Mail Order Mommy

He tugged off his cap and raked a hand through his hair. What was he going to do?

The answer was both obvious and gut-wrenching.

He looked to the pale blue sky. Lord, are You forcing me into this?

He wasn’t ready to spend any time with a woman who reminded him too much of his late wife. It sure didn’t help that the children adored her, in spite of the fact that she’d lost track of Sadie in the fire last month that burned down the schoolhouse. Amanda’s inattention had nearly caused his daughter’s death. No, he was not ready to face Amanda Porter, but he didn’t have much choice. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and grasped the knob.

Lord, help me.

He would need it.

* * *

Amanda didn’t need any more proof that Garrett Decker felt nothing for her. At the mere sight of her, he ran.

She touched a hand to her hair. It seemed perfectly in place. She moved closer to the door, where a small mirror hung on the wall. No stray curl stuck out at an odd angle. No crumbs or irksome blemishes dotted her face. Her dress was the same modest plum gown he’d seen countless times. It had been recently laundered and pressed. In every respect she looked the same as always.

Yet he found her presence distasteful ever since the schoolhouse fire. Pearl assured her time and again that she’d explained to Garrett what had happened that day, how Amanda had struggled to keep the children together. They’d been so frightened when she hurried them out of the schoolhouse and marched them up the hill away from the blaze. She’d been so busy with the little ones entrusted to her care that she hadn’t noticed Sadie was missing. How had she missed that?

She swayed and put a hand against the wall to steady herself.

On that terrible day, she had nearly lost her dearest friend and the little girl she loved. From that moment forward, Garrett had stopped talking to her. He no longer asked her to watch the children. Fiona claimed that role.

Amanda glanced toward the staircase. What had happened between Garrett and Fiona? Instead of the proposal she had expected, Fiona had loudly refused to be hired. Why would Garrett need to hire a woman? Not for the sawmill. Pearl’s laughter had made that clear. Maybe Roland needed help at the store and had sent Garrett on the errand. Then why not offer the position to Amanda? Pearl knew how badly she needed work. Moreover, she had worked at the store once last summer. Fiona had not. Did Garrett mistrust her so much that he wouldn’t even recommend her for a job at the mercantile?

Amanda nibbled her lip.

Pearl joined her. “What did Garrett say?”

“Nothing. He left.”

“That’s curious.”

“Does Roland need help at the store?”

“Not that I know of. Why would you ask?”

“Because Fiona refused whatever job Garrett offered her. You heard her.”

The front door burst open. Amanda leaped back at the cold rush of air. Garrett paused in the doorway, looking alternately at her and Pearl.

“Come in or leave,” Pearl scolded, “but don’t stand there with the door open. Mrs. Calloway will wring your neck for letting out the warmth.”

Garrett stepped inside, closed the door and removed his cap. His ruggedly handsome face glowed red, though Amanda couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or the cold.

“I’m sorry, Miss Pearl.” He turned the cap around and around in his hands.

Amanda stepped back, ready to bolt for her room, but Pearl caught her arm and would not let her retreat.

“Did you wish to speak with someone?” Pearl asked. “Fiona, perhaps?”

He shook his head, gaze averted, and cleared his throat. “I wondered...” Again he cleared his throat.

“What did you wonder?” Pearl prompted.

He peeked at Amanda before lowering his gaze again. “Might I speak with Miss Porter?” He crushed the cap in his hands.

“Of course. Amanda would be glad to speak with you. Why don’t you two go into the parlor?” Pearl pushed her toward the parlor door.

Amanda’s heart pounded. Garrett wanted to speak to her? And he was having difficulty speaking? Why? He shouldn’t be nervous about offering her employment. Unless his return had nothing to do with that. Maybe he was going to tell Amanda never to see his children again. Her throat constricted.

She looked back at Pearl, who tipped her head, encouraging her to go into the parlor. Amanda couldn’t seem to move.

She finally found her voice, squeaky though it was. “I’m sure it’s all right with Garrett if you join us.”

Pearl waved off that idea. “I have to get to school.”

“Me, too,” Amanda squeaked. “The little ones will need help with their coats and boots. Then I’m supposed to read to them.”

The school operated out of the building that served as a church on Sundays, until a new schoolhouse could be built.

