The Disappearance Of Sloane Sullivan

Jason stood behind Sawyer. He flashed me a half smile and mouthed, One.

The excited buzz of being in on a secret Jason bet shot through me as I stepped inside. Jason’s half smile wasn’t the only familiar thing I saw. Walking through his house was like taking a trip back in time. The overstuffed yellow chair in the living room was the same one we used to build forts around. The large round wooden table in the kitchen was the same one I’d eaten at a thousand times. And the brown couch I saw as I followed the guys into the rec room in the basement still had the tear on the edge of the right cushion I’d made with a pair of scissors during a bet to see who could make the most paper snowflakes in five minutes.

I peeked around the rec room. Besides the comfy brown couch, there was a coffee table, a couple of beanbag chairs facing a flat-screen TV, a bar with a mini refrigerator in one corner of the room and a Ping-Pong table that dominated the back half. A DVD collection spilled out of the entertainment center onto the floor and two different video game consoles competed for space on the entertainment center’s shelves. I could see why they hung out here.

“Hey, Sloane!” Livie called from a fuzzy beanbag chair.

“Hey,” I replied as I noticed the movie on TV. I raised an eyebrow at Jason. “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

“Sawyer brought it over. He’s got a thing for ’80s movies. We put it on in your honor, but Livie’s been skipping around to her favorite parts.”

It was on one of my favorite parts too: where Ferris leaves Sloane at the end to make his mad dash through people’s backyards in order to beat his parents home. As movie Sloane watches him go, she says, “He’s gonna marry me.” That scene was the real reason I’d picked the name Sloane, because I’d been jealous of that Sloane’s certainty about the future, or at least her ability to even plan for the future. That’s what I wanted as Sloane.

Livie sighed and glanced up at me. “I forgot how good this movie is.”

I studied her as she turned back to the TV. Mark actually said yes to the senior trip. I had the chance to go somewhere by myself for two glorious days and all I needed was a roommate. I knew it wasn’t the smartest idea, but neither was standing in the middle of Jason’s house and nothing bad had happened yet. “I talked to my dad and I’m in for the senior trip.”

Livie squealed and jumped up, spinning me around in a giant hug.

“You’re making my dizzy!”

Livie pulled back and clapped. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

My plastered-on grin mirrored her own. I was definitely not used to this much girl time. Two days of freedom better be worth this. I stepped away from Livie and nodded at the plain white T-shirts and permanent markers scattered across the coffee table. “So what’s the plan for the shirts?”

Sawyer fell into the couch with a sigh. “We have no idea. We’ve been trying to come up with something related to our double first names for weeks, but we can’t think of anything good.”

“Just do whatever,” Livie said as she reclaimed her spot in the beanbag chair and pulled out her phone. “It’s not that big a deal.”

As I walked behind her on my way to the couch, I caught sight of a photo Livie had open on her phone: sunset over the brightest blue water I’d ever seen. The sun was a fiery ball at the edge of the sky, turning the clouds around it amazing shades of orange and pink and purple. “That picture’s beautiful.”

Livie glanced up. “Oh, thanks.”

“Where is it?”

“Um, nowhere, really. Not like this.” She tapped the screen and frowned. “I’ve been editing it, trying to make the colors really pop, but I can’t get it right.” Her eyes narrowed at something I couldn’t see. “I like to get creative with reality.”

I sat next to Sawyer on the couch and smoothed out a T-shirt. If Livie could be creative, so could I. “What if we do something that’s not related to first names?”

Jason pulled a beanbag chair to the edge of the coffee table and sat. “Like what?”

I eyed Sawyer. “Superheroes.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Superheroes?”

“Yeah. I mean, I got run into in the hall today because someone here supposedly has superhero muscles.”

Livie snorted.

Sawyer flexed his arm, which was surprisingly muscular for such a skinny guy. “There’s no supposedly about it.” He leaned closer to me. “Wanna touch it?”

I pushed his arm away with one finger. “Why don’t you use that muscle to draw a superhero symbol?”

Jason tapped a marker on the coffee table. His eyes locked on mine and that half smile appeared.

