Secret Heirs And A Forever Family

‘Trust me, no man could resist you in this dress, and certainly not the father of your child.’ Her small, knowing smile made Allegra blush.

Did she want to be irresistible to Rafael? Sex was out of the question, and even kisses would complicate their already ambiguous relationship. The last thing she wanted was to be hurt…again. And yet…she’d felt worn out and ugly for months. The thought of looking good, really good, and having Rafael’s eyes widen with surprise and then flare with desire…

She was tempted. She was seriously tempted.

That evening, as Allegra got ready for their night out, she started to doubt the wisdom of picking such a blatantly sexy dress. What if Rafael was put off by it? What if he thought she was throwing herself at him? What if she was?

And, really, the whole ensemble, from the diamond chandelier earrings Amanda had insisted she wear to match her father’s sapphire necklace to the four-inch silver stiletto heels encasing her feet, felt a little much. Some people wore jeans to the Philharmonic. She didn’t need to be quite so OTT.

And yet it was nice to feel beautiful. The silky material slithered over her skin and the diamonds winked at her ears. The heart-shaped sapphire nestled in the hollow of her throat, winking and glinting. Amanda had arranged for a make-up artist and hairstylist to finish her look, her hair held up by diamond-tipped pins, with a few curls cascading down to rest on her shoulders. She’d never, Allegra knew, looked so good.

Even so, she was still battling doubt as she left the safety of the bedroom. Outside the Manhattan skyline glittered, the entire city spread out before them. Rafael turned, his eyes narrowing as he took in the sight of her.

Allegra tried to smile but she felt so nervous and exposed that she wasn’t sure she managed it. Rafael looked almost unbearably sexy in a midnight-black tuxedo, the snowy white shirt offsetting his olive skin, his hair brushed back from his forehead, his eyes glittering like polished bronze, everything about him radiating that restless energy that had drawn her to him nearly five months ago.

‘Is it too much?’ she asked with an uncertain laugh. ‘The dress, I mean?’ Her hands fluttered at her sides and she lifted her chin, trying for pride. She’d chosen this dress. She’d wear it no matter what Rafael thought…and yet she wished he’d smile or say something. He was practically scowling.

‘You look…’ Rafael stopped, his voice hoarse. Allegra waited, her heart fluttering like a trapped bird in her chest. ‘Magnificent.’

A smile unfurled like a flower across her face, and then she was beaming. She couldn’t help it. A distant voice in her head was telling her not to be so obvious, not to let Rafael affect her. Why should she care what he thought? Why should she want to please or impress him? She shouldn’t. She most certainly shouldn’t.

And yet as Rafael grinned back that voice was silenced. Tonight she was a beautiful woman, and he was a handsome man, and they were going to hear the most wonderful music together. Allegra wanted to let herself enjoy it without trying to stay safe or sensible. She wanted to forget that she didn’t trust him, wasn’t even sure she liked him, and that the future was entirely uncertain. Tonight she wanted to leave all that behind and enter into the magic. And so she would.

Rafael had never seen Allegra look so beautiful. She was more than merely beautiful—she was incandescent, breathtaking. The ice-blue of her gown flowed like cool water over her perfect curves, the faint bump of her belly making a deep, protective urge rise within Rafael like a primal howl of possession. She was his. No matter what the results of the amniocentesis were, no matter what the future held. His to protect, to provide for, to possess. His.

Then he saw the sapphire pendant at her throat and it slammed into him yet again who her father was, who his was, and all the hard history that lay between them…dark, difficult history Allegra didn’t know about, but which marked every moment of Rafael’s life. History that reminded him that letting someone into your life, even just a little, was a terrifying responsibility as well as a formidable risk.

A faint frown marred Allegra’s brow and Rafael banished the memory, the realisation, the fear. Those were not for tonight, when all he wanted to do was enjoy the evening…and Allegra. He stretched out his hand and she took it, slender fingers sliding between his. She squeezed his hand, and it felt like a promise, an agreement. Tonight was for them, for magic.

Wordlessly he led her downstairs to the waiting limo.

The evening felt expectant, although for what Rafael couldn’t say. Despite their near-kiss over a week ago, he didn’t actually expect anything physical to happen between them. He didn’t want it, not if he forced himself to think rationally. If he let his libido lead the way, he’d peel that slippery dress from her creamy skin and have her in the back of this limo.