“I’ll be fine until you arrive.” Pearl turned to Garrett, who was still just inside the front door. “I wondered if you might build us something for Christmas.”

He hesitated, clearly wary. “What?”

“We can talk after you get done with work, or you can ask your brother. Roland knows exactly what I have in mind.”

“I, uh, I suppose I could, as long as it’s not too difficult. It’s only three weeks until Christmas Eve.”

Pearl’s mischievous smile meant she had something up her sleeve. “Oh, it’s nothing too terribly fancy. Besides, you’ll have help, and I know just the person.” She then glided off.

Amanda didn’t want to be alone with Garrett in the parlor. Well, that wasn’t quite true. She wanted to be alone with him, but only if he was able to look at her and speak with her. Since he’d gone silent again, that didn’t appear likely. Nevertheless, the parlor was more private than the front hall. She entered and sat down in her favorite chair, a lovely stuffed one with dainty legs and a flowered tapestry seat. Judging from the toppled pillow, Fiona had chosen the sofa. Amanda would not make that mistake.

Garrett followed her in but didn’t sit. He stood across the room, staring out the window. Amanda waited for what seemed like ten minutes, but he said nothing. At last she could stand it no longer.

“I wonder what that was about,” she mused. “Pearl didn’t say anything to me about building something for Christmas.”

“She didn’t?” He turned toward her, brow furrowed.

In spite of his burly build and ruddy cheeks, Garrett had an endearing boyish quality that tugged at her heart. The poor man had suffered terribly, losing his wife in a tragic accident, yet he endured, his faith unshakable. That more than anything terrified Amanda. Garrett Decker was a man of God. Could he see the shame hidden deep inside her?

She forced a smile. “She didn’t. I have no idea what she wants you to build.”

He scowled and turned back to the window.

Amanda waited for him to say something. The silence was beginning to unnerve her. After ignoring her the last few weeks, he certainly wasn’t going to ask for her hand. If only he realized how much his children needed a mother, but apparently even Sadie’s letter hadn’t changed his mind. If he offered Amanda a marriage of convenience, she would accept, but that appeared unlikely.

He sat in the chair opposite her on the other side of the room and continued to twirl his cap between his hands. Even now he said nothing. Her head spun with possibilities. As seconds dragged into minutes, she could no longer bear the suspense.

“You wanted to speak with me?” she prompted.

He nodded and finally looked up, a pained expression on his face. “I, uh, haven’t been fair to you lately.”

He wanted to apologize?

She gathered her wits. “A lot happened.” The fire.

“Don’t make excuses for me.” He looked up, but not at her. “You see, I’m still grieving my late wife.”

Amanda nodded and fixed her gaze on her clasped hands, the knuckles white. She flexed her fingers, but it didn’t relieve the tension.

He cleared his throat. “But that’s not why I’m here. The fact is that circumstances have put me in a difficult situation.” His gaze wandered to the samplers on the wall. “I—that is, we—plan to move to a house. The children and I.”

“I see.” Though she didn’t. Why did this involve her, unless he was going to propose a marriage of convenience?

“Roland and I have managed the cooking and cleaning since, well...you know.”

She drew in a sharp breath and captured his attention. Heat flooded her face. Was he going to ask the impossible? Her mouth grew dry, and she wished for one swallow of that unpalatable tea.

He looked down at his cap again. “Yes, well, once my brother marries, he’ll be, uh, preoccupied. So I thought it best that the children and I move. I’ll ask for a house when I accept the position as chief shipwright for the schooner Mr. Stockton is having built.”

“Congratulations.”

He nodded. “It’s not all settled yet. I have to meet Mr. Stockton in a few minutes. So that’s why I, uh...”

Amanda waited.

His lips began to form words before backing off. He twirled the cap again and heaved a tortured sigh. “There’s no way around it. I—that is, we—will need a housekeeper.”

A housekeeper! No wonder Fiona had stormed out of the parlor.

Though disappointed, Amanda couldn’t afford to pick and choose. She needed an income. Garrett was offering a position, doubtless one that paid enough for her to afford a room. Moreover, keeping house meant she could take care of Sadie and Isaac. It wasn’t marriage, but it would keep her in Singapore.

