On the Doorstep

Marcus and Carol Young were her parents, and that was that. She’d had the most perfect childhood a person could ever ask for, and she never would have betrayed their memory by digging up the past. Unfortunately, that past had resurfaced without any help from her.

“I just hope baby Gabriel’s okay.”

Pilar might as well have slugged Kelly, as effectively as her words knocked the wind out of her. How could she have only been thinking about their agency and her personal mess when that baby had lost his mother that morning?

She concentrated on Pilar, who was staring out the office window toward Main Street, though from that seated position she couldn’t have seen anything outside. For someone with olive skin, she appeared pale. She gripped and ungripped her hands.

“You’re more than a little shaken, aren’t you?”

At least Pilar didn’t bother to deny it this time. The corners of her mouth turned up in what could barely be called a smile.

Kelly reached across the desk and squeezed both of her hands. “He’ll be fine. How can he not be? He was already fortunate enough to have been left on the steps for an early riser like you.”

Pulling her hands away, Pilar rubbed her upper arms as if she’d become chilled. “I just can’t stop imagining what might have happened to him if I hadn’t gotten there. If he’d been out there, exposed to the elements, where just anyone could have taken him.”

“But it didn’t happen that way. He’s safe now and in capable hands. Detective Fletcher will have the case under control in no time.”

Pilar stiffened, her hands becoming still on her arms. After several seconds, she glanced across the desk, her expression too casual. “You think so?”

Kelly thought something, all right. She’d had a fleeting suspicion earlier, but now she was convinced. Why had Pilar been wearing Zach’s jacket in the first place? And why had she been uncomfortable returning it with Kelly there?

“He’s a great detective.” Still, she couldn’t resist adding, “He’ll probably need to ask you more questions about the case, though.”

“Oh.”

Oh was right. Biting her lip, Kelly managed not to laugh. In the whole time Pilar had worked at Tiny Blessings, she’d gone on maybe a handful of dates, and it was a pretty empty hand at that. She was pleased to realize her friend wasn’t immune to the handsome Detective Fletcher.

As immediately after work as she could without leaving before five or speeding, Pilar arrived at the door of the downtown tri-level that felt as comfortable to her as her parents’ home.

The warmth that poured out of the place the moment Naomi Fraser opened the glass storm door made Pilar smile. Naomi’s vivid blue eyes glistened in the late-afternoon sun as she nabbed Pilar for a not-so-quick hug against her pillow-soft body.

“You sure made it here fast.”

“Traffic was good,” Pilar managed to get out, still enclosed in that warm embrace. If there had been traffic tie-ups she might have been tempted to drive on the sidewalk, but Pilar didn’t tell the minister’s wife that.

Naomi let go in her own sweet time and took a step back as if to appraise her guest. She shook her head, her no-nonsense short haircut fluttering and falling back into place, and gave Pilar one more squeeze for good measure.

That Naomi always hugged like she meant it was one of the things Pilar adored about the woman she’d known since her days on the church’s infant cradle roll. There were plenty of other reasons to like someone who wore pearls with blue jeans and never sugarcoated the truth, but Pilar liked the hugs best. And it was a well-known fact that one of the best advertisements Reverend John Fraser had for his church was his redheaded darling of a wife.

“Good traffic is a blessing, and so are babies.” Naomi’s eyes danced with excitement as she led Pilar to the dark-paneled family room and gestured toward the portable crib in the corner. “You were right—he’s a baby doll.”

Her pulse racing, Pilar could barely restrain herself from sprinting over to the crib, grabbing Gabriel and holding him against her heart. She forced herself to slow down by studying the Frasers’ clean but lived-in house. The stacks of books, Bibles and crossword puzzle magazines, so different from her mother’s immaculate home, made the room seem as relaxed as the family itself.

Proud of herself for her control, Pilar finally was close enough to peek over the edge of the crib’s mesh side. Gabriel lay there on his back, with one arm he’d freed from his swaddling blanket pressed against his jaw. Until her lungs started aching, Pilar didn’t even realize she’d been holding her breath. She exhaled it slowly.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Naomi asked.

And alone, she wanted to add, but she only nodded. When she couldn’t resist any longer, she reached over the side of the crib to brush his damp hair. He slept so soundly that he didn’t move, except for the even rise and fall of his chest.

