In Hope's Shadow

“Okay,” he said mildly. “I’d have thought you’d go to Seth. You’ve known him longer, and he’s going to be your brother-in-law.”

She made sure her tone was light. “It was impulse, that’s all.” Crazy to feel let down, disappointed because Ben didn’t jump immediately in on her side. “Don’t worry about it,” she added. “It was just that I had you on my mind after you called. If the impulse strikes again, I’ll call Seth. Family discount, right?”

“No.” Ben’s gaze held hers. “Call me, not Seth. Anytime. I mean that.”

Well. Eve had not a clue how to take this.

“You’re right. I probably am more sympathetic than Seth is. He’s good with kids but doesn’t have any of his own, and until Bailey had probably never given a thought to issues foster kids have.”

“And you have?”

“My ex was in foster care by the time I knew her.”

“A good one, I hope.”

“Her last one seemed like it. But sometimes I wondered—” He cut himself off, alarm flashing in those shadowed eyes. “Doesn’t matter,” he said after a minute.

Eve didn’t have any choice but to squelch her curiosity. Pretending she didn’t wish he’d finish that last thought, she said, “So you married your high school girlfriend?”

He seemed almost embarrassed to admit he had. They’d gone their separate ways after his first few months of college, but Eve had the impression that might not have been by his choice. He’d initially taken a job with the busier and more urban King County Sheriff’s Department, which surrounded Seattle, but had run into Nicole again at a party and immediately applied for a job locally.

“Ancient history,” he said then. “What about you? How’d you end up back in Stimson?”

“Oh, once I went to work for DSHS, I asked to be assigned here. I thought my parents needed to have me close. You know their history.”

He nodded. “Hope.”

Always Hope. “They never quit grieving. I think I...softened their grief.”

“I bet you did more than that,” he said gently. “I saw their faces when you walked into the living room the other night. You can’t tell me they don’t love you.”

“No, I’m sure they do. I was really lucky that they took me in. I needed them, and they needed me.”

She let him be satisfied by a simple truth that wasn’t the entire truth. Something way more complex almost always underlay simple, in her experience. But Eve was too ashamed of her unfulfilled longings to air them for him anyway.

No, she told him, she’d never come close to anything as serious as marriage. “Just hasn’t happened,” she said, going for unconcerned.

“What about Seth?”

Surprised by his blunt question, she hesitated. It was good he felt compelled to ask, wasn’t it? Surely the implication was that he wanted to pursue a relationship with her. And, despite her hesitations, she couldn’t remember being as attracted to a man as she was to Ben.

“I liked Seth,” she admitted. “I was more interested than he was, I suspect, but, honestly, we never got past a few casual dinners. A couple of movies.” She lifted one shoulder. “I didn’t take it very well when he dropped me, but I’ll bet you can guess why.”

“Hope. Bailey,” Ben corrected himself.

“Right. It took me a while to realize that what really hurt was being thrown over for her. I guess you can tell I have some unresolved jealousy going on here.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” The smile in his eyes reassured her. “I saw your mother when she came to see Seth every week. The hurt and hope on her face—” He grimaced. “Poor choice of words. You had to have been left wondering...”

When he didn’t finish, she did. “Whether I came close to filling the hole in their lives left by her disappearance? I didn’t wonder. I knew.”

“You’re sure it wasn’t in your head? Even if the two of you had really been sisters, they’d have mourned for her as much. The one doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the other.”

“I do know that.” She averted her face. This wasn’t something she usually shared with anyone. And...she’d been lucky. How many times had she had to remind herself? The Lawsons loved her. They’d given her so much. “I was nine when they adopted me. When your own parents don’t want you, and then you get passed around in foster care, it can’t help but make you doubt yourself. How...lovable you really are.” She hated seeing what might be only sympathy in his expression, but looked a lot like pity. “So my rational self knows you’re right. Doesn’t mean that somewhere deep inside I don’t still wonder.”

“I understand.”

His forehead had crinkled and a momentarily distant look in his eyes made her speculate whether he had better reason to understand than he’d said. There had to be a cause for those shadows she’d noticed.

