To Be a Dad

“I hope you didn’t order anchovies.” She slipped into the booth across the table from him.

“Pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms and black olives,” he said.

She grinned. “You remembered.”

“No, that was for me. What did you want?”

“Ha-ha.” She opened the menu. “I might order a salad, too. I haven’t eaten anything green today.”

“You threw out the last of Adam’s pea soup?”

“Oh, gag. Don’t remind me.” Adam had discovered pea soup, and in his enthusiasm had made far more than any living soul could consume in a lifetime. Every time she turned around, pea soup kept showing up as the lunch special. “Truth is, I did throw it out.”

“No way. He thinks it got eaten. He even said he thought he should make another batch.”

Teressa laughed. “I know. I didn’t want to tell him I raided the freezer and chucked the last twenty gallons out, but I may have to if he insists on making more.”

Dusty leaned back in his seat. “You two work together well, don’t you?”

The waitress brought the water and coffee Dusty had ordered, and Teressa ordered a garden salad.

“Yes, we do,” she answered when the waitress left. “I like Adam a lot. Your sister is a lucky woman.”

“Yeah.” He looked out the window as if the cars driving by were far more interesting than anything she had to say. No surprise he found her a boring dinner date. She spent most of her time divided between barking out orders in the café kitchen and playing with her kids.

“I have one more store I need to go to before we do the grocery shopping.”

“Sure. Anything you need.”

The food arrived, and they busied themselves with filling their plates and eating the first piece of pizza without talking. The longer Dusty remained silent, the more Teressa fidgeted. It had always been so easy to talk to him before. She’d never have imagined they’d run out of things to talk about.

Desperately, she searched for something they could discuss. “We need to figure out the bedrooms. I guess we can put the kids together for a while longer, and I’ll take the smallest bedroom. My bed should fit into it.”

His face closed down even more. “If that’s what you want.”

“I need to get the kids settled as soon as possible,” she explained. “They need to have their toys and books and things around them.”

“We can clean out one of the bedrooms tonight and set it up for them,” he offered.

“We’ll put all the stuff from that room into the small bedroom. I’ll sleep on the couch in the living room, and you can have your bed back.”

When he got a stubborn look on his face, she put up her hand. “You’re fishing, Dusty. You need your sleep.”

“You’re working at the café and looking after your children. You need yours.”

“Fine.” She picked a green pepper off her pizza. “When you get up, I’ll crawl into your bed and catch another few hours of sleep.” She shivered, thinking of how delicious it would feel to crawl into Dusty’s still-warm bed.

“We’ll get that second bedroom cleaned out as soon as we can. Most of the stuff is from the kitchen and living room because we were going to tackle those rooms first.”

“I still think that’s a good idea. We need a common living area.”

He took another piece of pizza. “Starting tomorrow Josh is going to be working on the house during the day. I thought he should begin with the flooring, but if you need him to work on something else, just let him know when he arrives.”

“I think the flooring is as good a place as any to start.” She bit her tongue. She made his place sound like a total disaster area. Which it was, but still... “I need to find a babysitter for the kids after school.”

She watched as Dusty’s eyes followed a waitress who was carrying a tray full of glasses of beer. Right. Not hard to tell what his priorities were.

“I’m sorry.” He turned to her. “What did you say?”

“I need a babysitter for the children after school,” she snapped. “Linda used to pick them up from school and watch them until I finished work.”

“I usually get in around four, but I’m going to be pretty busy working on the house.”

Tears ambushed her for the hundredth time that day. She didn’t remember feeling this emotional when she was pregnant with Sarah or Brendon, and heaven knew her life had been a mess then, too, but for different reasons. She wasn’t turning into a drama queen, was she?

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed with the amount of details she had to sort out, she tossed her napkin on the table. “Let’s go.”

Dusty frowned. “But...we haven’t finished eating.”

“I want to go home.”

He sucked in his lips and signaled the waitress. What was it about him that undermined her defenses? She was a reasonably nice person to most people, but with Dusty she’d never been able to hide her feelings.

He leaned across the table. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” she wailed. “I’m sorry. Blame it on my unstable hormones.”

“Oh.” He sat back. “So, do those hormones flip around like that for the whole pregnancy?”

“Yes.”

