I'M Only A Child

Khadija, also a child bride, before she became a successful film director

Khadija Al-Salami, was born in 1966 in Sana'a, the capital of Yemen. At 11 years old she was forced to marry a man of thirty, but did not accept what she experienced as an abuse; and it was, despite her tribe and her family considering marriages between little girls and adults of even thirty or forty years older, legitimate and normal.

The child refused to have sex with her husband and he returned her to her family, as if she were damaged goods.

One day Khadija plucked up all her courage and decided to be the protagonist of her own life, to get divorced and choose to make herself a better person, possibly a happy one.

She ran away from her husband, went to an association for the protection of women, which helped her find work at a local TV station. It was the start of her recovery, her entrance into a work environment that she liked very much and that was to mark the course of her studies, her work and her success as a director.

A providential scholarship, won at 16, helped her achieve her objectives. She went to study in the United States and graduated with top marks in Film Production and Directing.

Then she went to live in France, where she began her career as a documentary filmmaker. She has made dozens of films on the role of Yemeni women and girls.

There have been many rewards in recognition of her commitment in defence of child brides. She was nominated as a Knight of the Order of Arts and Letters by Frédérick Mitterrand, Minister of Culture and Communication at that time. She has received accolades from many institutions including the Foreign Legion.

Her film "I am Nujood, age 10 and divorced" won an award at the International Film Festival in Dubai in 2014.

Khadija Al-Salami, is the first female Yemeni film director and stands for the commitment and courage of the women of her country. She is an example for all the girls who do not wish to submit to cruel, old fashioned, rural customs which out of ignorance trample their basic rights to live in freedom without being abused.

Malala Yousafzai, the Nobel Prize girl

Malala is convinced that girls are entitled to an education. She was ten years old when the Swat valley, the District of Pakistan where she lived, was attacked by the Taliban that abolished the right to study with the closure of many schools, including her own.

Malala described life under Taliban rule in a BBC blog using the pseudonym Gul Makai. It was 1999. The girl began several collaborations with major newspapers, including the "New York Times", where she expressed her disagreement with Taliban rule, opposed to education for all Pakistani citizens, especially women.

She on the contrary loudly affirmed during interviews: "I want to go to school, I want to play, listen to music, sing!".

In 2012, she became a Taliban target.

"Which one of you is Malala Yousafzai?” was the question she heard, but didn’t have time to answer before two gun shots hit her head. Two armed men had boarded the school bus that was taking her home, with the intention of killing her for having written in her Urdu blog that women have a right to education.

Malala’s topics were considered obscene by the terrorists who claimed responsibility for the attack with these phrases: "This is a new chapter of obscenity which we must put an end to… she has become a symbol of western culture in the area, which she has openly touted… she considers Obama her ideal leader. Let this be a lesson to her".5

In the telephone claim to responsibility for the attack, Ehsanulla, the Taliban spokesman, threatened a new ambush if Malala survived.

Malala indeed hovered between life and death, but she managed to survive. She was transferred to a hospital in Great Britain and recovered. She then decided to remain in the U.K. with her family, to continue her studies and devote herself to her campaign for girls education.

She's tough. She was brought up with a good education at home. Her father Ziauddin, a poet, and a teacher at the Khushal Public School, is of a progressive and emancipated mentality. He has always taught her the value of education ever since she was little and has shown a desire, on several occasions, to see his daughter go into politics one day.

The confidence Malala’s father had in his daughter’s talent encouraged the girl to engage in social activities which she divulged through blogs and the net. So she began to receive awards and new assignments.

She won the National Youth Peace Prize, conferred on her by the Pakistani Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani and was subsequently nominated for the International Children Peace Prize.

On 12 July 2013, on the occasion of her 16th birthday, she wore a shawl that had once belonged to Benazir Bhutto, to speak at the Headquarters of the United Nations in New York and made an appeal for the right of every boy and every girl to education.

In November 2013 Malala was awarded the European Parliament’s Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought.

President Martin Schulz defined her as 'a global icon of the fight for girls’ education".

