Normally, this is how they do it: first they try to “eat” your soul, causing a powerful emotional outburst, and then they’d pull in your lifeless physical body and hide it in one of the remote corners of their world. If you won’t die right away, they will give you their energy and change your energy structure irreversibly.

Even if you find one day your crippled physical body, you would never be able to reunite with it, you will forever be a slave to these horrifying creatures”…

I’m alone again in the room at the top of a tower. The others are as always playing cards, drinking and laughing hard downstairs…

I am just overwhelmed by contradictory feelings…

First of all, of course, towards my scampish brother Arel, as always, and then towards this girl…

Heavens, how gorgeous she is! I can’t admire her beauty enough, hoping nobody notices and throwing a glimpse at her.

When she is with him I’m admiring the both of them, I’m not jealous, no, that just can’t be!

Could a girl like THIS ever be with me…

She and my brother make a beautiful couple, both tall, lean, with dark hair, only her hair is half as almost half as long as Arel’s.

Luckily, they don’t notice my glimpses. Nobody does. Who cares about Vil…

But I’m afraid for her…

I’m afraid that Arel might hurt her. She’s totally helpless in front of him and his tricks! She’s so kind and gentle. My heart was just bleeding while I watched Arel fighting her during the training. Why did he have to push her so hard! Drag her through the dirt to entertain his friends! They got their kicks watching it. I saw how a couple of times her face twisted, she could hardly hold on without showing she’s in pain, she turned pale, and Arel just went on! His cruelty has no boundaries!

Besides, I don’t like that he is lying to her, he continues his ungodly relations with Nikto, and poor Carina doesn’t know a thing. And how could such a pure creature come up with this thought. She is like an angel!

And my brother soils her, and it’s unbearable! What will happen when she finds out how vilely he was deceiving her? And she will find out sooner or later, I have no doubt about it. It will shock her! Karina herself is unable of lying, I’m sure!

She would never play, pretend that everything is unfamiliar to her.

How would it feel for her to understand she was just a toy in Arel’s filthy hands?

Of course, she is incapable of vendetta, I’m sure of it, even though her father is a very influential man and could harm us…

Harm us really badly, if he wanted to …

Arel knows that Carina has a bright soul, so he isn’t afraid of anything. He knows that he shouldn’t expect a foul play from her, she is being honest with him, and unlike him she told him the truth about her father. About WHO he is…

Sometimes I have horrific thoughts, I imagine how Arel hurts her right in front of me. I heard of her fight with Enriki, Enriki insulted her, hurt her feelings! Why wasn’t I there at the moment!

If Arel will ever hurt her…

Raise his hand on her…

Try to humiliate her, like other girls…

Then I will protect her!

These are horrible thoughts, but I swear to Gods, I will raise my hand on my beloved brother! Kill him, if I have to!

But I will protect Carina! It’s my duty!

I recall seeing him for the first time…

I was five years old, or maybe a little younger, but I remember that day clearly…

Mom brought me to the big hall, there was a lady sitting on a throne…

By that time she was completely insane, but I didn’t know that, and didn’t understand…

She was horrifying! Like the death itself! White face framed by dark hair, high-necked black dress…

And those empty eyes…

They scared me more than anything else!

If my mother wasn’t standing right behind my back, I would escape from there right away. But mom told me to come closer…

Luckily, the lady remained indifferent, but the boy sitting in her lap pressed against her and hugging her, lifted his tiny face and looked at me…

It was Arel…

Even back then he already was unbelievably beautiful…

I remember being amazed that he wasn’t scared of this terrifying woman, on the contrary, he clung to her with his both hands, like he was afraid to be torn from her.

I handed him a toy, like mom taught me.

It was a plush toy.

I was supposed to give it to him and then invite my little liege to play together. But my tongue froze inside my mouth. I became speechless. However, I’m still not over it, I keep turning speechless in front of Arel.

I blankly handed him the stuffed animal.

He took it.

He didn’t smile at me, didn’t say anything, just took the toy that was handed to him, while still clinging to his mother with one hand.

And I remember that he didn’t toss it away, no, he held it tenderly and tucked his face in its soft fur.

And I turned away, hiding my face in mom’s skirt, and she took me away.

