The High Price Of Secrets

“I understand,” Finn soothed.

His heart broke for the man who’d stepped into the role of father figure when Finn’s own father had died, and his mother suffered a complete nervous breakdown. Finn had been only twelve and Lorenzo, his father’s business partner, and Ellen had taken him into their hearts and their home. The couple had been his rock through his turbulent adolescence and his teens. Their unwavering support, together with their careful guardianship of the land his father had owned, had ensured stability and, eventually, a good living for them all. Finn owed them everything.

“I’ll take care of things. Don’t worry,” he assured Lorenzo as they completed their call.

Exactly how he was going to take care of things was another matter. First, he had to find out whether Tamsyn had left the area. Given how exhausted she’d looked hovering on his doorstep, he doubted she’d have gone far. It only took a few calls to find her and he wasn’t at all surprised to discover the Aussie princess had chosen one of the most expensive accommodation providers in the area.

Okay, so now he knew where she was, what was he going to do next? Finn leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers under his chin, rocking the leather chair back and forth slightly as he stared back out the window again.

Encroaching twilight began to obscure the Kaikoura ranges in the far distance, narrowing his world to the acres that surrounded him. His acres. His land. His home. A home he wouldn’t have today but for the determination of Lorenzo and Ellen all those years ago. What was he going to do? Whatever they needed him to—even if it meant befriending the woman who’d caused Ellen so much suffering over the years.

Growing up, he’d heard occasional tales about Ellen’s other children—the ones she’d been forced to leave behind once her marriage had irretrievably broken down. Even then, he’d seen the pain that abandoning her children had caused her, how she’d sought solace in alcohol that had eventually led to her current illness, and over the intervening years he’d wondered about the children themselves and why they hadn’t done a thing to try to get in touch with the mother who’d loved them with all her heart.

As soon as he’d been old enough, and computer savvy enough, he’d done a little research and discovered the favored lives Ethan and Tamsyn Masters lived on their family vineyard estate, The Masters. They’d grown up wanting for nothing and had had every opportunity to excel presented to them on a platter. Not for them the hard graft of after-school jobs and backbreaking weekend work, just to get ahead. Not for them the millstone of student loans and expenses.

Finn didn’t mind admitting he’d felt some resentment toward Ellen’s other family, they’d had it so easy while she, on the other hand, had made do with so little—secure only in the love of the man she’d walked away from her husband and children with.

A man who continued to stay by her side as she’d battled her alcoholism and as eventually her body and mind broke down around her. Ellen’s health was so precarious right now that Finn feared that even if she recognized Tamsyn, should she manage to track her mother down, at the sight of her, Ellen could slide into a place in her mind from which she would never return.

After all, hadn’t his own mother’s death occurred after he had finally been allowed to visit her following her breakdown? Hadn’t seeing him been a reminder of what she’d given up on when the sudden death of her husband had forced her to retreat into the supposedly safe reaches of her mind? And hadn’t her shame pushed her deeper into her mind, never to emerge again? Even now, those memories had the power to hurt. He pushed them forcibly away.

Tamsyn Masters—she should be the focus of his thoughts right now, and his plans to get her to stay in the area without letting her find out the truth about Ellen. Finn thought again what he knew about the young woman who’d turned up at his house today. She was twenty-eight years old, five years younger than himself. Last he’d heard, she was engaged to marry some up-and-coming lawyer in Adelaide. Clearly she hadn’t been wearing her ring today. It could mean anything. Maybe she had taken it off to get it cleaned or resized. Or maybe she’d taken it off when she’d washed her hands and had forgotten to put it back on again.

Another idea occurred to him. One that sparked his interest. Maybe, just maybe, it meant she might be in the market for a bit of rebound romance. A bit of light flirtation perhaps—some enticement to stay in the Marlborough district? If she was as shallow as he’d found her type to be in the past it would be all good fun—no chance of emotional involvement or hurt feelings, just an opportunity to keep her very carefully under observation while making sure she found out nothing about Ellen.

It would take some doing, sure, but he was confident he could handle it. A buzz of anticipation hummed through his body. Yeah, he was definitely the man to do it, and along the way he’d find out as much as he could about the perplexing Ms. Tamsyn Masters.

