A Mother For His Family

‘The one due to have the baby?’

Ben looked surprised again. ‘How did you know that?’

‘We heard about you.’ Tori sounded perfectly innocent but her smile suggested that the information had all been good.

Ben returned the smile. ‘You have an advantage over me, then.’ He ate in silence for a minute. ‘So...tell me about you.’

The glance was intended to draw Sarah into the conversation and she was happy to comply.

‘We’re both nurses,’ she reminded him. ‘I’m in paediatrics and Tori’s in the emergency department at the moment.’

‘Where are you from?’

‘New Zealand. Auckland.’

‘The largest city, right?’

Sarah nodded. ‘And you? You sound English.’

Ben mirrored her nod. ‘I’m a Londoner through and through.’

‘Bit of a change working here, then.’

‘A dream job,’ Tori declared. ‘Do you need any nurses?’

Ben laughed. ‘It’s not all free lunches at luxury resorts. I do work a couple of days a week at a hospital in Suva.’

‘But you don’t live on the main island?’

‘No. I have my own little beach.’ For an instant, Ben’s face was shuttered. Then he smiled at Tori. ‘How long are you here for?’

‘Only a week.’ Tori wrinkled her nose. ‘I have a feeling it’s not going to be nearly long enough.’

‘You’ll just have to make the most of every minute.’

‘Oh, I intend to.’

Sarah ate her way through a wonderful salad that combined mango and pawpaw with rice and some flavours she couldn’t identify. She felt shut out already but she wasn’t going to spoil Tori’s fun. If she needed a holiday romance to make her happy, why not? Maybe the gorgeous Ben would actually turn out to be the love of her life and they would settle in their island paradise and live happily ever after.

Tuning back into the conservation at the table became unavoidable as Sarah realised that Tori was beginning to cover some rather personal ground.

‘It was Sarah that mostly nursed Mum through the last few weeks after the second stroke,’ she was saying. ‘So it was even harder on her.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Ben sounded very sincere but then his tone changed. ‘You two are sisters?’

Sarah met the curious glance defensively. Yes, she was taller than Tori, her hair long, straight and dark in contrast to bouncy blonde curls and her body lean and lacking any attractive curves. And, yes, their personalities were just as different and Sarah was not about to bare her soul or anything else to a stranger.

‘Foster-sisters.’ Tori seemed unaware of any warning signals Sarah was emanating. ‘But it’s been the real thing for ever as far as I’m concerned. Sas came to live with us when she was fourteen and I was eight.’ Tori’s smile at Sarah was loving. ‘I’d always wanted an older sister I could annoy.’ She laughed. ‘I’m twenty-four now and I still manage to annoy her.’

‘Only sometimes,’ Sarah said mildly. ‘But I’m sure Ben isn’t interested in hearing the details of our family history.’

Her disapproval of sharing personal information hadn’t been masked as well as she’d thought but the slightly awkward silence that fell was broken only seconds later as a woman wearing a silky white sarong paused by their table.

‘Ben! How lovely to see you again.’ She laughed at his obvious mental scramble. ‘Lisa,’ she supplied. ‘I was here this time last year.’

‘Ah...’ Ben’s face cleared. ‘Sunburn.’

Lisa smiled. ‘I hope I thanked you properly for taking such good care of me.’

‘Of course.’ Ben cleared his throat, looking vaguely uncomfortable.

Lisa was looking over the top of her sunglasses at Tori, and Sarah had a wild desire to laugh aloud. Was this one of last year’s conquests eyeing up the competition?

She put down her fork, her appetite suddenly sated. OK, she probably couldn’t stop Tori if she wanted to have a fling but she would have to make sure Tori didn’t have any dreams about it being the real thing. Ben Dawson might be incredibly good looking and charming but he was a flirt. A playboy. A complete lightweight who had set himself up in a perfect playground with an enticingly large field of probably very willing playmates.

Sarah wanted no part of it. She especially didn’t want someone like this knowing too much about her. Sympathy, however sincere it might be, concerning her appalling childhood would not be welcome. At least even Tori’s trusting openness couldn’t reveal everything. There had only ever been one person who had known all there was to know about her and sadly she had taken Sarah’s secrets with her to her grave only six months ago.

The woman in the sarong had moved on now. Ben stood up.

