Tyler

Nell laughed. “Nothing at all.”

“You’ve got Margie running for cover. Imagine, you talking back to her and refusing to be pushed around. Are you sick or something?” she added, her keen old eyes probing.

Nell bit into the biscuit. “Not at all. I’m just tired of being worked to death, I guess.”

“And watching Margie flirt with Tyler, I’ve no doubt.”

Nell glared at the older woman. “Stop that. You know I don’t like him.”

“You like him. Maybe it’s my fault that things never got going between you,” Bella confessed gently. “I was trying to spare you more heartache, or I’d never have said anything when you put on that pretty dress….”

Nell turned away. She didn’t like being reminded of that day. “He isn’t my type,” she said gruffly. “He’s Margie’s type.”

“That’s what you think,” Bella murmured dryly. She put her towel down and stood staring at the other woman. “I’ve wanted to tell you for years that most men are nice critters. Some of them are even domesticated. All men aren’t like Darren McAnders,” she added, watching Nell’s face go pale. “And he wasn’t even that bad except when he was pushed into getting drunk. He loved Margie.”

“And I loved him,” Nell said coldly. “He flirted with me and teased me, just like Tyler did at first. And then he did…he did that to me, and it wasn’t even because he was attracted to me. It was just to make Margie jealous!”

“It was despicable,” Bella agreed. “But it was worse for you because you cared about him, and you felt betrayed and used. It was a good thing I happened upstairs when I did.”

“Yes,” Nell said tautly. The memories hurt.

“But it wasn’t as bad as you’ve always made it out to be, either,” Bella said firmly, ignoring the shocked look she got from Nell. “It wasn’t,” she added. “If you’d ever gone out with boys or had a date, you’d understand what happened a lot better. You hadn’t even been kissed—”

“Stop it,” Nell muttered miserably. She stuck her hands in her jeans and shifted. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m plain and countrified and no man is ever going to want me, no matter what I do. And I heard what Tyler said that night,” she added with a cold glare. “I heard every word. He said he didn’t want a ‘lovesick tomboy hanging on to his boots.’”

Bella sighed. “So you did hear him. I was afraid that’s why he was getting the deep-freeze treatment lately.”

“It doesn’t matter, you know,” Nell said with deliberate carelessness. “It’s just as well I found out early that I was annoying him. I’ve been careful not to bother him since.”

Bella started to say something, but obviously thought better of it. “How long is Her Highness here for?”

“Just until tomorrow afternoon, thank God.” Nell sighed. “I’d better get cracking. We’re going riding, and then this afternoon I’ve got a busload of shoppers to take into town. I thought I’d run them over to the El Con mall. They might like to get some real Western gear at Cooper’s.”

“The silversmiths are over near San Xavier,” she was reminded. “And they could have some Papago fry bread for refreshments.”

—Tohono o’odham,“ Nell corrected automatically. “That’s a real Papago word, meaning people of the desert. They changed it because they got tired of being called ’bean people’ in Zuni.”

“I can’t say that,” Bella muttered.

“Sure you can. Tohono o’odham. Anyway, the fry bread is a good idea if we have any time left from the shopping.”

“Are any of the husbands tagging along?” Bella asked.

Nell pursed her lips. “Do you think I’d look this cheerful if the men were coming with us?”

“Stupid question,” Bella said with a sigh. “I’d better get started on chow, or is Chappy laying on a barbecue tonight before the square dance? He never asks me, he just goes ahead with whatever he wants to do.”

“Chappy did say something about a barbecue. Why don’t you make a bowl of potato salad and some homemade rolls and a few pies to go with it?” She put an arm around Bella’s formidable girth. “That will save you some work, too, won’t it? Actually, I think Chappy’s kind of sweet on you.”

Bella flushed and glared at Nell. “He ain’t, neither! Now get out of here and let me get busy.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nell grinned and curtsied before she darted out the back door.

Nell went down to the stables to check on the mounts for the morning ride. Chappy Staples was alone there, and after all the years, Nell was still a little in awe of him. He was older than most of the men, but he could outride the best of them. He’d never said a thing out of the way to Nell, but she couldn’t help her remoteness. It was the same with all the men, except Tyler.

