It Happened in L.A.: Ms Match / Shockingly Sensual / Playmates

It was one of the scariest things he’d ever done. Embarrassing as hell. There was nothing concrete he could point to as the cause or the reason. But it felt as real as it gets.

“I don’t know what to say.” Her gaze met his. “What I do know is that we’re from very different worlds. I don’t understand a lot about who you are. I admit it. I’ve probably assumed too much about you, and that’s not fair.”

“For instance?”

She shook her head.

“I can take it.”

After a moment when he thought she might tell him to forget it, she nodded once. “In my experience, people who are very attractive seem to live on a different planet. It’s earth, but it’s rarefied. I understand it, honestly.”

“Rarefied?”

She nodded, knowing she needed to find the right words. “We’re wired to admire beauty. It all goes back to the survival instinct and procreation, but that’s not the world I live in, either. I come from a family of exceptionally good-looking people and I’ve seen how things are easier for them. They got away with amazing things. Their choices were vast. And it gave them all an attitude of entitlement. Scratch the surface of any one of my darling brothers and sisters and you’ve pretty much reached the other side. There’s no there there.”

“Wow.” He exhaled heavily. “Okay,” he said. His gaze hadn’t wavered from her. “That’s not all, is it? There’s something that you don’t particularly want to say.”

He was right. Her theories were her own, but they’d been with her a long time, and dammit, he’d asked. “Mostly, I think what’s lacking is compassion. It’s not their fault. Compassion comes from pain. And while they’ve all had their ups and downs, not one of them has ever gone through hell and come out the other side, stronger for the experience.”

He wanted to tell her he’d been through hell plenty of times, but he hadn’t. She was right about having it easy. People had always seemed to want him to succeed. And for most of his life, that had been enough. More than enough. “I’m guilty of everything you said. I can see how you’d assume I wouldn’t be enough for you.”

She blinked at him and he was beginning to know that look. She was thinking about what he’d said, thinking deeply. “I’m not foolish enough to pretend that the lens I’ve looked through isn’t muddy. I’m no paragon, myself. I spent years and years living with jealousy and bitterness. It was hard being the ugly one.”

“You’re not—”

She stopped him. “We’re being honest here, remember?”

“Okay. I swear. I’m being honest. You don’t look like the rest of your family. But you’re not ugly.”

“Paul.”

“Hey. I don’t want to get sidetracked here, but dammit, I’m not lying to you. I’m the first to admit I’m shallow as hell, but even I can see how lovely your eyes are. How when you smile, your whole face lights up. I find you…arresting. But let’s get back to me while I’m still brave enough to ask. Do you believe I’m destined to be this shallow forever? Can you even consider that there might be more to me than you think there is?”

She didn’t answer, only this time, he didn’t see her telltale blinks. He felt a hopelessness that filled him with dread. This was ridiculous. He tried to get up, but her hand caught his and she held him steady.

“I think you can be anything you set your mind to.”

He looked at her again, trying to see beyond the words. Her eyes glistened, and her mouth quivered just a bit. This was new. Gwen wasn’t sentimental and she wasn’t shy about telling it like it was, which left him…

Confused.

“You’re not shallow,” she said. “I’m the one who misjudged. I never expected—”

He shook his head. “You think you’re surprised.”

He got a smile for that.

“So you think there’s a chance. That we could be friends, I mean.”

“There’s a chance.”

He sat back on the couch, slouching awkwardly but not wanting to move away from her. “I don’t have an act two, you know. No clue what to do next.”

“Have you considered writing about it?”

“Me? God no.”

Her laughter changed the air. “No writing, then. How about just doing what you’re doing?”

“And what would that be, exactly?”

“Reading articles that have no opinion on Britney Spears. Coming to trivia night. I do believe there might be a space for you on our softball team, if you can find the time.”

He squeezed her hand. “So that’s a no about the book club, right?”

“Tell you what. I’ll get you a copy of the book we’re reading this month. After you’ve finished it, you let me know if you’re interested in joining us.”

“Is it about Britney Spears?” he asked.