‘I’ve got a bit of housekeeping to do at the medical centre,’ he excused himself. ‘I’d better get on with it.’

‘You’ve got a medical centre here?’

‘Just a small one,’ he responded to Tori. ‘Would you like to see it?’

She nodded, pushing her chair back. ‘Coming, Sas?’

Sarah shook her head. ‘I might go and have a chat to Marjorie and see how her ankle is doing. Then I intend to go and flop on the beach with my book.’

Tori turned back and Sarah knew that if she wanted company she only had to say so. However attracted Tori was to Ben Dawson, at present it was simply intended as fun. If Sarah needed her, there was no question of where her loyalties would lie.

So Sarah smiled encouragingly. ‘You go,’ she told Tori. ‘You’ll know where to find me later.’

‘Are you sure you don’t want to come?’

‘Absolutely.’ Sarah’s use of the affirmation Ben seemed to prefer was deliberate.

Dark eyes regarded her with a quizzical expression but his smile was more than simply courteous. ‘Nice meeting you, Sarah. And thanks for your help with Marjorie.’

‘It was a pleasure.’

‘Let’s hope the rest of your holiday isn’t interrupted by further medical dramas.’

‘Or any other sort,’ Sarah murmured.

‘Indeed.’ Ben held her gaze just long enough to let her know he had received her message. Then he turned to Tori and his easy grin surfaced again. He crooked his elbow. ‘Shall we?’

‘Absolutely.’ Tori slid her arm through his, turned to give Sarah a gleeful glance and then they were gone, screened by the palms lining the pathway to the main building complex.

Sarah stood up slowly, oddly disappointed that her suspicions regarding Ben’s integrity had been so readily confirmed. Then she shrugged inwardly. What business of hers was it, anyway? She wasn’t her sister’s keeper and spending some time alone would not detract in any way from her enjoyment of these surroundings. Sarah Mitchell had learned very early in life that her own company could be preferable at times.

She didn’t have to be by herself right now, anyway. Shading her eyes, she gazed towards the pool.

‘Yoohoo!’ Marjorie raised a champagne flute in her direction. ‘Over here, darling! We’ve saved a glass for you.’

CHAPTER TWO

‘IT’S you he’s interested in.’

Sarah snorted. ‘Yeah, sure.’

‘I’m serious.’ Tori buried her spoon into the bowl of fruit salad she had chosen for dessert. ‘Is that mango or pawpaw, do you think?’ She popped it into her mouth without waiting for Sarah’s opinion and sighed with pleasure. ‘Mmm. Whatever it is, it’s delicious.’

The dance floor of the resort’s main restaurant was being taken over by a group of islanders as Sarah and Tori finished their dinner. Men crouched to one side, holding small drums, and the women lined up, barefoot. Grass skirts swirled and rustled as they moved and the garlands of tropical flowers in their hair and around their wrists and necks added vibrant colour to the scene. Sarah turned her chair so she could watch the performance and from the first unaccompanied notes of rich harmony as the group started singing she was utterly captivated.

The song was joyous, the faces smiling, but somewhere in the layers of harmony there was a poignant sound that recognised how suffering could contribute to happiness. Sarah had never heard anything like it and was moved almost to tears. Then the mood changed and the women stamped their feet to the beat of the drums. The music soared with the new tempo and it was impossible not to tap her feet and clap along with it.

It wasn’t until she was clapping until her hands hurt at the end of the performance that Sarah noticed Tori’s face.

‘What’s so funny?’

‘You were practically dancing on the table, Sas.’

‘I was not!’

‘Yes, you were!’ Tori was still grinning. ‘If Ben had seen you just now he wouldn’t think you were so uptight.’ She stood up. ‘Let’s go for a walk on the beach. I want to see the last of that sunset.’

Sarah followed but she wasn’t thinking about any sunsets. She had been ignoring Tori’s odd comments about Ben ever since she had come back from her tour of the medical centre, but this one had touched a real nerve.

‘Did he actually say he thought I was uptight?’

Tori nodded. ‘He asked what your problem was—and if it was all men you didn’t trust or just him in particular?’

Sarah chuckled. ‘Both.’ But her amusement faded rapidly. How could he have seen so much in such a short space of time? Especially when she knew how good she was at keeping things hidden. ‘I hope you didn’t spend your whole time together talking about me.’