Instinct told her not to ask, though. Feeling as if she’d bared enough of herself, too, she asked a question about how the detective division worked, and from that point on their conversation avoided anything too personal.

During the mostly quiet drive to her apartment house, Eve regretted saying as much as she had. She hadn’t much liked herself lately. She needed to put the jealousy and resentment and self-doubt behind herself. Telling a guy she liked how petty she could be—and on a first date—should be on her list of top ten don’ts.

Thinking about why she’d shot her big mouth off had to be the reason she felt tense. Although she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about the good-night kiss. The one that would be a peck if Ben had changed his mind about her.

He parked in a visitor’s slot at her complex and walked her up, waiting while she unlocked her door. She dropped her handbag on the small table just inside and turned to smile at him.

“I’m glad you suggested this. I had a good time, Ben. Thank you for dinner.”

“I enjoyed myself, too. I should have asked for your phone number six months ago.”

Eve blinked. “But...we hadn’t met.”

“I saw you on TV. The press conference. I...commented to Seth on what a beauty Bailey’s sister was. I kind of wonder now if the Thanksgiving and Christmas get-togethers weren’t engineered for us to meet.”

“That never occurred to me.” Was it possible he liked her looks better than Bailey’s? Because of his daughter, she’d assumed his ex-wife was another blue-eyed blonde, but...maybe not. Rachel could have taken after him.

“Better late than never,” he murmured, and stepped closer. He tipped her chin up with one big hand, bent, and brushed his lips over hers.

The soft contact was tantalizing enough to have her rising on tiptoe to try to sustain it.

“I’ve been thinking about this all evening,” he said huskily, and nipped her bottom lip before stroking it with his tongue.

Eve wrapped her arms around his neck and let her lips part, astonished by her instant, powerful response. His tongue slid over hers, teasing more than commanding. The lighter he kept the kiss, the more she wanted deeper, hotter.

He groaned suddenly and banded his arms around her to lift her. It was as if he’d abruptly lost patience. Her breasts were flattened against his broad chest and she felt his erection. The thrust of his tongue became rhythmic before he broke away to kiss her jaw, then her throat. Eve let her head fall back, savoring the warm tension of his mouth, the way he rocked his hips as if he couldn’t help himself.

But when he reached her collarbone, he went still before releasing a ragged exhalation and letting her slide down his body. She hadn’t realized he’d lifted her off her feet until they made contact again with the floor. It was lucky his arms stayed around her for a minute; her legs felt shaky, weak. Warmth pooled down low, shocking her with her readiness. She was rarely to never this enthusiastic.

Ben nuzzled her cheek. “I got carried away.”

“I think I did, too,” she said tremulously.

“Good.” He lifted his head to look down at her, his eyes narrowed, the blue deepened. His hair, a dull gold in the subdued light of the hall, was ruffled. By her fingers. “I want to see you again.”

Her teeth closed on her lip to steady it. That made a light flare in his eyes. “Yes,” she whispered.

“I’ll call you.” His voice was pure gravel.

“Okay.” Meek woman, and she didn’t even care.

He gave something like a laugh, said, “I don’t think I dare kiss you again,” and released her slowly enough to suggest the same reluctance she felt. He backed into the hall and ordered, “Lock behind me.”

“Yes, Detective.”

He grinned at her teasing, let his gaze run over her one more time and made another inarticulate sound that had her almost unbearably tempted to do the unthinkable—invite him in. After a first date.

But he kept backing up, and she found the strength to say good-night and close her door, turn the dead bolt and put on the chain.

After which she slumped against the door, let out a soft moan and began to smile.

* * *

BEN FROWNED AT his rearview mirror. A logging truck was careening along the highway behind him, closing the distance fast. The narrow, two-lane road wouldn’t allow an opportunity to pass for several more miles. The driver had better not crowd his bumper.

“So.” His passenger cleared his throat. “Looked like you and Eve hit it off.”

Ben flicked a glance at Seth. They were returning from an unproductive interview in the far corner of the county. Ben would have liked to lean on the guy a little harder, but knew they didn’t have enough justification yet.

“Bailey put you up to getting the scoop?” he asked.

“No, she’d have no reason not to go straight to the source herself.”

