When I See Your Face

As she listened to Kate’s quiet chatter, Shannon thought of Rory Daniels. Maybe he had been the man of cool light who had made her feel safe when she’d been so strangely lost in a hot, dark fog. Or was her dream man only an illusion created out of pain and delirium? Sometimes she still needed him….

“By the way, did Rory tell you he’d bought the place next door to us?” Kate asked when she stood to leave.

“No. What place?”

“The Mulholland land.”

The land had belonged to Kate’s mother-in-law. Kate’s first husband had grown up there. Kris had been several years older than she, a Vietnam vet suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. One minute he would be fine; the next, he would change into an angry, suspicious man lost in the jungles of his mind, sure the enemy was near and searching for him and his family. It had been eerie. The marriage had ended in Kris’s suicide. Kate deserved all the happiness she now had.

“Will Rory live in the house?” Shannon asked, curious since she’d recently had the ancient foreman’s cabin on the Windraven Ranch, across the creek from the Mulholland house, remodeled, and had planned to move in over Christmas.

Oh. She was supposed to be out of her apartment in town by the first of the year. “My apartment,” she began.

“Megan and I finished moving the last of your things and cleaned it. It’s all been taken care of. Your SUV is stored in the garage at the new place, too. Sorry. I should have told you earlier so you wouldn’t worry.”

“I’d forgotten until this moment.” Shannon lifted a hand to her temple.

Kate touched her shoulder, then gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Your mind is fine. Quit worrying.”

“It isn’t my mind I’m worried about, not really.”

“Oh, honey.” Kate hugged her fiercely, her protective, nurturing nature familiar and comforting. “We can only wait and see how things turn out. It’s hard, I know. You’ve been terribly brave.”

“Hardly. I wanted to ask, has anyone else come to visit that you know of?”

“Like a certain young attorney who’s new in town?” Kate teased. Her voice became serious. “Not that I know, but Jess said the sheriff had ordered no visitors other than immediate family. He had a deputy outside your door twenty-four hours a day during the week you were in a coma. He’s been pretty worried about you.”

“I guess he thought the robber would sneak in and smother me or something,” she scoffed, trying not to recall that Rory had somehow gotten in to see her.

Couldn’t Brad have found a way?

Maybe. If he’d loved her.

There were a lot of ifs in her life just now. She would have to take each day as it came. But she would be okay. She was sure of it.

Chapter Three

Shannon repeated that assurance to everyone who called the rest of the day and the next when Gene Thompson, the sheriff and her boss, came to visit. They discussed the case.

“There was no third man,” Shannon told the lawman. “The wounded guy was the perp.” She sensed his impatience at her stubborn denial in the silence that followed.

“According to his story, the third man was a customer who came in after you and the store owner were unconscious,” Gene said, his gruff voice gentle.

At six feet, six inches and two hundred-plus pounds, the law officer reminded her of a big, friendly bear. Under the tough exterior, he was all heart. He took it hard when one of his deputies was injured.

“They struggled, then the robber shot him and made his getaway?” she asked skeptically.

“Yes.”

Shannon mulled over the information. “Well,” she finally concluded, “I suppose the evidence shoots holes in my theory that the guy you let go was the robber, especially since the perp’s gun wasn’t on the premises. I know I shot the real crook. In the shoulder, too, just like the other guy had. The gun couldn’t have walked off by itself, and since Rory found three people on the floor, all of us unconscious, the robber must have escaped.”

“Yep. With nothing to go on, the case goes onto the back burner.”

She hit the flat of her hand on the chair arm. “I wish I could see the store, go over it…” She stopped, then shrugged impatiently, refusing to give way to despair.

“Don’t, honey,” Gene said softly. “You’re going to be fine. Everything has a way of working out.”

“Does it?”

“I have to believe that, or else I’d go crazy with the insane things people do. Like shoot people over money.” He stood. “Well, it’s back to work for me. I understand you’ll be going home today.”

“Yes, Megan is coming for me as soon as she finishes with her riding students this afternoon. Uh, the nurse said you wouldn’t allow any visitors in my room, except family,” Shannon said. “And Rory Daniels?”