That’s how our first meeting ended, and our relationship still adjust…

But I still love Arel…

And I know he loved the toy I gave him…

My name is Carina. Carina Kors, but I often call myself Carina Iness. Adding the name of my mother, whom unfortunately I don’t remember at all.

It’s been about two months since I came to the Castle, came for the Winter festival and stayed. Stayed with the prince and his friends. During this time I got to know them better, learned to find a common language with them, even though it wasn’t easy.

Along with them I took part in the response to the Black Bey and his ally. And I saw how Orel and his warriors fight. How they pair up and work in a total harmony with each other. And each one adjust his attacks to another, and puts up a guard if his friend is under attack.

And along with them I’ve spent some fun nights in “Bakar” at the Lower City, and in Orel’s Castle. And I’ve seen them quarrel, unable to agree. They argue so fiercely, each one tries to convince the others he’s right, but at in the end nothing changes, and everyone remains with his own opinion. Their arguments are pointless, they cannot hear each other, and everyone is talking to himself, but cannot hear himself, just as he cannot hear the others.

Chapter One.

“The First Time”

“I agree to gamble on the wishes, if whoever loses won’t refuse to fulfill them” – said Tol, picking out of habit his gapped teeth with his fat fingers.

“Yeah”, – Orel nodded, “Screw you and your wishes! You’ll just make the looser lick Asa again.”

Everybody laughed.

“Hey, you didn’t lick her!”– Tol protested with outrage, and everybody roared with laughter.

“So what do you suppose I did?!”

“Poured a bottle of wine into her and took a sip!”

“But she came! The deal was licking her till she comes, it’s not my fault she comes with me faster than she comes with you!”

“Now the looser would lick Tol’s ass” – Lis said, laughing. His black hair framed his pale grey face like dark tangled icicles.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about”, – Tol agreed, “You wouldn’t, and nobody would!”

“Nikto might!”

“Very funny,” – Nikto grunted. His had was at Orel’s lap, and he fumbled Nik’s hair involuntarily. His fingers softly untangled thick white strands, all mats and tangles.

“You mean not a single one of you would do it!”

“We could make normal wishes, like to tell something, some interesting life incidents, for example” – Enriki suggested.

“It’s boring!” – Tol whined.

“Not at all! Besides, if Carina wakes up, comes down here and sees all of us fucking Asa, she might not understand it was just a game!”

“For how long can we fuck Asa?” – Orel mumbled, “Aren’t you fuckin’ fed up?”

“We are” – Lis responded. “Tol, we’re fuckin’ fed up with fucking your Asa”.

“So you won’t get her anymore!” – Tol snarled.

“Oh, like she needs your permission to fuck! I personally fucked her, back when you weren’t giving her away to anybody, wouldn’t even let anybody touch your precious Asa.

“Me too”, – Enriki pitched in. “She’s a whore”.

Tol twisted his lips: “No”.

“Should I summon Mina?” – Orel asked.

“We are fed up with her, too! We don’t even have a single normal girls here, Arel!” – Enriki sounded displeased.

“Call your sister then!” – He snarled back.

Everybody froze, and Enriki went pale.

“So, we are going to tell stories” – Tol said gingerly. “Nik, tell us about your Rosa, how did it all happen?” – He added, seeing that everybody are still quiet.

“How did the two of you fuck?” – Lis specified gloomily.

“I didn’t lose yet” – Nikto argued, touching his scarred cheek involuntarily, “and I don’t like reminiscing it”.

“Why didn’t you follow her to the “upper world”, if you are still suffering? What stopped you from going up there and finding her?” – Enriki asked.

“Looking like this?!”

“After all, if your story is true, it was all Rosa’s fault!”

“And if she truly loved you, would she reject you?” – Orel added, “Regardless of what you became.”

“While protecting her!” – Tol added meaningfully.

“And be like an endless reproach to her?”

“I never thought you would sweat it so much!” – Enriki was surprised, “You are now talking as a common man, not even a warrior”.

“Like a weak kid” – Orel said, “‘I couldn’t let her see me like this!’ Beaten, mutilated. Who is she, she’s just a woman, and that’s it!”

Nikto was silent.

