Only Mine

“I couldn’t go through it without you. Adopting as a single parent isn’t easy. I researched international adoptions and applied with an agency that works exclusively in Kazakhstan.”

“I don’t even know where that is.”

“Kazakhstan is the ninth largest country in the world and the largest country that is completely landlocked.” Dakota shrugged. “I did research.”

“I can tell.”

“Russia is to the north, China to the southeast. The agency was very open and encouraging about the adoption. I filled out the paperwork and prepared to wait.”

Her mother’s mouth dropped open. “You’re getting a child.”

Dakota winced. “No. In late January, after I’d finished the paperwork and had the home and background checks, they called and said they had a little boy for me. But the next day they called back and said there’s been a mistake. He was going to another family. A couple.”

She drew in a breath to keep from crying. At some point the body should just run out of tears, but she had enough personal experience to know that didn’t happen.

“I’m not clear if it was an honest mistake or if they prefer couples and that’s why I didn’t get him. I’m still on the waiting list and the director of the agency swears it’s going to happen.”

Her mother leaned back in her chair. “I can’t believe you’ve been through all this on your own.”

“I couldn’t talk about it,” Dakota said quickly. “Not with anyone. At first I felt too frail to discuss it at all. Then I was afraid I’d jinx the adoption. It wasn’t you, Mom.”

“How could it be?” Denise asked. “I’m practically perfect. But still.”

For the second time, Dakota laughed. It felt good to find humor in life again. She’d had a few months where nothing had been happy or right.

Dakota touched her arm. “I’m dealing. Most days it’s okay. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed. Maybe if I’d been in a relationship, I wouldn’t have felt so unlovable.”

“You’re not unlovable. You’re beautiful and smart and fun to be with. Any man would be lucky to have you.”

“That’s what I tell myself. Apparently the entire gender is blind and stupid.”

“They are. You’ll find someone.”

“I’m not so sure. I can’t blame my lack of love life on the man shortage here. Not entirely. I didn’t date when I was away at college, either.” She shrugged. “I haven’t told anyone, Mom. I’ll talk to Nevada and Montana in a few days. If you wouldn’t mind, I thought you could tell my brothers after that.” Denise would explain what had happened in simple terms, and it would be a whole lot less embarrassing than coming from her.

Her mother nodded. Once her sisters knew, they would want to rally, but there wasn’t anything to do. Her body was different. Most of the time she was okay with that.

“You’re still on the list to get a baby from Kazakhstan?” her mother asked.

“Yes. Eventually I should get a call. I’m staying positive.”

“That’s important. I know you don’t love working on the reality show, but it’s a nice distraction.”

“It’s beyond crazy. What were they thinking? Mayor Marsha is terrified something bad is going to happen. You know how she loves the town.”

“We all do,” Denise said absently. She frowned slightly. “Just because you haven’t fallen in love yet doesn’t mean you’re not going to. Loving someone and being loved is a gift. Relax and it will happen.”

Dakota hoped she was right. She leaned toward her mother. “You got really lucky with dad. Maybe it’s a genetic thing, like being a good singer.”

Her mother grinned. “Meaning I should start dating again? Oh, please. I’m too old.”

“Hardly.”

“It’s an interesting idea, but not for today.” She rose and walked toward the refrigerator. “Now, what can I fix you to eat? A BLT? I think I have some frozen quiche, too.”

Dakota thought about pointing out that this wasn’t a problem that could be fixed by food. Not that her mother would listen. Denise was nothing, if not traditional.

“A BLT would be nice,” she said, knowing it wasn’t the sandwich that would make her feel better, but the love that went into it.

DAKOTA WAS MEETING her sisters at Jo’s Bar. She arrived a little early—mostly because her house had gotten too quiet, with only her thoughts to keep her company.

She crossed to the bar, prepared to order a lemondrop martini, only to realize that Finn Andersson was standing in the center of the room, looking more than a little confused.

Poor guy, she thought as she walked toward him. Jo’s Bar wasn’t the usual kind of hangout where a man went at the end of a difficult day.

Until very recently, most of the businesses in Fool’s Gold were owned by and catered to women. Including everyone’s favorite bar.

