Death at the Bar

‘Right enough, sonny. A fine noble ideal, I don’t doubt, and when you’ve got us all toeing the line with no handicaps and nothing to run for –’

‘The good of the State to run for. Each man equal –’

‘And all coming in first. Damn’ queer sort of race.’

‘The old argument,’ said Legge from the fireplace, ‘and based as usual on a false analogy.’

‘Is it a false analogy?’ asked Watchman. ‘You propose to kill private enterprise –’

‘A chap,’ said Will Pomeroy, ‘will be as ambitious for the public good as he will for his own selfish aims. Give him the chance – that’s all. Teach him to think. The people –’

‘The people!’ interrupted Watchman, looking at Legge’s back. ‘What do you mean by the people? I suppose you mean that vast collection of individuals whose wages are below a certain sum and who are capable of being led by the nose when the right sort of humbug comes along.’

‘That’s no argument,’ began Will angrily. ‘That’s no more than a string of silly opinions.’

‘That’ll do, sonny,’ said Abel.

‘It’s all right, Abel,’ said Watchman, still looking at Legge. ‘I invited the discussion. No offence, I should like to hear what Mr Legge has to say about private enterprise. As treasurer –’

‘Wait a bit, Bob,’ said Will as Legge turned from the fireplace. ‘I don’t like the way you said that, Mr Watchman. Bob Legge here is well-respected in the Coombe. He’s not been long in these parts, ten months isn’t it, Bob? But we’ve learned to know him and we’ve learned to like him. Reckon we’ve showed we trust him, too, seeing the position we’ve given him.’

‘My dear Will,’ said Watchman delicately, ‘I don’t dispute it for a moment. I think Mr Legge has done remarkably well for himself, in ten months.’

Will’s face was scarlet under his thatch of fox-coloured hair. He moved forward and confronted Watchman, his tankard clenched in a great ham of a fist, his feet planted apart.

‘Shut up, now, Luke,’ said Sebastian Parish softly, and Cubitt murmured, ‘don’t heckle, Luke, you’re on a holiday.’

‘See here, Mr Watchman,’ said Will, ‘you can afford to sneer, can’t you, but I’d like to know –’

‘Will!’ Old Abel slapped the bar with an open hand. ‘That’s enough. You’m a grown chap, not a lad, and what’s more, the son of this house. Seems like I ought to give’ee light draught and lemonade till you learn to take a man’s pint like a man. If you can’t talk politics and hold your temper then you’ll not talk politics at all. ‘Be a job for you in Public here. ’Tend it.’

‘I’m sorry, Will,’ said Watchman. ‘Mr Legge is fortunate in his friend.’

Will Pomeroy stood and looked under his brows from Watchman to Legge. Legge shrugged his shoulders, muttered something about moving into the public bar, and went out. Will turned on Watchman.

‘There’s something behind all this,’ he said. ‘I want to know what the game is, Mr Watchman, and damme, I’m going to find out.’

‘Did I hear something about a game?’ said a woman’s voice. They all turned to look at the doorway. There they saw a short fat figure clad in a purple tweed skirt and a green jersey.

‘May I come in?’ asked the Hon. Violet Darragh.

III

Miss Darragh’s entrance broke up the scene. Will Pomeroy turned, ducked under the flap of the private bar, and leant over the counter into the Public. Watchman stood up. The others turned to Miss Darragh with an air of relief, and Abel Pomeroy, with his innkeeper’s heartiness, intensified perhaps by a feeling of genuine relief, said loudly, ‘Come in then, Miss, company’s waiting for you and you’m in time for a drink, with the house.’

‘Not Treble Extra, Mr Pomeroy, if you don’t mind. Sherry for me, if you please.’

She waddled over to the bar, placed her hands on the counter, and with an agility that astonished Watchman, made a neat little vault on to one of the tall stools. There she sat beaming upon the company.

She was a woman of perhaps fifty, but it would have been difficult to guess at her age since time had added to her countenance and figure merely layer after layer of firm wholesome fat. She was roundabout and compact. Her face was babyish, and this impression was heightened by the tight grey curls that covered her head. In repose she seemed to pout, and it was not until she spoke that her good humour appeared in her eyes, and was magnified by her spectacles. All fat people wear a look of inscrutability, and Violet Darragh was not unlike a jolly sort of sphinx.

Abel served her and she took the glass delicately in her small white paws.

