In His Loving Care

He swung round, wishing there was something more he could have done to convince Helen Daniels that he was the best candidate for the post. She followed him from the room and he could sense her eagerness to get rid of him as she escorted him to the reception area. She paused by the desk, a polite smile fixed to her lovely mouth, and he sighed. There was no point holding out any hope that he would be offered the job so maybe he should cut his losses and make this as easy as possible for her.

‘Thank you for seeing me, Dr Daniels. I appreciate you giving up your time.’

‘Thank you for coming all this way,’ she countered politely. ‘Did you drive up here or travel by train, by the way?’

‘I drove. The trains can be a little erratic and I wanted to make sure I was back when Kristy got home from school,’ he replied, without thinking, because he was busily watching the light from the window playing across her hair. It really was the most glorious colour, he thought, watching a winter sunbeam bounce fiery lights off the silky red tendrils…

‘You have a daughter?’

The surprise in her voice reclaimed his attention and he nodded. ‘Yes. Kristy is six,’ he explained in the noncommittal tone he used whenever anyone exhibited surprise at the fact that he was a father.

‘A lovely age. Old enough to enjoy her company yet still young enough that you can take care of her. You spend all your time worrying about them when they’re old enough to leave home.’

Lewis frowned. He wasn’t sure what to make of that comment. He would have put her age at somewhere in her mid-thirties so she must have been very young when she’d had her family if her children had left home. Bearing in mind the years she would have spent studying, it seemed very strange and he was still trying to work it out when she continued.

‘How does your wife feel about moving out of London? Is she happy about the idea?’

Lewis forgot about Helen’s family as he tried to decide how to answer the question. Normally, he avoided any mention of Tessa because he found it too difficult to talk about her. It also upset Kristy to hear her mother’s name mentioned so he skirted around the subject whenever anyone asked about her. However, for some reason he felt that he had to be truthful with Helen Daniels.

‘I’m not married. I never have been, in fact.’

‘Oh! I’m sorry. I just assumed you were when you spoke about your daughter…’

She broke off in embarrassment and he grimaced because now he’d made matters worse. The only way to rectify the problem was to tell her the full story and to hell with what she thought…only it wasn’t that simple. For some, inexplicable reason he didn’t want her to think badly of him.

‘Kristy’s mother and I had a brief affair some years ago before she moved to Florida. She never told me that she was pregnant before she left so I had no idea that she was expecting my child. I only found out last year when a firm of lawyers from Miami informed me that I had a daughter.’

‘It must have been a shock for you.’

‘It was.’ He smiled grimly, thinking that must be the biggest understatement of all time. Even now, a full year later, he still woke up at night sometimes and wondered if he’d dreamt it.

‘You said that you found out about your daughter when you were contacted by lawyers? Was there a reason for that?’

Lewis felt his heart swell when he saw the concern in her beautiful eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at him that way, he thought wistfully. He realised that he needed to terminate the conversation before he got in way too deep for his own good. Once he left The Beeches that would be the last he saw of Helen Daniels so there was no point wallowing in all that wonderful sympathy.

‘Unfortunately, Tessa was involved in a road accident and subsequently died of her injuries. She was living with some guy in Miami at the time, and after she died he decided that he didn’t want to be responsible for Kristy.’ He shrugged, trying to damp down the anger he felt whenever he thought about what had happened. ‘He took off one day and left Kristy in the apartment. Fortunately, a neighbour heard her crying and called the police, but from what they could gather she’d been on her own for almost a week by then.’

‘But that’s awful!’ Helen exclaimed. ‘How could anyone just abandon a young child?’

‘I’ve no idea. Anyway, once the authorities discovered that Tessa was dead, they put Kristy into care. It was only when the police finally tracked down the guy Tessa had been living with that my name cropped up. Tessa had told him I was Kristy’s father, so the lawyer who was working on the case got in touch with me. I flew out to Miami the following day and was granted custody of her.’

‘It must have been a huge shock for you, though.’

‘It was.’ He smiled wryly. ‘I’d never thought about having a family and all of a sudden I had a six-year-old daughter I had never even known existed.’

