The Pregnancy Promise

She almost smiled. Tray was so proud of the company—and rightly so. Their success rate was terrific. It was becoming synonymous with high end security in the capital. The firm was constantly hiring new agents as it expanded. One department did nothing but vet new hires. Tray made security as sacred as apple pie.

“Unfortunately the company can’t help in this situation,” she said.

“Try me,” he invited.

He looked rock-solid, firm and dependable. She knew he was as honest as anyone she’d met. And he had an aura of competency that was evident at first glance. Wind had ruffled his dark hair when he walked to the cottage from his car, giving him an almost boyish look. She blinked. She’d met him when he’d been in his thirties. There was nothing boyish about the hard-as-nails man who drove Protection, Inc. He was right, she and he had worked together for years. Might as well share this little bit.

“All right.” She’d take him up on his challenge. “I found out yesterday I need to have a hysterectomy and I always wanted a family. If I don’t do something soon, I can forget about ever having one.”

Tray didn’t move, didn’t even blink, but Lianne knew she’d startled him.

“It’s a female problem and getting worse. My doctor recommended I get the operation soon—like before next month. Where does that fall in Protection’s purview?”

Unexpectedly he reached out and brushed her hair away from her cheek. Lianne was shocked at the awareness that shot through her. This was Tray, her boss, mentor and friend. She refused to hear Annalise’s words echo in her mind about being too involved with Tray.

“Not one of our more usual situations,” he murmured.

“You wanted to know,” she reminded him. She respected him more than anyone she knew. She often marveled at the dangerous situations he was able to defuse. But even Tray couldn’t pull miracles out of a hat. “Don’t worry, this is my problem, not yours. I don’t see it has much of a solution—much less a quick one.”

“You work for me so it becomes my problem,” Tray said.

“I’m coming to grips with the situation,” she said, feeling awkward discussing it with her boss. Their relationship had always been business. Now he was in her bedroom. He’d touched her in a way not consistent with being her boss.

“But it isn’t going away,” he said.

“Sooner or later, I need that operation. I just wanted to have a baby first.” Her voice cracked a little. Lianne took a deep breath. She was done with crying.

“Ironic,” he murmured.

“What is?”

“Nothing. No boyfriend ready to step up to the plate?” he asked.

She shook her head and shot him a look. “When do I have time to date and build some kind of relationship? In case you didn’t know, my boss is a slaver driver,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood. He did not need to shoulder her problems.

“Hey, whatever it takes to get the job done.”

“What it takes is two or three people to keep up with you,” she retorted.

“You’ve never complained,” he said.

“You know how exciting the work can be. I love it. But I think I’ll need to make some changes. I hate to hit the singles bars, but if I want a family—and I do—I could have left it too late. But I have to try.”

He touched her shoulder, the awareness building again. “I have a few friends I could introduce you to. I know Mark Wyatt was married for a while and liked being married.”

“What happened?”

“His wife didn’t, apparently. Anyway, they split about a year ago. He might be right what you’re looking for. He’s around my age, no children yet. Maybe he’d be interested.”

“That hardly sounds romantic,” she said.

“Hey, you want romance, you need to take your time. You want a sperm donor, you take what you can get.”

“Tray, I can’t believe you said that. It sounds horrible. I don’t just want a donor, I want someone to make a baby with and then raise that baby together, going to school functions, family gatherings. I’d like to get married if I can find the right man, but if that’s not in the cards, I still want a father who will be there when the child graduates college and gets married and makes us grandparents.”

“What time warp are you coming from?” he asked.

“What do you mean? That’s not so much to ask.”

“In this day and age it is. Who do you know who’s still married when their kids graduate college?”

“My parents for one. My grandparents are all alive, all four. There has only been one divorce in our family in three generations,” she said. “But marriage isn’t necessary. Mostly I want someone committed to being a dad. Someone who will love our child as much as I will.”

“Weigh the chances and the parameters you have to work with. See what level of comfort you can stand and go for it. It may be single motherhood is the cost of a child.”

