Needed: Full-Time Father

‘You’d get a bit more warning with an aneurysm, you’d think,’ Helen pondered out loud. As a surgical nurse she’d seen her fair share. ‘I mean, he’d have been pale and sweaty, in some sort of distress.’

‘He was nothing like that,’ Madison said. ‘Given it’s Gerard, I’m sure the autopsy will take place very quickly and I’d expect we’d have some answers by tomorrow. Not that it’s going to help. You should have seen his poor wife and children, they were absolutely devastated. It came completely out of the blue. They’re such a close family.’

‘And you were there on your own?’ Helen gasped.

‘Only for a couple of moments,’ Madison corrected. ‘Like I said, the new consultant had arrived and even though he couldn’t get in straight away, he saw what was happening through the glass doors and raced around.’

‘Poor thing,’ Helen sighed. Madison was grateful for the coffee and sympathy, glad to peel off her shoes for five minutes and dunk a chocolate biscuit in her coffee. But when Helen continued talking, with a jolt Madison realised her sympathy hadn’t been aimed towards her. ‘It must have been awful for him. Imagine that happening on your first day!’

‘He seemed to deal with it all OK.’ Madison chewed her lip as she thought back over the day. ‘He just got on with it, I guess.’

‘Only because he had no choice,’ Helen pointed out. ‘Imagine starting a new job and your mentor and senior dropping dead. Poor thing, I bet it was all left for him to carry.’

‘Not all of it,’ Madison answered, but her response was a touch too quick, just a tad too defensive. As busy and as awful as her own day had been, for Guy it must have been far worse. Despite the fact the hospital was brand-new, they’d had a generous number of patients and Guy, with no senior on hand and no orientation day behind him, had had to deal with the lot. From critically ill patients to just the basics everyone encountered when they started a new job—such as where the loo was located, the coffee-mugs, the X-ray pads. It was the first time Madison had actually thought about it, the first time she had really taken stock and looked at the events from someone else’s perspective. A wave of guilt washed over her. Throughout the day, Guy had repeatedly asked her how she was bearing up, had even made her a cup of tea and bought her a sandwich from the machine at around two when he’d realised that she hadn’t eaten. And what had she done for him?

Precisely nothing!

‘Gosh.’ Helen blinked. ‘What a terrible start.’

‘It was.’ Madison grimaced. ‘I’m going to try and not think about it, at least until I’ve got Emily into bed.’

‘Good idea,’ Helen agreed sympathetically. ‘Switch that brain off for a couple of hours—it must have been an exhausting day. Do you want to stay here for dinner?’

Madison was about to say no, to shake her head and call for Emily to collect her things, but the prospect of going home, of pulling one of many frozen casseroles out of the freezer and attempting to be normal after the day she’d had, had Madison changing her shake to a nod.

‘That would be great, if you’re sure you don’t mind.’

‘Mind? Life’s so much easier when Richard’s got someone to play with. And, before you ask, despite Emily’s guilty look, she was actually a delight last night. They were both asleep by eight.’

‘Good.’ Madison gave a relieved smile, then chewed her lip nervously, taking a deep breath before continuing. ‘Helen? Given what’s happened today, I actually can’t see me managing to get away on time for a while.’ Madison gave a guilty shuffle in her seat, which Helen easily interpreted.

‘Don’t worry if you’re late home over the next couple of weeks, it doesn’t matter a scrap. You were always going to be busy, with the department opening, and with what’s just happened you can hardly be expected to just walk out at three-thirty!”

‘You don’t mind?’ Madison checked, relief flooding her.

