Tempted By Dr Off-Limits

FITZ COULD MORE than just hold a decent beat, Elle thought an hour or so later as they took a break from another round of dancing in order to get a much-needed drink. He wasn’t competition standard, but he had a few nice moves and she was enjoying herself far more than she could have dreamed a couple of hours ago. She was glad she hadn’t left.

She’d been going to when she’d realised he was army. Not that she had to, it wasn’t against the rules given their ranks, but it was a complication she wasn’t sure she needed. And then he’d told her about his family and she’d felt a connection to him. The patent physical attraction between them only partially explained the draw; he’d trusted her enough to tell her, and that made it easier for her to feel she could trust him too.

Especially after Stevie.

‘Water, please.’ She nodded gratefully as he asked her what she wanted, trying not to read too much into the fact that his hand was still curled gently around her smaller one. ‘Or an orange juice. I could really go for an ice-cold juice right about now. Wait, I’ll come with you.’

‘Fine,’ Fitz agreed. ‘Just stay close.’

Her heart hammered even harder than it had been doing all evening as he pulled her casually to him and began to lead her through the throng to the bar. Then, reaching for a free sample of a lurid-coloured shot, he sniffed it warily.

‘You sure you just want water? You could try this Diablo’s Poison they’ve been pushing all night. I mean, it looks like some hacked jet engine fuel, smells even worse, and would probably strip your insides for the year, but if you can down it in one go you get a selfie and a photo on their media site. I mean, what’s not to love?’

He faked choking and Elle laughed, a rich feeling that seemed to bubble up out of nowhere, washing away the very last vestiges of the grime and sadness of the last few weeks. She was beginning to feel more and more like her old self with every passing moment. Stevie hadn’t got the better of her, and she wasn’t making quite the fool out of herself with this flirting business, as she’d initially feared. His betrayal had knocked her back but it hadn’t devastated her.

If anything, tonight’s unexpected turn of events had reminded her that Stevie had nothing to do with all the best qualities she prided herself on having: her skill as a doctor; her ability to take care of herself; her appeal to someone like Fitz. She didn’t know what it was about Fitz that seemed to lift her the way he did, she just knew the more time she was in his company the more time she wanted to spend with him.

And the fact that he’d confided in her earlier—things about his family that he didn’t tell many people, if any—had allowed her to let her guard down with him. As though she knew him, rather than had just met him. Another side to the man she could easily see as a strong colonel, a dynamic leader, an inspiring mentor.

‘You look more relaxed than you were earlier,’ Fitz said suddenly, ordering the drinks and then turning to her.

His gaze was unexpectedly more penetrating than before, reminding her that her body was tantalisingly close to his.

Abruptly, she ached for more.

They’d been dancing for over an hour, yet it had been so fast-paced that this was probably the closest she’d been to him for any length of time. And her body seemed acutely aware of it.

‘I feel more relaxed,’ Elle admitted, ignoring the irony as she struggled to regulate her breathing, and control the goose-bumps of anticipation from racing over her skin.

‘So, what brought you here tonight?’

She drew in a sharp breath.

‘Why ask that now, particularly?’ she managed slowly.

His mouth curved up into the seductive smile that she’d already discovered turned her insides out.

‘Because, I’d very much like to kiss you.’ He didn’t let her break the gaze for a moment. Direct and concise, just what she’d come to expect from Fitz. ‘But I don’t think that’s what you were looking for when you first came in here.’

‘Astute of you,’ Elle murmured, trying to buy herself some time.

It was as though the evening had been leading up to this point from the moment he’d stepped up to her at the bar. Now it was up to her to decide whether dancing, a drink, a laugh were as far as things went, or if she wanted more with Fitz tonight.

He didn’t answer. He didn’t rush her. He simply waited. And Elle was mesmerised by the way his thumb traced lazy, circular patterns over the back of her hand, as though the two of them had all the time in the world.

With his other hand, he reached between their bodies and picked up her drink from the bar to offer it to her before taking his own.

‘Come on,’ he muttered, turning and leading her back through the mass of rhythmically throbbing bodies and to a quieter corner of the club.

