A Very Single Midwife

‘Please, don’t apologise. That’s one of the reasons I’m here.’ His words surprised Bella so much she reached over and turned off the radio.

Scott’s smile was wry at the sudden silence in the vehicle and from the corner of her eye she saw him rub the back of his neck. So the great Dr Rainford was uncomfortable. Bella wasn’t sure how that made her feel but it was good to know he wasn’t one hundred per cent comfortable all the time.

Scott held his silence as they drew up to the bowling club and Bella flicked on the indicator and steered the minibus under the entrance portico. The door hissed open at the first stop and Melissa swayed belly-first down the aisle to carefully descend the steps. She turned back at the bottom step.

‘You will think about it, won’t you, Bella?’ Bella nodded and the girl went on her way. The expression on Scott’s face as he watched her leave made Bella smile.

When Melissa was out of earshot, he looked at Bella. ‘Melissa makes me think of that Adam Harvey song about the girl who fell face first into the fishing-tackle box.’

‘You’re showing your age,’ she said, and she saw him wince.

‘That’s because I’m old.’

The humour of the reply didn’t quite come off and Bella shot him a look and changed the subject. ‘So what was this about you apologising?’

His expression softened and Bella was surprised how good that made her feel. Danger lights flashed. She should not feel anything. Scott’s hang-ups were no concern of hers.

He turned to face her fully. ‘I’m not good at apologies so bear with me.’ He took a deep melodramatic breath and his face was solemn.

‘Bella Wilson, I…’ he placed his hand over his heart with exaggerated sincerity ‘…Scott Rainford, apologise for any slur or aspersions I may have cast on your ability to run Gladstone Maternity Ward. It was uncalled for and inexcusable and not a true indication of my faith in your ability. Please, forgive me.’

Then he smiled. Bella looked into his eyes and it happened again. The world shifted and she knew he understood everything about her—just like that day twelve years ago when she’d fallen in love with him.

But she wasn’t going there. She didn’t need this. Bella fumbled with the gearstick until she found a gear and jerkily pulled away from the club as if to drive away would leave the words behind. She’d thought she’d sigh with relief when Scott stopped baiting her but now that he seemed so warmly approving she felt more off balance.

Even while she battled with the cumbersome bus in traffic, the awareness of Scott beside her didn’t go away. The air in the bus seemed charged and no matter how much Bella berated herself for the resurgence of all those emotions she’d fought against as a teenager, she couldn’t deny it—Scott’s presence excited her.

Excited her in a way the three years with the permanently unfaithful Jason had never done. But excitement passed, she reminded herself, and she wasn’t stupid enough to fall for that story again.

‘Apology accepted,’ she said quietly, and avoided his eyes.

Thankfully, the next stop saw two young women and a pimply youth board the bus and their friendly chatter helped distance the sensation that Bella was being drawn, inexorably, towards a fatal attraction she’d later regret. Because it wasn’t going to happen!

Scott had also been quiet since that unmistakable awareness had passed between them. Bella had no idea of his thoughts. Perhaps he regretted he’d come tonight. Maybe now he’d apologised he’d go home after the run. She could only hope.

Bella dropped the three passengers at a noisy pub and the bus was empty again. ‘After the next stop, I head home for nearly an hour before I do it all again.’ She glanced at Scott and his eyes seemed to warm her from across the aisle. Her imagination was running away with her. Scott wouldn’t look at her like that.

‘It gets busier later in the evening.’ Her voice cracked as she strove for normality and she wished he’d say something. Anything to break this mounting awareness that had come from nowhere and seemed to drain the strength from her body. She pulled into the last stop and two young blonde women, obviously twins, waved gaily as they clambered up the steps.

‘Hi, Bella.’ They looked at Scott curiously. ‘Hello, Dr Rainford,’ they chorused as they took their seats. Trish and Trina were just seventeen and Bella was pleased to see them heading home. Their mother was in hospital for a major operation and the girls had come to stay with Bella while she was away rather than with their stepfather whom they didn’t get on with.

Bella glanced into the rear vision mirror. ‘You ladies home for the night now?’ The girls nodded.