They had an arrangement with childcare that only two women could have engineered or understood. Both were single parents, both lived in the same street, both were nurses, which meant guilt heaped upon guilt, trying to juggle work and motherhood. Two years ago, moaning over their questionable cappuccinos, courtesy of the canteen’s new machine, they had come to a tentative agreement. Madison dropped Emily off at seven each morning, leaving Helen to give her breakfast and do the school run, as well as picking Emily up from school. Madison’s shifts normally finished at three-thirty but as a NUM her work hours were as close to nine to five as nursing got, and even when she’d worked at her old hospital, which was further away, more often than not Madison’s car had pulled into Helen’s drive only a moment or two after Helen’s. But it was great to know that Emily was taken care of and not to have to rush away from work if the situation dictated that she stay. In return for Helen doing the school run, Madison had Richard to sleep over one night a week to enable Helen to do a night shift—or a ‘sanity shift’, as Helen called it.

And two years in, despite Madison moving to the new hospital, despite the occasional hiccup when one of them was sick, somehow the system they had created that long-ago morning still stood strong.

‘I don’t a mind a bit if you’re late for a couple of weeks,’ Helen carried, her voice a touch higher as she asked for a favour of her own. ‘Actually, it will make me feel less guilty, asking you for a favour! I need a babysitter on Friday night.’

‘Are you doing an extra “sanity shift”?’ Madison grinned. ‘Sure, no problem. I’d be happy to have him. We can both be guilt-free about dumping on each other.’

‘Not me, I’m afraid. Guilt’s going to be my best friend for the next few days.’ Helen winced, then, screwing her eyes closed, she blurted out the last four words Madison had expected to hear.

‘I’ve got a date!’

‘Oh!’ Madison blinked. ‘With a man?’

‘No,’ Helen answered, with her tongue firmly in her cheek. ‘With a hot-looking lesbian I met. Of course with a man!’

‘I’m sorry.’ Madison gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘I had no idea you were seeing anyone.’

‘I’m not—at least not yet. It’s our first date and if I ask Mum to babysit she’s going to read a million and one things into it. It’s just easier not to say anything at this stage.’

‘So, what’s he like?’ Madison asked. ‘How did you meet him?’

At the school playground, of all places.’ Helen giggled. ‘He’s a single dad. He just moved to the area. His wife died. Ages ago,’ Helen added hastily. ‘So he’s got no baggage.’

‘My husband died ages ago,’ Madison reminded her, ‘and I’m still paying excess.’

‘But you’re so-o complicated,’ Helen teased.

‘If you’re over thirty, you’ve got baggage,’ Madison said dryly. ‘So, does this single dad with zero baggage have a name?’

‘Matthew.’

‘A job?’

‘He’s a carpenter.’

‘How many kids?’

‘One.’ Helen gave a tiny shudder. ‘Thank God. Imagine if he had triplets?’

‘Perish the thought,’ Madison said, pulling a face. ‘So where’s your man taking you?’

‘I don’t know.’ Helen beamed. ‘He just said to wear smart-casual.’

‘Which could mean anything,’ Madison warned. ‘You should have seen what Guy turned up in today. Jeans, sneakers and a T-shirt. And when I told him to get changed, all he did was put on a name badge.’ To her utter indignation Helen started to laugh. ‘It’s not funny,’ Madison snapped.

‘Oh, but it is.’ Helen giggled. ‘Given what a stickler you are for uniforms!’

‘I am not,’ Madison replied hotly. ‘I just like to look smart.’ Helen raised a very knowing eyebrow, which Madison badly wanted to ignore but found she couldn’t. ‘It makes the patients feel more secure to see a well-presented staff member. A doctor rocking up to the bedside in jeans hardly inspires confidence.’

‘Well, if I were a patient, I wouldn’t give a damn what the doctor was wearing,’ Helen mused. ‘So long as he knew what he was doing and could actually manage to look me in the eye and talk to me on occasions. There are plenty of doctors in thousand-dollar suits with the most appalling bedside manner.’

‘Perhaps,’ Madison reluctantly conceded.

‘Is he good-looking?’ Helen asked, and Madison wished she hadn’t. In fact, she dearly wanted this conversation to be over.

‘I guess,’ Madison answered tartly. ‘If you like the “just got out of bed and bypassed the shower” look.’