Moved, Malala said: "I hope that through our unity and our determination we can achieve our goals and help the 57 million children who expect something from us, who do not want an iPhone, xbox, PlayStation or chocolate, but just want a book and a pen."

Malala’s growth programme was set to achieve its highest levels, when beaming, in 2014, she announced on Twitter that she had been admitted to Oxford University: "I’m very excited," she wrote. She was happy to achieve her dream of being able to study. On her website www.malala.org, through a non-profit organisation, she collects funds for educational programmes throughout the world.

On 10 October 2014 Malala was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize together with the Indian activist Kailash Satyarthi. She was seventeen years old and the youngest winner of a Nobel Prize for the struggle against the suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education.

The story of Aberash. The courage to change

Aberash was 14-years-old, a teenager, when she was kidnapped by a 29-year-old farmer who took her to a hut and brutally raped her.

The man’s intention was to force her into marriage. He hoped to get her pregnant and make use of the rule derived from telefa, which according to ancient tradition makes kidnapping socially acceptable when the misdeed is followed by a wedding to put things right.

The girl, however, had no intention of yielding to such an imposition, nor to overcoming the affront she had suffered.

She was left alone in the hut and when her kidnapper left, promising to return soon, she realised there was a gun in the house. It belonged to her tormentor who used to hang it on a hook. Aberash, who hated that prison, took the gun and fled.

Her kidnapper returned home and realised that the girl was not there, so he looked for her with some of his friends. He found her and tried to grab her, but she wriggled free, then she fired the gun and killed him.

The story took place in 1996, in Ethiopia, in a rural area, many hours journey away from the capital Addis Ababa.

Aberash was accused of murder. She had the entire village against her, including the kidnapper’s mother who found it natural to abduct a girl to then marry her. "It’s something everybody does – she said – because it’s part of our tradition".

The trial ended two years later with an acquittal for legitimate defence, and the case of Aberash gave rise in Ethiopia, to a provision which considers anyone who kidnaps a woman, for the purpose of forcing her to accept a remedial marriage, as an outlaw; even more so if the case involves a child.

This was a legal breakthrough of utmost importance in a society that has always considered the kidnapping of adolescents and subsequent forced marriage permissible.

The role of the lawyer Meaza Ashenafi was decisive for the success of the trial. The legal defence and help of the association of women lawyers (Andinet Women Lawyers Association) – founded by Ashenafi herself – obtained an effective result that symbolised the redemption of the wrongs suffered by Aberash, and was a warning for those who mistakenly believed they could use violence against girls with impunity.

Once she had released Aberash, Meaza Ashenafi entrusted her to the association she co-founded, for a journey of assistance to overcome the pain still alive in her heart.

However, the girl had to leave home, her family and go to Addis Ababa to be far away from the accusations of the inhabitants of her village.

It was too risky to remain in a place where her kidnapper’s father demanded that Aberash be killed and buried next to his son.

The new criminal code and an acquittal do not serve to make it clear to the tribal society in which the unfortunate fact happened that the inalienable rights of women and girls do exist: self-determination, the right to study, to choose their own destiny. Democratic principles which Aberash’s father, the village teacher, and a few others, argued with drawn swords in defence of the girl. Two men as allies in a patriarchal society may be just enough to hope for a better future, and Aberash trusts in the support of those who understand her, to dream of a change in her life and in the lives of the other girls who live in her country.

Meaza Ashenafi: the fight for women’s rights

Ms. Ashenafi, the lawyer responsible for Aberash’s acquittal, has campaigned for many years for legal reform on public education and information for the rights of women and girls.

Born in 1964 in Ethiopia, in a rural village 800 km from Addis Ababa, she was brought up by her father – the mayor of his town – with firm educational principles and a schooling plan for her, her brothers and her sisters.

Meaza soon realised that she wanted to study law. At 17 she was admitted to the University of Addis Ababa, and was the only girl in a class of fifty men, just as in 1986, she was the only woman who graduated in law at her university.

