Boyfriend Shopping: Shopping for My Boyfriend / My Only Wish / All I Want for Christmas Is You

“Another chance? Did I miss something? Are you guys officially dating?” I closed my eyes and waited for his answer to punch me in the gut like a cold fist.

“I don’t know what we are. Right now she seems too needy to me,” he said.

I exhaled. There is still hope, I thought. “Well. Again. That’s the chick you decided to hang around,” I said, hoping my comment carried enough power to break the spell that Bernita cast so that he could see her the way I did. My comment didn’t work because he avoided acknowledging it and changed the subject.

“So what are you doing this weekend?” he asked.

“Just chilling out. What about you?” I asked, feeling a bit disappointed.

“About the same. Do you want to hang out this weekend? Maybe we could go bowling,” he suggested.

I smiled so hard my cheeks ached but I still gave him crap because I knew he had a good sense of humor. “I don’t know. Will your stalker girlfriend let you?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said.

“That’s what you say, but I’m sure she thinks of you as her boyfriend.”

“So can you hang out or not?” He jumped right to the point.

“Well, if you’re not afraid that Bernita might catch you, I guess I can hang out with my friend,” I said jokingly.

“Ha, very funny, Anna. Have your mom drop you off at the bowling alley around 8:00 p.m. Saturday.”

“Wait. You’re not inviting Bernita, are you?” I asked, fearing that his judgment was still clouded.

“No. It will be just you and me. I need a break from her. I want to hang out with my girl,” he said. I liked the sound of that. I only wished he had said “girlfriend.” But at least I knew that I still had a fighting chance.

“Okay. I’ll see you then,” I said.

five

I arrived at the bowling alley ahead of Jeremy. When I went inside I discovered that it was cosmic bowling night, which meant there were dancing lights, hot new music, glow-in-the-dark lanes, pins and balls. It was so cool to step inside and suddenly notice how everything glowed. I sat down in a common area and sent Jeremy a text.

Where u @?

I will b there in a minute.

Ok.

A short time later Jeremy arrived and joined me.

“Are you ready to have some fun?” he asked as he gave me a hug.

“Yeah.” I smiled. We rented red-and-blue bowling shoes and got our lane assignment. We each searched for the perfect bowling ball before beginning the game.

“Do you want some food?” Jeremy asked.

“I’m not hungry right now. Maybe we can get a sandwich later,” I said.

“You’re really cool to hang with, Anna,” he said with the cutest smile, and his eyes seemed to make promises that his mouth refused to admit.

“You’re just now figuring that out?” I laughed over my words and playfully punched his shoulder.

“Ha-ha,” he answered with sarcasm. As we bowled, I noticed that he kept checking his cell phone and it was more annoying than walking into a spiderweb.

“Are you going to pay attention to how I am kicking your butt or are you going to fumble with your phone all night?” I asked.

“You’re my friend, right?” he asked.

“Of course I am,” I said, hoping my agitation didn’t come through.

“Check this out. Bernita sent me a text message and asked where I was. I didn’t feel like any drama, so I told her that I was at home. She just sent me a text message saying that I’m lying and sent me my exact location. She’s been doing that for the past few days and I can’t figure out how she’s doing it.”

“Let me think for a moment,” I said. Sitting down on a nearby chair, I pondered how Bernita was pulling off her trick. “Did you give her your cell phone recently or let her keep it for a while?” I asked.

“No. Wait. She sold me her iPhone 4S because she noticed the screen on my iPhone 3 was cracked. She used some of the money I’d given to her to upgrade to the iPhone 5.”

“Let me see your phone,” I said and held out my hand.

“Here,” he said, handing it to me.

“Does this thing have cellular service?”

“Yeah, I had it switched on when she gave it to me,” he said.

“She’s tracking you somehow,” I told him as I searched through his apps.

“Now, that’s creepy.”

“I told you that Bernita was bad news. Has she given you anything else that she could be using to track you with?” I asked.

“No,” he assured me.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Seeing if she downloaded something to your phone,” I said.

“I’ve already checked. I don’t have any new apps.”

“Oh, really. Then what’s this?” I showed him the tracking app that she had downloaded and hidden within one of the folders of another application.

