The Amelia Fang Series

For my marvellous, magnificent,

musical sister Marie!

The memories we’ve shared

are unforgettable and I love you

more than freshly baked cookies xxx

First published in Great Britain 2018

by Egmont UK Limited

The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

Text and illustrations copyright © 2018 Laura Ellen Anderson

The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted

ISBN 978 1 4052 8707 4

eISBN 978 1 4052 9341 9

www.egmont.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available

from the British Library

Printed and bound in Great Britain by the CPI Group

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CONTENTS

MAP OF THE KINGDOMS . . . . . . . . . . . . . vi

MEET THE NOCTURNIANS AND GLITTEROPOLANS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii

1. GOBLIN-SLIME SUPERGLUE . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

2. MY LIFE . . . IN SONG . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

3. SUBLIME. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29

4. PUMPKIN PARADISE PARK . . . . . . . . . . . .43

5. I JUST WANNA PLAY GOBLIN TAG. . . . . 51

6. BAKE FASTER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

7. BAD BOGIES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

8. THE PUMPKIN PATCH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .85

9. WHAT THE BATS IS GOING ON?. . . . . . 93

10. SIT YOUR ROYAL BOTTOM DOWN . . .105

11. LOOSE LIMBS LIBRARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115

12. UNICOOOOOORN! THE TERROR! . . . . .129

13. THE FIELD OF FORGET-ME-NOTS. . . .143

14. PA-DOOF! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .155

15. JUST LIKE ME. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .165

16. LOVE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .175

17. THE PUMPKINS AND THE GRUMPKINS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .185

18. TAKE ‘IM AWAY! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .199

19. PUMPKIN-SHAPED DREAMS. . . . . . . . . .205

CHAPTER 1

GOBLIN-SLIME

SUPERGLUE

On a misty Wednesday night after school,

young vampire Amelia Fang sat in her

bedroom with her pet pumpkin, Squashy,

surrounded by complete and utter mess.

‘Darkling,’ called Amelia’s mother, Countess Frivoleeta, from downstairs. ‘It’s time for your organ practice with Wooo. Remember your exam is coming up soon.’

‘Do I have to practise tonight?’ Amelia

replied, her heart sinking at the thought of

more organ practice – despite how ghoulishly

enthusiastic Wooo, their ghost butler, was.

‘I’m making Squashy a cute costume for my

birthnight party!’

Squashy squeaked and span on the spot

delightedly.

‘Isn’t it exciting, Squashy! Soon I’ll be eleven

moon-years old!’ beamed Amelia, flicking

through her Positively Pumpkin magazine.

‘And we get to celebrate in style at the Pumpkin

Patch! Golly Ghouls, I do love pumpkins.’

Amelia wanted to be a Pumpkinologist more

than anything in the whole world when she

grew up – she could imagine studying and

caring for pumpkins like Squashy forever!

Amelia also loved making things, and she

especially loved making things for Squashy.

Tonight her bedroom floor was covered in

black-and-orange material, goblin-slime

superglue and various cobwebbing tools.

The bedroom door creaked open, revealing

Countess Frivoleeta’s huge beehive hairdo

before the rest of her body. When she saw the

mess in Amelia’s room, she gasped.

‘Amelia, my dreadful little wart-picker, I

can’t see your bedroom floor!’

‘It’s creative mess,’ Amelia grinned. ‘Look,

I’m making some sunglasses for Squashy and

some tiny bow ties.’

The countess made a strange noise. ‘Amelia

Fang! It’s like you’re living in a goblin cave.

Wooo is waiting for you in the organ room, so

tidy this mess up and then go downstairs for

your practice. Quick-smart my dismal one!’

Amelia felt her cheeks flush. ‘But Mum, it’s

nearly my birthnight, and I’ve so much to

catch up on in Positively Pumpkin! Can’t I

skip organ practice just this week?’

‘Certainly not, darkling – you already

missed last week because you were at

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pumpkin-patch digging. Organ practice is

important – pumpkin magazines are not.’