‘Oh, but I do.’ Helen giggled. ‘Is he single?’

‘I didn’t ask.’ Madison bristled. ‘But from what Gerard told me, I’d assume so. He’s completely irresponsible—apparently he’d only commit to six months with the department.’

‘Hardly a hanging offence,’ Helen said laughingly, but Madison didn’t join in.

‘Gerard told me that when he appointed him, Guy had spent most of his medical career travelling the world, gaining experience. Which is fine and everything, but it hardly paints him as the most reliable of men!’

‘He must be rich, though, if he can afford to turn down a decent job.’

‘Money isn’t everything,’ Madison said tartly.

‘He sounds perfectly lovely,’ Helen sighed. ‘Maybe we can double date.’

‘I’m fully booked this century,’ Madison snapped. And given Helen wasn’t going to move, she made herself busy, slicing cucumber for the salad and putting on a pan of water for the rice. Even though the conversation had ended a good couple of minutes ago, Madison found herself reviving it. ‘Believe me, Guy Boyd would be the last person I’d date.’

‘Perhaps.’ Helen smiled, not rising to Madison’s rather brittle tone. ‘But have you ever thought of getting back out there?’

‘Out where?’ Madison asked, knowing perfectly well what Helen meant but deliberately stalling her.

‘Dating, Madison,’ Helen said. ‘It’s been five years since Mark died…’

‘And it’s taken me nearly all of them to get back on my feet,’ Madison pointed out. ‘I used the words “free spirit” affectionately when I first met Mark,’ Madison said. ‘I thought it was fun to follow your heart, live for today. I really believed Mark when he said that tomorrow would take care of itself. But unlike Mark, having a baby made me grow up, having a baby meant that I did start thinking about tomorrow…’

‘Madison, I know you’ve been hurt…’ Standing up, Helen checked the door was closed. ‘Heaven knows, you’ve got every reason to be wary, but there are some good guys out there.’

‘How do you know that?’ Madison’s words were as confused as they were angry. ‘I’m doing OK. Emily and I are doing just fine by ourselves!’ She shook her head, not at all ready to go there after such an emotionally charged day. ‘Can we drop it?’

‘Sure,’ Helen said kindly, but her tiny sigh told Madison that she’d have loved to have carried on with the conversation, would have loved to have pushed a little more. After a moment’s hesitation, a moment to wait and see if Madison was going to add anything further, Helen gave in and headed over to the fridge. She pulled out some chicken, chatting about something Richard had said to Emily. But as grateful as Madison was for the change of subject, inside she felt jolted and uneasy, and it wasn’t just to do with Gerard’s death but with the pace of her own life. The fact that Helen, after the appalling marriage she’d been through, after swearing off men for the next century at least, could even contemplate taking up the baton and resuming the race was beyond Madison’s comprehension.

Helen was moving on with her life, suggesting even that Madison do the same.

Only she truly wasn’t ready.

CHAPTER THREE

‘IT’S sports uniform today!’ Emily said accusingly as she eyed her uniform, crisply laid out on the sofa.

‘Which is what I’ve put out for you,’ Madison answered, depositing a glass of fruit juice on the coffee-table for her daughter. She started applying her foundation as she made a speedy exit towards the bathroom.

‘You gave me stripy socks!’ Emily’s words stopped Madison in her tracks, her un-mascara’d eyelashes blinking at the simple but unusual mistake. ‘They have to be plain white socks, but these have got a red stripe around the top!’

‘Then I’ll get you some plain white ones,’ Madison answered, annoyed at herself for that simple slip-up. The morning routine was usually written in stone, but the morning wasn’t normally preceded by a fitful night spent tossing and turning. To Madison’s shame, it hadn’t just been Gerard’s sudden death that had kept her staring at the ceiling into the small hours, but Helen’s rather pointed comments. Despite the irrefutable evidence, Madison resisted the thought—was it the very new, very inappropriate consultant who had caused her sudden brush with insomnia?

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