His Marriage to Remember

“That sounds like a good idea, Sam,” she agreed. His obvious lack of memory bothered her and they needed to speak to the doctor about it right away. “Try to get some rest now. I’m sure we’ll be able to deal with everything in the morning.”

Sam didn’t look happy, but apparently deciding he wasn’t going to get his way, he finally nodded. “Nate, could you give me a minute with my wife?”

“Sure thing, bro.” Nate nodded toward the hall. “I’ll be down in the waiting room with the rest of the guys, Bria.”

When Nate left the room, Sam pinned her with his piercing blue gaze. “Are you doing all right? You didn’t get too upset, did you?”

Confused, she had no idea why he was asking about her welfare. He was the one who had the accident. “I’m doing okay. But why do you ask?”

“We’ve been trying to have a baby and when I called you from the bull riding up in Oklahoma the other night you told me you were going to get one of those early home-pregnancy tests at the drugstore,” Sam said, looking hopeful as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Were we successful, sweetheart? Are you pregnant?”

A cold sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach at his mention of their trying to start a family. He didn’t remember that she had not only become pregnant, she had miscarried in her seventh week. That had been almost six months ago and had ended up being the last straw in making her decision to file for divorce. Something was definitely wrong if he had no recollection of the past several months’ tumultuous events.

“No, I’m not pregnant,” she said, determined to talk to the neurologist as soon as possible. “Now, get some rest and I’ll be in a little later to check on you.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Sam said, smiling. “We haven’t been trying that long. I’m sure you’ll be pregnant within another month or so.”

Unsure if she could respond without bursting into tears or reminding him that he would have had to be home more for her to become pregnant again, she simply nodded and turned to leave.

“Aren’t you going to give me a good-night kiss, sweetheart?” he asked, still holding her hand.

“I … uh … They won’t let me take down the bed rail,” she said, thinking fast. Kissing the tip of her index finger, she pressed it to his lips. “You need to get some rest so they’ll let you out of here soon. Try to get some sleep, Sam.”

He gave her a grin that never failed to cause her heart to skip a beat. “It’s going to be damn hard to do without you here beside me.”

She once again had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out that sleeping without her hadn’t seemed to be a problem for him when he was traveling from one rodeo to another with his livestock-contracting company. But as she stared down at his handsome face, she decided that now wasn’t the time to get into how lonely she had been without him, how many times she had asked him to cut back on the travel or to remind him that some time ago, he had reached his goal of being independently wealthy and didn’t need to work if he didn’t want to. His smile was playing havoc with her resolve and she needed to put distance between them in order to regain her perspective.

“Good night, Sam.”

Some things never changed, she thought as she walked down the hall to the waiting area. The sun rose in the east each morning. The ocean rushed to shore. And Sam Rafferty could make her knees wobble with nothing more than his sexy-as-sin smile.

“I really don’t see any other way around it, Bria,” Nate insisted, shaking his head. “You’re going to have to move back into the ranch house with Sam until he regains his memory.”

After finally getting a chance to talk to the doctor the day after the accident, Sam’s brothers and Bria had decided to get a good night’s sleep, then meet in the hospital cafeteria this morning for coffee as they discussed how best to handle Sam’s recovery.

Dr. Bailey had informed them that after staying in the hospital for observation the past forty-eight hours, Sam had been cleared to go home, but that he was suffering from post-concussion syndrome. That was the reason he had forgotten everything that had happened during the past six months. The doctor had assured them that the condition was most likely temporary and would clear up on its own in a few weeks with Sam recovering most, if not all, of his memory. But until then he might suffer with headaches and spells of dizziness and shouldn’t become overly stressed or worried. And that was what brought them together to discuss the current dilemma. It was imperative that someone be with him at all times until he was fully recovered.

“Can’t one of you stay with him?” she asked, looking at each man in turn. “Or maybe hire someone to oversee his care?”