‘You could have had her adopted,’ she said, her eyes locked to his face in a way that would have bothered him if it hadn’t been for what she’d said. The fact that she believed him capable of giving up his own child made him see just how low an opinion she had of him, and it hurt to realise that, hurt far more than it should have done, bearing in mind that he barely knew her.

‘Kristy is my child and I would never put her up for adoption,’ he stated in a voice like steel. ‘I’ve enough to feel guilty about without adding that into the equation.’

‘But you didn’t even know that you had a daughter!’ she protested.

‘No, I didn’t know about her, but that isn’t an excuse for what’s gone on. The poor child has suffered enough heartache in her young life and I intend to do everything I can to make up for it.’

He looked straight into her eyes, wanting to convince her yet unsure why it mattered so much. ‘I’m going to do my best to be the perfect father to her, and if that means giving up my career and moving home then that’s what I shall do. The only person who matters now is Kristy and there is nothing I won’t do to make her happy!’

CHAPTER TWO

‘THERE’S a staff meeting today at twelve. It will be a bit of rush to fit it in before we do the house calls but we find it helpful to get together a couple of times a week to discuss any problems we have.’

Helen summoned a smile, wishing she didn’t feel so on edge whenever she had to speak to Lewis. After all, it had been her decision to offer him the job so it wasn’t as though she hadn’t had any choice in the matter. Would she have taken him on if he hadn’t told her about his daughter, though? she wondered all of a sudden.

She’d already decided that she wasn’t going to offer him the job when he’d told her about Kristy, and it had been that which had made her reconsider. The thought of what the child had been through had had a huge bearing on her decision, although it hadn’t been the only reason she’d changed her mind. It had been Lewis’s determination to do all he could for the little girl which had been the deciding factor, and it was unsettling to know that he had that much power over her. It wasn’t surprising that she felt so nervous around him in the circumstances.

‘Fine by me. There’s a couple of queries I’d like to raise.’

He smiled ruefully and Helen’s heart performed the strangest manoeuvre—something between a leap and a hiccup. She had to make a determined effort to concentrate as he continued in the same wry tone.

‘My lack of experience in some areas of general practice work is starting to show so I’m hoping the rest of the team can give me a few pointers.’

‘That’s what we’re here for,’ she agreed briskly, deciding that enough was enough. She made her way to the door, pausing reluctantly when he spoke again. She would have preferred to make her escape rather than risk a few more seconds in his company.

‘I forgot to ask whose car we’re going in this afternoon to do the home visits. I don’t mind driving if you feel like a break.’

‘We’ll go in mine,’ she said shortly. It was irritating to have these ideas flashing into her head all the time. She’d worked with Ian for over twelve years and not once had she experienced even a hint of the awareness around him which she felt around Lewis.

The thought was less comforting that it should have been and she hurried on. ‘We need to visit one of the local farms today and your car really isn’t suitable.’

‘Hmm. A sports car isn’t the ideal vehicle to get around the area, is it?’

He sighed as he tossed his pen onto the desk and stretched his arms above his head. Helen looked away when muscles began to ripple beneath his shirt. She was trying to defuse the tension, not add to it!

‘I’m going to have to bite the bullet and change my car, I suppose.’ He heaved another sigh then dropped his hands onto the desk in a gesture that smacked of defeat.

‘Obviously a major sacrifice,’ she said tartly, because it seemed safer not to sympathise with him as she would have done with any other member of the staff.

‘Oh, I’m not worried for myself. A car is a car, so far as I’m concerned, but Kristy loves it. The only time I’ve heard her laugh, in fact, was when I took her to the seaside in the summer and we put the top down. I think it reminded her of drives with her mother. Tessa was driving a convertible when she was killed.’

Helen immediately felt guilty. It had been wrong of her to try and offset the effect he had on her by thinking badly of him. ‘How is Kristy settling in?’ she asked, because there was no way that she could apologise for being so sharp with him. It would only make him wonder why she’d spoken to him in that fashion in the first place, and that was the last thing she needed.