Eve, he meant.

“Do they talk?”

“They seem to be getting better at it.”

The warmth Ben had seen between the two women had seemed genuine, enough so he’d been a little surprised last night when Eve admitted to also feeling jealousy.

“Eve came across as welcoming at the press conference last year.”

“For her parents’ benefit.”

The remark made Ben feel conflicted. To give himself a moment, he checked the rearview mirror again. The truck loomed, still not slowing down. A sonorous horn sounded. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered.

“What?” Seth turned. “If he rides our tail, let’s ticket him.”

“Works for me.” Ben moved his shoulders in an effort to relax tension that had come out of nowhere. “Eve and I had dinner last night,” he said abruptly.

“Hey.” Seth sounded pleased. “Why didn’t you say something?”

The driver of the logging truck either surrendered to common sense or noticed that he was closing on a police car, because he slowed and dropped back.

“Seemed a little awkward when you were seeing her not that long ago.”

“I’ve told you before, there wasn’t much to it.” Seth seemed to brood for a minute. “I’d have probably quit calling her a lot sooner if not for Karen.”

Ben raised his eyebrows.

“Seemed like every damn week when she came in, she’d say something about Eve. I’d think, yeah, she was fun, why not?”

“Then why not?” Ben asked.

“No chemistry. It’s either there or it’s not.”

Ben grunted his agreement. He’d met beautiful women who left him cold.

“I kissed her good-night politely. Never got past that,” his partner added.

Ben relaxed a little more. Eve had implied as much, but he wasn’t sure she’d have told him if she’d slept with Seth. Good God! Imagine if she had, and then he’d fallen for her adoptive sister. Things were bad enough as it was.

His partner nodded acknowledgment, and, men being men, they let the subject drop, reverting instead to the current investigation of an unnecessarily brutal jewelry store holdup. Fortunately, no customers had been in the store. The owner had tried to flee out the back to get help, leaving his assistant behind the counter, but one of the two masked men had caught him and beaten the shit out of him while the other pepper-sprayed the assistant. They’d smashed glass cases and left with sackfuls of gold pieces set with diamonds and other precious stones.

The store was new this last year, in a strip mall of businesses that were higher end than usual for Stimson and environs. Some years back, the city had annexed a whole lot of land, but opposition from an organized group of homeowners had kept them from including an area that had since seen extensive development including half a dozen condominium complexes. Lots of new people and businesses meant a swell in crime and a headache for county law enforcement.

A jewelry store heist, though, that was unexpected. Jewelry could be hard to unload for anything close to value. The men had worn heavy boots, dirty jeans and hooded sweatshirts as well as black ski masks, which didn’t sound like members of a sophisticated ring. Even more telling, they had fled in a white van that belonged to a local electrical company. Reported stolen that morning, it was found abandoned half an hour after the heist beside an often deserted road leading to the county’s solid waste transfer station. Interestingly, the thieves had left the key in the ignition, which Ben thought was remarkably considerate.

It also happened that Ramstad Electrical Inc. had recently fired an employee named Ken Hardison who was reportedly disgruntled. He’d been assigned that particular van and could easily have copied or even kept a key.

Ken Hardison had been home when Ben and Seth came knocking on his door, but had proved to be surly and unwilling to say much more than, “If you found my fingerprints, it’s because I did the wiring on that store.”

“Is that why you think we’re here?” Seth had asked blandly.

“Why else would you be?” He’d glowered at them. “I never stole anything in my life.”

His girlfriend had left him after he’d apparently taken his rage at being fired out on her, following a couple of previous accusations of domestic violence. Sweet-natured, he was not.

Ben really wanted to talk to the girlfriend, but they had as yet failed to locate her. Who could blame her for going into hiding? He just hoped she hadn’t left the area.

Ben parked outside the sheriff’s department headquarters and was reaching for his door handle when he thought of something. “You ever deal with Eve on the job?”

Seth already had his door open, but didn’t get out. “Sure, that’s how we met. Don’t let her fool you. Some of her ‘kids’ are juvenile delinquents. I arrested one of them for setting a fire at the high school.”