Amelia sighed. ‘Okay, Mum, I’ll be down in

a minute,’ she said, as the countess left the

room. Sometimes it felt like her mum just

didn’t understand.

‘Don’t worry Squashy, we’ll have your

costume ready, even if I have to stay up all

day to finish it.’

Squashy pa-doinged in excitement, but

landed on the tube of goblin-slime superglue

and a giant purple glob spurted all over

Amelia’s dress.

‘Oh no, be careful Squashy!’

shrieked Amelia, looking down

at the slimy patch.

But the little pumpkin leapt forward and landed on Amelia’s lap – slap-bang in the pile of goblin slime.

‘Uh-oh!’ cried Amelia. ‘You just sat in the glue . . .’

Squashy tried to pa-doing

out of her lap, but he

was firmly stuck.

Amelia looked around her bedroom in

search of some glitter – the only thing that

could dissolve goblin slime – but she couldn’t

see any.

‘We have to hurry, Squashy,’ urged Amelia.

‘Wooo is waiting for me and you’re stuck to

my lap . . . Argh!’

She tried her best to pull her dress off, but it

was rather difficult with a pumpkin stuck to

the front of it. Amelia found herself caught

half in and half out of the dress. Squashy had

begun to squeak in a panic and was swinging

from side to side, trying to free himself.

‘Whoa! Squashy, what are you doing?’ said

Amelia, trying to wriggle out of the tangled

garment. ‘Stop it, you’re making me lose

balance!’

But, determined to free himself, the little

pumpkin carried on swinging – causing

Amelia to stumble around the room like a

frenzied zombie.

‘OUCH!’ she cried out as she stomped on a small box full of buttons and lost her footing.

CRASH!

Amelia and Squashy went tumbling into the pumpkin-themed creations, sending the

whole lot flying across the room.

A few seconds later, her mum burst through

the door.

‘What the gravestones is going on?’ she

exclaimed, surveying the carnage.

‘Um . . . I can explain . . .’ said Amelia

sheepishly.

‘And what’s happened to your dress?’ her

mother said sternly.

Amelia looked down. Where Squashy had been swinging, there was a massive rip.

‘It was an accident, Mum, honest!’ said Amelia, scrambling to her feet. ‘I was just about to leave, and the glue spilt out and

Squashy got stuck and . . .’

‘I have had enough, Amelia!’ said the

countess, holding up a hand. She picked up a

copy of Positively Pumpkin. ‘You’ve always

got your head stuck in this silly magazine!

You’ve been neglecting your vampiress

etiquette studies and organ practice for too

long now.’

‘It’s not a silly magazine!’ cried Amelia,

snatching it away from her mum.

‘Do NOT take that tone with me,’ said the

countess. ‘One more outburst like that and

I’m cancelling your Positively Pumpkin

subscription!’

‘But, Mum, that’s not fair! It was an

accident, and you know how important

pumpkins and Squashy are to me!’ said

Amelia.

Countess Frivoleeta’s left eyeball twitched.

But she composed herself.

‘Wooo is waiting,’ the countess said through

gritted fangs. ‘Change your dress and then you

had better be downstairs in two minutes.’ She

swiftly left the room.

Amelia sighed and slumped on to the floor.

‘Oh, Squashy,’ she said sadly. ‘I don’t think

Mum knows me at all.’

CHAPTER 2

MY LIFE . . . IN

SONG

‘So, are you excited about your birthnight

party, Amelia?’ said Grimaldi Reaperton the

next night before school. ‘I heard your mum

and dad hired out the Pumpkin Patch for a

whole night!’

Amelia sat quietly, tickling Squashy’s

tummy. ‘I guess so,’ she said without feeling.

Amelia and her best friends Grimaldi,

Florence Spudwick and Prince Tangine La

Floofle the First sat under the Petrified-Tree-

That-Looked-Like-a-Unicorn . Florence was a

huge hairy yeti, an extremely loyal friend and

a great pit-digger who did NOT like being

called a beast by anybody. Tangine, on the other hand, was half-vampire, half-fairy and partial to a good face scrub.