“Amusing,” she said archly. “Seriously. That was amusing.”

“Yeah, yeah. But really. Is it fiction?”

“It is,” she said.

“Is it thick?”

“Very.”

He sighed. “Bring it on. I can’t promise anything, but what the hell.”

“No expectations. Some of my closest friends don’t share my taste in books.”

He narrowed his eyes, letting her know this was important. “Are you into Japanese horror?”

“God, yes. I loved Ju-on. Hated the American version.”

That made him sit up straight. “Yes. American directors don’t know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to that moody stuff. And I don’t consider torture porn to be horror.”

She lifted her hand for a high five, which he obliged, but it made him laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing. You just keep on surprising me is all.”

“Sweetie, I don’t hold a candle to you in the surprise department. You pretty much took my breath away tonight.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded as she stood, pulling him up with her. “Yes. It’s late. And I have to be bright and perky tomorrow morning.”

“Interviewing some new hot scientist?”

“Yup.” She led him to the front door. “He’s got mad physics skills.”

“But can he kick your ass at baseball trivia?”

“That’s the first question of the interview.”

He laughed.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just…” She stepped up to him to kiss his cheek.

He took hold of her shoulders and turned. Her lips met his. Just like back in that hotel. Only, he wasn’t drunk or hungover.

She pulled away, but only for a second. When she kissed him back, it was the real deal, even if he didn’t understand why.

Pushing aside all the questions and doubts, he decided to enjoy the moment. The softness of her lips. The way she gasped when he tasted her tongue.

The night had been filled with wonders, but this one topped them all.

He wanted Gwen. Not just to be his friend, but to…Oh, shit.

IN A DAZE Gwen wandered through the living room, picking up the mugs on the coffee table. Tonight had shocked her in so many ways, it was hard to know where to begin. No, that was a lie. The kiss had taken over her brain. The kiss had evidently startled him as much as it had her. When she’d pulled back, his eyes had been wide-open, staring at her.

For God’s sake, she’d kissed him back. With enthusiasm. It had felt amazing and sexy and his hands on her shoulders had made her shiver right to her toes. In fact, she wouldn’t have objected if the kiss had gone on a lot longer.

She found herself in the kitchen, several feet away from the sink. She didn’t remember walking in there. Setting her mind to it, she put the mugs in the dishwasher, turned off the lights and headed for her bedroom.

Still in something of a trance, she got ready for bed, rehashing things he’d said to her tonight. His determination to be in her life was as troubling as it was flattering. It had all been much simpler when he’d been handsome but dumb.

There were a number of things that attracted her to a man, and one main ingredient was depth. She’d had enough of shallow in her early years. Now she looked for kindness, intelligence, humor and compassion. She’d noticed Paul’s kindness at the dance, and even his humor, but she’d written him off on the other musthaves. It had never occurred to her that he could be intelligent, despite his degree and his business acumen. Perhaps if he hadn’t been seeing Autumn—

Autumn. Did she know what Paul was up to? That didn’t seem likely. Autumn would find this whole business unbelievable and distasteful. Not that Gwen gave a particular damn, but it just brought home the utter weirdness of the situation. Paul Bennet wanted to be in her book club? If that wasn’t some cosmic joke…

Paul Bennet had kissed her. On purpose. Her. And she’d kissed him back.

She concentrated on changing into her sleep shirt, then managed to wash her face without zoning out. However, the minute she slipped between the sheets, it was all Paul.

Ridiculously, there was the tiniest temptation to let her thoughts wander to the unlikeliest road she could imagine. That of Paul and her as a couple.

It made her laugh, it was so silly, but she was alone and it was dark, and would she consider being his partner? Sharing her life with him?

No. It couldn’t happen. Sure, he could come to trivia and softball games, and even in bizarro world, her book club. She could see all of that. What she couldn’t see was her in his universe. Where it was all Autumns and they were all shallow and there were cocktail parties where people talked about movie stars as if they were somehow meaningful. Where beauty was the main commodity, the strange quirk of genetics and makeup that worked magic on a camera.

