Mistress, Mother...Wife?

‘Not now that you’ve consented to visit me, Anna.’

She crossed her arms over her dark green top, and Dante couldn’t think of a colour that would complement her pale satin skin more. Without warning, the fresh, searing pain of his recent loss swept over him. It returned with renewed force and he wanted to reach out, anchor himself to life again, remind himself that even though his mother had gone beauty and grace were still his to appreciate if only he’d take the trouble to see it. If he brushed up close to such admirable qualities in Anna would it relieve him of the bitter, despairing thoughts that pounded on him so disturbingly? Thoughts that confirmed his growing belief that he must be no good?

Yes, his nature was clearly unlovable and unworthy of regard—hadn’t his own father abandoned him?—so perhaps he deserved abandonment by the people close to him? Especially when he’d been so ruthlessly focused on making himself rich that he scarcely saw the needs of anyone else.

‘It upsets me when you look like that,’ Anna confessed softly.

‘Like what? ‘

‘As if you don’t like yourself very much.’

‘Is there no hiding from that all-seeing gaze of yours?’ Dante retorted uncomfortably.

‘I just want to help you if I can.’

‘Do you? Do you really?’

‘Of course I do. Why do you think I came? Would you like to talk about it?’

‘No, sweetheart. Talking is not what I need right now,’ he answered, gravel-voiced.

And for a man who had prided himself on achieving anything he put his mind to in life it was ironically too difficult a task to keep the raw need that surged through his body like a tidal wave completely out of his tone.

CHAPTER TWO

IN SLOW motion he reached for Anna’s hand. His eyes—those intense, burning, ethereal eyes—held her willing prisoner, right then becoming her whole world.

‘What do you want?’ she whispered, hardly able to hear over the pounding of her heart. ‘What do you need?’

‘You, Anna…right now I want and need you.’

After that, words became unnecessary. His fingers were slipping through her hair, anchoring her head so that she was placed perfectly for his kiss when he delivered it…when the touch of his lips ignited a heartfelt need that had slumbered achingly inside her for years and promised to more than satisfy it.

She’d always thought that maybe her impassioned secret desires were doomed to remain unrequited. On the rare occasion when she’d allowed herself to overcome her mistrust and be caressed by a man, the experience had never remotely lived up to her hopes. All it had done was leave her feeling vulnerable, scared that she would end up alone and unloved until the end of her days. But now, as his warm velvet tongue so hungrily and devastatingly swept her mouth’s interior, the flavours she tasted rocked her.

Along with passion, fervour and consuming need, Anna was alive to the anger, despair and pain that she tasted too. But she didn’t let such stark emotions scare her…not when they mirrored feelings of her own that she’d often been too afraid to bring into the light. Because of that she innately understood the tumult that flowed heatedly through his blood—good and bad—even if she didn’t know the details.

Crushed to his warm hard chest in its dark roll-necked sweater, she felt musky male heat and sexy woody cologne captivate her senses as he ravished her in the starved, insatiable way she’d always dreamt of being loved by a man. Holding on to his hard-muscled biceps to keep from falling, Anna feverishly and willingly paid him back in kind. And in her head echoed the advice from her mother that she’d never forgotten: Only give yourself to someone you love.

On the bed in a room where in their haste to be together they hadn’t even paused to turn on a light they raided each other’s clothes with trembling hands—desperate for skin on skin contact and more drugging open-mouthed kisses that promised to last all night long. And if he’d temporarily lost his mind in taking this young red-haired beauty to bed then Dante heartily welcomed the state. She was the first really good thing that had happened to him in ages, and he wasn’t about to question his good fortune.

The intoxicating feminine scent of her body had already taken up residence in his blood, and it thrummed with wanting her. The arresting sight of that rippling blanket of fiery hair on the silk cream pillow behind her head made a stirring, ravishing picture that he would not soon forget. Now, as his hands eagerly caressed the smooth, slender contours of Anna’s body, the breathless gasps she emitted made him blind to any other sensation but their wild and heady mutual desire. He was all but desperate to plunge inside her, to forget everything except the unrestrained thundering joy of the chemistry that had exploded between them from almost the first glance, to relegate the darkness that had recently threatened to suffocate him, to the shadows.