‘A Pumpkin Patch birthnight party sounds super fun!’ said Tangine. ‘I know Pumpy will love it!’

Pumpy, Tangine’s own genetically modified pet pumpkin, tried to roll over, but fell asleep halfway through the roll.

‘Although, I’ve recently discovered Pumpy suffers from Chronic-Upside-Down-Sleep-Syndrome . . .’ said Tangine, giving Pumpy a nudge so that he was upright once

again.

The huge pumpkin flexed his six-pack

and PA-DOOFED once into Tangine’s

arms, causing the prince to fall backwards.

‘PRINCE DOWN!’ yelled Florence as

Tangine groaned.

Amelia tried to smile but couldn’t quite

manage it.

‘You seem sad, Amelia,’ said Grimaldi.

‘What’s up?’

‘Me and Mum had a bit of an argument,’

sighed Amelia. ‘I told her I didn’t want to play

the organ this week so that I could finish

Squashy’s costume – and read more Positively

Pumpkin. And she got really cross. I just don’t

think I can be the perfect vampiress she wants

me to be.’

‘THAT’S TOO BAD,’ said Florence, putting

a big hairy arm around Amelia’s shoulders.

‘YOU’LL BE ’APPY YOU STUCK WIV THE

ORGAN THOUGH. I WISH I COULD PLAY.’

She yawned.

Amelia and her friends were all feeling a

little tired after the big Petrifying Palace

Parade a few nights before, where everyone

had celebrated the Kingdom of the Dark and

the Kingdom of the Light becoming friends.

After many years of being completely

terrified of the other, Creatures of the Light

and the Dark could now live alongside each

other in peace, since the evil Alpha Unicorn

had been defeated by Amelia and her friends.

Along with a group of mighty unicorn lords,

Alpha Unicorn had been spreading false and

scary rumours about the creatures from each

kingdom to keep them divided. But thanks to

Amelia and the gang, everyone was now free

to roam wherever they pleased. Things were

better than ever, and the Creatures of the

Dark now accepted the wonders of glitter;

once the stuff of utter DAYMARES!

The parade had been a LOT of fun,

but after much dancing, singing and pumpkin

juggling, Amelia and her friends could have

done with a little bit more sleep.

From across the graveyard came the rattling

sound of the Catacomb Academy welcome

bones.

‘C’MON, FANG,’ said Florence to Amelia

affectionately. ‘I’M SURE A BIT OF BORING

OL’ SCHOOL WILL ’ELP CHEER YOU UP!’

Amelia couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘Squashy,

you can stay out here in the graveyard and

play with Pumpy while we’re at school.’ She

gave the little pumpkin a pat on the stalk.

Squashy pa-doinged once and blew a

raspberry at Pumpy. Pumpy responded by

puffing his six-pack chest out at Squashy.

‘You two need to learn to be friends,’ Amelia

said kindly. ‘I hope you are by the time

school finishes.’

Amelia would usually sneak Squashy into

class with her, but she felt having a pumpkin buddy would be good for him. It didn’t stop her from missing Squashy every second they were apart, though. Luckily, Amelia had lots of new school subjects to focus on and keep

her mind occupied.

Since the Kingdom of the Dark and the Kingdom of the Light had become friends, Catacomb Academy had introduced a variety of new Kingdom of the Light themed lessons, to educate the Creatures of the Dark. Alongside Pumpkinology and Slime Skills, Amelia and her friends now also studied

18

Angel-Kitten Singing, Cloud Crafts, Glitterology

and History of the Bug Blossoms.

‘Good evening, class,’ said the headmistress,

Miss Inspine, as the students settled on to their

plinths. ‘Firstly, I’d like to welcome the fairy

exchange students from the Kingdom of the

Light. I appreciate you may be a little sleepy

while you get used to the time difference,’ said

Miss Inspine, addressing the fairies.

