The Calamity Janes: Cassie & Karen: Do You Take This Rebel?

She nodded. When he had her cola and his beer, he led her outside. She didn’t resist. She couldn’t. It seemed they were both caught up in some sort of spell. Reunions had a way of doing that, she supposed. They were intended to take you back in time, to a simpler era when nothing mattered but football victories and school dances. Unfortunately, for her those times were far more complicated.

The heat of the day had given way to a cool breeze. The summer sun was just now sinking below the horizon in the west in a blaze of orange. They stood silently, side by side, watching as the sky faded to pale pink, then mauve, then turned dark as velvet.

“Quite a show,” Cole observed.

“God’s gift at the end of the day, if you take the time to enjoy it,” Cassie said.

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Take the time to enjoy it? What have you been up to for the past ten years, Cassie?”

“Working.”

“Doing what? Where are you living?”

Now there was the question of the hour, she thought. “I’ve been in a small town north of Cheyenne,” she said.

“Doing?”

“The same old thing,” she said, unable to hide a note of defensiveness. “Working in a diner.”

“You were always good at that,” he said with what sounded like genuine admiration. “You had a way of making every customer feel special, even the grumpy ones.”

She shrugged. “Better tips that way.”

“Why do you do that?” he asked, regarding her with a puzzled expression. “Why do you put yourself down? There’s nothing wrong with being a damn fine waitress.”

“No, there’s not,” she agreed.

He grinned. “That’s better. Besides being a waitress, what have you been up to? I imagine raising your son takes most of your time.”

She swallowed hard. Obviously he knew about Jake’s existence, so there was little point in denying it. “Yes.”

“I saw him, you know.”

Fear made her stiffen. “You did? When?”

“The day you drove into town. I saw you go speeding past the ranch. He was with you.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. Only from a distance, then. He couldn’t have seen much, a glimpse at most.

“How old is he?”

“Nine.”

“Then you must have had him not long after we broke up,” he said, his expression thoughtful. Then, as if a dark cloud had passed in front of the sun, his eyes filled with shadows. His gaze hardened. “You didn’t waste a lot of time finding somebody new, did you?”

She wanted to deny the damning conclusion to which he’d leaped, but it was safer than the alternative, safer than letting him make a connection with the timing of their relationship. “Not long,” she agreed. She studied him curiously. “I didn’t think it mattered what I did, since you were long gone.”

“So, we’re back to that,” he said, his tone cold. “I wrote to you. I explained that my father insisted I go back to college right then. I asked you to wait, told you I’d get home the first chance I got.”

“And I’m telling you that I never got such a letter,” she said. “If I had, I would have waited.” She started to add that she had loved him, but what was the point of saying that now? Whatever she had felt had died years ago.

“I would have understood,” she told him, her voice flat.

“Oh, really? That wasn’t how it sounded in the letter I got. You sounded as if you didn’t give a rat’s behind what I did.”

She looked him straight in his eyes as she made another flat denial. “I never wrote to you. How could I? I didn’t even know where you’d gone.”

“I have the letter, dammit.”

“I didn’t write it,” she repeated.

He studied her unflinching gaze, then sighed. “You’re telling me the truth, aren’t you?” He stepped away from her and raked his hand through his hair in a gesture that had become habit whenever he was troubled. “What the hell happened back then?”

Suddenly, before she could even speculate aloud, he muttered a harsh expletive. “My father, no doubt. He had something to do with it, you can be sure of that. He forced me to go, then made sure my letter never reached you. I’m sure he was responsible for the letter I got, as well.”

“Wouldn’t you have recognized his handwriting?”

“Of course, but he wouldn’t write it himself. He’d have someone else do his dirty work.”

If that was true, Cassie didn’t know how she felt about it. It would be a relief to know Cole hadn’t abandoned her after all, but it didn’t change anything. Too much time had passed. And there was Jake to consider. Cole would be livid if he found out the boy was his.

“It doesn’t matter now, Cole. It was a long time ago. We’ve both moved on with our lives.”

