Her Secret Valentine

“We can’t keep running from each other…”

Cal threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of Ashley’s neck and tilted her face to his. “We have to figure out a way to make this marriage of ours work.”

Fear mixed with her desire. “And what if it doesn’t?” The whispered words were out before Ashley could stop them.

Cal’s expression hardened. He took his hand away from her hair. “We’ll never know until we try.”

True.

“All right.” Ashley moved away from him. She twisted the glossy length of her hair into an austere knot and caught it in a butterfly clip.

“But if we do this and we do it on your timetable, then we do it on my terms.”

Cal lifted a brow. “Which are?”

“If I come back to North Carolina with you, then we can’t make love.”

Cal tried his best to keep his jaw from dropping.

Dear Reader,

I’m one of the lucky ones. The love of my life is also my very best friend. Marrying him was the easiest decision I ever made. Learning how to be married was a little tougher. (i.e., Should the toothpaste cap be left on or off? Is taking out the garbage a gender-oriented chore or an equal-opportunity event? Just how much information is too much? Or too little?) And though in the early days of our marriage our life together sometimes resembled a Hepburn-Tracy comedy, we eventually achieved a very nice balance and a healthy respect for each other’s wants and needs.

This is not, however, yet the case for Cal and Ashley Hart. College sweethearts, pursuing dual careers in medicine, they both expected everything to be just perfect when they finally tied the knot. It wasn’t. And neither could figure out why.

The problem? A failure to communicate.

And now Cal and Ashley are on the precipice. Do they cut their losses and prevent further hurt? Or roll up their sleeves, renew their commitment and get to work on the challenging task of making their marriage work in a very fundamental and satisfying way?

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed creating it. For more information on this and other books, visit my Web site at www.cathygillenthacker.com.

Best wishes,

Cathy Gillen Thacker

Her Secret Valentine

Cathy Gillen Thacker

This book is dedicated to Charlie, with all my love.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter One

“How long is this situation between you and Ashley going to go on?” Mac Hart asked.

Cal tensed. He’d thought he had been invited over to his brother Mac’s house to watch playoff football with the rest of the men in the family. Now, suddenly, it was looking more like an intervention. He leaned forward to help himself to some of the nachos on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Then let us spell it out for you,” Cal’s brother-in-law, Thad Lantz, said with his usual coach-like efficiency.

Joe continued, “She missed Janey’s wedding to Thad in August, as well as Fletcher’s marriage to Lily in October, and Dylan and Hannah’s wedding in November.”

Cal bristled. They all knew Ashley was busy completing her Ob/Gyn fellowship in Honolulu. “She wanted to be here, but since the flight from Honolulu to Raleigh is at minimum twelve hours, it’s too far to go for a weekend trip. Not that she has many full weekends off in any case.” Nor did he. Hence, their habit of rendezvousing in San Francisco, since it was a six- or seven-hour flight for each of them.

More skeptical looks. “She didn’t make it back to Carolina for Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year’s this year, either,” Dylan observed.

Cal shrugged and centered his attention on the TV, where a lot of pre-game nonsense was currently going on. “She had to work all three holidays.” He wished the game would hurry up and start. The sooner it did, the sooner this conversation would be over.

“Had to or volunteered to?” Fletcher muttered with a questioning lift of his dark brow.

Uneasiness settled around Cal. He’d had many of the same questions himself. Still, Ashley was his wife, and he felt honor-bound to defend her. “I saw her in November in San Francisco. We celebrated all our holidays then.” In one passion-filled weekend that had oddly enough left him feeling lonelier and more uncertain of their union than ever.

Concerned looks were exchanged all the way around. Cal knew the guys in the family all felt sorry for him, which just made the situation worse.

Dylan dipped a tortilla chip into the chili-cheese sauce. “So when is Ashley coming home?” he asked curiously.

That was just it—Cal didn’t know. Ashley didn’t want to talk about it. “Soon,” he fibbed.

Thad paused, his expression thoughtful. “I thought her fellowship was up in December.”

