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‘Without them …?’

‘They do amazing work,’ Nina said. ‘It’s run by very passionate, caring people.’

‘Unlike me.’ Jack grinned. He could hear the barbs behind her words.

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You think it, though.’

Nina shrugged again.

‘I can’t afford to get involved, Nina.’

She didn’t buy it.

‘How can you not?’ She blinked at him. ‘You’re a brilliant doctor. I’ve actually seen you in action the rare times you’re hands on. You and I both know …’ She halted. There were some things that should perhaps not be said.

‘Go on,’ Jack invited.

‘I don’t think I should.’

‘Off the record?’ Jack smiled. ‘And, no, you can’t screw me here.’

He made her blush, he made her smile, he gave her permission to be honest.

‘I’m not criticising the other doctor, but I do think that had it been you who examined Tommy …’ She took a slug of her wine before continuing. ‘Well, things might have been picked up a little sooner.’

Jack would never criticise a colleague and certainly not to a woman he didn’t really know—idle gossip was a dangerous thing—but he absolutely agreed with Nina. He’d thought exactly the same thing.

Not only that, he’d had a rather long and difficult conversation with the locum registrar just that morning, not that he could share that with Nina.

‘I just think …’ She really should say no more, except his silence invited her to go on. Sometimes she was a little too honest and even as the words tumbled out, she wished she could take them back. ‘Instead of sucking up to benefactors, you’d be better off with the patients.’ She knew she had gone too far, knew from the flicker of darkness across his eyes that she’d overstepped the mark, and she recanted a little. ‘Certainly the patients would be better off …’

She was nothing like Jack was used to.

Nothing like anyone he had ever been out with before.

He could not think of one person who had ever spoken to him like this, yet over and over she had.

‘Do you ever got involved?’ Nina asked a little later, when she was scraping her dessert bowl. ‘I mean, do you ever get close?’

‘Are we still talking about work?’ Jack grinned.

‘Of course.’ Nina gave a tight smile. She already knew the answer in regard to his personal life. Jack saw the smile, matched it and then upped it, just looked at her and smiled till her face was pink and her toes were curling in her boots.

‘No,’ he said. ‘And no at work as well.’ Then he stopped smiling. ‘I’m not a machine, Nina. I get a bit upset sometimes, I guess, and some things get to me more than others but, no, I work better by staying back …’

He thought he might get a brief lecture, thought the frown was a precursor to criticism, but then, perhaps properly for the first time that night, her eyes met his. ‘You’d be really good at the pro bono centre.’

It was Jack frowning now. ‘I already do a lot …’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not asking you to volunteer. I’m just saying that someone like you would be really good.’ She gave him a smile when he had expected a rebuff. ‘I am sorry for what I said last night—I guess cool heads are needed at times.’

Except his head wasn’t so cool now.

And, no, he never got involved on a personal level either. Jack didn’t do dating and long conversations, and certainly no explorations into someone else’s past, except he found himself wanting to know about a younger Nina, found himself asking how she’d fared when her parents had died.

‘It was rough for a while, but I got there.’

‘How?’

‘I had friends.’ She gave a tight shrug. ‘Couch-surfed for a while …’

‘Couch-surfed?’

‘Slept on friends’ sofas.’ He watched her face burn and then blue eyes met his. ‘I nearly ended up on the streets.’

Jack could perhaps see why she was so angry at times, why she struggled so much in her efforts to keep families together—given the impact it had had on her life when she’d lost hers. ‘So how come—?’

‘I’m not going there, Jack,’ she interrupted.

‘Sure,’ Jack said. Usually it was him pulling back, usually it was him closing off and refusing to discuss things.

And so they chatted about other stuff when he really wanted to know more about Nina. He simply didn’t know how to play her, because when he glanced at his phone and saw how late it was, had it been anyone else, they’d have been back at his apartment and safely in bed.

Safely in bed, because that was what Jack knew and did best. He wasn’t used to that awkward moment when they climbed into his car, because usually both parties knew exactly where they were headed.

‘No, thanks,’ she said to his oh-so-casual offer of a nightcap at his place. ‘It’s already late and I’m the duty worker tomorrow night.’

So not only was Jack not used to going to back to her place, neither was he familiar with a smile at the front door and no invitation to come inside.