Three

Voices echoed down the wide paneled hallway of the hotel as Tamsyn walked toward the dining room. She still felt a little tired, but last night’s light meal, warm bath and a comfortable night in a good bed, had all gone a long way toward restoring her equilibrium.

Last night she’d all but decided to head to the airport this morning and book a flight back to Auckland. But she’d woken filled with a new sense of purpose—more determined than ever to make the most of her time here. Her mother had to be in the area somewhere. As far as she and Ethan were aware, checks were still being sent to her from their father’s estate—and none of the checks had ever been returned to sender. Last night she’d been too tired and too disheartened to remember that vital detail. Today was another matter entirely and she was thinking far more clearly. A call to Ethan would confirm the address her father’s lawyers used.

First order of the day though, after breakfast, was a trip to Blenheim to purchase some new clothes and luggage. She’d left Adelaide in such an all-fired hurry she’d arrived here in New Zealand with only the clothes she stood in and her handbag. Despite making use of the iron and ironing board stashed in her room’s wardrobe, her clothing was definitely looking the worse for wear.

She couldn’t wait to rid herself of her underwear, either—the pieces so carefully chosen to titillate and entice her then fiancé. Despite the fact she’d had to rinse out, dry and then rewear them twice now, she wouldn’t be happy until she’d seen them thrown into the trash.

They were yet another reminder of how foolishly naive she’d been—and how the people she’d trusted had let her down. Bile rose in her throat as she remembered how eager she’d been to surprise Trent just two nights ago. How she’d planned a romantic dinner and evening for two culminating in the slow and sexy removal of said lingerie. But the surprise had been all hers when she’d discovered him in bed with someone else—her personal assistant, Zac.

Once the hurt had begun to recede she’d felt such a fool. What kind of woman didn’t know her fiancé was gay? Worse, that he’d been prepared to marry her and simply string her along as a mask of respectability so he could continue his steady rise through the ranks of the old-school law firm he worked for.

She’d known that she only had to go home to have her family surrounding her, consoling her—but the thought had failed to comfort her. Her family had lied to her, too, had hidden things from her that she’d had the right to know. Her father, her uncle and aunts—they’d all known that her mother was alive, and they’d kept it from her. Even Ethan had hidden the truth from her once he found out, after their father’s death. Suddenly desperate to get away from the secrets, the evasions and the betrayals, she’d headed to the airport, determined not to return until she found some answers for a change.

So far, it was going dreadfully.

She swallowed against the burning sensation in her throat. Maybe breakfast wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“Here she is,” the voice of her hostess, Penny, greeted her as she reached the doorway of the dining room. Penny rose from a small table set in the bay window that looked out over a delightfully old-fashioned garden. “Good morning, Ms. Masters, I trust you slept well?”

“Oh, call me Tamsyn, please. And yes, my room is very comfortable, thank you.”

Tamsyn’s eyes flicked to the man who sat opposite Penny and who now rose to his feet in welcome. The man from yesterday—and absolutely the last man she had expected to see this morning. Courtesy demanded she acknowledge his presence and she gave him a short nod, just the barest inclination of her head.

He stepped forward and held out his hand in a greeting. “We didn’t get to exchanging names yesterday. Finn Gallagher. Pleased to see you again.”

She gave him a weak smile and briefly shook his hand. The warmth of his broad palm permeated her skin, sending a curl of awareness winding up her arm and through her body. She pulled her hand free.

“Really, Mr. Gallagher? I had the impression yesterday you were only too pleased to see the back of me.”

Amusement lit his cool slate-colored eyes. “Ah, you caught me at a bad time, I’m afraid. I’m here to apologize.”

Tamsyn’s mind scattered in a hundred directions. How had he tracked her down?

“Isn’t that a bit stalkerish?” she said without thinking.

“We’re a close-knit bunch around here,” he explained with an apologetic smile that made Tamsyn’s stomach do a tiny loop-the-loop. “I was concerned after you left. You looked tired, and being unfamiliar with the area...well, let’s just say tourists have a bad habit of wandering off the road here and there. I called around a few places and I was relieved when Penny assured me you’d arrived safely.”