Yet far more unsettling than his desire for her was his desire to please her. He’d found himself arranging small treats and pleasures for her all week, simply to see her reaction. He told himself it was part of his duty, his responsibility to take care of her. The feeling inside him, as if his heart was a balloon floating higher and higher, was just a fringe benefit.

In any case, he wasn’t going to start feeling things for Allegra Wells. After losing everyone he cared about, he was hardly going to let someone else get under his skin. Into his heart. No matter what happened with their child.

The Lincoln Center was glowing with lights as the limo pulled in front of the concert hall where the Philharmonic was playing. Rafael saw more than one man steal a speculative or even lascivious look at Allegra as she moved through the crowd, a stunning goddess with her red-gold curls tumbling artfully onto her bare, creamy shoulders.

She turned to glance back at him, grey eyes sparkling like silver stars. ‘This is amazing, Rafael. Thank you.’

Every time she said his name he felt an arrow of satisfaction pierce him sweetly. He told himself it didn’t matter.

They took their seats, Allegra excitedly perusing her programme like a child on her first trip to the circus.

Her enthusiasm made Rafael smile as he leaned forward to ask her, ‘Haven’t you been to concerts before?’

She wrinkled her nose. ‘Oh, dear. Is my newbie status showing?’

‘It’s charming,’ Rafael replied, ‘but I would have thought, as a seasoned New Yorker, as well as a music-lover, this would be old hat to you.’

She shook her head, curls bouncing. ‘No, not really. Not at all. I’ve been to concerts, but they’ve been free ones in churches and things like that. I’ve never heard the Philharmonic play live.’

‘Never?’ He was surprised.

She gave him a laughing look. ‘Not everyone’s a millionaire.’

Billionaire, actually, but he wasn’t going to debate the point. He sat back in his seat, legs stretched out in front of him. ‘Your father had plenty of money.’ Not that he remotely wanted to talk about her father.

‘My father did,’ Allegra agreed quietly, some of the sparkle gone from her eyes, ‘but we didn’t. My mother didn’t get anything from the divorce.’

Rafael frowned. ‘She must have had some financial settlement.’

‘Nope, not a penny.’ Allegra shrugged. ‘I don’t know why.’

‘She didn’t sue for alimony?’ It didn’t make any sense.

‘I was only twelve, I didn’t ask. And I haven’t asked since then because, to be honest, it just gets her going. She’s always been bitter about it. All I know is my father managed to arrange things so we were left with nothing.’

Rafael supposed he shouldn’t be shocked; he knew how heartless Mancini had been. But he was surprised, on Allegra’s behalf. Why did she still care about him when he’d treated her so badly? ‘So how did you survive?’

‘My mother sold some jewellery to start, and she also had various boyfriends who helped.’ Allegra made a face. ‘That sounds awful, doesn’t it? But my mother was used to living in a certain style, and it still makes her furious that she can’t.’

‘And what about you? Does it make you furious?’

Allegra shrugged, her gaze sliding away as her fingers touched the sapphire nestled at her throat as if it was a talisman. ‘I don’t care so much about things. And I’ve supported myself since I was eighteen.’

‘Eighteen.’ Another surprise. ‘Did you go to university?’ He realised that, despite having spent the last week and a half in her company, he didn’t know that much about her or her life. Not that he’d actually spent much time with her. He’d intentionally stayed away, not wanting to complicate matters. Not wanting to get close. Now, however, he realised he wanted to know more about her… even if it unwise.

‘No, I didn’t.’ Allegra pursed her lips, her gaze shadowed. ‘I decided it wasn’t for me.’

Rafael felt sure there was something she wasn’t saying, but he had no idea what it was. ‘What about you?’ she asked. ‘Did you go to university?’

‘No, I went to work when I was sixteen.’ He felt his chest go tight, his jaw hard, just because of the memories. His fist bunched on his thigh and he forced himself to relax. ‘We needed the money.’

‘Then we have something in common.’ Allegra gazed at him in sorrowful compassion, and Rafael knew she was keeping herself from asking about their fathers on purpose. Neither of them wanted to prise open that Pandora’s box right now.

‘Yes, I suppose we do,’ he said, and smiled. She smiled back and he felt the tension in him ease.