Jo was a pretty woman in her thirties. She’d moved to town a few years ago, bought the bar and converted it into the kind of place where women felt comfortable. The lighting was flattering, the bar stools had backs and hooks for hanging purses, and the big-screen TVs were tuned to Project Runway and pretty much anything on HGTV. Music always played. Tonight it was ‘80s rock.

The men had their place—it was a small room in back with a pool table. But without preparation, Jo’s Bar could be shocking to the average male.

“It’s okay,” Dakota said, coming up behind Finn and leading him to the bar. “You’ll get used to it.”

He shook his head as if trying to clear his vision. “Are those walls pink?”

“Mauve,” she told him. “A very flattering color.”

“It’s a bar.” He looked around. “I thought it was a bar.”

“We do things a little differently here in Fool’s Gold,” she told him. “This is a bar that mainly caters to women. Although men are always welcome. Come on. Have a seat. I’ll buy you a drink.”

“Is it going to have an umbrella in it?”

She laughed. “Jo doesn’t believe in putting umbrellas in drinks.”

“I guess that’s something.”

He followed her to the bar and took a seat. The padded stool seemed a bit small for his large frame, but he didn’t complain.

“This is the craziest place I’ve ever been,” he admitted, glancing at her.

“We’re unique. You heard about the man shortage, right?”

“The very piece of information that brought my brothers to town.”

“A lot of jobs traditionally held by men are held by women here. Nearly all the firefighters, most of the police, the police chief and, of course, the mayor.”

“Interesting.”

Jo walked over. “What’ll you have?”

The words were right, Dakota thought, telling herself not to blush, but Jo’s look of speculation promised many questions to come.

“I’m meeting my sisters,” Dakota said quickly. “I rescued Finn. It’s his first time in.”

“We generally serve your kind in the back,” Jo told him. “But because you’re with Dakota, you can stay here.”

Finn frowned. “You’re kidding, right?”

Jo grinned. “Not the brightest bulb. Too bad.” She turned to Dakota. “Your usual?”

“Please.”

Jo strolled away.

Finn glanced at Dakota. “She’s not going to serve me?”

“She’s bringing you a beer.”

“What if I don’t want a beer?”

“Do you?”

“Sure, but …” He shook his head again.

Dakota held in a laugh. “You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. Jo’s a sweetie. She just likes messing with people.”

“You mean men. She likes messing with men.”

“Everyone needs a hobby. So how are things? Have you convinced your brothers to leave?”

His expression tightened. “No. They’re determined. Solidarity in numbers and all that.”

“I’m sorry things aren’t working out, but I’m not surprised. You’re right about the solidarity thing. I’m a triplet and my sisters and I always protected each other.” She thought about the conversation she was going to have with them later. “We still do.”

“Identical triplets?”

“Uh-huh. It was fun when we were younger. Now it’s less thrilling to be mistaken for someone else. We try to look as different as possible.” She tilted her head. “Now that I think about it, looking different has gotten easier as we’ve gotten older and started developing our own style.” She glanced down at the blue sweater she’d pulled over jeans. “Assuming we have something close to style.”

Jo appeared with her lemondrop and a beer. She set down the drinks, winked at Finn, then walked away.

“I’m going to ignore her,” Finn muttered.

“Probably for the best.” Dakota took a sip of her drink. “What happens now? If your brothers are staying, are you going back to Alaska?”

“No. I talked to Geoff.” He took a drink of his beer. “I threatened him, he threatened me back.”

“And you’re taking a house together on the shore?”

“Not exactly. He said Sasha and Stephen were both going to be on the show, so I volunteered to work as his pilot. Flying contestants around, that sort of thing. I’m staying.”

Dakota told herself that having a tall, handsome, caring man in town was a meaningless bit of info. That any pleasure she took in sitting next to him, having a drink, was just her natural joy in spending time with a fellow human. She wasn’t impressed by the strong line of his jaw, the crinkles by his eyes when he smiled or the way he filled out his plaid shirt.

“You’re a pilot?”

He nodded absently. “I have a cargo company back in South Salmon.” He picked up his beer. “I’d rather knock both of them senseless and drag them back home,” he said. “But I’m doing my best to show restraint.”