Then he turned back to face her, his gaze snagging hers as easily as before.

Dragging her eyes away, she took a fortifying gulp of orange juice.

Then a second.

Finally, she lifted her gaze back to Fitz.

‘I was in a relationship. Two weeks ago I discovered he’d been cheating on me. I admit that it knocked me. I walked out and have been staying in the hotel up the road ever since. I suppose you might say I’ve been licking my wounds.’

She offered a rueful smile but Fitz just frowned.

‘Long-term relationship?’

‘Fourteen years,’ she confirmed.

He let out a low whistle.

‘That must be tough. You were serious about this guy, then?’

He tailed off and Elle could guess what he was probably thinking.

‘Only I don’t seem as cut up about it as you’d have thought?’

‘I’m not judging.’

She shrugged.

‘I was hurt, humiliated. I felt betrayed. I sat in that hotel room and felt like a prize idiot. I felt as though I didn’t know who I was.’ She’d wondered if she was less of a woman, less sexy, less desirable. Not that she was about to tell Fitz that. ‘And then I had what I call my “light-bulb” moment; I realised it was more about my pride being hurt than me actually being hurt, and I asked myself why I was letting someone else’s actions shake my belief in myself.’

‘That’s very logical.’ Fitz didn’t look convinced. ‘Very controlled.’

She smiled wistfully.

‘Isn’t that the point? I realised we’d been growing apart for a very long time. He was a...sportsman.’ No need to name names. ‘He spent a lot of time training and travelling. And my career is very demanding. I think a part of me was still in love with the idea of childhood sweethearts, when in reality we’d fallen out of love a long time ago. We didn’t see each other like regular couples tend to, and we weren’t really bothered.’

If she calculated it—which she hadn’t been able to stop herself from doing a couple of times over the last fortnight—between multiple tours of duty, training courses and postings around the country, she doubted she’d spent more than thirty long weekends and a handful of week-long or fortnight R&Rs in Stevie’s company over the last decade or so. At best a couple of hundred days.

‘We didn’t even live together. We always had our own homes, blaming it on the distance, but that was just an excuse. As the money rolled in, each apartment became more and more blingy, and they weren’t my style. I visited but he never gave me my own key. I never needed one, but I guess I now know why he was afraid I might just pop in unannounced.’

‘So that was how you found out? You decided to surprise him with a visit?’

‘The doorman recognised me and let me in, sweet old guy who only did a couple of nights to top up his pension. I don’t know whether he knew the girls were up there, or if he did but thought it was time I knew what Stevie was up to. First time I’d surprise visited in years. Pretty dumb, huh?’

‘Only if you’re talking about him.’ Fitz’s thunderous expression somehow soothed her bruised ego.

Elle wrinkled her nose.

‘It wasn’t just Stevie’s fault. I liked my own space, too. I think in the last ten years we might have seen each other two hundred days. Two hundred days out of three thousand, six hundred and fifty-two-ish.’

Her stomach rolled with guilt.

She’d been pretty much fine with that—they both had, by the end—but in the very beginning how many keys had Stevie offered her? In the beginning how many times had he begged her to visit more? To come to his major league matches? To attend some B-list party? And she’d always found an army-related excuse not to. Then again, where had Stevie been when she’d finally graduated or passed out of her Sandhurst course? Out with his teammates, celebrating his own big wins. Too busy to come to either of the two biggest days in her life.

So what did that tell her about the state of their relationship? They’d had three years as teenagers in the flush of first love unable to stand being apart for even a maths lesson, to adults who hadn’t blinked an eye at being apart for three months at a time. Or, at least, she hadn’t. But, still, she would never have dreamed of cheating on him and it wasn’t as though she hadn’t had the opportunity over the years.

Yet Stevie had. A wave of sadness washed over her. He hadn’t always been that way. He’d changed. Fame had changed him. And, as if to add clichéd insult to even more clichéd injury, his excuse had been that the two bimbos ‘meant nothing’, that they were ‘football groupies’, that as a professional footballer he was a ‘high-profile target’ who had done well to resist their seduction skills as often as he had.