“I guess I have some serious thinking to do.”

“Want something to eat while doing that serious thinking?”

“Can you cook?” Lianne knew he could order pizza with the best of them, but she’d never had a reason to know if he could cook. It gave a different dimension to him.

“I can manage eggs and toast,” he said.

“I think there’s only dry cereal and oatmeal.”

“I’ll manage, you rest.” He stood up and walked out of the bedroom.

Lianne breathed a sigh of relief. Tray was too energetic for the way she felt. She meant what she said—she had some serious decisions to make. Could she find someone to fall in love with on demand? Tray already promised to introduce her to an eligible man. Her sisters would, she knew. Some friends had been trying to fix her up for years, but she’d always had her work. And Tray—as Annalise said.

Lianne didn’t want to return to work. She wanted to stay at the cottage and gather her resources a bit before returning home. Yet if Tray was going to introduce her to someone he thought she might like, maybe the sooner done the better. She hoped this month’s bout of pain vanished soon.

Tray brought up oatmeal and tea. He sat beside her and matched her spoonful for spoonful. She thought it funny he would eat so plainly, and drink tea when she knew he devoured coffee all day long. A couple of times during the meal, she caught Tray studying her. Lianne wanted to squirm under his intense regard, but did her best to appear unconcerned propped up against the headboard. The pills were beginning to take effect and she felt marginally better. She appreciated his taking care of her. She never expected that. Fighting terrorists or kidnappers, yes, taking care of a sick friend—no. Showed she really didn’t know all she could about him.

“Are you tabulating every flaw to pass on to your friend?” she finally asked.

“No, I’m mentally listing all the attributes I think will have him falling over himself to date you. You’re prettier than I noticed before.”

She felt a spurt of amusement. “Thanks, I think.”

“Well, we don’t have that kind of relationship. I never noticed how pretty you are.”

“You have your own bevy of female companions,” she said. “I bet they’re all beautiful.” She’d seen several over the years—always model thin and glam.

“The old adage about beauty only being skin deep still applies.” He looked down at his tea, slowly lifting the cup to sip.

Lianne wondered what she might have said to cause that pensive—no almost pained look. Had he and a girlfriend just broken up? She tried to remember the last woman in his life. Suzette or Suzanne or something like that. Occasionally she heard him talking to her on the phone. Tray also kept his personal life out of the office.

She suddenly realized she knew very little about her boss beyond the day-to-day operations of the business. How odd. After working closely together for so long, they should know more about each other.

“What does this Mark look like?” she asked.

“He’s about my height. Has sandy color hair. He’s really interested in football, follows major league teams all season long. Goes to the same gym I go to”

Lianne wondered if she’d like that. She knew something about football, with five brothers, how could she not? But she wasn’t a passionate fan. “What else?”

“He’s in advertising, doing very well.”

She wrinkled her nose.

“Not something you like?”

“Too much cajoling people to buy stuff they don’t need.”

“Part of the economy.”

“I guess. Is he from Washington?” she asked.

“Not originally. From the Midwest somewhere, but has lived in DC for a dozen years or more. I think he went to Georgetown University and just stayed. You two would have great kids together.”

“I’ll reserve judgment until I meet the man,” she murmured. “Did you get the Schribner file?”

The conversation changed to business and Lianne and Tray fell into their familiar pattern of discussing clients and the various needs, who would be good to handle certain aspects and the shortfalls of one of the newer recruits.

By the time their meal was finished, Lianne felt better, physically and mentally. Talking with Tray pulled her back into the work arena and had her temporarily forget the ticking clock. She’d give anything to be normal, but since she wasn’t, maybe she should take a page from Tray’s book and find a way around the problem.

Once breakfast was finished, she expected him to take off. Instead he said he’d hang out for a while and let her sleep.

Whenever she awoke, he was nearby, offering tea or food. Somewhere during the day, he’d gone out and bought groceries. Lunch was more substantial than breakfast and dinner was almost a feast.

Tray left after dinner but promised to return the next morning, despite Lianne’s protests.

