Death and the Dancing Footman

‘How do you know?’

‘Her manner was perfectly calm. How long ago was this affair?’

‘About twenty-five years.’

‘And you were young Doktor Franz Hartz, of Vienna? Did you not wear a beard and moustache then? Yes. And you were slim in those days. Of course she did not recognize you.’

‘Franz Hartz and Francis Hart; it is not such a difference. They all know I am a naturalized Austrian, and a plastic surgeon. I cannot face it. I shall speak, now, to Royal. I shall say I must return urgently to a case –’

‘And by this behaviour invite her suspicion. Nonsense, my friend. You will remain and make yourself charming to Mrs Compline and, if she now suspects, she will say to herself: “I was mistaken. He could never have faced me.” Come now,’ said Madame Lisse, drawing his face down to hers, ‘you will keep your head, Francis, and perhaps tomorrow, who knows, you will have played your part so admirably, that we shall change places.’

‘What do you mean?’

Madame Lisse laughed softly. ‘I may be jealous of Mrs Compline,’ she said. ‘No, no, you are disarranging my hair. Go and change and forget your anxiety.’

Dr Hart moved to the door and paused. ‘Elise,’ he said, ‘suppose this was planned.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Suppose Jonathan Royal knew. Suppose he deliberately brought about this encounter.’

‘What next! Why in the world should he do such a thing?’

‘There is something mischievous about him.’

‘Nonsense,’ she said. ‘Go and change.’

IV

‘Hersey. I want to speak to you.’

From inside the voluminous folds of the dress she was hauling over her head Hersey said: ‘Sandra, darling, come in. I’m longing for a gossip with you. Wait a jiffy. Sit down.’ She tugged at the dress and her head, firmly tied up in a strong net, came out at the top. For a moment she stood and stared at her friend. That face, so painfully suggestive of an image in some distorting mirror, was the colour of parchment. The lips held their enforced travesty of a smile, but they trembled and the large eyes were blurred by tears.

‘Sandra, my dear, what is it?’ cried Hersey.

‘I can’t stay here. I want you to help me. I’ve got to get away from this house.’

‘Sandra! But why?’ Hersey knelt by Mrs Compline. ‘You’re not thinking of the gossip about Nick and The Pirate? blast her eyes.’

‘What gossip? I don’t know what you mean? What about Nicholas?’

‘It doesn’t matter. Nothing. Tell me what’s happened.’ Hersey took Mrs Compline’s hands between her own, and, feeling them writhe together in her grasp, was visited by an idea that the distress which Mrs Compline’s face was incapable of expressing had flowed into these struggling hands. ‘What’s happened?’ Hersey repeated.

‘Hersey, that man, Jonathan’s new friend. I can’t meet him again.’

‘Aubrey Mandrake?’

‘No, no. The other.’

‘Dr Hart?’

‘I can’t meet him.’

‘But why?’

‘Don’t look at me. I know it’s foolish of me, Hersey, but I can’t tell you if you look at me. Please go on dressing and let me tell you.’

Hersey returned to the dressing-table, and presently Mrs Compline began to speak. The thin, exhausted voice, now well controlled, lent no colour to the story of despoiled beauty. It trailed dispassionately through her husband’s infidelities, her own despair, her journey to Vienna, and her return. And Hersey, while she listened, absently made up her own face, took off her net, and arranged her hair. When it was over she turned towards Mrs Compline, but came no nearer to her.

‘But can you be sure?’ she said.

‘It was his voice. When I heard of him first, practising in Great Chipping, I wondered. I said so to Deacon, my maid. She was with me that time in Vienna.’

‘It was over twenty years ago, Sandra. And his name –’

‘He must have changed it when he became naturalized.’

‘Does he look at all as he did then?’

‘No. He has changed very much.’

‘Then –’

‘I am not positive, but I am almost positive. I can’t face it, Hersey, can I?’

‘I think you can,’ said Hersey, ‘and I think you will.’

V

Jonathan stood in front of a blazing fire in the drawing room. Brocaded curtains hung motionless before the windows, the room glowed with reflected light and, but for the cheerful hiss and crackle of burning logs, was silent. The night outside was silent too, but every now and then Jonathan heard a momentary sighing as if the very person of the North Wind explored the outer walls of Highfold. Presently one of the shutters knocked softly at its frame and then the brocaded curtains stirred a little, and Jonathan looked up expectantly. A door at the far end of the room opened and Hersey Amblington came in.

