excused herself, saying that she needed a little air, then got up and walked from the room.

She was aware that her progress was remarked and knew it was rude of her to leave during Hallam’s speech, but could not bear to stay another moment, for if she did not escape she would weep. She left the house through a side door and went out into the garden. She needed to be alone for a time, because she was so desperately unhappy. Seeing Hallam, speaking to him, had brought home her misery and she had rebuffed him more out of fear of giving into her tears than for fear of her husband. After all, what more could he do to her?

Walking swiftly, Madeline sought out a secret arbour amongst the roses and sat down, staring unseeingly at the beauty all around her. Her eyes filled with tears, which began to spill over as she realised how very much she had lost. She ought to have been braver, to have stood up to her father’s blandishments, and refused to marry the count. Yet if she had chosen happiness for herself, her family must have faced ruin. It was all too late. Regrets would not help her now.

She bowed her head, covering her face with her hands. How Hallam must hate her now—and she loved him still.

* * *

Hallam was feeling angry. He had meant to offer Madeline the courtesy any gentleman would offer a lady and she had rebuffed him in the coldest manner—and then she had left the room while he was making his speech. Had she meant to be deliberately rude? Yet she’d seemed agitated, even frightened. What had she said about her husband watching her every move?

Did Lethbridge mistreat his wife? Anger curled inside Hallam at the thought and he balled his fists at his sides. There was little he could do for the moment, because he did not wish to cause a scandal at his cousin’s wedding, but if he knew Maddie was being bullied or actually harmed he would kill Lethbridge with his bare hands!

Hearing the count laugh at something a rather grand lady was saying to him, Hallam knew that he could not bear to be in the same room with him. He must go out for a breath of air or he might explode. His hands itched to land a facer on the vile fellow and he turned away, walking swiftly from the room and out into the gardens.

He had been wandering for some minutes, his mind seething with anger and bitterness as he tried to come to terms with the tormented feelings inside him, when he heard the sound of a woman crying. Following the sound, he saw her sitting alone in a secluded rose arbour and his heart caught with pain.

‘Maddie,’ he said and walked swiftly to her side. ‘Please, you must tell me what is wrong. Does that devil hurt you? I swear I’ll kill him if he has harmed you.’

Madeline had risen to her feet at his approach. She looked about her anxiously, as if fearing that someone might see them. Her gloved hands held before her, she moved them restlessly, clearly in distress.

‘Hal, you should not have come,’ she said on a sob. ‘I know you mean to help me, but if he should see you he will think the worst. I...I cannot explain, but he imagines I have a lover and has demanded the man’s name. If he thought...’ Hallam reached out for her restless hands, catching them in his. ‘Oh, you must not...’ Her voice broke and a tear slid down her pale cheek.

‘Tell me, does he beat you?’

‘No, of course not,’ she said quickly, but in her agitation her stole had slipped and he saw the dark bruises on her upper arms. He exclaimed wrathfully and touched one gently with his finger, his mouth hardening as she flinched. ‘He did not beat me. He...pinches me when he is...frustrated.’

‘The evil brute!’ Hallam bent his head to kiss the bruise. ‘My sweet Maddie. I shall call him out and kill him.’

‘You must not,’ she said, her eyes wide with fear. ‘They would arrest you—and you might be tried for murder, even if he did not kill you first.’

‘Then I will force him to call me out,’ Hallam said. ‘Or you may run away with me, Maddie. You cannot wish to stay with such a brute?’

‘I never wanted to wed him,’ she confessed. ‘He holds my father’s notes and if I tried to leave him he would ruin my family. I cannot bring shame on my mother and sister. My father would bear it, but my family...where would they live? How would my sister ever find a suitor?’

‘It is unfair that you should sacrifice everything for them,’ Hallam said, staring at her in despair. ‘So you had no choice—you sent me away for their sakes? You do love me, Maddie. I know you do.’

‘No, you must not think it. You must forget me,’ she whispered, throat catching with emotion. ‘I am desperately unhappy, Hal, but I am caught fast in a trap and I cannot escape.’

He moved closer, looking down at her for a moment before he bent his head to kiss her lips. They parted beneath his and for a moment she allowed his kiss, but then, as his hand slid into the hair at her nape, she froze and moved away, turning her back to him as her shoulders shook.

‘I cannot...please, do not waste your life loving me. I can never be the wife you deserve.’ A sob broke from her then, ‘I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me, Hal. I was forced to wed him and I cannot leave him no matter how I feel...’

‘I shall find a way to set you free of him somehow,’ Hallam said. He was reaching out to touch her cheek, but she flinched away when they heard someone call her name and the colour left her face.

‘I must go,’ she said and tears stood in her eyes. ‘Please forget me, forget what I just said. You cannot help me. Lethbridge would ruin my family and kill you. Honour demands that I keep the vows I made when I married. I beg you, forget me.’

Hallam tried to hold her, but she slipped away and walked from the rose arbour into the open garden. He heard the sound of voices and knew that she was speaking to her husband. The count’s voice was harsh and it took all Hallam’s will-power to stop himself from rushing out to confront him, but Maddie had begged him not to and he could not make a scene here.