‘Thanks so much for tonight,’ Nina said. ‘It was nice to clear the air.’

‘Oh, we haven’t cleared the air yet,’ he said, and he gave her the kiss that he should have last night.

Not a gentle kiss, a very thorough kiss, a kiss that meant business.

She should have resisted, Nina thought as she kissed him back. She should have at least made some token protest, but there was something very consuming about being kissed by Jack, something that would make you a liar if you attempted to deny the effect, because like the man himself it was a top-notch kiss, and, like the man himself, very soon it went too far.

His mouth had left hers and had moved to her neck, his hands pulling her hips into him, and he was just as turned on as she was. He made sure Nina could feel it and then his voice was low in her ear. ‘Am I going to be asked inside?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Can you be persuaded?’

He kissed her again and, no, she couldn’t be persuaded, because she trusted her heart to no one and certainly she’d be a fool to trust it to a man like Jack.

She pulled away. ‘I’d better go.’

She was playing with fire here, Nina knew it. So she stepped back a little and went into her bag for her key.

‘Nina—’

‘Thanks so much for dinner.’

And she gave him a smile, stepped into the safety of her flat and closed the door on him. On them.

No matter how she might want to, Nina was so not going there.

These next few weeks were the most important of her life and she was not going into them with a head messed up by Jack Carter. And he would mess it up.

His reputation preceded him.

And she had her family to think of.

CHAPTER SEVEN

OVER THE FOLLOWING days Nina avoided Jack. She didn’t return his calls and when he stopped her in the corridor one lunchtime and asked if she wanted to go out that night, she gave a vague reason as to why she couldn’t, was polite and smiled and then quickly moved on.

Unused to being rebuffed, Jack didn’t like it one bit.

Still, even if he had to face her in a few moments, right now there were more important things on his mind. Jack, Alex and the oncologist Terence were going over the planned course of treatment before speaking with Mike, and on one thing Alex remained resolute.

‘I want it made clear to the father that there are no guarantees. I don’t want him to be given false hope. Really, we’re just trying to buy Tommy some more time here, because even if the chemo does shrink it, I don’t know that surgery will be an option. It would be incredibly risky—most surgeons wouldn’t touch it.’

‘But you take on patients that others wouldn’t,’ Jack pointed out. ‘That’s why Angel’s needs you.’

They stopped the discussion as there was a knock on the door, but Jack knew full well what was getting to Alex. Still, he wasn’t going to discuss it in front of Terence, and now the oncology nurse had arrived to sit in on the discussion with Mike.

‘The father’s outside with the case worker,’ Gina said.

‘Okay.’ Jack nodded. ‘Tell them to come in.’

Nina didn’t blush when she saw him, Jack noted, and, yes, her coolness towards him was grating, her dismissal when he called or spoke to her seriously irked him—perhaps because he wasn’t in the least used to it. Still, right now the focus of the meeting was Tommy and his father and preparing them for the difficult months ahead.

‘It’s basically a marathon that we’re asking you to run,’ Terence explained. ‘It’s an aggressive tumour and we’re hoping to reduce it, but it’s not going to be easy …’

‘We’re up for it,’ Mike insisted.

‘We need you fully on board,’ Terence reiterated a little while later, because Mike just kept nodding at what ever was said. ‘Any bruising or bleeding, a raised temperature, even a cold and Tommy is to be seen urgently.’

‘Of course.’ Mike sounded annoyed and it was then that Jack cut in.

‘You need to listen to this carefully.’ Jack was firm. ‘Last week you were hiding Tommy’s injuries from the hospital.’

‘I didn’t know what was happening,’ Mike admitted. ‘I thought you were out to take him away from me.’

‘Well, we’re not,’ Jack said. ‘Tommy needs you now more than ever, but we are all going to have to start trusting each other and being honest each with each other, and I’m telling you straight up that I will not accept any outbursts with my staff like the one I witnessed last week, no matter how emotional things get.’

‘There won’t be any more outbursts,’ Mike said, and he looked at Nina. ‘I’ve apologised to Nina, and I apologise again.’

‘Mike’s going to do the men’s anger and emotion course that the pro bono centre runs,’ Nina said. ‘Aside from what happened in Emergency, I think it will be very helpful for Mike to have that resource in the months ahead.’

