Mission: Soldier to Daddy

But right now he had a chance, and he wasn’t going to walk away again without trying. All his life he’d been told he wasn’t good enough, had grown up thinking he didn’t deserve a family, that there was a reason he’d been left, that the way he’d been treated in foster care was normal. But he had a chance now to right the wrongs he’d made, to give his son the kind of home he’d wanted so bad as a kid, and to make things right with his wife. To stop being afraid of what if and live in the now.

All he needed to do was figure out how.

Ollie kept her hands busy with dinner and her ears on Luke. It wasn’t an easy conversation to be having, she’d give him that, but he owed it to Charlie to be straight with him. And if Luke hadn’t told him, then it would have been left to her—again.

“I know I said I wouldn’t leave you, bud, but it’s, well, it’s tricky.”

Charlie was pouting. He didn’t throw tantrums often, but she was starting to think this could turn into one.

“But you said,” he whined.

Now Ollie was sure they were moving into meltdown territory.

“Okay, I’ll make you a promise,” she heard Luke say.

Charlie jumped to attention then, his frown disappearing, but Ollie had one hover across her lips instead. The last thing she needed was to deal with a broken promise. She bit down on her lip, determined not to interfere.

“I promise that I’ll tell you where I’m going and for how long, if I go away. And I’ll phone you while I’m gone,” Luke said.

Ollie pretended to toss the salad, and tried hard to keep her eyes down. Could he keep that promise?

“Really?” Charlie asked.

“Yep, really.” Luke smiled and extended his hand. “Shake and it becomes a real promise. A man’s promise.”

Olivia dropped the serving spoon by mistake. A man’s promise? She didn’t know whether she should be hoping he’d be able to keep it, or annoyed that he’d even made it.

She turned to see Charlie slowly put his hand into his father’s. Trusting. Trusting that he could believe in the big promise his father had just made him.

“See these soldiers?” asked Luke, holding them up for his son to see.

Charlie nodded.

“This one here is a sergeant.” He reached out and placed it in his hand. “This fellow here, well, he’s a private.”

“What are you, Daddy?” Charlie’s question made Ollie’s breath catch in her throat.

“Well, son, I’m a lieutenant colonel, and that means I have to lead my men, to make sure that people like you and Mommy back here are safe. We have to go on special operations.”

Charlie had started out listening to his dad, but now he was walking the soldier figurines around the carpet. But Olivia was listening. How could she not? Because no matter what had happened between them, she was incredibly proud of Luke’s career.

Luke knew Ollie was watching. He’d known all along that she was listening, but he didn’t mind. Part of this promise was about showing her that he was serious about being a dad, but it was a hell of a lot easier to talk to Charlie than to her. Most of all, he just wanted to be honest, and talking didn’t come easy to him.

His men had always trusted him with their lives, but he knew that earning Olivia’s trust would be hard. And he still hadn’t told her the truth about where he’d been and what he had been doing. That he was part of a Special Forces task force, that he’d been immersed in another culture most of the time he’d been away. That he’d never been so terrified in his life, and that when he’d almost died, had come so close to becoming a casualty, all he’d thought of was her.

Luke left Charlie to his playing and joined Ollie in the kitchen. If he was serious about them giving this a real go, then he needed to make an effort. A big effort.

“So, uh, how are you feeling about last night?” Luke cringed at his words. Idiot. Not quite how he’d planned on saying it. Ollie’s face now flushed a deep pink and he looked down at his feet. He never had been very good at this whole talking business.

He looked up and found her fussing with the food she was making, maybe finding this as awkward as he was.

“What’s for dinner?” he asked next.

That at least elicited a smile in his direction.

“Oh, just lasagna with a salad. Nothing much.”

“Just lasagna? Sounds like more than nothing to me.”

“I’ve made dessert, too. Charlie’s favorite.”

Luke hated that he didn’t know what his son liked to eat.

“Chocolate cake,” Ollie said, as if knowing that he was floundering. “Slathered with icing and with a little ice cream on the side.”

“Sounds like we have the same favorites.”

They looked at one another. Luke couldn’t drop his gaze. There was something there, he knew it, something that hadn’t disappeared despite the time that had passed, despite the way things had ended between them. Olivia looked away first, but Luke couldn’t. He kept watching her, wishing that he was one for talking, about his feelings, about what he wanted.

But last night he had, and now he had to prove himself to her, and as easy as it would be to run, to go back to the army, he was going to try his hardest. Not just for Charlie, but because of Olivia. His wife. No more excuses. This time he was going to prove himself and make her believe in him again, and he wasn’t going to let her down.

Because maybe he did deserve it. Maybe he wasn’t destined to fail at being a husband and a dad.

Maybe, just maybe, he could be successful at more than just being a soldier. And maybe he’d come home for Olivia as much as he’d come home for his son.