Sensing her stiffen a little as he explored her heat with his fingers, Dante rose up to cup and stroke her face. A duty that should have been at the forefront of his dazzled mind suddenly stabbed at his conscience.

‘I’m sorry, Anna…I should protect you. Is that what you are concerned about? ‘

‘It’s okay,’ she sighed, dark eyes shy. ‘I’m protected already. I’m on the pill.’

For an indeterminate amount of time Dante got lost in her wide fire-lit stare, and then he came to and kissed her. The caress seemed to gentle her. Then, his blood flowing with increasing desire and demand, slowly, care fully, he drove himself deep inside her. The heat that exploded around him was incredible.

Anna’s sherry-brown eyes smouldered and brightened at the same time, but Dante had not missed the momentary flash of apprehension in her beautiful glance either. Too aroused and aching to wonder about it for long, he felt his body naturally assume the age-old rhythm that would take him to the destination and release he longed for…a destination that could and would free him for a while from the merciless torment that had deluged him when his mother had breathed her last laboured breath in his arms. Instead of grief and misery, ecstasy and bliss would be his. And for a blessed short time, at least, all the hurt would be swept away.

His strength of purpose all but overwhelmed Anna as she watched him move over her, his arrow-straight hips slamming into hers as his loving became ever more intense, ever more voracious. By instinct and by desire she wound her long legs round his back, until he was so deep inside her that she felt as if her body no longer existed just as one. Instead, she and he had become a single entity, with two hearts beating wildly in tandem and mind, body and spirit in stunning accord. She had given herself to him without doubt that it was the right thing. destined, even.

Would it scare him to know that she thought that? A girl he had just met, to whom he probably wouldn’t even give the time of day normally?

In the soft darkness that seemed to be growing ever lighter as Anna’s eyes grew more accustomed to it his smooth muscles rippled like warm steel beneath her trembling, caressing fingers. His breath was harshly ragged as he alternately devoured her lips and then, with that same hot, tormenting mouth, moved lower to caress her breasts. He suckled the rigid aching tips in turn, and Anna couldn’t withhold the heated moan that broke free. It was as though her very womb rejoiced when he touched and caressed her.

When he rose up again to capture her lips in another hotly exploring and intimate kiss, something inside her started irrevocably to unravel, to spiral dizzyingly out of control. At first, because she was nervous of being so vulnerable and exposed in front of him, Anna tensed, trying to stem the sensation. But at that same moment she stared up at him, to find the corners of his oh-so-sensuous lips lifting in what might have well been a quietly knowing smile, and she completely gave up trying to control what was happening.

Instead, she allowed the fierce, elemental power of the tide that swept through her to take her where it willed. She was scarcely able to steal a breath as the heart-racing journey commandingly held sway. It was like freefalling over a hundred-foot waterfall. Feeling stunned, she didn’t know if her mind or her heart raced more. Tears surged helplessly and she bit her lip to quiet the sounds that inevitably arose inside her throat.

Anna knew then that she was changed for ever by what had just occurred. Even her mother, with all her tenderly given advice, could not have prepared her for the powerful emotions that flooded her at surrendering herself to this man. Her gaze met his in genuine wonder. Moving even deeper inside her, his hard glistening body pinned her to the bed, keeping her there for long pulsating seconds. The blue-grey eyes that were so reminiscent of a restless stormy sea now scorched her as he silently surveyed her. The raw feeling and emotion he unwittingly revealed ripped achingly through Anna’s heart.

Even though they were engaged in the most intimate act of all, he still seemed so isolated and alone. Like a lighthouse, with nothing but the sea surrounding it. She longed to be able to swim to him and reach him. But then, with an echoing shout that sounded as though it had been dragged up from the depths of his soul, a shudder went through him, and he stilled. Scalding heat invaded her.

‘Anna…’ he rasped, clasping her face between his hands and shaking his head as though she was an enigma he’d never resolve.