It all sounded plausible, she thought, but it didn’t explain what he was doing here right now. As if he could read her mind, he continued speaking.

“I didn’t want to leave you with the impression that we’re rude around here and thought I’d offer to show you around, if you’d like. Take you on a tour of the district. You will be staying a few days now you’re here, won’t you?”

He said the last few words with subtle emphasis, almost as if he was willing her to stick around.

“Yes, I will,” she admitted, reluctant to tell him that her time here had no specific expiry. “But there’s no need for you to show me around. I can make my own way.” Besides, she wasn’t really here for the sights. She just wanted to find her mother.

“Please, at least allow me to take you to lunch or dinner to make up for my abruptness yesterday.”

An ember of warmth lit deep in her belly. Maybe she was being overly suspicious. He certainly seemed sincere enough. She studied him briefly, taking in the short spiky hair, the clear gray eyes that appeared to be imploring her to give in to his politely put demand. His body language was open, nonthreatening, and dressed as he was in a pair of jeans and a tight-fitting T-shirt, he clearly wasn’t hiding any weapons. Except his charisma. She couldn’t deny he exuded oodles of magnetism, today at least, and there was no doubting that he was one beautifully put-together piece of manhood. What would be the harm in enjoying his company for a few hours? Despite what she’d just been through with Trent, Finn Gallagher was pinging her receptors. And then there was that smile that played around Finn’s lips, the expression on his face that suggested he found her attractive and actually wanted to spend time with her. Something her fiancé had not been so wont to do. The thought was like water on a drought-stricken land.

Penny interrupted her thoughts. “If you’re worried about Finn, I can vouch for the fact that he’s a complete gentleman. He’s also a much-loved local-born philanthropist. Honestly, you couldn’t be in better hands.”

“I...”

Tamsyn’s eyes dropped to those very hands, eyeing his broad palms and long tapered fingers. The ember flared to a flame and spread, her breasts suddenly feeling full, her nipples tight, as she involuntarily imagined those hands touching her. With a sharply indrawn breath, she dragged her eyes up to his face, where he clearly awaited her response.

“I don’t want to be any trouble,” she said lamely, feeling a flush of color heat her cheeks. “Besides, I have plans to do some shopping today—I came a little underprepared for this trip.”

Underprepared. As if that wasn’t the understatement of the year, she thought scathingly.

“No problem. Why don’t you do your shopping this morning, Penny will be able to direct you to where you need to go, and I’ll pick you up around lunchtime, say one o’clock, back here? Then I can show you around a bit and deliver you back this evening.”

She couldn’t refuse. He’d made the plan sound so reasonable. Penny had given her approval as well, and somehow Tamsyn knew the older woman wouldn’t have been so forthcoming if she hadn’t been certain Tamsyn would be safe with Finn.

“Then, thank you, I’d like that.”

“Excellent. I’ll leave you to your breakfast and I’ll see you later today. Thanks for the coffee, Penny.”

“You’re always welcome, Finn. I’ll see you out. Tamsyn, please help yourself to the breakfast buffet. If there’s anything else you’d like, just ring the bell on the sideboard and one of the kitchen staff will be along to take your order.”

Penny smiled and then preceded Finn from the room. Finn gave Tamsyn a wink before following.

“I’m looking forward to this afternoon,” he said, his voice lowered for her hearing only and sending a shiver of anticipation down Tamsyn’s spine.

She smiled in response, a nervous, almost involuntary action, and then he was gone. Tamsyn stepped over to the chafing dishes on the antique sideboard and lifted the lids. Nerves danced like butterflies in her stomach. What had she let herself in for? she wondered as she took a small serving of scrambled egg with a few fried button mushrooms and half a grilled tomato.

She placed her plate on a table and turned back to the sideboard to pour a cup of coffee from the silver carafe warmed by a single candle in a holder beneath it. Everything here was modern and comfortable yet still exuded old-world charm with these touches of elegance from a bygone era. Much like back at home, at The Masters.