‘Enough to give me the distinct impression that it’s not my company he would prefer. I’m happy to back off, Sas. Why don’t you give him a chance?’

‘Even if I was desperate for a man—which I’m not—he’d be the last one I’d choose.’

‘Why?’

‘He’s not attractive.’ If she said it firmly enough, she would believe it. Wouldn’t she?

Tori certainly didn’t. ‘Oh, come on! He’s gorgeous! Kind of halfway between Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson, I thought.’

‘Looks aren’t everything. You should have learned that much from Robert.’ Sarah stooped to pick up the sandals she had just kicked off. She wiggled her toes in the sand appreciatively. ‘A cute body and a killer smile are purely surface attributes. They don’t really count much as far as I’m concerned.’

‘What does really count, then?’

‘Kindness,’ Sarah answered after a thoughtful pause. ‘And intelligence.’

‘Ben’s kind. Look at how much those kids love him. And he’s a doctor, for heaven’s sake. He can’t be stupid.’

‘He’s not a real doctor.’ Sarah shook her head dismissively. ‘Looking after sunburnt tourists at holiday resorts? It’s a cop-out. Like working on a cruise ship or for a drug company. Doctors like that don’t really want a career. They’re in it for the social life and the status. Oh...look!’

Sarah was more than ready to change the subject. That odd feeling of being somehow let down returned every time she thought about Ben and his tropical island dream job. She was pointing now to make sure Tori turned her attention seawards. The final throes of a dramatic blood-red sunset were gilding the water and highlighting the silhouettes of smaller, surrounding islands. The perfect finishing touch was a replica sailing ship, just beginning to furl some of the huge sails as it made its way towards the jetty.

Tori sank down on the sand to sit beside Sarah, but she could enjoy the view and talk at the same time.

‘I think you’re wrong about Ben, Sas. I like him, I really do.’

‘He’s all yours, then,’ Sarah said lightly. ‘Think of him as part of the holiday package. An extra treat.’

‘I’d rather you had the treat.’

‘Why?’ Sarah forgot the sunset for a moment as she caught the unspoken message. ‘I’m OK, Tori. Maybe it has been two years since anyone’s been interested in me but I’m not burning up with frustration here.’

‘There’s plenty of interest. There always has been. You just chase everyone away.’

Sarah was silent for a few seconds. This wasn’t the kind of indignant ‘all men are bastards’ support she had come to rely on from Tori. She always started any relationship with the hope that this was going to be it, but she had clocked up enough experience now to know that they always turned to custard. The only variation was how long it took. Maybe Tori was right and it was her attitude that was at fault. It wasn’t the kind of thought conducive to a happy holiday, however, so Sarah tried to make a joke about it.

‘I only do that to save time,’ she said. ‘And pride. If I wait too long, they end up dumping me.’

‘Maybe that’s because they think you don’t trust them.’

‘I don’t trust them.’

Tori reached out to touch Sarah’s hand. ‘I know you had some awful stuff to deal with when you were a kid and I know you’ve never wanted to talk about it—’

‘It’s in the past,’ Sarah interrupted. ‘I’m over it.’

Tori’s blue eyes had darkened in the fading light. ‘It might still be doing damage, you know. All men aren’t really bastards, Sas. There’s some really good ones out there, too.’

‘I know that.’

‘I want you to find one.’

‘I will. One day.’

‘I worry about you.’

‘There’s no need. Honestly. I’m fine.’

Tori sighed, her gaze on the horizon again. ‘Mum always said that out of all the kids she fostered after Dad died, you were the one that had the most special place in her heart. She said it was you that made us into a whole family, not her.’

Sarah had to swallow the lump in her throat. She was going to miss Carol so much.

‘A wee while ago,’ Tori continued softly, ‘while Mum could still talk, she told me to watch out for you. To try and help you find the person who could help you create a family of your own. She said you had so much love to share it would be a terrible waste if you shut yourself away again.’

The sunset was forgotten, too blurred by tears to be enjoyed any more. Tori squeezed Sarah’s hand and they sat there in silence until the crimson faded to a soft peach and then pearl grey before the swift descent of darkness.