She’d taken time to get her head around that prize gem this last fortnight and finally seen it for the bull it was. Finally, he had professed that he couldn’t be blamed for being lonely and needing physical comfort given how often her work kept her away from him. And that particular knife of guilt had been the one to actually lodge in her back.

She shook her head and took another long drink.

‘So why stay in a hotel?’ he asked curiously. ‘Why not just go back to your own home?’

‘I didn’t want him to follow me down here. I didn’t want him to find me.’

She didn’t want to do something stupid like let him cry and beg and guilt her into taking him back.

‘Anyway, it’s not a subject I want to dwell on. I came here to prove to myself that I could enjoy a night out in my own company. I didn’t bank on how eventful it would be, but I’ve felt more like myself than ever. And I guess meeting you wasn’t a bad bonus.’

She managed a deliberately cheeky smile, something tightening in her chest when Fitz finally stopped frowning and laughed with her.

‘Okay.’ He dipped his head. ‘Then what would you like to do now? Another drink? Another dance? I could just walk you back to your hotel if you’ve had enough.’

There was no hint of suggestion in his tone, not that Elle was expecting there to be any. Fitz was the kind of guy who didn’t crowd a girl, and she appreciated it. His interest in her was clear yet at no time this evening had he made her feel under any obligation. He was utterly secure in his own skin in everything he seemed to do, and it was an incredibly attractive quality.

The funny thing was that the more he gave her space, the closer to him she wanted to get.

‘I think this is what I’d like to do now.’

Before she could second-guess herself, she stretched up onto her toes and pressed her lips against his.

Vaguely she considered it might have been better if she’d remembered to set her glass down first, but then a crackle of energy shot between them and Elle forgot everything else.

Everything stopped in that instant as he bent his head. Fitz didn’t merely kiss her back, he claimed her, expertly and devastatingly, licking through her body and firing up senses she’d never even known existed. His hands lifted to cup her head, fingers entangling their way into her hair as though he’d been waiting to touch it—to touch her—all evening, and Elle held herself closer to his powerful frame.

His mouth was crushing hers, tasting her, exulting in her and, in its ruthlessly exquisite way, crushing any last doubts that she somehow wasn’t enough as a woman. He made her feel beautiful, and desirable, and sexy. Fitz made her feel bolder than she’d ever felt before—at least, outside her work persona—as he helped her to discover a side of herself she’d never dreamed existed. A side of herself that was revelling in every stroke of his sensual tongue.

Her fingers bit into his shoulders and she exulted in the power there. Her entire body rocked against his, almost involuntarily, in a rhythm totally apart from the music’s. A rhythm as old as time, yet one that she hadn’t felt for a long time. And certainly never, ever anything quite like this. She pulsed everywhere. Her head was in a mad spin and her chest felt like a band was being wound tightly around her. Yet however close she pressed her body against his strong, unmistakeably hard frame, it didn’t feel enough. She couldn’t get close enough.

His kisses were like a heavenly sin. His arms around her, locking her in place, were like a sumptuous jail. She could feel every perfect, chiselled inch of him along every inch of her. But it wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

Apprehension slithered down her spine, rapidly overtaken by excitement.

She’d never had a one-night stand in her life. And somehow she knew she’d never want one again. No one had ever got under her skin quite the way Fitz had, even in these few hours. And it wasn’t just that she’d always been in a relationship in the past while now she was single. That alone didn’t explain it. She’d worked with enough male army officers in her career to have seen plenty of impressive examples of a man, in confidence, in charisma, in looks. But even if she’d been single, none of them would have affected her quite the way Fitz did. None of them could have tempted her to do something as completely crazy and impulsive as invite them back to her hotel room.

How did she even begin to go about suggesting it?

‘Can we get out of here?’ She reluctantly tore her mouth from his, murmuring nervously. She licked her lips. ‘Maybe go somewhere quieter?’

He peeled her body away from his and Elle was unprepared for the sudden sense of loss.

One hand on her shoulder, the other on her waist, Fitz held her away and searched her face, reading her unspoken suggestion.

‘You’re sure that’s what you want?’