“You don’t get it” – he finally said. “She was a ‘white’, a genuine ‘white’ “…

“And you are Nikto, right?” – Lis snorted.

“Right”.

“I don’t have any respect for your human part” – Enriki said, – “It would be better if your demon suppressed it completely!”

“Fuck, I don’t understand what’s the deal with still considering Nik a human possessed by a demon” – Orel said grumpily. “It’s so dumb! This bullshit just pisses me off, and you, smart-looking people, insist on thinking of him as of someone redone, undone, possessed! You feeling ok?!”

Enriki blushed: “Fine! And what’s so dumb about it? I don’t see anything dumb here!”

“Andin my opinion, it’s just dumbness! I mean, Nick was living happily in his…what’s it’s called… oh, never mind, and then bam! A demon possessed him! What’s happening?! What for?!”

“Maybe he called the demon himself” – Squint-Eye suggested, “to become more powerful and to get back at his enemies”.

“What enemies?!”

“The Reds”.

“Oh, ok. Only instead of getting back at the Reds, he went straight to the Blacks’ ‘farm’!”

“Well, the demon must have had an agenda of his own”.

“Yes, everybody knows that the demons are just like that. You want something from them, and you end up getting the complete opposite”.

“Well, yes”.

The friends laughed at Orel’s ironic tone.

“I never said the demon possessed him like that” – Enriki tried to argue. “It’s just that if he was sold to a witch as a child, she must have been the one who turned him in to the dark powers. Sacrificed him. You understand what I’m talking about, Arel? Otherwise, why would she need a child? He was meant as a present, a sacrifice to demon from the beginning. Or maybe she obeyed the demon’s command, and he needed a body to penetrate into our world. That’s why Nikto’s human part is undeveloped and squalid. He is just meant to obey and be passive. That was also done by the witch, to make it easier for the demon. I mean, you guys can’t argue that Nikto is obedient most of the time, and resembles a wind-up toy”.

“Just like a rabbit with cymbals!” – Tol cried excitedly.

“And Rosa was totally unnecessary to the demon,” – Enriki continued, completely ignoring Tol’s outburst, as usual, – “on the contrary, she was standing on his way, nearly ruined the whole thing. Made Nikto fall in love, evoked some feelings, he became defiant, but being unexperienced, got jammed up right away and almost screwed up the whole thing. And of course, the buds of his free will where suppressed again, and he went where he had to go. Spreading chaos in our world, east, then west, and now in the very heart at the City.

“You don’t mind me being here” – Nikto interrupted. During their conversation he lifted his head from Orel’s lap and now was sitting next to him, his face twisted. “Hope I’m not bothering you”.

“Not at all” – Lis replied.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings” – Enriki explained. “It’s just my personal opinion, I was just expressing it. Would you prefer me to do it behind your back?”

“He would prefer you not to express it at all” – Lis grinned.

“Whatever happened to you – it was not your will, nor your fault. It just happened.

“Bad luck” – Squint-Eye said.

“Oh, go to hell! One of you thinks I’m just your reflection, another one – that I’m a rabbit with cymbals! I’m so tired of this shit pouring on me every day! You guys just haven’t heard enough fairytales when you were kids, so you keep telling them now!”

“How terribly you build your sentences!” – Enriki shook his head.

“I’m not like you, and that’s the whole problem, just because I have bright eyes and hair!”

“And every inch of your skin is packed with blasphemous, devilish images!”

Nikto moaned.

“In this world, there are at least couple hundreds half-bloods with bright hair and eyes” – Lis started, “But nobody is dissing them, why is that? Nobody’s dissing Mina, or Morgan Talas, for that matter. He’s not considered to be devil’s spawn, even though he’s a real piece of shit. And he’s definitely a half-blood”.

Nikto was silent.

“And what does it mean, you are just our reflection?”

“Ask him,” – Nikto nodded towards Orel, “If Enriki can still see a human in me, however damaged, Arel thinks I’m only capable of reflecting whatever is being put in me”.

“How is that?” – Lis lit a cigarette, and irritably tossed the box to Squint-Eye, who saw him lighting one and stretched towards him right away.

