Two Rings, One Heart

“I’ll pray about it,” Megan replied.

Ruth sat down beside her and gave her a long, soothing hug. “I can’t help it, Megan. He’s my son. I love him.”

“I know,” Megan said.

Ruth left, pondering all the problems. She had grown up in hard times. Her parents had worked themselves into early graves. Her siblings were spread over the country and she seldom saw them. The mainstays in her life were God and her family. When her husband died and her son disappeared, she didn’t know where to turn. God was her answer. She could do little now for her loved ones, other than to pray for them.

Thursday night after dinner, the children went to their monthly school skate. Megan was looking forward to the time alone. Before she could settle down, there was a knock on the front door. Once again she found Mitchell standing outside.

“You’re not going to faint this time are you?” he teased.

“No,” Megan snapped. “The children are out.” She started closing the door.

“I know. That’s why I came by. We need to talk about them,” he said.

Megan stopped short, knowing Ruth—her friend, his mother—had told him she would be alone.

“May I come in? Please?”

He didn’t sound demanding, only hopeful. Something in his humble attitude caused her to relent She opened the door and led him to the formal dining room, deciding the tone of this meeting would be business-like. As they sat down across the table from one another, their eyes met. Megan raised her head and stuck out her chin.

“You don’t want me to see them at all, do you?” Mitchell asked patiently.

“Not really,” she replied with cold, hard honesty.

“Would you rather we go through the courts?” he asked.

“No!” Megan had been to that madhouse with business problems. She wasn’t about to trust them with her children.

“Can we come to an agreement?” he asked, never taking his eyes off her.

“I’ll consider letting you see them, as long as you follow certain conditions,” she said in a strained voice.

“Such as?”

“There will be absolutely no drinking. If there is, don’t ever ask to see them again,” she ordered staunchly.

“I don’t drink anymore,” he said, without looking away.

Megan was taken aback, but she continued on. “No overnight visits. If you take them out, both go. I’ll want to know where you’re going, what you’ll be doing…and no one else goes along,” she ordered.

He frowned at the last one. “What do you mean, no one goes along?”

“I don’t want girlfriends or ‘ol’ buddies’ or whatever going along. If you can’t spend time with the children alone, then don’t bother,” she said emphatically.

“No problem,” he responded seriously. Then his tone softened. “Could I ask one favor?” Megan waited without responding; she wasn’t going to give him any help. Mitchell took a deep breath. “Would you give me a little help with Jessica?”

Megan rubbed her temples, considering his request. Jess was ready to reject him and forget it. Megan almost welcomed the idea. She knew it wasn’t right to turn Jess against her father. She’d never done it before. Was she going to start now? She looked across the table at Mitch. “All right, but don’t expect too much from her.” She sighed.

“I understand. Could I possibly take the kids out this weekend?” he asked.

“I’ll have to think about it. Call me on Saturday,” she said, and stood up. The meeting was over.

Mitchell followed her to the door and stopped. “You’ve been more generous than I deserve. Thank you,” he said gratefully.

“Don’t disappoint my children!” she warned, holding the screen door open.

Megan immediately closed the door and leaned against it. Why did his visits rattle her so? And how was she going to be able to let him see her kids?

She was the one who had always been there for them. The one who had spent sleepless nights taking care of them. The one who was there for the plays and programs, who bandaged the cuts and scrapes. The one with them when they were sad or lonely or scared or just out of sorts. The one who helped them with their homework, buried their pets, and saw them through disappointments. Now, ten years later, Mitchell wanted to reappear and be their daddy. Where was he when they needed him? Where was he when she needed him?

Unsettled after Mitchell’s visit, Megan needed to get out of the house. She wandered down the road to the river. On her way, she had visions of Zack and Jess, at earlier ages, scampering ahead of her. They had traveled this way together often.

It was wonderful watching her children romp and play as they were growing up. In the winter they would sleigh ride on the hills and build snowmen. In the spring they would pick wild flowers and watch the land come to life. In the summer they would swim in the river and go fishing. In the fall they would climb the foothills into the mountains and camp out once in a while.