“What? Are you kidding me?” he said as I gave him back his phone.

“Bernita is stalking you.”

“What the hell!” Jeremy said angrily as his thumb rapidly tapped on the screen of the phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Deleting this app,” he said. I wanted to tell him that he needed to also delete her, but that wasn’t my place to say.

“Can we bowl now?” I asked, wanting to move on and enjoy our evening together.

“Yes,” he answered. At that moment his phone rang.

“Dang, boy! Turn that thing off.” My voice was intense enough to spark a fire.

“It’s Bernita,” he said and picked up the phone. He told her that he knew about the tracking app that she’d downloaded to his phone and how he wasn’t cool with what she’d done. He listened as she gave some lame explanation and then finally told her not to call him anymore.

Yes, I thought and tried to contain the urge to do a happy dance where I stood. It made me smile when I heard him remove her from his life. Now there would be room for me to get extra close and work on getting him to see me as the girl of his dreams.

six

Lauren and I decided to go to the boy’s basketball game at school the following Friday. I didn’t care so much about the game as I did about watching Jeremy play. We had just sat down on the bleachers with popcorn and bottled water. Our school was playing our rival team, which meant that the die-hard basketball fans at my school came out in strong numbers to show their support.

My school’s team had just come out of the locker room to warm up. The pings of multiple basketballs being dribbled wafted through the air. I spotted Jeremy with a red, white and blue basketball. He dribbled like a professional NBA player and made handling the basketball look effortless. He dribbled toward the basket, did a spin move and then a smooth finger-roll layup.

“He is so cute,” I said to Lauren.

“And from what I can tell, he looks like a pretty good ball player, too.”

“He loves the game. He’s been playing it since he was a little boy.” I had recalled a conversation we had once a few years back about how much he loved the sport.

“Look. There goes Allison with her camera.” Lauren directed my attention to the left edge of the bleachers.

“What do you think about her doing all of the videotaping she does?” I asked.

“I think what she’s doing is cool,” Lauren said, shrugging her shoulders.

“She looks just like her mom. Have you ever watched her mom on TV?”

“A few times. I’ve seen her mom interview professional athletes and celebrities. I think that is really cool,” Lauren said.

“I imagine that it must be exciting to have a mom who has those types of connections,” I admitted and then turned my attention back to the basketball floor. The cheerleaders from our rival school came out and did a few cheers for those who had come in support of their student athletes. Once they’d finished, the Thornwood High cheerleading squad stepped out on the floor, wearing our colors of blue and gold. They fired up the crowd with cheers and acrobatics. There were constant screams of support from the bleachers for the cheerleaders. Once they were done, the starting lineups of the visiting team and my school were announced. When I heard Jeremy’s name called, I shouted at the top of my voice.

“Dang, girl! Do you think you screamed his name loud enough?” Lauren had placed her hands over her ears.

“Maybe,” I said, hearing how my voice had gone gravelly.

“Yeah, you definitely did,” she disagreed with me.

“Let’s go, Jeremy!” I shouted out again just before the referee blew his whistle and started the game. On the very first play Jeremy stole the ball, pushed it up the court and did a windmill dunk that drove the crowd into a frenzy.

“Yeah! Jeremy!” I rose to my feet and shouted at the top of my voice.

My school ended up winning the game. Jeremy scored twenty-three of the sixty-three points that our team put up. After the game I said goodbye to Lauren and waited for Jeremy. When he came out of the locker room, I gave him a big hug and told him how awesome I thought he was.

“Thanks for coming to watch me play,” he said. He looped his arms through the straps of his backpack and moved toward the exit.

“Where’s Lauren?” he asked.

“Her mom came just before the game ended. As soon as it was over they left.”

“Do you have a ride?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

“Why didn’t you get a ride with Lauren?”

“Because I wanted to see you. Duh.” I punched his shoulder as punishment for not realizing why I had waited on him.

Jeremy smiled at me. “I’ll walk you home.” We exited the school and walked in the direction of my house. The night air was cool and I could see white smoke puffing up as my warm breath hit the cold air.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“A little,” I admitted. Jeremy then reached out and pulled me closer to him. I liked being in his arms. I felt safe and cared for.

