Reunited By Their Baby

She glanced towards the lich gate but there was no sign of Callum. Whether he would seek her out again, she had no idea. It didn’t really matter. Nothing he said could make up for what he had done, no excuses about letters taking months to reach him would change things. The fact was that he had left her, left her when she had needed him most of all. And that was the only thing that counted.

* * *

Callum had managed to book himself a room in the local pub. He carried his bag up the narrow staircase and opened the bedroom door. The room was small and rather cramped with double dormer roofs taking up most of the ceiling space but he didn’t care. It was somewhere to sleep tonight because one thing was certain: he wouldn’t be sleeping in Beth’s bed!

Frustration ate away at him as he tossed his bag onto the bed. Maybe he hadn’t expected red carpet treatment but he had hoped for a better reception than that. It was obvious that Beth wasn’t going to forgive him in a hurry and it made him see how foolish he’d been to hope that she would. He sighed wearily. Had he really thought that he could win her round with a few well-chosen words? That he could tell Beth what had happened and that she would just accept it? He must have been living in cloud cuckoo land if he had!

No way was this going to be easy. He would have to work at it, gain her trust, make her understand that he hadn’t ignored her or their baby, and then convince her that he wanted to be involved in their lives.

Fear trickled coldly down his spine at the thought. He knew nothing about what it took to be a father, did he? Most people learned the art from their own father but he certainly wasn’t going to use his as a role model. He would be batting in the dark, striking out this way and that in the hope that he would somehow discover how to be a good parent. What if he failed? What if he tried his best but still couldn’t measure up to the role? He couldn’t bear to imagine the harm it might cause his daughter if he flunked it. His heart caught. He couldn’t bear to imagine Beth’s contempt either if that happened.

* * *

Beth collected Beatrix from the childminder’s house and took her home. Polly had wanted her to take the baby to the church but Beth had decided not to risk it. At almost ten months old Beatrix was attempting to walk and soon became frustrated if she was made to sit still for any length of time. The thought of her daughter creating a fuss during the service had made Beth decide to leave her with Alison, the childminder. Now she was doubly glad that she had. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to allow Callum to see her. After all, if he had been that interested in his daughter then he would have been in touch before now, although, according to Callum, it hadn’t been his fault, had it?

The thought nagged away at her as she got Beatrix ready for bed. The little girl loved water and Beth let her splash away in the bath for longer than usual. She rarely spent any time apart from her and she had missed her that day, although she would have to get used to being without her. She was due to return to work in a couple of weeks’ time now that her maternity leave was coming to an end and Beatrix would be looked after by Alison. While Beth knew the other woman would take good care of her, it would be a wrench to leave her. Still, it was what she had to do if she was to provide for her daughter. Maybe Beatrix was destined to have only one parent but Beth didn’t intend that she would miss out, financially or emotionally.

Her mouth thinned as she lifted Beatrix out of the bath and wrapped her in a towel. One loving parent was more than enough and far better than having someone unreliable in her life like Callum!

* * *

The pub served food so Callum had something to eat then went back up to his room. He had spent almost thirty-six hours on the go and he was bone-tired. He desperately needed to sleep and lay down on the bed, fully clothed, but he couldn’t settle. He kept thinking about what had happened with Beth and knew that he wouldn’t be able to rest until he had resolved at least some of the issues with her.

In the end, he got up and left the pub, taking his time as he walked to the cottage. He had no idea what he was going to say to her when he got there but he needed to convince Beth that he had been telling the truth about her letter failing to reach him for so long. At least, it would be a start if he could do that, a small step towards convincing her about all the rest. Despite what she thought, he did care about their daughter. He cared a lot, far more than he would have expected, in fact. He had a child and even though he had never really wanted a family of his own, he intended to do his very best for her...

If only Beth would let him.

The thought felt like a lead weight inside him. Callum was very aware that Beth would have the deciding vote when it came to a decision about his input into their daughter’s life. Bearing in mind how she had reacted earlier, it seemed unlikely that she would let him have anything to do with her, and he was devastated at the thought that he might not be able to play any part in his child’s life.

