Cole's Christmas Wish

Even so, as crazy as it sounded, Rachel yearned for love and everything that came with finding the right man. She wanted a family, dammit. She wanted grocery shopping and carpools, fat babies who would become mouthy teenagers, school bake sales and PTA meetings, picnics and backyard barbecues, and she wanted all of that with a man who loved her senseless.

Almost without thought, her eyes landed on Cole, and her heart sort of liquefied and slid to her knees. She’d screwed up there, she knew. And that screw-up had possibly caused her to lose out on something amazing. Maybe even something life-altering.

They were okay now, mostly, she thought. But her regret lived on. And that was why, despite her misgivings, she refused to run away from Andrew. The fear curdling in her belly, keeping her awake at night whenever she considered a future with Andrew, was the same exact fear that had propelled her to run away from her sole regret.

From Cole.

Rachel pushed out a ragged sigh. Her friendship with Cole made more sense than a lost opportunity, and was certainly far more important than a relationship that had never existed. Their friendship was real. Solid. Lasting. That brief flame so long ago? Meaningless.

Of course being here would stir up old memories. One year ago, she’d had all these possibilities in her head when Cole had asked her to visit for the holidays. But he’d made it clear—crystal, even—that it was their friendship he valued, had missed. Not the other.

And then Andrew had walked into her life and dazzled her with his charm and sweetness. With the traits that reminded her of Cole, and those that didn’t. He desired her. He talked about making a life together. That was real. That was solid. Was it lasting? Maybe.

That was what this trip was really about. She felt sure she could find a way to be head over heels with Andrew by Christmas, here in her favorite city, with an up-close and personal reminder of what she’d lost due to fear.

All she had to do was relax and stop thinking—analyzing—so much, open her heart and let herself take the tumble. How hard could it be?

Feeling somewhat calmer, Rachel tried to catch the men’s attention by gesturing toward the restrooms. Cole noticed, smiled and nodded, and returned to talking with Andrew. She waited for Andrew to glance her way, but he didn’t.

He was too focused on Cole, on whatever Cole was saying. Maybe, without her presence, they’d found some common ground. She hoped so. Otherwise, the next few weeks were going to be even tougher than she’d expected. And that... Well, that wouldn’t help her cause at all.

Chapter Two

Rachel took her time freshening up, needing a few minutes of privacy to settle her churning emotions. When she returned to the table, the men were waiting silently with rigid shoulders and hard, stony jaws. Okay, so that was a no to them finding some common ground.

She slid into place next to Andrew and wrapped her hand around the whipped-cream, syrup-drizzled cappuccino sitting in front of her. Unsure of how to proceed, she sipped her coffee slowly, her mind thinking of and rejecting possible topics of conversation.

“This is so good,” she said, infusing brightness into her tone. “What did you two get?”

“Black coffee,” they both said at the same time, in identical flat inflections.

Aha! Common ground. Going with it, Rachel said, “Well, they have great coffee here.”

“They do.” Cole’s lips twitched into an almost grin. “Want me to get you some?”

“But I—”

“Because what you’re drinking,” Andrew said matter-of-factly, “isn’t coffee.”

Cole’s grin widened a hair. “Nope. What you have there, Rachel, is dessert.”

“Wow, like minds and all that.” Rachel took another hefty swallow of her “dessert,” and said, “Is this one of those ‘real men don’t eat quiche’ sort of things? Or in this case, real men don’t drink fancy coffees?”

“Nah. I like quiche.” Cole picked up a napkin, leaned across the table and wiped the corner of Rachel’s mouth. The touch was quick and effortless, but a flood of warmth overtook her just the same. “A little whipped cream was...er...anyway, it’s gone now.”

She felt more than saw Andrew stiffen beside her. In another second, his arm was cradled over her shoulders. He tipped her chin toward him and kissed her. Also quick. Also effortless.

“There. Now it’s all gone.” Andrew settled into his prior position, keeping his arm snug around her. “I hope that didn’t make you uncomfortable, Kyle. She’s just so kissable, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Not at all,” Cole said with a good ole boy grin and a laidback shrug. “Nothing there to feel embarrassed about. Why, I’ve given my mother the same type of affectionate peck in public on more than one occasion.” He winked at Rachel. “My sister, too, now that I think about it.”