Gene muttered a curse. “I told them no one other than Kate and Megan.” He snorted, then chuckled. “It’s his looks. Women melt when he glances at them. Must be nice.”

“I don’t know,” Shannon said on a lighter note. “It could be hell, having everyone fall all over you.”

“Could be. Wind River may not be heaven,” the sheriff said, abruptly changing the subject, “but it’s still a good place to live. Don’t let one incident spoil your life.”

“I won’t,” Shannon promised, thinking of the cards, flowers and candy she’d received. It had all been disposed of and her room was bare, ready for the next occupant when she left. She wanted to go. Ten days in a hospital was enough for a lifetime.

She kept smiling until the last of her visitors left at the close of visiting hours that afternoon, then she pondered the future. A week from Friday and the bandages would come off. Nine days until she knew her fate. A shaky, rather forlorn, sigh escaped her.

Shannon was surprised when the doctor and the second shift nurse came in a couple of hours later. “What’s happening?” she asked, alarmed by the sudden visit.

“We’re taking the bandages off,” replied the doctor.

Her heart lurched. “Now? I thought it was later.”

“Just the ones on your wounds, not the eyes. I don’t want any stress on them for a few more days.”

“Oh.”

When the wrappings came off, her head felt funny. She reached up to examine the injuries. Feeling a bristly stubble on the left temple, she remarked in surprise, “I’m bald on one side.”

The doctor chuckled.

“Not really,” the nurse assured her. She was a quiet, efficient person who spoke in a normal, friendly manner. “If you had bangs around your face and a layered look on the sides, the short hair would blend in with the rest in a couple of weeks.”

“Thanks. I’ll do that.”

After they left, Shannon found her brush and fussed with her hair. She wondered when she could shower. She must look terrible. On an impulse, she called the beauty shop.

Marilee said she would give her a shampoo and a cut whenever she appeared. “Don’t worry about other customers,” she said airily. “They can wait.”

Shannon felt better after hanging up the phone. She’d punched in the number without help. Her spirits lifted. It was a beginning. Today the telephone. Tomorrow the world!

She laughed until she realized she was close to tears. That wouldn’t do, not at all. She wasn’t going to get all weepy and make people worry about her when the doctor didn’t know anything yet. Besides, everything was going to be fine.

When Megan arrived, Shannon was ready to go, and they took off for home.

“Umm, the air smells so crisp and fresh,” Shannon said.

She found she could tell where they were by using her other senses. She recognized the clatter of the tires on the old trestle bridge when they went over the creek. She heard the cows at a dairy farm. The scent of incense cedar indicated the woods near the house.

When they arrived, she eagerly got out of the station wagon and waited for her cousin. She’d experienced a sense of vulnerability at leaving the known haven of the hospital, but now she wanted freedom from restrictions and routine.

“It snowed last night. The sun is out today and everything looks pristine,” Megan had told her. “Hold on. I’m coming as soon as I get myself together. It’s really cold today. It’ll be well below freezing tonight.”

Shannon waited for Megan to take her arm and lead her into the house. Lifting her face to the sun, she pictured the mountains, elegant in their coats of new snow. She loved the hills and the sense of family that came to her each time she returned to the ranch. Her roots were buried deep within the rocky soil.

With a painful lurch of her heart, she realized she might never see the place again. The hot darkness descended on her, as if someone had thrown a blanket over her head. She breathed carefully and fought for composure.

“Can you carry your personal belongings? Your gun’s inside the bag. Careful. The flagstones may be slippery.” Megan put a plastic bag into her hand and took her arm.

Shannon pulled herself back from the brink of panic. She walked through the snow to the side door of the sprawling two-story ranch house, guided by Megan’s touch and voice. “Here’re the steps. Up. Up. Let me get the door open. Okay, let’s go inside.”

“Home,” Shannon murmured when the door closed behind her. “It’s good to be here.” She inhaled the scent of fresh pine and cinnamon in the air. “Something smells good.”

“I made spiced cider before I left to pick you up. Kate sent over apple fritters. Mrs. Roddey cut some pine boughs and put them on the hearth.”

