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The Year I lost when I had a Stroke
Gerda Nischan
The Year I lost when I had a Stroke
AUGUST VON GOETHE LITERATURVERLAG
FRANKFURT A.M. • LONDON
Die neue Literatur, die – in Erinnerung an die Zusammenarbeit Heinrich Heines und Annette von Droste-Hülshoffs mit der Herausgeberin Elise von Hohenhausen – ein Wagnis ist, steht im Mittelpunkt der Verlagsarbeit.
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Lektorat: Dr. Annette Debold
Titelbild: Gerda Nischan
ISBN 978-3-8372-1995-1
Inhaltsverzeichnis
Part I
– Chapter One -
The Stroke
- Chapter Two-–
Exploring with Gaby
– Chapter Three-–
Urgent Care
- Chapter Four -
The Hospital
– Chapter Five –
The Reading
– Chapter Six-–
Coming Home
Foreword
On Monday, April 27, 2015, I learned my mother was hospitalized after a stroke. From that day onward, I didn’t know what lay ahead, but I knew I had to do whatever was needed to help her survive. Like my mother, I have always faced challenges head-on rather than hiding from them. That made my decisions relatively easy, because my focus was on making progress – any level of progress.
From a long distance, I had to immerse myself into a world I knew little about and this meant recruiting others with various skills that could be applied in certain areas. Everyone was important and everyone had a role – whether they worked in medicine, brought flowers, ran errands, or just spent time with my mother during her recovery. The new responsibilities I was suddenly faced with gave me the feeling of having taken on a second full-time job, but I did so gratefully and eagerly because my mother is worth it.
I would not be where I am today personally or professionally if it were not for my loving parents, so there was never a question that I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do for my mother. This book will give a bit of insight into our experiences during the healing process, and hopefully it will serve as a good reminder of how important it is to never give up, regardless of the endeavor. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Michael Uwe Nischan
Part I
– Chapter One -
The Stroke
I celebrated my 75th birthday with my best friends, people I truly loved. I was a very healthy person; you can imagine… the last person you would expect to have a stroke!
My doctors were at a loss: I did not have high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, nor was I overweight. I ate a healthy diet, went to a fitness studio every day, had yoga and Pilate classes, a great social life, and great relationships with many interesting people. I had done so much three weeks ago, like traveling by myself anywhere. I had given readings a year before in Los Angeles at the PEN conference, reading from my own published books. I was a published writer who read at international book fairs… and four weeks after my 75th birthday I had a stroke when I was in a hospital. Would I ever again be able to go to the Frankfurt book fair like I had done so often?
One week after I had returned from my trip to Europe, Germany and Switzerland, I had a stroke. I could not believe it, neither could my doctor who diagnosed it. Days earlier I had been with my family in Germany, celebrating Easter, having Sunday brunch with my family in the Palatinate, and had spent time with my friend Gaby in Martigny, near Geneva, Switzerland. Gaby had been a friend since school days 50 years ago, when we both attended an International School in Bournemouth, England. We had studied English Literature... I remember reading Oscar Wilde. Gaby owned a beautiful apartment in an historic house that had been built in 1725 in Martigny. We kept our friendship alive all these years, visiting each other and included our husbands. My husband had become a very well-known history professor and her husband – Jean-Claude Rouiller – was a famous painter. I remember we all attended, as their guests, a wonderful vernissage in Verbier in Valais in 1976 where her husband’s work was exhibited. It was an unforgettable experience for my husband Bodo and me and we met the most exciting people. Most of the European artists in Verbier were there.
- Chapter Two-–
Exploring with Gaby
I spent several days with Gaby exploring this beautiful city, eating outdoors and talking of what seemed important at the time. We strolled in the warm sunshine while the white snow caps of the mountains glistened beautifully. I remember how I felt so happy and grateful that I was spending this time with her. We had so much to say to each other and we laughed a lot. We went shopping and I bought fabulous Italian shoes and black leather boots. That evening we had dinner with her son Blaise, and had wonderful wine and conversation.
We had drinks with Gaby’s friend, a well-known musician who lived nearby. In his beautiful home he had an enormous library as well as a recording studio. I remember that his wife was from Berlin. We listened to his music and I soon had to say good night because the next morning I had to take the train back to Germany.