He stopped outside the cottage, wondering how best to approach this. He might only get this one chance and he couldn’t afford to waste it. Maybe it had hurt to be treated so coldly by Beth before but his feelings didn’t matter. It was his daughter who mattered, the child he and Beth had conceived against all the odds that last night.

Callum found his thoughts winging back to that night and he shuddered. He had only gone to see Beth because the papers finalising their divorce had come through that morning. For some reason he still couldn’t explain, he had felt that he’d had to acknowledge the ending of their marriage in person. What he had never expected was that they would end up in bed together. He had honestly thought that their desire for one another had died, but that night it had felt just like it had in the beginning. The feel of her hands on his skin, the brush of her lips against his, had transformed their lovemaking into something magical. Special. Something he had never felt before and knew he wouldn’t feel again.

His heart ached with a sudden searing pain. He had loved her so much and knew that she had loved him too—how could they have lost sight of that?

Beth tiptoed to the nursery window. Beatrix had fallen asleep and she didn’t want to wake her. Reaching up, she went to draw the curtains then paused when she caught sight of Callum standing outside. Her heart leapt even though she’d half expected that he would seek her out again. All of a sudden, she wasn’t sure what to do. If she let him in then he would only repeat what he had said earlier and she couldn’t see any point in that. He had claimed that it had taken months for her letter to reach him but did she believe him? If he could lie about loving her then he could lie about that too!

Beth felt a wave of anger wash over her as she drew the curtains then made her way downstairs. Opening the front door, she stared, stony-faced, at the man standing outside on the step. He had his hand raised in readiness to knock and she glared at him. ‘Beatrix is asleep and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t wake her up.’

‘Oh. Right.’

He looked momentarily disconcerted, which was rare for him. Callum’s confidence was one of the things that had attracted her to him when they had first met. They had both been invited to a mutual friend’s birthday party in London, a noisy affair that had grown rowdier as the evening had worn on. Although most of the people there had been similar in age to her, Beth had found their behaviour childish. Their main aim seemed to be to drink as much as they could but getting drunk wasn’t something she planned to do.

She was due in work the following day and had no intention of turning up with a hangover, so when one of the men had tried to persuade her to take part in their drinking game, she had refused. The situation had turned ugly then. Beth had felt really frightened when he had grabbed hold of her and forced the glass to her lips, and that’s when Callum had stepped in.

He hadn’t said a word as he’d removed the glass from the other man’s hand and placed it on a table, but his expression had said it all. The man had immediately let her go and hurried away. Only then had Callum spoken and all he’d done was ask her if she was ready to leave. They had left the party and found an all-night café down by the docks. The time had flown past as they had talked about their lives over mugs of tea.

Callum had explained that he worked for an aid agency and that he had only recently returned from India. It was very different from the career path Beth had chosen and she was intrigued to hear more, not that the conversation was in any way one-sided when he’d seemed equally fascinated by what she had done. She had never met anyone who was as easy to talk to as Callum and she’d found herself telling him things she had told no one else. By the time they left the café, she was already half in love with him...

‘Look, Beth, I know you said before that you didn’t want to hear what I had to say but it’s important that we sort this out.’

The urgency in his voice brought her back to the present, although it was hard to rid her mind of the memories. They had been so good together, true soul mates, totally attuned to one another, until she had decided that she wanted them to have a baby. Would their relationship have lasted if she hadn’t made that decision? She had no idea. However, it was that thought that made her step back so Callum could come in. If she was even partly responsible for ruining what they’d had then she owed him this at least.

‘Come into the sitting room,’ she said shortly, leading the way.

Callum followed her in, smiling when he saw the basket of toys tucked under the coffee table. ‘I see our daughter’s into cars rather than dolls.’

‘She loves anything that has wheels.’ Beth sat down on the chair, leaving Callum to have the sofa. It would have been too hard to sit next to him and recall all the other times they had sat there, cuddled up together. It was something else she didn’t want to dwell on and she sprang to her feet. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. What d’you want—tea or coffee?’