Mrs. Roddey was wife to the rancher who leased their land. “Where’s Grandfather?” Shannon stuck her gloves in her pocket, then hung her coat on the hall tree without help.

“He lay down for a nap a little bit ago. I think the worry over you has gotten to him. He’s looked sort of peaked the past few days.”

“Maybe Christmas was hard on him. It is for many people. It makes them feel lonely.”

“Go into the parlor,” Megan suggested. “I’ll take care of these bags and things.”

Shannon touched the door with her right hand, then, going on memory, walked into the parlor, which was the family gathering place.

The warmth of a fire in the fireplace reached out to her as she carefully felt for the glider rocker and took a seat. She exhaled a ragged sigh, as if she’d finally reached a safe place after an arduous trip. She hated the feeling of uncertainty, of being vulnerable—

“You did that very well,” a masculine voice commented.

Shannon gripped the arms of the chair. “Brad?”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” the man said with sardonic amusement. “Rory Daniels. I came by to check on a couple of Megan’s boarders and stayed to welcome you home.”

Shannon realized how ungracious she’d sounded. “Oh, yes, the Good Samaritan. Thank you again for your help.”

She realized Rory must be in the chair that used to be her grandfather’s. Sitting in the big leather recliner, her granddad used to read the Christmas story from the Bible every year on Christmas Eve. That was before the stroke that had left him paralyzed.

Things, times, people changed. A wise person accepted that fact. But it was hard.

“Don’t mention it. As a doctor, I’m dedicated to healing, no matter what kind of animal crosses my path.”

Was it her imagination or was his tone decidedly cooler than his earlier greeting? Had she offended him by thanking him for his help?

“That’s very commendable,” she replied with the exact inflection he’d used on her, irritated without knowing why.

There was a brief silence. “Your hair looks nice,” he commented.

Shannon’s hand flew to the bristly section at her temple. “I had it shampooed and cut before I let Megan bring me home. Marilee said it would blend okay in a few days.”

“It looks great now. You can hardly tell one side is shorter than the other.”

She didn’t want to ask, but there was something she’d worried over during the hours when she couldn’t sleep for thinking about the future. She thought he would tell her the truth. “What about the wound? Can you see where the bullet went in or…or anything?”

She hated the hesitation, as if she was afraid of his answer. She squared her shoulders and waited.

When he moved from the chair, she felt a stir of air near her face. Warmth touched her an instant before he did.

Fingers caressed the side of her jaw before sliding under her chin and lifting her face. She stared up at him, or where she imagined him to be.

She was wrong. When he spoke, she realized his face was nearly level with hers and very close. His breath caressed her cheek as he answered.

“The scar at your temple won’t be visible. Your hair will cover it completely when it grows another half inch. Now under your chin…”

She waited, her breath shallow, for his pronouncement.

“That might be noticed if someone is specifically looking for it, or if they happen to be at this level with your head tilted just so. Otherwise, it isn’t obvious. The surgeon did an excellent job of stitching it up.”

Her breath rushed out in audible relief. Feeling self-conscious, she tried to laugh. That sounded even worse.

“Nothing like being vain,” she finally managed.

“Everyone is,” he said softly, “to a certain extent. No one wants to feel like a freak.”

His tone was deep, with an unexpected huskiness that surprised and disturbed her. He’d sounded amused, cynical, maybe bitter, but also gentle and understanding. Which didn’t fit her image of him at all.

“Well, that’s one worry you’ve certainly never had,” she said, injecting wry amusement in her voice.

“Haven’t I?”

Wondering what he meant, she instinctively reached toward him, as if to check for herself that he was as she remembered. She encountered his lean cheek and chiseled jawline. He had classical good looks, the bone structure strong and masculine, his nose straight, his lips…she tried to think of a descriptive word and failed.

She traced the outline of his mouth with her fingertips. His lips were warm, firm and yet surprisingly soft. When they moved slightly under her touch, a tingle of electricity zinged up her arm.

She drew back, startled.

Her unthinking action was too intimate. She’d invaded his personal space. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, to touch you like that.”