There was nothing about Paul’s world that held any interest for her. Paul might be trying to expand his horizons, but she knew he was the exception. Which made his quest all the more strange.

He would get no points for this trip outside the fold. No one would admire him for wanting more. To that crowd, the only more that mattered was monetary. Bigger cars, flashier clothes. Excess made art form.

While she would admit that she was attracted, okay, strongly attracted, to Paul, it was a limited attraction. Not her idea of a life partner. In fact, she’d been narrowing that ideal for a long time. One critical issue was that she and her unknown perfect mate would have common values. She wasn’t all that particular about religion or political affiliation per se, yet it mattered a lot that her eventual guy saw the world through a familiar lens. In all the successful relationships she’d been privy to, the couples had been more alike than opposites.

She couldn’t imagine Paul and her finding that. She supposed some people might base an entire relationship on the love of sports, but that wasn’t enough for her. And it wouldn’t be enough for him.

Ah, who cared. Not a chance either of them wanted to be together like that. And only a tiny chance that they both wanted to pursue a more sexual relationship.

The mere thought of it made her blush. But after that kiss, she couldn’t discard the whole notion, could she?

Would it be so horrible to make love to Paul?

She turned over, sticking her left hand under her pillow, knowing she hadn’t asked the right question. The one that really mattered.

Would she be too self-conscious to make love to Paul?

God, she wanted it not to matter. She hated shallowness so much, and yet she couldn’t deny that him being so much better-looking had an impact.

All these years, when she’d said looks didn’t matter, had she been telling the truth?

She sighed, wishing none of this had happened. Wishing Autumn had never sent him to take her to the party. Wishing…

Wishing she could stop thinking, and just kiss him one more time.

GWEN WAITED outside the little theater, her hands in her sweater pockets, wondering if this evening was a good idea. Paul would be there any minute, and she would prefer to have her game face on by then. If she could decide what her game was.

The Rialto was playing a double bill of Japanese horror. Ju-on and Ringu. The perfect safe meeting space for two potential friends.

Only, there was the whole after to deal with. It was always better if there were beverages and discussions following favorite films. That seemed safe, but Gwen knew that once the conversation wound down, Paul would walk her to her car. He just would. And that was the moment she was so troubled about.

In the three days since he’d been to her house, they’d spoken on the phone five times. The first, he’d asked her for the name and author of another book she’d mentioned. The second, he’d called about the softball team, and found out that he couldn’t play until next Wednesday. The third, he’d started with a question about the book, then admitted he just wanted to talk. That call had lasted one hour and twenty-two minutes.

Today he’d called twice. Once to ask her if she’d like to see the movies, and again to ask her if he should pick her up. She’d had that answer on the ready.

She enjoyed him on the phone. Startling, because she really wasn’t much of a phone person. Holly knew that. Their calls were brief and to the point. If either of them needed to really talk, they got together. It was great.

In fact, all of her friends knew about her phone habits. Only, Paul had made her change the rules. Being on the phone with him was easy. Not in the least simple, but easy.

Every time her phone rang, even at work, her heart sped. Whatever thoughts she’d had vanished and it was all she could do not to leap to answer the damn thing. The thing was, she wasn’t like this. Never had been. Even in the worst of her teen angst, she hadn’t been like the other girls who couldn’t seem to manage a single thought outside of their past, present or future boy-friends. Gwen hadn’t understood it then, and she sure as hell didn’t understand it now. It was weird. A little bit wonderful. But troubling, too.

“Hey, you look worried. Did you think I’d be late?”

She turned to look up at Paul and her smile came without a thought. So did the flutters plaguing her so often these days. “No, I was just thinking about stuff.”

“Dangerous occupation. It always gets me into trouble.”

“We’ve got just enough time to get popcorn and good seats.”

He glanced at his watch, some terribly expensive army-looking thing. “Half an hour.”

“I said good seats.” She took out two tickets from her pocket. “See? I knew you’d be here on time.”

“I was going to get those.”

“You may buy the popcorn, which I assure you will be more expensive. I love my popcorn.”

“A giant tub?”

“For me, yes. You may get what you like.”