“Do you know what you want for Christmas?” he asked. I wanted to say I’d love for you to be my boyfriend, but I didn’t.

“No. Do you?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t think of anything I really want this year,” he said.

“Are you sure you have everything you want?” I said and hoped he’d think about his romantic life or lack of it.

“Yeah. I’m sure,” he said. I was disappointed with his answer.

“I see,” I said drily.

“Are you going to the holiday dance?” he asked. His question caught me off guard, and I immediately perked up.

“I’m just waiting for the right guy to ask me,” I said and bumped my hip against his. He stumbled.

“What was that for?” he asked, smiling at me.

“Because I felt like it,” I said sweetly.

“What do you think about us going together?” he asked. I pulled away from him and stopped walking. I positioned myself directly in front of him so that I could see his face and look into his deep brown eyes. I studied every feature of his face. His brown skin, his lips and his expression. I wanted to make sure that I would remember every detail of the moment.

“Really?” I asked cautiously and hoped that the tone of my voice didn’t come across as a rejection.

“Never mind. It was a dumb idea.” He believed my comment was unfavorable.

“No. I don’t mean it like that. I would really like to go with you.” I hurried up and told him what I was trying to say so that he would not misunderstand me.

“Cool,” he said and looked at me. He looked into my eyes deeper than he ever had in the past. Then slowly I watched a smile form on his face just for me. I loved his smile because the joy extended past his lips and into his eyes. And his dimples only encourage me to kiss his cheeks.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah,” he said. He didn’t take his eyes off me. The way he looked at me made me feel special. I tilted my head slightly and took his hand into my own.

“Are we going as friends or as a couple?” I asked and prayed that I didn’t frighten him off with my question.

“Kiss her, fool!” I heard one of his teammates shout out as he ran past and out into the night. Jeremy was about to make a wisecrack to his friend, but it was too late.

“Where was I?” Jeremy paused. “Oh, yeah. You want to be my girl?”

“Seriously?” I asked, wanting to be extra sure.

“Yes. I’m asking you to be my girl, Anna.” When he said those words my heart went into a sprint. I stepped into his embrace and hugged him tightly.

“I am perfect for you. I’m going to be the best girlfriend that I can be to you,” I said as he lifted my chin up and placed his hands on my cheeks. He kissed me tenderly, and for a moment time stood still. I wasn’t cold. There was not a sound. There was only the stillness of the moment, which I wanted to make last forever.

“Y’all need to take the lovefest indoors,” said another teammate who zoomed by and teased Jeremy.

“Man, mind your own business,” Jeremy yelled.

“Well, it certainly took you long enough to ask me to be your girl,” I said as I stepped back for a moment to take in the fact that I had finally caught the tall, handsome and popular guy who I’d been crazy about since grade school.

“I was afraid you might run away again,” he said, bringing up our first kiss that we’d shared so many years ago. I can’t believe he’s still carrying that awkward moment around as if it happened yesterday, I thought.

“I’m not running,” I assured him. The last thing I wanted was for him to be available again.

“Good.”

“There is one thing that I have to tell you that I will not put up with,” I said as I placed my hand in his and continued on.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t like to share. If I’m your girl, I had better be your only girl. So if you think you’re going to be a playboy and try to date both me and Bernita, I’m telling you now, I’m not cool with that.” I stood firm on that and let him know that cheating would be a deal breaker. I also wanted to make sure that he and Bernita were never a true couple.

“You don’t have to worry about Bernita. There was never anything going on between us. I thought she was good people, but learned that she’s a drama queen, and I don’t have time for that.”

“Good,” I said, resting my head against his shoulder as he walked me home.

seven

When I got in the house I rushed to my room, shut the door and crash-landed on my bed. I picked up my cell phone and called Lauren.

“Oh, my God, Lauren! You will not believe what happened tonight.” The words rushed out of my mouth faster than I could form them.

“Calm down, Anna. You sound like you’re hyperventilating,” Lauren said.

“Okay,” I said and took several deep breaths before I spoke again. “Jeremy asked me to the holiday dance.” I squealed like he had asked me to marry him. I imagined Lauren had pulled the phone away from her ear to prevent her eardrum from bursting.

“That was sudden. How did it happen?” Lauren asked once I calmed myself down.