‘Neither, thanks.’ He grimaced. ‘I drank so much tea and coffee on the journey back here that I’m awash with it.’

‘Oh, I see.’ Beth hesitated but she really didn’t want anything to drink either. It had been more a delaying tactic, but perhaps it would be better to get this over with. The sooner Callum had said his piece, the sooner he would leave and things would get back to normal. It was a relief when he carried on.

‘I got here as quickly as I could, Beth. Once I received your letter, I contacted the agency and told them that I needed to return to England immediately.’ He shrugged. ‘All right, I’ll admit that it took a couple of weeks to make the arrangements but there was nothing I could do about that. It was out of my hands.’

He sounded sincere enough and Beth found herself wavering. Was he telling her the truth or was it merely some elaborate tale he had dreamed up to explain his absence? The Callum she had known in the past had never lied to her. Or at least she had thought he hadn’t done so, she amended swiftly. She didn’t want to think that he was lying to her now but how could she trust him after what he had done? He had walked away even though he had claimed to love her. He had even told her that on their last night together, told her that he loved her and that he would always love her. She had taken it to mean that he had changed his mind, that the divorce had been a mistake, and that he wanted them to get back together.

Tears filled her eyes as she recalled how devastated she had felt when she had woken in the morning to find him gone. No, if Callum had truly loved her then he would have stayed.

* * *

Callum could tell things weren’t going well. Beth had tears in her eyes now and he didn’t imagine they were tears of joy either. He searched his mind for the right words, words that would convince her he deserved another chance, but in his heart he knew there was nothing he could say to make up for what he had done. He hadn’t been here when she had needed him. He hadn’t been here for her or their daughter and there was no point explaining how bad he felt about it when she wasn’t interested in anything he had to say. Beth didn’t want him in her life any more and the pain that thought caused him made him suck in his breath.

He stood up abruptly, his legs trembling so hard that he wasn’t sure if they would hold him, but he refused to let her think that he was playing for sympathy.

‘I didn’t come here to upset you, Beth. It’s the last thing I want to do. I’ve told you the truth but I can see that I was wrong to expect you to believe me.’ He spread his hands apart in frustration. ‘If there was anything I could do to convince you then I’d do it, but I doubt if you’d be interested even then. I’m no longer part of your life and I accept that, but I hope you will allow me to be part of our daughter’s life in some way.’ His voice caught then, the words all jammed up inside him as emotion took over, and he stared at the ceiling, not wanting her to guess how agonising it was to know that he might be excluded from his child’s future.

‘I’ll think about it, although I’m not making any promises.’

Beth sounded as choked up as he did and Callum lowered his eyes. His heart scrunched up inside him when he saw the tears that were now trickling down her beautiful face.

‘I’m so sorry,’ he began, but she held up her hand.

‘Don’t! I don’t want to hear anything else.’ She stood up, making it clear that she wanted him to leave.

Callum didn’t say another word as he let himself out. He made his way back to the pub, went up to his room, and lay down on the bed, feeling more wretched than he had felt in his entire life.

Even when he had asked Beth for a divorce, he hadn’t felt this depth of despair. It had been hard then, heart-wrenchingly hard, but he had been so sure it was the right thing to do. With him out of the way, she would be forced to stop trying to conceive and allow her mind as well as her body to rest. That thought had kept him focused, given him strength. He had loved her so much, but he’d had to leave for her sake. Now she didn’t want anything to do with him and even though he understood why she felt that way, the thought ripped a hole right through his heart.

CHAPTER THREE

BETH SPENT THE next few days thinking about what Callum had asked her. The question constantly whizzed around her brain: should she allow him to have access to Beatrix? Her gut reaction was to refuse but she knew that she needed to take her time and think about it. It wasn’t fair to Beatrix to make a snap decision when it could have such a huge impact on her life.