‘So far, so good.’ He crossed his fingers. ‘She seems to like her new school well enough and the fact that there’s an after-school club has been a real bonus. I’ve not had to find a child-minder to look after her until I get home from work. However, what really swung it was the house. The place we’re renting backs onto a farm and there’s a horse in the paddock. Kristy spends all her spare time standing by the fence, stroking it!’

Helen laughed. ‘A lot of little girls are mad about horses. I know I was at her age. Maybe you should think about booking some riding lessons for her.’

‘Actually, I have it on my list of things to do. Unfortunately, it’s a very long list and I haven’t got round to it yet.’ He tipped back his chair and smiled at her. Helen’s heart performed another interesting manoeuvre, a kind of double somersault this time.

‘I can imagine,’ she said as calmly as she could. ‘It must be difficult to keep on top of everything with moving house and starting a new job.’

‘Tell me about it! There don’t seem to be enough hours in a day to fit everything in. But arranging for Kristy to have riding lessons should be a priority, really. I don’t suppose you know where the nearest stables are?’

‘I’m afraid there aren’t any in Summerfield.’

‘That’s a blow. I was hoping I’d be able to find somewhere local to take her for lessons.’

‘Jill Sandford at Sandy Brook farm is a qualified instructor. She used to take a few pupils so maybe you could try phoning her?’ she suggested, hating to hear him sounding so deflated.

‘That’s a great idea! Can you let me have her number? I’ll give her a call tonight after work.’

‘I’ll hunt it out for you. And now I really must get down to some work.’

She quickly excused herself and made her way to her room. There were three consulting rooms at The Beeches, plus a treatment room which was normally occupied by Amy, their practice nurse. Helen had taken over Ian’s room after he’d died because it was the sunniest, while Harry Scott, their locum, was currently using the room she’d once had. She’d given Lewis the room that had belonged to Ian’s father and now she found herself wishing that she’d arranged to have it decorated. It had always been a gloomy room and a fresh lick of paint would have brightened it up. She should have got rid of some of the old-fashioned furniture, too. Ian had insisted on keeping the room exactly as his father had left it, but it was time the place was updated.

She frowned as she opened the door to her own room. It, too, desperately needed modernising. Ian had always refused to modernise the surgery but maybe it was time she did so. She couldn’t keep clinging to the past because it was what Ian would have wanted. She had to make her own decisions and it was a surprise to find herself thinking along such lines. She wasn’t sure what had sparked it off so she tried to forget about it as she summoned her first patient. There would be time enough for colour charts and fabric swatches later!

Her first patient was Diane Hartley, a teacher at the local high school. Helen smiled when she came into the room. ‘Hello, Diane. It’s not often I see you here on a weekday.’

‘No, and I feel dreadful about taking time off work, too, but I just had to come and see you.’

She suddenly burst into tears so Helen quickly got up and led her to the chair next to her desk. ‘Here, take this,’ she said, handing Diane a tissue. She waited while the other woman wiped her eyes then smiled at her. ‘Now, tell me what’s wrong.’

‘I don’t know! That’s the trouble. I feel so miserable all the time and I can’t seem to stop crying.’ Diane blew her nose. ‘It’s as though there’s this black cloud hanging over me all the time. It’s driving poor Martin mad.’

‘I’m sure Martin is more concerned about you than anything else,’ Helen assured her. She certainly didn’t want to add to the poor woman’s woes by encouraging her to worry about how her husband was feeling. ‘When did this all start?’

‘It’s been going on for a while now,’ Diane admitted. ‘I just kept telling myself to stop being so silly but it’s got to the point now where I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep on feeling this awful all the time, Dr Daniels. Life isn’t worth living.’

‘Then we need to do something about it,’ Helen said firmly, standing up. ‘I’m going to examine you to get an idea of how your health is generally and we’ll take it from there.’

She examined Diane and found nothing to alarm her. Putting her stethoscope away, she went to one of the cupboards. ‘I’d like to take a blood sample, if you wouldn’t mind. We need to find out if there’s a physical cause for the way you’re feeling.’

‘Of course I don’t mind!’ Diane sounded so relieved that Helen looked at her in surprise. Diane blushed. ‘I thought I was having some sort of mental breakdown. There’s a lot of pressure in my job and I assumed it was that which was causing the problem.’