‘Hersey, how magnificent! You have dressed to please me, I believe. I have a passion for dull green and furs. Charming of you, my dear.’

‘You won’t think me so charming when you hear what I’ve got to say,’ Hersey rejoined. ‘I’ve got a bone to pick with you, Jo.’

‘What an alarming phrase that is,’ said Jonathan. ‘Will you have a drink?’

‘No, thank you. Sandra Compline has been threatening to go home.’

‘Indeed? That’s vexing. I hope you dissuaded her?’

‘Yes. I did.’

‘Splendid. I’m so grateful. It would have quite spoiled my party.’

‘I told her not to give you the satisfaction of knowing you had scored.’

‘Now, that really is unfair,’ cried Jonathan.

‘No, it’s not. Look here, did you know about Sandra and your whey-faced boy-friend?’

‘Mandrake?’

‘Now, Jo, none of that nonsense. Sandra confides in her maid, and she tells me the maid is bosom friends with your Mrs Pouting. You’ve listened to servants’ gossip, Jo. You’ve heard that Sandra thought this Hart man might be the Dr Hartz who made that appalling mess of her face.’

‘I only wondered. It would be an intriguing coincidence.’

‘I’m ashamed of you, and I’m furious with you on my own account. Forcing me to be civil to that blasted German.’

‘Is she a German?’

‘Whatever she is, she’s a dirty fighter. I’ve heard on excellent authority she’s started a rumour that my Magnolia Food Base grows beards. But never mind about that. I can look after myself.’

‘Darling Hersey! If only you had allowed me to perform that delightful office!’

‘It’s the cruel trick you’ve played on Sandra that horrifies me. You’ve always been the same, Jo. You’ve a passion for intrigue, wedded to an unholy curiosity. You lay your plans, and when they work out and people are hurt or angry, nobody is more sorry or surprised than you. It’s a sort of blind patch in your character.’

‘Was that why you refused me, Hersey, all those years ago?’

Hersey caught her breath, and for a moment was silent.

‘Not that I agree with you, you know,’ said Jonathan. ‘One of my objectives is a lavish burial of hatchets. I hope great things of this weekend.’

‘Do you expect the Compline brothers to become reconciled because you have given Nicholas an opportunity to do his barn-yard strut before Chloris Wynne? Do you suppose Hart, who is obviously in love with The Pirate, will welcome the same performance with her, or that The Pirate and I will wander up and down your house with our arms round each other’s waists, or that Sandra Compline will invite Hart to have another cut at her face? You’re not a fool, Jo.’

‘I had hoped for your co-operation,’ said Jonathan wistfully.

‘Mine!’

‘Well, darling, to a certain extent I’ve had it. You made a marvellous recovery from your own encounter with Madame Lisse, and you tell me you’ve persuaded Sandra to stay.’

‘Only because I felt it was better for her to face it.’

‘Don’t you think it may be better for all of us to face our secret bogey-men? Hersey, I’ve collected a group of people each one of whom is in a great or small degree hag-ridden by a fear. Even Aubrey Mandrake has his little bogey-man.’

‘The poetic dramatist? What have you nosed out from his past?’

‘Do you really want to know?’

‘No,’ said Hersey, turning pink.

‘You are sitting beside him at dinner. Say, in these exact words, that you understand he has given up footling, and see what sort of response you get.’

‘Why should I use this loathsome phrase to Mr Mandrake?’

‘Why, simply because, although you won’t admit it, darling, you have your share of the family failing – curiosity.’

‘I don’t admit it. And I won’t do it.’

Jonathan chuckled. ‘It is an amusing notion. I shall make the same suggestion to Nicholas. I believe it would appeal to him. To return to our cast of characters. Each of them, Sandra Compline to an extreme degree, has pushed his or her fear into a cupboard. Chloris is afraid of her old attraction to Nicholas, William is afraid of Nicholas’s fascination for Chloris and for his mother, Hart is afraid of Nicholas’s fascination for Madame Lisse, Sandra is afraid of a terrible incident in her past, Madame Lisse, though I must say she does not reveal her fear, is perhaps a little afraid of both Hart and Nicholas. You, my dearest, fear the future. If Nicholas has a fear it is that he may lose prestige, and that is a terrible fear.’

‘And you, Jo?’

‘I am the compère. Part of my business is to unlock the cupboards and show the fears to be less terrible in the light of day.’

