Earth to Hell

‘It’s up to Mom,’ Michael said.

‘If you ask her to do this she will, Michael, you know that,’ the King said. ‘If she truly loves the Tiger then a week here will not be such a trial. And if I can talk her out of marrying him, it’s a bonus for you.’

‘No tricks,’ Michael said grimly.

The Demon King spread his hands. ‘I vow I shall not use any mind control at all. Just the power of persuasion. Hopefully you and I together can make her see exactly what she would be getting into if she were to marry this asshole.’

‘Do you want her for yourself?’ I said.

‘Of course I do, that’s why I’m doing this,’ the King said. ‘But more than that, I don’t want to see this remarkable woman with beauty and courage become the plaything of a man who will only treasure her until he has her in his possession. Once they are wed he will ignore her like all the others and go off in search of a new prize.’

Michael sighed and ran one hand over his face.

‘See? He knows,’ the King said with a grin.

‘Vow that you won’t hurt my mom and I’ll go talk to her,’ Michael said.

‘She will be accommodated as the princess she is. She will experience nothing but beauty and pleasure while she is in my care. That I vow.’

Michael studied the King appraisingly, then nodded once. ‘Deal. Let me see what I can do. How do I contact you?’

The King focused on Michael and Michael nodded. ‘Okay, got it. Take us back up and I’ll talk to her.’

CHAPTER 11

‘You sure about this, Michael?’ I said, as we appeared back in the kitchen at home.

Monica was frantically mopping the floor, which was awash with water, at least five centimetres deep. It flowed into the hallway, leaving a dark stain on the carpet. Gold’s child was hovering next to her but she didn’t seem to notice it. ‘Oh no!’ Simone said, and skipped through the water to the kitchen doorway.

‘I’m glad you’re back, Aunty Emma. It was awful and it hurt Uncle Marcus,’ the stone child said.

‘Did it hurt you, Monica?’ Simone said.

‘No, ma’am, just Marcus, but Master Gold says he’ll be okay.’ Monica mopped more briskly but her shoulders were shaking.

I went to her and put my arm around her. ‘Stop, Monica, go rest. Is Marcus in your room?’

She nodded through silent tears.

‘Gold is with Marcus in their room, checking him over,’ the stone in my ring said.

‘Go to him,’ I said. ‘We can fix this.’

I gently prised the mop out of her hand and led her to her room, which ran off the back of the kitchen. I tapped on the door and opened it a crack for her. ‘Go inside, Marcus is there. Everything will be fine.’

‘Daddy said to stay out here, Aunty Emma,’ Gold’s child said, sounding concerned. ‘It was pretty bad.’

‘You stay out here with us, we’ll look after you,’ I said to the child. ‘Do you need anything?’

The child dropped to rest on the kitchen bench. ‘No, I’m okay.’ It hesitated, then, ‘It was really scary.’

I held my hand out and the stone flashed over to snuggle into my palm. ‘Thanks, Aunty Emma,’ it said softly.

‘What the hell happened here?’ Michael said, looking at the water in bewilderment.

‘Simone, it would be a good idea to send it down the drain before it completely destroys the carpet,’ I said.

Simone’s face went rigid, then she relented and raised her hand. The water on the floor coalesced into a large glistening sphere that formed a funnel and gushed into the kitchen sink and down the drain. ‘Elemental,’ Simone said. She concentrated again and the remaining water lifted out of the carpet into a brownish lump, leaving the wool completely dry. ‘Wow, our carpet’s dirty. We should have it cleaned, Emma.’

‘Water elemental?’ Michael said.

‘Yes,’ I said, carefully holding the stone child in my hand so that I wouldn’t wake it; it had fallen asleep almost immediately. ‘They’re annoyed that Simone won’t summon them. She doesn’t have any control over what they do. This one probably sensed she was in Hell and came here to find out what happened.’

Gold came out of Marcus and Monica’s room. ‘They’ll be fine, ma’am. Marcus nearly drowned though.’ He turned to Simone. ‘Princess, you really need to train with us. Learn how to summon and control these elementals.’

Simone turned away and headed towards her room.

‘Talk to her, Lady Emma, please,’ Gold said. ‘This can’t go on. Marcus was nearly killed. It’s only the fact that he’s half-Shen that saved him; any ordinary man would have drowned.’

He saw the stone in my hand and his face softened. ‘My baby was very scared by the whole thing.’ He reached out and I passed the stone to him.

‘Hold me, Daddy,’ the baby said sleepily.