‘It could very well be a factor,’ Helen agreed. ‘However, these feelings you’ve been experiencing could also be the result of physical changes in your body. Have you noticed anything else unusual happening recently?’

‘Well, yes, now that you mention it, I’ve been having these terrible hot spells. I wake up at night because I’m dripping wet. And my periods have become very irregular, too. I’ve always been like clockwork but I never know when I’m going to come on nowadays. Do you think they might be linked to how miserable I’ve been feeling lately?’

Helen chose her words with care. There could be a common factor linking all those symptoms and one that Diane might not be happy about, either. ‘It’s possible, if your oestrogen levels have dropped.’

‘My oestrogen levels…’ Diane repeated, then gasped. ‘You don’t think I could be going through the menopause, do you? I mean, I’m only thirty-six so surely it’s far too early for that to happen?’

‘I don’t intend to make any snap judgements today. However, you told me last year that you and Martin were trying for a baby so it’s possible that you haven’t conceived because your fertility levels have fallen. The blood test will confirm that, one way or the other.’

‘But does that mean I won’t be able to have a baby now?’ Diane asked in dismay.

‘I really can’t say what will happen until I know exactly what’s going on, Diane,’ Helen replied gently, uncapping a syringe and taking an alcohol swab out of its foil packet.

‘How long will it take to find out?’ Diane demanded, wincing as the needle slid into her arm.

‘Just a couple of days.’ Helen carefully withdrew the small amount of blood she needed for the tests and smiled reassuringly. ‘I’ll give it top priority so we should have the results back by the end of the week. And I’ll phone you immediately once I get them.’

‘And if it is the onset of the menopause, then what happens? Is there anything you can do to stop it?’

‘If it is that, I shall refer you to a fertility specialist. There’s a very good clinic near Blackpool which has achieved some excellent results. But it’s all speculation at this stage. We need to see those results before we know what we’re dealing with.’

Diane sighed as she stood up. ‘I don’t know what I’m hoping for now. If the tests show that I’m going through an early menopause, it will explain why I’ve been feeling so dreadful, but it could also mean that Martin and I might never have a family.’

‘I know how difficult it must be for you but at least we’re doing something positive and that’s the main thing.’

Helen made herself sound as upbeat as possible as she saw Diane out. However, she couldn’t helping drawing a comparison with her own situation. She was thirty-eight and her own fertility levels must be dropping, too. Ian had never wanted them to have a child because he’d had the twins. His first wife had died soon after Helen had started her GP training at The Beeches and it had seemed the most natural thing in the world to offer her help when Ian had found it difficult to manage with two small children to look after on top of doing his job.

Tom and Katie had been six when she had married Ian, and by that time she had loved them as much as she would have loved her own children. However, she couldn’t deny that it had been a blow when she’d found out that Ian hadn’t wanted to add to their family. She’d kept hoping that he would change his mind, but it hadn’t happened. Now it seemed unlikely that she would ever give birth to her own son or daughter, and she couldn’t help feeling sad at the thought of what she was missing.

No wonder Lewis was so determined to do all he could for his daughter, she thought, then sighed in exasperation. Why did every single thought lead back to Lewis?

Lewis was late for the meeting, mainly because he still hadn’t got used to judging the length of time he could spend with each patient. Six minutes were allotted for each consultation and it was far too little in his opinion. Harry and Amy were already sitting at the staffroom table with an open tin of biscuits in front of them when he arrived. Helen was pouring coffee and she glanced round when he appeared.

‘Black or white?’

‘Black, please, with plenty of sugar.’

‘Sounds like you had a hard morning,’ Amy said, grinning as he sat down. A pretty girl in her twenties, she was engaged to a policeman and in the throes of planning a summer wedding.

‘I haven’t adjusted to the conveyor-belt system you operate here so I find it difficult to keep up.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Switching my brain from what analgesic to prescribe for a teething toddler to how to treat Mr Parsons’s gout all in the space of a couple of minutes takes some doing!’