Megan sat down on the riverbank. She would never forget those times, but it would never be like that again. In a couple of years, Zack would be leaving for college. Jess was already getting involved in school and spending time with her friends. Now they’d be fitting “daddy” in their time, too. She imagined herself last on the list—lonely and forgotten.

Megan felt tears as she thought of what the future might hold. Why did he have to come back? Why, God? We’ve made it this far without him. Why is he back?

Megan looked around at her farm. Why did Mitchell make her feel so insecure? She had two wonderful children and a successful business. She had no right to complain. She could kick herself for giving in to self-pity.

Her thoughts turned to Mitchell. Visions of homeless men, drunks staggering around in a stupor, living in alleys and digging through Dumpsters for food, flashed through her mind. She shuddered.

Over the years, she had wondered how Mitchell looked. Now she knew. The straight nose was somewhat crooked. The unruly hair hadn’t changed much. The strong jaw seemed as determined as ever. The eyes were where she saw a change. They were no longer blank and empty, but peaceful—yet sad. He used to be unable to look her in the eye. Now he stared without flinching. That flustered her and put her on the defensive.

She thought back over her conversation with him. If she’d told him he could only see the children for five minutes once a year, he probably would have accepted. It made her so sad to think of the scraps he’d settle for, when he could have had it all.

All the land before her eyes could have been theirs. I’ll never understand how he just gave up his family. I’m tired of being haunted by regrets and guilt. I was the best wife I knew how to be. If that wasn’t enough, I’m sorry.

Early Saturday morning the phone rang. Megan let it ring a few times before answering it, afraid it was Mitchell.

“What did you decide?” he asked as soon as he heard her voice.

“You can pick them up at one today and take them out for a couple of hours,” she said reluctantly. “We’ll see how it goes. Where do you plan to take them?”

“To play putt-putt golf, or we’ll go roller skating if that suits you,” he said eagerly.

“Either is fine. Things better go right,” she warned and hung up.

When she told the kids, Zack was ready to go. Jess was infuriated. “I don’t want to go out with him! I don’t know him. I won’t go!” she insisted and started to stomp out.

“Both of you will go out with your father this afternoon,” Megan said firmly.

“Mom!” Jess pleaded. “I don’t want to go.”

“Jess, he’s your father. You should at least give him a chance,” she reasoned.

“Why? He never bothered to notice I was alive. He’s not my father. He’s just some guy that showed up the other night that I don’t know!” Jess shouted.

Megan stared at her calmly. She had expected this. “This will give you a chance to get to know him. He’s picking both of you up at one. Be ready.”

“Thanks a lot, Mom!” Jess shouted and ran to her room.

“Well, that went better than I expected,” Zack commented sarcastically.

Megan flashed him an unsteady smile. He had always been the easy child. Jessica had fought from the day she was born. She never went along with the plan. Megan had learned simply to put her foot down and to end the discussion.

This time, Jess was right. Her father was a stranger. Megan had given Mitchell her word to give Jess a little push in his direction. If this visit didn’t go well, she would push no more.

Megan left Jess in her room, sulking, and went to work feeling guilty.

At twelve o’clock she locked the shop and walked home with Zack. He was also feeling unsettled. “Mom, nothing will ever come between us. But sometimes…I need Dad.” He almost sounded as though he was apologizing.

“I told him I would let him see you, but if anything isn’t right, I expect you to tell me. If anything happens that shouldn’t, I’ll come and get you,” she said firmly.

“Mom, nothing will happen,” he assured her.

“Zack, the last time you saw your father, you were a little boy. He wasn’t like he seemed to you. He had problems, big problems. He may still have them. If he does, I don’t want either one of you with him. Do you understand?”

Zack nodded, but she could tell he was itching to argue on his father’s behalf.

Just before one, Megan went to see if Jess was ready. She felt like she was pushing her daughter into the lion’s den, but she found Jess sitting on her bed, waiting patiently, with her frilliest dress on. Megan reconsidered. Maybe it was Mitchell she should be feeling sorry for.