The next day, Lianne felt better. She had made it through another month. “You don’t have to wait on me, I’ll be fine now,” she said at breakfast, eaten downstairs this morning after a quick shower and clean clothes. She still felt awkward at Tray’s newfound concern for her.

“There are things waiting at the office,” he said, slowly.

“Go. I’ll be in tomorrow for sure.”

“I can wait,” he said. “Give you a ride back.”

“No need. I have my car, so have to drive it back anyway.”

“If you’re sure?”

“I am.”

She walked him out to his car a short time later, wondering if any neighbors were around to see the sleek black sports car, which was a testimony to his success. Lianne rarely saw the car without wishing she could drive it, just once. She’d love to ride up to her parents’ home when the entire family was gathered. Her brother Sean especially would turn green with envy.

“I’ll be in tomorrow,” she said.

Tray nodded and said, “Just don’t leave me to Jenny for long.”

“She’s not that bad. You frighten her,” Lianne said. “Be nice to her, she’ll do fine.”

“I’m always nice,” he said as he prepared to leave. He touched her shoulder. Lianne resisted the impulse to lean against him for strength. She wanted to keep their relationship normal. She couldn’t take any more distractions at this point.

Lianne watched as he drove away. Nice was not the word she’d use to describe her boss. But sometimes he could be kind. She walked back out to the beach, wishing the sun was shining brightly and children were playing on the sand. Instead she had the lonely cry of the gulls to keep her company on a blustery day.

Tray drove back to the city reviewing the business awaiting his attention. Maybe he hadn’t needed to seek out Lianne, but he’d wanted to see for himself that she was all right. Finding out she wasn’t had shaken him. She’d always seemed indestructible. He never remembered her sick before. These past two days had shown a vulnerability that startled him. And brought out protective instincts he hadn’t known he had. Meeting her sister had also been a surprise. She looked exactly like Lianne. At first, he’d thought his assistant had gotten married and planned to quit her job. He’d been relieved and intrigued to discover the twin connection. What other surprises would he discover if he hung around her longer?

The revelation that she might not be able to have children—and longed to have them—had been another. Not that they’d ever discussed lifelong dreams, but she was devoted to work. Of course she had a private life. She didn’t go into hibernation at night and reappear at the office the next morning. He felt he was seeing Lianne in three dimension for the first time.

Life was so unfair. He’d known that since he’d been a small boy bewildered when he learned of the death of his mother and his father’s abandonment. But it still astounded him sometimes.

Like now. Lianne wanted a baby so badly and had no one to make one with. While Suzanne had been pregnant with their child and ended its life.

CHAPTER TWO

LIANNE arrived at work early Thursday morning. She had her coffee in hand and was prioritizing her phone calls when Tray entered her small office and looked at her.

“I hoped you’d be back in today. How are you feeling?”

“Back to normal, thank you.” She felt awkward and embarrassed remembering him preparing her meals.

“Good. Mark’s meeting me for lunch. I thought the three of us could go together.”

“Today?” she asked, surprised Tray had acted so quickly in lining someone up. She half thought he’d been giving her lip service.

“No time like the present. Mark will be here at noon.” With that he disappeared down the hall.

The phone rang and Lianne’s day began.

As noon approached, Lianne grew more and more nervous. She’d never met anyone before with the deliberate intent of seeing if they could hit it off enough to get involved. How far would it go—to marriage? She thought when the right man came along she’d recognize him immediately and be swept off her feet. Now she felt like some of the man-hungry women she’d read about out for only a meal ticket. Only in her case it was a baby ticket. Was she wrong to try for a family? She would miss so much from life if she never had a child of her own.

She made a good income. She didn’t need a man to support her. But she did need a man if she wanted a baby before it was too late. One who would be a good father—and loving husband?

Tray and a tall man with sandy hair entered her office promptly at noon. She looked up and smiled at them both, feeling like an actress getting ready to go on stage who couldn’t remember her lines. The visitor smiled easily when Tray introduced him.

“Join us for lunch,” Tray said as if it wasn’t already planned.