“Didn’t say I was embarrassed.” Andrew shifted an inch closer to Rachel. “Some people dislike public displays of affection. I belatedly thought you might be one of them.”

“Nope.” Again with the shrug. “But I appreciate your concern.”

“Wow, is it cold outside!” Rachel blurted before Andrew could respond. She faked a shiver. “So...cold. I still haven’t warmed up from the...um...short walk here from the car.”

“We could be in Hawaii right now, sipping mai tais by the ocean.” Andrew kissed Rachel again, this time on the top of her head. “If you’re having second thoughts, we could be on a plane tomorrow. All you have to do is say the word.”

Cole’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. Rachel understood why. She and Cole had made plans before Andrew had asked to join her...which he hadn’t done until after Rachel had refused to cancel this visit to go with him to Hawaii.

She guessed Andrew saw that as choosing Cole over him, but that wasn’t the case. Not really. Mostly, it was about going home for the holidays. Because in many ways, Steamboat Springs was the closest she’d ever had to a real home.

Due to Cole and his family, though, not hers.

“I’m not having second thoughts, but I like the idea of going to Hawaii for your birthday in May. If you still want to.”

“Of course I do.” Andrew’s voice was smooth. “I simply wanted to give you the option, now that you’ve seen your friend.”

“Thank you, but I’m good. And we’ll have fun here!” She patted Andrew’s arm. “You’ll soon see why I love Steamboat Springs so much, especially at Christmas.”

“You’ve never been here before, Andy?” Cole relaxed in his seat, looking for all the world as a man completely at ease. “Odd, but I swore I recognized you when you walked in. A lot of people come through here every year...thought maybe you’d vacationed with an ex-girlfriend. Or, perhaps, an ex-wife?”

Good grief. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. “Andrew doesn’t have any ex-wives.”

“And I never will. I don’t believe in divorce.”

“Who does? I doubt anyone marries believing they’ll divorce,” Cole said in a conversational, let’s-get-to-know-each-other manner. “But divorce happens. Sometimes, folks marry too young, pick the wrong person, make mistakes in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, a relationship becomes so messy that divorce becomes the only option that makes any sense.”

He spoke from experience. His brother Dylan was divorced. In his case, they were married too young, she cheated and became pregnant, and ran off with the other guy. So while Rachel didn’t believe in divorce, either, she agreed with Cole’s take.

Heck, she’d be the first to stand up and cheer if her parents untied the matrimonial knot.

“You’re right, but only to a point. A lot of those scenarios can be written off as the result of poor decisions before a proposal is given...or accepted.” Andrew clasped her hand tightly in his. “When I put a ring on a woman’s finger, it will be forever.”

Cole leveled a weighted, questioning stare on Rachel. “Life can often be...unexpected. It’s how each person reacts to some of those moments that can make or break a relationship.” Pausing, he bent his head ever so slightly toward Andrew, but kept his sinfully dark eyes glued to hers. “You can analyze all you want, think every last thing through, and you still won’t know for sure until you’re in hip-deep. In my opinion, of course.”

The urge to squirm came on strong, but she ignored it. Was he referring to her littered-with-broken-relationships past, or was he sending her some type of a hidden message regarding Andrew? Darn if she knew. For not the first time in Rachel’s life, she wished she could read Cole’s thoughts.

“Anyway,” she said, drawing the word out slowly, “Andrew hasn’t been to this part of Colorado before, so I have a lot to show him. I can’t wait to take him skiing.”

One of Cole’s eyebrows shot up. He looked at Andrew. “Is that so? Are you a skier?”

“No, I’m not. But—”

“Snowboarding, then?”

“No,” Andrew repeated. “I’ve skied before, naturally, but my skill level is that of a beginner. But for Rachel, I’m willing to give the sport another try.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Cole said, “That’s good. Rachel loves to ski...snowboard...ice skate.” Pure pleasure gleamed in his voice, in his eyes. “And, going back to your earlier comment, sharing the same interests is important in any successful relationship. Again, in my opinion.”

Andrew sat up straighter. “Which is why I’m excited to give the sport another try. As I said.”

“Well, what you said,” Cole drawled, “was that you were willing to try. Not quite the same as excited.”