‘And you have no bogey-man of your own?’

‘Oh, yes, I have,’ said Jonathan, and the light gleamed on his spectacles. ‘His name is Boredom.’

‘And therein am I answered,’ said Hersey.

CHAPTER 4

Threat

I

While he was dressing, Mandrake had wondered how Jonathan would place his party at dinner. He actually tried to work out, on several sheets of Highfold notepaper, a plan that would keep apart the most bitterly antagonistic of the guests. He found the task beyond him. The warring elements could be separated, but any such arrangement seemed only to emphasize friendships that were in themselves infuriating to one or another of the guests. It did not enter his head that Jonathan, with reckless bravado, would choose the most aggravating and provocative arrangement possible. But this was what he did. The long dining-table had been replaced by a round one. Madame Lisse sat between Jonathan and Nicholas, Chloris between Nicholas and William. Sandra Compline was on Jonathan’s right, and had Dr Hart for her other partner. Hersey Amblington was next to Dr Hart, and Mandrake himself, the odd man, sat between Hersey and William. From the moment when they found their places it was obvious to Mandrake that the success of the dinner-party was most endangered by Mrs Compline and Dr Hart. These two had been the last to arrive, Mrs Compline appearing after Caper had announced dinner. Both were extremely pale and, when they found their place-cards, seemed to flinch all over: ‘Like agitated horses,’ thought Mandrake. When they were all seated, Dr Hart darted a strange glance across the table at Madame Lisse. She looked steadily at him for a moment. Jonathan was talking to Mrs Compline; Dr Hart, with an obvious effort, turned to Hersey Amblington. Nicholas, who had the air of a professional diner-out, embarked upon a series of phrases directed equally, Mandrake thought, at Madame Lisse and Chloris Wynne. They were empty little phrases, but Nicholas delivered them with many inclinations of his head, this way and that, with archly masculine glances, punctual shouts of laughter, and frequent movements of his hand to his blond moustache. ‘In the nineties,’ Mandrake thought, ‘Nicholas would have been known as a masher. There is no modern word to describe his gallantries.’ They were successful gallantries, however, for both Chloris and Madame Lisse began to look alert and sleek. William preserved a mulish silence, and Dr Hart, while he spoke to Hersey, glanced from time to time at Madame Lisse.

Evidently Jonathan had chosen a round table with the object of keeping the conversation general, and in this project he was successful. However angry Hersey may have been with her cousin, she must have decided to pull her weight in the rôle of hostess for which he had obviously cast her. Mandrake, Madame Lisse, and Nicholas all did their share, and presently there appeared a kind of gaiety at the table. ‘It’s merely going to turn into a party that is precariously successful in the teeth of extraordinary obstacles,’ Mandrake told himself. ‘We have made a fuss about nothing.’ But this opinion was checked when he saw Dr Hart stare at Nicholas, when on turning to William he found him engaged in what appeared to be some whispered expostulation with Chloris, and when, turning away in discomfort, he saw Mrs Compline with shaking hands hide an infinitesimal helping under her knife and fork. He emptied his glass and gave his attention to Hersey Amblington, who seemed to be talking about him to Jonathan.

‘Mr Mandrake sniffs at my suggestion,’ Hersey was saying. ‘Don’t you, Mr Mandrake?’

‘Do I?’ Mandrake rejoined uneasily. ‘What suggestion, Lady Hersey?’

‘There! He hasn’t even heard me, Jo. Why, the suggestion I made before dinner for a surrealist play.’

Before Mandrake could find an answer Nicholas Compline suddenly struck into the conversation.

‘You mustn’t be flippant with Mr Mandrake, Hersey,’ he said. ‘He’s looking very austere. I’m sure he’s long ago given up footling.’

Mandrake experienced the sensation of a violent descent in some abandoned lift. His inside seemed to turn over, and the tips of his fingers went cold. ‘God!’ he thought. ‘They know. In a moment they will speak playfully of Dulwich.’ And he sat with his fork held in suspended animation, halfway to his mouth. ‘This atrocious woman,’ he thought, ‘this atrocious woman. This loathsome, grinning young man.’ He turned to Hersey and found her staring at him with an expression that he interpreted as knowing. Mandrake shied away and, looking wildly round the table, encountered the thick-lensed glasses of his host. Jonathan’s lips were pursed, and in the faint creases at the corners of his mouth Mandrake read complacency and amusement. ‘So that’s it,’ thought Mandrake furiously. ‘He knows and he’s told them. It’s the sort of thing that would delight him. My vulnerable spot. He’s having a tweak at it, and he and his cousin and his bloody friend will laugh delicately and tell each other they were very naughty with poor Mr Stanley Footling.’ But Jonathan was speaking to him, gently carrying forward the theme of Hersey’s suggestion for a play.