“Arel wants love, he puts love into me, and I love in response. You want to be first again, and involuntarily put your ambitions in me and think I’m the one craving power. And I, probably thanks to you, become just like that, and we are eternal rivals. “

“Arel came up with it?!”

“Yes.”

Lis stared at Orel, somewhat shocked: “I’m the one craving power? I put it in Nikto?! You should go easy on drugs, honey! They affect you too much. Probably because you were nuts even before!”

“It came up with it as a result of your own words!” – Orel snarled, displeased.

“But I never said anything of a sort!”

“Yes, you did! More than once! You said, ‘If you hurt Nikto, he’ll pay you back with the same coin. That’s why the “impure” do not touch him, do not fight with him anymore’. And I said, ‘Well, you shouldn’t worry about me then, I could never hurt him even if I wanted to, because I love him’. So you calmed down and said that in that case, I was protected. All in all, if you don’t count the small stuff, that was true”.

“Well, that’s not exactly what I meant!”

“And I actually like it” – Enriki noted, – “There is something about it, some sort of logic”.

“So what does he reflect from you?”

“Well, we are not that close with him…”

“Yeah, because I am that close with him!” – Lis noted sarcastically. “Honestly, I could still agree, that Arel is the only one with the input. Something he so pretentiously calls “love”. But in that case, Nikto should be insane, just like Arel, and shameless, and without any restraints.”

“And he’s just like that”, – Squint-Eye snorted.

“He is reflecting everything you say” – Orel turned towards Enriki, “How come you can’t see that?! A weak man imprisoned by a demon, who controls his entire life”.

Enriki went pale: “You think that’s me? I’m possessed by a demon!”

“And probably more than one. Ask Carina, she’ll tell you everything about your demons. It’s just that you don’t want to see them, and me and the others never gave a damn, she was the only one touched by them. Probably because she’s a normal person. I agree, you don’t show them off, unlike me, or Squint-Eye, for example. You push them deeper inside, hide them behind your beloved proprieties, but the demon bursts out anyway, so ugly an inappropriate, right, Rik? And he ruins everything you worked so hard building around you. Career, personal life, your relationships with people. And eventually, you end up here, with us, in trash.

“You really shouldn’t get high!”

“You’re angry because it’s true. That’s why Nik made you so crazy at the beginning! You couldn’t accept him, just as you can’t accept yourself, your inner ugliness. You were looking at his face and seeing your own insides. You are only handsome from the outside, a perfect front. But you are ugly inside. Now, it seems, you have almost put up with it. Accept yourself as you are, with all your vices” – Orel squeezed Nikto’s face in his palms – look at this! It’s impossible to correct anything, but he is still beautiful!”

Enriki looked down.

“Enough bitching about Nikto!” – Tol began indignantly. “Just going on and on, ugly-beautiful, inside-outside. Nikto is our guy! Ours! And by the way, he loves us all, despite the fact that all of you keep insulting and humiliating him all the time, and generally, are completely unfair towards him! But he doesn’t get angry! I’m sure, he would sacrifice his life for any of you!”

Orel laughed: “Oh, thank you, Tol. I had no idea you loved everybody so much!”

“What does it have to do with me?! I was talking about Nikto just now. Me, personally, I wouldn’t even give a red penny for Lis, for example, not to talk about risking my life! As if! Nikto is the only one not holding grudges, doesn’t matter how much Lis is shitting on him, he still loves him…”

“Oh, here’s another one!” – Orel said, turning towards Vil, who has just entered. Vil froze tensely, as usual.

“Vil, what’s Nik like, in your opinion? Quick, don’t think about it!”

Vil’s eyes went completely round with terror. “Kind…” – he whispered, hardly managing to speak, but not daring to disobey Orel and withhold the answer.

Friends exchanged glimpses, and Nikto laughed.

“And also”, – he said, – “You were saying that I don’t have a single drop of pride or dignity in me. And that I put out my ass for Orel obediently, and resemble a whore more than a warrior. You even put some eyeliner on me. I’m Arel’s slut!”

And Orel, seeing how the faces of his friends twisted in discontent, started laughing, too: “Serves you right! When you’re shitting on him, you’re actually shitting on yourselves! How about that, huh?! Didn’t expect that, now, did you? It’s a good idea I had, right?!”