‘I love it here,’ Sarah said finally. By mutual consent they started walking back towards their bure. Their closeness allowed them to move on from a sad topic and cheer each other up with a perfect understanding of what had been shared and acknowledged. ‘It’s like stepping into a postcard. A little bit of fantasy.’

‘Speaking of fantasy...’ Tori smiled. ‘Haven’t yours ever included someone like Ben?’

‘Of course they have.’

‘Ooh. Do tell.’

‘No way. Fantasies are strictly private. And they’re never real...they can’t be.’

‘They could be,’ Tori said persuasively.

Sarah shook her head. ‘Reality never measures up. Sex is overrated.’

‘You’ve never been in love properly, that’s all.’

‘Nobody ever hangs around long enough for that to happen.’

It was Tori’s turn to do the head-shaking. ‘If you have to wait that long, or try and force it, then it’s not going to happen. You’re trying the wrong person. I think it—or at least the definite possibility of it—happens right from the first moment you see them.’

‘Like Ben?’

‘Oh, yes. He’d be very easy to fall in love with. That’s why I think he’d be good for you.’

‘Why would I want to fall in love with someone I’m only going to be around for a week?’

‘Practice.’ Tori grinned. ‘That way, when you get those funny butterfly flutters in your tummy next time, you’ll recognise them.’

Sarah laughed. ‘It would take a darn sight more than a twinge of lust to convince me. If you want to play with Dr Dawson, you go right ahead. Just leave me out of it.’

‘But he’s expecting you to come on this visit to the village tomorrow. He was most insistent that I persuade you to come with us.’

‘He’ll get over it.’

‘But what are you going to do while I’m gone?’

‘Swim,’ Sarah said decisively. ‘A real swim, not just splashing around on the shoreline. I might head for one of the other islands. Some of them are only a kilometre or two away.’

‘But what about sharks?’

‘I’ll try not to bleed in the water and attract them.’

Tori shuddered visibly. ‘Rather you than me. I’d stay close enough to the shore to get to safety if I were you.’

‘You’re not me. That’s the whole point. While you’re away doing something you want to do, I can do things I want to do that don’t interest you. It’s perfect. We’ll both enjoy ourselves. And we’ll both survive, I promise.’

Tori turned, her face a picture of enlightenment. ‘Ben is your shark,’ she said. ‘Isn’t he?’

Sarah just smiled. ‘Shall we have a quick swim in the dark before we go to bed?’

‘You can’t see sharks in the dark.’

‘We’ll stay very close to the shore.’

Tori giggled. ‘And we won’t bleed.’

‘Definitely not.’

‘OK. On one condition.’

‘What’s that?’

‘If I’m prepared to risk my shark then you have to risk yours. The next time Ben asks you to spend some time with him, you have to say yes.’

‘Not tomorrow. I really want a proper swim.’

‘The time after that, then.’

‘Sure.’ It was a safe enough agreement. Sarah would bet Ben Dawson had more than enough experience to know where any pay-off was likely to be. After she refused to accompany them to the village tomorrow, he would get the message she wasn’t interested and focus on Tori. And that way Sarah would be free to focus on enjoying every moment of the paradise she was discovering.

* * *

It just didn’t get any better than this.

The sea was calm enough to be masquerading as the world’s biggest swimming pool. Cool enough to be refreshing and allow the best physical workout Sarah had had in a long time. Treading water for a minute, Sarah shaded her eyes over the snorkelling mask she was wearing and took her bearings again to make sure she was still heading in the right direction.

It was just as well she had discussed her intentions with Nasoya, the man who looked after the diving equipment at the resort, when she had gone to borrow a mask and flippers. Her first choice of island was out of bounds, being the ‘honeymoon’ island. A tiny dot in the Pacific Ocean, it boasted an acre of palm forest and a single beach. Honeymooners could be dropped off, along with a luxury picnic, to spend the day in total privacy on an island of their own, and no one else could visit when it was being used.

So Sarah was heading for a larger island a little further away. This had a small village on it that supported itself growing sugar cane, and while Nasoya was impressed with Sarah’s energy he was much happier knowing that there would be a boat available to bring her back if she changed her mind about swimming. He would let the village know she was coming, he told her, and she could have something to eat and drink there if she wished.

