From the city of angels to the land of fire. Danny Beer, gringo on tour

To Tuxtla.: Bad bus driver. Naughty, naughty, naughty

Sunday September 23, 2007, 126 km (78 miles) – Total so far: 4,609 km (2,864 miles)

Is it just you or is the traffic today noticeably more aggressive? You leave Sofia at the hotel and continue on. Apparently there is a lot of uphill ahead and she would rather take the bus from the next town. There are a couple of ascents but nothing longer than six or seven kilometers. Cintalapa and Ocozocoautla are both decent sized towns with a few accommodations options in each. You stop at a campsite/restaurant with a pool just before Cintalapa. Three teenage boys approach as you near the restaurant. They aren’t intimidating but their idiotic attitude loses the place business. Why would you want to eat at a place with three guys staring at you at laughing about English. They’re probably trying to be helpful. But you don’t need nor want them around. You leave and eat elsewhere.

You get to Ocozocoautla, the day’s destination and are lured in by some hotcakes. With three more hours of daylight left you should be able to make the 36 km to Tuxla. Only six km of it is uphill apparently. It’s the first six. You come to a crossroads. There aren’t any signs so you ask a guy for directions. He is able to point in 180 degrees at once. You cross the road and ask some women but they keep walking before you can get an answer. Fortunately there is a sign across the road so you go there to get your information.

From here a nice wide shoulder is available all the way in to Tuxla. A truck and then a bus prefer to drive on the shoulder rather than their lane, passing way too close. The bus is particularly bad as it overtakes as you fly downhill giving you a long moment of uncertain exhilaration. Do bus drivers do this on purpose?

San Christobel.: All uphill

Tuesday September 25, 2007, 69 km (43 miles) – Total so far: 4,678 km (2,907 miles)

The first ten km out of Tuxla is pretty much downhill. Your front gears have broken so you detour off the main artery to find a bike shop. Easily fixed if you know what you are doing. Hell if you don’t.

Back on the freeway it is forty km straight up to San Christobel. Up and up you go. It rains. You get wet. Traffic often use the shoulder as an extra lane. A few cars pass marginally close leaving you cursing behind. Eventually your legs give out and you can no longer ride the ascent. You walk.

You reach the summit, cold and wet. Changing gears you almost ride straight into a great big hole built into the shoulder. The same shoulder you are riding on. More of these holes appear as you ride the last few km downhill and into town. It is right on dark and you have no more energy left.

But where exactly is the town? You ask directions a few times and find your way to the hostel. A hot shower and a few cold beers make a nice evening in.

Comitan.: Nice ride down

Friday September 28, 2007, 92 km (57 miles) – Total so far: 4,770 km (2,964 miles)

You spend three days in San Christobel. The first is spent at a nearby Zapata village. It is interesting in a way with the rebels. The ride to and fro isn’t so nice making you feel really sick. The second day is spent going to the ruins of Palenque. The ruins are nice but the bus ride there, including a six AM start. On the third day you find a bike shop and finally sort out your rims. About time too. In order to fit it all on they have to put new rear gears on. So now you have six rear gears instead of eight.

You don’t leave San Christobel until late. You feel sick for most of the ride to Comitan. There are two significant descents with a nice long ascent in between. After the first descent you find a town. You hope for a restaurant soon after but none are to be found for another fifty km and you don’t eat at all until dinner.

On the ascent dark clouds turn to rain. It passes before the pass and the day turns sunny once more. Comitan is a nice town. You find Sofia, get some food and look for a place to stay.

To Guatemala.: Dodgy border town

Saturday September 29, 2007, 89 km (55 miles) – Total so far: 4,859 km (3,019 miles)

It is a nice mostly downhill day. You make the same mistake as yesterday with lunch. For forty km there is pretty much nothing to eat. You stop at one place but their dog tries to bite your fingers off. Time to move on. You stop for a hamburgesa and wait for Sofia to catch up.

As soon as you get over one illness you get another. You never felt okay in San Christobel. And now after only being better for a couple days you are sick again. It must have been that hamburger you ate.

