The Holiday Nanny

“Oh, yes. Though I doubt he’ll still be up.” Connie checked her watch then shook her head. “No, I’m sure he’s asleep now.”

“So he still likes to rise before the rest of humanity? Some things never change. I suppose he’s still fiddling with those roses of his?” Wade chuckled as he followed her from the room.

“Yes. He won first place in the horticultural show last month.” She indicated the snapshot she’d taken, which Silver had insisted on placing on the hall table. “Now he’s preparing for some kind of Christmas tour. He must have advised you or Mr. Foster about that?”

Wade laughed. Connie couldn’t help admiring how handsome he was when the stern lines around his mouth relaxed and his brown eyes lost their shadows.

“Hornby hasn’t advised me of his plans in years,” he chuckled. “He started here when my grandfather ran Abbot Bridges. I think he still sees me as a boy who’s barely tolerated in his precious gardens. Nothing changes for Hornby but his flowers.”

“His son visited him last week.”

Wade’s eyes opened wide. “Jared is back in town? I didn’t think he’d ever leave Australia. I’ll have to call him up.”

“Well, if you’ll excuse me?” Connie tried to step around him, but Wade’s hand on her arm stopped her.

“So, there won’t be any, um, situations, between us that you might mistake?” Wade asked, his gaze direct.

Connie had to smile.

“I’m not looking for a man,” she assured him and then realized that wasn’t quite true. “At least, I’m not looking for a husband,” she amended. “You don’t have to worry about my affections, Mr. Abbot. You’re quite safe.” Then she stepped awkwardly around him and hurried up the stairs to her room next to Silver’s, his “good night” echoing around her head.

As she sat in her window seat overlooking the backyard, Connie mused on the changes that would come. The Abbot home was large. The master wing was on the second floor, on the far side of the house, opposite Silver’s rooms and hers. The child might have very little contact with Wade unless Connie arranged otherwise.

“There’s a problem between the two of them, God,” she murmured, watching as Wade emerged on the pool deck ten minutes later. He walked back and forth across the deck, pausing at one end to inspect a bush, then resuming his private stroll. “Some barrier that I don’t understand. Help me to help them. Amen.”

She didn’t turn on the light, didn’t prepare for bed, as was her custom. Instead, Connie sat in the dark, watching Silver’s father pace across the yard, his steps barely slowing. When he finally sat on one of the chaise longues, the little clock on her nightstand read two thirty.

Yes, definitely something wrong. It wasn’t her business, but Connie wanted to help. She knew what it was like to face each day knowing your father didn’t care about you, had cut you out of his life. She couldn’t let that happen to sweet Silver.

Wade wasn’t uncaring. He’d made it a point to visit his daughter, check on her when he arrived home and even bring her a special toy. He’d asked about her welfare, said it was important to him that she be happy. He had to love her.

“He has to, God. Because I don’t want Silver to be like me.”

Wade climbed the stairs slowly, knowing he should stay away but needing to reassure himself one more time that Silver was all right, that nothing bad had happened to her in his absence. The reports he’d asked David to send were never enough to soothe his imagined anxieties. And the video Ms. Ladden had sent only made his yearning to be near the child that much stronger.

“Can you come home and see me in the Christmas play, Daddy? Please? I’m going to be an angel,” Silver had said in the video.

An angel. A gift from God—for him? That was the question.

He slipped through the partially open door and stood gazing down at the wonder that was Silver. From the moment she’d been born, he’d been overwhelmed by her, by the silver-gold hair that had never lost its fat curls, by her enormous blue eyes that peered up at him with utter trust, by the tiny hands that grasped his in complete confidence that he would not lead her astray.

And yet Wade had failed her. At least he felt he had. Though his heart ached to spill out the words of love that had built inside for the past four years, somehow they wouldn’t move past his lips.

Because since the day Bella had died, he’d been enslaved by fear.

Fear that Silver wasn’t his. Fear that someone else would claim her and he’d lose the only person in his life who truly mattered. Fear she’d never know how much he wanted to be the kind of dad she deserved. With his return home, those fears erupted anew. What had seemed so simple last week in Argentina—coming home, settling down, being a real father—now took on nuances and complications he hadn’t imagined.

Bella’s child.

Not his daughter, but Bella’s child.