“How is the mare this morning?” she asked the wiry man with the pale blue eyes, referring to a horse with a bad shoe.

“I had the farrier come over and take a look at her. He replaced the shoe, but she’s still restless this morning. I wouldn’t take her out if I were you.”

She sighed. “That will leave us one mount short,” she murmured. “Margie’s gone riding with Tyler and the boys.”

“If you can handle it alone, I’ll keep Marlowe here and let him help me work the colt, and one of the guests can have his horse,” Chappy said. “How about it?”

“That sounds great.” She sighed, thanking her lucky stars that the foulmouthed Marlowe was being kept clear of her guests. If he kept it up, he’d have to go, and that would leave them a man short. Nell didn’t like the idea of adding on new men. It had taken her long enough to get used to the ones she already had on the place.

“We’ll start at ten,” she told Chappy. “And we have to be back in time for lunch. I’m taking the ladies shopping about one-thirty.”

“No problem, ma’am.” He tipped his hat and returned to work.

Nell wandered back toward the house, deep in thought, almost running head-on into Tyler because she didn’t see him until he rounded the corner of the house.

She gasped, stepping back. “Sorry,” she said, faltering. “I didn’t see you.”

He glared down at her. “I was about to head off riding with Margie and the boys when I heard that I’m escorting Margie to the square dance tonight.”

“Are you?” she asked, all at sea.

He lifted an eyebrow. “That’s what Margie tells me. She said it was your idea,” he added in an exaggerated Texas drawl that could have skinned a cactus at close range.

“I guess you wouldn’t believe me if I told you I haven’t said a word to her about it,” she said resignedly.

“You throw her at me every time she comes out here, don’t you?” he asked with a mocking smile.

She lowered her eyes and turned away. “I did once or twice, sure. I thought you might enjoy her company,” she said in a subdued tone. “She’s like you. Sophisticated and classy and upper crust. But if you’d rather she went with someone else, I’ll see what I can do.”

He caught her arm, noticing the way she tensed and froze. “All right. You don’t have to make a federal case out of it. I just don’t like having myself volunteered for guest escort services. I like Margie, but I don’t need a matchmaker.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” she said more sadly than she realized. “Will you let go of my arm, please?”

“You can’t bear to be touched, can you?” he asked speculatively. “That was one of the first things I noticed about you. Why?”

Her heart went wild. He couldn’t know that it was his touch lancing through her like white-hot pleasure that made her tremble, not a dislike of being touched by him. And that surprised her. “My private life is none of your business,” she said firmly.

“No. You’ve made that very clear lately,” he replied. He let her go as if her arm burned his fingers. “Okay, honey. Have it your own way. As for Margie, I’ll work things out with her.”

He sounded vaguely exasperated, but Nell was far too nervous to wonder about his tone of voice. A quick getaway was on her mind. When she was alone with him, it took all her willpower not to throw herself into his arms, despite all her inhibitions.

“Okay,” she said, and shrugged, as if what he did were of no consequence to her. She went around him and into the house without looking back, unaware of his quiet gaze following her every step of the way.

Chapter Two

Nell avoided Tyler for the rest of the day, and she didn’t go to the square dance that night. She excused herself right after the barbecue and went up to her room. She was being a coward, she thought miserably, but at least she wouldn’t have to watch Margie flirt with Tyler.

But memories of Tyler wouldn’t be put out of her mind. Her thoughts drifted relentlessly back to the very beginning, to his first few days at the ranch. From the moment she’d met him at the airport, he’d been gentle and kind to her, putting her at ease, making himself right at home in her company.

And not only with Nell—he’d won over the men and Bella just as quickly. Nell had warmed to him as she never had to any man, with the exception of Darren McAnders. But even though Darren had left deep scars on her emotions, Nell knew instinctively that Tyler wouldn’t harm her. Before she realized what was happening to her, she was following him around like a puppy.

She grimaced, remembering. She’d alternated between sighing over him and trying to find ways to make him more comfortable. She didn’t realize how her eagerness to please him might seem to other people…or even to Tyler. She was in awe of him, the wound of McAnders’s long-ago rejection forgotten.

