Lonetree Ranchers: Colt

“Yes.”

“You should have told me,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. “I would have helped.”

“I didn’t want or need your assistance.” Her voice shook with emotion. “I never wanted you to know about Amber.”

“Why, Kaylee?” He’d never seen her this stubborn. But then, he was just as determined. “What made you think I didn’t have the right to know that I’d fathered a child?”

“You gave up the right,” she said without looking at him. Her voice was a little more calm, but her words couldn’t have held more resolution.

His own irritation won over his vow to remain coolheaded. “How the hell do you figure that?”

“The morning after Mitch’s funeral I got the message loud and clear.” She met his gaze head-on and the mixture of hurt and resentment sparkling in her eyes stopped him cold. “You wanted nothing more to do with me. When I discovered I was pregnant, I assumed those feelings would encompass my baby, as well.”

The guilt that had plagued him for the past three years increased tenfold. He’d not only slept with his best friend’s sister the night after they’d laid the man to rest, he’d taken her virginity. Colt knew that he’d handled things badly the morning after he’d made love to her, but he’d been so ashamed of his actions, he hadn’t been able to face himself let alone her.

“Kaylee, that’s not the way it was. I—”

“Oh, really?” she interrupted hotly. “Just how many times in the past three years have you tried to get in touch with me, Colt?”

He didn’t think it was possible to feel lower than he already did, but Kaylee had just proven him wrong. “I know that if they handed out prizes for tactless jackasses, I’d win hands down. But there’s a reason—”

“Too little, too late,” she said, rising to her feet. “I’m really not interested in hearing why you left that morning without waking me or even leaving a note.” She picked up his untouched coffee and poured it down the sink.

“Hey, I’m not finished with—”

“Yes, you are.” She walked to the door. “I’d appreciate it if you’d go now. All I’m interested in is you leaving Amber…and me alone. We’ve done just fine…without you.”

He detected the hitch in Kaylee’s voice and knew she was fighting tears. The thought that he’d caused her such emotional pain made him feel physically ill.

Taking a deep breath, he rose and followed her. He needed time to come to grips with everything that he’d learned in the past hour, as well as to figure out how to make Kaylee listen to him. “I think it would be best if we continue this conversation after we’ve both had a chance—”

“No, Colt,” she said, shaking her head. “You gave up that chance three years ago when you left me behind without a backward glance. You got what you wanted, now let me have…what I want.”

The single tear sliding down her pale cheek just about tore him apart. “What do you want, Kaylee?”

She took a deep breath and impatiently wiped the droplet away with a trembling hand, then pointed toward the door. “I want you to walk out…the way you did that morning three years ago and…never look back.”

“I can’t do that, honey,” he said, reaching out to wipe another tear from her satiny skin with the pad of his thumb. “I’ll be back tomorrow after we’ve both calmed down.”

“Please…don’t.” Tears coursed down her cheeks unchecked as she stepped away from his touch. “It would be best…if you went back…to the Lonetree Ranch in Wyoming and forgot…we exist.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Colt said gently.

He picked up his Resistol and placed it on his head, then looked over at Amber playing quietly with her toys. She was curiously watching him. But the moment she realized he was looking back at her, she smiled shyly and hid her face behind the teddy bear in her tiny hands.

He fell in love with his daughter right then and there.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Turning to open the door, he didn’t think twice about leaning down to place a kiss on Kaylee’s tear-stained cheek. “We’ll get all of this worked out, honey. I promise.”

The next day Kaylee nervously sat at the kitchen table awaiting Colt’s return. She dreaded the upcoming confrontation, but at the same time, a small part of her looked forward to seeing him again. And that was a huge problem.

She’d fallen in love with Colt Wakefield almost the moment she’d met him. Her mother had called it a schoolgirl crush and told her that she’d grow out of it in time. But Kaylee had always known better. Over the years her feelings for him hadn’t diminished, they’d only grown stronger.

But after that fateful morning when she’d awakened to find him gone, she’d forced herself to forget about him and to move on. She’d had to. She wouldn’t have survived the past few years if she hadn’t.