As always, Wade’s mind traveled back to that day and the phone call that had turned his world on its axis. There had been a fire on a private yacht. A child had survived unharmed. A woman had died. Her death was a result of smoke inhalation, they said. The reason for the fire wasn’t known. When Wade arrived on the scene, he’d seen that beside Bella lay the body of the man she’d run to, the man with whom she’d been going to raise Silver.

The nightmare had shattered when Wade had heard the plaintive cries, pleas for someone to help. He recognized Silver’s howl immediately. She lay upstairs in her carrier, secured to a chair on the bow of the charred vessel, kicking and bawling at the top of her lungs, guarded by a firefighter. She was fine—unhurt but hungry. Wade had snatched Silver into his arms and left as quickly as he could. The next day he’d flown home.

But in four years, the startling clarity of one image from that day never left Wade’s brain, no matter how hard he’d tried to erase it—Bella’s man was a young blond-haired Adonis whose blue eyes stared lifelessly at him.

That man could have been Silver’s father. Silver, the child Wade would gladly give his life for if it would keep her safe and happy.

The beautiful blessed daughter he’d begun to doubt was his own.

Something wet dripped on Wade’s shirt and brought him back to the present. Tears. But what good did they do? How could he give up Silver? It would be like ripping out his own heart.

But what if Wade was wrong to keep her? What if he’d torn her away from cousins, aunts and grandparents who would dote on her, fill her life with love—something he had so much trouble showing?

“I can’t lose Silver, God. Don’t ask that of me. Please.”

God hadn’t answered Wade Abbot’s prayers in a very long time.

Chapter Two

“I have to thank you, David.” Wade looked at the man who’d been his best friend since they’d been kids, the only person besides Jared whom he could trust as Silver’s guardian. “Miss Ladden seems to be a perfect match for Silver.”

“Because of where she grew up, you mean?” David nodded as he adjusted his chair so the sun couldn’t reach his eyes in the outside café. “I guess being the eldest of ten foster kids does prepare you for whatever a whirlwind like Silver can throw at you.”

“Ten kids? Wow! I didn’t know the authorities would allow parents to foster that many children.” Wade bit into his pizza.

“According to my investigator, those who run children’s services are so delighted with the results of this foster home that they will send as many kids as the Martens family are willing to take. Martens—that’s the name of Connie’s foster parents.” David signaled for a refill of his iced tea.

“Apparently, kids are clamoring to get in there.”

“Why?”

“Maybe because they get to live on a big farm in North Dakota with everything a kid could ask for—a creek to swim in, a hill to slide down in winter, lots of woods to hide in and animals galore.”

“You sound like you’ve seen the place.”

“I checked it out.” David shrugged. “I had my god-daughter to protect, remember?”

Wade met his gaze. “Thanks, man.”

“My pleasure.” David grinned. “It’s a fantastic farm. Not a lot that’s modern but the Martens family make up for that. They seem to adore each and every one of their charges, and their kids beg not to be moved. Of the forty kids the family has had over the years, most have gone on to college.”

“Including Miss Ladden?”

“No, she stayed after high school to help the Martens family with a special needs kid. And call her Connie. She doesn’t stand on formality.” David lifted his pizza then winced. “I can understand your reasons for preferring formality after the last nanny, but I’m fairly sure you’re safe with Connie. She’s had some bad experiences with men. I can’t imagine she’s interested in repeating the experience. Has she told you about her father?”

“No.” Wade wanted to know more about the vivacious woman who seemed to adore Silver. “She told me about her fiancé bailing though.”

“You should ask her about her dad,” David said quietly.

“She entered foster care when she was eleven and hasn’t seen her father since.”

Wade couldn’t imagine how Connie must have felt. He’d grown up with a beautiful home and parents who made sure he had everything he needed. Things had changed when Amanda arrived on the scene, especially after Wade’s stepbrother, Danny, was born. But Wade had never been abandoned.

Until Bella in Brazil.

“That’s the reason Connie came to Tucson,” David continued. “She’s trying to find her father.”

Wade frowned. “Why?”

“You should ask her.”

“I will,” Wade assured him. “But right now I’m asking you.”

“I’m guessing she wants some kind of closure.” David grabbed another piece of pizza. “What do I know? I’m just a lawyer.”

“A very good one.”