Scott observed the interplay between Bella and the girls. She treated them with respect and yet he could see that she had a natural authority that came across despite the gentleness of her voice.

Authority was something he hadn’t associated with Bella. This afternoon, after rational thought, he’d realised how badly he’d behaved to belittle Bella’s ability to run the ward. If she’d been an unknown replacement for Abbey’s job he would never have dreamed of undermining the new NUM’s confidence. Just because he had a problem looking at Bella dispassionately he had no right to take it out on her. He’d always believed in fair play and in retrospect he’d been dismayed at his behaviour. They needed to let go of their past and establish a good professional friendship.

Then he’d found out Bella was driving the youth bus and the idea of her safety weighed on him as well. And a little aching curiosity about how Bella coped with young adults—people the same age as his son—something he didn’t associate with beautiful but fragile Bella. Something he didn’t associate with himself. He shelved those thoughts for later. It was enough trying to remain rational around her.

Tonight had seemed a good opportunity to apologise for his lack of support at her promotion and see her in action. The trouble was, when he let his barriers down, the depth of his attraction to her swamped him like it had now and his plan of just being friends became difficult to stick to.

The bus pulled up at Bella’s house more sharply than expected and everyone jerked in their seats. ‘Sorry,’ Bella murmured as she opened the door. The twins giggled as they waved goodbye.

Bella glanced at Scott. ‘Are you on call for the ward?’ Scott nodded and patted his pager and Bella raised her eyebrows. ‘What were you going to do if your pager went off and they needed you in Maternity?’

‘I was hoping the bus driver would drop me off. It’s a small town.’

Bella smiled and his own lips curved. Hell, she was beautiful. She was still talking and he tried to concentrate.

‘Are you going home now or were you planning to wait for the next run in an hour?’

Waiting with Bella would be exquisite torture but, now he realised there was a chance she’d be alone in the bus to pick up strange young people, he’d never settle at home. ‘I’ll wait.’

Bella glanced at him and he couldn’t tell her thoughts from her noncommittal voice. ‘Were you planning on coming on all the trips tonight?’

He avoided her eyes. ‘I don’t like the idea of you being here on your own.’ He stood and watched her squeeze out from behind the wheel and waited for her to go past him before following her out. Her no-nonsense jeans hugged her tiny waist and stretched over the subtle curve of her buttocks and down her long legs like a second skin as she descended the steps. Scott closed his eyes.

At work he could control the direction of his thoughts. But tonight, after the decision he’d made today to get used to Bella being in his life again, it was much harder to stay detached.

In the old boarding-house-cum-family home it was quieter than he’d expected for just after eight o’clock in the evening. The bustling family atmosphere he’d vaguely assumed would distract him from lusting after Bella wasn’t there. Now he was in trouble.

‘Drop in and say hello to Aunt Sophie. She’d love to see you,’ Bella said over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen.

Scott glanced at the closed door in the foyer and accepted that the light streaming from under it meant that Sophie was awake. He knocked and a querulous voice called for him to enter.

The white-haired old lady was hunched in front of the television, watching the horse races as he’d expected, and she cackled softly when she saw him. Her bird-like face widened into a grin and he wondered not for the first time how she managed to eat with so few teeth.

‘Bit late for a house call, Dr Rainford,’ Sophie said.

Scott walked across the room to stand beside her chair. ‘I’m doing the bus run with Bella tonight. How are you, Sophie? Keeping the house under control as usual?’

‘Bella runs it. I just watch. And soon I’ll see my new great-nephew.’

Scott smiled at the old lady’s delight. ‘He’s a fine young fellow and Abbey looked wonderful when I saw her before tea.’

‘They deserve their happiness. And so do you. You might think of doing something about it before you get too old.’

Scott raised his eyebrows but, in fact, nothing Bella’s aunt said could surprise him after all these years of being her doctor. Sophie’s eyes had strayed from his, back to the screen, as a new race started. He’d ceased to exist.

‘Funny you should say that,’ he murmured. More loudly, he said, ‘I’ll go, then. Good luck with your punting.’

She flicked him a sly glance. ‘Good luck with yours.’ And turned back to the television.