‘I have noticed, Aubrey, that the layman is always eager to provide the artist with ideas. Do you imagine, Hersey darling, that Aubrey is a sort of æsthetic scavenger?’

‘But mine was such a good idea.’

‘You must excuse her, Aubrey. No sense of proportion, I’m afraid, poor woman.’

‘Mr Mandrake does excuse me,’ said Hersey, and her smile held such a warmth of friendliness that it dispelled Mandrake’s panic. ‘I was mistaken,’ he thought. ‘Another false alarm. Why must I be so absurdly sensitive? Other people have changed their names without experiencing these terrors.’ The relief was so great that for a time he was lost in it, and heard only the gradual quieting of his own heartbeats. But presently he became aware of a lull in the general conversation. They had reached dessert. Jonathan’s voice alone was heard, and Mandrake thought that he must have been speaking for some little time.

II

‘No one person,’ Jonathan was saying, ‘is the same individual to more than one other person. That is to say, the reality of individuals is not absolute. Each individual has as many exterior realities as the number of encounters he makes.’

‘Ah,’ said Dr Hart, ‘this is a pet theory of my own. The actual “he” is known to nobody.’

‘Does the actual “he” even exist?’ Jonathan returned. ‘May it not be argued that “he” has no intrinsic reality since different selves arise out of a conglomeration of selves to meet different events?’

‘I don’t see what you mean,’ said William, with his air of worried bafflement.

‘Nor do I, William,’ said Hersey. ‘One knows how people will react to certain events, Jo. We say: “Oh, so-and-so is no go when it comes to such-and-such a situation.”’

‘My contention is that this is exactly what we do not know.’

‘But, Mr Royal,’ cried Chloris, ‘we do know. We know, for instance, that some people will refuse to listen to gossip.’

‘We know,’ said Nicholas, ‘that one man will keep his head in a crisis where another will go jitterbug. This war –’

‘Oh, don’t let’s talk about this war,’ said Chloris.

‘There are some men in my company –’ William began, but Jonathan raised his hand and William stopped short.

‘Well, I concede,’ said Jonathan, ‘that the same “he” may make so many appearances that we may gamble on his turning up under certain circumstances, but I contend that it is a gamble and that though under these familiar circumstances we may agree on the probability of certain reactions, we should quarrel about theoretical behaviour under some unforeseen, hitherto un-experienced circumstances.’

‘For example?’ asked Madame Lisse.

‘Parachute invasion –’ began William, but his mother said quickly: ‘No, William, not the war.’ It was the first time since dinner that Mandrake had heard her speak without being addressed.

‘I agree,’ said Jonathan. ‘Let us not draw our examples from the war. Let us suppose that – what shall I say –’

‘That the Archangel Gabriel popped down the chimney,’ suggested Hersey, ‘and blasted his trumpet in your ear.’

‘Or that Jonathan told us,’ said Nicholas, ‘that this was a Borgia party and the champagne was lethal and we had but twelve minutes to live.’

‘Not the Barrie touch, I implore you,’ said Mandrake, rallying a little.

‘Or,’ said Jonathan, peering into the shadows beyond the candle-lit table, ‘that my new footman, who is not present at the moment, suddenly developed homicidal mania and was possessed of a lethal weapon. Let us, at any rate, suppose ourselves shut up with some great and impending menace.’ He paused, and for a moment complete silence fell upon the company.

The new footman returned. He and Caper moved round the table again. ‘So he’s keeping the champagne going,’ thought Mandrake, ‘in case the women won’t have brandy or liqueurs. Caper’s being very judicious. Nobody’s tight, unless it’s William or Hart. I’m not sure of them. Everybody else is nicely, thank you.’

‘Well,’ said Jonathan, ‘under some such disastrous circumstance, how does each of you believe I would behave? Come now, I assure you I shan’t cavil at the strictest censure. Sandra, what do you think I would do?’

Mrs Compline raised her disfigured face. ‘What you would do?’ she repeated. ‘I think you would talk, Jonathan.’ And for the first time that evening there was a burst of spontaneous laughter. Jonathan uttered his high-pitched giggle.