Meaza Ashenafi is currently involved in the work of the African Centre for Gender at the United Nations Economic Commission for Africa, and in the creation of the African Women’s Rights Observatory.

And in November 2018 her appointment was announced as head of the Supreme Court, the highest legal institution in the country. The Ethiopian Parliament unanimously approved her candidacy.

After the recent historical election of Zewde Sahle-Work to the presidency, the country in the Horn of Africa chose a woman for the first time for such a prestigious role.

Ethiopia is changing, including under the pressure of Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed who gave impetus to his country’s reform programme by deciding that 50% of the executive of Addis Ababa should be composed of women.

A fine example for all African countries which can consider the patriarchal model of marginalisation of women in political and institutional roles outdated.

Difret, the courage to change

Aberash's story inspired the film "Difret, the courage to change", in which the little girl is called Hirut Assefa. The film’s narrative is inspired by the true story of Aberash Bekele.

Produced by Angelina Jolie and directed by Zeresenay Berhane Mehari, the film was presented in the United States, where a petition of 135 thousand signatures was delivered to Catherine M. Russell, US Ambassador for global women's issues, by the international organisation Girls Not Brides, which interacts in various fields on the problem of child marriages.

In the summer of 2018, from the 25 to 27 June in Malaysia, Girls Not Brides convened the largest gathering of civil society supporters committed to putting an end to child marriage.

The organisation’s common goal is to allow all girls, all over the world, to realize their potential. To feel free to choose what is best for their life: to study, to gain professional experience, to grow up believing in themselves.

A film to let the world know about the strenuous fight against child marriages

Difret, the courage to change is considered a commendable film. Below is the online review published on "Game Surf ":

"Women’s emancipation is a topic that cinema has begun treating in an increasingly disruptive way – writes Roberto Vicario listing various western films on this subject – Difret, the Courage to Change, however focuses on what is, perhaps, an even more dramatic topic when compared to the emancipation that western women fight for, and that is the total annihilation of any human right, tied to outdated, ancestral rites that many towns and villages in Africa (but not only!) still use today.

To be able to portray the status of women with a clear eye and strong critical sense, the director Zeresenay Berhane Mehari – resident in the US, but born in Ethiopia – leads us, through the eyes of the camera, to live a true story that really happened in his country of origin “.

The choice of the film's title is in itself an exhortation to look with optimism to the future, in fact in Ethiopian the name Difret means courage, and the film is meant to be an encouragement to fight together to change things.

"Difret – The Courage to Change – emphasises Roberto Vicario – is a film that, we are sure, will be uncomfortable for many, especially in its country of origin and in other countries that use similar practices. A film conceived many years ago, which experienced various production problems, almost to its permanent cancellation.

It was Angelina Jolie who, being increasingly active herself in the social field, revived the fortunes of this project and fascinated by the story and the subject decided to take part as co-producer. A happy choice not only for the significance and value of the film – capable even of winning the Sundance Festival – but mainly because from possible cancellation we progressed to a media attention, which can only be beneficial to the production. On the other hand, as the film’s title says, we must never stop fighting, but fight with courage to defend our rights, but more than anything else our dreams."6

A petition film

The success of "Difret the courage to change", the film produced in the US with a strong emotional and cultural impact, has not just happened overnight but is the result of many initiatives that preceded and followed the distribution of the work throughout the world. These include the essential initiative of the 1 October 2015, when Girls Not Brides launched #mylifeat15, an international campaign calling on governments to make it a primary goal to put an end to child marriage by 2030.

Girls Not Brides, global meeting 2018

We celebrated reaching 1000 members with a Group photo at our Global Meeting. Photo credit: Graham Crouch/Girls Not Brides

In Kuala Lumpur, during the second Girls Not Brides global meeting, about a thousand organisations from over 70 countries gathered to discuss the issue of child marriage.

The event was overwhelming and participation strongly felt. The interventions, which focussed on achieving the goal of abolishing child marriage by 2030, developed future theories of commitment planning to work collectively at local, national, regional and global levels.