There was a square dance the second week he was in residence. Nell hadn’t put on a dress, but she did make sure her long hair was clean and neatly brushed, and she didn’t wear her slouch hat. As usual when there were strangers around, especially male ones, she drew into herself. Tyler made a convenient hiding place, and she got behind him and stayed there.

“Scared?” he’d teased gently, not minding her shy company. She was a little sunflower, a child to cosset. He hadn’t asked her age, but he assumed she hadn’t made it out of her teens yet. She didn’t threaten him in any way, and he could afford to be kind to her.

“I don’t mix well,” she confessed, smiling. “And I don’t really trust men very much. Some of the guests…well, they’re older men and their wives aren’t interested in them. I guess any young woman, even one like me, is fair game to them. I don’t want trouble, so mostly I stay away from dances.” Her dark eyes sought his. “You don’t mind if I stick back here with you?”

“Of course not.” He leaned against one of the posts that supported the loft and busied his fingers braiding three strands of rawhide he’d found. “I haven’t been to a barn dance in a long time. Is this an ongoing ritual here?”

“Every other Saturday night,” she confided. “We even invite the kids, so everybody gets to join in. The band—” she indicated the four-man band “—is a local group. We pay them forty dollars for the evening. They aren’t famous, but we think they’re pretty good.”

“They are,” he agreed with a smile. He glanced down at her, wondering what she’d think of the kind of party he was used to, where the women wore designer gowns and there were full orchestras or at least string quartets and jazz quintets to provide the music.

She twisted a strand of her hair in her fingers nervously, watching the married couples dance. There was a wistful expression in her eyes. He frowned as he watched her.

“Do you want to dance, Nell?” he asked gently.

She blushed. “No. I, well, I don’t dance,” she confessed, thrilling to the thought of being in his arms. But that might not be a good thing. He might see how attracted she was to him. She felt helpless when his hand accidentally brushed hers. She wasn’t sure she could handle a dose of him at close quarters without giving away her growing infatuation for him.

“I could teach you,” he volunteered, faintly amused at her reticence.

“No, I’d better not. I don’t want to…” She was going to say that she didn’t want to have to explain to the male guests why she wouldn’t dance with anyone but Tyler. It was too hard to make him understand that her flesh crawled at the thought of being handled by strange hands. But she coveted his touch, and that was new.

“Okay, tidbit. No need to worry the point.” He smiled. “But I think I’m about to be abducted, so what will you do while I’m away?” he asked, indicating a heavyset middle-aged woman who was heading toward him with a gleeful smile.

“I’ll just help out at the refreshment table,” she said, and excused herself. She watched him being led onto the dance floor and she sighed, wishing she was the one dancing with the long, tall Texan. But she was uncertain of herself. It was better if she didn’t rush things. Much better.

After that evening, he became her port in a storm. If there were business meetings or problems that she had to discuss with the men or male guests, she always made sure Tyler was included. She began to think of him as a buffer between herself and a world that frightened her. But even as she relied on him, she couldn’t help feeling an attraction that was making it impossible for her to go on as she had. She wanted him to notice her, to see her as a woman. It was the first time in years that she’d wanted to show off her femininity, to look the way a woman should.

But as she stared at herself in her mirror one morning, she wanted to cry. There wasn’t even good raw material to work with. She’d seen photos of movie stars who looked almost as bad as she did without their makeup, but she didn’t have the first idea how to make herself look beautiful. Her hair, while long and lustrous, needed shaping. Her eyebrows almost disappeared because they were so sun bleached. She had a good figure, but she was too shy to wear revealing clothes. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to go overboard, anyway, she told herself. It had taken years to get over her bad experience and the brutal honesty of the first man she’d set her cap at.

Finally, she’d braided her hair into two long pigtails and looped Indian beaded holders around them. That didn’t look too bad, considering that her paternal grandmother was a full-blooded Apache. She only wished her face looked as good as her hair did. Well, miracles did happen. Maybe someday one would happen for her. And Tyler did actually seem to like her.

She tried a hint of lipstick and put on her newest jeans—the only ones she had that really fit properly—with a pullover knit blouse. She smiled at her reflection. She really didn’t look too bad, she thought, except for her face. Maybe she could wear a gunnysack over it….