“Do the children know they will be moving?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I didn’t want to tell them until everything is set. I need to speak to Mr. Stockton in—” he glanced at the clock “—in ten minutes. I’d be much obliged if you would consider the position. I will pay you, of course.”

God did answer prayer, though certainly not in the way Amanda had hoped. She needed a paying job, and Garrett was offering just that.

“I accept.”

“You do?”

Was that hope she saw in his eyes?

“We should go over the details. For instance, when would you expect me to work? I can’t live at the house, naturally.” Her cheeks must be as red as a summer sunset.

“Of course not.” His expression confirmed that had never been his intent. “I assume you’d stay here and, uh, keep house and whatnot during the day.”

“I help out at the school.”

“That’s right. I forgot.” He scrubbed his auburn locks. “On weekdays, you can clean after the school day ends, but I’ll need you every day to take care of my son and daughter. Make supper.”

Make supper? Amanda gulped. She had no idea how to cook. Maybe Mrs. Calloway or Pearl could give her lessons before she began. “When would you need me to start?”

“Monday, if all goes as planned.”

That gave her the weekend to learn how to cook. “So soon?”

His mouth ticked. “I want to move out early to give Pearl time to set up the upstairs lodging the way she prefers.”

“That’s very considerate.” That took away her idea of asking Pearl to teach her to cook. She’d have to ask Mrs. Calloway. “You will have the house ready by then?”

“We’ll move the furniture this weekend. I was hoping you could help with the cleaning.”

“Now?”

“Next week would be fine.” Finally, his gaze landed on her, filled with such gratitude that her heart nearly stopped. “Thank you. This is a big help.”

It wasn’t marriage or even courting, but it would give her more time with Sadie and Isaac. Perhaps time would change their father’s mind.

Amanda stood. “I love spending time with Sadie and Isaac.”

This time Garrett gazed right into her eyes.

Her breath caught. Did she see a flicker of affection or was it simply gratitude?

He backed away and nodded curtly. “Thank you, again, Miss Porter. I must be on my way to the hotel for my meeting.”

“I hope it goes as you anticipate.”

He shoved the cap on his head. “I’m sure it will.”

They walked to the front door, where she saw him out. This time the frosty morning air didn’t bother her. She would not have to say farewell to Isaac and Sadie, after all. She would see them each and every day. Who knew where this might lead? Perhaps straight to Garrett Decker’s heart.

Garrett paused on the porch to don his cap. “I see Mr. Elder’s at the mercantile. Probably heard that the mail came in.”

The mail!

Oh, no. Her letter begging a position with the Chatsworths was on its way to New York, and she could do nothing to stop it.

Chapter Two

Garrett surveyed the Cherry Street house the following morning. It didn’t take long to see why Stockton had readily agreed to include use of the house as part of Garrett’s compensation for taking the lead building the new ship. His excitement over putting to use skills he’d honed years ago in a Chicago shipyard waned in light of all the work that needed to be done on the house.

“The roof leaks in at least four places.” He pointed each one out to his brother. “Right next to the kitchen stove and over the table. Look how warped the tabletop is.”

“If anyone can fix it, you can.”

“I wanted to move in today.”

Roland shrugged. “You don’t need to move for a couple weeks. Why not fix what needs fixing first? It’s a lot warmer today. We could tackle the roof.”

“You?” Garrett had a tough time imagining his brother picking up a hammer, much less using it. “You couldn’t fix a crooked picture.”

He moved into the first bedroom before his brother could reply. Naturally, Roland followed.

“Another leak, over the bed,” Garrett pointed out.

“We’ll get the men from the mill to lend a hand and have it fixed by the end of the day.”

Roland was right, but Garrett hated to admit that he’d made this deal without checking out the house first. Thankfully, Roland didn’t point out that error.

“What about that project that Pearl wanted me to do?” Garrett prodded.

Roland’s future wife wanted a stable built for a nativity play she had planned for the children.

“That can wait until you move in.” Roland grinned. “Or you could stay put for another week.”

Garrett couldn’t. “I hired Miss Porter starting Monday.”

“Don’t you mean Amanda?”

Garrett scowled. “This is a business arrangement, not personal. ‘Miss Porter’ will do.”