And on the meeting went. Terence had to get back to the ward but Mike had more questions.

‘But if the chemo works, surgery might get rid of it.’

‘It’s a possible option,’ Alex said carefully, ‘but the lesion is in an exceptionally difficult location.’

‘Have you done surgery like this before?’

‘I’ve done similar,’ Alex said, and Jack stepped in.

‘Each case is unique.’ He was as calm as always, Nina noted, and, she conceded, sometimes it was a good thing, because the emotion in the room was palpable. ‘Each case is continually assessed. We’ll know more once we see how Tommy responds to the chemotherapy.’

‘But—’

‘We’re going to do our best for your son,’ Jack said, ‘but it would be wrong of us to say that this is a straightforward case—it’s incredibly complicated. However, you do have the best team and the best resources available to your son. That much I can guarantee you.’

Mike nodded, stood when Alex did and shook his hand.

‘Right.’ Nina stood too once Alex had left. ‘I’ll take you up to the oncology ward and show you around.’

‘I can do that,’ Gina said. ‘I’m going there now and I want to go over some of the side effects of the medication with dad.’ She smiled at Mike. ‘It will be good for Tommy if you’re already familiar with the place when we bring him over.’

Which left Nina alone with Jack.

‘You’ve been avoiding me.’

‘I haven’t,’ Nina lied. ‘I’ve just been busy.’

‘Well, after work tonight …’

‘I’m working at the pro bono centre,’ Nina said quickly.

‘If you’d let me finish,’ Jack said, ‘I was going to ask if I could speak with you after work about the pro bono centre—I was hoping to find out some more about it.’

Liar, Nina thought, but she was in no position to refuse him. Someone with Jack’s skills would be an amazing coup for the pro bono centre, but she didn’t like being manipulated and certainly she wasn’t going to go through another dinner with him, or another kiss goodnight, because she knew full well what might happen. So she smiled sweetly back at him, played along with his game, but on her terms.

‘Come and watch tonight,’ Nina said. ‘I’m running a clinic—it might give you a feel for the place.’

‘Great!’ Jack grinned through gritted teeth, because he’d been hoping to discuss things over a nice bottle of champagne. ‘I’ll pick you up—’

‘I’ll meet you there,’ Nina broke in. ‘My clinic starts at seven.’

‘See you there then!’ Jack said. ‘What time does it finish?’

‘About nine, nine-thirty.’

His smile only left his face when she was out of the office. A night at some pro bono centre was something he so did not need, but it would be worth it, Jack decided.

He’d have her in bed by ten.

She hadn’t changed, Jack noted, because she had on the same purple stockings and a jumper that she’d been wearing earlier. He stood outside the pro bono centre and as she walked towards him he realised that her entire work wardrobe consisted of a black skirt, a grey skirt, a grey pinafore and then stockings and jumpers of various shades.

He wanted to take her shopping.

He wanted to spoil her, which was a first for Jack.

Oh, he was a generous date and lover. He had both a boutique florist and jeweller on speed dial and had tabs at the smartest bars and restaurant, but somehow with Nina he knew that wouldn’t impress her.

And he wanted to.

‘You’re probably going to be bored,’ Nina warned. ‘I really deal mainly with paperwork, helping people with social security forms and housing and benefits and things.’

Jack had done a lot of work for charity, but had never actually worked for one. He really had no idea what to expect, a sort of massive soup kitchen perhaps, but he was surprised at the modern offices and the air of organisation.

‘There’s a doctors’ clinic on tonight as well,’ Nina explained. ‘They’re held alternate nights.’

‘Well, while I’m here …’ Jack said, more than happy to pitch in, but Nina shook her head.

‘Sorry. You have to formally apply, your references and registration need to be verified, insurance …’ She looked at him. ‘It’s not a back-street organisation, it’s a non-profit organisation with some salaried staff and an awful lot of volunteers.’ She gave him a smile. ‘You can sit in with me if you like.’ She saw his eyebrows arch. ‘Though I’ll have to ask each client if they mind you being present.’

It was like being a medical student again and Jack felt a surge of irritation. Every minute of his day was accounted for, and now, when he could really help, he was forced to take a back seat instead.

Literally.

He sat in an office as client after client came in.