“I remember that. Eve was his caseworker?”

“Yep. She was disappointed in him, but also way more understanding than I was.” He grinned. “We had some spirited debates. I was actually kind of surprised she agreed to go out with me after that. Why’d you ask?”

Ben waited until they were walking across the parking lot to answer. “She’s having some issues with another of her kids. Thinks he’s good as gold.”

“Sounds like Eve,” Seth said tolerantly. “She’s deeply committed to those kids.”

“She has the right background for her job.”

“I’d say so. Gives her a bias, too, though.”

“She admitted the arsonist was guilty, though?”

“Yeah, that wasn’t the issue. Her goal was to see him get help instead of time in lockup.”

“Did she win?”

Ben thought the other detective looked embarrassed.

“Pretty much. He did thirty days in juvie, then went to a group home for intensive counseling. When I asked, she told me Friday that he’s doing really well. So, hell, maybe she was right and I was wrong. Kid was only fourteen.”

Ben laughed. He had no trouble picturing Eve Lawson firing up in defense of a troubled boy. He’d seen a hint of that passion when she talked about how inadequate the foster care system was despite the best efforts of everyone who worked in it.

And, damn, he’d felt her passion when he kissed her. His intention had been to keep it light, but when his touch seemed to ignite her, he’d had a hell of a time making himself back off and leave.

The chemistry was there, no question. She intrigued him, too. That was one complicated woman. He’d thought about her all day and had every intention of calling her as he’d said.

He was still bothered by her ties to Seth, however. With Eve being Bailey’s sister, Ben had a feeling Seth wouldn’t like anyone hurting her.

Ben mulled over the idea of sounding her out on whether she had her eye out for an engagement ring or was open to something less serious. He could do it subtly. The idea of screwing up a solid partnership on the job because of a woman didn’t sit well with him.

Back when he was with Nicole...well, that would have been different.

Might still be, he admitted, if she needed him.

He let out a harsh breath. Nic wouldn’t turn to him if she was facing life imprisonment. Far as he could tell, what she mostly felt was resentment because she was stuck dealing with him where Rachel was concerned. He was clearly alone in feeling any lingering...he didn’t want to call it love. Okay, then: fondness. Memory of what they’d shared. Regret.

A year and a half had passed since their split, and all he seemed to awaken in her these days was annoyance. No more delusions, he told himself.

It was good he had Eve on his mind. Complications or not, he’d definitely call her tonight.

CHAPTER THREE

HAVING SPOTTED BEN alone at a booth at the back of the diner, Eve waved off the hostess and hurried to join him. He had seen her immediately, and before she reached him slid out of the booth to stand. He’d probably put in as long a day as she had, but that didn’t keep him from looking sexy. The badge and weapon he wore added an element of danger to the rangy, broad-shouldered physique and fallen-angel face. She wasn’t the only one who noticed. Several women diners had turned their heads to stare.

“Eve.” It was as if no one else was there. “You’re wet.”

She surveyed him. “You’re not.”

“It wasn’t raining when I got here.”

“Well, it is now,” she said unnecessarily. She shed her raincoat with his help and laid it and her handbag on the bench seat, sliding in after them.

Ben resumed his seat, facing her. It wasn’t a surprise that he’d requested the booth in the back corner; Seth had always done that, too. Nor that Ben preferred to have his back to the wall and be able to sweep the entire room with an assessing gaze. It must be a cop thing, and was fine by her. She didn’t want to see anyone, and would be just as happy at the moment if no one she knew spotted her.

“Thank you for suggesting this. What a day.”

“Bad?” he asked. Although she suspected he remained aware on some level of every single person in the café, his gaze stayed intent on her alone. Did he know how seductive that was?

“No, just long.” Distressing, too. She hadn’t liked what she’d read between the lines at her last home visit and would need to reassess that placement. Sad to say, things like that weren’t out of the ordinary. She didn’t need to talk about it. “I hope you didn’t mind eating so late,” Eve added. She’d had to call him this afternoon and ask to push dinner back a couple of hours or do it another night.

“I had plenty to do.” This smile was humorless. “Filling a couple of hours is never a problem.”