‘Well, now,’ she said, ‘is everybody having fun?’ and then caught sight of Watchman. ‘Is this your cousin, Mr Parish?’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Parish hurriedly. ‘Mr Watchman, Miss Darragh.’

‘How d’ye do?’ said Miss Darragh.

Like many Irishwomen of her class she spoke with such a marked brogue that one wondered whether it was inspired by a kind of jocularity that had turned into a habit.

‘I’ve heard about you, of course, and read about you in the papers, for I dearly love a good murder and if I can’t have me murder I’m all for arson. That was a fine murder case you defended last year, now, Mr Watchman. Before you took silk, ’twas you did your best for the poor scoundrel.’

Watchman expanded.

‘I didn’t get him off, Miss Darragh.’

‘Ah well, and a good job you didn’t, for we’d none of us have been safe in our beds. And there’s Mr Cubitt come from his painting down by the jetty, in mortal terror, poor man, lest I plague him with me perspective.’

‘Not at all,’ said Cubitt, turning rather pink.

‘I’ll leave you alone now. I know very well I’m a trouble to you, but it’s good for your character, and you may look upon me as a kind of holiday penance.’

‘You’re a painter too, Miss Darragh?’ said Watchman.

‘I’m a raw amateur, Mr Watchman, but I’ve a kind of itch for ut. When I see a little peep I can’t rest till I’m at ut with me paints. There’s Mr Cubitt wincing as if he had a nagging tooth, when I talk of a pretty peep. You’ve a distinguished company in your house, Mr Pomeroy,’ continued Miss Darragh. ‘I thought I was coming to a quiet little village, and what do I find but a galaxy of the talents. Mr Parish who’s turned me heart over many a time with his acting; Mr Cubitt, down there painting within stone’s throw of meself, and now haven’t we the great counsel to add to our intellectual feast. I wonder now, Mr Watchman, if you remember me poor cousin Bryonie’s case?’

‘I – yes,’ said Watchman, greatly disconcerted. ‘I – I defended Lord Bryonie. Yes.’

‘And didn’t he only get the mere eighteen months due entirely to your eloquence? Ah, he’s dead now, poor fellow. Only a shadow of himself, he was when he came out. It was a terrible shock to ’um.’

‘Undoubtedly.’

‘’Twas indeed. He never had many brains, poor fellow, and it was an unlucky day for the family when he took it into his head to dabble in business. Where’s Miss Moor? I thought I heard you speak of a game of darts.’

‘She’s coming,’ said Cubitt.

‘And I hope you’ll all play again for I found it a great entertainment. Are you a dart player too, Mr Watchman?’

‘I try,’ said Watchman.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs.

‘Here is Decima,’ said Cubitt.

IV

A tall young woman came into the room and stood, very much at her ease, screwing her eyes up a little in the glare of the lights.

‘I’m so sorry if I’ve kept you waiting,’ said Decima Moor. ‘Good-evening, every one.’

They all greeted her. There was a second’s pause and then Watchman moved into the centre of the room.

‘Good-evening,’ said Watchman.

She faced him and met his gaze.

‘So you have arrived,’ she said. ‘Good-evening.’

She touched his outstretched hand, walked over to the bar, and settled herself on one of the tall stools. She wore a fisherman’s jersey and dark blue slacks. Her hair was cut like a poet’s of the romantic period and was moulded in short locks about her head and face. She was good-looking with a classic regularity of beauty that was given an individual quirk by the blackness of her brows and the singular intensity of her eyes. She moved with the kind of grace that only just escapes angularity. She was twenty-four years of age.

If an observant stranger had been at the Feathers that evening, he might have noticed that on Decima’s entrance the demeanour of most of the men changed. For Decima owned that quality which Hollywood has loudly defined for the world. She owned a measure of attraction over which she herself had little governance. Though she must have been aware of this, she seemed unaware, and neither in her manner nor in her speech did she appear to exercise conscious charm. Yet from the moment of her entrance the men when they spoke to each other, looked at her, and in each of them was the disturbance of Decima’s attraction reflected. Watchman’s eyes brightened, he became more alert, and he spoke a little louder. Parish expanded as if in a spotlight and he exuded gallantry. Cubitt’s air of vague amiability contracted to a sharp awareness. Abel Pomeroy beamed upon Decima. Will, still flushed from his passage with Watchman, turned a deeper red. He answered her greeting awkwardly and was very much the solemn and self-conscious rustic.

Decima took a cigarette from Parish and looked round the taproom.

‘Has the dart game begun?’ she asked.