‘I won’t let you go, bebe,’ Gold said. He looked up. ‘Everything’s under control now, ma’am, it should be fine. But please talk to Simone.’

‘She could control water elementals and she doesn’t want to,’ Michael said grimly. ‘Typical.r’Bout time she grew up.’ He fell to one knee and quickly saluted me. ‘By your leave, Lady Emma, I’ll go talk to my mom.’

‘Say hello to her for me,’ I said, and he disappeared. ‘Take the baby home, Gold. I’ll talk to Simone.’

‘Can I talk to you in your office, after you talk to her?’ Gold said.

‘Sure, wait for me there.’

I went to Simone’s room. She sat at her desk, working on her homework. I entered and sat on the bed.

‘Simone, if Marcus wasn’t half-Shen, that elemental would have killed him. Both he and Monica are lucky to be alive.’

‘Why can’t those elementals just go away and leave me alone?’ Simone said without looking up from her homework. ‘I hate them.’

‘That’s part of the problem, sweetheart, and you know it.’

She turned and glared at me. ‘I don’t want any of this, Emma. I just want to be a normal kid. These elementals are freaking everybody out.’

‘Learn to control them then.’

‘Yeah, sure.’ She turned back to her homework. ‘I’ll learn to control them and be even more powerful. I’ll walk through the Academy and people will be more scared of me.’

‘Nobody’s scared of you, Simone.’

She threw her pen onto the exercise book. ‘Don’t lie to me, Emma, I can sense it. Some of the students are terrified of me. Like I’m some sort of monster or something. And after what happened in Heaven, it’ll be twice as bad. The ones that know about your serpent are terrified of you too.’

‘The serpent is the least of it. I’m terrified of myself.’

She dropped her head and her voice became small. ‘Me too,’ she said. ‘Do you have any idea how much damage I could do with even a small amount of yin? And my control of it isn’t that great either.’ She shook her head. ‘When I bring it out, it wants me to destroy everything.’

‘You need to learn to handle the elementals, Simone. Next time we may not be so lucky. Go down to the Academy and have the Masters teach you.’

‘I hate the Academy. I hate the way everybody bows to me, and is scared of me, and some of them freaking want to be my friend just because of who my father is. I hate it.’

‘I can have one of the Masters come here, if you like. You won’t even have to go down to the Academy. Just learn to control them so they don’t hurt anybody.’

She sighed and turned back to her book. ‘Okay, Emma, I s’pose you’re right. But please, talk to the school. I don’t want to repeat Year Nine. I’ve made some great friends there and they treat me like an ordinary kid.’

‘I’ll talk to them for you.’

‘Thanks.’ She tapped the book with her pen. ‘This biology homework is due soon. I need to finish it.’

I rose to go. ‘Okay, sweetheart. Let me know if you need anything.’

‘Do me a favour?’ she said without looking up from her book.

‘Hm?’

‘Don’t call me sweetheart, Emma, I’m not a little kid.’

I bowed slightly. ‘Princess.’

She spun and threw the pen to hit me right between the eyes. I caught it easily and returned it to her desk.

‘Leo’s gonna call you sweetheart,’ I said. ‘He called me that all the time.’

‘Leo can get away with itr’cause he’s gay.’

‘Nothing to do with it.’

‘Out, Emma.’

‘Ma’am.’

‘Humph.’

I went into John’s office, where Gold was waiting, his baby cradled in his hands. The stone drifted out of my ring across the desk, then took human form and sat in the chair opposite me. It was a slim European gentleman in his mid-sixties with a shock of white hair, wearing a smart dark green suit and tie. He leaned his elbows on the desk and rubbed his hands over his face.

Neither he nor Gold looked at each other but both appeared concerned.

‘Well?’ I said.

Gold glanced at his parent and shrugged.

‘Normally we stones stand aside from the …’ the stone from my ring searched for the word, ‘… the organic community. We keep ourselves to ourselves, serve the Celestial as we should, and have our own network. But things have been happening.’

Gold touched his child thoughtfully and it made a soft squeak of sleepy contentment. My stone’s face softened as it watched.

‘We have problems,’ Gold said. ‘And although we would like to solve them ourselves, I think this time we need help.’

‘We’re disappearing,’ the stone from my ring said. ‘Without a trace.’

‘Show her, Dad,’ Gold said.

A haphazard web of glowing white lines, about sixty centimetres across, appeared floating above the desk. The lines connected hundreds of tiny black dots. It was like looking at a virtual map of the internet.