Five fairies of varying sizes waved shyly

from the back of the classroom, not looking

remotely alarmed that their new headmistress

was a skeleton. One teeny weeny fairy with a

19

puffy dress had fallen asleep

inside a test tube and was

snoring loudly.

‘Now class, you may remember I asked

you all to put together a presentation on a

subject of your choosing, to introduce

our visitors to the Kingdom of the

Dark,’ Miss Inspine continued.

‘Tangine, I believe you’re up

first – what is the title of your

presentation?’

Tangine stood up and

strutted to the front of the

classroom.

‘May I present to

you, MY LIFE . . . IN

SONG,’ said Tangine

straightening his bow tie.

Amelia, Florence and

Grimaldi looked at each

20

other wide-eyed, trying not to laugh.

‘Um . . .’ began Miss Inspine. But before she could continue, Tangine bellowed:

‘FELLOW CLASSMATES AND FAIRIES FROM AFAR!’

‘Oh, he’s actually doing this . . .’ said

Amelia, a little surprised. She’d never heard

Tangine attempt to sing before.

‘Thiiiiiis story of sadness, this tale of delight . . .

Is one of the Creatures of Dark and of Liiiiiight.

For both lived in fear of the other for years,

Led by stories of beasts—’

‘I AM NOT A BEAST!’ Florence blurted out, causing the snoring fairy in the test tube to

wake with a start.

21

Tangine glared.

‘UH, SORRY . . . NEVER MIND,’ said

Florence sheepishly.

Clearing his throat, Tangine continued

theatrically.

‘. . . led by stories of beasts and unicorn tears!

Two Kingdoms divided by terror and lies, But soon they’d be in for a pleasant surpriiiiise! One twilight, the King of Nocturnia met, A fairy?! Oh dear! But she was not a threat . . . She was kind, a true beauty, the love of his life, And this fairy became King Vladimir’s wiiiiiife!’

‘Wow,’ Amelia whispered to her friends. ‘He’s

actually really good!’

22

‘And soon baby Tangine was born . . .

Yes, that’s MEEEEE!

The most handsome baby you ever did see. With the fangs of a vampire, but fairy wings too?! Nobody could find out – who knows what they’d do?

Then suddenly, one dusk, my mother was gone, The king wondered if he’d done something wrong. He searched every night, every day, all year through, And the older I got, the more distant he grew . . .’

Tangine then got down on one knee and cast

his hand across his forehead dramatically.

‘I was spoilt, I was lonely, and then I started school,

But I acted a bit like a silly young fool!

I stole a pet pumpkin and took someone’s chair,

But a special friend showed me how that wasn’t fair.’

23

Tangine looked over to Amelia and blushed.

Amelia beamed back, happy that she and

Tangine were now such good friends.

‘She found out my secret, but she wasn’t scared, And that’s how I knew that my friend really cared. We went on a journey to find my lost mum, To the Kingdom of the Light in the dazzling sun!

But little did we know that the unicorn lords;

Those mighty horned horses their citizens adored . . .

Had kidnapped my mother! Oh yes, you heard right!

So, we grabbed our baguettes and we put up a fight!’

‘HEH HEH.’ Florence chuckled at the memory

of brandishing bread baguettes and baked goods

as weapons against Alpha Unicorn and his

unicorn lords.

24

‘The truth was revealed – and my mother

was freeeeeeed!

The Creatures of the Light and the Dark all agreed,

We’ve no need to fear one another anymore,

Together we’ve so much to learn and explore!

So, the King of Nocturnia is now full of glee!

(Even though he was briefly turned into a bee.

Yes really.)

And that’s the tale of how two

kingdoms made amends,

And how the Creatures of the Light and the Dark

became frieeeeeeeends!’

Tangine threw both arms in the air, and sent

glitter flying across the whole classroom. Once

upon a time this would have terrified his

Creature of the Dark classmates, but now

everyone cheered and clapped and twirled

25

round in the glittery rainstorm.