She was, maybe, three seconds away from clobbering them both. Right on top of their manly heads. “There are lots of interests that Andrew and I share. We bike, go to the gym...um...horses! I love horseback riding and Andrew is an excellent horseman. He grew up on a ranch in Texas.”

“That’s great to hear. Plenty of horseback riding to have here in Colorado. I still think, though—” Cole broke off and scratched his jaw “—I know! How about if we pick a day and hit the bunny slope, Andrew? We can go over the basics, get you up to speed, as it were.”

“I can handle a bit more than the bunny slope,” Andrew replied in a dry manner. “And frankly, I’d rather have my girlfriend as my teacher. I think of it as one more way for us to grow closer. Which is, after all, an important aspect of this visit.”

Cole glanced at Rachel and her frisson of alarm escalated. She knew that expression. It meant trouble with a capital T. Darn it all, what had he latched on to now? She reached toward him, intent on grabbing his arm to divert his attention, but he leaned away before she could get a proper hold. Her fingers skimmed against his skin and the mere touch sent a bolt of heady awareness through her body, startling her with its strength.

“Wow, guys. I’m sorry to hear that. I mean,” he said with a slow, methodical beat, “if you need a vacation to grow closer, something must not be going well. Let me know if I can be of any help...anything at all, just say the word.”

“Our relationship is fine,” Andrew snapped. “If there were problems, I wouldn’t assume a vacation could fix them.”

“We’re absolutely fine!” Rachel said a good deal louder than necessary. Andrew’s declaration stung, though. She had, indeed, brought Andrew with her in the hopes the time away, the time together, would erase her reservations. “Just fine.”

“Ah, hell. I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot.” Cole held his hands up, gesturing a truce. “Forget I said anything. I’m sure you guys are...fine. Just as you’ve both said.”

Itchy with frustration and nerves, Rachel did the only thing she could think of: she changed the subject. Again. “How’s business at the store this year, Cole?”

“Same as always during the winter months” was his quick, humor-ridden, reply. “Lots of folks in and out. Between rentals and new sales, classes, and private lessons, we’re doing well.”

Andrew tightened his hold on Rachel’s shoulder. “That’s right. You work for your parents now. I hear you were quite the skier in your day, so I’d imagine the unexpected, even traumatic, change in careers could feel...stifling? Limiting, perhaps?”

Whoa. Rachel pulled out of Andrew’s grasp, shocked by his words, his rudeness and his insinuation. He was never like this, never purposely hurtful to anyone. Jealous or not, uncomfortable or not, he’d gone too far.

“You don’t understand how the Foster family functions, Andrew,” she said. “Cole and his siblings are an integral part of the family-owned businesses. They manage, work and own them together. Isn’t that right, Cole?”

“That’s correct,” Cole answered, still appearing more amused than anything else. “But no, Andrew, there isn’t anything stifling about the arrangement. I’m grateful to my folks for what their hard work and commitment has provided me and my brothers and sister with.”

After a lengthy pause, Andrew combed his fingers through his short hair and sighed. “My comment was uncalled for. I apologize.”

“No harm done,” Cole said with ease. “My family is exceedingly close. Sometimes, a bit too close, but we are what we are and I wouldn’t want anything to change.”

“That’s important,” Andrew said, his voice almost gruff. “My family...isn’t as close. You’re a lucky man.”

In a heartbeat, Rachel forgave Andrew for his jab. Something had happened to put distance between him and his family. She didn’t know the details, but she knew he missed them.

“I am lucky,” Cole agreed. “In many ways.”

“I consider myself fortunate, as well, for finding Rachel.” Andrew exhaled a breath, and when he spoke again, she heard the man she’d been dating for the past few months instead of the stranger he’d become upon meeting Cole. “Are you seeing anyone special, Cole?”

Every one of Rachel’s knotted muscles relaxed. The posturing was finally over, thank goodness and hallelujah. Maybe now, the two men would find some true common ground.

She waited for Cole to answer Andrew’s question, but when he didn’t, she did for him, saying, “Nope. Cole isn’t dating anyone.”

After all, Cole would’ve told her if he’d met someone. He always had in the past. And in truth, Cole rarely dated. It was something she used to tease him about, way back when.

A prickle of apprehension appeared at the nape of her neck a millisecond before Cole said, “Actually, Rach...I’ve been meaning to tell you—” He paused, locked his vision with hers and thrummed his fingers against the table. The rat-a-tat-tat beat mimicked the pounding of her heart. “There is someone in my life. Someone special.”