It was exactly one when Mitchell pulled in the driveway. Megan watched from the door as Zack and Jess climbed into the strange car. It drove away. But somewhere in her heart, she knew they would be back by three safe and sound.

Actually, they were back five minutes early. Mitchell evidently wasn’t taking any chances on getting on Megan’s wrong side again.

Jess came flying in the door and headed straight for her room. “Is everything all right?” Megan asked as Zack came in.

“Yeah. Great! We went to play putt-putt golf. Jess seemed to have a good time, but she’d never admit it. Dad’s out on the porch. He wants to talk to you,” he said, looking hopeful.

Megan went charging out the door, then stopped short when she found Mitchell perched on the porch railing in a familiar pose.

Memories seemed to have overcome Mitchell as he looked off into the distance. He appeared to snap back to reality at the irritated edge to Megan’s voice. “Zack said you wanted to talk to me.”

“I thought I’d let you know today went pretty well, thanks to you,” he admitted.

Megan didn’t know what to say. “Did Jess give you a hard time?”

“She was a little icy.” He grimaced.

“Then you fared well. I had to force her to go. By the way, she picked the outfit.”

He laughed. “I wondered about that.” Another uncomfortable silence followed. “Look, I just wanted to tell you, I didn’t come back to cause trouble or hurt anyone. I just want to get to know my kids. I’ve missed enough already.”

Why? Megan wondered. After all this time, why did you bother to come back? Instead she said, “I hope life is better for you now than it was when you left.”

“Much better. Thank God,” he said easily.

“I’m glad,” she said, turning to go into the house.

“Could I possibly take them out again tomorrow?” he asked quickly.

“We go to church.” It was the only thing she could think of to say.

“Later in the afternoon maybe?”

“Two, back by five,” Megan ordered officially.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, teasingly.

She glared at him. “Where do you plan on going?”

“To a movie or roller skating—depending on how Jess dresses.”

“Fine,” she said, turning to go in. He was learning fast. He already had it covered no matter how Jess dressed.

“See ya,” Mitchell called after her. Like old times.

Megan heard him, but she chose not to respond. Feeling in her heart that old empty ache of love gone wrong. “’Bye, Mitch,” she whispered to herself.

Inside Zack was waiting to ambush her, wanting to tell her all about the afternoon. “Mom, it was so great! Dad said…Dad did…Dad likes…” He went on and on as Megan listened patiently.

“He asked if he could see you both again tomorrow,” she added, when he took a breath.

“You told him yes, didn’t you?”

“He’s picking you up at two.”

Jess was coming down the stairs and overheard them talking. She rushed into the room. “Oh no, not again. I’m not going out with him!” she roared.

“Ah, Jess, you know you had a good time today,” Zack said. “Stop acting like such a baby!”

“What’s the problem, Jess?” Megan asked, feeling guilty for forcing her.

Her daughter shrugged and made a face. “I don’t know.”

“So, nothing’s really wrong. You just don’t want to go. Right?”

“Mom,” she began to whine, but the look on her mother’s face told her it was a waste of time.

“I believe you need to at least give him a chance. Don’t you?” Megan asked.

Jess nodded slightly.

The next morning at church, Megan heard little of the service. She was too busy asking God why, then not listening for His reply.

That afternoon Mitchell took the children roller skating. He felt that was safe, since Jess came out in jeans that looked well worn. Unbeknownst to him, skating was one of her favorite pastimes.

Jess had decided ahead of time that this wasn’t going to be any fun. When there was a couples skate, she refused to skate with Mitchell. Zack went off with a girl he knew from school.

Later, she fell skating. When Mitchell rushed to help her, she shrieked, “Leave me alone!” loud enough to turn a few heads in their direction. From then on, she made him as miserable as possible. He ended up bringing them home early.

“Come on in, I want you to see my science project,” Zack said, dragging his reluctant father inside.

Megan was nowhere in sight, so Jess began searching for her. She found her on the swing on the back porch. “Mom, I fell and hurt my leg really bad,” Jess moaned as she limped over.

“Let me see,” Megan said, making room beside her.

Jess sat down and pulled up the leg of her pants. Then she stuck her leg in her mother’s face for her to examine closely.