‘It must be your age,’ Amy retorted. ‘That’s why you can’t keep up.’

‘Cheeky monkey!’ Lewis laughed out loud. It was refreshing to be treated as just another member of the team after the awe he’d inspired in his previous post. ‘I’ll remind you of that in a few years’ time when you’re having problems keeping up the pace.’

‘Ah, but I’ll still be younger than you so I’ll still fare better,’ Amy countered.

‘Touché!’ He shook his head in defeat because he obviously wasn’t going to win this argument. He glanced round when Helen brought over the coffee, feeling his heart leap when her hand accidentally brushed against his as she placed it in front of him.

‘Thanks.’ Picking up the mug, he took a gulp of the coffee in the hope that it would steady him, but his hand was still tingling from the contact and it worried him that he should be so aware of her. He’d had his share of relationships and didn’t intend to have any more until Kristy was all grown up and no longer needed him. And by that time he’d be too old to bother!

‘Is Mr Parsons’s gout getting worse?’

Helen sat down opposite him and he hastily returned his thoughts to the reason for the meeting. He was supposed to be discussing his patients’ problems, not thinking about his own.

‘It’s spread to his ankle now and he’s in a lot of pain. The joint is very red and swollen, and obviously tender. Unfortunately, he forgot to renew his prescription after the last bout so he didn’t have any medication to stave it off. I gave him an injection of corticosteroids and another script. I also took some blood to check his levels of uric acid. He might need a new drug and diet regime to reduce the levels of uric acid in his body and help his kidneys excrete it more quickly. I noticed from his file that it’s two years since his last review so he must be due for one.’

‘He is. Let me know when the test results come back and we can discuss it then.’ She put her mug down and reached for the biscuit tin at the same moment as he went to get it. Once again their hands touched and he jerked his back when he felt the current of electricity that arced between them.

‘Of course, if you’re interested,’ he replied thickly, struggling to get a grip on himself.

‘Tom Parsons is one of our oldest patients. He was the first person to sign on when the practice opened so naturally I’m interested,’ Helen replied neutrally, so neutrally, in fact, that he couldn’t help wondering if she’d felt the electricity, too.

He shot her a wary glance but it was impossible to tell what she was thinking, and maybe it was better that he couldn’t. There was no room in his life for Helen or any other woman when he had Kristy to consider. The thought steadied him and he looked calmly at her. ‘I can’t imagine having patients for that length of time. Most of the people I treated at St Leona’s I saw just a couple of times—once before their surgery and once after it was over.’

‘It’s totally different here,’ Harry put in, helping himself to a biscuit. ‘Most of the folk we see have been on our books for years. Talk about from the cradle to the grave isn’t in it!’

Lewis smiled at the wry note in the younger man’s voice. ‘Don’t you approve?’

‘Oh, it’s great if you like that sort of thing.’ Harry grimaced. ‘It’s just not for me. I want a bit of excitement in my life before I settle for the old pipe and slippers routine. To be honest, I can’t imagine why you decided to swop an interesting job in London for working here…no offence intended, Helen,’ he added as an obvious afterthought.

‘And none taken,’ she replied smoothly. ‘I know this is just a stopgap for you, Harry, before you move on to bigger and better things.’

‘I didn’t mean it that way,’ the younger man said uncomfortably. ‘I enjoy working here but I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my days doing the same job. The Beeches is great the way it looks after all its patients so wonderfully, but it’s a bit of a throwback to another era. Very few general practices offer the kind of all-encompassing service we provide.’

‘Maybe they don’t but The Beeches was founded on the principle of commitment and caring, and that’s something I’m proud of and intend to continue,’ Helen said firmly. She turned and Lewis stiffened when he saw the challenge in her eyes. ‘How do you feel, Lewis? Do you think we’re out of date in the way we do things here?’

‘I think you could cut out a lot of the unnecessary work,’ he said carefully, not wanting to offend her.

‘Really? Would you care to elaborate?’

She stared back at him and he sighed when he saw the glint in her beautiful eyes. He really and truly didn’t want to start an argument but, now that she’d asked for his opinion, he felt duty bound to give it.