Nina would explain to each of them that Jack was a senior paediatrician and there to observe, and that he was, hopefully, considering joining the centre. Most smiled and thanked him.

For sitting there.

Some asked that he wait outside.

Nancy gave him a very suspicious look but agreed that he could stay. She was an exhausted-looking lady with a nasty scar over one eye and a nose that had been broken and not reset.

‘Where are the little ones?’ Nina asked.

‘Steven’s home and watching them,’ Nancy said. ‘He’s doing good now, much more sensible.’

‘How was court?’ Nina asked.

‘I’m here,’ Nancy said. ‘No conviction recorded.’

‘That’s great,’ Nina encouraged.

‘I’m so grateful. I don’t know what I was thinking back then.’

‘Four children to feed maybe?’ Nina said.

‘Nancy left a violent household with her children,’ Nina explained. ‘They were on the streets for a while and Nancy got arrested for shoplifting. It was then that she was referred to us and we arranged emergency shelter. Nancy has found employment since then, but a conviction would have threatened that. She was represented by one of the centre’s lawyers …’ And Jack listened and heard how in the year since she’d left home Nancy really had turned her life around. She was out of emergency housing now and in rental accommodation and her eldest son, Steven, was finally attending school and taking it seriously. Nina was going through some welfare forms with her now that her circumstances had changed. ‘Things are looking a lot better.’

‘They are.’ Nancy nodded.

‘Now …’ As the appointment concluded Nina smiled. ‘Do you remember I spoke to you about Dr Cavel?’

‘The cosmetic surgeon?’

Jack’s ears really did pick up. If they were talking about Louis Cavel, he was renowned, so renowned that he had done some rather impressive work on Jack’s own mother.

‘We had a meeting a few weeks ago and I mentioned you to him, as I said I would. He had a look at your photos and he really thinks he can help.’ Jack watched as Nancy started to cry and Nina went from her chair and put her arms around the woman. ‘He’s really looking forward to meeting with you.’

‘The truth?’ Nancy checked.

‘Absolutely,’ Nina said.

‘I’m so ashamed of my face,’ Nancy sobbed. ‘I feel people looking at my scars all the time and every time I look in the mirror I remember what he did.’

‘Dr Cavel gets that. He wants to help you move on and really put this behind you,’ Nina said. ‘We’re all so proud of the effort you’ve made this past year.’

‘This is the sweet reward.’

‘I believe so.’ Nina said. ‘I’ve heard that his work is second to none. Now …’ Nina stood and went through the file and handed Nancy a business card ‘… he is holding a clinic here on Thursday. It’s strictly by appointment, the wait for him is huge, but he does want to see you, so I’ve scheduled one. Can you get here on Thursday?’

‘Oh, I’ll be here.’ Despite her tears a huge smile split Nancy’s face. ‘I wouldn’t miss it. I never thought I’d be getting my face fixed.’

‘I can’t wait to see you when you do.’

As Nancy left, Nina turned at Jack’s voice.

‘We are talking about the Louis Cavel?’

‘He donates fifteen hours a month,’ Nina said. ‘And the difference he makes to lives is amazing. Nancy is already a changed woman, but just wait till she’s got rid of those scars, she’ll be unstoppable.’ She smiled at Jack. ‘Louis loves the work he does here—he says it grounds him after dealing with rich socialites who have nothing more to worry about than new crows’ feet appearing …’

‘He’s my mother’s cosmetic surgeon.’

Her lack of embarrassment at her faux pas was refreshing, and when she laughed, so did Jack.

‘So what will he do for Nancy?’

‘A miracle,’ Nina said. ‘I had a woman last year who had massive, ke-, ke-, I can’t remember the name. Really thick scars.’

‘Keilod scars,’ Jack said.

‘That’s it, and her nose had been broken numerous times. Louis did the most amazing work, he always does—he gives these women their faces back.’

As the evening progressed Jack was far from bored.

He was, in fact, fascinated.

They didn’t finish till after ten, not because of clients but because they actually sat talking and Jack became more and more impressed with what he’d never thought he would be. He started to understand the holistic approach that she favoured so much, and they carried on chatting as Jack drove her home.

‘We offer counselling not just to the women and children but also their partners. Some women stay and some men do choose to change.’ She saw his disbelieving eye-roll. ‘Some do!’