For just an instant she was almost overwhelmed by a wave of homesickness, by the desire to quit this search of hers and go home and pick up where she’d left off. But she couldn’t go back, not yet. Not until she’d gotten some answers. After everything that had happened, she felt so lost, as if she didn’t know who she was anymore. She needed this trip, this quest, to help her find herself again.

Tamsyn forced herself to lift her fork and spear a mushroom, bringing the morsel to her mouth. The burst of flavor on her tongue reminded her that she might be down, but she wasn’t out yet. Not when there were still things in this life to enjoy, to savor. Things that proved life went on as surely as the sun rose each day.

“Ah, excellent, you’ve helped yourself,” Penny said, walking briskly back into the room. “Is everything to your liking? Perhaps there’s something else I can get for you?”

“Everything is lovely, thank you. I’m fine for now.”

“I’m glad,” the other woman said, bustling over to clear the table where she and Finn had been sitting when Tamsyn had come into the dining room. “Finn seems quite taken with you. You can’t go wrong there. He’ll show you a wonderful time.”

Was it Tamsyn’s imagination or was there a hefty dose of double entendre seasoning Penny’s words?

“You didn’t mention you met him yesterday,” Penny probed.

“I’d been given an address to go to. It turned out to be his and not the person I was seeking.”

“Well, if anyone around here can help you find someone local it’ll be Finn,” Penny said with a warm smile. “Come and see me in my office before you head out to the shops and tell me what you’re looking for, and I’ll point you in the right direction.”

What she was looking for? Well, there was an opening she couldn’t ignore. Finn himself had said they were a close-knit community. Surely her mother had to be known by someone.

“Actually, now that you mention it, I was wondering...have you ever heard of an Ellen Masters?”

Penny halted midstride and the cups she’d just cleared from the table wobbled a little in their saucers.

“Ellen Masters, you say?” She pulled her mouth down into a small frown for a second before reverting to a bright smile that didn’t feel quite as genuine as it had a moment before. “No, can’t say I’ve ever heard that name. Well, I’ll leave you to your breakfast. Remember to ring if you need anything else.”

Tamsyn watched as Penny left the dining room. She must be getting overly sensitive because for a minute there she thought she’d seen a spark of something on Penny’s face. Tamsyn took another sip of her coffee and shook her head slightly. She was probably just jet-lagged and perhaps a little overtired still. Imagining things that weren’t there simply because she wanted them to be.

Still, she refused to be cowed. Someone in the district had to know where her mother was and as soon as she crossed paths with that someone, she would know, too. A person didn’t just disappear off the grid without leaving a trace somewhere, did they?

Four

After her shopping expedition into Blenheim, where she found all the basics she needed, as well as a few things she didn’t but were fun to buy anyway, Tamsyn continued back toward her accommodations. Certain she could navigate her way without her GPS, she was surprised when a wrong turn brought her out into a small but bustling township.

She wondered briefly, as she pulled up to halt on a street peppered with cafés and boutiques and art stores, why Penny hadn’t directed her here first for her shopping. With a shrug she got out of the car and locked it before strolling the length of the main street down one side and back up the other before going into one of the clothing boutiques to browse.

“Hello, are you looking for a special outfit?” the older woman behind the counter asked with a welcoming smile.

“Not particularly, but I love this,” Tamsyn said, pulling out a sleeveless dress in vibrant hues of purple and blue for a better look.

“That would look lovely on you with your coloring. The fitting room is just to your left if you’d like to try it on.”

“Oh, I don’t think...” About to refuse, Tamsyn hesitated. Why shouldn’t she indulge herself? This morning’s shopping had been mostly about function—jeans, T-shirts, a pair of shorts and a few sets of underwear, together with some trainers. Her hand stroked the fabric, relishing the texture of the hand-painted silk. It would feel divine on. “Okay, I’ll try it,” she said before she could change her mind.

A few minutes later she turned this way and that in front of the dressing-room mirror. The dress was perfect, as if it had been made for her. If only she had the right shoes to go with it, she’d be able to wear it to lunch with Finn. Not that she was setting out to try and attract him or anything but a girl needed her armor, didn’t she? And the way this dress made her look and made her feel was armor indeed.

