A Cowboy's Heart

Her mother put down her coffee mug. “Is Kyle taking you?”

“No.”

“No?” She sounded disappointed. Her mom kept hoping Liz would meet the right man and settle down. “Then Sadie must have prevailed on Jarod to drive you.”

Sadie’s world had been transformed since she’d married Jarod Bannock six months ago. “They offered to take me, but I said no.”

“That leaves Dr. Rafferty. Did he offer you the loan of his truck?”

“Yes.”

“But you turned him down, too.”

“I don’t like being beholden to anyone.”

“So you decided to rent a new truck. That’s awfully expensive. I happen to know you’ve been saving your winnings to pay back your vet school loan.”

“No, Mom.” Liz put a hand on her mother’s arm. “Early this morning Connor came by the arena and asked me to drive with him.”

Like clockwork a shadow crossed over her mother’s face. “Connor...as in Connor Bannock.”

“Mom...”

Liz knew that came as a huge shock to her mother, who got up from the table. “You mean in his fancy hotel on wheels?”

“Unless he has to fly, it’s the way he’s been getting around for the past four years. It’s not nearly as luxurious as some you see at the events. His handlers will bring Polly and his second horse down in his older rig. He’s not a show-off, Mom, that much I do know about him.”

He was all cowboy, tough and daring to the point that she often chewed her nails watching him shoot out of the barrier on his horse. He was so fast, his event was over before you could blink. Any pictures the journalists got of Connor had to be taken while they ran after him, because he never hung around after the required autographing sessions and photo shoots for his Wrangler sponsor. She and Sadie had often commented that both Bannock brothers were the least vain cowboys they knew.

“After all these years, why would he suddenly ask you now?”

Liz wanted an answer to that same burning question, but she said, “Ralph put him up to it. You know he did.”

“I’m sure you’re right about that, honey.”

If Liz went with him, then she’d find out why he’d decided to honor his grandfather’s wishes, but she’d known this would be her mother’s reaction. Without hesitation she spent the next few minutes telling her the gist of their conversation at the arena. When she’d finished, Millie started to clear the dishes.

“Mom?” she prodded her.

“You’re a grown woman, honey, and don’t need my permission about anything.”

Picking up her water glass, Liz took it over to put in the dishwasher. “I wasn’t asking for permission,” she said quietly.

Her mom turned to her with a sober expression. “You want my approval, otherwise you would have let me find out after the fact. But I don’t want that responsibility. For years I watched you and Sadie grow up, both of you dying for love of the Bannock brothers. In Sadie’s case, her love was reciprocated, whereas—”

“Connor hardly knew I existed and married someone else,” Liz finished the sentence for her. Although they’d been neighbors, she’d never spent time alone with him, not even at the competitions. “Even having gone through a divorce, I doubt he’s ever stopped loving her. Wasn’t that what you were going to say?”

“Only that your infatuation with him has never ended,” her mother murmured.

“You’re right. I’ve been thinking about that all day. Infatuation isn’t love. It’s a crush I never outgrew. After all these years of being haunted by him, I have an opportunity for the first time to get a real dose of him, one-on-one. I’m convinced that driving to Las Vegas with him will be a revelation and provide the cure I’ve been needing.”

“And if it isn’t?”

Liz took a deep breath. “If it isn’t, then I’ll have to take a serious look at my life and make changes.”

Her mother turned to look out the window. “That’s what has me worried. Bannocks never pull up roots. That means you’ll be the one who leaves us and move somewhere else.”

“You’re so sure of that? I’m thinking this will be my one and only chance to see who he really is and get over what has prevented me from moving on with another man.”

A sigh escaped Millie’s lips. “I only know one thing. I’m afraid to tell your father. He hasn’t wanted anything to distract you before the competition. When he hears about this...”

Liz hugged her mom for a long time. “I’ll talk to him and make him understand.”

Chapter Two

Connor’s black-and-silver horse trailer, hitched to his four-door black truck, contained everything you needed for comfortable living on the road. Two horse stalls with an extrawide floor and nonslip rubber matting, a niche with a bed and a sofa/pullout bed, a living/dining room, satellite TV, kitchen and bathroom, all in a nutmeg-colored wood with a ranch motif.