“Right.” He sighed and looked toward the table that had ordered all the beer. “Carmen’s home. She called the other day. She’s looking for something to do while she’s here. She’d be good with the kids.”

Carmen Sheldrick. She’d always had a crush on Dusty. She was what? Twenty-five now? Tall, slender and firm of body likely. God, Teressa thought to herself. She was turning into a bitch. She had no right to be jealous.

“What’s she doing home?”

“I dunno. Didn’t she study something to do with working with kids? Early child...something or other. She told me, but I forget. You should give her a call.” He pulled out his cell phone and started scrolling. “I’ve got her cell number somewhere.”

Of course he did. Carmen would make sure he had her number. Teressa dug in her wallet for her only twenty and laid it on the table. When Dusty handed her his phone, she concentrated on what she’d say to Carmen, thankful that Dusty decided to go to the men’s room at the same time.

“Dusty! I knew you’d call.”

Teressa made a face at the phone. Did Carmen have to sound so smug? “Actually, it’s Teressa Wilder.”

She could almost hear Carmen shifting gears. “Oh. Dusty’s name came up on the call display.”

“That’s because I’m using his phone.” Carmen would have gotten there sooner or later, but Teressa wanted to get the call over with before Dusty returned. “I wanted to run something by you.”

Carmen was delighted to look after Sarah and Brendon for the few weeks she planned to be home, but she warned Teressa as soon as she got a proper job in the city she’d be leaving. She was not quite as enthusiastic when she learned Teressa was living at Dusty’s.

What Dusty and Carmen got up to was none of Teressa’s business. Or was it? Certainly, no one would fault her for complaining if Dusty started flirting with another woman. Strange. She’d never felt territorial about Dusty before, probably because there hadn’t been much point. She’d been stuck in baby-land, and he’d always looked as if he was enjoying the full benefits of bachelorhood.

Everyone would soon know the only reason they were together was because she was pregnant. And if she wasn’t pregnant, they wouldn’t be together, right? Or would they? Things had certainly heated up between them in the past couple of months, and they’d been enjoying each other’s company more frequently, almost as if they were a couple. It would have been interesting to see where their relationship would have gone if she hadn’t gotten pregnant.

Hoping to outrun her stupid thoughts, she stood and strode to the door to wait for Dusty. A minute later, he appeared by their table and frowned as he looked around the room for her. Her breath caught when his gaze landed on her, and his face lit up. She might be pregnant and twenty-eight and a little saggy, but there was still something between them. She’d hang on to that thought for now.

Although it went against her common sense to spend good money on lingerie for herself, she was determined to do something to please Dusty. Their relationship couldn’t all be about her. She had to give a little, too.

* * *

DUSTY WAS SURPRISED when Teressa insisted on visiting a lingerie store after the grocery shopping. They stashed the groceries in an insulated box in the back of his truck. Often when he was in town, he ended up staying the night and needed to lock things up.

He almost told Teressa they should skip the lingerie shopping because she looked so tired, but he couldn’t resist the thought of her wearing bits of lace under her usual shirts and jeans. He’d noticed that her beautiful breasts already looked a tad fuller. Her stomach was still flat, but it wouldn’t be long before she started to show. Because his baby was growing inside her. A wave of emotion he couldn’t identify—panic?—gripped him by the throat. He wasn’t used to dealing with...stuff. Feelings. Sure, sometimes he felt sad. Mostly happy, though, because face it, he had a pretty good life. He loved his work and loved his family, and if there were times when he felt a little lonely, well, that was what friends were for, right?

Life had been pretty much on an even keel for him for a long time until a few months ago when Pops’s heart attack had rocked his world. Then Sylvie moved home with a whole load of baggage that made him and Cal and Pops face the truth about his mom’s death. Adam showed up at the same time that Teressa started dating a guy who’d been hanging around on vacation. Man, he’d hated that guy. He shouldn’t have gotten so drunk, though, and tried to punch out the guy’s lights. Especially in front of the kids. He’d never handled her dating other guys too well, but hadn’t looked too hard for the reason why the thought of her with another man bothered him.

And now, this. More change. Scary change. But okay, too, in a way, because it was with Teressa, and despite all the stuff going on, he believed he and Tee would find a way to make everything work. Maybe not in a traditional way, but they respected each other enough that good things could happen. They just had to find a way that worked for them.