‘Touché,’ he said. ‘And you, Madame Lisse?’

‘I believe that for perhaps the first time in your life you would lose your temper, Mr Royal.’

‘Nick?’

‘I don’t know. I think –’

‘Come on, now, Nick. You can’t insult me. Fill Mr Compline’s glass, Caper. Now, Nick?’

‘I think you might be rather flattened out.’

‘I don’t agree,’ said Chloris quickly. ‘I think he’d take us all in hand and tell us what to do.’

‘William?’

‘What? Oh, ring up the police, I suppose,’ said William, and he added in a vague mumble only heard by Mandrake: ‘Or you might go mad, of course.’

‘I believe he would enjoy himself,’ said Mandrake quickly.

‘I agree,’ said Hersey, to Mandrake’s surprise.

‘And Dr Hart?’

‘In a measure, I too agree. I think that you would be enormously interested in the behaviour of your guests.’

‘You see?’ said Jonathan in high glee. ‘Am I not right? So many Jonathan Royals. Now shall we go further. Shall we agree to discuss our impressions of each other, and to keep our tempers as we do so? Come now.’

‘How clever of Jonathan,’ thought Mandrake, sipping his brandy. ‘Nothing interests people so much as the discussion of their own characters. His invitation may be dangerous, but at least it will make them talk.’ And talk they did. Mrs Compline believed that Nicholas would suffer from extreme sensibility, but would show courage and resource. Nicholas, prompted, as Mandrake considered, by a subconscious memory of protective motherhood, thought his mother would console and shelter. William, while agreeing with Nicholas about their mother, hinted that Nicholas himself would shift his responsibilities. Chloris Wynne, rather defiantly, supported William. She suggested that William himself would show up very well in a crisis, and her glance at Nicholas and at Mrs Compline seemed to say that they would resent his qualities. Mandrake, nursing his brandy-glass, presently felt his brain clear, miraculously. He would speak to these people in rhythmic, perfectly chosen phrases, and what he said would be of enormous importance. He heard his own voice telling them that Nicholas, in the event of a crisis, would treat them to a display of pyrotechnics, and that two women would applaud him and one man deride. ‘But the third woman,’ said Mandrake solemnly, as he stared at Madame Lisse, ‘must remain a shadowed figure. I shall write a play about her. Dear me, I am afraid I must be a little drunk.’ He looked anxiously round, only to discover that nobody had been listening to him, and he suddenly realized that he had made his marvellous speech in a whisper. This discovery sobered him. He decided to take no more of Jonathan’s brandy.

III

Jonathan did not keep the men long in the dining room, and Mandrake, who had taken stock of himself and had decided that he would do very well if he was careful, considered that his host had judged the drinks nicely as far as he and the Complines were concerned, but that in the case of Dr Hart, Jonathan had been over-generous. Dr Hart was extremely pale, there were dents in his nostrils and a smile on his lips. He was silent and fixed his gaze, which seemed a little out of focus, on Nicholas Compline. Nicholas was noisily cheerful. He moved his chair up to William’s, and subjected his brother to a kind of banter that made Mandrake shudder and cause William to become silent and gloomy. Jonathan caught Mandrake’s eye and suggested that they should move to the drawing room.

‘By all means,’ said Nicholas. ‘Here’s old Bill as silent as the grave, Jonathan, longing for his love. And Dr Hart not much better, though whether it’s from the same cause or not we mustn’t ask.’

‘You are right,’ said Dr Hart thickly. ‘It would not be amusing to ask such a question.’

‘Come along, come along,’ said Jonathan quickly, and opened the door. Mandrake hurriedly joined him, and William followed. At the door Mandrake turned and looked back. Nicholas was still in his chair. His hands rested on the table, he leant back and smiled at Dr Hart, who had risen and was leaning heavily forward. Mandrake was irresistibly reminded of an Edwardian problem picture. It was a subject for the Hon. John Collier. There was the array of glasses, each with its highlight and reflection, there was the gloss of mahogany, of boiled shirt-fronts, of brass buttons. There was Dr Hart’s face, so violently expressive of some conjectural emotion, and Nicholas’s, flushed, and wearing a sneer that dated perfectly with the Hon. John’s period: all this unctuously lit by the candles on Jonathan’s table. ‘The title,’ thought Mandrake, ‘would be “The Insult.”’