‘Perhaps,’ Jack said, though he’d have to see it to believe it.

Actually, he wanted to see it to believe it.

‘I’ve got a fundraiser for the burns unit next weekend.’ Jack glanced at her. ‘Come with me.’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘No, please. You dismiss all the work that I do, just as I dismissed yours, and I would like you to see what I do.’

‘Jack …’ Her voice was slightly weary. ‘I’d stick out like a sore thumb at one of those dos.’

‘I can—’

‘Please,’ Nina broke in. ‘Don’t offend me by offering to buy me something to wear. If I was a millionaire I still wouldn’t drop a thousand dollars on an evening dress and shoes.’

A thousand dollars wouldn’t begin to cover it and Jack felt that knot of unease again in his stomach as he thought of the wealth that surrounded him, the money that made money and the games that he played.

‘Think about it.’

‘May be.’

She wouldn’t.

‘And speaking of men who don’t change—’ they were nearing the turn-off for her apartment and Jack wanted to drive on ‘—would you like dinner?’

‘I had something to eat at work.’

‘A drink perhaps?’

This question Nina did think about, she really did.

She sat with her bottom being warmed on a leather seat and glanced over at him, at his perfect profile. Then, as his hand moved to turn on the music, she saw his manicured nails and the flash of his expensive watch and she remembered that he was everything she abhorred, except still she wanted him.

And Jack was the first man she had ever wanted.

The first.

Avoiding him hadn’t cleared her head—her mind was still full of him. The fight to concentrate on anything but him was a permanent one these days and she knew nothing would come of it, knew it would be short-lived, but there were too many less–than-pleasant memories in her head, and Nina wanted a nicer one to replace them.

And so she agreed to a drink.

‘Please.’

He had been sure she’d refuse him, and just as he blinked at her acceptance she surprised him again.

‘Maybe we could have a drink back at your place.’

It was like a game with two players and they were both assessing the rules.

She walked into his gleaming bachelor pad and Jack Carter was everything she wasn’t into.

Not just wealth-wise either.

He undid her coat with this half-smile on his face, made a lot of work of her belt, and that made her tingle in places she shouldn’t.

It was a tiny thing, but Nina felt her heart beating in her throat.

‘Drink …’ Jack said, pouring her one without waiting for her reply.

He watched her at the window, still in her boots and that awful grey pinafore, but, he conceded, he liked the purple.

But it wasn’t just her appearance that was different from that of any woman he usually brought home, it wasn’t just that Nina was different.

He actually felt different.

Very different.

He just couldn’t nail why.

He took off his tie, kicked off his shoes, took a seat on a low lounge and watched as she stood there, looking out at the New York skyline she loved.

‘What are you thinking?’ Jack asked.

‘Nothing. I’m just looking at the view.’

‘Come on, Nina, what are you thinking?’

Nina turned. ‘Will I be sent to the naughty corner if I don’t tell you?’

‘Blindfolded.’ Jack actually laughed.

‘I don’t think I like you, Jack.’ It was strange she could be so honest, could turn and look him in the eye and say exactly what she thought. ‘And I know this isn’t going anywhere.’

‘Why not?’

‘Oh, please,’ she scoffed. She didn’t need the sweet talk, she really didn’t and told him so as she walked over to where he sat. ‘I don’t know that I’m up for the sexual marathon of the next few days or weeks and then the awkwardness after …’

‘I’m never awkward,’ Jack said, and watched as she smiled. ‘I bet you like really considerate, thoughtful lovers who say, “Is this okay for you, Nina?” as you lie there bored out of your mind.’

‘No.’

He frowned.

‘So, if you’re not sure you like me, why are you here?’

‘Maybe for the same reason as you.’

‘I’ll tell you why I’m here.’ And she waited for that beautiful mouth to tell her the reason, for him to say something crude perhaps, yet it was he now who surprised her. ‘Unlike you, I happen to know that I like the person I’ve recently been spending time with. Admittedly, that’s taken me by surprise—no offence, but you’re not my type.’

‘None taken,’ Nina said, ‘because you are so not mine.’

‘However …’ he was looking at her mouth as he spoke, his hands sliding up between her thighs ‘I … think the sex could be amazing, and I actually have no idea where we are going and no idea where this is leading, just that I would like to get to know you some more.’