Livie plopped onto the couch next to me, her phone nowhere in sight for once. “I’m totally being Black Widow.”

“Are Superman and Supergirl a thing?” Sawyer shifted so his leg was pressed against mine. “Because that’s who we should be.”

I leaned in and whispered in his ear, “I’m pretty sure Superman and Supergirl are cousins.”

He chuckled. “Ooh, naughty.”

Livie gave me an amused smile, one eyebrow slightly raised in question. My cheeks grew hot. I hadn’t been trying to flirt—just to give a smartass answer like I’d give to Mark at home—but maybe that’s how it looked. “Um, where’s the bathroom?”

Livie pointed over her shoulder. “Down that hall, first door on your right.”

“Don’t try the door on the left,” Sawyer warned. “It’s like the Room of Requirement or platform nine and three-quarters or something else that requires magical blood to enter.”

I paused at the entrance to the hall, a slight smile on my lips. “Should I have brought my wand?”

Sawyer grinned. “Nope. The Door That Must Not Be Opened is wand-proof.”

“What if I had the special platform nine and three-quarters ticket? Could I walk through it?”

“Even that wouldn’t work.” Sawyer snatched a marker out of Livie’s hand. “It’s J’s room, which is strictly off-limits to anyone but him.”

I opened my mouth but Livie spoke first. “Don’t ask. Neither of us has ever been inside. It’s a weird Jason thing, like the bets.”

I peeked at Jason, who was studying a blank T-shirt and biting the inside of his cheek. It’s not weird, it’s sweet.

“But if you come back over here,” Sawyer drawled, “I’ll show you something that’s nine and three-quarters.”

“Gross!” Livie smacked him on the back of his head. “That’s no way to talk to someone you just met. And physically impossible.”

“Fine,” he grunted. “Would it be better if I said, ‘Come back over, I need help whomping my willow.’”

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “You did not just turn Harry Potter into something dirty!”

“Oh, come on!” Sawyer responded. “You can come back. I promise I’ll be gentle when I Slytherin.”

My eyes grew wide.

“My name may not be Luna, but I sure can Lovegood.”

I clamped my hands over my ears. “Stop! You’re ruining one of my favorite book series!”

I looked at Jason. His eyes were gleaming. Two, three, four, five, he mouthed in quick succession. I win.

I groaned, but couldn’t help laughing as I turned into the hall. My smile grew even larger when I realized it was lined with framed photographs.

There were some I didn’t recognize, but many more I did. Five-year-old Jason on Christmas morning straddling a bike that matched the one I’d found under my tree. Seven-year-old Jason with a wide front-teeth-missing smile and a dripping ice cream cone. Ten-year-old Jason sitting in the lifeguard chair at sunset, laughing that giant childhood laugh of his I hadn’t seen here yet. I’d been there for all of them—I’d even taken the lifeguard picture myself. So when I came to a closed door on the left side of the hall that had to be Jason’s room, I didn’t care that I couldn’t see what it looked like. I knew Jason. I didn’t need to see inside to find out who he was now. I grinned and whirled around to find the bathroom.

Instead, I found myself staring at a photo of two women at the beach. And not just any beach. Home. Jason’s mom’s long brown hair was blowing in the breeze and she had her arm around a beautiful woman with dirty-blond chin-length hair, a million freckles and a thin scar through her left eyebrow. They were sitting on colorful beach towels, wearing the matching purple bathing suits their kids had given them for Mother’s Day the month before. The sides of their heads were resting together and their smiles were as bright as the sun shining down on them. I reached up and touched the blonde’s face with a fingertip as tears welled in my eyes. I hadn’t seen my mom in almost six years.

I couldn’t stop my leg from bouncing as I glanced at the man sitting next to me in the too-cold room. He wore jeans and a navy T-shirt, not a suit like the guy who’d just taken my dad into the motel hallway, but I knew he was one of them. His shaggy brown hair and big brown eyes made him look younger than the rest of the suits I’d seen that day, but he was too serious to be anything other than an agent.

He rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. I decided I liked him, even though he hadn’t really said much to me. He was the only one who looked like I felt: sad and exhausted and totally freaked out.

“No...no!”

