Misfit Maid

‘My own questions exactly,’ asserted Delagarde, ‘and if you can get any more sense out of her than I did, you may call me a dunderhead.’

Maidie found herself the target of two pairs of eyes, the one popping with questions, the other registering a grim satisfaction. She drew a resolute breath, thrusting down the most unpleasant feelings engendered by Lord Delagarde’s persistent rejection. She refused to be put off. She had come this far. She was not going to be turned away from her purpose now. A sudden thought struck her. If this lady was Delagarde’s aunt, and she was already living in the house, then there must be an end to Delagarde’s scruples.

‘But this is excellent!’ she uttered, with characteristic frankness, moving forward to grasp the elder lady’s hand. ‘You are his aunt?’

‘Great-aunt,’ amended the other, surprise in her voice.

‘And you live here!’ Maidie turned enthusiastically to Delagarde. ‘I don’t understand why you were making such a fuss. What possible objection can there be to my living here in these circumstances?’

‘There is every objection. Besides, my aunt does not reside here. She is here only on a short visit.’ He added on a note of sarcasm, ‘Sorry as I am to disappoint you.’

‘But you may prolong your visit, may you not?’ asked Maidie eagerly of the other lady. ‘I cannot think that the business will take very long. Indeed, I hope it won’t. I am as eager to remove back to the country as Lord Delagarde is to get rid of me. But I won’t go back before I am settled.’

‘You see?’ Delagarde said, crossing the room to take up his post at the mantelpiece again. ‘Mad as a March hare!’ He looked across at Maidie. ‘You are wasting your time. You need not think that my aunt, who is bound to be shocked by your conduct, will support you. She will undoubtedly advise me to send you packing.’

‘I can speak for myself, I thank you, Laurie,’ announced the older woman firmly.

Her attention caught, Maidie’s glance went from Delagarde to his aunt, who was studying her with some interest. She stared back boldly, thinking hard. Delagarde seemed to be adamant, she was making no headway there. But hope was reviving fast. If she could only bring this lady round to her side! She was not, she told herself, a schemer. Not like Adela, not in the true sense of the word. Only what else could she have done? She would have preferred to set up house on her own. It was what she had planned to do, with Worm as chaperon. But that scheme would not do, as she had been brought to realise. She had been obliged to fall back upon convention, and for that she needed help. It had not entered her head that her designated assistant would decline to give that help. Now what was she to do? She made up her mind.

Addressing herself to Delagarde’s aunt, she said, ‘I have not properly introduced myself. I am Lady Mary Hope, daughter of the late John Hope, fourth Earl of Shurland; and great-niece of the late Reginald Hope, fifth Earl of Shurland, and my erstwhile guardian. I am related to Lord Delagarde through my mother, who was a Burloyne.’

‘Have we any relations called Burloyne, Aunt?’ asked Delagarde. ‘You ought to know. She claims it comes through the Otterburns.’

The elder lady nodded. ‘It does, indeed. Although it is some few generations back.’

‘I thought as much. Far too remote to be of consequence.’

Maidie brightened. ‘Are you an Otterburn, then, ma’am?’

‘I am Lady Hester Otterburn. Dorinda—that is, Delagarde’s mother—was my niece.’ To Maidie’s relief, Lady Hester smiled and touched her arm with a friendly hand. ‘What is it you want, child?’

Drawing a breath, Maidie plunged in again. ‘I want Lord Delagarde to arrange my debut.’

For a moment, Lady Hester looked at her with almost as great a blankness as had Delagarde. Then, to Maidie’s bewilderment, she burst out laughing. Lord Delagarde’s reluctance to oblige her was at least comprehensible. But this? She watched as the elder lady betook herself to Delagarde’s lately vacated chair and sat down.

‘Forgive me,’ she uttered, as soon as she could speak, ‘but that is the funniest idea I have heard in years.’

‘I don’t see why,’ Maidie said, pained.