While Connor stashed her bags on board and showed her parents around, Liz took Sunflower’s temperature one more time, and checked her eyes and nose before putting her in bell boots for protection during the journey. Now that the horse was ready to travel, she led Sunflower from the barn and loaded her into the trailer stall next to Firebrand.

Liz threw light rugs over each of them. Who knew whether the big sorrel gelding loaded in the roadside stall would like Sunflower’s company or not? They were as unused to each other as Liz was to Connor. Despite the long journey ahead, Liz wasn’t nervous and couldn’t figure out why.

When she’d told her father she was going to drive with Connor, he’d been surprisingly supportive. “I’m glad you’ll be with someone who’s been hauling himself and his horse around for a long time. More snow is forecast over the whole intermountain region for the next few days. He’s got the kind of equipment you need to keep you and Sunflower safe and comfortable.”

Between the lines she read all the things he didn’t say or warn her about. He didn’t have to. She saw it in his eyes. Liz had the greatest parents on earth.

After she’d loaded her lightweight, high-horned saddle, she put the collapsible pop-up barrels she used for practice in the tack room of the trailer. She’d brought protein feed for her horse, wanting to keep a balance between forage and grain. Once she’d gathered her medical bag and stored it with everything, it was time to go.

She hugged her mom and then turned to her father. “I’m going to give it everything I’ve got to win, Dad. Thanks to you and Mom, and all your expert help, I think I have a chance.”

“I know you do, Lizzie girl. Since Connor wants to win, too, I think you two are the best kind of company for each other. You already know what it’s like to be in each other’s skin, so to speak. You’ll be able to offer each other the right sort of tips and comfort. Anyone not competing wouldn’t know what you’re facing, particularly when this competition will be the last for both of you.”

Her dad understood everything.

“I can’t believe this day is finally here.”

He gave her that endearing lopsided grin. “Either you’re growing up way too fast, or I’m getting too old.”

“You’re not getting old.” She hugged him hard. Please don’t ever get old.

“Your mom and I will fly down on the fourteenth for the big night. Call us when you have a moment here and there.”

“I’ll call you when we get to Salt Lake tonight.”

Connor had been standing close by and shook his head. “If the weather forecast is correct, we’ll be lucky if we make it to the Utah border.”

Her mom grabbed her one more time. “We’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

“I promise to stay in close touch.”

“I love you, honey.”

Tears stung Liz’s eyelids. When she looked in her mother’s eyes, she saw a whole world of love, fear, concern and pride. “Not as much as I love you,” she whispered before climbing into the truck cab.

“I made some chili and rolls for you to enjoy on the way down. I put everything in the fridge.”

“Thanks, Millie. We’ll love it!” Connor called to her before she shut the door. His friends had already come to the barn to pick up Polly. Liz had given her a complete checkup first, and a treat, promising to see her soon. There was nothing left to be done.

Connor, wearing a green plaid shirt, jeans and well-worn boots, was already behind the wheel, ready to go. Minus the Stetson he’d tossed in the backseat, his hair had a disheveled look she’d seen often enough when he was wrestling a steer to the ground. That look suited him.

She wouldn’t describe Connor as handsome in the traditional sense. Authentic male was what came to mind when she looked at the arrangement of lines and angles making up his hard-boned features.

Striking when the sun blazed down on his tanned skin.

Beautiful in motion when he mounted his horse bareback for a run.

Unforgettable when he flashed a quick smile or broke out in laughter, usually from some remark his friend Wade murmured at the gate so no one else could hear.

The kaleidoscope of pictures stored in her mind was there for good. Hopefully on this trip she’d see what was on the inside, the intangible traits that truly mattered and shaped the inner man. Was his inner self equally worthy of such admiration? If the cover of the book was better than the story, now was the time to find out.

Deep in thought, she didn’t realize they’d pulled to a stop in front of the Bannock ranch house until Connor said, “Grandpa asked me if we’d come in so he could say goodbye and wish you luck.”

“How sweet of him. I’d love to.”