I flinched at the cries that rang through the paper-thin motel walls. My dad’s cries.

I jumped up, heart pounding, desperate to help him, but the man grabbed my arm. I stared at him through tears I couldn’t blink away. He silently shook his head.

I hadn’t known I’d been asking a question with that stare until he answered, but now I wanted him to take the answer back. “What’s your name?” I whispered, my voice cracking.

He held my gaze for a long moment. “Agent Markham. But everyone calls me Mark.”

“You’re wrong, Mark.” I tried to say it as forcefully as I could, but that didn’t make it true.

When we’d left home that afternoon, the agents said they were sending someone to get my mom from work to speed things up, and that we’d all meet at this motel. We’d been waiting for hours. She hadn’t shown up.

Mark swallowed hard. “They got to her first.”

The words were like ice in my veins.

“She left work before we got there. Her boss had given her the afternoon off and she was coming home to surprise you and we didn’t know. We tried but...they got to her before we did.”

“No.” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep the truth out. “No. She’s just late, that’s all. She’s coming.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was the softness of Mark’s voice, barely above a whisper, that made me look at him. And his eyes did me in. They were so full of sorrow and anger and guilt that I couldn’t pretend he was lying.

My whole body started to shake as tears streamed down my face.

Mark knelt in front of me and held me tight and even though I’d just met him, I didn’t want him to let go. I forced the words out between shaky breaths: “Are they going to find us too?”

This time when he spoke, Mark’s voice wasn’t gentle. “Not if I have anything to do with it.”

I wiped away my tears so I could see the photo more clearly. I hadn’t been allowed to take any pictures with me when we left, but it hadn’t mattered because my mom was supposed to be with us. Now I tried to soak up her smile and memorize her face. Because I’d forgotten exactly what she looked like.

“You’re going down!”

Sawyer’s shout from the rec room made me jump. I hurried into the bathroom, flushed the toilet—appearances—and splashed cold water on my face to get rid of the blotchiness the tears had caused. I walked back to the rec room as casually as I could and found Sawyer and Livie in the middle of an intense video-game battle that involved both of them yelling at the TV. I walked over to Jason, who was sitting on the couch, just starting to draw a yellow line on a T-shirt. “Hey, I need to get going.”

He frowned. “Already?”

“Yeah. I...I totally forgot the cable guy is supposed to come hook everything up today. I promised my dad I’d be there. Sorry about not helping with the shirts.” I started to back away.

“It’s okay. Do you want me to walk you out?”

“No. I don’t want to interrupt the fun.” I gestured to the TV. “I’ll show myself out. Tell everyone I said bye, okay? Thanks for having me over.” I rushed up the steps before he could stop me.

Because I didn’t own a car and Jason’s house was only a few blocks from mine, I’d walked there. But as I closed Jason’s front door behind me, I cursed my inability to make a quick getaway. I eyed the cars parked along the street, wishing I could start one up and escape faster. Instead, I hustled down the block and kept crossing streets and ducking through people’s backyards, checking over my shoulder as I went, until I ended up several blocks away in the opposite direction of my place. If anyone had tried to follow me, I was pretty sure I’d lost them.

I sat on a bench and buried my face in my hands. The picture of my mom burned bright behind my eyelids. Even though I wasn’t near the beach, I could hear the crash of the waves, feel the hot sand on my feet, smell the way my mom’s perfume and suntan lotion mixed to create the flower-coconut scent I’d loved. Silent tears ran down my cheeks and I shook my head at my own stupidity for breaking down in the middle of the hall where anyone could’ve seen.

You’re not her. Just because things felt familiar back there does not mean you’re that girl anymore. You can never be her again. Too much has happened. Jason doesn’t know you and you don’t know him. You’re Sloane, and he needs to believe you’re Sloane.

I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. Blend in, follow the rules from here on out and don’t let anyone get too close. Especially not your former best friend.

Five

“Shh.”

The whispered hush sounded loud in the cramped space where I was crouching. My knees scraped against something rough as I covered my nose and mouth with my hands. I was breathing too loud and too fast. I had to be quiet.