She opened her mouth to confirm it, then paused. She still hadn’t told him they were both army, and she didn’t want to. Tonight wasn’t a night for talking Green, or comparing tours or barracks.

She tried to debate whether she ought to tell him or not.

Military-wise, there nothing compelling her to tell him. They were both single, both commissioned officers, and he wasn’t even in the same corps as her, let alone unit, so there was no conflict. He’d mentioned he was heading out on a tour of duty, that was true, but her tour of duty was a non-combat one so Fitz could be going to a different country, not just region, from her. And even if he was going to the same area, that would mean he’d probably be based out of Camp Razorwire, where she’d spent the first three months of her tour.

But when she returned she would be working in the local civilian hospital almost a couple of hundred miles and about an hour’s helicopter ride away. She’d be working with a different field hospital team on the first wave of a twelve-month hearts-and-minds mission to rebuild the damaged hospital and train the local doctors to carry out surgical techniques for the benefit of the population there.

There was no conflict, no issue, no need to tell him. Tonight she really could be Just Elle. With a clear conscience.

‘Yes, I’m sure that’s what I want.’ She nodded.

Fitz didn’t answer, he didn’t move. He just perused her face again, as if making his own mind up about something.

A horrid thought occurred to her.

‘Is that what you want?’ she asked abruptly.

‘Yes, I want you.’ He didn’t even hesitate. ‘God, I want you.’

His simple, direct, sure response fanned that fire that seemed to burn inside her, making her feel almost feverish. The pulsing in her body redirected itself to between her legs.

‘I just want to know what that hesitation was. I need to be sure.’

‘That wasn’t about this. But I guess I’ll just have to convince you.’

She was proud of herself for keeping the shake out of her tone as she stepped back into his circle of space and ran her finger lightly down his sharp jawline. Then, with a whisper-light touch, she brushed her lips on his. His response was immediate, as she’d hoped it would be.

This time his kiss was hotter, hungrier, and lethally practised. His hands moving over her body trailed sparks in their wake. Her body thrummed beneath his touch and dimly she acknowledged that after sleeping with Fitz there would be no going back. She would never be the same again. Sex would never be the same again.

Elle trembled at the mere thought, and it seemed to spur Fitz on as he muttered against her lips.

‘Then let’s get out of here.’

Chapter Four

IT WAS ALL Fitz could do to keep a controlled pace, with her boots echoing quickly next to him, their arms entwined. As if he could outpace the niggle of doubt, the wondering if this was a bad idea.

Not because he didn’t want her. Because he did. God knew, his body ached for her—literally. And not because he hadn’t had one-night stands before. He’d had his share.

But there was something different about Elle.

It had been so subtle that he hadn’t really noticed it at first. He’d been drawn in by the attraction, nothing more. The realisation had been more recent, when it was too late to do anything about it; somewhere along the line, Elle had begun to scrape away at something deep inside him. She made him feel more than just physical attraction. She piqued his interest, stirred his soul. She made him feel a connection between the two of them.

Uncovering a truth about himself that he’d buried a long time ago.

And he couldn’t afford to let her.

Because the truth was that he couldn’t allow himself to feel any connection. He couldn’t allow himself emotions. A mutual physical attraction was one thing, but anything more and he’d end up destroying the other person.

Hadn’t he learned as much from his mother? His sister? Janine?

All three of them. Crushed. Shattered. Two of them dead. All because he’d let them down, betrayed them.

Fitz had sworn he’d never let himself get close to another person to hurt them like that, and for over ten years he’d managed just that. One-night stands or short-lived relationships had kept that loneliness, that darkness at bay. His career had done the rest and Fitz didn’t intend for it to end any time soon, which was easier said than done.

It was part of the natural military order that a good proportion of officers didn’t progress to the next rank, with multiple majors all after a handful of lieutenant colonel postings. Fitz’s aim was to become a full colonel, then brigadier beyond that. But right now there were multiple new lieutenant colonels like him, all fighting for the same single position. It was a matter of dedicating oneself to rising through the officer ranks with focus, speed and ability, sacrificing personal relationships with barely a second thought.