The last four km to the Guatemalan border are painful. You know you are close when rubbish is littered about. After border formalities you cross over. Well, under the barrier technically. It is on dark. This is a rugged border town. Sofia wants to find a hotel and lock the door. You find a nice hotel and book in. The price is about twenty US when Sofia asks but when you return soon after the price is higher. So send Sofia back in to sort it out.

Welcome to Guatemala.

To a town.: It has a name, maybe

Sunday September 30, 2007, 51 km (32 miles) – Total so far: 4,910 km (3,051 miles)

You awake late, finally hauling yourself out of bed to get breakfast. But back in the room a movie on TV seems so much easier than the ascent ahead. You feel weak. You feel sick. The climb is draining on your legs.

Guatemala is a little like Mexico but rougher around the edges. The people look poorer but culturally richer. Lot’s of holas and bye byes. There are a couple nice descents early on but after that the road just climbs. It’s not steep but together with you being ill and all it’s not nice.

There is a hotel ten km further on. Except there isn’t one. Seven km. One km. Three km. And a hotel. It rains hard. That’s enough for one day. Sure, you didn’t break any records but enough is enough. Besides, it’s dark and apparently a bit dangerous around here.

Huahuatenengo.: The world of Maya

Monday October 1, 2007, 39 km (24 miles) – Total so far: 4,949 km (3,075 miles)

The road continues climbing. You still feel sick but by dinner feel somewhat better. An easy day really today. Sofia begins a good start to the day by locking herself in the toilet at the restaurant. Perhaps you should have realized sooner if only you weren’t so busy chatting to the kids. Some more nice scenery and lots of Maya present the day. A few people shout out gringo at you and Sofia gets a few suggestive remarks but nothing too serious. You head into Huahuatenengo and find the city centre. A hot shower and hot food sure are good. Tomorrow may be a long day so best rest up.

Up the road.: Camping behind a church

Tuesday October 2, 2007, 46 km (29 miles) – Total so far: 4,995 km (3,104 miles)

You awake late once again meaning that today is another short day on the bikes. And it is mostly uphill. Nobody around here says hello or hola. It is always bye bye or adios. It’s not unfriendly or anything. That’s just how the locals do it.

With about an hour of daylight left you are reduced to walking your bike. Theoretically a hotel exists just ten km further. But Guatemalans, like their Mexican counterparts, have no concept of distance.

You spot a church and on Sofia’s insistence camp behind there for the night. You try to find the pastor to ask but he’s not about. There is a shop nearby. They close at six-thirty. But when you return to buy some things they have already closed. Two more shops exist further up and you can buy some junk food there. Of your three nights so far in Guatemala, you have had two cheetos dinners

Xela.: Bad, bad truck driver

Wednesday October 3, 2007, 48 km (30 miles) – Total so far: 5,043 km (3,134 miles)

It is another fourteen km to the promised hotel. Uphill. Traffic is unfriendly today. From unfriendly it becomes hellish. The same truck almost hits both you and Sofia. With fourteen km to go you turn off to Xela, (Quentanengo). The town looks nice. Just need to go out and see it.

Nahuala.: An interesting little Mayan town

Thursday October 4, 2007, 46 km (29 miles) – Total so far: 5,089 km (3,162 miles)

Traffic today is murderous. Those chicken buses must get to where ever it is they go as fast as possible and no cyclist is going to slow them down. Two trucks run you off the road early on. There are a few sections of roadwork in place. This congests the traffic all together to try to overtake you all at once in a dense cloud of smoke while at other times the road is positively empty.

After fourteen km you get back on the InterAmericana. Then it is a mostly uphill twenty km before another ten km straight back down again. You miss the turnoff to the town of Nahuala and so approach from the other side. There are two hospodojes in town. You book into one. It’s not the Ritz but better here than out in the cold.

Nahuala is an interesting town. It is very Maya which is nice but it is also quite gritty. But nice and authentic all the same.

San Pedro.: Damn hotel tout

Friday October 5, 2007, 40 km (25 miles) – Total so far: 5,129 km (3,187 miles)

There’s some more road works today. There is supposed to be a turnoff onto a minor road to lago to Atitlan but you miss it. You take the main road to the lake, through Solola and onto Panajachel where a boat awaits to take you to San Pedro.