He laughed. “A giant soda to go along?”

She handed the tickets over to the nice man at the door. “Nope. Medium, diet. With the popcorn, make sure they put the butter on halfway through, then again at the end. No skimping.”

He touched her back as he escorted her to the candy counter. Just a touch, something one friend would do with another friend, no biggie, and yet it was a biggie, it was giant because she reacted like…She reacted foolishly.

The popcorn saved her. Paul ordered, not even blinking at her request for diet soda. He got himself a large popcorn, no butter. Fool. He clearly didn’t understand movies the way she did.

Inside, the theater was already a quarter full, mostly with teenagers. A few older folks sat in the far corners, but she wanted dead center. So did everyone else, but they ended up with decent enough seats.

Once settled, purse and sweater were put aside, popcorn and napkins on her lap, cup in the holder. It was perfect and she sighed contentedly.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice showing much pleasure. “How many times have you seen these two?”

“Three and two, respectively. I only hope that the film stock is decent. This theater can be hit-and-miss.”

“I got them both on DVD, but I prefer seeing them here. They’re scarier.”

She nodded as she dug into the great bucket of buttery goodness. “I also love the coming attractions. It’s all good.”

“So is the book you gave me.”

“You still like it?”

“No. I like it more. It kept me up too late last night. And tomorrow, I’ve got a showing to go to, and I’m resenting it. I almost called to cancel, but it’s my company, my party. So the book will have to wait.”

“I understand. You should get an audiobook next time. Listen to it in traffic. You’ll get through it faster.”

“Good—” He stopped, when the lights dimmed. “Good,” he said again, but it was an entirely different sentence.

Gwen was terribly aware of him until fifteen minutes into Ju-on. By then, she was wrapped up in the story, anticipating the scary bits. She kept eating her popcorn, pausing just before something bad happened. That was the fun of multiple viewings—no danger of choking.

Then, about ten minutes later, Paul touched her hand. The underside. After a moment’s hesitation, he slipped his fingers between hers.

She hadn’t had anyone hold her hand in a movie in years. If anything, dates had put their arm around her to snuggle. This was infinitely sweeter. She felt like a teenager again—no, younger than that. There was an innocence to his move, a tiny step where nothing else would have worked.

Despite the gasps of fear that filled the theater, the ominous music, she looked at Paul to find him looking at her.

He smiled. Tossed some popcorn in his mouth, then turned back to the screen.

She wasn’t worried about the ending anymore. Not of the movie or of the night. He’d just told her she was safe.

And then with a jolt she realized that wasn’t true at all.

Chapter 10

GWEN CLOSED HER FRONT DOOR, dropped her purse and sweater on the table, then flopped onto her couch with a satisfied sigh. She couldn’t have asked for a better night.

They’d held hands for the rest of the movie and for all of the second. Her fingers had been squeezed during the scariest bits and her palm tickled once for no reason at all. They’d gone to a nearby coffee shop after, where he’d had a piece of chocolate cake, which, she pointed out, negated his low-cal popcorn. He’d been unimpressed with her logic as he’d devoured every bite.

If she hadn’t known better, she would have called it a date. But it wasn’t. For heaven’s sake, they were just beginning their friendship and neither had spoken of anything more. Friendships were good. Lovely. And the hand-holding was nothing more than…what? Maybe her definition of friendship might need some refinement.

But it was late and she was foolish. Time to get ready for bed. She didn’t hurry, though. She went into the kitchen to put her breakfast dishes into the dishwasher, her thoughts turning to the end of their night.

As she’d predicted, he’d walked her to her car, but just as she’d unlocked her door, he’d gotten a phone call from a client. Voilà. No kissing awkwardness. A perfect ending all the way around.

She looked at her hand, still marveling that she’d been so giddy over such a simple thing. What was happening to her? Her maturity and good sense were going straight down the tubes, and she didn’t mind in the least.

Okay, so maybe it hadn’t been the absolute perfect ending to their evening. He could have thrown the phone into the bushes, pulled her into his arms and kissed her desperately, swearing his undying—

Uh, wait. That’s not at all what she’d wanted. Dramatic, yes, but it would have freaked her out so badly, she’d have run for the hills.