“Oh! You really bruised that, didn’t you,” Megan said, knowing Jess wanted sympathy, even though there was hardly a mark.

“It hurts a lot. I wanted to come home, but he made me stay,” she said pitifully.

Megan grabbed Jess and hugged her firmly. “You know something?”

“What?” Jess growled.

“I love you,” Megan giggled and gave Jess a kiss.

Jess wasn’t giving up yet. “I missed you. I kept thinking about you here all alone. Maybe next time Zack could go and I could keep you company.”

“I was fine. I.got some reading done.” Megan held up her book.

Jess was trying to figure out her next maneuver, when Mitchell came out the door. “I just wanted to tell you goodbye,” he said quietly.

“I was showing Mommy my leg,” she said, glaring at him accusingly.

“I’m sorry you got hurt,” he said.

Jess was having none of it. She got out of the swing and started to march inside, then remembered to limp.

Megan saw Mitchell’s bewildered expression. “Hold it, young lady! Don’t you have something to say?”

Jess swallowed her arrogant attitude. “Thank you for taking us skating,” she said, then quickly escaped.

Mitchell watched until she was inside. Then he turned his attention to Megan, who had a frown on her face. “What?” he asked, confused.

“She really has you hopping,” Megan commented.

“She hates me. She as much as told me so.”

“She still might. She’s no angel. She may look like one, but inside beats the heart of a true cynic, or so she’d like us to believe,” Megan said knowingly.

“You’re very smug,” he said.

“Well, if she keeps this up, you’ll be dancing to her tune. That will suit her fine.”

“I’ll call about the next time,” he said, flustered, and started off the porch.

“After two visits are you running scared?” she asked haughtily.

He turned back to face her. “You know, I never remember you being spiteful!”

“I never remember you being a coward!”

“A coward!” he said, amazed by the accusation.

“You’re having second thoughts because a child you neglected for ten years hasn’t taken to you right away! If you’re truly interested in a relationship with your daughter, it will take more than two afternoons of fun and games. You’re the one who came back and started this. So don’t blame Jess! Make up your mind if you really want to be a father, because neither one of them needs to be hurt again,” she said bitterly.

Megan’s words stung. Jess wasn’t like Zack, who was ready to welcome him home. Jess wanted nothing to do with him. His shoulders sagged as he thought of what he would have to face to build a relationship with her.

Megan noted his defeated look. “Look, she doesn’t want a father or a mother or a grandmother or anyone else telling her what to do or how to do it. It’s not just you.”

Mitchell looked perplexed. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I know Jess. She’s a pro, you’re not. She’s made teachers cry. She has this knack for making people feel guilty and unworthy, and she does it well. Most of it’s a facade—she’s really a sweetheart underneath. Don’t give up on her too easily. She’s worth the effort.” Megan’s expression softened.

Mitchell leaned against the porch railing. “I apologize for calling you spiteful.”

“Don’t make any rash decisions,” she warned.

“Do you still consider me a coward?”

She raised her eyebrows. “We’ll see.”

“I’ll be out of town on business for the next week. That’s why I said I’d call about the next visit,” he explained. “If you should need to get in touch with me for any reason, call See Life. They’ll know how to locate me.”

“Lucky them. We’ll manage,” she added dryly.

“How well I know you can manage alone. I’m reminded of that fact every time I come out here. Regardless, if an emergency comes up, call me. Please.”

Megan shrugged. “If that’s what you want. Who should I call, Sea Fish?”

“See Life,” he repeated. “It should be a new listing.” He started to leave, then he turned back to enlighten her a bit. “You know Jess gets it from you.”

“Not all of it,” Megan said, giving him a look that made him realize he was on shaky ground. She picked up her book, letting him know he could leave now.

“I’ll call while I’m gone,” he repeated.

“Suit yourself,” Megan answered without looking up. Thank goodness she wouldn’t have to deal with him for a few days. Maybe he wouldn’t bother to come back.

“See ya,” Mitchell said quietly, and left.

Chapter Three

Megan relaxed a little with Mitchell out of town. Then she began thinking. Maybe he had left again for good. She decided to call Sea Weed, or whatever, to see if he had been telling her the truth.