Then the lights dimmed, and they both settled back in their seats as the music began. Rafael wasn’t that much of a connoisseur of music, but he loved seeing the look of rapt attention on Allegra’s face. She was utterly arrested, a pearly sheen in her eyes, her hands clasped to her chest. He’d never seen someone look so thoroughly enthralled, and it touched a place deep inside him, a place he hadn’t accessed in a long time. It made him yearn and mourn, just as he had when they’d listened to Shostakovich. Watching Allegra, he wanted to feel as much as she did. He wanted to let himself.

The concert came to an end, the last notes of music fading away into an aching stillness, and Allegra rose from her seat, dashing the tears from her face with an embarrassed laugh. ‘Sorry, music always affects me like that.’

In the space of a second he was catapulted back to that night in Rome when she’d said the same thing. When he’d felt as powerfully as he did now, wanting this woman with an intensity that both thrilled and terrified him.

He’d wiped away her tears then, and she’d let him, and then they’d made love. It had been the most incredible sexual experience of his life, and he could remember every exquisite detail of that evening, of Allegra’s response, of the way she’d felt under his hands and mouth.

He watched a rosy blush sweep across Allegra’s skin and knew she remembered it all too. They stared at each other for a prolonged moment, eyes wide, hearts beating hard, the moment spinning on and growing in strength. The desire was still there, and more powerful than ever. More dangerous too. Would they act on it as they had before?

Neither of them spoke in the limo on the way back to the hotel. Rafael couldn’t keep from imagining himself reaching out one hand to tangle in Allegra’s hair, drawing the diamond-tipped pins out one by one and then anchoring his lips to hers. He pictured sliding his hands under her gown, hauling her onto his lap so she was straddling him. With a suppressed groan he shifted on his seat, trying to ease the now persistent ache in his groin. He was torturing himself with these kinds of thoughts.

Allegra was quiet, her face pale, her expression thoughtful as she gazed out at the traffic streaming by in a bright blur of light. He thought she was feeling what he was, but even now he couldn’t be sure. She’d drawn away from him once already. Even if she desired him, he knew that she didn’t want to.

It was a pertinent reminder that, no matter what, sex would be complicated between them. Fraught and maybe emotional. And he didn’t need or want to feel more for this woman than he already did. Then his leg brushed hers and an electric current zinged through his body. He couldn’t help but feel.

They rode up the lift in silence, and then he was swiping the key card and they were in their suite, the rooms dim and hushed, as if everything was waiting for this moment.

It would be so easy to take her into his arms. To plunder her mouth. To peel the dress away from her body. All the things he’d been imagining, wanting…

Everything, anything, felt possible. He heard Allegra draw a shuddering breath and knew she felt it, just as he did. Just as much.

‘Allegra…’ His voice was an ache in the darkness, and he reached out one hand, fingertips brushing her shoulder. Her skin was as soft and silky as he remembered. She shuddered again, a ripple of longing that went through her whole body, and he knew, he knew she would yield. And he wanted her to, desperately. So desperately.

Then Allegra’s phone pinged with an incoming message and in a split second the mood shattered. She slipped away from him, taking her phone out of her clutch and then frowning as she looked down at the screen. A new, different kind of expectation tightened Rafael’s gut.

‘What is it?’

She swallowed audibly. ‘It’s a voicemail from the doctor.’

‘He called in the evening? While we were out?’ His voice was sharp and tense.

‘No, this afternoon. I missed the phone call and the voicemail just came in now.’ She slid him a quick, worried glance. ‘My phone’s old. The messages don’t always come in right away. I should have checked…’ He heard the recrimination in her voice, along with the fear.

‘What does he say?’

Allegra swiped a few buttons and then listened to the call. Rafael watched her face, noticing the way her lips pursed and her eyes clouded, pale red-gold brows drawing together.

‘Allegra…?’ he prompted when she ended the call. Everything in him felt coiled tight, ready to snap.

‘No real news.’ She let out a shuddering breath. ‘Just that the results from the amnio are in and he wants to discuss them with us tomorrow morning at ten o’clock.’

‘All right.’ They stared at each other, the weight of the information pressing down making it hard to breathe. The insistent desire Rafael had been feeling had vanished, leaving only cold trepidation in its wake. ‘At least then we’ll know.’ And then what? What would happen to their child, to them?