CHAPTER FIVE

THE COOL WIND made the tiny hairs on Olivia’s arm rise in protest, but she ignored it. All she could think about was Luke, and no matter how hard she tried not to, it was impossible. Every month he’d been away she’d thought about him, so why had she expected it would be different, having him home? Perhaps without Charlie as a constant reminder, it might have been.

Olivia looked up as she reached her employer’s apartment. It was weird arriving on her own, when for almost a year she’d made the walk with a little hand tucked into her own.

“Hello,” she called as she let herself in, just in case Ricardo was home.

She was greeted by silence. Olivia shrugged off her coat and walked into the kitchen, dropping her belongings on the counter. The place was immaculate as usual, just like she’d left it, as if he hadn’t even been home since the last time she’d visited.

Olivia crossed the room, heading for the fridge. She paused to read the note on the counter beside it: “I’d love that homemade pasta sauce for dinner tonight, darling! R.”

Fresh pasta and her tomato and basil sauce. Perfect. Now she could just ponder her thoughts and prepare dinner, on autopilot.

And try again to stop thinking about Luke.

Luke stood at ease as he watched Charlie run around the playground. His son had zoomed down the slide over and over, and was now making a beeline for the jungle gym.

“Come on, Dad.” Charlie waved excitedly for him to follow.

There were plenty of kids around, all doing their own thing, accompanied by their nannies or moms. Luke was the odd man out, but he didn’t care. So long as no one realized he had no idea what he was doing, he’d be fine.

“Daddy! Daddy, look!”

Luke looked up in time to see Charlie hanging upside down, showing all his teeth he was smiling so hard. Luke gulped. This looked like a rescue mission to him.

“Stay still, bud. I’ll get you.” He gritted his teeth and jogged forward.

“Look, look! I’m upside down.”

Luke was looking, just not with the enthusiasm his son seemed to expect. How the hell had Charlie managed to scramble so high? Did Olivia let him do this sort of thing, or was he supposed to stop him?

A manual. He definitely needed a manual.

Charlie wriggled back onto the bars, still grinning, then landed with a thud on both feet.

“What next?”

“As in where are we going next?” Luke asked. Was there somewhere else they were supposed to be going?

“No! What do we play on next?”

A noise from behind him made Luke turn.

“Hi there.” The voice belonged to a pretty brunette.

“Uh, hi.”

“I just wondered if you were new to the area? We haven’t seen you here before.”

Luke followed her nod, and saw that two other young moms were watching them.

“Yeah, new,” he said. “Well, I lived near here for a while before I shipped out.”

“So you’re a soldier?” she asked.

Luke was flattered by the seduction in her voice, but he wasn’t interested. And he wasn’t exactly sure how to make that clear to her. “Yes, ma’am. Just arrived back from offshore.”

She turned around and smiled at her friends. Luke took his chance to change the subject. He reached for Charlie’s hand. His marriage might not be in the best shape right now, but his problems at being a husband had nothing to do with infidelity.

“I’m running a bit late to see my wife, so we’d best be off. Nice to meet you,” he said.

The woman looked disappointed, but she didn’t give up. “I’m Lisa.” She thrust out her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Lisa,” he said firmly. “Have a nice day.”

Luke saw her frown before he turned, but he didn’t care. A hand tugging his reminded him that he wasn’t alone, and that he had better things to worry about than hurting a stranger’s feelings. Especially one as forward as this woman.

“Who was that?” asked Charlie.

“Nobody we’ll ever see again,” said Luke, ruffling his boy’s hair. “You want to have a go on the slide again before we leave?”

“Then we’ll go see Mom?”

Of course. Charlie had heard him say they were off to see Olivia, so he thought that was where they were going.

“I don’t actually know where she works,” Luke admitted.

“I do!” shouted Charlie, taking him by surprise. “Let’s go.”

Luke had no choice but to comply, and he wasn’t complaining. Being dragged around by an almost four-year-old had its benefits, and being lost in the moment was one of them.

Despite trusting that Charlie actually did have a sense of direction, and letting go of his own desire to be in charge, Luke wasn’t feeling all that sure when his boy confidently announced they had arrived at their destination.

“You sure?” He felt silly questioning a kid, but he had no idea if they were at the right apartment or not, and he didn’t even have his wife’s cell phone number to call her and ask.

Charlie nodded and reached on tiptoes to push the buzzer.

Just when Luke was ready to call off the idea, Olivia’s clear voice rang out through the intercom.

“Bolton residence, who is it?”

Luke swallowed. “Olivia?”

“Mom, it’s me! Let us up!”

That solved the problem of explaining why they were there.

“Hey, honey, come on up.”

Luke followed, starting to get used to the idea of being the one who did as he was told, rather than the other way around. Perhaps his son was destined to follow in his footsteps. The idea put a smile on his face as they walked up.