“How does it feel on?” a disembodied voice asked from outside the curtain.

“Fantastic but I don’t have the right shoes with me.”

“Oh, maybe we have something here. We carry a few styles and sizes. You’re what, a size seven?”

When Tamsyn murmured her assent the woman replied, “I’ll be right back.”

Tamsyn took a minute to study her reflection again. She loved the dress, loved the softness of the silk as it fell around her legs, as it caressed her body. It made her feel feminine, desirable.

Was that what her need for armor was all about? Had Trent’s betrayal left her feeling so unappealing? Questioning her femininity so much? Not surprising, given how he’d deliberately misled her throughout their relationship. The sting still smarted. And looking at her reflection now, thoughts of her former fiancé made her angry, too. Her reflection in the mirror looked beautiful and sexy—why had she let Trent make her feel any different? Why had she agreed to marry a man who never made her feel irresistible?

Tamsyn was more certain than ever that this trip was exactly what she needed. She had to get away from the perceptions and expectations everyone had of her back home and figure out who she really wanted to be. She just hoped her mother would want to be part of that—part of her life.

“Here we are!”

Tamsyn pulled aside the curtain.

“Oh, my,” the assistant said, “that dress is really you. You look wonderful. Here, try these on with it.”

She held out a pair of sandals in shades of purple, blue and pink, and with a ridiculously high heel. They were perfect, Tamsyn thought as she slid off the trainers and socks she’d been wearing and slipped her feet into the sandals, bending down to fasten the dainty ankle strap.

“Come on out into the store, we have a full-length mirror just over by the counter. You’ll have more room to twirl,” the woman said with a wink.

Tamsyn couldn’t help but smile in response. She actually felt like twirling when she saw her reflection in the larger mirror.

“I’ll take it,” she said impulsively. “The dress and the shoes. Do you mind if I wear them now?”

“Why would I mind?” The assistant smiled in response. “You’re the perfect walking advertisement for one of our local designers—Alexis Fabrini.”

“I love what she’s done with this dress, do you have more of her clothes here? I’d really like to come back when I have more time.”

The assistant just smiled and spread her arm to encompass an entire wall of garments. “Take your pick,” she said, smiling. “Let me bag up your other things and take off those price tags and you’ll be good to go.”

Tamsyn paid for her purchases just as a Shania Twain song came onto the speakers in the store. She smiled to herself, agreeing with the lyrics. She really felt like a woman right now and was actually looking forward to lunch with the enigmatic Finn Gallagher more than she realized.

“Are you just passing through town?” asked the store clerk. Tamsyn looked at her, suddenly struck by the realization that the woman was probably around the same age as her mother. In fact, there were so many people around—on the street, in the shops—who were all around that age. Surely, amongst them, would be some of her mother’s friends.

“I’m here a few days at least, although I might stay longer if I can. I’m...” She hesitated a moment and then decided, in for a penny, in for a pound. If she didn’t start asking every person she met if they knew her mom, she’d never find out, would she? “I’m looking for my mother. Ellen Masters. Do you know her?”

The other woman shook her head slowly and pursed her lips. “Hmm, Ellen Masters...no. Can’t say I’ve met anyone by that name around here, but I’m fairly new in the region and I’m still getting to know all the locals.”

“Never mind,” Tamsyn said pasting a smile over the pang of disappointment that tugged at her heart. It was a numbers game. Eventually she’d find someone who knew her. Didn’t New Zealanders pride themselves on the fact that there were only two degrees of separation between them and a fellow Kiwi? “It was a wild shot.”

“Well, good luck finding her and do come back soon!”

Tamsyn gathered her things and started to walk back to her car. Even with this small latest setback she still felt more positive. Just before she reached her car she stopped and perused the window of a real estate office that appeared to double as a letting agency and an idea occurred to her. If she found a place to rent she could set herself up more permanently here and could use the property as a base from which to widen her search. She scanned the listings in the window and an address caught her eye. It was on the same road as Finn Gallagher’s property, fairly close, too, if the street number was any indicator.