“It was so romantic. He walked me home and asked me if I was going to the dance. I gave him a big hint by saying that I was waiting for the right guy to ask me. He picked up on it and asked me,” I said, feeling as weightless as a snowflake.

“That’s wonderful,” Lauren said.

“Wait, there is more. Girl, I asked if we would be going as friends or if we would be going as a couple.”

“Oh, my God! What did he say?” Lauren screeched. I could tell that she was sitting on the edge of her seat in anticipation, waiting for my response.

“We stopped walking, looked at each other, and then he asked me to be his girl,” I squealed.

“Are you for real?” she asked.

“Yes. And it was such a romantic moment. He kissed me and it was perfect,” I said.

“So you guys are official now?” Lauren asked.

“Yes.”

“Cool. You should update your relationship status,” Lauren suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” I agreed with her.

“So what are you going to wear to the holiday dance? It’s only two weeks away,” Lauren said.

“I have no idea, but I’ll figure something out,” I said confidently. Before Lauren could say another word, I was notified that I had an incoming call. “Hey, Lauren, let me call you back. I have Jeremy on the other line.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later,” she said and hung up. I clicked over and answered Jeremy’s call.

“Hey,” he greeted me.

“Hey to you, too,” I said, shaking hair out of my eyes and feeling butterflies prancing in my tummy.

“My older brother and his girlfriend are going ice-skating downtown at Millennium Park tomorrow evening. He told me that if I had a date he’d let me tag along with him. So, I was wondering if you’d like to go.”

“Um. I’d have to ask my parents, but I’m sure they would be okay with it,” I said, peeling back the bedcovers.

“Good. We can pick you up around six o’clock,” Jeremy said.

“Wait. I don’t have any ice skates and I don’t know how to do it. Do you know how to ice-skate?” I asked nervously while I took off my earrings and placed them in the jewelry box on my dresser.

“Yes. I know how to ice-skate. My brother taught me how. He used to play hockey and his girlfriend is a figure skater.”

“Wait. How old is your brother now? I vaguely remember him going away to college when we were in eighth grade.” I opened up my drawer and removed a pair of purple pajamas.

“He just turned twenty-one and he’s a senior at the University of Colorado,” Jeremy explained.

“So, are you going to teach me how to skate?” I asked.

“I’m going to try.”

“You can’t let me fall. I hate falling on my butt,” I said. I exited my bedroom and walked down the hall to the bathroom so that I could take a shower. I was thankful that no one was in there. I turned on the shower to give the water time to warm up and drew the shower curtain closed so that water wouldn’t spill on the floor. Realizing that I had left my house slippers in my bedroom, I walked back to retrieve them.

“I’ll hold on to you.”

“You have to promise to hold me close,” I said, recalling the scent of his cologne from the night of the school holiday concert.

“I will,” he agreed. We talked for a little while longer before saying good-night. Once I ended my call with him, I went back to the bathroom and took a shower and prepared for bed. When I was done I came back to my room, rested on my back and smiled. I looked forward to cherishing every moment with him.

The following evening we arrived at the ice rink. It was located on Michigan Avenue in the heart of downtown Chicago. The trees along the sidewalk near the oval ice rink were decorated with white Christmas lights. Skaters were leisurely gliding around the rink. There were couples holding hands and parents teaching toddlers how to keep their balance. Holiday music was being played and I suddenly felt the spirit of Christmas fill my heart as I sang the words to “This Christmas.” We went inside the ice-skating facility and rented skates and then sat down to put them on. Jeremy’s brother and his girlfriend were eager to get out on the ice and raced ahead of us.

“Are you ready to do this?” Jeremy asked.

“Yes,” I said as I stood up and nearly fell flat on my butt.

“Take your time,” Jeremy coached me as I stepped onto the ice and held on to the rail. I felt as if I was going to twist my ankle because I had trouble balancing.

“I will because I have no idea what I’m doing,” I said, struggling to stay upright.

“Look at me.” Jeremy positioned himself in front of me. “You have to trust me, okay?”

“In this situation, that is easier said than done, but okay,” I said and continued to clutch the railing.

“Stand still and get your balance,” Jeremy said. I looked down at my feet and tried to do as he said.