“Hiring a nurse would be out of the question,” T.J. said, adamantly shaking his head. “That would just piss him off and traumatize some poor nurse after she figured out he’s like a grizzly with a sore paw when he can’t do things for himself.”

“Any one of us could arrange to stay with him, but that wouldn’t solve the problem of Sam not getting overly stressed,” Lane said as if weighing his words carefully. “He doesn’t remember that the two of you were in the process of getting a divorce, let alone that you moved out. And right now that’s information he doesn’t need to hear.” Being a professional poker player, the man was a master at strategy and logic. At the moment, he was doing a fine job of using both to wear her down.

“You know we would do it for Sam in a heartbeat, but we aren’t who he’s going to expect—or want—to be with him,” Ryder pointed out.

“But all my things are in Dallas,” she said, feeling trapped. “Don’t you think he’ll notice there are none of my personal effects in the ranch house? No clothes. No pictures of my family.”

She knew it was a weak argument, but how was she supposed to get on with rebuilding her life if she had to go back to Sugar Creek Ranch and all the problems that had caused her to leave in the first place? And especially when the man she would be living with didn’t remember that those problems had become insurmountable.

“We all have trucks and strong backs,” T.J. said, shrugging.

Jaron nodded. “We can have you moved back into the house in nothing flat.”

Sighing, Bria knew what they said made perfect sense, but it still didn’t make it any easier to accept defeat. She had just started to get used to the idea that she wouldn’t be living the life she had planned when she married Sam. For three years, she had envisioned herself as a stay-at-home wife and mother to the big family they had planned to have. Then after making the painful decision to leave him, she had to start thinking about re-entering the workforce and building a career.

“If I do this, it’s only temporary.” She felt as if she was taking a huge step back from the course she had set for herself three months ago.

“Got it,” Nate said.

“I’m starting a new job as a marketing consultant for one of the department stores in Dallas in a few weeks when they start to expand their women’s clothing line, and I can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity,” she stressed. “I’m lucky they allowed me the time to get the divorce finalized and my feet back under me before I start the job. I’m not going to ask for more.”

“I’m certain Sam will have his memory back by then,” Lane assured her.

“And I wouldn’t want everything moved back to the ranch,” she warned them.

“Just tell us what you want out of your apartment and we’ll make sure that it’s in the house by the time you and Sam get home,” Ryder said, smiling.

Nate checked his watch. “We’d better get moving. They’re going to discharge Sam in a couple hours. That doesn’t give us a lot time to get to Dallas and then out to the ranch before you two get there.”

“Just get my clothes and shoes out of the closet,” she said, resigned. “I’ll go into town and buy whatever else I need.”

“Are you sure that’s it?” Ryder asked, frowning. “Won’t you need your under—”

“Positive,” she interrupted. She wasn’t about to have them bring anything else from her apartment. The thought of five men going through her underwear drawer to pack a box of panties, bras and nightgowns to bring to the ranch just wasn’t the least bit appealing.

Giving Nate the address of her apartment in Dallas, she handed him her key. “After you get my clothes, go to the manager’s office and tell her to hold my mail until I can get back up that way in a week or so to pick it up.”

“How are you going to manage getting away from Sam for the hour-and-a-half drive to get up there?” Jaron asked, frowning.

“I’m sure Sam will have a follow-up appointment with the neurologist sometime within the next couple of weeks.” She gave them all a warning look as she started to get up. “If I’m going to stay with him until he’s recovered, one of you will be taking him to the doctor here in Waco while I drive to Dallas to see about my apartment and get my mail.” Before they could come up with an excuse to get out of it, she added, “You owe me that much.”

She wasn’t at all surprised when all five of them rose to their feet as she stood up. She had known them almost as long as she had known Sam, and from the moment they met her, they had all treated her as if she was the sister they never had. Hank Calvert had not only helped them straighten out their youthful problems and set them on a course to become highly successful, extremely wealthy men, he had taught them manners and respect, as well as instilled in them a strong sense of family.