“So.” He cleared his throat. “Do I get to go with you to the store?”

“No. Yes. Do you want to?”

He glanced at her sideways and smiled. “What do you think?”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Flirt with me.”

“I love flirting with you.” His smile spread.

“Dusty!”

“What?” He pulled into a parking spot, killed the engine and draped his arm along the back of the seat. He was tired of tiptoeing around his attraction to her. He couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her the other night, and he wanted to kiss her again. Now. And later. And do other things, too.

“You promised we’d take things slowly.”

He slipped his hand from the back of the seat into the hair at the back of her neck. “We’re going into a store to buy you sexy underwear. I’m just trying to get us in the mood.”

“This is a bad idea.”

He shifted closer until his mouth hovered next to hers. “It’s a great idea. One of my best.” She smelled good enough to eat. Spicy, like cinnamon.

“Dusty?”

“Hmm?” He dropped a kiss on her jawline, followed it to her ear and found the sensitive spot below her ear he knew drove her crazy. He smiled to himself when he heard her hiss out a breath.

“Just one kiss, Tee, and then I’ll behave myself.” He slipped his hand inside her open jacket. She shifted sideways until her breast brushed against his hand. Not needing any more encouragement, he took the full weight of her breast in his hand and flicked his thumb over her nipple.

Teressa slid her hands around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers. She kissed him as though she’d been waiting for him forever. He moaned into her mouth and dropped his hands to her hips to pick her up and put her in his lap. He cursed when his elbow hit the steering wheel, reminding him where they were.

“Holy mackerel, Teressa.” He pulled away from her, and then went back for a quick taste. “Where did that come from?”

She buried her face in the folds of his jacket.

“You okay?”

“A little embarrassed,” she said into his chest.

“Of what?”

“Of attacking you.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I’ve got a hard-on that’s probably not going away until I...whatever. I got the dibs on being embarrassed around here.”

She peeked up at him. “You’re not upset?”

“You can attack me anytime you want. I’m good with that.” He grinned. “I am curious, though. You’re kind of running hot and cold.” He sat up straighter. “That’s hormones, too?”

“Yup.”

“You get horny when you’re pregnant?”

When Teressa pulled away from him and sat on her side of the cab, his arms felt empty. “I wouldn’t put it quite like that.”

“How would you put it, ’cause it felt like you were really into me for a minute.”

She straightened the front of her jacket, flipped her hair over her shoulder and finger-combed the long strands into place. “I get...urges. Strong urges.”

His grin spread across his face. “Really? I’ve heard of women eating lots of ice cream and stuff, but I’ve never heard about pregnant women feeling hot.”

“Stop it.” She swatted his arm. Guess the wave of hormones had crested. “It’s not a joke. It’s embarrassing. And FYI, if you tell anyone about this, I’ll never forgive you.”

“On one condition.” He knew he should wipe the stupid grin off his face, but he was having too much fun.

“What?” she asked suspiciously.

“Let me know when those hormones of yours get the upper hand. I’d be more than happy to help you out.”

“Everything’s a game to you, isn’t it?” She jerked open the door.

He immediately sobered. As usual, he’d pushed too far. “Sorry. I was just...trying to have a bit of fun.”

She looked at his crotch. “Are you decent enough to come into the store?”

He climbed out of the truck and adjusted the front of his jeans before pulling his coat closed. “I’m as decent as I’m going to get.”

And that was probably the crux of his and Teressa’s problems right there. He wasn’t good enough for Teressa and her children. She needed someone serious about life who would take care of her. He could barely take care of himself.

He followed her into the mall, blinking at the bright lights when they entered. He hated shopping, but it hadn’t been too bad tonight with Teressa. Strange, he’d never looked at it that way before, but he almost always felt good when he was with her. Not so much when she was mad at him, which happened more than he liked. So maybe he should smarten up and stop tormenting her. Make an effort to be more considerate.

“If you’re uncomfortable with me going in with you, I can meet you later.” There. See? He could play nice. He was dying to go into the lingerie store with Teressa, although she probably wouldn’t let him watch her try on any outfits or model anything for him.