If anything, Roland’s grin grew wider. “Good decision. She loves Sadie and Isaac and will be perfect for the job.”

Garrett bristled, the memory of nearly losing Sadie still raw. “There wasn’t anyone else.”

“Then God made sure it worked out for Amanda to get the job.”

Garrett still couldn’t wrap his mind around Roland’s newfound faith. “Maybe God didn’t have anything to do with it. Maybe it was just circumstances.”

“Maybe.” Roland’s grin said otherwise. “Either way, it ended up the best way possible.”

Garrett didn’t quite see it that way. “How can I can trust her?”

“She’s as trustworthy as Pearl.”

They’d had this argument before, but Garrett couldn’t forget what happened during the fire. “Thanks to her inattention, Sadie almost died.”

“She didn’t die.” Roland’s jaw set. “And you’re forgetting that Amanda led eleven children to safety, including Isaac.”

Garrett knew he was being unfair. After all, Pearl was the schoolteacher in charge of the children. Amanda had volunteered to help. He shouldn’t hold her to a higher standard, but Sadie’s brush with death had shaken him. It hadn’t been that long since his wife, Eva, died. Less than two years. He couldn’t bear losing anyone else.

Since this argument was leading nowhere, he put an end to the inspection. “Guess I’ll head back to the mill and round up some help.”

“Can you wait a minute? Pearl’s on her way here.”

“Why?” Garrett asked warily.

“You’ll need a woman’s opinion on what needs to be done to get the place ready.”

“I don’t need anyone else’s opinion. A woman will want to change everything.” Garrett thought back to his late wife’s demands. Nothing was ever good enough for Eva. Garrett had bought her everything he could afford, but it was never enough.

Roland walked back into the main room, which combined the kitchen and sitting area with a table for meals, study and anything else the children needed to do.

“The sideboard can go there, and the sofa would fit in that corner.” Roland pointed to various spots as he listed off the pieces of furniture that Garrett had put into storage after Eva’s death. “The china cabinet would fit in the corner.”

“Stop!” Garrett couldn’t bear another word. “None of that furniture is coming here. You use it, and I’ll haul over the things we’re using now.”

“Not a chance. Pearl would never stand for it.”

“Why? Eva’s things are a lot nicer than what we’re using now.”

“That doesn’t matter to someone like Pearl.”

That’s what bothered Garrett about Amanda. Pearl might not care about worldly things, but Amanda obviously did. Her gowns were stunning. Her hair was always fixed just so. Nothing was ever out of place. She was the very picture of the delicate female. Too much like Eva. No, his late wife’s furniture would never do.

“I can’t look at that furniture each day,” Garrett insisted.

“Pearl feels the children need to be around their mother’s things, that they won’t get past her death until they can see and touch what’s left behind. I happen to agree.”

“Stop it. First Miss Porter and now this. Stop pushing me.”

“It’ll be two years come April. You need to let go.”

“Don’t tell me what to do until you’re in my shoes.” Garrett didn’t point out that Pearl had nearly died rescuing Sadie in last month’s fire.

Judging from Roland’s expression, he didn’t need to.

* * *

“First help me out,” Pearl told Amanda as she donned her cloak in the front hallway of the boardinghouse, “and then I’ll show you how to cook some basic things, like eggs and biscuits.”

“That won’t help me for supper. He said I’d need to cook supper.”

“All right, then I’ll teach you how to make hash and stew and that sort of thing.”

“But...”

Amanda had hoped to get started early. Mrs. Calloway had approved, as long as whatever they made could be served to the boardinghouse guests. Given Amanda’s current lack of knowledge, the guests were going to suffer. The very thought of cooking something terrified her. Aside from boiling water and collecting serving platters, she steered clear of the big cookstove.

Pearl held out Amanda’s coat. “It will only take a few minutes.”

“Then you will teach me to cook?”

Pearl nodded.

Amanda conceded defeat and threw on her coat. The hat took longer, since the pins refused to hold it in the proper place. Every time she thought she had it just right, she’d take a step, and the hat would slide to the side.

“You don’t need to look perfect,” Pearl complained. “At this rate we will never get there. Here.” Pearl tied the ribbons under Amanda’s chin.

“You know I hate to have anything tied under my chin.” Amanda tugged on the ribbons, but Pearl had knotted them.