The invitation was becoming more attractive after the effort of nearly an hour’s swimming. Sarah could see waves breaking near the entrance to the lagoon of the new island. There were fishing boats dotted sparsely nearby and Sarah could finally see the white strip of sand that marked her finishing point. A rest in the sun and maybe a fresh coconut with the top lopped off so she could drink the milk would be heaven.

The small, canoe-like boat with three children on board was on the sea side of the lagoon entrance and Sarah watched the boy in charge gauging which wave to catch to carry them through. He looked about nine or ten years old and seemed far too young for such a responsibility, but maybe island children grew up fast. There was another boy on board and a little girl who looked barely more than a toddler. Sarah trod water again briefly, looking over her shoulder as she wondered whether there was a parent in one of the nearby fishing boats, but they were all too far away to seem associated with the children.

The older boy chose a wave and paddled furiously to get ahead of it. The water surged behind the boat, lifting it up and pushing it forward. The small girl shrieked with delight as their speed increased but Sarah could feel her heart miss a beat. Sure enough, the boy’s paddling wasn’t strong enough to keep the boat in a straight line. It tipped sideways as the wave broke and to Sarah’s horror the boat overturned and the three children vanished beneath a layer of white foam.

For several heartbeats she could see nothing. The wave was spent. The fishing boats were still bobbing at a distance. The island backdrop looked like paradise and the lagoon was still. And empty. Sarah could almost think she had imagined the whole scene. Then an object surfaced from the still water beyond the waves. A smooth object.

The hull of an overturned boat.

There was no time or breath to waste on exclamations of dismay. Sarah was swimming for all she was worth now. She needed to catch a wave at the right point herself so that she didn’t end up on the dangerous coral reef that bordered the lagoon. Using the powerful overarm stroke that had won competitions in her school days, Sarah got ahead of the next wave forming and stayed with it as it carried her through the gap. The breaking surf pushed her below the surface for what seemed far too long and she shot up finally to catch her breath and start a frantic visual sweep of the calm water around her.

The older boy was still in the water, trying to help the younger one climb on top of the slippery boat hull. He was shouting and someone must have heard over the sound of the surf because more than one fishing boat was now heading in their direction. But where was the other child?

Sarah swam towards the boat. ‘Where is she?’ she called.

The boys both turned. Both looked frightened and neither answered her. Maybe they couldn’t understand her. She took just another second to check that both these children were clinging onto the boat well enough to keep themselves safe and then she turned, desperately searching the surface of the lagoon for any sign of the small girl. She would be floating...unless she was drowning, in which case she would be under the water and not on top of it.

Sarah dived and swam using a rapid breaststroke. Thank goodness the water was so clear. She could see the colours of the coral bed, the startling shapes of sea anemones and the astonishing diversity of the swarms of fish. There were so many fish it made it difficult to see anything else, in fact. Forced to surface, Sarah dragged in a huge gulp of air and then used her flippers to push down and reach the depths of the lagoon again.

It was harder to hold her breath this time. Looking ahead as far as she could, Sarah swam doggedly forward, unaware of the extraordinary beauty of her surroundings, totally focussed on finding something she couldn’t see. The burning in her lungs forced her upwards again and this time she had to take several painful gasps of air.

A fishing boat had reached the boys now and they were being pulled aboard. Another boat was riding the crest of a wave into the lagoon and Sarah could hear shouting from the shore. Islanders were gathering and some were running into the water. They would find the child with such numbers searching but it could well be too late by then. Sarah dragged in as much air as she could and went under the water again.

She didn’t swim forward this time. She stayed in one spot and turned slowly, scanning a full three hundred and sixty degrees, concentrating on areas that were obscured by the tendrils of sea plants.

And there she was. The little girl was floating just above the coral, looking for all the world as though she was peacefully asleep except that her eyes were wide open. Sarah’s heart lurched painfully enough to compete with the agony of lungs screaming for air but the surge of adrenaline was enough to propel her towards the small body. It was no real effort to take hold of the limp form and drag it towards the surface. Please, God, she cried silently, don’t let me be too late.

It wasn’t possible to do more than try a couple of breaths while she was in the water but somehow Sarah summoned the energy to swim rapidly to shore, towing the child under one arm. The villagers fell silent as she ran through the shallows and they stepped back when she laid the girl on the damp sand, opened her airway and felt for a pulse. A woman wailed—a high keening sound that conveyed the very clear message that they knew it was too late.