Unfortunately she’d discovered yesterday afternoon that he still affected her in ways she thought she’d put behind her. When Colt touched her, she’d felt the familiar racing of her heart, the jolt of excitement that being near him had always caused. But the most disturbing discovery of all had been the fact that he still had the power to cause her emotional pain.

“Mommy, see!”

Kaylee looked up to watch Amber laugh and point to the animated vegetables dancing and singing their way across the television screen.

Smiling, she walked into the living room to join her daughter. “You like that don’t you, sweetie?”

“No,” Amber said, her soft shoulder-length curls bouncing as she nodded her little head affirmatively.

Kaylee grinned. One of these days Amber would get the words and the body language synchronized. As she gazed at her daughter, Kaylee was once again struck by how much Amber looked like Colt. The resemblance was amazing, and she had known the minute he saw Amber that he’d realize she was his child. She had the same dark hair and vivid blue eyes that all the Wakefields shared.

Lost in thought, the ringing doorbell caused her to jump and sent Amber scurrying to wrap her arms around Kaylee’s legs. Amber wasn’t used to strangers and tended to be extremely shy.

Picking her daughter up, Kaylee didn’t bother turning on the snarling dog tape as she moved to answer the door. There was no need. She knew who would be waiting on the other side.

“Hi,” Colt said when she opened the door. He picked up a shopping bag sitting at his booted feet. “Sorry I’m a little late, but I stopped by a toy store to get something for Amber.”

Amber’s face was already buried in Kaylee’s neck and the sound of Colt’s deep baritone saying her name caused her to tighten her little arms around Kaylee’s neck.

Stepping away for him to enter, Kaylee patted Amber’s back in an effort to soothe her. “I see you didn’t bother listening to me yesterday when I asked you to leave us alone.”

His smile sent a shiver up her spine. “Did you really expect me to?”

“No.” She sighed heavily. Why did he have to be so darned good-looking? So charming?

“Amber, I brought you something,” he said softly.

“She’s not used to strangers,” Kaylee said when Amber continued to keep her face hidden. “And especially men.”

Colt’s piercing blue eyes met hers and she could tell that he was speculating about her social life— specifically her social life with men. “She hasn’t been around a lot of men?” he finally asked.

“Not really,” Kaylee answered evasively.

If circumstances had been different, she might have laughed out loud. She hadn’t been out on a date in the past three years. But Colt didn’t need to know that.

The cad had the audacity to look relieved. “That’s going to change,” he said, sounding quite confident. “She’ll get used to me being around all the time.”

All the time?

Kaylee’s heart skipped a beat. She definitely didn’t like the sound of that. She’d done a lot of thinking since yesterday afternoon and she’d conceded that she couldn’t deny Amber the chance to get to know the man who was responsible for her existence. But there were going to be limits set.

“Colt, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Why not?” he asked, wincing as he adjusted the sling holding his left arm immobile.

“Do you still have a lot of pain from the broken collarbone?” She hoped to divert the conversation into safer territory.

“Not really.” He removed his Resistol and placed it on the shelf with her tape player. “But I anticipate that will change when I start physical therapy.”

“If the therapy is done right, and you don’t overwork your shoulder too soon, you shouldn’t have anything more than a little minor soreness.” When she felt Amber begin to loosen her hold, signaling that she was becoming accustomed to Colt’s presence, Kaylee walked over to sit her daughter down in front of the television. “When do you start therapy?”

“In another week or two,” he answered. “I’ve been doing some simple range-of-motion stuff, but that’s about it.”

She heard him rummage through the shopping bag and, when she turned around, watched him struggle to pull out a large rag doll. Unable to use both of his hands, he’d gotten the doll tangled in the bag handles.

“Let me,” she said, walking over to help him. Reaching to work the doll’s leg free, his hand touched hers. Kaylee jerked back from the scorching contact and handed the doll to him. “A-Amber will like this.”

He stared at her for several long seconds before he cleared his throat and asked, “Do you think it would frighten her if I gave it to her now?”

The look on his handsome face took Kaylee by surprise. It was the first time she ever remembered seeing Colt look uncertain.