When he laid his head between her breasts, Anna rubbed away her tears and then enfolded him in her arms, stroking the impossibly soft fair hair almost as though he were a hurt child in need of love and care.

‘It will be all right,’ she soothed softly. ‘Whatever’s happened to make you so sad, it will pass given time. I truly believe that. One day soon you’ll start to enjoy life again.’

‘If you know that, then you have access to the kind of faith that’s a million light years away from where I am right now. And if my life runs true to form, it’ll probably stay a million light years away.’

His warm breath skimmed her tender exposed skin like a lover blowing a kiss, while at the same time the shadow of beard covering his hard jaw lightly abraded her. But it was the utter desolation she heard in his gruffly velvet voice that disturbed Anna.

‘You mustn’t give up,’ she urged, sliding her hands either side of his sculpted high cheekbones to make him look up at her.

Although he was surprised by her words, he couldn’t disguise his anguish. ‘Don’t waste your reassurances on me, Anna. I’m okay. I’ll survive… I always do.’

‘You don’t think life can be better than just surviving? ‘

‘For you, angel, I hope it can be. You deserve it—you really do.’

‘Sad things, bad things have happened to me too,’ she offered shyly. ‘Apart from childhood stuff. After a couple of years of doing jobs I hated I found one I really liked and excelled at. But I lost that post when some ruthless hotel magnate bought out my previous employers and installed his own staff. I didn’t let myself be sad about it for long, though. I had no choice but to pick myself up and face the unknown. Luckily fate brought me here, to the Mirabelle. Sometimes help arrives when you most need it, you know?’

‘Perhaps it does if your conduct has warranted it.’

‘I wish you could tell me what’s happened to make you feel so low. I thought—I thought perhaps because you were wearing black you might have just lost someone?’

Breathing silently for a while Dante didn’t speak. Then he sighed. ‘I already told you I’m not the unburdening kind. But I don’t feel low right now, cara… How could I, lying here in your arms, hearing your heart beat beneath my cheek, having just enjoyed the pleasures and consolation of your beautiful body?’

Hot colour poured into Anna’s cheeks. ‘If I’ve brought you some comfort then I’m happy. But I think it’s time I went. I really should get back to my room and get some sleep…I’ve got to make an early start in the morning.’

‘So working in the bar isn’t your only job?’

‘No. I do a bit of everything. I’m learning the trade, so it’s great. It’s a small family-run hotel and we all muck in. In the mornings I’m a chambermaid.’ She dimpled shyly.

‘Stay.’ Winding his fingers possessively round a spiralling length of her vivid burnished hair, Dante raised it tenderly to his lips. ‘I want you to stay until morning. Would you do that for me, Anna? I can’t promise you more than this one night, but I promise that I’ll hold you close until the dawn comes up… If that’s enough…if you’re willing to accept just that…will you stay? ‘

Five years later

Anna flew into the large hotel kitchen, hurriedly unbuttoning her raincoat as she scanned the busy room for Luigi, the head chef. Defying the stereotype that proclaimed all good chefs should be on the large side, he was tall and thin, with a pointy chin and an abundance of curly black hair with threads of silver tied back in a ponytail. She found him straight away, the back of his chef’s whites towards her as he weighed ingredients at one of the scrubbed steel counters, whistling an aria from a well-known opera.

‘Did the produce arrive?’ she asked breathlessly. ‘I spoke to the manager at the deli and he told me it had already left in the van. Is it here? ‘

Turning round to acknowledge her, the first thing Luigi did was to look her up and down, then wag his finger. ‘Have you eaten breakfast this morning? My guess is that you haven’t, and yet you run around at a hundred miles an hour as if you can exist on fresh air alone!’

‘As it happens I had a croissant at the deli while I was waiting to talk to the manager.’

Crossing her arms over her damp rain-spattered coat, Anna challenged him to disbelieve her. It was sweet that he took such an interest in her welfare and what she ate, but she was no longer the naive twenty-four-year-old she’d been when she first came to the hotel. She was thirty-two, in charge of her own destiny, and the assistant manager to boot!