He scanned her face intently. “You’re happy, then?”

“Yes,” she said. It was only a tiny lie. Most of the time she was...content. At least she had been until Jake’s mischief had made it necessary for her to leave the home she’d worked so hard to make for them.

“You didn’t marry your son’s father, though, did you?”

“No. It wouldn’t have worked,” she said truthfully. “Jake and I do okay on our own.”

He smiled. “That’s his name? Jake?”

She nodded.

“I like it.”

She had known he would, because they had discussed baby names one night when they’d allowed themselves to dream about the future. Cole had evidently forgotten that, which was just as well.

“He’s a good kid?”

“Most of the time,” she said with a rueful grin.

“Being your son, I’ll bet he’s a handful. What sort of mischief does he get into?”

She found herself telling him about the computer scam, laughing now that it was behind them, admiring—despite herself—her son’s audacity. “Not that I would ever in a million years tell him that. What he did was wrong. That’s the only message I want him to get from me.”

“We did worse,” Cole pointed out.

“We certainly did not,” she protested.

“We stole all the footballs right before the biggest game of the season, because I was injured and the team was likely to lose without me.”

Cassie remembered. She also remembered that they’d been suspended from school for a week because of it. In high school she had loved leading the older, more popular Cole into mischief. It was only later, when he’d come home from college, that their best-buddy relationship had turned into something else.

Thinking of the stunts she’d instigated, she smiled. “That was different. No one was really harmed by it. And they played, anyway. The coach went home and found a football in his garage. The team was so fired up by what we’d done, by the implication that they couldn’t win without you, that they went out and won that game just to prove that they didn’t need you to run one single play.”

Cole laughed. “It was quite a reality check for my ego, that’s for sure.”

“Okay, so we chalk that one up as a stunt that backfired,” she said. “Anything else you remember us doing that was so terrible?”

“There was the time you talked me into taking all the prayer books from the Episcopal church and switching them with the ones at the Baptist church.” He grinned. “Why did we do that, anyway?”

She shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. And I think I was mad at my mom, because she kept pointing out prayers she thought I ought to be learning to save my soul from eternal damnation. I was tired of hearing the same ones over and over again, so I thought a switch would give her some new material.”

The mention of her mother snapped her back to the present and the worries that had been stirred up about her health, first by Cole, tonight by Karen and even by that incident in town.

Suddenly she simply had to know the truth. She handed Cole her glass. “I have to go.”

“Where?” he asked, his expression puzzled.

“Home. I want to talk to my mother before it gets to be too late.”

The fact that he simply nodded and didn’t challenge her abrupt decision to leave confirmed her fear that something must be terribly wrong. Moreover, Cole obviously knew what it was. There was too much sympathy in his expression.

“Give her my regards,” he said quietly.

She considered trying to question him again about what he knew, but it was pointless. Cole could keep a secret as well as anyone, and it was evident he intended to keep this one out of loyalty to her mother.

“I will,” she said.

She started across the parking lot, but he called out to her. “Cassie?”

She turned back. “Yes?”

He lifted his glass in a silent toast. “Thanks for the dance.”

“Anytime,” she said.

He grinned. “I’ll hold you to that. There will be a great country band at the picnic tomorrow, and I haven’t had a decent Texas two-step partner in years.”

“You might still be saying that after tomorrow,” she retorted. “I haven’t been dancing in years.”

And then, because she was far too tempted to go back and steal a kiss as she once would have done without a thought, she turned on her heel and strode away without another backward glance.

* * *

At home Cassie kicked off her shoes in the living room, then noted with relief that there was still a light on in her mother’s room. She padded into the kitchen and brewed two cups of tea, then carried them upstairs. In her bedroom Edna was reading her Bible as she had every night before bed for as long as Cassie could remember.

“I made some tea,” she announced.

Startled, her mother’s gaze shot up. Worry puckered her brow. “You’re home awfully early. Weren’t you having a good time seeing all your friends?”

“Cole was there,” she said, as if that explained everything.