“Maybe in a few minutes. She’s just getting adjusted to you being here.” Kaylee’s heart went out to him even if she wasn’t particularly comfortable with the feeling. It was clear Colt wanted to get to know Amber, but didn’t want to do anything that would upset her. “Let’s sit in the living room. You’ll be close to her, but not so much that she’ll feel threatened.”

“Okay. We can talk while Amber gets used to me.” He followed her over to sit on the couch, and she could feel his gaze on her backside just as surely as if he touched her.

When they were settled on the sagging blue cushions, Kaylee found it hard to breathe. Glancing at her daughter to keep from looking at Colt, she noticed Amber looking at them curiously.

“It’s all right, sweetie. Colt is a friend.”

“I’m your daddy,” he said, his voice gentle. Turning to Kaylee, he firmly added, “I don’t want her to ever doubt that.”

Amber didn’t seem to pick up on the sudden tension between the two adults as she turned her attention back to the television.

But Kaylee did, and it only served to increase her apprehension. Hoping to take the lead in what she knew would be a difficult conversation, she said, “Colt, I’ve done a lot of thinking about our situation—”

“I haven’t been able to think of anything else,” he said, nodding. “And this isn’t something that can be resolved overnight.”

“No, it’s not. It’s going to take time for us—”

“I’m glad you agree,” he said, smiling. “It will make everything a lot easier on all concerned.”

Where was he going with this? And why did he keep interrupting her?

“What’s going on, Colt?” she asked, not at all sure she wanted to know.

“I doubt that you’re going to like what I’m going to suggest.”

She doubted that she would, either. His tone was relaxed, but from the serious look on his face, she could tell he was anything but nonchalant about what he was going to say.

“Tell me what you have in mind and we’ll see,” she said cautiously.

“I want you and Amber to come back to the Lonetree with me.”

She couldn’t believe he’d come up with something so outlandish. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m very serious, Kaylee.” The determination in his brilliant blue eyes startled her. “I intend to get to know my daughter.”

“You can get to know Amber right here,” she argued. There was no way she would agree to go to his ranch in Wyoming.

“No, I can’t.” He turned his gaze to watch Amber play quietly with some of her toys. “If I tried to get to know her here, I’d just end up being some guy who stopped by once in a while and who she’d end up forgetting between visits.”

“It works for other fathers,” Kaylee insisted, feeling desperate. She had to make him see reason. “It would work for you and Amber.”

Colt shook his head. “Maybe if I’d been part of her life from the beginning, but not now.” He glanced back at Amber. “I’m going to be her daddy, not just a man who claims to be her father.”

Kaylee shook her head. “I can’t take time off at the hospital. I’d lose my job.”

“No, you won’t.” His knowing grin sent a chill slithering up her spine. “I’ve already talked to your superior.”

“You did what?” Her temper flared and she had to concentrate hard on keeping her voice even so as not to upset Amber. “You couldn’t possibly have talked to anyone about my taking time off. It’s Sunday. The physical therapy unit is closed.”

“I have my ways,” he said, sounding so darned smug that she was sorely tempted to belt him one.

But thinking about what he said, Kaylee suddenly felt cold all over. “What did you do?”

He casually rested his right arm along the back of the couch. “I got in touch with Dr. Carson and had him find out which hospital sent you over to work the PBR event last month. He also gave me the name and phone number of your boss.”

Kaylee couldn’t believe Colt’s arrogance. “You called Brad at home?”

Grinning, Colt nodded. “Once I explained the situation—”

She felt the blood drain from her face. She’d made it a point not to discuss anything about her private life with her co-workers. “Please, tell me you didn’t—”

He shook his head as he played with a lock of her hair. “No, honey, I didn’t tell him the whole story. That’s nobody’s business but ours. But I did tell him there was a family crisis that needed your attention and asked if you could get a couple of months off.” He smiled. “All you’ll have to do is stop by the office tomorrow to sign the papers for your leave of absence.”

Anger so intense that she actually started shaking ran through her. “How dare you?” Unable to sit still, Kaylee rose to pace the length of the small living room. “It’s one thing for you to walk in and start telling me you want to be a part of my daughter’s life, but—”

“Our daughter,” he corrected.