Then Bella called her to lunch before she had time to worry anymore.

She bounced into the dining room with more energy than she’d had for weeks. She felt reborn, full of new, shy confidence. She was blooming.

The rain had come to the desert, making the guests uncomfortable and ranching dangerous. The men were working overtime keeping cattle and horses out of the dry washes that could kill so suddenly and efficiently when they filled with unexpected rainwater. The past three days had brought a deluge, and two of the guests were giving up and going home. The other eight were going to tough it out. Nell had smiled at their stubbornness and was determined to make life as pleasant as possible for them.

The guests were having their meal half an hour later than Nell, Tyler and Bella in the huge oak-decorated dining room with its heavy chairs and table and comfortable lounge furniture.

Tyler hadn’t shown up, but Bella was bustling around putting platters of food on the table when she got a glimpse of the mistress of the house and almost dropped the tray she was carrying.

“That you, Nell?” she asked hesitantly, her gray head cocked sideways.

“Who are you expecting?” Nell asked, laughing. “Well, I won’t win any beauty contests, but don’t I look better?”

“Too much better,” Bella said gently. “Oh, honey, don’t do it. Don’t set yourself up for such a hard fall.”

Nell stopped breathing. “What?” she asked.

“You take him things for the cabin,” Bella said. “You sew buttons on his shirts. You make sure he’s warm and dry when it rains. You’re forever making him special things in the kitchen. And now this transformation. Honey, he’s a sophisticated man who was, until just recently, very rich and well traveled.” She looked worried. “I don’t want to smash any dreams, but he’s used to a different kind of woman. He’s being kind to you, Nell. But that’s all it is. Don’t mistake kindness for true love. Not again.”

Nell’s face went bloodred. She hadn’t realized that she was doing those things. She’d liked him and she wanted him to be happy. But it didn’t look like that—of course it didn’t. And her new appearance was going to put him in a very embarrassing situation.

“I like him,” Nell faltered. “But I’m not…not chasing him.” She turned and ran upstairs. “I’ll change.”

“Nell!”

She ignored Bella’s remorseful wail and kept going. But she wouldn’t come back down for dinner, despite the pleading from the other side of the door. She felt raw and hurt, even though Bella had just meant to be kind. Nell was going to have to watch her step. She couldn’t afford to let Tyler think she was chasing him. God forbid that she should invite heartache again.

Downstairs, Tyler and Bella had been sharing a quiet meal. He studied the old woman curiously.

“Something bothering you?” he asked politely.

“Nell.” She sighed. “She won’t come down. She fixed her hair and changed clothes, and I…” She cleared her throat. “I said something.”

“Nell could use a little self-confidence,” Tyler said quietly. “That wasn’t kind of you to knock her down when she was just getting started.”

“I don’t want her to get hurt again,” Bella moaned. “You just mean to be kind, I know that. But that child has never had any affection, except from me. She doesn’t know what it is to be loved and wanted. Her father lived for Ted. Nell was always an afterthought. And the only other time she was interested in a man, she got hurt bad.” She sighed again. “So maybe I’m overprotective. But I just didn’t want to see her throw herself at you because you pay her a little attention.”

“I never thought she was,” Tyler said, smiling. “You’re wrong. Nell’s just being friendly. She’s a cute little kid with pretty brown eyes and a nice way about her. I like her and she likes me. But that’s all it is. You don’t have to worry.”

Bella eyed him, wondering if he could be that blind. Maybe he could. “Nell is twenty-four,” she said.

His black eyebrows arched. “I beg your pardon?”

“Well, how old did you think she was?” the woman asked.

“Nineteen. Eighteen, maybe.” He frowned. “Are you serious?”

“Never more so,” Bella told him. “So please don’t make the mistake of putting her in patent leather shoes and ruffled pinafores. She’s a grown woman who’s lived alone and been slighted all her life. She’s just ripe to have her heart torn out by the roots. Please don’t be the one to do that to her.”

Tyler hardly heard her. He’d thought of Nell as a cute kid, but maybe he’d gotten everything wrong. Surely she didn’t see him as a potential romantic interest? That was just too farfetched. Why, she wasn’t even his type. He preferred a much more sophisticated, worldly woman.