“I see.” Her mother set aside her Bible and patted the edge of the bed. “Come, sit beside me.” She smiled. “I remember when you used to come in here after one of your dates and tell me everything you’d done.”

“Almost everything,” Cassie corrected dryly as she set the teacups on the nightstand and sat beside her mother.

“Some things a mother doesn’t need to know.”

Cassie leaned down and pressed a kiss to her mother’s cheek. “I’m sorry I made things so difficult for you.”

“You were testing the limits. It was natural enough. So, tell me, did you and Cole talk tonight?”

“Some, but I don’t want to get into that right now.” She took her mother’s hand in her own, felt the calluses on the tips of her fingers put there by mending countless shirts, sewing on hundreds of buttons and hemming at least as many skirts, month after month, year after year. “I want to talk about you.”

“Me?” Her mother withdrew her hand and looked away, her expression suddenly nervous. “Why would you want to talk about me?”

“Because of that spell you had in town and because twice in the past few days people have said things, things that didn’t make any sense to me.”

“About?”

“You.” She studied her mother’s face. “Are you okay, Mom? Is there something going on that you haven’t told me?”

A soft smile touched her mother’s lips. She raised her hand to tuck a wayward curl behind Cassie’s ear. “I’m glad you’re home for a visit.”

The evasion only made her impatient. “Mom, tell me.”

Her mother drew in a deep breath, then blurted out, “I have cancer.”

There it was, that single, plainspoken word with the power to instill terror. Cassie was devastated. For a full five minutes after her mother said the words, Cassie simply stared at her in shock.

“But you don’t look sick,” she whispered finally, her voice catching on a sob. “Except for that little spell yesterday afternoon, you’ve looked just fine since I got here.”

“They tell me I’m going to look a whole lot worse before they’re through with me,” her mother said, managing to inject an unexpected note of wry humor into the solemn discussion. “And that spell was because of the heat, not the cancer.”

Tears spilled down Cassie’s cheeks as she reached for the woman who’d had to endure so much by having a daughter who was always causing trouble.

“I want to know everything the doctors said. When did you find out?”

“I found the lump in my breast two weeks ago and had a needle biopsy that was positive. They wanted to operate right away, but you were coming home. I told them they’d just have to wait.”

Cassie was appalled. “You haven’t even had the surgery yet?”

“There will be time enough after you’ve gone back home.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not leaving you here to go through this alone.”

“You’ve made a life for yourself,” her mother countered. “You can’t know how grateful I am that you and Jake are doing well. I won’t disrupt that.”

“You don’t have a choice,” Cassie said decisively. “We will call the doctor first thing next week and schedule the surgery. You’ll need someone here when you’re going through treatment, too. Will you be having radiation? Chemotherapy?”

“That will depend on what they find when they operate, but I have plenty of friends who will stand by me,” her mother insisted. “I’m sure that’s how Cole and Karen know. People are already rallying around with offers to drive me wherever I need to go. I don’t want you turning your life upside down on my account, especially not with Cole snooping around. Who knows what sort of trouble that man and his father might stir up?”

Cassie’s gaze narrowed. She had never heard her mother say a harsh word about Cole. In fact, she had always treated him as if he were her own son. Of course, if she had known all along about Cole being Jake’s father, that would have colored her opinion of him.

“Cole’s not important right now,” Cassie said fiercely. “The only thing that matters is getting you well.” Tears stung her eyes again. “Oh, Mom, you’re going to beat this. I know you are.”

“Yes,” her mother said confidently, “I am. I intend to see my grandson grow into a fine man, one that both of us can be proud of.”

“Then, no more arguments. Jake and I are staying right here with you. I’ll make a quick trip to get the rest of my things, and I’ll talk to Stella tomorrow about going back to work for her. If she can’t take me on, I’ll try the new restaurant.”

“But how on earth can you keep Jake and Cole apart?” her mother asked worriedly. “I won’t be responsible for Cole figuring out that the boy is his. What if he decides he wants to be a part of Jake’s life? What if he asks for custody? Frank Davis will push him to, I know that much. The man is desperate for an heir for that ranch of his. It grates on his nerves that Cole only gives it half his attention.”