“If we don’t go now and get this taken care of, there won’t be any time left to cook.”

“Then we can forget this little errand that you refuse to divulge and go straight into cooking lessons.”

Pearl laughed. “You can’t wriggle out of this that easily.” She opened the front door. “Come along.”

Amanda gave up and followed her friend. Instead of heading to the store, Pearl took off in the opposite direction, toward the dunes. Amanda hurried and caught up.

“Where are you going?” Her words came out in gasps.

“It’s a surprise. Don’t you love surprises?”

“It depends. Some of your surprises didn’t turn out all that well. Like the excursions you proposed back at the orphanage.”

“They would have been highly educational if Miss Hornswoggle could have overlooked that one little problem at the cathedral.”

“The boys claimed we locked them in that room with all the robes, when they should never have gone in there in the first place. And you made me go tell Miss Hornswoggle, so she could fetch someone to unlock the door.”

Pearl shrugged. “She always forgave you anything. I would have had to clean the floors for two months.”

Amanda laughed at the memory. “She did have a soft spot for me.”

“And no wonder. You are the sweetest, prettiest girl on earth.”

Pearl’s words sent a shiver down Amanda’s spine. Hugh had said the very same thing, but he hadn’t meant it. “No surprises, please.”

Pearl laughed. “This isn’t bad. I promise. And I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Amanda wasn’t certain she believed her. “Then tell me where we’re going and what we’re going to do there.”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

Amanda sighed. She would have to guess. “Does it have something to do with that project you asked me to work on?”

“Perhaps. In a roundabout way.”

Amanda hated when Pearl acted like this. It meant she had come up with some grand idea that involved her. When Pearl had approached her about coming to Singapore, she’d held back all the details until Amanda agreed to consider it. By then Pearl had purchased the train ticket to Chicago for her. If Amanda hadn’t suffered such humiliation at Hugh’s hands, she might have asked more questions, but she was eager to leave. Only after they were settled on the train, carpetbags safely stowed, had Pearl shown her the advertisement. At first Amanda had rejected the idea of marrying a stranger. The memory of Hugh’s cruel treatment of her still stung. She couldn’t imagine allowing another man to touch her, but as the train ride wore on she began to realize the advantages. A man advertising for a wife would not expect a great deal. He wouldn’t care about her past. He must be desperate and could not possibly reject her.

How wrong she’d been.

Again she had to hurry her step to catch up to Pearl, who was heading in the wrong direction. “If we’re working on that project, why aren’t we going to the school or the store?”

“Oh, I doubt you’ll work on it at either place, at least not until just before Christmas.” Pearl stopped in front of a weathered house that could use a good whitewashing. Even the shake shingles looked a bit threadbare. “Here we are.”

“At a stranger’s house? Who lives here?”

Pearl smiled coyly. “Let’s find out.”

Amanda gasped. “You’re going to barge in on strangers?”

Pearl only laughed as the opened the door. “Come in with me.” She grasped Amanda’s hand. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Pearl dragged, and Amanda reluctantly followed, but the tug up the single step made her stumble. She looked down to catch her footing, and her hat slipped to one side. She frantically tried to straighten it before entering the house.

“Here we are,” Pearl called out as she tugged Amanda through the doorway.

It took a few seconds for Amanda’s eyes to adjust to the lower light. When they did, she found herself face-to-face with Garrett Decker.

* * *

Garrett should have known that Pearl would drag her friend along. Since the day the ladies arrived on the Milwaukee, Pearl had been promoting Amanda. None of that matchmaking had been subtle, but for good measure Roland constantly pointed it out.

“Oh!” Amanda gasped, quickly straightening the hat that had slipped slightly to the side. “I didn’t know.” Pink suffused her cheeks, not from the cold. “I would never have intruded.”

“Nonsense,” Pearl said, her gaze sweeping around the room. “You’ll need furnishings, of course, but first a good scrubbing is in order.” She crossed to the kitchen stove and examined the firebox. “Full of ashes. No doubt one of the workers left it this way. No matter, a little elbow grease will take care of that. Speaking of grease, this stove needs to be scraped. It smells rancid. When was the last time someone lived here? You can’t bring children into this house until it’s clean from top to bottom.”