‘A croissant, eh? And how do you expect to survive on such a poor substitute for food as that until lunch-time? A croissant is nothing but air too!’

‘It wasn’t just air. It had apricot and custard in it, and it was extremely filling and very nice.’ Sighing patiently, Anna let her rose-tinted lips naturally form a smile. ‘Now, will you please answer my question about the produce delivery? Anita’s expecting an important delegation for lunch today, and everything has to be just perfect.’

Luigi threw up his hands dramatically. ‘And you believe it won’t be? You should know by now that Luigi delivers nothing but perfection! ‘

‘You’re right. I do know that.’

‘And, yes, the delivery has arrived—and the black olives are excellent as usual.’

‘What a relief. So everything is fine, then? I mean, there aren’t any problems? ‘

With her gaze swinging round towards Cheryl, who was the sous chef, and the three young kitchen assistants scurrying busily about the kitchen, Anna included them all in her question. She hadn’t been made assistant manager without developing an ability to notice everything—from the mundane to the much more important—and she was very keen for all to be well.

Anita and Grant, the hotel’s owners, had always prided themselves on running a tight ship, but an extremely friendly one too. They cared about their staff. That was why Anna had stayed on. And when she’d fallen pregnant they hadn’t said she had to leave. Instead, the couple had been unstinting in their support of her, seeing her potential and insisting she occupy the charming two-bedroom apartment in the basement of the hotel as part of her remuneration for working there. They had also helped her find a reliable and decent local nursery for her baby, and encouraged her to take an online management course with a view to promoting her and helping her to earn a better salary. Consequently, Anna was fiercely loyal as well as immensely grateful to the couple.

‘Everything’s fine in the kitchen, Anna.’ Cheryl nodded, but then the slim, pretty blonde bit down anxiously on her lip and continued, ‘Except we couldn’t help wondering why Anita and Grant had a delegation from one of the most well-known hotel chains in the country coming here for lunch. Can you tell us anything about it?’

Anna’s insides cartwheeled at the question. This afternoon the couple who owned the hotel had scheduled a meeting with her to discuss something important, and all last night and early this morning, as she’d got her daughter Tia ready for kindergarten, she’d been fretting about what the subject might be. The charming little hotel in its smart Georgian building was situated in a very desirable corner of Covent Garden, but Anna wasn’t oblivious to the fact that the country was plunged deep into a recession and reservations and consequently takings were definitely down.

Were they going to be bought out by a more commercial hotel giant, and as a consequence would she lose a job she loved again? And not just her job this time, but her home too? It hardly bore thinking about.

But now, seeing the obvious anxiety on not just Cheryl’s but on the other staff members’ faces too, she knew she had a duty to reassure them.

‘To be absolutely honest with you I know nothing about it. My advice to you all would be to just concentrate on your work and not waste time on speculation. It won’t help. If there’s anything concerning us that we need to know, you can be sure we’ll all get to hear about it soon. Now, I must get on. I’ve got to relieve Jason on Reception. He’s standing in for Amy, who’s phoned in sick.’

Time dragged interminably slowly as the hotel chain’s delegation of three enjoyed the superb three-course lunch Luigi and his staff had prepared. Afterwards the two men and their female colleague were closeted in a meeting with Anita, Grant and their son Jason, the manager, for two and a half hours. Anna had never been a clock-watcher, but that afternoon she was.

It was a quarter to five by the time the phone rang on Reception to invite her into Jason’s office for the promised meeting with him and his parents. In the meantime, Linda, the girl who did the late shift on the desk, had turned up, and now sat beside Anna powdering her nose.

Standing outside the manager’s office, Anna smoothed her hands nervously down over her smart navy skirt, captured a stray auburn tendril that had come adrift from her ponytail, tucked it back into her faux ivory clip and then rapped briefly on the door. Greeted by three identically reassuring smiles, she nonetheless sensed immediately that all was not well.

‘Dear Anna. Come and sit down, my love.’

The tiny brunette with the stylish elfin haircut, and the smooth, unlined face that belied the fact she was only a year away from the big sixty, welcomed her warmly, as usual.

