CARE OF STARPORT
CHICAGO.
OK. WHICH ONE
OF YOU DOUCHEBAGS
KILLED DETECTIVE
BAKER AND STOLE
HIS GUN?
HERE!
I MEAN, I’M
BAKER. I DIDN’T
KILL ANYONE!
SO HOW COME YOU’RE
COVERED WITH
BLOOD?
HUH. THAT’S
WHAT THEY
ALL SAY.
IT’S
FRUIT
JUICE.
THEY RAN
A MAKE ON YOUR
GUN. IMAGINE THE
HORROR WHEN IT
TURNED OUT TO BE
ONE OF OURS...
YO, LIVINGSTONE,
BETTER UNLOCK MY
PARTNER, HERE. LET’S
SEE IF MAYBE I CAN
KEEP HIM OUT OF
TROUBLE.
MMMM-
HMMM.
HERE WE ARE,
SKIP, AT CHICAGO’S
FINEST, DISTRICT 19,
AKA THE ZOO, AKA
THE UNIVERSE’S
CRAP HOLE.
AND ON
THAT SUBJECT,
THERE’S THE
CRAPPER. DEEP,
I KNOW...
HEY,
RICHY!
IT’S SERGEANT
MONDRAGON,
DETECTIVE STAMM,
NOT RICHY.
I SEE
THEY’VE GIVEN
YOU A NEW
PARTNER.
I’M SERGEANT
RICHARD MONDRAGON.
WELCOME TO THE
ZOO, SON.
AND MY
SYMPATHIES
ON YOUR
PARTNER.
HEY...
AND ANOTHER
BATHROOM...YOU
GETTING ALL
THIS?
SO,
JUST HOW
SEXY AM
I?
ABOUT
AS SEXY AS
SOMETHING I’D
FLUSH DOWN
THE TOILET.
I CAN’T
BELIEVE SHE’S
SENDING YOU
BACK IN.
YEAH, WELL,
SHE HAS TO. I
HAVEN’T LEARNED
ALL THE WORDS TO
“EARTHLAND UBER
ALLES” YET.
I WANT
YOU TO WEAR
A WIRE.
LOVE TO!
DARLING IDEA,
REALLY. SO KIND
OF YOU TO
SUGGEST IT.
THE THING IS,
THERE’S THIS HOT
LITTLE EARTHBLOOD
NUMBER WHO CAN’T
KEEP HER HANDS
OFF ME.
SO IMAGINE,
THERE WE ARE
PETTING IN THE BUNKER,
AND SHE SLIDES HER
HAND UNDER MY SHIRT,
AND...OH MY
GOODNESS...
SURPRISE!
IT’S. A.
WIRE!
ONLY YOU
WOULD HAVE THAT
KIND OF PROBLEM,
AARON.
YEAH,
WELL...
...I KNEW THE
JOB WAS DANGEROUS
WHEN I TOOK IT. DON’T
BE JEALOUS, RICHY.
IT LOOKS BAD
ON YOU.
HEY, NICE LOOK, MORELLO.
YOU UNDERCOVER AS A
COUCH POTATO, OR DID
YOU JUST FORGET
YOUR SHIRT?
I’VE HAD
THAT URGE MYSELF,
FROM TIME
TO TIME.
THAT’S “EAT
IT, DETECTIVE STAMM.”
THESE ARE
OUR NEIGHBORS,
OFFICERS JI-HUN PARK
AND LOUIS MORELLO,
UNDERCOVER CHICAGO
FASHION ICONS.
AN ALIEN...
UHH...HEH...THREW UP ON HIM.
EAT IT,
STAMM!
THAT’S MY
DESK BACK BY THE
STAIRS, AND THIS IS
YOU. MY LAST PARTNER
DIED IN THAT CHAIR.
MASSIVE CEREBRAL
HEMORRHAGE.
WENT
JUST LIKE
THAT.
HOW MANY
PARTNERS
HAVE YOU HAD,
ANYWAY?
YOU
CAN’T COUNT
THAT HIGH.
DAMN,
MORELLO, YOU
FORGET HOW
TO USE A
REMOTE?
SCREW YOU,
DETECTIVE
STAMM.
PARK, CAN
YOU HELP ME?
YOUR PEOPLE
MADE THIS DAMN
THING...
MY PEOPLE
ARE KOREAN.
THAT “DAMN THING” IS JAPANESE, AND– REGARDLESS OF ITS ORIGIN–NOT MY PROBLEM.
HERE,
LET ME
TRY.
LET’S SEE.
YOU JUST NEED
TO GET INTO THE
MENU–THERE IT
IS–AND...