Cal sipped his beer, the mellow golden brew settling like acid in his gut. “She took her oral exam then and turned in her thesis.”

Fletcher helped himself to a buffalo wing. “Her written exam was last July, wasn’t it?”

Cal nodded. “But her last day at the hospital isn’t until January 15,” he cautioned. In a couple of days from now.

“And then she’s coming back home, right?”

That had been the plan, when Ashley had left two and a half years ago to complete her medical education in Hawaii. Now he wasn’t so sure that was the case. But not wanting to tell his brothers any of that, he simply said, “She’s looking for a job now.”

“Here, in North Carolina.”

Cal certainly hoped so, since he was committed to his job at the Holly Springs Medical Center for another eighteen months, minimum.

“If she were my wife…” Mac began.

“Funny,” Cal interrupted, the last of his legendary patience waning swiftly. “You don’t have a wife.”

“If it were me,” Mac continued, ignoring Cal’s glare as he added a piping-hot pizza to the spread, “I’d get on a plane to Honolulu, put her over my shoulder and carry her home if necessary.” His take-charge attitude served him well as the sheriff of Holly Springs, but his romantic track record hardly made him an expert on dishing out relationship advice.

“That John Wayne stuff doesn’t work with Ashley.” Never had. Never would.

“Well, you better do something,” Joe warned.

All eyes turned to him. Cal waited expectantly, knowing from the silence that fell there was more. Finally, Joe cleared his throat. “The women in the family are all upset. You’ve been married nearly three years now, and most of that time you and Ashley have been living apart.”

“So?” Cal prodded.

“So, they’re tired of seeing you so unhappy.” Dylan took over where Cal left off. “They’re giving you and Ashley till Valentine’s Day—”

Cal and Ashley’s wedding anniversary.

“—to make thing right.”

“And if that doesn’t happen?” Cal demanded.

Fletcher scowled. “Then the women in the family are stepping in.”

“IF YOU KEEP this up, people are going to start calling you the Artful Dodger.”

The low sexy voice with the hint of Southern drawl echoed through the Honolulu General staff lounge. Her heart leaping with a mixture of pleasure and surprise, Ashley turned to see her husband of almost three years standing in the doorway. Joy swept through her as she hungrily surveyed him.

Cal was wearing a loose-fitting tropical print silk shirt that made the most of his hard-muscled chest and broad shoulders. Pleated trousers nicely outlined his trim waistline and long sturdy legs. His short, traditionally cut ash-blond hair was brushed away from his face, and his smooth golden skin glowed with good health. The hint of a traveler’s beard clung to his strong—and exceedingly stubborn—Hart jaw. Taken alone, his features weren’t particularly outstanding. His nose bore the scars of a childhood athletic injury. His brows and thick, short eyelashes were so light in hue that you could hardly see them, and his upper lip was a little on the thin side. And yet, together, those penetrating pewter-gray eyes and not-so-perfect features combined to make a drop-everything, he-is-so-arresting man. Not to mention, she thought wistfully, how stealthily he moved—as if all that male power were just waiting to be unleashed. Or how intimately he looked at her, which suggested he couldn’t wait to get her back into his arms and into his bed.

“Cal.” Ashley stared at him in shock.

“Well that’s something anyway.” He grinned at her lazily. “At least you recall my name.”

Beneath the teasing tone was a hint of hurt that was baffling, since Cal rarely revealed the inner workings of his heart and mind to her or anyone else. Ashley swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat, sensing that was about to change. He had four inches on her, so at five foot ten, she still had to tilt her head back to clearly see into his face.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, wondering if his sturdy masculine presence and six-foot-two frame would ever stop making her feel tiny. “I thought—”

Cal arched his blond brow. “That I was going to wait until you gave me the signal it was okay to come and get you?”