‘The black dots are Eastern stone Shen — there are about a thousand of us altogether,’ Gold said. ‘The lines are our network.’

‘This is what the network looked like six months ago,’ the stone from my ring said.

About fifty of the dots blinked out, taking the glowing lines with them.

‘Five months ago,’ Gold said.

Another twenty dots blinked out and the lines representing the network thinned.

‘Three months ago,’ the stone said.

Another fifty dots blinked out. About a tenth of the lines had disappeared.

‘Last month,’ Gold said.

‘We lost another twenty in the last two weeks,’ the stone said.

‘About a fifth of the stone Shen have disappeared in the last six months?’ I said, incredulous.

‘Slightly less, about fourteen per cent,’ Gold said. He placed his hand over his child. ‘Most of them were our younger progeny, less than a thousand years old.’

‘And now the Demon Prince Six has reappeared,’ the stone said. ‘And this was the one that was messing with stones before.’

Gold held his child closer. ‘Six is once again stealing our children.’

‘Please tell me the Celestial knows about this,’ I said. ‘I’m not the first person you’ve made aware of this, am I?’

They didn’t reply.

‘The Jade Emperor has to know,’ I said.

‘He probably does, but unless we ask for Celestial intervention, this is an internal stone matter, as we have an agreement with the Celestial to …’ The stone from my ring smiled slightly. ‘Butt out of our business.’

‘Then get onto the JE and tell him about this, because something is obviously going on,’ I said. ‘What’s happening to them anyway?’

‘That’s the thing, Emma,’ the stone from my ring said, his voice gravelly with stress. ‘We have no idea.’

‘We were hoping that, as Dad’s owner, you could bring this up with him on our behalf,’ Gold said.

‘Why don’t you go to him yourselves?’ I said, then nodded as I understood. ‘Of course, lose too much face asking him to come in and give you a hand when you’ve already told him to butt out.’

‘Face has nothing to do with it,’ Gold said indignantly.

‘You know she’s right,’ the stone from my ring said with resignation. He glanced up at me. ‘So will you talk to him?’

‘Prepare a memorial. I’ll look at it and sign it and chop it and send it on as FHG,’ I said.

‘FHG?’ Gold said, confused.

‘First Heavenly General,’ the stone said.

‘Oh.’ Gold shook his head. ‘You don’t show the same amount of respect for Celestial matters that others do, Emma. Sometimes it’s … strange.’

‘Try spending all your time with her,’ the stone said dryly. ‘I thought my attitude was perverse.’

‘I’ve written the memorial for you; it’s on your hard disk in the Celestial Matters folder,’ Gold said.

‘I’ll take a look,’ I said.

Gold saluted me. ‘Ma’am. By your leave.’

‘Go home. If I need you I’ll contact you.’

Gold disappeared. My stone folded up its human form and returned to the ring.

I opened the email program on John’s computer.

‘There’s an email there from Simone’s teacher; I sent her one making an appointment for you to see her day after tomorrow, after school,’ the stone said. ‘I’ve changed the computer records of Simone’s absences from school, so all you have to do is claim that they have the absence rate wrong.’

‘You shouldn’t have done that, it’s dishonest,’ I said.

‘It’s a Celestial solution to a Celestial problem. If she wasn’t the daughter of Xuan Tian this would not be an issue.’

‘Anything else important there?’

The stone’s voice softened. ‘You have five challenges, but this is pretty bad. Er Lang has called you out.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t know why he wants to match skills with you. He’s one of the most powerful warriors on the Celestial, and I’m sure he could defeat you easily. He definitely doesn’t want Simone’s hand — he’s a confirmed bachelor.’

‘He’s gay?’

‘Nobody really knows; he’s never been seen in the company of anyone, male or female. There’s some speculation that he has something going on with his dog.’

‘Ew. And his dog’s male.’

‘Oh come on, Emma, look at the Tiger. You know that he gets together with his wives sometimes in Tiger form and —’

I raised my hands. ‘Stop. Stop. Way too much information. You are thoroughly squicking me out here.’

‘Okay, Emma, think for a moment. What if your own true love, the Turtle, were to return to you in full possession of his senses but in such a weakened state that he could only take True Form?’

I dropped my hands.

‘What if you were swimming, and the Turtle were to drift through the water to meet you, told you in John’s voice that he loved you with all his heart, then held you gently with his flippers and —’

I interrupted again. ‘Cut it out. Enough. Whatever. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.’

‘It might happen, Emma … Oh. Incoming message.’