THAT
SHOULD
DO IT!
GOOD
LORD...
WHASSAMATTER,
MORELLO, WERE THEY
ALL OUT OF DEBBIE DOES STARPORT?
FOR YOUR
INFORMATION,
I’M DOING SOME
RESEARCH.
MAYBE I
CAN HELP. I’M
SOMEWHAT OF
AN AMATEUR
XENOLOGIST...
UHHHHH...
IT MEANS
I’VE READ JUST
ABOUT EVERYTHING
I CAN GET MY HANDS
ON CONCERNING
THE ALIENS.
CAN YOU
DESCRIBE HIM
FOR ME?
WE’RE TRYING
TO GET A MAKE ON
AN ALIEN PURSE
SNATCHER.
YEAH. SHORT–
SMALLER THAN A
MUNCHKIN, EVEN–WITH
BIG EARS, WINGS,
AND NO PANTS.
SORT OF
A MONKEY/BAT/
GREMLIN LOOK.
REALLY?
THAT’S WEIRD.
NONE OF THE WINGED
SPECIES I KNOW
FIT THAT
DESCRIPTION...
SO WHAT...
PUKED ON
ME, THEN?
I DON’T KNOW.
SO LET’S SEE IF WE
RECOGNIZE OUR
WINGED FRIEND IN THIS
LOVELY DEPICTION
OF DEBBIE DOES STARPORT...
SPACE. THELAST UNKNOWN. FORTHOUSANDS OF YEARS,MEN HAVE LOOKED UPINTO THE STARRY NIGHT,WONDERING WHAT WASOUT THERE...
WHO’D’VE THOUGHT,
FOR ALL THOSE YEARS,
THAT THE ANSWER WAS
“MUNCHKINS”?
I’M TELLING
YOU GUYS, I’VE
SEEN THIS VIDEO
BEFORE, AND THERE’S
NO SPECIES LIKE
THAT!
THE HARMONY OFWORLDS. VAST FLEETSOF FASTER-THAN-LIGHTSTARSHIPS, LINKING NINETHOUSAND INHABITEDPLANETS, MOONS,AND COLONIES.
A VAST TRADINGWEB THAT UNITESAN ENTIRE GALACTICARM, WITH THE ANCIENTWISDOM ANDACCUMULATED SCIENCEOF 315 SENTIENTSPECIES.
WELCOME TOOUR PLANET’SGUIDE TO THE HARMONYOF WORLDS, AND OURFRIENDS FROMTHE STARS...
...THEY CAMETO US NEARLY TENYEARS AGO, DURING THESUPER BOWL...
CHAPTER THREE
PLEASE TO
FOLLOWING
LIGHT OF INDICATION-
PROGRESSION-
WALKING DESTINATION.
OFFICE TOPMAN
AWAITS.
WELCOME
TO STARPORT
CHICAGO. I’M
MELANTHA MOORE, FROM
THE UNITED NATIONS
INTERSTELLAR TRADE
ORGANIZATION.
PROFIT
TO YOUR
HOUSE.
AND
TO YOURS,
CHAY’ASH.
CAPTAIN
SWOBODA.
LIEUTENANT KELLEHER.
APPRECIATION FOR
YOUR PRESENCE. YOUR
FLIGHT WAS SWIFT
AND EXCELLENT,
I TRUST?
WELL...
IT WAS
SWIFT.
YOU ARE
UNCOMFORTABLE,
CAPTAIN?
I JUST
GET A LITTLE...UH....
MERVOUS AROUND
HEIGHTS.
AH, ONE
UNDERSTANDS...
AND REQUIRES BUT
A MOMENT TO
RECTIFY.
PLEASE TO
BE SEATED.
IT IS
SUPERIOR TO
SPEAK IN COMFORT,
NAI?
UH, YEAH.
LOOK, I’LL
COME RIGHT TO
THE POINT. WE’VE UNCOVERED
EVIDENCE OF AN ASSASSINATION
PLOT AGAINST THE SKRIT TRADE
ENVOY. WE BELIEVE IT’S THE
WORK OF A GROUP CALLED
EARTHBLOOD...
THEY ARE A
RADICAL OFFSHOOT
COMBINATION OF
THE EARTH-FIRST AND
ALT-RIGHT PURITY GROUPS.
BASICALLY, THEY...OBJECT
TO THE ALIEN
PRESENCE.
OBJECT?
ISOLATIONISTS
AND BIGOTS, CHAY’ASH.
WE’SHEY ASSIAYAS NOVO TELLA NASH-TARA.
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