Cassie couldn’t deny that staying was a risk, but weighed against the prospect of her mother battling cancer all alone, she had no choice. “Mom, I want to be here. I owe you. You were always there for me when I needed you, even when I didn’t deserve it. You are not going to face this ordeal without your family standing beside you, and that’s that.”

Just that easily—just that heartbreakingly—the decision to stay was made, and this time it was irreversible. Only time would tell if she would be able to live with the consequences.

6

When Cassie finally left her mother’s room, it was almost midnight. As she went to take their untouched, full teacups into the kitchen, she thought she noticed a movement on the front porch. She set the cups on a table in the foyer, slipped quietly up to the door, flipped on the overhead light and saw Cole sitting in the swing, idly setting it in motion. She wasn’t nearly as surprised by his presence as she should have been, nor as dismayed.

She stepped outside, closing the door behind her. “What are you doing here?” she asked, aware that her voice was ragged and her eyes red rimmed from crying.

He turned to face her, his expression sympathetic. “I thought you might need a friendly shoulder.”

“I could use one,” she agreed. But his? How could she possibly turn to him? How could she let him back into her life at all?

He patted the swing. “Come on over here and tell me how your talk with your mom went.”

At the moment she needed comfort more than she needed to maintain a safe emotional distance from this man who represented such a huge threat to her and her son. She sat beside him, careful to keep as much physical distance between them as the swing allowed. Cole was having none of that, though. He slid closer and draped his arm around her shoulders as he had dozens of times in the past.

She turned and met his gaze. “How did you know? I’m sure she didn’t share it with you.”

“It’s a small town. Word gets around, especially about something like this. There have been prayers at church. Everyone wants to help out. How’s she doing?”

“Better than I am,” Cassie said honestly. “She thought she’d just postpone the surgery until after I was gone and I’d never have to know a thing. She didn’t want me worrying. Well, she was right about one thing—I am worried. I’m scared silly, in fact.”

Cole simply let her talk, his silence giving her permission to voice all of the fears she hadn’t been able to express to her mother.

“I know all the statistics, but I always thought breast cancer was something that happened to other people, not to me, not to my mom. It’s not just the surgery. These days they treat cancer aggressively—she’s likely to have both radiation and chemo. She’ll lose her hair, more than likely. She’ll be exhausted. She doesn’t have any kind of medical insurance. And she thought she could go through all of this alone, that she could manage. What does that say about our relationship? She’s sick, really sick, and she didn’t think she could count on me.”

“I don’t think it was that,” Cole said. “Your mom’s always had to be strong to face the adversities in her life. She’s always had to rely on herself. She simply figured she’d deal with this the same way.”

Cassie turned her tear-filled gaze on him. “But, Cole, she could die.”

Cole’s expression suddenly turned bleak. “Breast cancer survival rates are better these days than they used to be,” he said stiffly.

Only then did she remember that Cole had lost his own mother to breast cancer years ago. She cursed herself for her insensitivity. How could she have forgotten that he’d been little more than a boy when he’d had to face what she was facing now? How much more terrifying it must have seemed to him. And his father, with all his power, hadn’t been able to change the outcome. Nor had he ever gotten over the loss.

She touched a hand to his cheek. “I’m sorry. I should have thought. You shouldn’t have to listen to me go on and on about this. It’s bound to bring up a lot of very painful memories.”

“Stop it,” he said, clasping her hand in his. “I’m the one who came over here, remember? Nobody understands better than I do what you’re going through, but I’ll say it again, the odds are in her favor. And stop worrying about the expense. Just put it out of your mind. I don’t cared who she’s seen already, we’ll see to it that she has the best surgeon and the best oncologist around.”

“We?” she echoed.

“Of course I’m going to help.”

“But why would you do that?” she asked, genuinely bewildered by the offer.

“Because she’s your mother,” he said simply. “Besides, for a time she was the closest thing I had to a mother, too. It hurt to lose her, when I lost you. I don’t want either of us to lose her forever.”