The stone was silent for a moment and I waited for it. When it spoke its voice was full of amusement. ‘Typical of the Tiger. Lady Rhonda’s engagement ring just contacted me. The Tiger has given her a sentient diamond Shen as the centrepiece of the ring. Nothing nearly as precious as me, but diamond Shen are quite rare. This one is arrogant to the extreme. Lady Rhonda wants to know if you are free for lunch tomorrow so she can discuss the ramifications of going to Hell, and what she can expect there.’

‘Am I free?’

‘I’ve already confirmed it for you. Now, we need to look at your diary, because you have five challenges you need to take care of sometime in the next two weeks.’

‘And Er Lang.’

‘Him above all.’

CHAPTER 12

‘I feel like Persephone,’ Rhonda said over her salad.

The years had been kind to her and she radiated intelligence and confidence. ‘Kidnapped by Hades, and having to spend half her life in Hell because she ate six pomegranate seeds.’

‘He won’t keep you there, don’t worry,’ I said. ‘He’s trustworthy.’ I rested my chin in my hand. ‘Actually I trust him more than some Celestials. He won’t try anything.’

‘He won’t expect me to sleep with him or anything?’

‘No. Absolutely not. Nothing like that. He just wants to talk to you.’

‘I know. He wants to talk me out of remarrying Ah Bai.’

‘Congratulations, by the way. The ring is gorgeous.’

She held the engagement ring up for me to see. The central diamond must have been at least two carats and it was surrounded by more large diamonds in a glittering circle. ‘It’s way too big and a pain most of the time, but it’s the thought that counts, I suppose. And you’re right, these stones can be extremely useful.’

‘I am honoured to be able to serve the Lady Rhonda and to act as the symbol of her troth,’ the stone in her ring said, sounding like a young Chinese woman with a soft Putonghua accent. ‘As a stone that will never decay, I represent the Emperor of the West’s unfailing adoration of her.’

‘Nice to meet you,’ I said. ‘Do you have a name?’

‘I was not graced with a name until the Lady Rhonda took possession of me. She has chosen the name of Zara for me, and I am honoured.’

Rhonda shrugged. ‘She’s a sweetie.’

‘I am proud to serve, my Lady,’ the stone said.

Rhonda leaned on the table, serious, her salad forgotten. ‘What will it be like down there?’

‘On the demonic side? I have no idea.’

‘But Simon Wong kept you imprisoned there for a few weeks. What was that like?’

I leaned back. ‘It was exactly like a posh apartment on top of Harbour City. I could even see the cars parking on the roof of Ocean Terminal. The windows were an illusion, and they were sealed, but it was just like an apartment.’

‘All indoors?’

‘The Celestial side of Hell appeared to be outdoors, even though there was no sun. I couldn’t tell you, Rhonda, but my guess is that it’ll be pretty nice.’

‘Hell. Nice.’ She shook her head. ‘Lovely.’

‘It’s good of you to consider doing this for Leo, Rhonda. I really appreciate it.’

She shrugged. ‘The Tiger said I should be fine, and it will prove to everybody on the Celestial that I’m serious about marrying him, so he supports me a hundred per cent.’

‘All the best for both of you then. It’ll be a tough job for you, being Empress of the West. You’ll have a lot to manage.’

She picked up her fork and moved her salad around. ‘You have no idea. He’s putting me in charge of a massive palace and a hundred women who are all baying for my blood.’

‘They’re not. They wouldn’t.’

She smiled up at me. ‘Well, you know — we all like to think that we’re his special wife, the one he’ll leave all the others for. Now I’ve stepped up and I am the one he nearly left the others for — they hate me. Your friend Louise is probably going to come down as soon as she can and ask you to do something about me.’

‘She knows you’re my friend. She wouldn’t ask me to do that.’

‘The others are pushing her. I’ve already been attacked a couple of times.’ She nodded over her shoulder to where two burly sons of the Tiger stood near the door of the restaurant. ‘The Tiger’s had to give me a personal guard.’

‘To protect you from his other wives?’

She nodded, amused. ‘He’s said I should start disciplining them the minute we’re married. Apparently during Imperial times it was quite common for the Empress to order misbehaving concubines beaten or executed.’ Her smile became wry. ‘Sometimes he really needs to be dragged tail-first into the twenty-first century.’

‘Good luck managing that,’ I said with disbelief. ‘I’m glad all I have is a Heavenly realm falling to bits and about four hundred young and unruly Disciples skilled in Arts that give them the ability to maim and kill without even thinking. What you have is much worse.’