‘We’re waiting for you, my angel,’ said Parish. ‘What have you been doing with yourself all this time?’

‘Washing. I’ve attended a poison party. I hope you didn’t spill prussic acid about the garage, you two Pomeroys.’

‘You’re not ’feared, too, are you Miss Dessy?’ asked Abel. ‘A fine, bold, learned, female like you.’

Decima laughed.

‘A revolting picture,’ she said. ‘What do you think Will?’

She leant across the bar and looked beyond Abel into the Public. Will’s back was towards her. He turned and faced Decima. His eyes devoured her, but he said nothing. Decima raised her tankard and drank to him. He returned the gesture clumsily, and Cubitt saw Watchman’s eyebrows go up.

‘Well,’ said Decima suddenly, ‘what have you all been talking about? You’re very silent now, I must say.’

Before any of the others could reply, Watchman said: ‘We’ve been arguing, my dear.’

‘Arguing?’ She still looked at Will. Watchman drained his tankard, moved up to the bar, and sat on the stool next hers.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Until Miss Darragh came in we did nothing else.’

‘And why should I stop you?’ asked Miss Darragh. She slipped neatly off her high stool and toddled into the ingle-nook. ‘I’ve a passion for argument. What was it about, now? Art? Politics? Love?’

‘It was about politics,’ said Watchman, still looking at Decima. ‘The State, the People, and – private enterprise.’

‘You?’ Decima said. ‘But you’re hopeless. When our way of things comes round, you’ll be one of our major problems.’

‘Really? Won’t you need any barristers?’

‘I wish I could say no,’ said Decima.

Watchman laughed.

‘At least,’ he said, ‘I may hold a watching brief for you.’

She didn’t answer and he insisted: ‘Mayn’t I?’

‘You’re talking nonsense,’ said Decima.

‘Well,’ said Parish suddenly, ‘how about a Round-the-Clock contest to enliven the proceedings?’

‘Why not, indeed?’ murmured Cubitt.

‘Will you play?’ Watchman asked Decima.

‘Of course. Let’s all play. Coming, Will?’

But Will Pomeroy jerked his head towards the public taproom where two or three new-comers noisily demanded drinks.

‘Will you play, Miss Darragh?’ asked Decima.

‘I will not, thank you my dear. I’ve no eye at all for sport. When I was a child, didn’t I half-blind me brother Terence with an apple intended to strike me brother Brian? I’d do you some mischief were I to try. Moreover, I’m too fat. I’ll sit and watch the fun.’

Cubitt, Parish and Decima Moore stood in front of the dart-board. Watchman walked into the ingle-nook. From the moment when Will Pomeroy had taken up cudgels for him against Watchman, Legge had faded out. He had taken his drink, his pipe, and his thoughts, whatever they might be, into the public bar.

Presently a burst of applause broke out, and Will Pomeroy shouted that Legge was a wizard and invited Decima and Cubitt to look at what he had done. The others followed, peered into the public bar. A colossal red-faced man stood with his hand against the public dart-board. His fingers were spread out, and in the gaps between darts were embedded, with others outside the thumb and the little finger.

‘Look at that!’ cried Will. ‘Look at it!’

‘Ah,’ said Watchman. ‘So Mr Legge has found another victim. A great many people seem to have faith in Mr Legge.’

There was a sudden silence. Watchman leant over the private bar and raised his voice.

‘We are going to have a match,’ he said. ‘Three-a-side. Mr Legge, will you join us?’

Legge took his pipe out of his mouth and said, ‘What’s the game?’

‘Darts. Round-the-Clock.’

‘Round-the-Clock?’

‘Yes. Haven’t you played that version?’

‘A long time ago. I’ve forgotten –’

‘You have to get one dart in each segment in numerical sequence, ending on a double,’ explained Cubitt.

‘In fact,’ said Watchman very pleasantly, ‘you might call it “Doing Time.” Haven’t you ever done time, Mr Legge?’

‘No,’ said Legge, ‘But I’ll take you on. I’ll be there in a minute.’

‘Right. And if you beat me at this I’m damned if tomorrow night I don’t let you take a pot at my hand.’

‘Thank you,’ said Legge. ‘I’ll remember.’

CHAPTER 3

Further Advance by Watchman

‘The chief fault in Luke,’ said Sebastian Parish, ‘is that he is quite incapable of letting well alone.’

Norman Cubitt tilted his hat over his eyes, peered from Parish to his canvas, and began to scuffle among his tubes of paint. He uttered a short grunt.