“Think of this as a growing experience,” she said.

“I’d rather not.”

She smiled. “Poor you. Do you have a place to stay for a few weeks?” The words replayed in her mind. “I, ah, mean that if you want something other than a hotel room, I can recommend a couple of furnished rentals, or …” She swallowed and held on to her drink.

Finn turned to her, the stool shifting until he faced her. His dark eyes started on her face, dropped a little lower, before returning to lock with her gaze.

There was something intense about all that attention. Something that made her previous rocklike stomach give a little wiggle. Nothing overt. Just the slightest quivery shift.

“I have a place,” he said, his voice low and a little gravelly. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I, ah, do think your brothers could be on the show for a while.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He leaned toward her. “I have a life back in Alaska. The plane cargo business comes with a partner. Bill is going to explode when I tell him I have to stay.” He ran one hand through his dark hair. “It’s early spring. In about six weeks, we’ll start our busy season. I need to be back by then. They should have come to their senses by then, right?”

She wanted to give him hope, but knew it would be silly to lie. “I don’t know. It depends on how much they’re enjoying themselves. They could get voted off early.”

“And then head for L.A.” He grimaced. “That’s what Geoff said. At least here, I can keep my eye on them. Kids. Giant pain in the ass. You have any?”

“No.” She sipped her drink, searching for a shift in topic. “It’s just the three of you?”

“Yeah. Our parents were killed in a plane crash.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago. For years it was just us, you know? My brothers were great when they were young. There were a few scrapes, but they tried to be responsible. What the hell happened?”

She stared into his dark eyes. “Don’t take it personally. You’ve done a great job with them.”

“Obviously not.”

She touched his arm, feeling heat through the soft cotton of his shirt. Note to self, she thought. It had been a very long time since she’d had a man in her bed. She would have to do something to fix that.

He was staring at her. It took her a second to remember she’d been making a point.

“Um, this is just a blip in their lives. You see it as huge, but I don’t think it will be. They’re testing boundaries, testing themselves, but you’ll be here if they need help.” She carefully removed her hand, then waited for the sense of heat and strength to fade.

It didn’t.

“They won’t ask for help,” he grumbled, obviously not the least bit affected by her. Which was very annoying.

“Maybe they will. Besides, you should take pride in the fact that they’re comfortable enough with themselves and their lives to risk disappointing you. They’re not worried about losing your love and support.”

The glower from that morning returned. “You’re way too happy a person. You know that, right?”

She laughed. “I’m actually pretty normal on the happy scale. I think you’re jaded.”

“You got that right.” He drained his beer, then tossed a couple of bills on the bar. “Thanks for listening.”

“You’re welcome.”

He stood. “I guess I’ll see you at the show or on the set.”

“I’ll be there.”

Their eyes locked. For a second, she thought he might lean in and kiss her. Her mouth was more than ready to take him for a test drive. But he didn’t. Instead he gave her a slight smile and headed out.

She stared after him, her gaze dropping to his very nice butt and lingering. They knew how to grow ‘em in South Salmon, she thought, raising her glass toward the north. At least she thought it was north.

She told herself that finding Finn attractive was a good thing. As far as she could tell, she hadn’t had a single sexual thought since last fall, when her gynecologist had told her about her inability to have children. If she was stirring, so to speak, then it must mean she was healing. Healing was good.

Having Finn kiss her would have been better, but at this point, she would take whatever she could get.

CHAPTER THREE

“WHO’S THE GUY?” MONTANA asked as she walked up to Dakota. “He’s cute.”

“His brothers will probably be on the show and he’s not happy. He wants them to finish college.”

Montana raised her eyebrows. “Good looking and responsible. Is there a wife?”

“Not that I know of.”

Montana grinned. “Better and better.”

Jo waved at her and pointed to a table that had opened up in the corner. Unlike regular bars, Jo’s was more crowded midweek when it was easier for women to get away. Come weekends, the place went more “date night,” and that wasn’t as appealing to the regulars.

Dakota grabbed her drink and followed her sister to the empty table. Montana had been letting her hair grow out. It came more than halfway down her back, a cascade of different shades of blond. Last year it had been brown—the blond looked better.