“Oh, God,” Cassie whispered as the panic rose inside her again. “We’re not going to, are we?”

“Not if I can help it,” Cole said with grim determination.

Cassie felt some of the tension leave her body. It was as good as a promise, and at one time she had trusted Cole’s promises with total confidence.

There might be a million things left for them to work out where the past was concerned, but just for tonight she wanted to believe in him again. Because he was all that stood between her and despair.

* * *

He shouldn’t have promised Cassie that her mother would live. Cole paced his office, portable phone in hand, as he waited for yet another so-called expert—men who were recommended by friends—to deliver an opinion about Edna Collins’s chances of survival. He’d spent the day looking for guarantees, but so far none had been given.

He told himself he was doing it as a courtesy to a woman who’d once been kind to him, but he knew better. He was doing it for Cassie. He’d recognized that bleak expression on her face, that panic she hadn’t been able to keep out of her eyes. He’d seen it reflected time and again in the mirror years ago.

While his father had ranted at the doctors and cursed God, it had been left to Cole to pray, to sit and hold his mother’s increasingly frail hand as she slipped farther and farther away from them. No matter that Cassie was older than he’d been, no matter what he thought of her, he didn’t want her to go through that, not if he could help it.

“Why are you mixed up in this?” his father asked, his gaze speculative. “Edna Collins won’t take kindly to your interference.”

“What would you know about Edna Collins? You always looked down on her.”

“I did not. She’s a fine woman. I just thought her daughter wasn’t the right woman for you—not back then, anyway.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m maintaining an open mind.”

“Not likely,” Cole muttered. “But whatever your agenda is, Dad, keep it to yourself. Cassie and I were over and done a long time ago, and you know precisely why that is. You did your damage, and it’s too late to fix things.”

He needed to convince his father of that, if only to keep him from meddling and ruining whatever chance Cole might have to patch things up. This time no one would have an opportunity to interfere.

“It’s never too late as long as there’s breath in your body,” his father said fiercely, clearly undaunted by Cole’s remark. “If there’s a second chance for the two of you, don’t be bullheaded and waste it.”

Was there a second chance? Cole wasn’t certain yet. A part of him wanted there to be. To be sure all of the old feelings—that quick slam of desire—were as powerful as they’d ever been, stronger, in fact, now that they were a man’s, not a boy’s.

Funny how at twenty he’d thought he was so mature, so grown-up. Yet he’d let himself be manipulated and controlled. He’d given up one thing he wanted for another, never asking if the price was too high. Only later, when he’d realized Cassie was gone for good, did he consider the cost.

And then it had been too late.

* * *

The Calamity Janes had spread a half dozen quilts across the grass. Each of them had brought a cooler filled with drinks, sandwiches and a variety of desserts. There was more than enough food for themselves and most of their class, but none of them had eaten a bite.

“I can’t believe it,” Gina said. “Your mom was always such a skinny little thing. She looked as if a strong wind would blow her away, but she had this unmistakable strength.”

“And that’s exactly what’s going to get her through this,” Karen said, giving Cassie’s hand a squeeze as she shot a warning glance at Gina. “No more talk of gloom and doom. I’m so glad you’re going to stay to help out. I know how much that must mean to your mom.”

“She fought me on it,” Cassie admitted.

“And we all know why that was,” Lauren chimed in. “Sweetie, I know you feel you need to be here, but let’s think about this. What about Jake and Cole?”

“I’ll just have to do whatever I can to keep them apart,” Cassie said. It was going to be more easily said than done, given Cole’s determination to help out with her mom’s treatment in any way he could. She doubted that meant merely writing a check and steering clear of the house or whatever hospital she went to.

“You’d barely been in town for a day, and they almost ran into each other,” Gina reminded her. “How can you help your mom if you’re worried every second about Cole figuring out that Jake is his?”

“I think she should just tell Cole and get it over with,” Karen said.

“Tell Cole what?” the very man in question inquired, making Cassie’s heart thump wildly.