‘More than that,’ added Parish, ‘he glories in making bad a good deal worse. Do you mind my talking, old boy?’

‘No. Turn the head a little to the right. Too much. That’s right. I won’t keep you much longer. Just while the sun’s on the left side of the face. The shoulders are coming too far round again.’

‘You talk like a doctor about my members – “the” head, “the” face, “the” shoulders.’

‘You’re a vain fellow, Seb. Now, hold it like that, do. Yes, there’s something persistently impish in Luke. He jabs at people. What was he up to last night with Will Pomeroy and Legge?’

‘Damned if I know. Funny business, wasn’t it? Do you think he’s jealous of Will?’

‘Jealous?’ repeated Cubitt. With his palette-knife he laid an unctuous stroke of blue beside the margin of the painted head. ‘Why, jealous?’

‘Well – because of Decima.’

‘Oh nonsense! And yet I don’t know. He’s not your cousin for nothing, Seb. Luke’s got his share of the family vanity.’

‘I don’t know why you say I’m vain, damn you. I don’t think I’m vain at all. Do you know I get an average of twelve drivelling letters a day from females in front? And do they mean a thing to me?’

‘You’d be bitterly disappointed if there was a falling off. Don’t move your shoulders. But you may be right about Luke.’

‘I’d like to know,’ said Parish, ‘just how much last year’s little flirtation with Decima added up to.’

‘Would you? I don’t think it’s relevant.’

‘Well,’ said Parish, ‘she’s an attractive wench. More “It” to the square inch than most of them. It’s hard to say why. She’s got looks, of course, but not the looks that usually get over that way. Not the voluptuous type. Her –’

‘Shut up,’ said Cubitt violently and added: ‘I’m going to paint your mouth.’

His own was set in an unusually tight line. He worked for a time in silence, stood back, and said abruptly:

‘I don’t really think Will Pomeroy was his objective. He was getting at Legge, and why the devil he should pick on a man he’d never seen in his life until last night is more than I can tell.’

‘I thought he seemed to be sort of probing. Trying to corner Legge in some way.’

Cubitt paused with his knife over the canvas.

‘Yes,’ he said slowly. ‘That’s perfectly true. I thought so too. Trick of the trade perhaps. Counsels curiosity. Almost one expected him to put his foot on the seat of a chair and rest his elbow on his knee. Now I come to think of it, I believe he did hitch his coat up by the lapels.’

‘Characteristic,’ pronounced Parish seriously. He himself had used these touches several times in trial scenes.

Cubitt smiled. ‘But he sounded definitely malicious,’ he added.

‘He’s not malicious,’ said Parish uncomfortably.

‘Oh yes, he is,’ said Cubitt coolly. ‘It’s one of his more interesting qualities. He can be very malicious.’

‘He can be very generous too.’

‘I’m sure he can. I like Luke, you know. He interests me enormously.’

‘Apparently, he likes you,’ said Parish. ‘Apparently.’

‘Hallo!’ Cubitt walked back from his canvas and stood squinting at it. ‘You said that with a wealth of meaning, Seb. What’s in the air? You can rest a minute if you like.’

Parish moved off the boulder where he had been sitting, stretched himself elaborately, and joined Cubitt. He gazed solemnly at his own portrait. It was a large canvas. The figure in the dull red sweater was three-quarter life-size. It was presented as a dark form against the lighter background which was the sea and sky. The sky appeared as a series of paling arches, the sea as a simple plane broken by formalized waves. A glint of sunlight had found the cheek and jawbone on the right side of the face.

‘Marvellous, old boy,’ said Parish. ‘Marvellous!’

Cubitt, who disliked being called ‘old boy,’ grunted.

‘Did you say you’d show it in this year’s Academy?’ asked Parish.

‘I didn’t, Seb, but I will. I’ll stifle my æsthetic conscience, prostitute my undoubted genius, and send your portrait to join the annual assembly of cadavers. Do you prefer “Portrait of an Actor”, “Sebastian Parish, Esq”! or simply “Sebastian Parish”?’

‘I think I would like my name,’ said Parish seriously. ‘Not, I mean, that everybody wouldn’t know –’

‘Thank you. But I see your point. Your press agent would agree. What were you going to say about Luke? His generosity, you know, and his apparently liking me so much?’

‘I don’t think I ought to tell you, really.’

‘But of course, you are going to tell me.’

‘He didn’t actually say it was in confidence,’ said Parish.

Cubitt waited with a slight smile.

‘You’d be amazed if you knew,’ continued Parish.