The next day I remember seeing blooming almond trees along the Weinstrasse while walking with my friend Lothar. His wife had been my best friend and he had lost her to cancer many years earlier, just as I has lost my husband a few years later. I have kept up my friendship with Lothar for at least 50 years and I considered him as part of my family. We took photos of each other on this beautiful day together. Somewhere we had lunch with good wine and later ice cream, and talked about our mates we had lost.
The next morning I strolled through my hometown where I met my sister Christa with her husband and their daughter Anne with her boyfriend. We had a dinner at a restaurant and went for a walk in their beautiful Frankenthal afterwards as we had done many times over the years.
The next morning I took a taxi to Frankfurt so I could take my flight back to America. I sipped on a glass of wine when dinner was served while we were crossing the Atlantic Ocean. I thought to myself, life is just great. I could not have known that later, something like a stroke, was about to change my life.
– Chapter Three-–
Urgent Care
I arrived in Charlotte and took my connecting flight to Greenville. I finally arrived and my German friend Ines picked me up. Th next morning I felt fine and went to my fitness studio for my daily workout. In the gym, I noticed I felt tired. I picked up a few items at the supermarket and relaxed in the afternoon, watching German Television.
I called my brother to let him know I had made it home safely.
Two days later I decided to have myself checked by a doctor at Urgent Care. Strangely, I asked my friend Anne Riggs if she wouldn’t mind to take me because I somehow felt uncertain. Shortly after my arrival, a young doctor took care of me and suggested I should go to Physicians East right away for a cat scan (CT) but he did not say why. Anne drove me there. After the examination I was sent back home. Around 5 pm, I received a call that the CT showed something and that I should get immediately go to the hospital to the ER where the doctor expected me, as fast as possible!
I did not feel sick in any way, but my wonderful friend Ines took me to the hospital. I was taken care of by wonderful nurses and I remember their kindness. Later that night I was taken to various tests that I did not like, especially the MRI. The MRI made me feel as if I were locked in a casket where I would be forever.
The next morning I could not move my legs and the doctor told me that I had had a stroke during the night. I later learned that I must have had a blood clot that caused the moderate stroke.
My wonderful son Michael had learned about my stroke and said: “I know my mother and she will do everything possible to get through this!” He reminded me that the slogan in our house has always been: “Do nothing, get nothing!”
He had heard these words all his life from me and my husband. Now he was reminded of it: “Do nothing, you will get nothing!”
He had heard these words all his life from my husband and me, and now he was reminding me of it: „Do nothing, get nothing!“ I knew I would need to fight with all I had to get through this!
I gave all my strength in therapy. After each therapy session, I would fall into my bed, totally wiped out. Once I fell into a crying spell that lasted for two days, wondering if I would have to live like this, unable to walk properly.
- Chapter Four -
The Hospital
Soon I was in a hospital gown and in bed. I was overwhelmed with what was going to be next. I was not scared but longed to have my husband Bodo with me although knew it would not be possible. He had died 15 years ago of a brain tumor. I thought of the morning of his death, on October 21, 2001.
I remember how I had stood at the window in my living room, watching the hearse that took my husband to the funeral home. I thought of the day we met, our wedding day and also about the day our son was born 18 months later.
And now this, what was going to happen to me in this hospital now?
A nurse said, “I will take you up to the floor for your MRI.” Then I learned that I had had a stroke the previous evening.
My wonderful son Michael, had rushed to visit me when he had learned of my stroke. He made arrangements for me to be moved from the hospital to an assisted living center – Golden Living. Once I was moved here, he came to see me every day until night came. That‘s when he drive back returned to my home, where he had so much work to do – communicating with friends and family, medical staff, and therapists about my progress. He also made many repairs to keep the home in good shape for my return to the future.
At Golden Living, I found myself sitting in a wheelchair with three ladies in the cheerful sunlit breakfast room. I had been introduced to all at breakfast as “Miss Gerda,” and that felt strange. Later, after a few more weeks of passing others in the hall ways, people startet calling me „Lady G.“ instead. When I objected they explained I dressed like a lady. I decided they could call me worse things than this so I decided I might as well enjoy my new title “Lady G”.