“You definitely mustn’t get high” – Enriki said firmly.

“Personally, I don’t give a damn” – Squint-Eye shrugged, “So he resembles us, so what! But here, we all resemble each other, all of us covered in shit head to toe, that’s why we got together in the first place. And I never tried to hide my demon”.

“You are bummed because of your eye, and Nikto – because of his scar”.

“What do you know about it, anyway!”

“Me- nothing, I’m a gorgeous prince! I’m just saying that everyone’s got his share, and you too, and everyone’s got their…” – “Here comes Carina”, – Lis said quickly, and Orel fell silent right away. Nikto pulled away from him.

Carina came down into the hall and approached them with a smile.

“Hello,” – and she graciously lowered herself onto the furs, right next to Orel. He stretched towards her and kissed her.

“Have you rested?”

“I have, what about you?”

“Us too. Want some wine? Vil, get Carina a wineglass!”

“Oh, Vil, no need, I’ll get it myself” – she turned to Orel, “and in the meantime, if you don’t mind, I’ll take a sip from yours”.

“I don’t mind, but I don’t have a glass” – Orel lifted a half-empty heavy bottle.

“A-ah” – she laughed, – “Just be careful!”

He smiled at her too, touched a broken tooth with his finger: “You are talking about this? I’m trying”.

Vil was already fetching a glass.

She took a sip and shook her head: “I’ll become a drunk with you guys, what are you doing? Gambling again?”

“We were”.

“On money?” – She looked at the heaps of golden coins, sparkling on the thick furs.

“We were gambling on money, but Tol lost everything again”.

“And we decided to gamble on wishes”, – Enriki explained, – whoever loses, has to tell a story about himself.

“Like how he fucked for the first time!” – Tol added. –“Wanna play with us?!”

“Yeah, right! You’ll beat me right away! You play every day, and me – just from time to time!”

“So what! We will also tell our stories if you want, that’s even more fun!” – Tol went on.

“Then what’s the point of winning or losing?”

“No point! Let’s just tell our fuck stories, shall we?!”

“In that case, we don’t have to play at all” – Lis twisted his face. “Just sit around and talk about some bullshit!”

“For you, everything is bullshit!” – Tol said with outrage. – “And I like it! According to you, we should only talk about business all the time! I’m fed up with it!”

“You definitely should have gotten fed up! You are the one talking about business non-stop!”

“Arel! They’ve started again” – Carina laughed.

“Would you tell us what your first time was like?” – Orel asked, and his voice was like velvet.

“You pervert! Fine!” – She looked at her friends, naughty sparkles lit in her brown eyes. – “I’ll tell you! But you go first! I’ll listen to your stories, and then tell you mine”.

“You will lie to us!” – Tol roared, not even hiding his pleasure.

“I promise! I will tell you! Who’d we begin with?”

“With Squint-Eye”, – Orel laughed, – “He’s always the scape goat”.

Everybody laughed, too, and Squint-Eye didn’t even blink.

“I lost my virginity in a brothel”, – he said, – “My brother was the one who took me there”.

“The one who came here? Berk?” – Lis clarified.

“Yes”, – Squint-Eye continued, – “He decided it was about time I knew a woman. She was a regular whore”.

“And the first and the last intercourse in my life” – Lis added, mimicking Squint-Eye’s indifferent voice.

Everybody laughed.

“Almost”, – Squint-Eye replied calmly, – “That’s it.”

“Your brother was better at teaching you how to fight and kill, than how to fuck” – Orel noted. – “I can’t get my head around it, how did he do it? Just a snotty brat himself! And I was trained by seasoned warriors, who didn’t teach me everything he taught you!”

“That’s because he was young and hot-blooded himself” – Lis explained. – “And your experienced teachers didn’t have that ardor in them anymore. That enthusiasm”.

“Next! Lis, you’re up” – Tol interrupted.

“It was a girl from my town, we went to school together,” – Lis began, – “It was the first time for both of us. And we didn’t really understand anything”.

“In my case, it was some made servant,” – Tol said thoughtfully, – “Somehow, I don’t remember shit…”

“Now Asa”.

Lis translated the question for her. She scrunched up her nose in surprise, but replied.

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