‘Nor do I,’ agreed Delagarde, regarding his aunt with disfavour. ‘What the devil do you mean by it, Aunt Hes?’

Lady Hester bubbled over again. ‘The picture of you, Laurie, in the role of nursemaid to an ingenue. Really, it does not bear imagination! What in the world possessed you to think of such a thing, child? Laurie has no more notion of how to steer a young girl through the social shoals than the man in the moon.’

‘There is no man in the moon,’ Maidie said, vaguely irritated.

‘This is typical,’ commented Delagarde, gesturing towards her. ‘Her whole conversation consists of nonsequitur statements.’ To Maidie, he added, ‘We know there is no man in the moon. What is that to the purpose?’

Maidie tutted. ‘It is a foolish expression, which only shows how little people know of the cosmos.’

Both Lady Hester and Delagarde stared at her. Maidie eyed them both back, frowning. Had she said something out of the way? She knew she had been too little in company to appreciate the niceties of etiquette. Adela was always complaining of her lack of social graces. There had been some spite in that, but perhaps there was more ground for the complaint than Maidie had thought. Well, it mattered little. She had scant interest in society, and if only she could get this business over and done with, she would not be in need of social graces.

‘May we return to the point of this discussion?’ she asked, her tone a trifle frigid.

‘By all means,’ said Lady Hester amiably. ‘Do tell me why you hit upon poor Laurie for the task of introducing you.’

‘It was not by chance, you know.’ Maidie dug once more into her reticule, and brought out the letter, which she gave to Lady Hester. ‘This is from Lady Delagarde.’

‘Thank you. Do sit down, child.’

Thus adjured, Maidie resumed her former chair as Lord Delagarde walked across and took a seat on a little sofa that faced the fire. She eyed him surreptitiously, aware that he was watching her. Not, she dared say, with any degree of approval. Not that she wanted his approval. If there had been any other option open to her, she would have felt much inclined to abandon her scheme, for she was sure he was going to prove difficult. He was evidently a man used to having his own way, and all too likely to give her a great deal of trouble.

The thought faded from her mind as Lady Hester came to the end of the letter she was reading, and spoke.

‘It is Dorinda’s hand, I can vouch for that.’

‘I never doubted it,’ said Delagarde. ‘I hope I can recognise my own mother’s handwriting. What of it? You have not heard the half of this ridiculous story. Here is this female—’

‘Lady Mary, you mean,’ interpolated his aunt.

‘If she is Lady Mary—’

‘Oh, I think there can be no doubt of that.’

‘Thank you,’ put in Maidie gratefully. ‘I cannot think why he would not believe me.’

Delagarde almost snorted. ‘Because your conduct hardly tallies with the title.’

‘Laurie, do be quiet!’ begged Lady Hester. ‘Let the child tell her tale in her own way.’

‘Her tale is imbecilic. She does not wish to marry some fellow or other, and has thus fled her natural protector to come here and demand that I bring her out, on the pretext of that letter. A more stupid—’

‘Hush! Let her speak.’

Maidie threw her a grateful look, and launched once more into an explanation of her difficulties and the ingenious solution she had worked out. Unlike her great-nephew, Lady Hester listened without comment, and even managed to keep Delagarde from bursting out until Maidie had finished. Only then did she speak.

‘I think I understand. There are one or two matters I should like to clarify, however. The exact relationship between us is readily discovered.’

‘Readily discovered?’ echoed the Viscount, incensed that his great-aunt should give the time of day to the chit’s nonsensical scheme. ‘If you hunted it down through half the family tree, I dare say. Besides, I am sure there must be a dozen other males closer related to her than I am myself.’

‘But none of them, my dear Laurie, is a viscount.’

Maidie found herself the sudden recipient of a suspicious look from his lordship, and a questioning one from Lady Hester. What were they at now?

‘Why should that weigh with me?’ she asked forthrightly. ‘I am an Earl’s daughter.’

‘And may look as high as you please for a husband? I wonder just how high you are looking to go.’