No way. She must have heard him wrong. “You’re seeing someone? Someone...special? Really?”

One by one, each muscle in her body tensed again as she waited, as she tried to come to grips with the possibility that Cole was involved in a serious relationship. With someone special, someone important.

Someone who wasn’t her.

“Yes,” he said firmly, still looking directly, almost intensely, at her. “There is an important woman in my life. She might even be—no, she definitely is—the one for me.”

“Okay.” Rachel swallowed and tried to push past the nausea that had crawled into her throat. Why did this bother her so much? They were friends. She’d accepted that and had moved on. She shouldn’t care. At all. “Well, that’s...great news! Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Of course, she hadn’t mentioned Andrew until a week ago, so who was she to throw stones? Relationships were private. Cole was a private man. He had the right to keep anything to himself for as long as he chose. Solid logic, but his secrecy bugged her. A lot.

Cole shrugged. “You’re hearing about her now, and—” Andrew’s cell phone buzzed, stopping Cole short.

“I need to take this,” Andrew said after glancing at the display. He stood. “Excuse me for a minute.”

She watched Andrew step away from the table. Refocusing on Cole, she said, “Go on. What’s her name? And what do you mean she’s the one for you? When...um, when did you meet her?”

“None of that’s important right now.” Cole angled his body toward her, so they were eye to eye, and clasped Rachel’s hands in his. The heat of his touch didn’t come close to thawing her sudden chill. “I’m a goner, Rachel. I’ve fallen in love and there’s no looking back.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“What do you think?”

Rachel stared into the eyes she knew so well. Eyes she’d seen filled with almost every emotion in the book. And now, she saw something intense and passionate lurking in the depths, along with a desperation that made her heart ache. In other words, she saw love.

Every instinct she had wanted to deny what she saw, but she couldn’t. “I think I have to meet the woman who finally captured Cole Foster’s heart,” Rachel whispered in shock. “I never thought...never...” She blinked. “Well, isn’t this terrific? I’m so happy for you.”

Leaning in closer, Cole plopped a friendly—brotherly—kiss on her cheek before easing away again. “You’re with Andrew and think he might be the one. I’ve fallen in love with someone I know is the one. I have a hunch,” he said with a wink, “that this Christmas will be very memorable.”

“Right. Memorable.” That was one description.

“You look a little pale, Rach. Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh, yes! I’m just...tired.” She gulped another large mouthful of coffee. “You know how traveling is.”

“I do.”

She tried to think of something, anything, to say to fill the gap, but couldn’t. Cole was in love. That was fine! Of course it was. She had Andrew, for crying out loud. “Um. Andrew should be back any minute,” she mumbled. “That was probably a business call.”

“Business on vacation, huh? He must be dedicated.”

“He is. He... I know he wasn’t on his best behavior at first,” she said, suddenly finding it very important to build up Andrew. For her sake or for Cole’s, she didn’t know. Even so. “But he really is a great guy.”

“I’m sure he is,” Cole agreed.

“Just...give him a chance before deciding you don’t like him. That’s all I ask.”

“I can do that. He took me off guard with that Kyle crap, but it’s obvious he cares a lot about you. The fact he does, and makes no bones about it, goes a long way for me.”

“So...are you saying you approve?”

“You don’t need my approval, Rach,” Cole said quietly. “You know that, right?”

Rachel shook her head, still trying to clear cobwebs. “Yeah. Of course I do.”

Cole beamed a smile. “Just like I don’t need yours.”

“Right. No approval necessary.” She sucked in a breath, taking the air in so deep it almost hurt. “But I’d like to meet your...girlfriend. I mean, if she’s going to be a part of your life...”

“I’d like that, too. Unfortunately, Cupcake—that’s what I call her—is a little shy. Might take some time, convincing her to agree to an introduction.” Pausing, Cole closed his eyes as if thinking something through. “Maybe if it were just you at that first meeting, that would be okay. Less...intimidating than introducing her to you and Andrew at the same time.”

“Sure,” she said without thought. Cupcake? He called her Cupcake? Cole didn’t do terms of endearment. Or he never had before. “Andrew can stay at the house.”