She dialed information. “I’d like a new listing, Sea something-or-other.”

The operator gave her the information and she punched in the numbers. “See Life. May I help you?” a friendly female voice asked.

“Yes. Do you have a Mitchell Whitney employed there?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. But Mr. Whitney is out of town. Could I take a message?”

“Could you possibly tell me Mr. Whitney’s position?”

“Well, Mr. Whitney handles everything. Could I tell him who’s calling?” she asked.

“No, thank you,” Megan said, hanging up. So he had a job. Big deal.

On Monday morning, Megan cheerfully answered the phone. “Meadow Flowers. How can I help you?”

“You could tell me you missed me,” Mitchell said timidly.

“I didn’t know you’d be back so soon,” she replied indifferently.

“I missed you guys,” he admitted anyway. “Would it be possible for me to see the kids tonight?”

“It’s not a good idea for them to be out late on school nights,” she said, trying to put him off. Just hearing his voice, she was tensing up again.

“We’ll go out for pizza and a quick trip to the mall, and be home by seven,” he persisted.

Megan thought of Zack. He’d been waiting all week to see his father. “They get home around 3:45. I’ll leave a note saying you’ll pick them up at four.”

“Would you care to join us?” he asked, then waited through a long silence.

“I have to work late,” she said, and hung up.

With the kids out of the house, Megan again began thinking of the past. Everything had been wonderful the first few years. She and Mitchell had gotten married right out of high school. A couple of years later, Zack had been born. Mitchell was beside her through everything. Mitch would get up with her to feed Zack. Then they would stand by his crib and watch him sleep. If something had been wrong with the relationship, she hadn’t seen it.

Later Mitch wasn’t happy with his job. They saved for him to go to night school, but as soon as he started, one thing or another went wrong. Mitch started going out with some of the guys after work to commiserate over a few beers.

It wasn’t long before Mitchell was missing some of his classes and neglecting to study. He began making careless mistakes at work, then not showing up for work. He didn’t show up for work one time too many. They fired him.

His father put the pressure on him and told him to shape up. Everything was fine for a while. Things were going well, except that he was still meeting the “ol’ buddies” every now and then.

Then without warning, Mitchell’s father died. The two of them had been really close, and Mitchell took his father’s death hard. No longer was the man he loved and respected there to jerk him up short when he needed it.

It was about that time that Mitchell began spending his weekends drinking with “the guys.” Everything started to add up again. Only this time he began pulling into himself and away from his family. But all that was the past. Megan didn’t want to think about it anymore. She went to wash clothes to keep occupied.

She was in her room, reading, when the kids came home. Jess dashed in with a shopping bag in hand and flopped down beside her. “Look what I got!” she exclaimed excitedly, pulling out a pair of dress boots.

Megan had seen them before, when she told Jess they were too expensive and looked too old for her. “You talked your dad into buying them?”

“He thought they were pretty and he didn’t mind getting them for me,” Jess jabbered.

Then Zack came in carrying a shopping bag. He showed his mother two pairs of jeans and a nice sweatshirt. “Dad got some jeans and a shirt. He wanted to buy us something,” he explained in an apologetic tone.

“That was nice of him,” Megan said.

“Mom, he asks about you every time we go out,” Zack said.

“I’ve got homework,” Jess said, obviously bored. She seemed disappointed that her mother hadn’t gotten mad at her dad for buying the boots. Hadn’t made him take them back.

“Mom, you could be a little nicer to him,” Zack pushed.

“Zack, go do your homework!”

“Mom, we used to be so happy. It could be that way again.”

Megan got up. “I need to see if the doors are locked.”

“I locked them when we came in,” said Zack, and continued to badger her. “You always told us everyone deserves a second chance. Why doesn’t that pertain to Dad?”

She stopped short. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I gave him chance after chance after chance. Face it, Zack, he chose alcohol over us.”

“He was drinking then. He’s not now. He’s changed.”

Megan stared at her son, unmoved.

“Give him another chance. You’d do that for a stranger,” he pointed out.