“Thanks, I’d like to.” She pretended she didn’t see the surprised look Mark had given Tray. This was never going to work.

Lianne felt awkward at the lunch table. For one wild moment she considered refusing when Tray had issued the invitation, but her boss had gone to all this trouble for her, she had to hold up her end.

Soon, however, the awkwardness began to ease when Mark proved to be entertaining and personable. Probably needed to be for his job, she thought skeptically. She couldn’t help compare the two men. Tray was dark, quiet, intense. Mark had a sunnier disposition and seemed interested in her. Maybe they would hit it off.

When lunch was finished, Tray excused himself—to be available for an important phone call due from Europe.

“For the first time since I’ve known him, his timing is superb,” Mark said when Tray left.

“Oh?” Lianne asked.

“I was hoping I’d get a moment alone with you. I’d like to invite you to dinner, if you’re free.”

“I’d love to,” she replied. Had a script been written out, it couldn’t have gone better.

“Tonight?” Mark asked.

“Terrific,” she said, smiling. Her heart didn’t skip a beat. There was no sense of weightlessness or flutter of excitement. But Mark was entertaining and maybe feelings would develop. She couldn’t expect love at first sight. That was surely a fantasy in books.

Tray was in a meeting when she returned to work. She wanted to let him know about her dinner date, but couldn’t leave a message with his secretary. She hoped the cryptic note would clue him in.

The afternoon flew by. Tray stopped at her desk at one point, on his way to meet with some of the operatives.

“So?” he said, holding up the note she’d left.

“Date tonight,” she said.

He nodded and moved on. Lianne watched him walk away. She was disappointed he didn’t want to know more. He’d set it up, wasn’t he more curious? Sighing, she turned back to the analysis she was working on. He’d know soon enough if she and Mark would make a match of it.

Her phone rang.

“Lianne,” she answered, glancing at the time. Another hour or so and she’d take off.

“Hey, thought you were coming to see me when you got back from the cottage,” her sister said without preamble.

“It was late last night and I came to work early this morning.”

“Obviously. I called before but you were busy. You doing okay?” Annalise asked.

“I’m hanging in there, if that’s what you wanted to know.”

“Feeling okay?”

“Much better.” Lianne sighed softly. It was a day-by-day thing at the time of her period. The rest of the time her life seemed normal.

“I’ve been thinking what you need is a social life to find some man to fall for,” Annalise said.

“I’m ahead of you there, I have a date tonight.”

“Really, who with?”

“Tray introduced me to one of his friends.”

“Why would he do that?” Annalise asked.

“I told him about the situation.”

“He came to the cottage, didn’t he? I thought he might when he almost browbeat me into giving out where you were. Were you okay with that?”

“Yes, that was fine. He listened to my tale of woe and came up with this idea—meet his friend who used to be married and wants to be married again. Maybe we’ll hit it off. We all had lunch together today and Mark asked me to dinner tonight.” She didn’t tell Annalise about Tray’s help for two days. Her sister would jump to erroneous conclusions.

“Fast worker. How are you feeling about that?”

“He seems nice.”

“Yuck, the kiss of death. No one wants to be nice. If he’s only nice, he’s not for you.”

Lianne laughed. “Don’t be silly. Of course I want a nice man for a husband. What—do you think I should have someone not nice?”

“How would you describe your boss?”

Lianne went still for a moment. “Why?”

“I figured you would fall for someone like him. You and I are alike and he’s the closest man to Dominic I know.”

“He’s nothing like your husband.”

“Maybe not superficially, but they both have that rock-hard center, they know their way around the world and give me the feeling of being able to take on anything—and come out the winner.”

Lianne nodded, then realized her sister couldn’t see her. “I guess. But I’m definitely not his type. His latest girlfriend could be a super model. Thin, beautiful and sophisticated.”

“You’re pretty and sophisticated,” Annalise said.