Charlie bounded on ahead and, breathless, jumped into the elevator. “You just push the button and it takes you to the right floor,” he explained.

“Righto.” Luke nodded.

Seconds later the doors swished open and they stepped into an apartment like he’d never seen before. Wow. The guy clearly had plenty of money.

Jealously made Luke grimace, but he shrugged it away. Perhaps if he knew the man wasn’t actually interested in Olivia he’d feel differently.

“Hi, sweetheart!” Ollie enveloped Charlie in her arms and kissed his head. “What are you two doing here?”

She directed that question at Luke, and he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets, feeling uncomfortable. He didn’t like being in another man’s house, especially when he wasn’t exactly sure how to explain himself.

“We were at the park and Charlie decided he wanted to see you,” Luke told her. “I hope we haven’t interrupted.”

Charlie hung on to his mom’s leg, too preoccupied to chime in and tell her that they were here because Luke had told a strange woman at the park that’s where they were heading.

“Nice place your boss has,” he said.

Olivia smiled and turned back to the kitchen, Charlie trailing after her. “It’s not exactly a bad place to work,” she said over her shoulder. “Do you two want lunch?”

Charlie was already nodding, and Luke just smiled when she turned around to face them.

“How about you both sit down and I’ll whip something up,” she said.

Luke walked around the living room, his eyes picking up on all the things around him. Photos lining one side-piece, the odd painting, plus a few stacks of magazines and a couple of pricey-looking artifacts. Nothing over the top, but everything in the room looked expensive.

He stopped at the cluster of photographs and squinted, not liking what he saw. A handsome, dark-haired man was smiling back at him, his arm slung around a woman. He was in most of the shots, and it didn’t take a genius to work out that the man was the owner of the place.

“Is this your boss?” Luke asked.

Olivia hardly even looked up. “You mean the one with the pretty blonde? That’s Ricardo with his sister.”

Luke couldn’t help the tight clench of his jaw. She obviously knew the photos intimately and he hated it. He could only hope that she was so familiar with them because she dusted around them regularly, not because she liked looking at her boss.

Jealousy wasn’t an emotion Luke was familiar with, and he wasn’t liking it at all.

“Lunch is ready.”

He forced a smile and walked to the counter, trying to ignore the soft sway of his wife’s hips, the way she smiled as their son ate his crusts, and the shine in her eye when she laughed. Olivia might be Luke’s wife, but he had no right to be jealous of the people she knew, or who was in her life right now. But seeing her boss, acknowledging his jealousy toward him, was only making Luke want to fight all the more for what he’d lost.

Olivia was struggling not to smile as she finished her work. Charlie often came with her while she was here, but he usually played with his toys or pestered her about what he could do and when they’d be leaving. It was different having Luke here with him.

He’d taken Charlie out for a walk, then come back to wait for her. The two of them were hanging out on the sofa, Charlie tucked into the crook of Luke’s arm, yabbering away. And now that she’d finished dinner for tonight and tomorrow, she was ready to go.

“Mommy, can we take Dad to the ice cream shop?”

Olivia laughed. It seemed that Charlie thought his dad was a playmate rather than a grown-up.

“Sure,” she called out. “Just let me rinse this cloth out and we’re out of here.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

Olivia drew in a deep breath. Luke was watching her, his eyes trained on hers. Too close for her not to feel jittery. “Uh, no, I’m just about done.”

He nodded. “Okay, I’ll tidy up the cushions on the sofa and get Charlie’s sweater on.”

Now it was Olivia who was nodding. She didn’t trust her voice. When Luke was at a distance, with Charlie, anywhere so that she was the one observing him rather than being up close and personal, she was fine. Close range turned her into a ball of knots.

She took one last look around, flicked the light switch and walked toward her son. “Let’s go.”

They stepped into the elevator and Olivia found it hard to breathe. Being with Luke like this, as if nothing was wrong, as if they’d always been this way, was making her uncomfortable. Because it felt as if they were living a temporary lie. With lies always came hurt, and she knew she had more of that coming, by the bucket load.

As they walked out onto the sidewalk, side by side with Charlie in the middle, Olivia couldn’t help thinking how normal they must look to passersby. A mommy and daddy out for a nice afternoon with their child, without any hint of their dysfunctional reality.

“Swing me!” demanded Charlie.

That made Olivia smile. He always wanted to be swung, but she rarely had another adult with her to do it.

“Come on, then,” she agreed.

Charlie held up both hands. She grasped one, then looked over at Luke. He appeared confused.

“We have to each hold one hand, then swing him forward as we walk,” she explained.

Luke did as he was told, but Olivia could see from the look on his face that he had no idea what it was all about. She guessed he’d never had anyone swing him as a kid.

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