He must seek Lethbridge out another day and see what could be done to help Maddie. If she would go with him, he would take her away to France or Italy. He had little fortune and she had none, but he would find a way of supporting them both somehow. His estate might be sold and perhaps he could become a soldier of fortune, offering his sword to any that would pay.

Yet she’d spoken of honour and her family’s ruin. It was foolish of her to think of honour when her husband was so cruel to her, but her family’s ruin was another matter. He could do little for them and he knew that she would never walk away from her unhappy marriage if it meant their downfall.

The only way was to force a quarrel on Lethbridge. If the count would call him out it would be an affair of honour, and though he might be brought before the magistrate and even imprisoned for a time, he would not hang for it. He thought that he would bear even that if necessary to free Maddie from what must be a living hell for her.

If the count would not call him out, he must be the one to do it and would probably have to flee to France until the storm blew over. His mind busy with his thoughts of revenge on the evil count, Hallam waited until he was sure he would not be seen leaving the rose arbour before returning to the reception. He did not wish Maddie to be punished for meeting him, for if her husband had seen them together he must have thought the worst.

Taking great care not to follow too close on the count and Madeline, he did not notice the servant lingering in the shrubbery, watching.

His mind with Madeline, Hallam could only pray that Lethbridge would not harm her again. Somehow, he must find a way to set her free. He would not think of his own future or the happiness he hoped to gain one day, but only of Maddie.

As a widow she would be safe and perhaps one day she would allow him to take care of her.

* * *

‘Who were you talking to?’ Lethbridge demanded, as he took his wife by the arm, pushing her in the direction of the courtyard where his coach was awaiting them. ‘I told you what I would do to you if you saw your lover again—and I shall thrash him.’

‘There is no one else,’ Maddie said, lifting her head defiantly. ‘You are foolish to be jealous, sir. I do not have a lover.’

‘Lying bitch,’ he muttered as he thrust her towards the coach. ‘Get inside. I’ll teach you to behave when I get you home.’

‘May I not say farewell to my friends?’

‘You chose to leave the reception and I am ready to leave,’ he said looking at her coldly. ‘I have made your goodbyes. I was forced to say you were feeling unwell.’

‘You did not lie, sir. It was because I had a terrible headache that I left the reception. I swear to you on my mama’s life that I did not go to meet anyone.’

Lethbridge glared at her. ‘You swear that you did not meet a lover, madam?’

‘I swear it,’ she said, but could not look at him.

He grabbed her arm, swinging her back to face him. ‘Swear it on your mother’s life or I shall thrash you when we get home.’

Madeline felt a surge of anger. Lifting her head, she looked him in the eyes. ‘I swear in on my own life, my mother’s—and anyone else’s you care to name. I did not meet my lover for I have no lover.’

Lethbridge stared at her for a moment, then inclined his head. ‘Very well, I shall accept your word—but if I discover you have lied to me you will be very sorry, madam.’

Madeline turned her face from him, the tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to weep or beg. He was a brute and she hated him. He had made her life intolerable and she would almost rather be dead than married to him. Yet if she took her own life, he would seek revenge from her family.

Her throat was tight with tears, for she could discover no way of escape. All she could do was to try to block out her unhappiness...and perhaps to allow her thoughts to drift back to the time when Hallam had made love to her so sweetly beneath the apple tree.

Yet even that memory was ruined for when Hallam kissed her, she’d known that something inside her had flinched away. How could it be that she could not welcome Hallam’s kisses when they had always been so sweet to her? Had her husband’s cruelty made it impossible for her to accept even the touch of the man she loved?

If that were the case, there was no help for her.

Chapter Three

Hallam looked at the invitation tucked into the gilt-framed mirror in the front parlour of his lodgings. He’d taken a small house in town for a time, though he was not certain what had made him decide to come up—but a chance remark from one of his friends had told him that Lethbridge and Madeline were in London for a few weeks. The invitation was to a prestigious ball and he was almost certain that Madeline and her husband would be there. Somehow, he must find a way to talk to her. Since speaking to her in the garden of Lord Ravenscar’s home, he had not been able to rest for thinking of her unhappiness.

Try as he might, Hallam had been unable to discover a solution to their problem. If it were not for her father’s debts to Lethbridge, he would have carried Maddie off with him, but he knew that she would not snatch at happiness for herself while condemning her family to ruin. Had Hallam the money, he would have paid her father’s debts, but he could not pay those his own father had left, without disposing of most of his estate. It seemed that the count had them in a cleft stick and there was no escape—but there must be! Lethbridge must have a chink in his armour. Hallam would just have to discover what it was and plan his strategy accordingly. If there were no other way, he must kill him. Yet he would prefer to get his hands on the notes Sir Matthew Morris had lost to the count and then force him to let Maddie go.

Hallam had never taken life in cold blood, and it would be his last resort, but if it was the only way...

Lethbridge was a gambler. It was possible that Hallam might contrive to win the notes from him. But would he part with them? Perhaps only if he were entirely ruined.

Somehow Hallam did not think it likely the count would gamble away his whole fortune just to please him. Yet gambling was the way to get close to him, he was sure. If Lethbridge should be at the ball, he would most likely spend much of his time in the card room. Hallam decided that he would attend. If he were fortunate, he would be able to speak to Maddie or perhaps, make an arrangement to meet in private...and if he could find the count at the tables he would find a way of making his acquaintance.