“Thanks for doing this for Sam,” Nate said, giving her a brotherly kiss on the cheek. “We really appreciate it, Bria.”

When they walked her to the elevator, each man hugged her and assured her they would see her at the ranch. As Bria watched them walk toward the hospital’s main exit, she couldn’t help dreading the upcoming weeks. How on earth was she going to act as if everything was all right?

Sam was the same man who worked constantly, couldn’t take the time for them as a couple and was never there for her when she needed him most. She had tried to tell him time after time what was wrong with their marriage—the reasons she was so unhappy and why she wanted them to return to the way things had been between them before they married. But all he would say was that everything he did was for her and their future. She finally came to the conclusion that no matter how successful and wealthy he became, it was never going to be enough. When he waited an entire day before he came home to check on her after she lost their baby, she knew she couldn’t go on with the way things were. Even when she needed him, he put his business first. Now, she was going back to the same situation.

Stepping onto the elevator, she pushed the button for the third floor. No, nothing had changed. Sam was still an incurable workaholic and without a doubt her biggest weakness. He always had been and unfortunately for her, she suspected that would never change.

Two

As Bria steered her SUV onto the road leading up to the ranch house she had called home for the past three years, she glanced over at Sam. He hadn’t had much to say on the drive from the hospital and she wondered if he was trying to remember events from the past six months.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“I don’t remember us buying this SUV,” he finally said. “How long have we had it?”

“About three months,” she answered, deciding to be honest, but omitting the fact that she had bought the Explorer after she moved away from the ranch.

As of yet, Sam hadn’t asked a lot of questions after being told that he had a form of amnesia, and she was extremely grateful. She wasn’t in the habit of lying to anyone, especially to Sam. For one thing, their relationship had always been based on honesty and trust and although their marriage was at an end, it didn’t mean that had to change. And for another, not telling Sam the truth wouldn’t do a thing to help him regain his memory. The doctor had advised that it would be better to let Sam remember the events of the past six months on his own and not inundate him with facts that might prove stressful and possibly impede his recovery.

“It seems pretty nice,” he said, looking around the interior of the vehicle.

She nodded. “I like it.”

“Did we get it in anticipation of a baby?” he asked, turning to look in the back. “Looks like there should be plenty of room for a car seat.”

“No.”

That was the second time he had mentioned them trying to become pregnant, and it wasn’t any easier to hear this time than it had been the other night at the hospital. Every time she thought about the baby she had miscarried almost five months ago, her chest tightened from the crushing loss, as well as the hurt and anger she still felt at him for not being there for her when she had needed his strength and support. He had chosen work over her and the loss of their baby, and that was something she didn’t think she would ever be able to get past.

She jumped when Sam reached over and placed his index finger to her mouth to stop her from nibbling on her lower lip. “Sweetheart, if you don’t stop that, there won’t be anything left for me to kiss.”

Hoping to change the subject, she took a deep breath and nodded toward the house. “It looks like your brothers are here to visit with you while I go into town to pick up a few things.”

“I don’t need a damn babysitter,” he said, clearly irritated by the thought.

“This isn’t up for debate, Sam.” She shook her head. At times, his pride was one of the most infuriating things about him. “You’re not calling the shots here—I am. The doctor said someone needed to be with you at all times and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. You might as well accept that.”

“We’ll see,” he said, indicating that he wasn’t going to make things easy.

When she parked the SUV, Sam got out of the truck before she could tell him to wait until she made sure he was steady enough to make it to the house. Pointing to the five men on the back porch having a beer, he called, “Hey, grab me one of those.”

“Don’t you dare,” Bria warned them as she closed the driver’s door. “The doctor said no alcoholic beverages.” Coming around the front of the Explorer, she asked, “Do you feel all right? You aren’t dizzy, are you?”