The boat is not nice. You both get seasick while still in port. Then, because you sit at the front, are thrown up and hard back down on the seat every few seconds for the next half hour until you get to the other side.

In San Pedro some guy wants to take you to ‘his’ hotel. In reality he is just a tout, soon becoming a pain in the arse. You go to a different hotel but it doesn’t matter where you go, he still wants his commission. You tell the manager that he has now lost two clients because of this guy and go elsewhere on recommendation on passing tourists.

And now it is Friday night. Enjoy.

Some tenengro town.: Wicked ride in the back of a pick up.

Sunday October 14, 2007, 25 km (16 miles) – Total so far: 5,154 km (3,203 miles)

After a week in San Pedro staying with a local family and learning Spanish it’s time to move on. You meet up with Sofia again in Panajachel. She will stay there one more day while you go on ahead.

You load the bike onto a chicken bus and ride it all uphill back to the InterAmericana highway. It’s a real bitch getting the bike back down again. To load it onto the bus you lift it up to a guy half way up the ladder, then scramble up to the top of the bus for him to pass it back up to you. Unloading the bike the guy hands you the bike in one hand while you try to climb back down using only your left hand to hold the ladder. Tricky.

You get about twenty five km before the bike fucks up. It’s the cogs on the rear gear system. It broke off at the axle area and bent up good and proper. It takes all of two seconds to thumb a ride. A pickup stops and you jump in the back. The ride is rough for a while then the road is nice. It is scary. At least on a rollercoaster you know you will step off in the end. On the back of a pickup you don’t. Twice the driver has to brake suddenly to avoid a chicken bus when overtaking other traffic.

But you make it out okay in the end. It is Sunday so the bike shops are shut. Tomorrow morning you will sort it all out.

Some guy befriends you. You ask where a hotel is and he directs you. Then he asks for a quonzali for his tummy. You relent, giving him one. He then takes you to the hotel though the directions are enough. With the hotel in sight he then asks for two quonzalis, again making signs that he is hungry. You give him one more but he wants another again. Two is enough. The hotel is a bit expensive for what it is so you don’t stay there anyway. Soon another place is found and you settle in for the evening.

Antigua.: Another easy day

Monday October 15, 2007, 20 km (12 miles) – Total so far: 5,174 km (3,215 miles)

After a leisurely breakfast you go in search of a bike shop. No decent ones are to be found but one place does do the job well enough. In the process of fitting the new gears on he breaks the gear shifter. So a new one of those needs to be fitted also. But for nine US you do well enough.

And away you go. It’s about twenty km to Antigua. There are no signs so you need to ask directions all the time. You stop for lunch and it is just as well too as you need to turn off right there anyway. That saves a detour. You begin to feel that you went the wrong way there. This is all but confirmed when a sign points left to Chinantenango, the town you just came from.

Antigua is very touristy. But why? There doesn’t seem to be much special going on. On the other hand there isn’t anything bad about it either. Not sure where the Chileana is. She will probably get here tomorrow. Lots of different options to discuss. Tomorrow may involve a volcano tour. But six AM sure is an early time to leave.

Guat. city.: It’s not so bad

Wednesday October 17, 2007, 50 km (31 miles) – Total so far: 5,224 km (3,246 miles)

Antigua is alright. As warned it is heavily tourisised. You do a tour of Papaya volcano which is pretty cool. Well, hot actually.

Sofia wants to watch a soccer game. It’s on at four so you should easily make the fifty km to Guat. City. After a pretty interesting night out you meet Sofia for breakfast. You walk the bikes over the cobbled streets out of town. Just before the edge of town you look back. Where’s Sofia? She was right behind you. And you told her the directions. Go straight.

You wait five minutes and Sofia appears out of a side street. And away you go. Up hill. It’s not steep and isn’t very far up but you soon leave Sofia behind. You take a break at a service station keeping a lookout for Sofia. You ask the people working there if they saw her go past. No, no, they confirm. And then, when you ask again, yes, she went past five minutes ago.