“He won’t mind?” The concerned pretense from earlier returned. “Gee, I don’t know about that. I’d hate to cause problems while you’re trying to...repair your relationship.”

“We’re fine, we’re not—” Screw it. Let him think what he wanted. Besides, he wasn’t wholly off base, even if Andrew hadn’t yet arrived at that realization. “That isn’t an issue.”

“I’d also hate to upset him by taking up too much of your time,” Cole said in complete and utter sincerity. “From what I gathered, Andrew appears to have a jealous nature.”

“Now that Andrew is aware you’re in love with another woman,” Rachel said, nearly choking on the admittance, on the reality of the situation, “I expect the jealousy to fade.”

Cole hesitated, as if mulling over the idea. Finally, he nodded. “Well, then, I’ll set something up. Just try to keep your schedule open. Convincing my Cupcake to step out of her shell won’t be all that easy. And while she isn’t impatient, exactly, once she makes her mind up about something, she can be rather determined.”

“What is she? Shy or bossy?” Rachel said the words that popped into her head, even though she probably shouldn’t have. “Because by your definition, she’s both, and honestly, I haven’t met very many people who fall into both categories.”

“Let’s call her...complicated. That’s a good word to describe this particular woman.”

“Complicated?” She snapped her mouth shut and silently counted to ten. Cole jumping through hoops to please some shy, determined, complicated woman didn’t sound encouraging. It was annoying. And the image, the very thought of it, rubbed Rachel in all the wrong ways. “I already don’t like this woman,” she muttered.

“What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

Gripping her coffee cup so hard that her knuckles ached, Rachel forced her mouth to move into a smile. “I said that I can’t wait to meet this woman.”

“I knew you’d be excited for me.” Cole reached over to tug a lock of Rachel’s hair, just as she’d seen him do a thousand times to his sister, Haley. “Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.”

“Forever friends,” she said, using their childhood phrase. As the words left her lips, the last bit of hope—hope she hadn’t known still existed until that second—fizzled out.

Suddenly, she sort of wished she’d chosen Hawaii.

* * *

An hour later, Cole watched Andrew and Rachel leave the coffee shop, unsure of what, exactly, had propelled him to create a pretend girlfriend. The touching had irritated him, though he didn’t have the right to be irritated. Andrew’s posturing had, surprisingly, been more amusing than infuriating. Well, except for the comment about Cole’s career.

Even so, he hadn’t reacted to the push—Rachel had done that for him—and Andrew’s apology had seemed sincere. At that point, the tension emanating from Andrew had lessened, and Cole saw a glimmer of the real man Rachel had brought with her to Steamboat Springs. And damn if he didn’t begin to like him...just a little.

Cole certainly had no intention of making up a woman—a special woman, no less—when Andrew had then asked about his relationship status. But Rachel stepped in, answered in the negative, and that—yep, that was what had done it—had compelled Cole to lie. She’d been so sure, so damn positive in her response, that Cole had wanted to shake her up and prove that she didn’t know every microscopic detail about him or his life.

The maneuver had worked, too. If Cole was a betting man, he’d have wagered cold, hard cash that she’d turned green with envy over his declaration.

If she was in love with another man, why would she care if Cole was seeing someone? She wouldn’t. Or, he corrected, she shouldn’t. By the way her skin had paled a good two shades and her stunned expression, not to mention the wobbly state of her voice, Cole had to believe she did, indeed, care. He couldn’t deny his satisfaction over that.

But he’d lied, and that bothered him. So now he had to decide what to do about the fabrication. Confess the truth or keep the pretense in play? Hell. Lying didn’t sit well with him, but Rachel’s reaction, especially her whispered statement, “I already don’t like this woman,” egged him on, teasing him with the possibilities of what both could mean.

Cole stood, waved goodbye to Lola and headed out into the December night, thinking through those possibilities. What he’d said wasn’t a complete untruth: there was a special woman in his life. A woman he loved, a woman he saw himself quite capable of spending the rest of his days with, having children with, growing old with and every last thing that entailed.

Rachel, of course.

A plan, crystal clear in its clarity, formed in Cole’s mind. He could use his real feelings for Rachel, along with what she believed to be true, and enlist her help in wooing “the woman of his dreams.” If Rachel was jealous, if she did hold more than friendship for him in her heart, wouldn’t that be enough to propel her to act? Maybe.