She jumped out into the snow and headed for the front porch. The temperature had to be close to thirty-two degrees. She zipped her parka all the way. It looked as though they’d be driving under an overcast sky most of the way today.

Connor opened the door and they headed for the den where they found his grandfather at his desk. The blaze from the fireplace gave out delicious warmth. The older man looked up with a smile and got to his feet. “Well, Liz.”

“Hi again, Ralph.” She hurried across the room to give him a hug. Liz had been here many times over the years.

“Connor told me you agreed to drive with him. Is he taking good care of you?”

“Of course. I’m a very lucky girl.”

“It pleases me that my two favorite champions will be together. I have a little gift for the two of you.” He pulled a small leather pouch out of his shirt pocket. “Avery picked it up for me on her way home from work yesterday.”

Avery was Connor’s sister. Liz couldn’t imagine what the pouch could hold.

Connor’s gaze shot to hers. “Go ahead and open it.”

From inside the pouch she pulled out what looked like a silver charm bracelet. “You hang it on the rearview mirror of the truck to bring you luck. I chose the charms myself for this red-letter moment in your lives. See that horseshoe? Both of you have beaten me at the game any number of times. The next charm is a boot for riding. There’s a cowboy hat. The others are a horse in motion, a bulldogger on his horse, a cowgirl barrel racing, and a heart with wings for love of country.”

Liz was so touched that, once again, her throat swelled. “This gift is priceless, Ralph.”

She noticed that Connor’s eyes took on a haunted look when he glanced at his grandfather. Why?

“We’ll treasure it.”

“If Addie and your parents were here, son, they’d tell you and Liz to take it with our prayers and blessings. We’ve always been proud of both of you and know you’ll do your best at the competition. We’ll all be watching the Great American Country broadcast on cable. Whatever happens, come back safe. That’s all I ask.”

Full of emotion, Liz clutched the bracelet in her hand before reaching for him once more. “All we ask is that you stay well. I promised my folks we’d stay in close touch. We’ll make the same promise to you. Without your help, I would never have made it this far. Whenever I got discouraged, you would never let me stay down.”

“Ditto,” Connor said in a husky tone of voice, and gave his grandfather a bear hug.

The older man whispered, “Good luck,” to him, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

She waved to Ralph from the doorway. “See you soon.” Without waiting for Connor, she hurried out of the house to the truck. He needed a minute with his grandfather, and she needed to treasure this special moment in private. Both she and Sadie had always loved Ralph and Addie. Like her own parents, she thought they were just about perfect.

Carefully she undid the chain clasp so she could hang the bracelet. To make certain it was visible, she draped it over the mirror. The little charms tinkled as they dangled.

A minute later Connor strode toward the truck and climbed in behind the wheel. He fingered one of the charms, and then flicked his gaze to hers. “Grandpa thinks the world of you to have given you this.”

“Didn’t you notice it’s for both of us? Whenever he talks about you, his eyes light up.”

An odd silence followed her remark. She didn’t understand and wondered what he was thinking as he started the engine.

“Before we leave, is there anything you’ve forgotten?”

“If I have, it’s not important.”

“Bless you.” Spoken like a man. She chuckled before he said, “Let’s go.”

They drove away from the ranch to the highway, cleared of snow since the storm the other night. “I’d like to reach North Salt Lake by evening. I made a reservation at the RV park on the outskirts with easy access.”

“Sounds good to me. In case of more snow, I’d planned to drive as far as I could through Wyoming before finding a motel. I’m really grateful you asked me to come with you.”

“Did you have someone to drive with you if I hadn’t asked you?”

A vision of Kyle passed through her mind. She looked out the passenger window. “Yes. I had several offers from friends and family, but this is one trip I wanted to take alone. Knowing it’s my last one, I didn’t feel like sharing the experience with anyone else.”

He sat back in the seat. “So how come you came with me?”

“Honestly?” she answered with another question.

“Shoot.”

“Because you’re not anyone else. When I told Dad I was driving with you, he said we were the best kind of company for each other since we already know what it’s like to be in each other’s skin.”

“He was right.”

