Wish Me Tomorrow

When he returned, he found Christie pacing by the window, purse in hand.

“I should be going, Eli. I really don’t mind navigating my way out.”

“A marble staircase without lights? Never a good idea.” His eyes searched hers, willing her to stay longer. He could keep a few boundaries without letting her go off just yet. “Won’t you stay until the electricity’s back?”

She nodded, the candlelight silhouetting her in gold. “If you want me to.”

“I do.” With a firm hand on her back, he guided her back to the couch. This time, he seated himself in a chair—it was safer that way.

“So tell me about Kansas.”

Her expression stilled. Strange. He imagined her life filled with homecoming parades and town picnics.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” he probed.

“An older brother. William.” She wrapped her arms around herself and leaned forward. “He passed away when I turned eighteen.”

He half rose then sat back down. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it.” He wanted to offer comfort, but how much closer could he afford to get? With an effort, he remained in his seat.

She rubbed her temples. “It’s okay. He died of leukemia at the end of my senior year in high school. I moved in with Gran to attend nursing school at Columbia a few months later.”

A lot about her suddenly made sense. “Is that why you became a grief counselor?”

Christie’s head snapped up. “What? No. Maybe. It’s not something I really think about.”

“Oh,” he said, understanding more than she knew. Strange that she talked about cancer with strangers but when it came to herself, she stayed mum. He wondered if she shared her experience with her support group. Then again, her story didn’t have a happy ending—not the positive focus she wanted. Time to switch subjects.

“And your parents. Are they still in Kansas?”

“They died in a car crash during my first year in college.”

Eli rose. This time he would go to her. How had he managed to ask such horrible questions?

The lights blared on. He blinked away the spots in front of his eyes and saw Christie wipe her damp cheeks. After all she’d been through this evening, he’d made her cry. What an insensitive jerk.

As she walked to the door, he trailed in her wake. He hated to say goodbye after stirring up those painful memories. But with the power back, what excuse did he have for her to stay?

“I’m sorry I brought all of that up.”

She rummaged in her purse. “Don’t worry. I try not to dwell on it. It’s better that way.” She jabbed at an unlit cell phone.

Was it better that way? Her closed expression screamed “Drop the subject!” and with difficulty, he did.

“May I call and request a car for you? It’s late and I wouldn’t want you walking far for a cab.”

“Thank you. I was planning to splurge and call for one given the hour, but my battery died.”

He dialed the number of a nearby service and watched her withdraw a tissue. She blew her nose and straightened her narrow shoulders. When he hung up, she turned, eyes dry, lips curving upward once more.

Only now he wasn’t fooled. That smile covered deep pain. He’d been determined to keep her at arm’s length for his children’s sake. But now he understood that he needed to stay away for her sake, too. She’d suffered too much loss to spend her days with a guy who might be living on borrowed time. Too bad knowing that didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

“The driver will be here in five minutes.” He recalled her claustrophobia and the unreliable elevator door. “May I see you downstairs?”

Christie nodded and preceded him. “Tell the children I said goodbye.”

He pushed the elevator button. “I will. Thanks again for watching them. Oh. And I almost forgot to tell you. The doctor told me John’s brain tumor has shrunk.”

Her green eyes widened. Was there any color more beautiful? “That’s wonderful news. He’s had a tough time, but he’s a fighter.”

When the elevator dinged, he caught the flash of the rabbit’s foot disappearing into her hand. What a superstitious little soul. He definitely liked Christie Bates.

They rode the elevator in silence. He glanced her way a few times, wondering at her silently moving lips.

A black car idled by the curb when they stepped into the foyer. So soon. If only they had a few more minutes.

“Goodbye, Eli.” Her wistful voice produced an almost-physical ache in his heart. They’d been through a lot tonight. Having it end after her painful admission felt wrong.

Worse, he’d let her share that without ever admitting anything about his condition. Maybe it would be better if she knew. At least then she’d understand why this really needed to be goodbye.

“I have cancer,” he blurted. “Had, I mean.”

She touched his arm, the gentle sensation lingering long after she dropped her hand. “I’m so glad you’re in remission. Tommy told me about your illness, but only because he knows I work with cancer patients. The children respect your wish not to talk about it.”

Now, that he had not expected. Did she understand his reason for telling her? That he needed the reminder of why he shouldn’t see her again?

The town-car driver honked and she opened the foyer door and walked out. He followed, pulling the car door wide for her.

“Goodbye, Christie.” He would remember this night—remember her—for a long time. “Thanks again.”

“Take care, Eli.” Her voice sounded quiet. Tired.

He nodded, unable to say more as he watched her duck into the car. His feet stayed rooted to the stone stoop long after the taillights disappeared into the rain. If only he was the kind of man who could see her again. A man whose future didn’t blur into a question mark.

But now, as he trudged back inside the building, he told himself to focus on his kids and what they needed. If they were confiding in her that he’d put a lockdown on all cancer discussion, maybe his health issues bothered them more than he realized.

And while he might not ever subscribe to the touchy-feely brand of positive thinking that Christie did, he would make sure his kids had someone to talk to. Someone a whole lot better versed in this stuff than him.

Even though an energetic, beautiful nurse and counselor came to mind, he vowed to find someone else.

For both their sakes.

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