Something solid blocked my front and something sharp and jagged was poking my back. I needed to see what was going on, but there was only darkness. Even though it was nearly impossible, I tried to move. A hand clamped down on my arm and it hurt.

Pop! Pop, pop!

The explosions were so loud, so close, that my hands flew to my ears. My dad’s face appeared out of the darkness, right in front of me. His nose was practically touching mine and his eyes were wild with fear. He whispered a single word: “Run.”

I began to shake. I tried to jerk away from the person holding me down because I had to run. Even though I had no idea where I was, my dad had told me to run.

“Hey,” a gentle voice said. “Kid, wake up.”

My eyes flew open.

Mark was sitting on the side of my twin bed, studying my face. He squeezed my shoulders. “You’re okay.”

I shrugged out of his grip and sat up.

“Did you have the nightmare again?”

I nodded and took a deep breath, willing my heart to slow down.

He pursed his lips. “Anything new?”

“No.” I ran my fingers through my hair, loosening the sweaty strands stuck to my neck. “Exactly the same as always.”

He exhaled and ran his hands along his jeans. “It’s been a while since you’ve had it.”

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why it happened now.”

Yesterday. Jason. My mom. Take your pick. “I don’t know.”

I hugged my knees, waiting for the pinpricks of unease in my chest to settle. It was the same feeling I got every time I had the nightmare, every time it felt like someone was watching me. And the same feeling I’d had for a split second two nights ago when I thought I saw that flash on the school’s brick wall. I frowned. “It wouldn’t make a difference if I did remember something, would it? I mean, not now that they have the confession, right?”

“It wouldn’t change anything if you remembered.” Mark smiled but his voice was almost too confident, like he was trying to convince himself of that fact instead of me.

I took another deep breath.

“Well,” he said as he stood, “I’ve got to get to work.” A grin played on his lips. “And you, my friend, are late for school.”

I glanced at my alarm clock and winced. I must’ve slept straight through the alarm. “Shoot! Why didn’t you wake me?”

He made a circling gesture around my room with his finger and stopped when he was pointing at a box of tampons sitting on top of my dresser. “Because I don’t want to see stuff like that. I only come in here if you’re yelling ‘Run!’ at the top of your lungs.”

“I wouldn’t have to keep that in my room if you’d rented a house with more than one bathroom,” I grumbled as I jumped out of bed. “I missed the bus. If I’m ready in five minutes, can you drop me off at school?”

He pretended to shield his eyes and fumble his way out of my room. “Why do you think I rented a house with one bathroom? So there was so little space it would force you to corral all of your girly stuff in the one place I never have to enter. No more opening drawers in bathrooms to find curling irons and pink razors and weird things that look like torture devices but I think have to do with eyelashes.” He peeked his head around my door frame. “What exactly is the purpose of bronzer? I’ve always wondered.”

I threw one of my Chucks at him. He easily ducked out of the way.

“We’re leaving in four minutes!” he called from down the hall.

* * *

I swallowed the last of my Pop-Tart as I shoved my way through the crowd of almost five hundred seniors buzzing with excitement in the school’s outside courtyard, grateful the scavenger hunt hadn’t started yet. Now all I had to do was find my team.

I inched my way around a group of girls wearing matching Everyone Loves a Cheerleader T-shirts, craning my neck to search for Sawyer, Livie and Jason. I spotted them across the courtyard. Both Sawyer and Livie had their backs to me, but Jason was almost facing me. He bit his thumbnail as his eyes jumped from person to person.

“Jason!” I called over the hum of conversation.

His head snapped in my direction. He exhaled and smiled.

I sidestepped a puddle left over from the morning’s rain and took a deep breath as I crossed the courtyard. You can do this, Sloane. I held my hands up in apology when I reached the three of them. “I’m sorry I’m late. I overslept and literally had four minutes to get ready.”

“You got ready in four minutes?” Livie asked.

I self-consciously smoothed my ponytail, which already had tendrils of hair escaping around my face. I hoped the Chucks, jeans and white tank top I’d thrown on after brushing my teeth and splashing cold water on my face in record time didn’t look too horrible. “Um, yeah.”