You speed off in hope of catching her. Fast up hill and fast down hill you go, confident in catching her eventually. But you don’t. You ask some people coming into town. No one has seen her. So where is she? You pass a market, making perfect timing to wait for Sofia. After all, she must be behind you. But still no Sofia. You move on. There’s a turnoff to the centro. You wait there for her. And there she is. Lucky she sees you ‘cause you sure miss seeing her. Boy is she pissed though.

You make your way into the centre, find a hostel and then a bar for the soccer game. Then you leave the Chilena to watch her game while you do some shopping. As evening descends the town shows some of its character. Sure, its not the prettiest of places. But it’s nice.

El Rancho.: Leaving town

Thursday October 18, 2007, 84 km (52 miles) – Total so far: 5,308 km (3,298 miles)

Traffic out of Guat. City is pretty heavy but you manage all the same. Signs are scarce. It is mostly downhill to El Rancho with one or two notable exceptions. They are doing some maintenance just out of town. Half a tree is dropped onto the road just after a guy waves you through. Elsewhere a guy almost gets himself run over as he darts in front of you.

Sofia heads in front and once again you lose her. She never was too far behind though. Some local guy rides along with you for a while. It rains hard. Then the thunder and lightning come. You stop for a bite to eat and Sofia soon catches up. And then it’s another four km to the next hotel. And boy is it shite. But it’s on dark now and the traffic is worse than ever, not to mention the rain, so it might just be best to stay here tonight.

To Chiquimula.: Don’t take the room if he won’t let you see it first

Friday October 19, 2007, 85 km (53 miles) – Total so far: 5,393 km (3,351 miles)

Lots of ascending today, especially for the last leg towards Chiquimula. The route 9 towards the Atlantic has a nice shoulder for most of the time. You stop for lunch at your favourite pollo and telepizza restaurant chain. But your burger is cold. You send it back and they reheat it. You send it back again and they give you another one, also cold. You don’t leave a tip. Tomorrow is the start of the tour de Guatemala. You see a van loaded with racing bikes. They pull up along side and hand you each a bottle of energy drink.

You get a flat. Sofia continues on. The plan is to meet up again beside the road at Chiquimula. But you don’t see her and you each spend some time in town looking for each other.

And then you find her. You find a cheap hotel but the guy won’t let you look at the room. “Why should I waste my time showing you the room if you won’t take it? He says, in Spanish. You’ve been in this situation before. Best not to take it. You go elsewhere.

Welcome to Honduras.: To Copan

Saturday October 20, 2007, 80 km (50 miles) – Total so far: 5,473 km (3,401 miles)

For the first five km on route 10 you enjoy lots of applause from people along the road. Today is the first day of the Guatemalan cycling race and you are the first cyclists they see. You could almost be convincing if only you were headed in the right direction.

There are a lot of ascents and descents to Copan Ruinus. But seemingly more ascents. As usual in Guatemala many kids shout “Gringo’ at you and make weird noises to catch your attention.

Eventually you reach the border, pay the bribes to exit one country and enter another and off you go. You’re in Honduras baby. Just one more climb and one descent to go and into town you are. Now, where’s Sofia? Perhaps you shouldn’t have left her behind. Oh well, four times in four days you’ve played this game. You find each other in the end. And you do. But she isn’t happy so best just let her be for now.

Back into Guatemala.: A crowded minivan

Monday October 22, 2007, 24 km (15 miles) – Total so far: 5,497 km (3,416 miles)

Yesterday you saw the ruins of Copan. They were interesting and all but with all the hype generated they were a bit of a let down. Still, you got your requisite photos. Tensions remain high between your comrade and yourself and don’t really settle down again until today. Will you go your separate ways? Is enough enough? Not yet apparently. You both still get something out of this relationship. Aren’t you? Perhaps you’ve been alone for too long. You don’t know how to relate to other people anymore.

You get a lift in a pickup the ten km to the border for five Americanos. Then across the other side for little more than the same amount you get a minivan the forty km to Vadu Hondo back on route 10. Everything is fine. The van is at most half full. Then, with only maybe ten km to go you pull into a town and change vans. You jump on the top of one van and help lift the bikes over. Then you all cram into the overflowing van for the rest of the journey. As overflowing as it is there is always room to cram one more in, which they do.

Finally out of the van you cycle the twenty km into town. It is still early and you’ve spent barely two hours on the bikes but you’ll call it a day. Only twenty km till the border. El Salvador awaits.