‘Yes?’

‘Yes. Oh, rather. At least I imagine you would be. I was. I never expected anything of the sort, and after all I am his nearest relation. His next-of-kin.’

Cubitt turned and looked at him in real astonishment.

‘Are you by any chance,’ he asked, ‘talking about Luke’s will?’

‘How did you guess?’

‘My dear, good Seb –’

‘All right, all right. I suppose I did give it away. You may as well hear the whole thing. Luke told me the other day that he was leaving his money between us.’

‘Good Lord!’

‘I know. I happened to look him up after the show one evening, and found him browsing over an official-looking document. I said something, chaffingly you know, about it, and he said: “Well, Seb, you’ll find it out some day, so you may as well know now.” And then he told me.’

‘Extraordinarily nice of him,’ said Cubitt uncomfortably, and he added: ‘Damn! I wish you hadn’t told me.’

‘Why on earth?’

‘I don’t know. I enjoy discussing Luke and now I’ll feel he’s sort of sacrosanct. Oh well, he’ll probably outlive both of us.’

‘He’s a good bit older than I am,’ said Parish. ‘Not, I mean, that I don’t hope with all my heart he will. I mean – as far as I’m concerned –’

‘Don’t labour it, Seb,’ said Cubitt kindly. ‘I should think Luke will certainly survive me. He’s strong as a horse and I’m not. You’ll probably come in for the packet.’

‘I hate talking about it like that.’

Parish knocked his pipe out on a stone. Cubitt noticed that he was rather red in the face.

‘As a matter of fact,’ he muttered, ‘it’s rather awkward.’

‘Why?’

‘Well I’m plaguilly hard up at the moment and I’d been wondering –’

‘If Luke would come to the rescue?’ Parish was silent.

‘And in the light of this revelation,’ Cubitt added, ‘you don’t quite like to ask. Poor Seb! But what the devil do you do with your money? You ought to be rolling. You’re always in work. This play you’re in now is a record run, isn’t it, and your salary must be superb.’

‘That’s all jolly fine, old man, but you don’t know what it’s like in the business. My expenses are simply ghastly.’

‘Why?’

‘Why, because you’ve got to keep up a standard. Look at my house. It’s ruinous, but I’ve got to be able to ask the people that count to a place they’ll accept and, if possible, remember. You’ve got to look prosperous in this game, and you’ve got to entertain. My agent’s fees are hellish. My clubs cost the earth. And like a blasted fool I backed a show that flopped for thousands last May.’

‘What did you do that for?’

‘The management are friends of mine. It looked all right.’

‘You give money away, Seb, don’t you? I mean literally. To out-of-luck actors? Old-timers and so on?’

‘I may. Always think “there but for the grace of God!” It’s such a damn’ chancy business.’

‘Yes. No more chancy than painting, my lad.’

‘You don’t have to show so well if you’re an artist. People expect you to live in a peculiar way.’

Cubitt looked at him, but said nothing.

Parish went on defensively: ‘I’m sorry, but you know what I mean. People expect painters to be Bohemians and all that.’

‘There was a time,’ said Cubitt, ‘when actors were content to be Bohemians, whatever that may mean. I never know. As far as I am concerned it means going without things you want.’

‘But your pictures sell.’

‘On an average I sell six pictures a year. Their prices range from twenty pounds to two hundred. It usually works out at about four hundred. You earn that in as many weeks, don’t you?’

‘Yes, but –’

‘Oh, I’m not grumbling. I’ve got a bit of my own and I could make more, I dare say, if I took pupils or had a shot at commercial art. I’ve suited myself and it’s worked out well enough until –’

‘Until what?’ asked Parish.

‘Nothing. Let’s get on with the work, shall we? The light’s no good after about eleven.’

Parish walked back to the rock and took up his pose. The light wind whipped his black hair from his forehead. He raised his chin and stared out over the sea. He assumed an expression of brooding dominance.

‘That right?’ he asked.

‘Pretty well. You only want a pair of tarnished epaulettes and we could call it “Elba.”’

‘I’ve always thought I’d like to play Napoleon.’

‘A fat lot you know about Napoleon.’

Parish grinned tranquilly.

‘Anyway,’ he said, ‘I’d read him up a bit if I had to. As a matter of fact Luke looks rather like him.’

‘The shoulders should come round,’ said Cubitt. ‘That’s more like it. Yes, Luke is rather the type.’

He painted for a minute or two in silence, and then Parish suddenly laughed.