All three sisters had their mother’s coloring with blond hair and dark brown eyes. Denise said it was the result of her surfing childhood—a humorous claim considering she’d been born and raised in Fool’s Gold and the town was over two hundred miles from the nearest ocean.

Dakota settled across from Montana. “How’s it going?” she asked.

“Good. Max is keeping me busy. Some guy from the government came by earlier in the week. I’m not sure which agency he works with, mostly because he didn’t tell us. He’d heard about the work Max does and wanted to test some of our dogs for their ability to differentiate scent.”

Last fall Montana had left her position at the library and gone to work for a man who trained therapy dogs. She’d attended several seminars, had learned to train the dogs and seemed to be loving everything about her new job.

Dakota sipped her lemondrop as a Madonna song played in the background. “Why?”

Montana leaned toward her and lowered her voice. “I think they would be trained to sniff out explosives. The guy wasn’t very clear. He knew Max from before, which makes me curious about his past. Not that I’m asking. I know Max likes me and all but I swear sometimes when he looks at me, he’s wondering if I even have half a brain.”

Dakota laughed. “You’re being too hard on yourself.”

“I don’t think so.”

Nevada walked up to the table. Although she was the same height and weight as her sisters, she managed to look completely different. Maybe it was the short hair or the jeans and long-sleeved shirts she favored. While Montana had always been on the girly end of the spectrum, Nevada preferred the tomboy look.

“Hi,” she said as she sat down across from Dakota. “How’s it going?”

“You should have been here earlier,” Montana said with a grin. “Dakota was with a guy.”

Nevada had raised her arm to wave at Jo. She froze in place and turned her brown eyes toward her sister. “Seriously? Anyone interesting?”

“I’m not sure if he’s interesting, but he’s yummy,” Montana said.

Dakota knew there was no point in fighting the inevitable. Even so, she tried. “It’s not what you think.”

Nevada dropped her arm and grinned. “You don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“I can guess.” Dakota sighed. “His name is Finn and his brothers are here to appear on the reality show.” She briefly outlined the problem—at least the one from Finn’s point of view.

“You should offer to comfort him in his hour of need,” Montana told her. “A hug that lingers. A soft kiss with a whisper of need. Soul-stirring touches that …” She looked at her sisters. “What?”

Nevada glanced at Dakota. “I think she’s slipped over the edge.”

“I think she needs a man,” Dakota told her, then looked at Montana. “Soul-stirring touches? Seriously?”

Montana dropped her head to her hands. “I need to spend some quality time with a naked man. It’s been too long.” She straightened, then smiled. “Or I could get drunk.”

“Whatever works,” Nevada muttered, accepting the tall vodka tonic Jo handed her. “Montana’s slipping over the edge.”

“It happens to the best of us,” Jo said cheerfully, passing Montana a rum and Diet Coke.

As Jo left, the front door opened and Charity and Liz walked in. Charity was the city planner, married to cyclist Josh Golden, while Liz had married the triplet’s brother, Ethan. Both women saw the sisters and headed over.

“How are things?” Charity asked as they approached.

“Good,” Dakota said, eyeing her friend. “You look amazing. Fiona is what—three months old? You’d never know you just had a baby.”

“Thanks. I’ve been walking a lot. Fiona is sleeping longer, so that helps.”

Liz shook her head. “I remember those baby nights. Thank goodness mine are older.”

“Wait until they start wanting to drive,” Nevada told her.

“I refuse to think about that.”

“Want to join us?” Montana asked.

Liz hesitated. “Charity’s been reading my work-in-progress and wants to discuss a couple of things. Next time?”

“Sure,” Dakota told them.

Liz wrote a successful detective series that had, until recently, featured victims who looked surprisingly like their brother Ethan. Now that he and Liz were together, Dakota had a feeling the next dead body would be completely different.

The two women walked to another table.

“How’s work?” Nevada asked Montana.

“Good. I’m training a couple of new puppies. I talked to Max about the reading program I’ve been researching. I have an appointment with a couple of school board members to talk about a trial program.”