Welcome to El Salvador.: To Santa Ana

Tuesday October 23, 2007, 97 km (60 miles) – Total so far: 5,594 km (3,476 miles)

For once you get an early start on the day. But there’s no beating that heat. It’s another 33 km until the border. And..

Welcome to El Salvador!!!

An early afternoon downpour coincides with lunch. And off you go again. Most of the way on this side of the border is downhill. The roads are good here and there is a nice shoulder to enjoy.

At last Santa Ana comes into view. Dark clouds, well, darken the sky. You find a cheap place to stay mere moments before they open up. Heavy rain and thunder is heard. Maybe stay in for a little while. You have an 8:30 curfew tonight. But why?

San Salvador.: A lift up.

Wednesday October 24, 2007, 65 km (40 miles) – Total so far: 5,659 km (3,516 miles)

It’s not so far to San Salvador so you leave relatively late on the autopista. Out of town the road gains shoulders and for thirty odd km you enjoy a nice smooth mostly downhill ride. Then the road goes crap. Road works drag on and on and you find just how bad El Salvadorian traffic can be. Later on you grab hold of a slow moving truck on the ascent. Sure, it’s cheating but why the hell not.

Traffic in San Salvador equals that of Guat. city. It is a big adrenalin rush. Sofia doesn’t see the fun side of it.

You make your way into town to the hostel and off to find some food.

San Vicente.: Heading east

Friday October 26, 2007, 60 km (37 miles) – Total so far: 5,719 km (3,554 miles)

San Salvador is surprisingly nice to visit. The centre has a pretty cool market where seemingly anything can be bought. A couple girls say some things to you. Are they prostitutes or do they just want to sell some clothes? And why does everyone want to sell you the most ugliest clothes?

You leave Sofia in San Salvador. She wants to see a couple of things and you want to ride on. Besides, it will do you both good to spend some time apart. Traffic isn’t so bad with the notable exceptions of course.

The road is nice and gets nicer further out of town with a nice wide shoulder. Some ascents and a couple long deep descents. You get a flat. You change it easily enough but with the new rims you cannot inflate the tube. But you get by.

You leave the highway for a nice descent down to San Vicente. It is a sizable town yet only has the one restaurant. Nice.

To San Miguel.: Riding at night

Saturday October 27, 2007, 80 km (50 miles) – Total so far: 5,799 km (3,603 miles)

With the most popular bar in town a mere three metres down the corridor from your room you couldn’t help but have a few beers. And after chatting to a few guys you couldn’t help but have a few more. You are invited to stay another night for a big fiesta in town. Perhaps you should but then again you really just want to ride on. TV and wifi internet also help to waste your night away.

So you wake up late. You go to the only restaurant in town and have a look around the market. Much like San Salvador many people are over eager to show you some very ugly shirts.

You climb the hill back up to the panamericana. There are some shops to buy food there but after that is nada for a very long time. Along the road people sell a myriad of different foods. You see your very first live armadillo. Maybe. And it is yours for only ten dollars, cooked and served on a platter.

Eventually you find a restaurant but after wasting too much time waiting for your meal you waste even more time arguing over your bill. Darkness comes way too soon and you spend an hour or so riding in the dark. From here it is mostly downhill though so it’s not too bad. There are nice wide shoulders but their condition is variable so you stay on the road. You need to concentrate hard on the road. But wait, headlights coming straight at you are cause for concern. But traffic isn’t that bad and it is a nice cool evening.

You come into San Miguel. Someone drives by and offers to show you to a hotel. So you are shown to a hotel. Apparently it’s not too safe in town. So you stay in for the night. Perhaps you should have stayed in San Vicent after all.

Welcome to Honduras. Again.: To Nacaome

Sunday October 28, 2007, 95 km (59 miles) – Total so far: 5,894 km (3,662 miles)

The first order of business is to find a bike shop. Unfortunately it is Sunday and they are all closed. So you press on. It’s 58 km to the Hondouros border apparently. The road is nice. The traffic is nice enough. You have a late lunch in Santa Rosa. From there it is 30 km to the border. And the border closes at five. Better get going then.