Upset by the angry voices, Amber started to cry. She crawled over to Kaylee and wrapped her arms around her mother’s leg. “M-mommy!”

Ignoring Colt, Kaylee picked up the baby and held her close as she continued. “You can’t take matters into your own hands and make a decision like that for me.” She stopped to glare at him. “I can’t afford to take time off. I have rent, a car payment and—”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Oh, no, you won’t.” She clutched Amber. “I don’t want anything from you.”

Standing, he walked over to her. “Be reasonable, Kaylee. The way I see it, I owe you a little over two years of back child support, and besides, I’d like to hire you to help me get back in shape for the PBR finals the first part of November. You can return here after we get back from Vegas.”

“I don’t want your money,” she said stubbornly. “And I won’t help you regain your strength just so you can go back into an arena and risk your life riding a bull for eight seconds’ worth of thrills.”

“When I come to pick up you and Amber tomorrow morning, I’ll stop by the manager’s office and take care of the rent, as well as having him see that the utilities are shut off,” Colt went on as if he hadn’t listened to a word she’d said. “Besides, Kaylee, you owe me.”

“Oh, really? How do you figure that?” she asked hotly.

His intense blue gaze held hers captive. “You deprived me of Amber’s first two years. You owe me the right to get to know her now.”

Kaylee felt her life spinning out of control with no way to stop it. She had a frightened baby screaming in her ear and an infuriating, sexy-as-sin cowboy standing over her, telling her that he was taking over her life. It was enough to wear the Rock of Gibraltar down to an insignificant pebble.

“Please, don’t do this to me, Colt,” she whispered, feeling more trapped than she’d ever felt in her entire life.

He reached out to cup her cheek. “I love Amber, and I want her to love me. Please give us the chance to develop a relationship, Kaylee.”

The weight of guilt settling over Kaylee’s shoulders couldn’t possibly have felt heavier. As much as she disliked having to admit it, she had been unfair to both Colt and Amber by keeping her secret. Kaylee knew beyond a shadow of doubt that no matter how much he wanted to forget their night together had ever happened, he would have loved and cared for his child from the very moment he learned of her existence.

Tears filled Kaylee’s eyes. She’d kept Colt from knowing about his child because of her own hurt feelings and disillusion. In the process, she’d deprived Amber of a daddy who cared deeply for her.

“What do you say, Kaylee?” he asked, wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Will you and Amber came home with me to the Lonetree?”

She gazed up at the man she’d once loved with all her heart and soul. He was right. She did owe him and Amber the time together. But it was going to take everything she had in her to keep her wits about her while she was with him. If she didn’t, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t end up falling under his magnetic spell all over again. And that was something she couldn’t allow herself to do. Her survival depended on it.

“I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this,” she finally said, feeling her insides shake like a bowl full of Jell-O.

“You’ll go?” he asked hopefully.

Taking a deep breath, Kaylee felt as if she was stepping out onto a tight rope with no safety net below. “Yes, we’ll go to the Lonetree with you. But only until you get ready to leave for the season finals. Amber and I won’t be going to Las Vegas with you.”

“We’ll see about that.”

The smile he sent her way curled her toes and already had her regretting her decision to go to the Lonetree Ranch with him for the next two months.

Three

“Dammit all,” Colt muttered, cursing the fact that he still couldn’t use his left arm. Not being able to use both hands made installing Amber’s car seat in his truck extremely difficult.

“Problems?” Kaylee asked.

Turning, he watched her walk toward him. She held Amber in her arms.

“I could use another hand getting this car seat secured,” he said, hating that he looked helpless and inadequate in front of her.

Kaylee set Amber on her feet. “Stay right here, sweetie, while Mommy helps Colt with your seat.”

“Daddy,” he said firmly. “I’m her daddy, Kaylee.”

She stared up at him a moment before she gave a quick nod. “I’m going to help your…daddy, Amber.”

Her reluctance to acknowledge him as Amber’s father cut like a knife, but Colt ignored it. Once they got to the Lonetree they’d have plenty of time to sort things out and, hopefully, to rebuild the friendship they’d once shared. It would make their raising Amber together a whole hell of a lot easier.