My friend Ines was collecting my laundry and washed some items herself at her home. She is the most practical, no-nonsense friend I have known. She took care of everything needed – so much so that Michael calls her „Director of Operations.“ She filed my nails, brushed my hair, put cream on my feet and went shopping for all the extras the nursing home could not provide. She brought food that I missed like special fruit or yogurt and she bought clothing when I started in the rehab.
Friends visited regularly with fresh grapes already washed along with raspberries, and dried apricots. Friends also brought me books, and I was grateful that I could read at all... sometimes I fell asleep over a book I was reading. I considered writing a book about my own story, about my stroke. It was so hard to write with one hand, but fortunately my right hand worked. I was determined to do this book.
I decided to share my own experiences with this ordeal.
Most of all it was wonderful that all my friends did not forget me; they visited me with coffee and news they thought I was interested in. Friends brought food, did my hair and did my nails...they were so kind to me. My wonderful son tucked me in nightly and said I should not worry about anything because I was his “number one client”. It made me feel so safe!
With the way I looked and felt after my stroke, I at least wantedto look nice so I wore my scarf and a hint of my Fracas Gardenia perfume.
Eventually I managed to walk across the entire room (with help) and after a few weeks I looked forward to therapy. I suprised all the therapists how soon I succeeded in even going up the stairs in the room and by the distance I could walk. So soon my confidence improved, and I began to think that I really would recover from this stroke an claim my life back!
I looked forward being by myself in my room, just to think about my life and where I could move forward, where I was to go to. My world had changed in a few seconds during the few seconds of my stroke. How could I go back to my life that I had a few weeks ago when I had taken a flight, trains or changed from one train to another with great confidence, yet this morning I had to learn all over again just how to walk? It won’t take long, I said to myself, it won’t take long at all, I decided. I would show them how soon I could get back to the life that I previously had.
My friend Evelyn visited often with flowers from her garden.The nurses upon seeing Evelyn come into the building, would tell me that my flower friend is on her way! The sill on my window was filled with all her flowers and the ones that so many friends send me!
Friends send books, flower, chocolates, cookies, coffee – all kinds of things to make me feel better. I read every day but it is really bad that I cannot type with both hands! It takes too long to type with one hand. I wanted to write a book about my stroke and I thought about this all the time – I was determined to this. Maybe it will help somebody who suffered a stroke, too.
Colleagues of my husband from ECU brought more than I would ever be able to read, piles and piles of books. The best part was that my friends came to see me! I was good at talk and some were surprised that I could talk at all, they thought I was my normal self.
My door was always a little open so I could hear waht people ware saying and could see some of them. I will never forget one gentleman sitting on a bench, eating his sandwich, and he had a big smile on his face as he told another gentleman how proud he was of his daughter who had graduated from college – the first in their family. In the hallways I could hear the bustle of active lives passing by and I wanted to be part of this life! I did not want to be a bed, unable to move...I wanted to be alive!
My friends wanted me to have my life back...I wanted to walk, run, travel, give parties for my friends, have them around me, and laugh with them! I felt I had been moved against my own will to another planet. Then I had a moment of real exitement in the middle of the summer: John O‘Brien called me and told me he planned a music program based on my book “Prisoner of War”. I couldn‘t believe it.
– Chapter Five –
The Reading
Sunday, October 4, 2015 – 5 p.m.
What a wonderful day for me!
The Music House: Fall 2015 Series
The Music House
408 West 5th Street, Greenville NC 27834
Saturday September 26, 2015 7:00p.m.
Letters to a Prisoner of War
An evening of reading, literature, history and music
of World War II,
based on Gerda Nischan’s new book
“LETTERS to a Prisoner of War”
Gerda Nischan, reader – Dr. Michael Gross, historian
Jessie Martin, soprano – Mollye Otis, piano
The letters in this book show what happened during World War II not only to the soldiers fighting on the front, but also to those waiting at home, the families. And, once, the was over, the struggle for the survival continued, in the prisoner camps, and at home for the starving families, who wait for the prisoners to come home.
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