She didn’t want him that way. Not in real life. So she had fantasies. So she wasn’t immune to the romantic mythos. Yes, even levelheaded women who knew better could still dream about being in a fairy tale, right? That didn’t automatically knock off IQ points. It was just part of her girl DNA.

With that settled, she finished cleaning up the kitchen. It was past her bedtime and she didn’t do well on less than seven hours. She wished someone would invent a way to get a washed face and clean teeth without actually having to wash or brush. A knock on the door caught her just before her bedroom.

It was past midnight. Who could be knocking at this hour, unless it was Holly? Gwen ran to the door and opened it.

It wasn’t Holly.

“Good, you weren’t in bed yet. I’ve been standing out here for ten minutes worrying I’d wake you.”

“Paul.”

He gave her a wobbly smile. “Never mind. I’ll go.”

She grabbed his arm. “No, don’t be silly. I was just surprised, that’s all. Come on in.”

He followed her, stopping in the foyer. “The thing is, I didn’t really say good-night.”

“It’s okay. It was business. Something that clearly had to be taken care of.”

“Yeah, it did. But you left so suddenly. I wanted to tell you that I had a really great time.”

“Me, too—”

He stepped close, took her arm. “That’s not what I wanted to say. I mean, I had a great time, but I came here because I couldn’t just let it go.”

“Let what go? Did I do something wrong?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong except I didn’t want you to go. I wanted to kiss you good-night.”

Her eyes had locked on to his, mesmerized by the look of hunger there. It was the look she’d imagined in the dark of night, under the covers. Not something she ever expected to actually see. It felt…wrong. Heat filled her cheeks and she broke free from his grasp.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I thought…”

“It’s fine. I just wonder if it’s such a good idea to, you know—”

“No, no. I get it.” Paul took a step back, but he looked hurt. “My mistake.”

Insecurities she hadn’t felt for years stormed inside her. Could it be possible for them to be lovers? Everything in her experience said no, but just looking at him made her want so badly to be wrong. It didn’t happen this way. Beautiful women with unattractive men? A staple of TV sitcoms. Beautiful men with women like her? Not unless the women magically turned to swans. That wasn’t going to happen to her. Ever. But, oh, God, the way he looked at her.

He still stood frozen, stealing glances that only made him seem less sure. “What do you want?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know.”

“That kiss the other night. It didn’t feel like you hated it.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. “You know I didn’t.”

“Then what? If you want me to leave, I’m gone.” He closed the distance between them, and lifted her face to his. “But if you want me to stay…”

“I don’t understand this.”

“Don’t try,” he whispered as he stole her breath with a gentle kiss. Then his hands went to her waist, pulling her tight. The kiss changed, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

Gwen’s body reacted as if he’d awakened her from a deep sleep. She felt everything so sharply. His chest pressing her breasts, his stomach and thighs against her and most especially the hardening length of his cock.

What was she doing, kissing him back? Sucking on his thrusting tongue, letting herself moan with awakening pleasure? This was wrong in every way. She was smarter than this. Paul was not hers, not for her, not remotely the kind of man who should make her moan outside of a dream.

She pushed against his chest but it was clear she didn’t mean it. His coming here, his wanting her had caught her off guard, that’s all. It had been forever since someone had been so eager, so determined.

His mouth widened, his tongue probed then withdrew and it was as if they were dancing again, both knowing the steps as if they’d practiced a hundred times. His low moans matched hers in spirit if not in tone, and she found her hips thrusting in that same swaying rhythm.

He drew back, breaking contact, only to stare at her, his eyes dark in the muted light. He took her hands, put them around his neck, and he kissed her again.

Another shock ran through her as it hit her who she was kissing, but just as quickly, her brain turned off, at least the thinking parts. The feeling parts wanted all the attention. More of his hands rubbing her back, more of the taste of him, peppermint slightly on his tongue. She remembered his scent from the hotel bed and it sent urgent messages that made her nipples harden and her knees grow weak.