Aware he was now standing close enough for her to inhale the sea-and-sun fragrance of his cologne, Ashley shoved aside the familiar anxiety bubbling up inside her, ducked beneath a Congratulations, Ashley! banner and went back to pulling things out of her locker and dropping them in a cardboard box. “Who said anything about you coming to get me?” She had wanted to be prepared for this no doubt difficult tête-à-tête. She had wanted to know precisely what to say.

Cal stepped closer. “Exactly. There were no plans made. And yet,” he observed, his voice dropping a seductive notch, “your last shift at the hospital was today.”

Ashley drew a deep breath and turned to face him. “What’s gotten into you?” Feeling the need for some protection from the emotions shimmering between them, she held her rain jacket in front of her like a shield.

Cal took it from her and dropped it into the box of belongings. “What do you mean?”

Her pulse pounding, Ashley whirled back to get a few books. “You’re normally so…easygoing and patient when it comes to stuff like this,” she said as she dropped them on top of her jacket. Today he seemed anything but that.

Cal’s eyes gleamed with a predatory light. He flattened his hand on the locker next to her and leaned in close. “Which is perhaps the problem, Ash. Maybe I’m too good at waiting and not nearly as good at going after what I want.”

Oh, my. “Which is—?” Ashley countered.

Cal took her in his arms and swept her close, until they were touching intimately. “For starters, this,” he told her as his lips came down on hers.

Their first kiss after a long separation always radiated lots of feeling and passion. And this one, Ashley noted as Cal’s lips and tongue laid claim to hers, was no exception. He tasted like the spearmint gum he carried in his pocket. And, as his arms wrapped tightly around her, she felt that she had finally come home. Not that this was any surprise.

Ashley had loved Cal practically from the first moment she had set eyes on him, during her freshman year of college at Wake Forest. Maybe it was because he was four years older than she was—already a first-year med student when they met—but he had always overwhelmed her with his confidence and sexy Southern charm. She felt safe when she was with him. Desired. Every inch a woman.

It was only when they were miles apart, out of each other’s arms, that the doubts crept in about their love lasting forever. But when he was kissing her like this, his lips moving surely over hers, all she could think was how right he felt pressed up against her.

They could have gone on forever like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing madly, if it hadn’t been for the sound of a door opening behind them. Followed by a discreet cough and laughter.

“No need to ask what you two are doing,” the maternity-ward nurse said.

Cal lifted his head reluctantly. “Celebrating!” he said, looking more than ready to do it all over again.

Ashley relaxed in Cal’s arms, laying her head on his chest, as the nurse beamed. She looked at Ashley. “You must have told him about the job offer in Maui! Isn’t that fabulous?” The nurse turned back to Cal. “Do you know how many of us would give up our vacations to work there?”

Silence fell as the impact of her words sank in. Cal’s expression turned troubled, as did Ashley’s and then the nurse’s. Ashley held up a hand before an apology could be made.

The nurse took another look at their expressions, then smiled again and quite wisely made for the door. “I’ll, uh, see you two aren’t disturbed,” she stated delicately on her way out.

Cal just stood there, looking as if he felt as shut out of Ashley’s life as she often did of his. Guilt flooded her. As usual, it seemed she was going to be damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. If she declined this job, her parents and Dr. Connelly, her mentor here, and everyone else she worked with was going to be disappointed in her. And Cal wouldn’t be pleased with her no matter what she did. He expected her to be as successful in her career as he was in his, yet he didn’t want any work-related demands interfering with their time together. Given the fact she was an obstetrician and he a surgeon—both of them prone to be called out at any moment on patient emergencies—that was one tough bill to fill. Aware he was still waiting for an explanation, she said finally, “I was going to tell you.”

Cal studied her, his gray eyes distant. “I take it this means you haven’t turned the position down yet,” he replied.

Ashley shrugged, wishing she were clad in something other than blue cotton scrubs and tennis shoes. Maybe if she were dressed like Cal—in sophisticated street clothes—she’d feel more confident. Feeling errant strands escaping down the back of her neck and brushing the sides of her face, Ashley released the butterfly clip that held her hair. She straightened the strands with her fingers, twisted them into a loop and put her hair back up. “I just found out about it last week.”