‘Hey, Zara,’ Rhonda said.

‘Hmm?’ her stone replied.

‘Who has it worse, me or Lady Emma?’

‘Oh, definitely Lady Emma,’ the stone said. ‘She has to deal with that ugly piece of worn-out jade on her finger on top of all her other trials.’

‘It was me that wore you out, baby,’ the stone in my ring said slyly.

‘Pig-dog,’ said Rhonda’s stone.

‘Look, if the cheating works both ways then it’s still cheating and the win isn’t valid,’ Marshal Meng said, looking and sounding more like an exasperated grandfather than a Heavenly General.

‘I cancelled out the cheats they used. I wasn’t cheating myself, just making it fair,’ Marshal Liang said, his huge whiskers bristling.

‘You are all contributing to the wealth of the casino lords, you know that,’ I said as I entered the conference room.

‘What do you think, Emma?’ Marshal Meng said, gracefully indicating his heavy-set companion. ‘Liang here uses his abilities to cancel out the cheat on the roulette wheel. That’s still cheating and invalidates any wins he makes.’

‘I just make it fair,’ Liang said, indignant.

‘Do you lose then?’ I said. ‘As if the wheel wasn’t weighted?’

Liang nodded. ‘Perfectly fair if I win.’

‘Then when you lose you’re still adding to the wealth of the casino lords and you doubly lose,’ I said, to a chorus of chuckles from the other Generals. ‘Some of that wealth is siphoned into the Triads, some of the Triads are controlled by demons, so if you lose at the table you’re helping the enemy. If you win at the table you’re cheating. Give it up.’

Liang opened and closed his mouth, then smiled wryly. ‘You have a point, Lady Emma.’ He looked around at the other Generals. ‘I suppose we should have this meeting now.’

The Generals sat down good-naturedly at the conference table and waited for me. In the past they had kept their forms reasonably standard, but as they’d come to realise that I didn’t really care what they looked like, they’d taken a variety of interesting — and sometimes nondescript — forms.

The highest-ranking General present was Marshal Ma, who was a slim, elegant gentleman in his mid-thirties, his hair cut short in the modern style, wearing a pair of slacks and a polo shirt. He seemed too refined to be involved in killing demons but was a fierce and talented fighter.

Next to him sat Marshal Gao, wearing traditional silvery Tang-style robes and armour, his long hair bound in a topknot. He was concentrating and so, for a change, wasn’t glowing gently, but as the discussion became heated and he forgot, the glow was guaranteed to return, much to his embarrassment.

Marshal Liang sat next to him, a fierce, heavy-set man with huge sideburns, wearing a short yellow robe and large cloth boots in the Mongolian style. He still looked put out at having his gambling habits called into question.

Marshal Meng was on the other side of the table, looking more like a fifty-year-old bureaucrat than anything else in his black robe and old-fashioned plain cloth cap. He smiled serenely, still appearing like a kindly grandfather.

Closest to me was Marshal Zhu, who, although seeming a pretty, fresh-faced young woman of about sixteen, was much tougher and wiser than her appearance suggested.

As the one with highest precedence, I spoke first. ‘Four main things,’ I said. ‘Leo’s kidnapping. Northern Heavens.’ There was a chorus of groans around the table. ‘Me getting called out by Er Lang —’

‘Er Lang called you out?’ Ma said, shocked.

I nodded. ‘Simone and elementals. Anything major from you guys?’

‘Nothing as bad as that,’ Ma said. ‘Leo first, this is important. We heard about the stone left in his cell in Hell — this is disturbing.’

I leaned on the table. ‘Why are Simon Wong’s little friends who could manipulate stones becoming more active now? You’d think they’d have tried us right after Lord Xuan left. But they’ve waited eight years, and all they’ve done is take Leo.’

‘Of course it’s a trap,’ Marshal Liang said. ‘The Demon King will probably tell you where they are so you can walk right into it.’

‘Do you think he’s helping them?’ I asked. ‘He vowed that he wasn’t, but I don’t know if I can trust him any more. With Lord Xuan gone, he’s making more and more attempts at us. And he’s used Leo’s disappearance as a way of getting Rhonda into Hell for a week. It almost seems too convenient.’

‘I strongly doubt he’s in league with them,’ Ma said. ‘Given half a chance these stone-controlling demons would probably put a knife in the King’s back. He’s hoping you can destroy them without him having to do anything, same as when Simone destroyed One Two Two for him.’