“I’m not a hothouse flower, Bria,” he said impatiently. “Other than not being able to remember the past six months, I’m fine. I could have driven us home and I don’t see why I can’t have a beer. It doesn’t have that much alcohol in it.”

“Let me tell you something, Sam Rafferty,” she said sternly. “You’re going to do exactly what the doctor outlined in the release instructions or I swear I’ll—”

“Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you start pitching a hissy fit?” he interrupted, tenderly touching her cheek. The gesture and his wicked grin sent a tiny thrill straight up her spine, distracting her. She had missed his touch and playfulness. It wasn’t something she had seen a lot of since he started the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company right after they married. “As soon as my brothers leave I’ll show you what it does to me.”

Bria forced herself to ignore the tremendous yearning that coursed through her. Lovemaking had been the one area of their marriage that was everything it should have been—at least it had been when he wasn’t traveling from one rodeo to another. But just because Sam didn’t remember they were calling it quits was no excuse for her to forget and give in to the temptation of being held by him once again. Leaving had been hard enough the first time, making love with him now would only make it doubly so when he regained his memory and she had to leave again.

“There won’t be any of that, either,” she said as much for her own benefit as it was for his. “You’re not supposed to get overly excited or stressed.”

“Sweetheart, making love isn’t stressful,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the back-porch steps. “It’s actually a great stress reliever, not to mention just plain fun.”

Her cheeks heated. “Shh. Your brothers will hear.”

“I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be all that shocked,” he teased. “I think they know married folks carry on like that.”

Sam suddenly stopped walking and she could tell that he was having a problem by the way he leaned on her for support. “Nate! I need help! Sam’s dizzy!”

Nate and the other four men were down the steps and at Sam’s side in a flash. “Let’s get you into the house, bro,” Nate said, lifting Sam’s arm to his shoulders to relieve the weight from Bria.

“I can make it on my own steam,” Sam insisted. A muscle along his jaw worked furiously, indicating that he was fighting with everything he had to will the vertigo away.

Shaking her head at his foolish pride, Bria let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m going to let you all watch him while I go to town to buy groceries and some other necessities.”

“You are coming back, aren’t you?” Nate asked a little too quickly.

“Why wouldn’t she come back?” Sam frowned. “She lives here. Where else would she go?”

“Yes, I’ll be back,” she promised, ducking from beneath his arm. “I assume you took care of everything while I was at the hospital picking up Sam?”

“All done,” T.J. answered.

“What’s going on?” Sam demanded, looking from her to his brothers. “If somebody doesn’t tell me what the hell’s going on, I’m going to—”

“You can be pretty darned ornery when you don’t feel good,” Nate said, shrugging.

“Bria might decide to take off for parts unknown if you don’t follow doctor’s orders,” Lane added. “If I were you, I’d do what she tells you to do.”

When Sam seemed to accept their explanation, Bria breathed a sigh of relief. Very many mistakes like the one Nate had just made and they would have to tell Sam the truth before he could remember it on his own.

“And don’t worry about our getting everything done,” Ryder said, checking his watch. “We took care of getting the livestock loaded and sent on to the Del Rio rodeo. I’m going to hit the road and head on down there now. I’m supposed to work this one anyway, and it won’t be a big deal for me to oversee the wranglers.”

“Thanks, Ryder,” Sam said. “I appreciate it.”

“No need to thank me,” Ryder said, shaking his head. “You’d do the same for me if I needed help.”

“We’ll be down in a couple of days to help out,” T.J. said as Ryder turned to walk to his truck.

“Are we getting together for my birthday on Sunday, Bria?” Jaron looked hopeful. “You know how much I love your apple pie.”

“Of course,” she said, smiling.

She was glad Jaron mentioned his upcoming birthday. Planning his birthday dinner would give her something to concentrate on besides how much she wished things could be different for her and Sam. Besides, she loved holding family celebrations, and with all the men coming back for the weekend, it would give her a break from the pressure she anticipated being under while taking care of Sam.