“Your coworkers know about it.”

Ashley knew he expected first dibs on news like that. And she would have told him, if she’d had any other job offers to go along with it. But she hadn’t because she’d been so busy finishing up her fellowship that she hadn’t even had time to really start looking for a permanent position. This one had just fallen into her lap. When she had talked to Cal, she had wanted to have more options to present. So he wouldn’t be as disappointed in her as her parents were likely to be to find her lax in her search for employment after all those years of expensive education and training. Cal had had about six job offers waiting his decision when he finished his residency. But then he had devoted the entire first five months of their marriage to making sure that was the case. Whereas she had reserved her precious few days off to spend with Cal, instead of searching for a position.

“Some of the staff just happened to be here when I got the phone call from Maui about the offer,” Ashley explained.

A mixture of anger and disappointment flashed briefly in his eyes. “Phones work on the mainland, too,” he muttered.

His displeasure cut right through her worse than anyone else’s ever had. “I thought it was something we should discuss in person,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion.

He regarded her with mounting dismay. “You can’t seriously be considering taking it.”

“Actually,” Ashley hesitated, “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”

Cal nodded and said nothing else.

Realizing he didn’t want to have this conversation in a communal staff lounge any more than she did, Ashley continued getting ready to leave.

After Cal helped her gather up the rest of the things, she said her goodbyes to the staff, and they drove back to her apartment.

Located in a high rise that overlooked Waikiki beach, the furnished efficiency was as sparely decorated as it had been the day Ashley had moved in two-and-a-half years ago.

Cal had only been at her apartment a handful of times, and Ashley had been there mainly to shower and sleep. The majority of her time had been spent at the teaching hospital and various clinics served by it around the island.

There was a stack of collapsed moving boxes for her clothes and books shoved along one wall. A pile of mail on the coffee table. The large square room and bath normally felt cold and empty to Ashley. Tonight, with Cal here, it felt suffocating. Almost too small for comfort.

“Aren’t you going to ask me anything else about the job I’ve been offered?” Ashley said, wishing Cal would open up to her more instead of always keeping everything inside. Except, of course, when it came to his desire for her. He was very open about expressing that. As was she, she admitted reluctantly to herself.

“Actually—” Cal set down his small duffel bag “—first, I’d like to go for a swim. We can get into all that over dinner?”

Ashley swallowed. If they were going to fight, she just wanted to do it already. “But—”

He cut her off with a derisive look. “If there’s bad news coming, I think I’d rather wait until later to hear it, if you don’t mind.”

The decision made—as far as he was concerned anyway—Cal methodically emptied his pockets. No sooner had he unclipped the cell phone from his belt than it began to ring. He glanced at the caller ID and tossed the phone to Ashley. “See what Mac wants, would you?”

Cal grabbed his swim trunks from his overnight bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Ashley was left holding the still-buzzing phone. By the time she figured out how to use the unfamiliar keypad, the call went over to message. She waited for it to finish and then retrieved it, using Cal’s password.

“Well?” Cal said. Emerging from the bathroom, he tossed his shirt and slacks onto the back of the sofa. “What did Mac want?”

Despite her quickly mounting irritation from the message she’d listened to, Ashley couldn’t resist admiring his tanned, muscular physique. “Actually, the message was from all four of your brothers and your brother-in-law.” Defiantly, she kept her gaze from wandering below the waist of his loose-fitting tropic-print swim trunks.

Cal tensed, but his expression did not change. Hence, Ashley couldn’t tell if he had been expecting this “fun-filled call” from his brothers or not.

“Go on,” Cal demanded.

With pleasure, Ashley thought, as she caught her husband’s gaze and held on for all she was worth. “Mac reminded you that ‘a woman appreciates strength in a man.’

“Fletcher said, ‘There’s nothing more seductive than making someone laugh.’” Hah! As if Cal had ever needed help getting her into his arms and his bed!