Livie smiled. “I could never look that good in four minutes.”

Sawyer leaned toward me. “If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you know the meaning of moderation?”

Jason coughed at the same time Sawyer said, “Huh?”

“It’s too soon, Sawyer. I’m still traumatized from the Harry Potter lines yesterday. You have to space them out more. When they come rapid fire like this, they lose their effect.”

“Huh,” Sawyer repeated, like the thought had never occurred to him.

Livie threw an arm around my shoulder. “Thank God you made it. They just announced we can’t have teams this year. Apparently, last year the teams were too big and everyone split up their lists and sent people off individually and the whole scavenger hunt was done in, like, eight minutes. We’re only allowed to work in pairs this time, and we were afraid one of us was going to have to go solo if you didn’t show.”

So that’s why Jason looked so worried.

Livie stepped away from me and next to Jason, the back of her hand brushing against his.

Crap. The ramifications of pairs suddenly dawned on me. I was going to be stuck with Sawyer and his pickup lines.

Sawyer shook out the T-shirt he had crumpled in one hand and held it out to me. “We can still match though.”

I bit my lip to keep from smiling at the drawing on the shirt, the same drawing I realized was on all of their shirts. “What kind of superhero symbol is that?”

But I knew exactly what it was. It was a large yellow lightning bolt, in the middle of which sat a white star on a blue background surrounded by two red rings, and on either side of the last red ring were three yellow lines that looked like wings. It was the same mashup Jason created when we were little because he could never decide which superhero to play, the same one he doodled in notebooks and used as the logo for his dream garage band as we got older.

“No one could agree so Jason came up with this.” Livie looked down at her shirt, nose wrinkled.

I slipped my shirt on over my tank top. “It looks awesome.” I traced the S in the middle of the star with one finger. “Scavenger Hunt Sloane is ready for action.”

Sawyer opened his mouth.

I pointed at him. “No action comments from you.”

He grinned as Mrs. Thompson, the principal, approached with a large stack of papers in her well-manicured hands. “Jason, how many pairs do you have?”

“Two.”

She held out two lists. Jason grabbed one and Sawyer took the other.

They both scanned the lists as Mrs. Thompson moved on to the next cluster of seniors. “Yes!” Jason murmured.

“What’d you get?” Sawyer asked.

Jason held the list flat against his chest. “I’m not telling. You might try to sabotage my items just so you can beat me.”

“Oh, it’s going to be like that, huh?” The possibility of a wager gleamed in Sawyer’s eyes. “We were going to be the group to win it all and now it’s me against you?”

Jason’s bright eyes flicked to me. “Hey, Sloane, wanna be my partner and help me prove to Sawyer that even with the new girl, who knows nothing about this school or where to find anything on this list, I can still beat him?”

My stomach tightened. Me and Jason. Alone.

Disappointment flashed on Sawyer’s and Livie’s faces, but Sawyer rallied first. “Oh, you’re on. What do you say, Liv? Should we make these two pay for plotting against us?”

“Hey! I didn’t have anything to do with this bet,” I reminded him. “New girl, remember?”

“You’re right,” Sawyer agreed. He bumped Livie with his hip. “Should we make J pay for his poor choice of partner?”

“Hey!” I repeated, a wave of competitiveness flowing through me. “Now you’re going down.”

Livie chuckled. She entwined her arm with Sawyer’s. “Partner, I believe we should.”

The whine of microphone feedback interrupted the partner showdown before the stakes of the bet could be set. “Quiet down, people.” Mrs. Thompson’s voice echoed across the courtyard from where she was precariously balancing on top of a bench in heels taller than I’d ever seen. “Okay. The rules are simple: find each item on your list, take a picture as proof that you found the correct item, and return here where I’ll be waiting to check your pictures against your list. The first pair to accurately complete their list wins and gets to pick a song to be played at graduation. Remember, every list has different items so following other teams around won’t help you. And if you don’t have a phone, I have several digital cameras up here the Photography Club is generously letting us borrow. So see me if you need one. Any questions?” Excited whispers rose from the crowd as people began shuffling toward the edges of the courtyard. “Then let this year’s senior scavenger hunt begin!”