‘Firstly, you’ll be pleased to know that the lunch Luigi prepared for our visitors today went extremely well. They were very impressed.’

‘The man can certainly cook,’ chipped in Grant, Anita’s handsome silver-haired husband. ‘You could almost forgive him for having an ego the size of an elephant!’

Anna immediately deduced he was nervous, and she perched on the edge of her seat, wishing her mouth wasn’t suddenly so sickeningly dry, and that her stomach hadn’t sunk as heavily as a giant boulder thrown into the sea. Searching for reassurance, her dark eyes met Jason’s. The tall, slim young man whose features were a male version of his elfin mother’s tried for a smile, but instead it came off as a resigned grimace. That was the moment when the alarm bells clanged deafeningly loud for Anna.

‘So…’ Her hands linking together nervously in her lap, she leaned forward even farther in her chair. ‘What was the delegation from that commercial hotel chain doing here? Are we in trouble, or something?’

Anita started to speak, but Grant quickly took over.

‘Yes, love.’ He sighed, pulling a handkerchief out of his suit trousers to lightly mop his brow. ‘Serious financial trouble, I’m afraid. Like many other small businesses, the recession’s dealt us a heavy blow, and I’m sure you’re aware that we’ve been losing money hand over fist. You’ve noticed how the reservations have fallen? It’s really only the regulars that have stayed loyal to us. If we’re to hold our own against some of the more popular hotels we need to reinvest and refurbish, but with the coffers practically empty, and banks refusing loans left right and centre, it’s not likely to happen. Consequently, we’ve had no choice but to try and get some other form of help.’

‘Does that mean that you’re going to sell the hotel? ‘ There was such a rush of blood to her head that Anna scarcely registered her boss’s answer. All she could think of right then was Tia… How was she going feed and clothe her child if she lost her job? More urgently, where were they going to live?

‘We were offered a buyout, but we haven’t accepted the offer yet. We told the delegation that the hotel had been in the family for three generations and we needed some time to think things over.’ Anita’s usually sunny smile was painfully subdued. ‘We have to get back to them by the end of the week. If we do agree to the buyout then unfortunately it means that none of us stay. They’ll want to refurbish and give the place their own look, run it with their own staff. I’m desperately sorry, Anna, but that’s our position.’

She was struck silent by the news she’d just heard, but her mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour. Then, because she was also devoted to and protective of the interests of the family that had been so good to her and Tia, Anna forced a reassuring smile to her numbed lips.

‘It’s a difficult situation you’re in,’ she quietly acknowledged, ‘and it’s hardly your fault that there’s a recession. The staff—including myself—will all eventually find other jobs, but what will you guys do? The hotel’s been in your family for so long, and you love it…I know you do.’

‘It’s kind of you to be so concerned, love.’ The big shoulders that strained Grant’s suit jacket lifted in a shrug. ‘I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but we’ll be fine. We’ve got each other, and that’s what matters most in the end, isn’t it…? The people you love, I mean.’

Not usually given to expressing his feelings in public, he squeezed Anita’s hand. ‘And we’ll do whatever we can to help you find another flat, Anna. We certainly won’t be walking out this door until we know you and Tia are safely settled somewhere. As for jobs. Well, with all the experience and qualifications you’ve gained these past few years, some grateful hotel will eagerly snap you up. You’re a lovely girl and a complete asset. they’ll quickly learn that.’

‘So you’ll let us all know by the end of the week what you’ve decided?’

‘Perhaps sooner… Anita, Jason and I plan to spend the evening mulling things over. As soon as we’ve decided we’ll let you and the rest of the staff know the decision we’ve reached.’

Getting to his feet, Grant sent Anna a friendly broad smile. ‘It’s five o’clock, and it’s time you were running along to get that little angel of yours from aftercare at kindergarten, isn’t it?’

Glancing down at the slim silver-linked watch on her wrist, Anna shot up from her seat. She hated to be late collecting Tia, and as always ached to see her child and learn about her day. Tonight, when she was in effect in limbo about their future, she would make an extra fuss of her, and hold her even tighter before putting her to bed.

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