“Don’t look at your feet. Look at me.” He tilted my chin up so that I would focus on him. I looked into Jeremy’s eyes and read how they promised to take care of me and not allow me to fall.

“Breathe and relax,” he said. I followed his instructions and focused on him. I briefly looked at the more advanced skaters as they whooshed by.

“They make this look so easy,” I mumbled.

“It is once you get the hang of it.” Jeremy reached for my free hand, the one that wasn’t clawing the rail. “Now give me your other hand.”

“I’m not ready, Jeremy. I’m going to fall,” I said, filled with fear and dread.

“No, you’re not. I have you,” he assured me. I reluctantly gave him my other hand.

“Oh, my God,” I said as I wobbled.

“Breathe,” he reminded me again.

“Okay,” I said as I inhaled and exhaled a few times.

“Good. See. You’re standing,” he said. I laughed cautiously as I squeezed his hands. I was holding on to him so tightly that I thought for sure I’d crush his fingers into a fine powder.

“Okay. Just stand like that,” Jeremy said, and the next thing I knew we were moving, albeit slowly, as a feather floating on air.

“Oh, my God!” I wanted to scream but instead I closed my eyes. Jeremy seemed to love the idea that I was totally green at this and got a kick out of having to teach me.

“Open your eyes or you’ll miss everything.” His voice sounded sweet but I was done listening to him for the moment.

“I’m afraid,” I admitted, feeling a bit foolish.

“Come on. Open them up,” he said as I could feel my legs wobbling and threatening to buckle. I slowly opened my eyes and realized that Jeremy was towing me along the edge of the rink at a very measured and unhurried pace. I mustered up the courage to gaze at the urban beauty surrounding us. The tall buildings and bright city lights were picturesque. I could hear Nat King Cole singing “The Christmas Song” in the background.

“You’re doing great,” Jeremy said. His encouraging tone brought back the memory of my dad cheering me on when I was first learning how to ride my bike without the training wheels.

“No, I’m not. You’re doing all of the work,” I said, hoping I would not inadvertently trip over my feet.

“You’re doing great because you have the courage to trust me,” he said.

“Uh-huh,” I said as I continued to look around.

“Anna,” Jeremy whispered.

“Yeah,” I answered, feeling panicky.

“Look at me,” he said. I turned my attention back to him. Jeremy leaned into me and kissed me tenderly. Time always seemed to slow down just a little when he kissed me. That was a feeling that I hoped would never disappear.

“What are you doing to me?” I whispered softly.

“Trying to be a good boyfriend,” he said as we slowed down.

“You are the perfect boyfriend for me,” I said as he reached out and drew me closer and hugged me.

* * *

The following weekend Lauren and I hitched a ride to the Orland Square Mall with her mom and her aunt. We were both excited about spending the day shopping for dresses and accessories for the holiday dance. When we arrived at the mall it was difficult to find a parking space because, judging by the amount of cars already there, the mall was packed with holiday shoppers. After circling around for fifteen minutes, a spot opened up. We all exited the vehicle and headed toward the mall entrance. Once inside, we merged with a slow but steady movement of shoppers. Grandmothers had taken over the sitting areas and were placed in charge of keeping an eye on the shopping bags while the rest of their families continued on. Young mothers were pushing wailing babies who were strapped tightly in their strollers or dealing with random temper tantrums of toddlers who couldn’t get a toy that they wanted.

Lauren’s mother told us to check in often and keep in touch through texting and phone calls. Lauren gave her mom and aunt a hug and I did the same. Afterward, Lauren and I maneuvered our way through the throngs of holiday shoppers. Soon we came across a gathering of people standing outside of a music store. They were listening to a girl about our age singing “Jingle Bell Rock” on a karaoke machine. She had on brown snow boots, blue jeans and a red holiday sweater. She was very energetic and got the crowd to clap and sing along with her. Before we realized it, Lauren and I decided to be silly by spontaneously dancing to the music. This triggered a wave of excitement and caused little kids and their parents to get in on the fun. That was one of the things I loved about Lauren: she was a blast to hang out with. We eventually laughed and giggled ourselves onward toward one of the department stores. We entered through the cosmetics area, where there were people sitting in chairs and allowing sales associates to apply makeup.