When Daniel Saunders, the senior partner at the practice, phoned to ask her if she would consider returning to work earlier than planned, it was a relief because it gave her something else to think about. Apparently, Sandra Nelson, one of the other GPs, had been rushed into hospital with appendicitis. With Daniel’s wife, Eleanor, on maternity leave, it meant the practice was currently under a huge amount of pressure.

Beth agreed immediately, even though she hated the thought of leaving Beatrix. She went into the surgery on the Monday morning, realising in surprise that she felt a little bit nervous. Even though she had worked there for a number of years, it felt strange to be back, almost as though she was the new girl. However, she soon got over that feeling when Marie, the receptionist, greeted her in delight.

‘Beth!’ Marie shot round the desk and enveloped Beth in a hug. ‘It’s great to have you back. We’ve missed you!’

‘Thank you. I’ve missed you too,’ Beth replied, and realised that she meant it. Although she loved Beatrix to bits, she enjoyed her job and had missed the daily contact with her colleagues and patients. She glanced around the waiting room, smiling when she spotted a couple of early arrivals. ‘Not much has changed, I see. The early birds are still here.’

‘Too right!’ Marie agreed, laughing. ‘It’s business as usual, although Eleanor’s on maternity leave and Bernard has finally retired, though I expect you know that already.’

‘I do, but it’s nice to be reminded.’ Beth rolled her eyes. ‘I’m suffering from a bad case of baby brain and keep forgetting things.’

‘Don’t worry, it will get better, although it could take some time before you’re functioning properly,’ Marie replied wryly. ‘I remember how long it took me to feel halfway normal after I’d had my two.’

‘Don’t!’ Beth laughed. ‘You’re scaring me to death.’ She looked round and smiled when she saw Daniel coming along the corridor. ‘Marie was just explaining the pitfalls of motherhood to me.’

‘A bit late for that, I’d have thought,’ he answered, laughing. He kissed Beth on the cheek. ‘Thank you so much for doing this. When Sandra’s husband phoned and told me what had happened, I didn’t know what we were going to do. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when you said you’d come back to work earlier than planned.’

‘It isn’t a problem,’ Beth assured him as they headed to his room. ‘I dropped Beatrix off at the childminder’s house and I have to say that she didn’t appear to be the least bit worried about me leaving her. She was more interested in playing with the other children to miss her mum.’

‘Good. It’s never easy when you leave them for the first time, whether it’s with a childminder or on their first day at school. Why, I even got all choked up when we saw Nathan off to Australia,’ he admitted, referring to his nineteen-year-old son who was currently away on his gap year. ‘How daft is that?’

‘It isn’t daft at all,’ Beth assured him, smiling. ‘Although you’ll have to toughen up now that you have Mia. It won’t be long before she has a whole load of “firsts” to get through.’

‘Don’t!’ Daniel shuddered at the thought of going through it all again with his baby daughter. ‘Anyway, enough of that. I just wanted to check that you’re up to speed. You’ll be covering Hemsthwaite Surgery while Sandra’s off. I don’t think you’ve worked there before, have you?’

‘No. I’d gone on maternity leave when you introduced the new system so that the staff here could take turns working there.’

‘I thought so. It’s been very useful, I have to say. Although some patients use both surgeries, the majority tend to stick to one or the other. The new system gives everyone a chance to get to know all our patients and that can only be a good thing. Obviously, you’ll have access to everyone’s notes via the computer so if one of our patients does turn up there, it won’t be a problem,’ he added.

‘It sounds great. I’m looking forward to getting back to work,’ Beth explained, truthfully.

‘Good. I’m delighted to have you back too. We’ve been really pushed recently, although I’m hoping that things are going to improve. If you’re agreeable, of course.’

‘You want me to do some hours here as well?’ Beth queried, wondering why Daniel sounded so grave all of a sudden.

‘No, not at all. Covering for Sandra is more than enough at the moment.’ He paused and Beth felt her nerves tighten. She was actually holding her breath as she waited for him to continue.

‘We desperately need more cover here, though. It was hard enough when there was just Eleanor and me, but now that I’m on my own, it’s impossible to keep on top of all the work. I’ve been trawling the agencies to find a locum but there’s nobody suitable willing to work in this part of the world.’ He sighed. ‘Beautiful countryside can’t hold a candle to the bright city lights, it seems.’