“Thanks. What are you going to do about the company? You know Amanda won’t let your decision to stay here go by without a fight.” David sighed. “Dear Amanda. Sometimes I wish your father hadn’t left her those shares in Abbot Bridges.”

“You and me both.” Wade pushed away his plate, refused the dessert their server offered and asked for coffee. He sipped it then pushed it away as well. “The one thing I really miss about Argentina is the coffee.”

“Amanda?” David nudged.

“She can’t force me to go back,” he insisted. “She’ll just have to understand that I need to be here for Silver. I’ll find someone else to take my place.”

“But you’ve always been the overseas foreman,” David said with a frown. “Are you sure you can let go of that?”

“Already have. I asked Hector Salazar to scout out the next location before I left. His work is ahead of schedule. Time means money, and you know how Amanda loves money.” Wade grinned. “When the board sees how much we’ll save, they’ll approve my plans.”

“I hope you’re right.” David didn’t look convinced. He checked his watch and laid down his napkin. “I have a meeting in ten minutes. I have to go.” He thrust out his hand and smacked Wade on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re back, man. That little darlin’ of yours needs her daddy around.”

“Thanks.” Wade slapped him back, just a little harder. It was a game they played. Toughest kid on the block. A relic of their past. “I appreciate what you’ve done for us, David. By the way, any new lady I should know about?”

“Like I’ve had time?” David snorted, then grinned. “If I could find someone like Connie, I’d make time, though.”

“Did you ask her out?” Wade asked, slightly irritated by the thought.

“She’s not interested in me. Besides, I’m a lawyer.” David rolled his eyes. “Her ex was one.”

“Ow!” Wade winced but laughed.

“We legal eagles are always maligned. By the way, I hear Jared Hornby’s back. We should get together. It’s been too many years since the old threesome hit this town. Let me know if you hear from him.” David grabbed his briefcase, waggled his fingers and took off in the long-legged stride he’d once used to great advantage on a varsity football field.

Relishing the relative peace of the sidewalk café after Argentina’s hustle and bustle, Wade remained in his chair, sipping coffee that was too weak and thinking.

“Daddy!” The squeal could only belong to Silver. She appeared, dragging Connie by the hand toward him.

Connie carried a large bag. It bumped against bare slim legs, which her lovely yet conservative yellow sundress revealed. The lemony shade enhanced the sunny highlights in her tumble of chestnut curls.

After a moment, Silver found Connie’s progress too slow. She let go of Connie’s hand and raced up to him, the tiny bells attached to her blue barrettes jingling merrily as she flung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his cheek. “Are you meeting us for lunch, Daddy? Is that the surprise, Connie?”

Wade’s warning siren went off. Had the nanny arranged this “chance” meeting?

“No! Silver, I had no idea your father—” Connie’s flushed face gave away her embarrassment. She glanced quickly at Wade and as quickly away. It was obvious she was recalling his comment from their conversation three nights earlier and was uncomfortable with the current meeting.

Wade returned Silver’s embrace then released her as he reconsidered his rush to judge the nanny. He’d told no one he was meeting David. His assistant only knew he was to be out of the office for an hour. Connie couldn’t have known of his plans. But a prickle of warning still feathered its way down his nerves. He’d been tricked before. It wouldn’t happen again.

“Haven’t you eaten lunch yet?” Wade took the parcel from Connie and set it on David’s vacated chair. Silver chose the chair across from him, leaving Connie the seat next to his. Wade held it while she sat down, her head tilted to avoid his gaze. But that only gave him a better view of her long, lovely neck.

“I really didn’t know you would be here. I had to go to the fabric store on this block. Silver needs an angel costume,” she muttered.

“They have those at the fabric store?” Wade motioned for the waiter.

“No. They have fabric,” she said, risking a quick look at his face. “I got some yardage. I’m going to make her costume.”

“You know how to sew?” Somehow it didn’t surprise Wade as much as it should have. From the little he’d seen, Connie Ladden seemed to do many things well.

“Connie makes her clothes, Daddy. Isn’t that amazing?” Silver sipped her water, her blue eyes shining.

“Very amazing,” he agreed, studying the lines of her dress. Connie blushed even more deeply so he looked at Silver. “What would you like to have for lunch, my treat.”

“Can I have a hamburger?”