A hand caught her wrist and brought her hand into contact with the warm flesh again. “Go ahead,” he invited. “I like being touched. By you,” he added in a very soft voice, as if it were a surprising afterthought.

Thus encouraged, she outlined his nose, ran a finger over each eyebrow, then glided over his forehead to his hair. The strands felt crisp and clean under her hand.

She knew it was inky black. So were his eyebrows and lashes. His eyes were a light, pure blue. It was a startling combination and extremely attractive.

The scent of shampoo and aftershave came to her. His cheek was smooth to her touch as if he’d showered and shaved recently. She thought how it might be if they kissed—

“You’re as handsome as ever,” she reported, dropping her hands to her lap, feeling foolish and inept in a way she hadn’t felt since her first date.

He stood and moved away.

Toward the fireplace, she surmised. His tall—six-two or so—frame blocked its warmth. Odd, but she sensed something was bothering him. She couldn’t imagine what.

Rory was a man who had it all—looks, money, respect, the career he’d chosen even though she’d heard his father had wanted him to go into law. What was his problem?

It occurred to her that he’d never married. He’d dated various women, none of them for long, according to local gossip. Why settle for one when so many were available?

The black depression returned. Hearing Megan’s footsteps, she was glad he’d moved away. An odd picture they would have made, her exploring his face as if she’d never seen the man before.

And him letting her…even encouraging it.

Well, weirder things had probably happened. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap and felt the tingle lightly play over her fingertips and up her arm again. She’d never felt that before, not just from touching someone.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Megan said to Rory, coming into the room. “Grandfather would love to have a man to talk to for a change. He and I rattle around the house like two lost souls most nights. That’s why I’m delighted Shannon’s here. She can entertain us now with wild exciting tales of her work.”

“Thanks, I’d like that. I imagine Shannon’s had some interesting experiences,” Rory said.

“Well, nothing else as exciting as the robbery and ‘shoot-out,’” she said, using the media’s term with a large dollop of droll humor.

Megan and Rory laughed at her stories as she recounted some of the odd things people did in unexpected situations—like the man who carried the cash register out of his burning store and set it on the hood of his burning car.

To her surprise, the next hour passed quickly. She even began to relax as Rory took up the conversational reins and amused them with stories of pets and their owners.

She found herself listening intently. There were nuances in people’s voices she hadn’t noticed before…such as the husky, sexy quality in the masculine baritone. A tingle raced along her scalp and down her neck.

A noise came from down the hall. “Here’s Grandfather,” Megan announced, rising. “Rory is staying for dinner with us,” she told the older man. “I told him you would be glad of some male company.”

Shannon felt her grandfather’s kiss on her cheek, then heard him greet Rory in a guttural tone, the words indistinct.

Rory chatted easily, relating news of the ranches around the valley and the people on them, all known to the Windoms for years and years. He’d always been a polite person when they met, even when they argued over local issues, but now she saw—realized, she corrected—that he was a considerate one, too.

He told of his plans to breed an Olympic champion. “Big pie-in-the-sky plans,” he admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle. “But if you’re going to dream, it might as well be a big dream as a small one.”

“I agree,” Megan put in.

“What’s your dream?” Shannon asked. She and her cousin, only a year younger and her best friend, had shared everything as teenagers. As adults, they had put aside long, heart-searching discussions for the realities of living.

Megan laughed. “I want to ride that Olympic champion for Rory.”

Shannon pictured the other two working together on their common goal. They would probably fall in love and marry. Their children would be beautiful….

Loneliness swept over her with no warning, a terrible desolate sense of isolation. No one would want her—

With an effort, she pulled herself back from the brink of morbid self-pity. That wouldn’t do, not at all.

For the rest of the evening, the conversation flowed among the three of them. Her grandfather surprised her by managing to make a few comments, an improvement over his usual silent presence.

He’d been through ten years of living in a wheelchair, barely able to communicate during that time, all without a whimper. She’d never seen him cry over his fate. Clenching her hand into a fist, she vowed to be as brave, no matter what happened nine days from now.

A hand touched her clenched one, lightly, briefly.