Lianne laughed. “I noticed you left out the thin part. But I’m not in her league, not that I want to be. Tray’s not for me. Anyway, I’ll let you know more about Mark after dinner tonight. Gotta go.” She hung up and returned to her task. Her and Tray? Where did Annalise come up with such an idea? She would not give that a moment’s thought. They were work colleagues—nothing more.

It was after eleven by the time Lianne returned home. Dinner had been at one of the “in” restaurants in Washington. Even on a Thursday evening it had been crowded. Mark had reserved a table so there’d been no wait. Lianne wondered how he’d managed that.

She kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen. Putting the kettle on, she got tea from the cupboard. A cup of chamomile would help her relax. She yawned, feeling her cheek muscles protest. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled so much. Be polite, she could hear her mother’s voice echoing throughout the night.

The phone rang. She went to answer, noticing the flashing light on her answering machine.

“So how did it go?” Tray asked when she answered.

Lianne was surprised to hear from him. Annalise she expected.

“All right.”

“Only all right?”

“He’s nice.”

“But?”

“Does there have to be a but?” she asked, stalling. Mark was Tray’s friend.

“Yes, with that lead-in, there does.”

She hesitated a moment. It would serve no purpose to delay, time wouldn’t change anything. “He’s nice and still hung up on his ex-wife. If I had to listen to another word about how he’d screwed up and how she’d been an angel only he hadn’t seen it in time, I thought I would scream.”

“The man has rocks for brains,” Tray said. “Did he talk about her all night?”

“No. That’s what is sort of sad. He’d talk about something, then end up talking about her. Once he’d realize he was doing that, he’d stop and try another topic, segueing back to his ex. I think he really wants to be over her, but he’s not.”

“Are you seeing him again?”

“No.”

The silence stretched out for several seconds.

“Maybe I know someone else,” Tray said slowly.

“Forget it. Annalise knows some men she says are right up my alley. I’ll see how I get along with them. It’s my own fault. I love my job, you know that. I still should have done more about a social life before now.”

“This was only the first day of your campaign.”

“You make it sound like a war strategy.” It wasn’t at all like she hoped. She pictured herself as happy as her twin when she fell in love. Now the entire thing sounded analytical and deliberate. Where was the happiness in all this? Was the price of a baby going to be too high?

“It is a kind of strategy. You need to find the right match.”

“Mmm. It’s early, I know, but what if I don’t find someone I can even think of going to bed with?”

“Was that the real problem with Mark?”

She thought about it a moment. “Yes. No matter what, I couldn’t see myself getting intimate with the man.”

“It was a first date,” Tray said.

“I don’t think that would change.”

“You’ll find someone. Let me know how your sister’s friends work out. I have another couple of friends who are still single.”

“Maybe they want to stay single like you,” she said.

“You think I won’t marry?”

“Tray, you’re thirty-six years old and haven’t come close to getting married yet. You date some of the world’s most beautiful women. I think you’re hard to please. And you have to admit, you spend a lot of time at work. Relationships take time to build and maintain.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want a family—someday.”

Lianne heard the kettle whistling. She walked into the kitchen and turned off the gas. “Do you think there are several people in the world a person could be equally happy with?”

“Maybe.”

“I mean that one man for one woman sounds awfully chancy. What if they pass each other by? Would neither ever find happiness?” Lianne asked wistfully.

“You’re getting too philosophical for tonight. Go to sleep and tomorrow see what your sister turns up.”

Lianne fixed her tea and went to the living room. Turning off the lights, she opened her drapes and gazed out over the lights of Washington. Sipping the warm beverage she thought about her evening. The highlight had been the conversation with Tray. What did that say about her chances of finding Mr. Right?

How odd her sister thought she should be on the lookout for someone like Tray. He was handsome in a very sexy way, if she let herself think about it. Mostly she considered him her boss. And she’d decided early in her tenure with Protection, Inc. not to become involved with a fellow employee. She’d heard of office romances gone bad. Her job had been too important to her to risk it.

For a moment she wondered what it’d be like to be romanced by Tray. Fleeting, at best. He had a different girlfriend every few months. She’d rather spend hours each week working with him, than be one in a long line of dates.