“I’m not uncomfortable, but you might be. It’s a very...feminine place.”

“I’ve been in there before. I don’t mind it.”

Teressa sent him a sour look. Crap. Would he ever learn to keep his mouth closed?

“Just once,” he added. And winced.

“Do what you want.” Teressa flounced into the store, leaving him on his own.

What he wanted was to down three cold beers in a row, but he was almost certain that wasn’t what she’d meant. For sure he didn’t feel like going in the store now, which probably meant that was what he should do. Or maybe not. A guy hanging around a lingerie store probably made women nervous. Or something.

He sat on a bench outside the store, crossed his arms and closed his eyes. He should have told Teressa his favorite color was black—when it came to lingerie, that was. Imagining her wearing nothing but a couple of scraps of black lace was not a good idea. Not in public. He couldn’t believe she’d agreed to go along with his suggestion.

He shifted on the bench. Was she interested in pursuing the physical part of their relationship? Or... This was the kind of stuff that drove him nuts. In a lot of ways, he didn’t understand her, but in other ways he totally got her. Women generally mystified him, but the stakes always felt higher when it came to not understanding Teressa.

He’d been so ambushed by everything that had happened in the past forty-eight hours, he hadn’t had a second to think about how he felt about the changes happening in his life. If he was being honest, he had to admit he didn’t look forward to going home to a crowded house at the end of a long hard day of working on the water. With so many people helping with the renos on the house it felt as though his life had been ripped wide open for everyone to look at and discuss.

Not that he had anything to hide. As a matter of fact, his life seemed to be so...ordinary there wasn’t much to talk about. When had he slowed down? Used to be if anyone was looking for excitement they’d give him a call, because he always had something on the go. But somehow the entire summer had passed without him even going out on a date, let alone chasing after some harebrained idea. Whatever happened to buying a small seaplane or, even better, one of those islands for sale farther up in the bay? And now it was too late. He was going to be a father and had responsibilities and couldn’t afford anything like that.

He hunched over on the bench, feeling as though someone had punched him in the gut. He was scared shitless, and he hadn’t even realized it until now. He needed...needed—

“You look green around the gills, sailor.” Teressa stood in front of him. “Guess what I’m wearing.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

He took a calming breath and hooked a finger through her belt loop and pulled her close enough to stand between his legs. “Euclid.”

“What?”

“Our baby. If it’s a boy, let’s call it Euclid.”

She giggled. “No.”

His tense muscles relaxed, and he grinned. He didn’t hear her giggle often enough. “Euclid doesn’t work for you, huh?”

Her brown eyes sparked at him. “No. Sorry. Let’s go.”

“You going to show me what you’re wearing?”

“Not a chance, sailor.”

He hadn’t thought so. Didn’t mean he couldn’t imagine what she looked like in her new lingerie, though.

Teressa slipped her hand in his as they walked out of the mall, her bag of lingerie swinging in her other hand. “Every woman should buy something sexy for themselves once in a while. You wouldn’t believe how great it makes me feel, knowing what I’m wearing underneath. Thanks, Dusty.” She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek when they reached the truck. “I’d forgotten how much fun you can be.”

He pointed the truck in the direction of home, feeling a hundred percent better than he had in the mall. He just had to keep reminding himself who he was having a baby with. He couldn’t imagine a time when he wouldn’t want to be with Teressa. Well, okay he could. Like when she was mad at him or in an ornery mood. But generally, he really liked hanging out with her.

“When are you going to put on a fashion show for me?” She’d acted like a young, carefree girl in the mall, and it made him realize for all her responsibilities and grown-up ways, Teressa was still a young woman.

“Never.”

“Seriously?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. If I parade around in front of you in my new underwear, you’re going to get all hot and bothered.”

“I do know how to control myself.”

She looked at him from the corner of her eye, as if she was uncertain of herself, or of them. “We’re supposed to be taking things slow, remember?”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “We will. I promise. I’m just yanking your chain.”

He settled in for the hour-long drive home as Teressa closed her eyes and nodded off to sleep. He usually hated driving home in the dark, but with Teressa beside him, it kind of felt cozy in the truck. And it hadn’t escaped his notice that he’d gone from extremely freaked out in the mall to having fun with her teasing him. When they were good together, they were really good.

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