Naomi stepped close and whispered, “He’s been sleeping like that almost since he got here. Those doctors probably wore him out.”

“They said he was all right, didn’t they?” Her question sounded too sharp in her ears.

“Of course,” Naomi said, though she studied her for a few seconds. “He’s a perfectly healthy baby boy. And really new, too—no more than a few days.”

“I still can’t believe Gabriel ended up here. I was so surprised when you mentioned it on the phone earlier.”

“It shouldn’t surprise you too much,” Reverend Fraser said as he crossed from the kitchen back to his study, a handful of chocolate chip cookies in his grip. His wire-rim glasses were perched on his nose like always, but he wasn’t wearing his clerical collar.

“We’ve been licensed foster parents almost ten years now. Somebody’s always coming or going through that door.”

He pointed to the mantel and to the wall collages where photographs of John and Naomi’s two adult children, Jonah and Dinah, and teenage daughter, Ruth, shared space with pictures of at least thirty other children.

“But not—” Pilar stopped herself before saying “my baby,” but just barely. “Not the baby I found.”

The minister’s dark brown eyes peered at her over the tops of his glasses before he smiled.

“You’re right. He is a rare one.”

Patting Pilar’s shoulder as he passed, he stopped at the side of the crib. “Now that’s a fine-looking fellow if I ever saw one.” With a wave he slipped into his study, leaving the door open a crack.

“Mom, do I get to hold the new baby before practice?” Sixteen-year-old Ruth Fraser chased her question into the room in a blur of bright copper hair and red-and-black pom-poms. When she noticed Pilar there, she gave the same electric smile she must have offered the judges for her competitive cheerleading competitions.

“Hey, Pilar. Did I hear you found Gabriel in a cabbage patch?”

Pilar grinned at the brown-eyed, freckled teen who shared her mother’s exuberance. “No, on a doorstep. He stayed a lot cleaner that way.”

As if he recognized he was center of discussion, Gabriel started grunting and wiggling in his blanket. His eyes popped open. Naomi bent to lift him from the crib and rested him against her shoulder. Ruth held out her arms, pom-poms dangling from her hands, but Naomi waved her off.

“You’ve got about ten minutes to pick up your room before practice. You’ll have plenty of time to hold him later, after prayer meeting.” Naomi winked at her daughter. “Since Gabriel’s going to be up all night, you can have the three o’clock shift.”

“Gee, thanks, Mom.” She frowned and then grinned.

“Didn’t Dinah volunteer for the night shift?”

“Eeeee. Wrong answer. Your sister won’t even get off work at the grocery store until eleven, and she might get called to substitute teach in the morning.”

“She gets all the breaks.”

“I’ll be sure to tell her that,” Naomi said brightly.

“Now, are you going? Your room isn’t getting any cleaner while we’re chatting.”

Ruth tilted her head to the side. “Can I take the minivan?”

“If you remember to put gas in it this time,” Reverend Fraser called from the other room.

“I’ll try, Dad.”

“Don’t try. Succeed.” He closed the door, probably to finish his Sunday sermon.

“See you at church,” Ruth called as she jogged to the kitchen for the car keys. “Don’t forget to pick up Tori from play practice.”

“I won’t forget.” At Pilar’s questioning look, Naomi explained. “Victoria St. Claire. You’ve probably seen her one of these past few Sundays. She’s been here about a month. She’s fourteen and about as boy-crazy as Ruth.”

“Is that possible?” Pilar chuckled, having heard stories about Ruth’s antics before.

The laughter died in her throat the moment that Naomi lowered Gabriel into Pilar’s arms. Emotion lodged in her throat instead, heavy and full.

“Hey, little one, you remember Pilar, don’t you?” Naomi spoke in a singsongy voice as she brushed a finger down the baby’s forehead. “You two are old friends.”

Pilar’s heart squeezed as she cradled the sleep-warmed body. All day at work her thoughts had been like a game of keep-away, jumping from Gabriel to Zach to her upcoming surgery and back to Zach, but she couldn’t catch them and subdue them so she could get some work done.