Amelia stood up, chanting Tangine’s name, followed by Grimaldi, and then Florence.

The fairies appeared to be crying sparkly tears

of joy.

‘Tangine La Floofle,’ said Miss Inspine with a look of shock on her skull. ‘That was quite

possibly the best presentation any student has

ever given in my class. TOP MARKS!’

CHAPTER 3

SUBLIME

After lunch, Amelia and her friends made their

way to the Coughing Classroom, in the deepest

recesses of Catacomb Academy, for a brand-

new lesson.

‘I WONDER WHAT OUR NEW LESSON IS?’

said Florence.

‘I hope it’s more fun than Zombie Social

Studies,’ said Grimaldi.

Amelia giggled. ‘I’m excited to meet our new

teacher,’ she said. ‘I heard it might be someone

from Glitteropolis!’

Amelia and her friends approached the

classroom, where a plump and wrinkly man

with thick-rimmed glasses, a big curly moustache

and huge fairy wings was waiting by the door.

‘STUDENTS!’ he smiled, his teeth shining blindingly white. ‘Come in, come in! Welcome, welcome!’

Amelia, Florence, Grimaldi and Tangine took seats at the back of the classroom, carefully

avoiding any snot that the Coughing Classroom spluttered in their direction.

As Amelia looked around the Coughing Classroom, she noticed it had been adorned from top to bottom with glossy print-outs of Ravishing Recipes and pictures of the new teacher posing with various cooking instruments.

Once the class had settled down, the teacher half-skipped

30

to the front of the classroom

and threw his arms out as if he

were about to invite everyone

over for a great big hug.

‘Hellooooo, students of

Catacomb Academy!’ he sang. ‘I

am terribly delighted to be

joining you all in your

wonderfully dark and dismal

city of Nocturnia. I’m your new

cookery teacher, Mr Sublime!’

‘Oooh, cookery class!’ said

Amelia and Tangine in unison.

‘HEH, SOUNDS LIKE MR

SLIME,’ Florence guffawed.

‘Florence!’ Amelia whispered,

half-smiling.

‘I can’t wait to share some of

my favourite Glitteropolan

recipes with you. We’re going to

have a lot of fun making

a LOT of food!’ said

Mr Sublime.

Tangine’s eyes lit up

and a string of dribble

slipped its way down his

chin. ‘Hmmmm fooooood!’

he gurgled happily.

AHEM!

‘Yes?’ said the teacher,

looking round at the

students expectantly for

more sentiments of

appreciation.

‘IT WEREN’T ANY

OF US THAT MADE

THAT NOISE, MR

SLIME. THAT WAS

THE ROOM. THAT’S

WHY IT’S CALLED

THE COUGHING CLASSROOM,’ explained Florence.

‘Oh, I see,’ said Mr Sublime, looking a little ill as he watched a trickle of snot slide down the back wall, between two particularly dramatically posed pictures of himself with

a frying pan.

Grimaldi was trying not to laugh.

Amelia elbowed Florence in the belly.

‘You can’t call him Mr Slime!’ she whispered.

‘It’s Mr Sublime!’

Grimaldi and Florence smirked.

Recovering himself, the teacher flung

his arms out wide with a flourish. ‘Well,

let’s get started with your first cookery

class like no other! And do you know WHY

it’s like no other?’ Mr Sublime didn’t wait

for anyone to answer. ‘Because it has

been said by many – not myself,

you understand – that I am the BEST cook

33

you’ve ever met or are likely to meet.’

‘That’s quite a statement,’ whispered

Grimaldi. ‘I always thought my Grimpapa

was the best cook around . . .’

‘I think you’ll find Wooo is definitely the

best!’ Amelia replied.

‘Tonight, class, we will be making my

favourite recipe!’ continued Mr Sublime.

‘I wonder if it’s Boasting Buns!’ Grimaldi

giggled.