Scott bit back a sigh as he left the room. One thing about old age seemed to be that you could say what you wanted, when you wanted!

CHAPTER TWO

BACK in the foyer, the twins had disappeared up the stairs and then a barely audible thumping beat vibrated through the house. He looked down where the noise seemed to be seeping through the floorboards under his feet. Thump, thump, thump. He wondered if his son liked that kind of music and even if Bella did. He was definitely too old for Bella. He thought wistfully of his own quiet house until Bella returned from the kitchen and then age was forgotten.

She was munching an apple and he couldn’t help the sudden connection in his head to Adam and Eve and the malicious serpent of desire. Even in jeans she embodied the essence of womanhood and he could feel the too-familiar surge of frustration at the unfairness of fate.

‘It seems Vivie’s gone to bed.’ Bella said as she rubbed the uneaten side of her apple against her breast to shine it. Scott almost groaned at the undulation of tissue under the fruit. Oblivious, she went on, ‘Her baby was unsettled last night and she’s probably trying to catch up on some sleep.’ Bella tilted her head and he could see she was unsure what to do with him. ‘Do you want to listen to music in the study until the next trip?’

Scott tore his eyes away from the tightness of her shirt and dragged his thoughts back under control as he followed her into the book-lined room. He remembered the room they used as a study from when Abbey had lived here, but the aura was different.

Bella had painted the walls a soft lilac and replaced the old curtains with white linen. She gestured to an under-stuffed chair as she moved across to turn on the CD player. ‘Please, sit down.’

Before he knew it Carol King had started to sing softly in the background about a life and a tapestry and he relaxed a little at the pleasant music. Bella crossed the room back to him as he sank into the chair. And sank comprehensively until his knees almost came up to his chin. He pretended to be comfortable though he felt like he’d been swallowed whole. At least it took his mind off Bella’s breasts.

Bella perched on the arm of a sister chair and Scott could see why. Bella would disappear if she sank as far as he had.

Her eyes twinkled. ‘Sorry about the chairs. There used to be a chaise longue in here but Rohan asked if Abbey could take it with her when they got married. Something to do with happy memories or something and I couldn’t say no.’ She grinned. ‘He’s so romantic and Abbey is so matter-of-fact. Love is grand if it works out.’ She shrugged and patted the chair.

‘I found these really cheap at a garage sale.’ Her smile faded and she glanced out of the window at the house next door where her sister and brother-in-law lived. ‘Poor old Rohan looked strained today while Abbey was in labour.’

She turned back to stare thoughtfully at Scott. ‘And so did you after the baby was born. What happened to a show of relief and joy at the birth of the new Roberts baby?’

She was different in her own home, more decisive and assertive, and it knocked Scott off balance. So much so that he answered by speaking about something he’d least intended. Something he hadn’t told anyone since he’d found out yesterday.

‘I was thinking about my own son.’

Bella blinked. ‘You have a son? Since when?’

She looked so incredulous that Scott winced. ‘It is possible, you know. I am a man.’

Bella snorted, not unlike her maiden aunt, and raised her eyebrows. ‘I’ve been aware of that for a while.’ And suddenly it was back—that aura between them that had shimmered in the bus. She blushed and looked away but not before he saw her moisten her lips with her tongue. That brief glimpse of pink softness almost undid all the hard work he’d expended on controlling his lust.

He rose, not without difficulty, from the softness of the upholstery, and walked over to the window. He had to move away or he’d pull her into his arms and do something he should have done many years ago.

He clung grimly to a topic that could divert him. ‘As to “since when”, a letter arrived from him yesterday. My son, Michael…’ he shook his head as if still unable to believe he was a father ‘…apparently was adopted by his maternal grandparents not long after his birth, when his mother was killed in an accident. Until they died, and he came across his birth certificate, he didn’t even know he had other parents. He only mentioned that he’d discovered his real mother was long dead and the letter was to let me know my ex-wife had died. “In case I wondered”, he added, and he might come to visit me in a month or two. He doesn’t seem very keen to meet me.’

Scott turned back to Bella and the sympathy he saw in her face made him fiercely regret telling her. ‘Considering I’ve done nothing for him, I’m not surprised, of course.’