“You’ve been to nationals and have won back-to-back world championships five times. Now you’re trying for your sixth! This is my first time and you know exactly how vulnerable I’m feeling on the inside. I’m full of doubts and ambitions no else could understand, no one but someone like you, who’s already experienced all those emotions and triumphed.”

“That’s the problem,” he muttered. “No matter how many triumphs, you’re only as good as your last one.”

“I know. I find that out every time I compete at another rodeo.”

“If you know that already, then you know a hell of a lot more than ninety-nine percent of your competition who believe their own hype.”

His unexpected burst of emotion showed he felt as vulnerable as she did. Maybe more, because this would be his last competition. The need to prove himself one more time had to be testing his mettle in ways she couldn’t fathom. No one would ever suspect that of Connor Bannock, the picture of confidence personified.

“In all honesty, I’m afraid, Connor,” she admitted under her breath.

“Of failure?”

“A lot more than that. No matter what happens, I don’t know what the future’s going to be like without having a goal. I’ve been pursuing this dream for so long, it’s taken up the hours of my world, consciously and subconsciously for years. Of course, I have my career, but that’s different. I can’t imagine what it will be like to wake up on December 15, knowing it’s truly over...and the rest of my life is still ahead of me,” she whispered.

“Lady, you just said a mouthful.”

Liz turned her head toward him in surprise. “You too?”

“In spades.”

* * *

SO FAR, NO snow had fallen, but it was coming. Connor felt the icy wind from a bleak sky while he and Liz walked their horses at their first roadside park stop. Two hours at a time was as much as their animals could handle riding in the trailer. Their muscles got tired of trying to maintain their footing and needed the rest.

With them tied up outside, he and Liz ate sandwiches and drank hot coffee in the trailer. Her earlier admission about thinking she’d be at a loss once the competition was over was so in tune with his own feelings, they seemed to have achieved a level of understanding that didn’t require a lot of conversation. He didn’t feel the need to fill the gaps of silence. Neither did she.

By late afternoon, they’d made their fourth stop to exercise the horses. Inside the trailer they both made calls. He checked with Ben, the ranch foreman. Connor had hired a new hand to keep all the equipment on the ranch in top shape. That had been Ned’s job. Ben sounded hopeful this new guy would work out. As they talked, Connor could hear Liz talking to Dr. Rafferty about a sick horse.

Once their phone business was done, they cleaned up the stall floor before watering the horses and replenishing their hay nets. Soon they’d brought the horses back inside and were on their way again.

Since his quickie divorce from Reva Stevens two years ago in Reno, he’d dated women, but he’d never taken any of them on the road with him. This was a first since the disastrous marriage in Las Vegas that had only lasted a year. His grandfather had never said anything, but Connor knew the older man hadn’t been happy about his impulsive marriage to the L.A. TV anchor.

They’d made their base at her condo in L.A. When he wasn’t spending time with her, he traveled the rodeo circuit and worked on the ranch. She stayed on the ranch with him for a week after their honeymoon, but ranch life didn’t hold her long. Both of them were too driven by ambition to put the other person first. The long separations took their toll, and divorce had seemed the only solution.

Though they hadn’t been able to make it work, Reva called him from time to time. He kept their conversations short. He missed her in his bed. That had never changed, but it was everything else.

Liz’s comment about being afraid of the future had resonated with him big-time.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed her reading something on her iPad. “Anything interesting?”

“Yes. I’ve been checking stats. Dustine Hoffman just won the barrel-racing event at the Tom Thumb Texas Stampede in 13.71 seconds. She’s everyone’s competition.”

He whistled. “That arena gives you faster time than the one in Las Vegas with its special soil.”

She rolled her eyes at him. Between the dark lashes, they were as green as lime zest. He’d never seen eyes that exact color. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better. The truth is, she’s a great athlete.”

“So are you.” Connor discovered that Liz had a great mouth, too. Soft and full, not too wide, but he couldn’t afford to take his eyes off the road. “Didn’t you do a 13.70 at Bakersfield?”

“I doubt I’ll see a number that low again, but I can dream.”

He knew all about that. “Did you read anything else interesting?”