Given the encouraging results already obtained, the effective words of Lakshmi Sundaram, executive director of Girls Not Brides, opened up hopes of possible short and long term achievements of goals even more. Her report, published on the Girls Not Brides portal, highlighted the significant commitment on the part of all the partnership’s organisations:

"Members – wrote Lakshmi – have been able to effectively share learning, conduct joint advocacy, change local attitudes, influence national and regional strategies, leverage new resources, hold governments accountable and build South-South collaboration. However, for partnerships to thrive and have the greatest impact, they need to include a diversity of voices and be managed effectively".

Young people are key change-makers.

"During the global meeting – Lakshmi specified – youth activists shared examples of how their work has led to concrete changes in the lives of girls. It was clear that if we want to end child marriage, we have to empower youth and youth-led organisations and ensure they have the agency to make decisions about their present and future". And it is precisely the commitment of girls who have suffered and experienced child marriage that is one of the drivers of the global project, because, according to Lakshmi Sundaram, they "are amongst the most powerful advocates in efforts to end child marriage, but they need appropriate support to share their stories safely and effectively. They must also be involved in designing policies and programmes to address the issue.

This is why it’s critical that the global movement to end child marriage Girls Not Brides doesn’t just focus on prevention – we have to address the needs of married girls in a holistic manner. To this end we must address gender inequality – stated Lakshmi – it must be at the heart of everything we do, since such discrimination is the fundamental cause of child marriage. And it is important to involve men and boys who can be a key part of the solution to the problem. (…) However, we need to have the courage to discuss some of these difficult topics – including sexuality, social norms and power and race dynamics – openly and respectfully. We’re not going to make progress on ending child marriage if we’re not willing to take these conversations beyond the Global Meeting”. 7

Memory Banda: I’ll marry when I want

Memory’s story is called “A warrior’s cry against child marriage”.

I'll tell it to you because it’s very engaging and also fun to listen to. The video is posted on YouTube (with translations into 38 languages). Just enter the name Memory Banda into the search engine to find it.

I write "fun" because this girl really is a force of nature. She is able to describe with firmness, a sense of humour and courage the enormous problem of a marriage which they wanted to make her accept at all costs.

Her story takes place in Malawi, a country in East Africa. Read what the girl says:

“When I was 13 years old, I was told: ‘You are grown up, you have now reached the age when you're supposed to go to the initiation camp’. I was like: ‘What? I'm not going to go to the initiation camp’.

You know what the women said to me? ‘You are a stupid girl. Stubborn. You do not respect the traditions of our society, of our community’. (…)”

This teenager’s positive energy is exceptional, for not only did she manage to avoid her own marriage, but she fought to have laws passed, to interest public opinion and the institutions of her country. She’s organised sit-ins with her friends to get in touch with the relevant authorities to deal with the unfortunate problem of child brides.

Memory tells her story directly to a meeting:

This is her public speech:

“I'll begin today by sharing a poem written by my friend from Malawi, Eileen Piri. Eileen is only 13 years old, but when we were going through the collection of poetry that we wrote, I found her poem so interesting, so motivating. So I'll read it to you. She entitled her poem

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1

Ilaria Sesana , Le spose-bambine derubate del futuro [Child-brides deprived of their future] – Famiglia Cristiana, 05/08/2014;

2

Ibidem;

3

Child marriages in Mexico. The story of Itzel married at 14, Onerpo; A day in the life of Itzel, a 15-year-old, Girls Not Brides, 26 April 2017;

4

“I am Nujood, age 10 and divorced” by Nujood Ali and Delphine Minoui published on the 22 January 2009 by Michel Lafon;

5

Who is Malala Yousafzai? Nobel Peace Prize 2014, Public Sphere, 10 October 2014;

6

Roberto Vicario, Review of "Difret, the Courage to Change", Women’s emancipation, told with courage! Game Surf, 21 January 2015;

7

Lakshmi Sundaram, Ten takeaways from the Girls Not Brides Global Meeting – 11 July 2018;