Bella shook her head. ‘If you didn’t know about Michael then someone made it hard for both of you. Why didn’t his mother tell you?’

‘That’s not something I’m ever likely to find out. We were totally different and never really understood each other. She probably thought I’d be as useless as a father as I was as a husband.’ He saw her flinch at the bitterness in his voice. What did she expect? All those extra years he had on her were filled with mistakes.

Bella’s voice was reasonable. ‘As you’re not useless at anything else you attempt, I find that hard to believe.’

‘That’s a compliment, considering I’ve been less than pleasant to you since you came back.’

Bella patted the chair and encouraged him to sit down again. ‘We’ll talk about that another time.’ When he walked past her to his chair she touched his arm fleetingly and this time there was healing in her sympathy. To his relief she didn’t pursue the subject.

Bella outlined a few changes she was looking at for the ward and the time passed swiftly. Before he knew it, she’d glanced at her watch and stood up. ‘Let’s go drive a bus.’

This time, as they circumnavigated the town, surprisingly there was little strain—on Bella’s side anyway. More young people got on and off than the last trip and they all knew Bella.

Scott tried to concentrate on where they were driving and not the driver. He’d been aware of the bus campaign but was amazed at how much the service was used. No wonder the number of teen car accidents was down if this many kids weren’t driving the streets.

When they returned to Bella’s house the lights were out in Sophie’s rooms. They were the only ones awake in a sleeping house and there was one more run to go. He felt his inner tension increase another knot and his steps slowed.

‘Do you want to go back into the study and have some coffee?’ Bella didn’t appear to notice as she stifled a yawn.

Scott pictured another episode of trying to extricate himself from the carnivorous chair and, despite its diversional properties, he couldn’t face it. ‘Can we sit in the kitchen?’

Bella stared at him for a moment and the laughter in her eyes told him she’d guessed about the chair.

‘Certainly.’ She led the way into the old-fashioned kitchen and indicated a huge boiled fruit cake under a glass cover in the middle of the scrubbed oak table. ‘I’ll make coffee and you can cut us some of Vivie’s cake. Then you can tell me about your marriage.’

She looked so innocent as she assumed he’d just do as he was told and bare his soul. For some reason her assumption chipped a little more at his composure and he couldn’t help his need to try and regain some control.

Bella wondered if she would get away with it. Hopefully Scott wouldn’t take offence at her question. It would be nice to know more about the man she’d once thought she loved. Someone, she realised now, who’d always treated her like a child.

Without warning, he caught her arm as she moved towards the sink to halt her progress away from him. Apparently, Scott wasn’t ready to discuss his marriage any further. It was the first time he’d touched her in twelve years and he wasn’t touching her as if she were a child. Bella’s pulse jumped with the unexpectedness of it.

‘Who says I want to talk about my marriage?’ His voice was deeper than usual with a touch of danger that accelerated her heart rate even more. ‘You’re being very bossy all of a sudden. When did this shift in power happen?’ he asked with gentle sarcasm.

This was a startling side of Scott she’d never seen. Bella looked down at her own pale wrist captured by his much larger hand and then up at his face.

Her mouth was dry and she moistened her lips with her tongue, lost for words. Suddenly he was staring down at her like a dying man in a desert without water. The air crackled with tension and she could almost taste the scent of the storm to come.

She said quietly, ‘Maybe I’ve changed and you’ve never noticed.’ This time when she ran her tongue over her lips she did it to deliberately provoke him, but his response exceeded her expectations.

Bella felt his fingers tighten on her wrist even more and her eyes widened as he pulled her all the way towards him until she was hard against the rock of his chest with her head tilted up at him.

His voice lowered and the conversational tone he used belied the hungry look in his storm-green eyes. ‘It drives me insane when you lick your lips. If you do it again I won’t be responsible for the consequences.’ Scott’s fingers loosened and he dropped her wrist to sit down.

Bella blinked and pressed her lips together, rubbed her wrist and turned away. Her mouth was dry, and a heaving, almost sickening excitement she didn’t want to feel coursed through her stomach as she filled the kettle. At least she’d found out the tiger’s tail could be pulled, she thought shakily.