“Dylan said, ‘When it comes to women, patience is a virtue that is highly overrated.’” Since when had Cal waited for anything he wanted from her? It was more his style to conquer first and ask questions later.

“Joe suggested you think ‘offense’ this time around.” Offense for what? Ashley wondered. Their marriage? That made it sound like a game!

“And Thad suggested that ‘you not forget to listen.’” Which was, Ashley considered, actually something Cal needed to do more of.

Her diatribe over, Ashley tossed the phone back to Cal. “So,” she fumed. “Do you want to tell me what that is all about? Or should I just guess?”

Chapter Two

“They’re just clowning around,” Cal said lamely, as he opened the sliding-glass doors to her balcony and stepped through them.

“And that’s it?” Ashley prodded warily, joining him on the lanai.

Here was his chance to tell her his whole family was worried about them. Ready to step in and help, if need be. But sensing she would not take this news well—Ashley had never really gotten how close the Harts were, or how much they depended on each other for moral and emotional support—Cal simply said, “The consensus is we’ve spent so much time apart in the three years since we said our ‘I do’s,’ that we’re still newlyweds.”

“And in other ways,” Ashley sighed, turning her glance to the blue ocean and shimmering white sand dotted with palm trees, “sometimes it seems like we’re hardly married at all.”

Precisely the problem, in Cal’s estimation. “That will all change once we’re living in the same house in the same city again,” Cal told Ashley confidently. He studied her carefully as the warm tropical breeze fanned across them. “That is still the plan, isn’t it?”

Ashley hesitated, much to Cal’s dismay.

Resentment roiled in his gut. “You can’t seriously be thinking about taking the position!”

To his increasing disappointment, Ashley made a palms-up gesture that reflected her uncertainty. “It’s a dream job, Cal. Something I would feel lucky to be offered even ten years down the road. To get the opportunity now is a real coup. One that would make my parents proud. And you, too, I would think.” Her voice trembled, despite her strong resolve. “After all, didn’t I support you when you landed a position that would allow you to treat members of the Carolina Storm professional hockey team and a lot of the premiere college athletes in the area?”

Cal turned his glare to the beautiful blue horizon. “I never said you didn’t support my dreams to be the best sports medicine specialist and orthopedic surgeon around.”

“Good.” Ashley waited until he turned back to her, then tossed her head. His breath caught at the image of her dark hair falling like silk around her shoulders. “Because I have, Cal.”

“But what about us?” Cal demanded, hating the need radiating in his low voice. He tried so hard not to be selfish.

Hope shone in her china-blue eyes. “You could move here in eighteen months, when your contract with the medical center in Holly Springs is up. There are plenty of athletes in Hawaii, and on the West Coast, who would be lucky to have a physician of your expertise.”

Cal knew she was avoiding the point. “Your coming to Hawaii was supposed to be a temporary measure,” he reminded her coolly. A move made more out of necessity than choice.

Abruptly, Ashley stilled. She looked wary—as if she were afraid to commit herself too fully to him and their marriage again. As if she wanted them to continue the long-distance charade of a marriage. “Things change, Cal,” she told him softly.

And not always for the better, Cal thought.

He had never understood why Ashley had withdrawn emotionally from him in the first six months of their marriage. True, it had been a hellishly bad spring and summer. The fellowship program Ashley had been enrolled in had abruptly lost its director and its funding. She’d had to scramble to find a place that could take her as a second-year fellowship student, while he was studying for the medical boards that he had to pass in order to practice orthopedic and sports medicine. A physician in training herself, Ashley should have understood the kind of pressure he was under. She’d certainly said she did. But that whole summer, she’d been on an emotional roller coaster—crying one minute, too quiet the next. First overeating to the point she had gained weight, then barely eating at all.

He’d known she was in a crisis brought on by the potential interruption of her education. But overwhelmed by his own mountain of studying, he realized in retrospect that he hadn’t been there for her or helped her as much as he should have. By the time he had completed his testing, she had already secured another fellowship and left for Hawaii.