He picked at his food. “I didn’t realize,” he began, “that she might be thinking of me in those terms. I’ll make sure I don’t do anything to encourage her.” He smiled at Bella. “I sure as hell don’t want a lovesick tomboy grabbing me by the boots every time I walk by. I don’t like being chased, even by attractive women. And Nell is a sweet child, but even a blind man couldn’t accuse her of being beautiful.”

“Have some more beef,” Bella said after a minute, grateful that Nell was still up in her room and not likely to hear what he’d said.

Of course, as fate would have it, Nell had started back down the hall and was standing just outside the door. She’d heard every word, and her face was a pasty white. She just barely made it back to her room before the tears that she’d pent-up escaped.

Maybe it had been for the best that she’d found out early what Tyler really thought of her. She’d gone a little crazy because of the attention he’d paid her, but now that she knew what he really felt about her, she’d keep those stupid impulses under better control. Like Bella said, she’d mistaken kindness for interest. And she should have known better. For God’s sake, hadn’t she learned her lesson already? She had nothing that would attract a man.

So she’d dried her eyes and put back on her comfortable clothes, and later she’d gone down to supper as if nothing at all had happened. Neither Bella nor Tyler realized what she’d overheard, and she hadn’t told them.

But after learning how Tyler felt, Nell’s attitude toward him changed. She was polite and helpful, but the light that had been in her eyes when she looked at him had gone out. She never looked directly at him and she never sought him out. The little attentions vanished, as did her shy adoration. She treated him like any other ranch hand, and what she really felt, only she knew. She never talked about him again, even to Bella.

But tonight, in the silence of her room, she still ached for what might have been. It seemed very likely that she wasn’t cut out for a close relationship with a man, much less with Tyler Jacobs. But that didn’t stop her from being hurt by what had happened. It had been the first time in years that she’d made an effort to look like a woman. It would be the last, too, she vowed. She rolled over and closed her eyes. Minutes later, she was asleep.

* * *

A couple of weeks later, the sun was out, thank God, because the recent rains had been catastrophic. Bookings had been canceled and the ranch’s finances had suffered. But now they had all eighteen rooms filled, most of them double occupancy. The ranch catered to families with children, and family fun was emphasized, with hayrides and trail rides and barbecues and square dancing. They did a lot of repeat business. Mr. Howes and his wife had been regulars for ten years, and although Mr. Howes spent a great deal of his time falling off his horse, it never seemed to deter him from trying to keep his girth in the saddle. And despite the fact that Mrs. Sims had been infuriating her ulcer with Crowbait’s homemade firehouse chili for the past five years, she kept trying to eat it. She was a widow who taught school back East during the year and vacationed for a week at the ranch every summer.

Most of the regulars were like family now, and even the husbands didn’t bother Nell because she knew them. But there was always the exception, like the very greasy-looking Mr. Cova who had a plain, loving wife whose affection he seemed determined to abuse. He was always watching Nell, and she looked forward to the day when they left.

“You could have Tyler speak to Mr. Cova, if things get too rough,” Bella mentioned as she was setting the buffet table for lunch.

“No, thanks,” Nell said quietly. “I can take care of myself.”

She turned, almost colliding with Tyler’s tall form as he appeared quietly in the doorway. She mumbled an apology and dashed past him without a word. He watched her irritably for a minute before he swung himself into a straddling position over one of the kitchen chairs and tossed his hat onto the table. His lean, dark hands lit a cigarette while he nursed a warm regret for the friendliness he’d once shared with Nell. He felt as if he’d hurt her somehow. Her quiet sensitivity disturbed him. She touched a chord in him that no other woman had ever reached.

“You’re brooding again,” Bella murmured dryly.

He smiled faintly. “It’s just that Nell’s changed,” he said quietly, lifting the cigarette to his chiseled lips. “I thought we were going to be the best of friends. But now, when I come into a room, she can’t leave quick enough. She sends me messages through Chappy. If I need to see the books, she has somebody bring them to me.” He shrugged. “I feel like a damned leper.”

“She’s just nervous around men,” Bella soothed. “She always has been—ask Chappy.”