About to agree to Silver’s request, Wade happened to glance at Connie and saw the quick negative shake of her head. He sat back and waited for her to choose Silver’s meal.

Connie didn’t dictate or order for Silver. She consulted with her, offering choices. The end result was a healthy blend of several food groups, which the little girl seemed delighted about. For herself, Connie ordered a salad and soup.

“They do a wonderful shrimp salad,” Wade told her.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” For the first time since she’d arrived, Connie looked directly at him, a smile tipping up her full rosy lips. “I’m afraid I’m allergic to seafood.”

“Sad for you,” he said with a grin. “Shrimp, lobster, clams—I love them.”

“I guess many people do,” she mused quietly then quickly glanced away, breaking their gaze.

There wasn’t a trace of “feel sorry for me” in her voice, and yet Wade found himself wondering what else this woman had missed out on.

“Daddy?” Silver tugged on his sleeve, drawing his attention. A tiny pleat marred the perfection of her pretty forehead.

“Yes?” Wade wondered if the strong sunshine would mar her skin, but no sooner had the thought crossed his mind than Connie pulled a hat out of her bag and set in on the child’s head.

“Me and Connie went to a dancing thing. What did you call it again?” Silver twisted her head to study Connie, her face perplexed.

“Ballet. And we say Connie and I went, not Connie and me.” The tiny rebuke was accompanied by a soft squeeze to the shoulder. “It was the Nutcracker Ballet,” Connie explained as their server arrived with their meals. “Silver was quite intrigued by the dancers.”

“Yes, and we went behind the stage and saw how everything worked. I loved the Sugar Plum Fairy, Daddy. Could I be a Sugar Plum Fairy, do you think?” She crunched on a carrot then swallowed quickly. “When I get big, I mean. If I practice.”

“Ballet is awfully hard work, Silver.” Wade glanced at the nanny, hoping for some direction, but Connie was busy squeezing lemon on her salad.

“I’m strong. ’Sides, Connie says that if you don’t ever try to do hard things, you won’t ever know if you can do them.” Silver tipped her head up, a question in her eyes.

“Isn’t that right, Connie?”

“Yes, honey. But I wasn’t referring to ballet,” she assured Wade, tilting her curly dark head back so she could look at him full on. “A commitment like that has to be made by you and your father.”

Her father. But was he?

“I’ll think about it, Silver. Okay?” He waited until she nodded, her cheeks full as a squirrel’s storing nuts. He glanced at the clock. “I guess I’d better get back. We have a board meeting this afternoon.”

“Oh, can’t you stay a few more minutes?” Connie’s rushed whisper came as Silver turned away to watch a bird. “You’ve been away so long, and Silver really needs to reconnect.”

She had gray eyes, Wade suddenly realized. True gray, not the changeable shade of blue-gray usually seen. They held his stare unwaveringly, searching his for—something.

Immediately, his hackles rose. He’d been wrong. She had found out he was coming here, had arranged for them to arrive just as David left so she could eat with him and beg him to stay. She hadn’t paid any attention to his warning. Wade had a horrible sense of déjà vu.

And he couldn’t, wouldn’t, allow it.

“I told you, Ms. Ladden. I’m very busy.” Wade rose, tossed some bills on the table and pulled on his jacket. “I don’t have time to dawdle over lunch with you.”

Emphasis on the last two words was lost on her. She leaned back in her chair and studied him for several long moments. Finally she nodded. She looked—sad. “I see.”

Wade heard a wealth of reprimand in the comment and felt a boatload of guilt. He’d only just arrived home. He wanted and needed to spend time with Silver, as she needed time with him. He wanted to see all the nuances of his quickly growing girl. But not now and not with Connie watching.

“I’ll see you both at dinner. Be good, kiddo.” With an awkward pat on Silver’s head, he escaped the nanny’s intense inspection.

“’Bye, Daddy.” Silver grabbed his hand and pulled on his sleeve, asking him to bend. When he did, she planted her lips against his cheek and gave a loud smack. “You be good, too,” she said and then dissolved in a fit of giggles.

“Right.” Wade left, striding back to the office as if hounds pursued him. He’d have to warn Connie again. Tonight. Before things got out of hand.

But as he sat behind his desk, thinking about how he should say it, Wade could almost hear David’s snickers.