‘It must be difficult,’ she murmured, wondering where this was leading. Daniel rarely prevaricated and that he was doing so now set all her internal alarm bells ringing.

‘It is. Which is why I was delighted when I had a phone call from someone I not only know can do the job, but who will also get on with the rest of the team.’ He looked her straight in the eyes. ‘Callum has asked if he can have a job here, Beth. While I know he’s ideal, I don’t want to cause any problems for you, so it’s your call. What shall I tell him?’

* * *

Callum switched off his phone, stunned by what he had just heard. Daniel had called to say that the job was his if he still wanted it. Daniel had been quite blunt when Callum had asked him if there was a vacancy. He had made no bones about the fact that he would need to ask Beth how she felt about Callum working at the surgery. It was the fact that she had agreed that surprised him most of all. Did it mean that she was willing to give him another chance?

He cut that thought dead. There could be a dozen different reasons why Beth had agreed to him working at The Larches, so he shouldn’t go jumping to conclusions. He had spent three wretched days, too wrapped up in his own misery to think clearly. Then, gradually, his mind had started to clear and he had realised what he needed to do. He wasn’t going to give up. He was going to find a way to convince Beth that he cared about their daughter. Maybe he would never be able to convince her that he cared about her too, but he had to accept that.

Staying in Beesdale was the first step and he couldn’t believe his luck when he heard someone mention in the pub one night that the surgery was desperately in need of another doctor. He had phoned Daniel immediately and explained that he was back in Beesdale and looking for a job. Although he hadn’t gone into detail, he had also explained about the delay in receiving Beth’s letter. It had obviously reassured Daniel to some extent, but he had still added the proviso that he would need to consult Beth before he could take Callum on. And it appeared she hadn’t raised any objections. Even though Callum had told himself not to leap to any conclusions, he couldn’t help it.

If Beth had hated the idea of him staying in Beesdale then she would never have given the go-ahead for him to work there.

* * *

Beth found herself starting to relax once she had seen her first patient. Whether it was the shock of hearing that Callum intended to stay in Beesdale or first-day-back nerves, she had felt incredibly tense when she had arrived at the Hemsthwaite surgery. However, focusing on her patients’ problems had soon taken her mind off everything else, even if it was only a temporary reprieve. She buzzed in her next patient, smiling when Diane Applethwaite came into the room. Diane and her husband, Phil, ran a highly successful sheep farm. Their lamb was renowned throughout the Dales for its quality and flavour. With seven children, plus a brand new grandson on the way, Diane was a very busy woman. She was always full of life so Beth was surprised to see how down she looked that day.

‘Hello, Diane. Come and sit down.’ Beth waited until the other woman was comfortably settled. ‘So what can I do for you?’

‘I’m not sure what to tell you, Dr Andrews. I just feel so tired all the time, as though I’ve got no energy left.’ Diane sighed. ‘It’s not like me at all. Phil must be sick of me moping about all over the place. That’s why I came to see you.’

‘I see. Do you have any other symptoms apart from feeling tired?’ Beth asked, mentally running through a list of possible causes. Anaemia was a possibility as a lot of women suffered from that, especially if their monthly periods were heavy. She glanced at Diane’s notes and checked her age: forty-eight. It could be the menopause, of course; that could cause a wide range of symptoms from tiredness through to mood swings. Hormone replacement therapy could help if that were the case, although it was too soon to make a diagnosis.

‘Not really.’ Diane hesitated. ‘Although I’ve felt sick a few times too.’

‘Anything else?’ Beth prompted when Diane paused again.

‘Well, I’ve not had a period for a while.’ She grimaced. ‘I used to be regular as clockwork but in the past year, I’ve been all over the place. Do you think it’s the change, Dr Andrews?’

‘It’s possible, Diane. You’re forty-eight and it could very well be the start of the menopause. We’ll do some tests, check your hormone levels, and see what they show.’