The unsettled feeling she’d been battling, though, evaporated as soon as she inhaled Gabriel’s fresh baby scent. Holding him felt so natural, as if he belonged there, close enough to her heart to hear its calming rhythm. For several seconds, the baby simply stared up at her.

“He likes you,” Naomi observed. “We’ll probably have him here for a while, so feel free to visit him whenever you like. I’m sure he would enjoy some spoiling.”

Whenever she liked? “I’ll do that.”

The baby started wiggling and smacking his lips, so Pilar propped him against her shoulder and walked around the room. “Do you want me to give him a bottle?”

“Sure, just a minute. I’ll warm one up.”

As soon as Naomi disappeared into the kitchen, the doorbell rang. Naomi’s voice could be heard from the other room. “Ruth, could you—”

“I’ll get it,” Ruth called as she tromped down the stairs. Muffled voices filtered from the entry and then stopped.

“Bye, Mom and Dad.” The door closed again.

In the silence that filled the family room, Pilar focused on little Gabriel alone. “You’re going to be just fine, sweetheart,” she said softly. “Dinner’s on the way. You don’t have to be cold here, or hungry or lonely. You’ll be happy here until we find you a new home.”

She stopped crooning to him just as Naomi came down the hall.

The veteran mom tested the formula’s temperature on the inside of her forearm as she approached. “Who was at the door?”

“Ruth never said. Must have been a salesman or something.” She reached for the bottle Naomi had been extending, but Naomi suddenly pulled back.

“Hi.” She spoke to someone over Pilar’s shoulder. “If I’d known there was going to be a party, I would have put on a pot of chili and some hot dogs.”

Pilar expected to hear laughter from the reverend or one of their children, since Naomi was a notoriously bad cook whose chili had a reputation all its own. But the sound that skittered up Pilar’s back and rolled over her shoulder in baritone richness hadn’t come from anyone living in the Fraser household.

“Don’t go to any trouble cooking on my account.”

Pilar whirled to find Zach leaning against the doorway, his arms folded and his ankles crossed as if he’d been there for a while. Her mouth went dry, and her cheeks burned. Just how long had he been watching? What had he overheard? And why had he been listening anyway?

“Just thought I’d drop by for a few minutes,” Zach said to Naomi, never taking his eyes off Pilar. His smile was slow and deliberate. He’d caught her, and they both knew it. So often Pilar had dreamed of having Zach stare at her, and now she only felt trapped by his study.

Handing the bottle to Pilar, Naomi marched over to Zach and gave him the hug treatment. Apparently, she’d missed whatever had passed between the other two adults.

“What were you doing sneaking in on us like that?” Naomi asked as she released him.

“I didn’t sneak. Ruth let me in,” he said, still looking at Naomi’s other guests.

Pilar popped the bottle between the baby’s lips, and he went to work on it, a good portion of the formula dripping down his chin. She didn’t want Zach to witness her inexperience in caring for a child, yet she sensed his gaze on her.

“We’ll have to work on our daughter’s manners,” Naomi was saying. “I’m surprised she didn’t stay to visit.”

Zach grinned. Ruth’s crush on him had hardly been a secret, and though he’d done nothing to encourage it, he’d always been kind to the teen.

“You didn’t say you’d be coming by.” Naomi had a strange expression on her face when Zach finally turned to face her.

“Oh, I was talking to the reverend earlier, and he told me the infant Doe has come to stay. I wanted to drop by to see how he’s getting along.”

“He’s doing great,” Pilar answered, finding her voice for the first time since seeing Zach.

“That’s good. I’ve got some solid leads. I’ve got a good feeling about this investigation. I’m going to find his mother.”

Zach glanced down at the baby for a few seconds before meeting Pilar’s gaze again. “It’s good to see you here, too. I wanted to ask you a few more questions.”

Naomi stepped forward then, reaching for the baby. Already he’d drunk down most of the four-ounce bottle.

“Here, let me take Gabriel up for a burp and a change. You two sit on the couch so Zach can ask his questions. When I get back down, I’ll let Zach hold Gabriel.” Wearing a Cheshire-cat smile, she didn’t wait for an answer before moving toward the stairs.