‘Yes.’ Allegra tossed her phone and clutch on a chair and wrapped her arms around herself. With her tumbled, fiery curls and her ice-blue gown she looked like a slender, burning flame, and Rafael wanted to wrap her in his arms, not out of desire now but to offer her comfort. The compulsion was so strong it felt like a pain, breaking open a scar deep inside him, a barely healed wound from when he hadn’t been able to help. To save anyone.

‘I should go to bed,’ Allegra said softly. ‘It’s late.’

‘Allegra…’ He wanted to say something of what he felt, desperately needed to offer her some comfort—and yet what comfort could he give? Tomorrow would bring whatever news it did, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

A shudder racked her body and it felt like a wound to his heart. He hated seeing her suffer, knowing she was afraid, just as he was. Then she lifted her head, regarding Rafael with tear-damp, pain-filled eyes. ‘Goodnight, Rafael,’ she whispered, and walked out of the room.

CHAPTER SEVEN

ALLEGRA COULDN’T GET to sleep. She lay on her bed, staring gritty-eyed at the ceiling, everything leaden inside her. It had been such a magical evening, going to the concert with Rafael. All night excitement had been fizzing like champagne through her blood, bubbles popping inside her head. The music. The mood. The moment when Rafael had looked so sexy and intent…and then the realisation, cold and hard, that this was all ephemeral and tomorrow reality would return with a dreadful thud.

She pressed one hand against the soft swell of her bump. Oh, baby. Stay strong. Be safe. Yet she knew it wasn’t in her baby’s power to be healthy. It wasn’t in hers either.

Around two in the morning she finally rose from bed, knowing sleep wasn’t going to come. She was planning to make herself a cup of herbal tea and then sit out on the terrace, watching the city settle down to sleep, but she stopped on the threshold of her bedroom door, for Rafael was sitting in the living room, dressed only in a pair of loose, drawstring pyjama bottoms, a tumbler of whisky cradled in his hands.

He looked up at her quick intake of breath, giving her a smile that was both sad and wry. ‘You couldn’t sleep either?’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I was going to make some tea. I’d ask if you wanted some, but I see you’ve got something stronger.’

‘I need it.’ Rafael’s voice was hoarse, and pain flashed like lightning across his face.

It surprised her, because although Rafael was doing what he saw as his duty by her, Allegra had assumed, rightly or wrongly, that he didn’t really want this child. He’d said as much back in Rome, and he’d refused to talk about the what if? scenarios until they knew more. She realised she’d assumed he hadn’t really cared, not the way she did, and yet now, looking at the set of his jaw, the slump of his shoulders, she wondered if he shared her fear, her agony. If he longed for their child to live and be strong and healthy as much as she did.

In the kitchen she brewed a cup of chamomile tea and then brought it to the living room, curling up on the opposite side of the sofa from Rafael. He looked unbelievably sexy, stubble shadowing his strong jaw and the perfect, sculpted muscles of his chest on glorious display, a sprinkling of dark hair forming a V down to the low waistband of his pyjamas.

But Allegra wasn’t thinking about how handsome he looked. She was realising how sad he seemed, and it made her ache.

‘I’ve felt the baby kick,’ she said quietly. Rafael turned to look at her, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

‘You have?’

‘Just in the last few days. I didn’t know what it was at first. It feels like bubbles popping inside me. Little flutters.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But they’ve become a bit stronger in the last day or two, almost…almost as if the baby knows. As if he or she is telling me…’ She broke off, her chest tight with the force of her feeling, the strength of her emotion.

Rafael leaned closer, his expression intent. ‘Telling you what?’

‘Telling me that he—or she—wants to live.’ She scanned his face, looking for clues to how he felt, what this could mean—for both of them. ‘That this baby wants to live, no matter what.’

His expression was both intense and unreadable as he stared at her. ‘What exactly do you mean?’ he asked in a low voice.

Allegra let out a shuddering breath. ‘I mean that no matter what the results are tomorrow, even if we know this baby’s life is going to be short and hard, I want to keep him. I want to know this baby, I want to hold him, I want to love him. Or her.’ She let out a trembling laugh and brushed at her eyes. ‘I seem to be rather emotional lately. It must be the pregnancy hormones.’