She realized it was Rory’s, seated at her left. Turning towards him, she smiled to show him she was fine.

“Atta girl,” he murmured next to her ear, startling her at how close he was.

After dinner, their guest insisted on helping Megan clean up. While they had someone come in occasionally to clean the house and watch after Grandfather, they couldn’t afford full-time help.

A five-thousand acre ranch was expensive to run but brought in little money. Thanks to Kate, the place was solvent, but for a while after her Uncle Sean’s death, the cousins had thought they might lose it.

Shannon worried that she would now be an added expense on the household budget. She needed to find a way to make a living. Others managed, she reminded herself, as she mentally cringed at the idea of facing people without being able to see their gestures and expressions.

Besides, she’d be able to see with her right eye at the very least. She was sure of it.

But just in case, what could she do?

While the conversation ebbed and flowed around her, she contemplated the future. As a psychologist, she didn’t have to have sight. She could record her sessions and dictate her notes. It would be more difficult but not impossible.

“Don’t you think so, Shannon?” Megan asked.

“What? I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening.”

From her left came the sound of a deep chuckle. Rory said, “We were discussing a partnership, Megan and I. We think it makes sense to combine our efforts on a horse-breeding program.”

“To produce an Olympic champ?” she asked.

“Right,” he said, not at all embarrassed about revealing his dreams of the future.

Shannon put aside her own worries and considered. Rory might be good for Megan. Her cousin spent way too much of her time alone or with the kids in the riding classes she taught or with their grandfather.

“It makes sense. I mean, you’re both experts with horses. Besides, it would save you an enormous amount of money in vet bills,” she told her cousin, then realized how crass that sounded.

He laughed as if delighted with this practical observation. “Well, then, that settles it. We have official endorsement from the sheriff’s department.”

A wisp of memory floated into her mind. A voice. Deep. Soothing. Reassuring. Someone—a man, she knew that—had examined her with hands so gentle she’d longed to see his face. His touch had been cool on her hot forehead and at her temple. When she’d opened her eyes and tried to see him, she’d been blinded by the brilliant light that had surrounded him like a halo.

“The weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow,” Rory continued. “Let’s go riding. The mare that had the inflamed leg needs some light exercise, and I want to see how she handles herself with other horses.”

Silence ensued after the invitation.

Shannon assumed Megan was thinking it over. A hand nudged her arm.

“Hey, you gone to sleep?” he asked.

“Are you talking to me?”

“Yeah. I know Megan wants to go. How about you?”

Fear rushed over her. “I—I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it.”

“You need to get out,” he said decisively. “Don’t worry. We’ll watch out so you don’t fall down a gopher hole.”

Shannon heard Megan gasp. “Rory,” she scolded.

“I wanted her to know it won’t be a case of the blind leading the blind,” he said blandly. “Unless she’s scared, or doesn’t trust us to watch after her.”

Shannon’s hackles rose. “I’ve been riding horses since I could sit up by myself. I’d hardly be afraid of one. Especially if Megan is with me.”

There, that would let him know her faith was in her cousin, not a handsome charmer like him.

“Good. I’ll be over around noon or whenever I finish at the clinic.” He paused. “It is okay for her to ride, isn’t it?”

“Well, the doctor didn’t say she was under any restrictions on activities,” Megan told him. “At least, not to me.”

“Nor to me,” Shannon informed them briskly, determined to speak for herself. After all, she wasn’t an invalid.

The clock on the mantel chimed ten times. Shannon hadn’t realized it was so late. Fatigue rolled over her. It had been a very long day. Her emotions had gyrated through several ups and downs.

“Grandfather is ready to go to his room,” Megan announced. “I’ll make us some cocoa and be back shortly.”

Shannon kissed her grandfather’s cheek when he stopped by the rocker and patted her knee. “Good night,” she murmured to the patriarch, again experiencing a fierce protective love for her family.

“What makes you sad?” Rory asked when the other two were gone.

“I was thinking of my grandfather. He’s outlived his wife and all three of his children. That must be a terribly lonely thing for a person. Then to have a stroke and be confined in a wheelchair seems so unfair.”