Montana had discovered several studies that explained that kids who were bad readers improved more quickly when they read to dogs instead of people. Something about dogs being all support and no judgment, Dakota thought. When her sister had approached her about the studies, Dakota had done a little research and found even more supportive literature.

“I love the idea of going into schools and helping kids,” Montana said wistfully. “Max says we’re going to have to expect to do it for free in the beginning. Once we show results, the schools will hire us.” She wrinkled her nose. “Honestly, most of what we do is for free. I can’t figure out where he gets his money. Someone is paying my salary and to take care of the dogs. Even if he owns the land and the kennel is paid for, there’s still upkeep.”

“He hasn’t said where the support comes from?” Nevada asked.

Montana shook her head.

“You could ask him,” Dakota told her.

Montana rolled her eyes and picked up her drink. “That’s not going to happen.”

Montana wasn’t big on confrontation, Dakota thought. She turned to Nevada. “How are things with you?”

“Good. The same.” Her sister shrugged. “I’m in a rut.”

“How can you say that?” Montana asked. “You have a great job, you’ve always known what you want to do.”

“I know. I’m not saying I want to stop being an engineer and take up pole dancing, but sometimes …” She sighed. “I don’t know. I think my life needs to be shaken up a little.”

Dakota smiled. “We could always set Mom up on a date. That would be a distraction.”

Both her sisters stared at her.

“Mom date?” Montana asked, her eyes wide. “Has she said anything?”

“Not seriously, but she’s vibrant and attractive. Why wouldn’t she date?”

“It would be weird,” Montana said.

“Or uncomfortable.” Nevada picked up her drink. “She would probably find a guy in fifteen seconds. I can’t remember the last time I was on a date.”

“That’s what I thought, too,” Dakota admitted. “But don’t you think one of us should be successful at the dating thing?”

“You don’t see the humiliation of that person being our mother?” Nevada asked.

Dakota grinned. “There is that.”

Montana shook her head. “No. She can’t. What about Dad?”

Dakota studied her. “It’s been over ten years since he died. Doesn’t she deserve a life?”

“Don’t get all logical and therapist-y on me. I’m very comfortable not being the mature one.”

“Then you shouldn’t worry. We were just joking about it.” As a way to release tension, Dakota thought sadly. As a distraction from the truth about her inability to have children.

“She didn’t sign up for the show, did she?” Nevada asked. “Not that I wouldn’t support her if she did.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Thank God.” Nevada leaned back in her chair. “Speaking of the show, when do they announce the contestants?”

“Tomorrow. They’ve already made their casting decisions, but they’re not telling anyone in advance. I think they’re broadcasting live or something. I’m trying to stay out of it as much as I can.”

“Will Finn be there?” Montana asked.

“Nearly every day.”

Montana raised her eyebrows. “That will keep things interesting.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Dakota said lightly. “He’s a nice man, nothing more.”

Nevada grinned. “You expect us to believe that?” “Yes, and if you don’t, I expect you to pretend.”

AURELIA DID HER BEST to tune out the rant as she carefully put dishes into the dishwasher. The tirade was a familiar one. That Aurelia was a terrible daughter, selfish and cruel, who cared about no one but herself. That her mother had cared for her for years so it wasn’t wrong to expect a little support and comfort in her old age.

“I’ll be gone soon,” her mother declared. “I’m sure you’re counting the days until I’m dead.”

Aurelia turned slowly to face the woman who had raised her on a secretary’s salary. “Mama, you know that’s not true.”

“So I’m a liar?” her mother demanded. “Is that what you tell people?” Her mother’s face crumpled. “I’ve only ever loved you. You’re the most important person in my life. My only child. And this is the thanks I get?”

As always, Aurelia couldn’t quite follow the train of the argument. She was clear on the fact that she’d messed up—she always messed up. No matter what she did, she was a constant disappointment. Much like her father, who had abandoned both his wife and daughter.

Aurelia didn’t know if her mother had been a professional victim before he’d left, but she’d certainly taken on star status in the “poor me” department after.

“Look at you,” her mother continued, pointing to Aurelia’s long, straight hair. “You’re a mess. You think this is how to find a man? They don’t even see you. This is Fool’s Gold. There aren’t that many men. You have to try harder to get one here.”