Now, suddenly, for the first time he found himself standing still for a moment, taking stock and wondering what his life might have been like if he’d made different choices. And he couldn’t afford to think that way because there was no other choice for him.

He was damaged. Hadn’t Janine told him so? And hadn’t her father told him that he destroyed lives? Weren’t his mother and sister proof of that?

‘Fitz? What is it?’

It was only when Elle swung around to face him, stopping him altogether, that Fitz realised he’d slowed down to almost a standstill. He made himself look her in the eye.

It was a mistake. Emerald depths stared unblinkingly back at him, wide and intelligent.

‘You understand tonight is all I can offer you?’ He barely recognised the raw quality to his voice.

‘I know that.’

The almost imperceptible quiver in her response gave her away. He had to force himself to continue, even as his brain was screaming at him that he was just trying to come up with excuses and he couldn’t explain why.

‘Yes, but do you really understand what that means?’

Elle snorted, but her eyes dropped momentarily from his as though she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

‘Of course I do. I’m pretty sure the term one-night stand is self-explanatory.’

‘And you said yourself that up until two weeks ago you’d been with one man for fourteen years. Are you sure you’re prepared for a one-night stand?’

‘Are you saying I’m too sweet? Because, believe me, I’ve heard that before.’

‘There are two kinds of sweet, Just Elle: naughty and nice.’ Was that really his voice, so thick and carnal? ‘I’m trying to work out which one you are.’

He couldn’t help himself. Lifting a finger, he traced the velvet-soft skin of her cheek. She swallowed.

‘Why don’t you kiss me again and find out?’

Before he realised it, he’d hooked his finger under her chin and dropped an obliging, if restrained kiss on those deliciously swollen lips.

Another mistake.

Her eyes were glassy with desire, only serving to stoke the furnace that was already consuming him from the inside out. He wanted her with a ferocity he’d never known before. Not even with Janine.

Elle might look wholesome but she tasted like pure sin, even without that wantonly lithe body pressed so tightly against his. Without knowing it, he’d already memorised everything about her, from the way that autumnal curtain tumbled and bounced past her shoulders and down her back to the way her leather trousers clung so lovingly to her feminine curves and the shimmering, metallic green top that skimmed her waist and swung to reveal a gap at the back, giving tantalisingly discreet glimpses of smooth, bare skin.

And then she stepped into him again and there was nothing discreet about the way the hard buds of her nipples pushed through the thin material, or the way his thumb seared as he slid it into the gap and ran it down her exposed back. Not to mention the seductive heat between her legs, which was pure, full-on sexy.

‘What did you decide?’ she managed, her breathing rapid and shallow.

That she abraded a deep, black part of himself that he couldn’t allow to be exposed. That he should walk away from her now. That he wanted her with a hunger he couldn’t seem to control.

‘I didn’t,’ he growled.

‘Then let me make it easier for you. Tonight I’m the naughty side of sweet, and I want you. And you said you want me too.’

The husky whisper was his undoing.

Yes, he was toxic. To forget that was to step onto a dangerous track. If he went to Elle’s hotel tonight, if he slept with her—and, God, he wanted to—then that had to be it. Like any other time, like any other woman. Sex was simply sex. Whatever it was that she scraped away inside him, he could shut that down. He had to.

Fitz cupped her head in his hands and kissed her fiercely again, as if testing himself, as if proving that the physical could be split out from anything else that had no business swirling around his chest. He kissed her until his head sparked and his body ached with such intensity it was almost agony, until he was finally convinced he was back on solid ground and it was all about the physical again.

And then he grabbed her hand and led her to the hotel and into the lift, barely releasing her long enough to press the button for the floor before pulling her against him, her back up to his chest, sliding that glorious curtain of hair to one side and dipping his head on the other side to kiss the base of her neck, as she leaned back into him and sighed softly. Perfectly.

* * *

They tumbled into her room. The heavy wooden door, restrained by its soft closing mechanism, seemed to close too slowly for Elle, firing up her sense of anticipation. Then, when it finally shut with an audible click, the weight of expectation that accompanied that soft sound was unmistakeable.