Pilar sat opposite Zach, pushing her back against the sofa arm. If only the piece of furniture could grow longer so she could move farther away from his intense stare. She could remember final exams in college where she’d been far less nervous than at this moment. Why did he keep staring at her as if she was a criminal?

She cleared her throat. “You said you want to ask me some questions.”

“I do.”

But he didn’t. He just continued to watch her until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Did you come to use strange interrogation tactics on me? Because I’ve already told you everything I know.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Everything?”

Annoyance filled her chest. And to think she’d once been very interested in this man! She’d liked him a lot better when he was a stranger. “Yes, everything.”

When he still didn’t say anything, Pilar had had enough. “If you’re not going to ask a question, then I am. What are you doing here, Zach?”

“I was wondering the same thing about you.”

“Well, I’m here to check on Gabriel. You heard me say earlier that I was going to visit the hospital. Well, the doctors discharged him. He was placed with the Frasers, and I just wanted to make sure he’s all right.”

Zach tucked his chin between his index finger and thumb, contemplating her answer. “Sounds reasonable. I already told you I was here to check on the baby, too.”

“Then are we done? Have you asked all your questions?”

He shook his head. “Just one more.”

She waited, bearing his scrutiny for a few seconds longer. Why did it feel as if all the walls she’d built to mask her heart’s secret longings were only transparent screens to him? That though they were nearly strangers, he knew her better than almost anyone.

“Tell me this. What’s the connection between you and that baby?”

Chapter Four

“What do you mean, what’s my connection?” Pilar asked, her eyes wide.

She was pressed so hard against the sofa arm that Zach wondered if she planned to escape over the top. He trapped her with his gaze in the way he’d learned to make lesser suspects squirm.

“That’s what I’m asking. You probably place babies all the time. Do you get this attached to all of them? Or is there something different about this baby?”

When she didn’t answer immediately, he continued to stare. Strange, but he hoped for Pilar’s sake that she didn’t have that same intense connection with each child she placed, because he didn’t like the idea of her heart breaking all the time. But then he hadn’t done a good job of keeping his professional distance in this case, either.

He couldn’t say he’d been soft on questioning Pilar. In fact, he was grateful Naomi hadn’t held him under the same level of scrutiny when she’d asked why he’d visited that day. Sure he’d come to see Gabriel, but he was beginning to wonder if the possibility of seeing Pilar again had also played into his decision.

It had certainly been for her benefit that he’d talked up the investigation when he still didn’t know if any of his “solid leads” would pan out. He didn’t know why it mattered so much to him that she thought he was a good detective. He’d never worried before what anyone thought as long as he was doing his best to help people. It was a good policy, and he would do well to stick to it instead of trying to impress anyone.

But this was about more than impressing. It was about curiosity, and everyone knew what that did to the cat. Pilar had become such a puzzle to him, full of challenging, interlocking pieces, when before he’d barely noticed her. Or at least when he had noticed, he’d taken in her flawless beauty and too-perfect background and had kept his distance.

“Gabriel’s different,” she answered finally.

“How is he different?”

Pilar blew out an exasperated breath. “I found him. He’s—”

She cut herself off then, but that only made Zach want to know more. Had she nearly said “mine”? That didn’t make any sense, though it did take finders-keepers to a whole new level. “He’s what?”

“He’s just a sweet little baby who could use all the friends he could get.”

He nodded. That was true enough, but if it was what she’d intended to say, then why hadn’t she looked at him when she’d said it? Her posture was stiff, and her closed body language signaled she wasn’t telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help her God. She was still hiding something.

Twice now he’d witnessed private moments between Pilar and the infant she should have met only that morning—first on the agency steps and now in the Frasers’ family room. There was a connection, all right, but what?

Could Pilar have been a friend of Gabriel’s biological mother and was covering for her? Zach pondered the premise that would have explained why she was reluctant to help with the investigation, but he couldn’t buy it. As a Tiny Blessings employee, she would have encouraged the mother to give the child up for adoption, or at the very least would have discouraged her from breaking the law.

His gut told him Pilar’s reasons were much more personal. That he could relate to. Everyone had a right to a few secrets—those personal parts that no one needed to know and that only reopened old wounds in the retelling. Did Pilar have wounds she needed to protect?