A small sound caught Colt’s attention. Glancing down, he noticed his daughter curiously watching him. But the moment she saw him look at her, she ducked behind Kaylee’s leg.

“How long do you think it will take for her to be comfortable with me?” he asked, wondering the same thing about Kaylee. Would she ever again be at ease when she was around him?

“I’m not sure.” She stared at him for endless seconds before she added, “This is new territory for all of us. It’s going to take time.”

Colt knew she was referring more to herself than their daughter. Deciding not to push for more, he reached into the truck to position the car seat. “Are you about ready to leave? I’d like to get on the road. We have a long drive and I’d like to get as far as we can before we stop for the night.”

“Stop?”

When she turned to look at him, Kaylee’s breast brushed his arm. His mouth went as dry as a pile of sawdust. “I—” he had to stop to clear his throat “—thought it would probably be best for Amber if we broke the trip into two days.”

It took everything Colt had in him not to groan out loud when Kaylee’s tongue darted out to moisten her perfect coral lips. “You’re probably right,” she finally answered. Backing away from him, she picked up Amber and started toward the stairs leading to the second floor of the apartment building. “I’ll go check to make sure we brought all of the luggage down and grab Amber’s bag of toys.”

Colt waited until Kaylee climbed the steps and disappeared into her apartment before he finally managed to take another breath. Glancing at his scuffed boots, he kicked a pebble and watched it skitter across the asphalt parking lot. He hated that he’d had to resort to making her feel guilty to get her to go to the Lonetree with him. But, dammit, he needed time to get to know Amber, time to work out some kind of shared custody agreement, and time to make amends with Kaylee for what had happened three years ago.

He ran his hand around the back of his neck in an effort to ease some of the tension that had knotted his muscles since Saturday afternoon and his discovery that he’d fathered a child. How was he ever going to convince Kaylee that she wasn’t the reason he’d walked away that morning? How was he going to explain that he’d felt as if he’d betrayed Mitch’s friendship? And how was he going to make her understand that he’d been so ashamed of his actions, he hadn’t been able to face himself, let alone face her?

“If they gave medals for screwing up, you’d win hands down, Wakefield,” he muttered disgustedly.

He wasn’t quite sure how to go about doing it, but he was determined to straighten everything out with Kaylee. He had to. His, hers and Amber’s future happiness depended on it.

“Out, Mommy, out,” Amber said, impatiently tugging on the harness holding her in the car seat.

“Just a few more minutes, sweetie,” Kaylee answered as she watched Colt enter the motel lobby. “Colt…your daddy is going to get a couple of rooms for us to sleep in tonight.”

Amber blinked and nodded her head. “Not seepy.”

“I know you’re not sleepy right now,” Kaylee said, smiling. “But you will be later.”

She absently watched Colt as he talked to the desk clerk. He’d decided to stop in Hays, Kansas, for the night even though it was early and they could have driven for several more hours. His excuse had been that he didn’t want the trip to be too tiring for Amber. But Kaylee suspected his collarbone bothered him. She also knew that if that was the case, he’d never admit it. For Colt and most of the other cowboys on the PBR and professional rodeo circuits, admitting any kind of weakness was unheard of.

“Did you get rooms on the ground floor or the second level?” Kaylee asked when he got back into the truck.

“Ground floor.” He put the truck into gear. “I figured it would be easier.”

She didn’t have to ask what he meant. She already knew. He intended to carry what few bags they took to their rooms himself, just as he’d insisted on carrying all of her luggage from the apartment to his truck this morning. Unable to use his left arm, it had taken him several trips to get everything downstairs, but he wouldn’t hear of her helping.

“I’ll carry our bag to mine and Amber’s room,” she said firmly when he pulled into a parking space at the side of the stucco building.

“Our room.”

Kaylee stopped unbuckling Amber’s shoulder harness to stare at him. “You rented only one room?”

“Yep.”

Her heart hammered against her rib cage. “There weren’t any more available?”

“I don’t know how many they had available,” he answered, sounding so darned unconcerned she wanted to throttle him. “I didn’t ask.”

When he moved to get out of the truck, she took hold of his arm to stop him. “You want to give me a reason for not getting the second room?” she asked, doing her best to keep her voice level.