“No, I don’t suppose it is. Bailey said you and Seth are working on that jewelry store robbery.”

“We are,” he agreed.

“But no arrests?”

“Unfortunately.” He hesitated. “Between you and me, we’re pretty sure we know who did it. Backing up our suspicions isn’t going as well.”

“I’m amazed you got that far,” she admitted. “With them wearing ski masks—” Seeing the way his gaze flicked past her, she turned her head to see the waitress approaching. “Oh, dear. I should decide what I want to eat, shouldn’t I?”

Having eaten here a few hundred times before, Eve barely had to open the menu. The salads were tasteless, so she mentally shrugged and went with a teriyaki chicken sandwich and fries. Ben ordered a burger and fries.

Once they were alone again, he told her a little more about the investigation and the people they’d talked to, mentioning the domestic abuse police reports and the missing girlfriend.

“She has a kid, too, so I can’t blame her for doing her best to disappear. It’s more of a surprise that women stick so long with a creep like that, especially when they have a child to think about.”

“Has Child Protective Services been involved?” Eve asked. “After a couple police visits, they might have been called to evaluate the safety of the child. If so, she may have thought she had to keep them informed about where she is.”

Expression arrested, Ben said, “I didn’t think of that. Good idea.”

Pleased, she nonetheless wrinkled her nose. “CPS, now, that’s a job I wouldn’t want. If I’m afraid of something bad happening because I let a child slip through the cracks, it’s a thousand times worse for them. Too often, they’re investigating really horrific situations. You know how hard it is to be sure you’re making the right call. More often than not, kids will deny abuse.”

“Because whatever family they have feels safer than unknown alternatives.”

She nodded, then smiled her thanks when the waitress brought drinks. “I’m glad you suggested this,” she said. “I don’t think I’d have been up to fine dining tonight.” She should have detoured to the restroom to brush her hair and fix her makeup, but there wasn’t a lot of point since she’d have had to walk right past him first, and he’d have gotten a good look at the real end-of-day Eve.

“You ever think about having a family of your own?” he asked. “It would be tough, putting in these kind of hours.”

The question sounded casual, but surprised her anyway. And—okay—made her feel a little giddy even though this was only a second date. Was he really asking whether she intended to have children?

No—wait. He might just be concerned about his daughter, assuming they were to get any more involved. Even so, that suggested he was thinking ahead, which was a good sign.

“Eventually, I would like to have a family,” she said. “And you’re right. When—if—that happens, I’d want to cut back to part-time or find an alternative. I know what it’s like not to be important to your own parents.” Hating the suddenly raw sound to her voice, seeing a shift in his expression, she gave a small shrug. “I think your Rachel is lucky. She seems so confident, and you’re good with her.”

His jaw tightened. “The divorce hit her hard.”

“Probably, but once she’s sure she can still count on both you and her mother, she’ll be fine.”

He looked hard at her. Didn’t he believe her? No—probably all he wanted to know was whether she was being sincere or was only trying to allay his worries.

Eve was glad that their food arrived before she felt compelled to start babbling. After spreading the napkin on her lap, she was tempted to change the subject altogether, but reminded herself he was the one to start talking about family and children.

“Do you miss her?” she asked.

His startled gaze flew to hers. “Nicole?” Then his expression was shuttered. “You mean Rachel. Yeah, I do. Every day. And Nicole...” He frowned and didn’t finish.

Eve knew better than to say anything.

“She keeps making plans on my weekend, figuring it won’t matter to anyone if we do a switch.”

“But it does.” A lump rose in Eve’s throat. “To you and Rachel both.”

Again he studied her with that unnerving intensity. “Why do you include Rachel? It’s always something fun Nicole has come up with. Another kid’s birthday party—and, no, I know she has no control over when Rachel’s friends schedule their parties. A play, a chance to go roller-skating. I sound like a jerk if I say no.”

“In the short term, Rachel wants to do something fun. But she also needs consistency. To be able to count on her time with you. Consistency, rules and routine form a...a foundation for kids. They need their parents to say, ‘This is how things will go,’ and stick to it.” She made a face. “And here’s the woman with no parenting experience lecturing you. I’m sorry.”