Immediately, he was contrite for the high-pressure interview tactic. Though Gabriel had more to complain about, Pilar had been through a rough day. He’d seen her that morning, had witnessed her shock and even had wrapped his jacket around her. The last thing she needed was some overzealous detective shoving her around for new leads.

“Is this the first time you’ve dealt with a child-abandonment case?” he asked, though he’d already guessed that it was.

She nodded. “I work with people who would give everything they have to have a child of their own. None of them would ever dump a baby, in a fancy basket or not.”

He’d been right: It was personal. How could he, of anyone, criticize someone who took her job and the people it affected personally? That would be like smashing the image of the person he saw in the mirror every morning.

“Do you have a long waiting list of people hoping to adopt?”

Pilar tilted her head to study him, appearing to recognize that his question had no bearing on the case.

“We have more homes than we have children to fill them. Especially for clients who want babies. The waiting list for a newborn is often three years deep.”

Zach couldn’t imagine what that was like, the bureaucracy and the waiting and hoping for a child that most couples assumed would be the natural next step in their relationships. Life had no guarantees; he’d learned that the hard way. Apparently, Pilar’s clients had swallowed their own bitter pills.

When he looked up again, Pilar was studying him.

“Are you finished asking questions?”

“Sure. For now.”

As finished as he could be given that she hadn’t really answered the important one. She’d never explained her connection to the foundling.

She nodded but didn’t look him in the eye. “Well, if there’s nothing else, I need to get going.”

Pushing herself over the arm of the sofa, she stood as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He was used to women’s attention, had even learned to ignore it most of the time, so he wondered why her pariah treatment bothered him so much.

Zach hesitated, which was about as unlike him as letting himself be distracted when he was on a case. He should have been telling her not to let the door slam when she left, but here he was hoping to keep her around a few minutes longer so he could prove he wasn’t a bad guy. How pitiful was that?

Naomi’s louder-than-necessary footsteps on the stairs saved him from a thorough self-lecture. He stood in time to see her reentering the room, carrying a clean and content baby.

“Pilar, you’re not leaving, are you? I thought you were staying so we could go to prayer meeting together.”

“I was, but…” Pilar paused and cleared her throat “…I’ve decided to meet you there.”

Naomi turned to Zach. “You’ll be there, won’t you?”

“Not this time, sweetheart.”

Naomi stuck out her lip. “But even police detectives get time off for Wednesday night prayer meeting.”

“I’ll have plenty of time off when Gabriel’s mother has been located.” He looked at Pilar to let her know that the message was for her. No matter what she was hiding or how badly he felt for her for having made this difficult discovery, he still had a job to do. With or without her help, he was going to solve this case.

Pilar made a show of studying her watch, but he was pretty sure she’d received the message.

Naomi cleared her throat. “At least let me get you some dinner.” She turned back to Pilar. “You, too. It won’t take me a minute to whip up a big pot of chili.”

“That’s okay,” Zach and Pilar chorused and then shot glances at each other.

She was chewing her lower lip to keep from laughing, so he spoke for the both of them. “Thank you for the offer, but can we take a rain check?”

Naomi’s sly grin suggested she was as aware as anyone of her cooking weakness. “Okay, it’s a date. The kids will love having the both of you to dinner.”

Date? He started. Why did he feel as if he’d just been swindled? He opened his mouth to object and caught Pilar’s profile in his peripheral vision. Her mouth was open to say something, too.

Their minister’s wife stopped the both of them with a wave of her hand. “I’ll let you know when. I’ll see you out now.”

Only a few minutes later, he was buckling the seat belt of his sedan and wondering at how easily Naomi had dismissed them. It was probably for the best, he thought, as he watched Pilar climb into her red coupe. He needed to avoid distractions if he was going to solve this case, and Pilar had become one.

Even now his thoughts flicked to the scene between Pilar and Gabriel when she’d whispered promises that she would keep him safe. Strange how he could almost see a better world when looking at it through Pilar’s eyes. He saw hope, even though life had given him every reason to doubt.

He shook his head to dismiss the image now, as he had when he’d witnessed it. Some police detective he’d turned out to be. He’d been so entranced watching Pilar and her tiny charge that if Naomi hadn’t announced his presence, he might have gone right on watching without thinking once about the case.