A sly smile broke the corner of her mouth. “There must be a hundred blogs devoted to Connor Bannock. Your fans stretch around the country and back. Jocko Mendez from the Southeastern circuit in Arkansas is your closest competition, but word is out that Las Vegas is betting on you. Have you ever read any of them?”

She tried to get him off the subject of her.

“I don’t have time.” He let out a sigh. “Do yourself a favor and forget about Dustine Hoffman’s stats. Concentrate on your routine with Sunflower. I watched you working with her the other morning. I’m impressed how well she body rates and changes leads between the first and second barrel.”

“But I hear a but. What aren’t you telling me?”

Liz was such a quick study, he needed to stay on his toes. “Am I that transparent?”

“Yes!”

He laughed. It was refreshing to be with someone who was too guileless to be anything but honest...unlike Reva, who’d harbored hurts and suspicions, then exploded at an unexpected moment.

“I notice you were working with wax reins, but they can be sticky. You have to really watch your hands with those. When they stick, you’re pulling your horse around the barrel when you should be guiding her.”

“Was that what I was doing the other morning?”

“No. I happened to notice it at your competition in Great Falls.”

“You did?”

“Liz—we’re not always at the same rodeos, but when we are, I make it a priority to watch my neighbor’s performance.”

She stirred in the seat. “I had no idea.”

“When we get to Las Vegas, try using a knot rein at practice. They still slide when needed, but you might like the feel of them better. It’s just a thought.”

“But valuable input, coming from you. I’ll try it.”

One eyebrow lifted. “You’re not offended?”

“By advice from you? What else did you see I can improve on?”

Connor decided she was like her dad, who didn’t have a resentful, paranoid bone in his body. “Not a thing.”

“Liar,” she said with a smile, but it soon faded when stronger than usual gusts of wind buffeted the trailer. “Whoa—”

“Another storm front is moving in, but we’re making good time so far. I’m glad we’ve reached Kemmerer. There’s an RV park a mile away where I made a reservation, just in case. We may have to spend the night in Wyoming after all. I don’t want to take chances with priceless cargo.”

“You’re right, of course. Our horses are precious.”

“I was referring to you,” he murmured.

Though she didn’t dare take him seriously, her heart jumped anyway. “You sounded like your grandfather just then. Between your father and Ralph, you’ve had remarkable role models in them and it shows.”

She saw his hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter. “You don’t know my history. I’m afraid Grandpa has about given up on me.”

There he went again. Something was going on where his grandfather was concerned, and she was curious. “Why would you say that? While he was hugging you, he had tears in his eyes, he’s so proud.”

“Those were tears of disappointment. I should have quit the circuit several years ago in order to help him and Jarod.”

Liz decided to take a risk. “Don’t tell me your cousin Ned got to you, too, before he was put in that mental health facility—”

She heard his breath catch and knew she’d hit a nerve. “Sadie told me he about destroyed Jarod’s confidence before they got back together. It sounds like he did a pretty good job on you, too. What did he tell you? That you didn’t have what it took to run the Bannock ranch? Or did he make digs that you were running away from your responsibilities by letting the rodeo take over your life since your father’s death?”

Connor stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You need to talk about it! Don’t forget your grandfather was a rodeo champion in his day. He’s in heaven watching you rack up the gold buckles.”

Snow started to pelt the windshield, but she hardly noticed. “No doubt Ned accused you of leaving the work to your brother. Ned Bannock caused more trouble than Sadie’s father ever did. Don’t you know how jealous he was of you?”

Liz was all wound up and couldn’t stop. “Ned never had your horsemanship and couldn’t keep up with you. You were given a special gift. After you won your first buckle, why do you think he quit competing in rodeos so quickly? All he could do was undermine you, so you would feel guilty. He probably had a coronary when you married Reva Stevens, who looks like a movie star.”

The windshield wipers were going full force while she kept on talking. “I’ll bet he loved baiting you when you were divorced. Ned always did like to kick a man when he was already down. Well, I’d say he did a pretty fantastic job on you to make you feel like your grandfather is disappointed in you. But you would be wrong!