When she returned to the table with the mugs of steaming coffee, Scott had cut two pieces of cake.

A tiny green flame simmered in his eyes and Bella threw up her chin at the challenge—something the Bella of a year ago would never have done—and she gloried in it. ‘So, does this mean you don’t want to talk about your first wife?’

Scott’s hand froze as he reached for his cup.

Ha. Good, she’d surprised him, she thought with sudden satisfaction, and for once she could read his mind. ‘You really haven’t seen how much I’ve changed since the court case, have you?’

Scott paled and clenched his teeth as he fought back the impotent fury that invaded his mind whenever he thought of Bella at the drugged mercy of her attacker. He took a deep breath. ‘We seem to have successfully avoided each other for most of the last year since you’ve been home. I didn’t get the impression it helped you when I was around.’

She shrugged delicately and her fragility belied the strength in her voice. ‘They say good comes out of even the worst scenarios. That experience taught me to rely on myself and not other people. And not to expect my big sister to always save me. I’ve worked on that over the last year.’

Scott frowned. ‘To say good came out of a brutal attack seems a tad forgiving of a creep who drugged and abused you.’

Bella winced with distaste and her voice shook a little. ‘He can rot in gaol, but surviving his attack has forced me to grow and learn. You weren’t here straight after the attack, but for a while I was ready to crawl away and die.’

Scott had shut off a lot of the memories of Bella’s attack because he’d felt so useless in her hour of need. He’d been away and had come back to find a shattered shell of the woman he’d known. She’d refused to see him when he’d come to offer comfort so he’d gone away again and gained what reassurance he could from information gleaned from Rohan. Scott felt he’d already hurt her enough all those years ago to feel he had the right to push his presence on her when she was vulnerable.

‘But I don’t want to talk about me, I want to hear about you…’ She trailed off and managed a small smile of encouragement.

He smiled grimly. ‘So it’s my turn, is it?’ He could see that she’d sat far enough along the table away from him to be out of reach. At least he’d made her wary but it hadn’t stopped her impudence.

‘How old were you when you were married?’ The question drifted towards him and he would have liked to know why it was so damned important for her to hear this. He considered refusing to answer but he never had been able to deny Bella anything if she wanted it badly enough.

His voice was expressionless. ‘Married at twenty, but she left less than a year later. Pretty well most of med school was spent trying to forget my marriage. We fell in and out of love very quickly. Or at least she did.’

Scott could see the brevity of his answer irritated Bella and it gave him a little satisfaction that she could be frustrated for once.

‘Then why get married?’

‘I was young and stupid and she was older and no wiser. It blew incredibly hot and then, before I knew why, our relationship was as cold as ice. She left me for another man, a man her senior who could support her, and filed for divorce.’ A distant echo of a crushing hurt was in his voice and Bella felt more mature than Scott for the first time in her life. It was an interesting concept.

Luckily he wasn’t looking at her. His voice was flat when he went on, ‘Apparently my wife was pregnant when she left me. I just wish I’d known I had a child and could have been involved in some part of his life. The last two days I’ve agonised over why she shut me out so completely. I rang and checked. I am Michael’s true father.’

He shrugged. The image of the pain in Scott’s face in the birthing suite that morning came back to her. ‘And you’ve learnt nothing else about your son?’

‘What’s there to learn? He’s a man now. I imagine from his side I’m the father who’s done nothing to help him. It must be more of a shock to him than it was to me.’

Bella drained her coffee and set the cup down. She glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. ‘It’s almost time for the bus run again.’

Scott gave her a wry smile and stood to pull out her chair. ‘Well, that will end our session of truth and dare for the night. Thank goodness.’

‘It’s not healthy to keep all this stuff bottled up, Scott.’ Bella was stern in her new role. ‘When the shock wears off, you’ll be glad you told me.’

‘Right,’ Scott said cynically, and waited for her to precede him out of the room.

When they’d settled in the bus and Scott saw Bella stifle another yawn his original misgivings came back to him. ‘This is ridiculous. You shouldn’t be driving this bus. Can’t you find someone else to do it?’