‘I feel emotional,’ Rafael said, his voice hoarse. ‘This is hard, Allegra, and it might only get harder, for both of us…if you mean what you say.’

‘I do, and I know.’ But did she, really? The words were easy to say—sort of—but the actions that might test them in later months would be far harder. Was she strong enough? There was only one way to find out. ‘What about you?’ she asked quietly. ‘Do you…do you feel differently? Because I won’t hold you to anything, Rafael. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t even want a baby…’

‘I didn’t want you to be pregnant,’ Rafael corrected. ‘And I imagine you didn’t either. We were strangers, Allegra.’

‘We still are,’ she said softly.

‘But this child is real and growing and I want it as much as you do.’ He took a deep breath, meeting her gaze directly. ‘Do you honestly think I would leave you to cope with this alone?’ She was silent for a second, and he drew back, deep hurt scoring his face. ‘Is that the kind of man you think I am?’

‘I don’t know what kind of man you are,’ Allegra confessed. She knew she was hurting him with her words but she had to be honest for both of their sakes. ‘You left me once before, Rafael. You pushed me away, dismissed me out of hand. I’m scared…’ That you’ll do it again. She couldn’t say the words, admit so much.

Rafael’s mouth twisted. ‘We had a one-night stand, Allegra. I admit my exit lines could have used some work, but you can’t judge me by a single conversation.’

‘Or lack of conversation.’

‘If you are going to carry this baby to term,’ Rafael stated, ‘then I am staying with you. No matter what.’ His tone was flat and determined, unyielding as stone. Allegra didn’t know whether she should be heartened or alarmed by the strength of his conviction. Was this simply a matter of responsibility and duty, or the heart?

And what was this going to mean for both of them? For their future? She’d intended on going this alone, because that’s how she did everything. She didn’t want to invite someone into her life, someone who had the power to hurt her, who had already hurt her once before. And yet she couldn’t kick Rafael out either. He was this baby’s father. He had a say, a right, just as much as she did.

Allegra stared down into the fragrant depths of her tea, her emotions a tangled web of confusion, of opposite desires to stay strong, safe and alone—and to run straight into Rafael’s arms. To seek a comfort there that she didn’t even know if he could give.

Inside her their baby kicked, and with a tremulous laugh of surprise she pressed one hand against her belly. Rafael drew a quick breath. ‘Did you feel…?’

‘Yes.’ She looked up, a new shyness coming over her. ‘Do you want to…?’

‘Yes.’ His tone was heartfelt, emboldening her to reach over and take his hand, pressing it over her bump, their fingers interlaced. His palm was warm and strong and she liked the feel of it there. ‘Wait,’ she whispered, and they both remained still, holding their breaths, hoping…

And then it happened. A light kick, right into his palm. Rafael laughed, a sound of total joy. Allegra smiled, feeling tearful again. Everything about this was so much… Rafael, their baby, them.

Rafael kept his palm on her belly and their baby kicked again, stronger this time. He looked up at her, his smile now one of fierce pride. ‘He’s a fighter.’

‘It might be a girl.’

‘Then she is. I don’t care either way, boy or girl. I just want the baby to be…’ He trailed off, a confused torment creasing his features, and Allegra squeezed his hand.

‘Healthy,’ she finished softly. ‘I know.’ Wasn’t that what all parents said? I just want the baby to be healthy. The words sounded trite when you felt assured of the outcome. In this moment of terrible uncertainty they were painfully earnest, and yet it was the not knowing that drew them together, that made Allegra feel as connected to this man, or even more so than she had during that terrible, wonderful night in Rome.

They remained on the sofa, hands interlaced on Allegra’s bump, as minutes ticked past. Their baby kicked a few more times and then settled down, and after a while Allegra fell into a doze, only to wake when she felt Rafael scoop her into his arms.

‘Sorry,’ she mumbled. ‘I didn’t realise I’d fallen asleep…’

‘You’re tired.’ His voice was gruff, a thrum in his chest as Allegra pressed her cheek against the steady and comforting thud of his heart. She felt so treasured and small in his arms, in a way she hadn’t felt in years, if ever.

Rafael carried her into her bedroom, depositing her gently down on the bed. Allegra looked up at him, still half-asleep, missing the feel of his strength and warmth all around her, barely aware of what she was doing and yet knowing she needed him now more than ever. And maybe, just maybe, he needed her as well.