What makes you think she’s after you, Abbot? Bit of an egomaniac?

Wade felt a flush of embarrassment. Maybe that was true. But as he walked into the boardroom, he resolved that he was not going to allow a second fiasco. Maybe Connie would think him a self-important jerk, and that was okay.

As long as she didn’t start thinking of him in a more personal way, as more than her employer.

“Mr. Abbot says he won’t be home for dinner tonight, Connie. He’ll get back to you about a time when the two of you can talk.”

“Fine.” Connie squeezed the telephone tightly while fighting to keep her tone even so Wade’s assistant wouldn’t guess she was upset. “Would you remind him that if Silver is to start ballet, tomorrow is the last day to register? Thank you.”

Two weeks. That’s how long Wade Abbot had been avoiding her. But in those two weeks, Connie thought he’d had ample time to make a decision on Silver’s request to take ballet lessons. And yet he still hadn’t told her his preference.

“When’s dinner?” Silver stood in the doorway, trying to stand on her very tiptoes as she’d seen at the ballet and wobbling so badly she gave up. Her tiny sneaker bells “pinged” joyously as she hopped around the room.

“Soon. I told Cora we’d love to have some yummy crow’s feet.” Connie was beginning to regret attaching those bells to so many things, though they were a good warning system announcing Silver’s presence.

“Crow’s feet?” Silver flopped down on the floor, crossed her legs and propped her chin on her hands. “That’s not a real food. Is it?”

“Of course.” Connie hid her smile as she folded the last bits of Silver’s laundry. “Crow feet stew, crow feet soup, crow feet casserole. Yum.” The teasing games were part of her effort to keep Silver from becoming too intense. Which was happening more and more as her father took pains to avoid Connie, and therefore Silver.

The question was why was he avoiding her?

“You’re joking, Connie. I can tell.”

“How can you tell?” Connie sank down on the floor across from the little girl and waited.

“When you’re joking you get a wiggly kind of a thing at the corner of your mouth. Like you want to giggle but can’t.” Silver grinned. “You’ve got it now.”

“I guess I’ll have to watch myself then.” Connie assumed a very stern look then leaned forward and began to tickle the child. “Crow feet juice for you for supper.”

“With red-painted toenails,” Silver laughed, doubling over and hooting with laughter.

“Is it necessary to make so much noise?” Amanda stood in the doorway, her frown fierce. “I have a terrible headache.”

“I’m so sorry. Can I get you anything for it?” Connie offered, springing to her feet.

“How about some peace and quiet?” the older woman snapped as she yanked the bedroom door closed. The slam reverberated to the bells on Silver’s shoes. “Now my head hurts.” Silver sighed. “How much longer is it until Daddy comes home, Connie?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. Your daddy is very busy.”

“I’m tired of busy.” Silver pressed her nose against the window, her voice drooping as much as her body. “I thought that when Daddy was home I would see him a lot, but he’s never home.”

“I know it seems like that,” Connie murmured, drawing the child into her arms. “But I’m sure it’s only while he gets things organized. You have to be patient and keep praying that God will help.” She hated saying those words. Why should a child have to beg for her father’s attention?

“I have been praying. But I think God is busy, too.” Silver sighed heavily.

“God is never too busy to hear our prayers, sweetheart. Never ever. Okay?” She chucked the girl under the chin.

“I’m hungry. Let’s go see if our crows are cooked.”

“Okay.” Silver accepted her outstretched hand and swung it as they walked downstairs. “Tonight’s the night Cora tucks me in, isn’t it?”

“Because it’s my night off, yes.” Surely she wouldn’t have to give up her plans? After many hours of chasing disappointing leads, Connie had finally tracked her father to a soup kitchen. She hoped this evening might render a clue to his current whereabouts.

Please don’t let Silver make a fuss tonight.

The prayer had no sooner left her lips than guilt descended. The last thing Connie wanted was for Silver to feel like her nanny was too busy for her, too.

“I was going out after dinner, but if you want me to stay—”

“No. I’m a big girl. And I love Cora.” Silver paused on the landing. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “But she doesn’t read stories as good as you.”

“Tomorrow we’ll do a little extra reading, okay?” Connie promised.

“Okay.” Silver smiled, but it was obvious by her quick scan of the hallway and front rooms that she was still thinking about her father’s frequent absences.