Apparently satisfied that everything was as it should be, Sam nodded toward her SUV. “Drive careful, sweetheart.”

Walking to her Explorer, Bria wondered how she was going to make it through the next few weeks without losing her mind. Sam was far too perceptive not to pick up on every little slip, and it was just a matter of time before he realized that things between them were vastly different from what he remembered. Unfortunately, explaining that their marriage was over and why would do nothing but add to the stress he was already under from just trying to recall the past several months.

As she drove from the ranch yard, she sighed heavily. How had she managed to get herself into such a complicated situation? But more important than that, how on earth was she going to get herself out of it and remain on the course she had set for herself three months ago?

With their housekeeper and part-time cook, Rosa, off visiting her sister in San Antonio for a couple of weeks, Bria was in the kitchen cooking supper, while Sam sat in the family room pretending to watch the local evening news. She had insisted that he take it easy and he was trying, but it was damn hard to do. He wasn’t used to being idle and having to sit around with nothing to do made him feel like a worthless slug. He was accustomed to doing what a man was supposed to do—work hard and make a good living for his wife and the family they were planning to have.

Thinking about his stock-contracting business, he smiled. He was proud of the fact that he had started from scratch and built the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company to the level that he could retire right now without any worries for the rest of his days. But he wasn’t of a mind to do that. As Hank always said, everyone needed a purpose. Sam’s mission in life was to work hard so that Bria would never want for anything, never have to worry where money for their next meal would come from. Unlike what his biological father had done for his mother, Sam intended to see that his wife got whatever her heart desired.

As he looked around the room, he tried to remember the last time he had been home for more than a couple of days at a time. It was frustrating as hell not to recall even the simplest of memories, not to mention it was taking a big toll on his pride. Showing any kind of weakness never had been his style. But the fact that Bria was witness to his most recent limitations made the whole situation doubly humiliating.

He was supposed to be strong and capable—the man who took care of her, not the other way around. Unless he missed his guess, she was having just as hard of a time seeing him this way as he was of being the husband with some major limitations and no recent memories.

From the time she had come into the ICU to see him the night of the accident, Bria had been aloof, and their conversations, what few they’d had, were awkward at best. Had the fact that he had been hurt caused her to think of him as being inept? Or had she been there to see the bull run him down and was still traumatized by witnessing the accident?

He tried to think, but like everything else that had happened recently, he couldn’t remember. “Bria, could you come here a minute?”

When she walked in from the kitchen, she looked absolutely beautiful. A few strands of auburn hair had escaped the confines of her ponytail and her cheeks were delightfully pink from the heat of cooking supper.

“Is everything all right?” she asked, a look of concern in her pretty green eyes.

“I’m fine.” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I was just wondering if you were at the rodeo. Did you see what happened?”

She nodded. “You were … distracted when the bull got loose. But I thought your brothers told you all about that while I was in town this afternoon.”

“They did.” Frowning, he shook his head. “I just can’t believe I was that careless. I’m normally real cautious around the bulls and especially that brindle. He’s as mean as a rattlesnake. Do you know what had my attention just before the accident happened?”

“They didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

He watched her take a deep breath before she looked down at her tightly clasped hands.

“I had just arrived and you were watching me.”

“That doesn’t sound like me. I never let myself get distracted while I’m working with livestock.” He ran his hand over the tension building at the back of his neck. “And normally when you come to one of the rodeos, you get there well before the events start, not when they’re almost over. Why were you running so late?”

“You know how bad traffic can be on I-35.” She glanced over her shoulder into the kitchen. “I really need to check on the spaghetti.”

“We’ll talk about it over supper,” he said, nodding.

When Bria disappeared into the kitchen, he was more confused than ever. Why had he been watching her instead of what he had been doing? And why did she seem so nervous about it? Did she somehow feel responsible for the accident? Was she feeling guilty?