Regarding Lady Hester frowningly, Maidie shrugged. ‘His rank is immaterial. It is not that which will determine my choice. I only meant that my title is bound to make it easier for me to find someone willing to marry me.’

‘Undoubtedly,’ agreed Lady Hester affably. ‘Tell me, Lady Mary, why do you wish to be settled in life?’

A sigh escaped Maidie, as the picture of her self-imposed future formed itself in her mind. ‘To tell you the truth, I had as lief not be—married, I mean. But when Eustace began plaguing me with his attentions, and then Adela must needs try to hint me into accepting him, I began to see what awaited me if I chose to remain single.’

An odd look crossed Lady Hester’s face. ‘Well, I do not ask why you wished to remain single, for that I can readily understand. I am single myself. But what was it that you feared?’

Maidie shifted her shoulders in a gesture of discomfort. ‘To be the object of incessant suits for my hand. Once word of the legacy got out, I could see there would be no peace for me. So I thought the best solution would be to find myself a complaisant husband, who would not object to my continuing interest in other matters, and so end the nonsense at once.’

Lady Hester was regarding her keenly. ‘What legacy?’

‘Oh, I discovered when I came of age that my mother’s fortune had been settled upon me.’

‘Indeed?’

‘Yes, which is why Adela suddenly changed her behaviour towards me.’

‘I imagine she might,’ came the dry comment.

‘Of course I was glad to have such an independence,’ pursued Maidie, ‘for it made it possible for me to make my own choice of occupation, rather than become a companion.’

‘A companion! Good gracious, why should you wish to?’

‘I didn’t wish to. Only I previously thought that it would have been my one path to escape from working as an unpaid drudge to Adela. But I was forced to recognise that the very independence that offered me freedom also made me a target for gentlemen seeking to marry well.’

Lady Hester was now looking very thoughtful indeed. Was she beginning to understand the motives that drove Maidie? Delagarde, on the other hand, was still frowning heavily, she noted. He caught her eye, and got up.

‘Interesting though this history may be, Lady Mary, it makes no difference to—’

‘Laurie!’

‘What is it, Aunt Hes?’

‘Pray sit down again. It happens that I find this history extremely interesting.’ She turned to Maidie as Delagarde reluctantly reseated himself. ‘Let us re-examine this question of our relationship.’

‘But you have already admitted that the Burloynes are related to the Otterburns,’ Maidie protested.

‘Yes, but I am a little uncertain of your mother’s parentage. I did hear that one of the Burloyne cousins married Shurland, now I think of it, but I don’t recall which one. If memory serves me, there were three Burloyne brothers of my generation. Their father married into the Otterburn family, through one of the daughters of my own great-aunt.’

Delagarde blinked. ‘You are very well informed, Aunt Hes.’

‘One likes to keep abreast of these things.’ She sounded casual, but Maidie, when the elder lady turned back to her, was surprised to encounter an extremely penetrating glance. ‘Which of those three brothers was your grandfather Burloyne, child?’

‘The second one, Brice.’

‘Indeed?’ A long sigh escaped Lady Hester, and she sank back into her chair. ‘Well, well. Brice Burloyne’s granddaughter. And no male relatives.’

‘No, for all the Burloynes are dead now, and I have no uncles or male cousins.’

‘Except Shurland,’ put in Delagarde stubbornly.

‘But I have told you—’ Maidie began.

‘Enough!’ broke in Lady Hester. ‘Do not fall into a pointless dispute. Now, my dear Mary—if I may call you so?’

‘Oh, please don’t,’ begged Maidie instantly. ‘No one ever calls me Mary—except Adela, and that was only to annoy. My great-uncle Reginald, when he found himself saddled with the care of me, dubbed me Maidie, and so I have remained.’

‘Very well then, Maidie, if you wish it. Tell me about this Adela. She sounds a most unpleasant sort of woman.’

Maidie wrinkled her brow. ‘I would not describe her as unpleasant,’ she said, trying to be fair. ‘Her manner is no more objectionable than Lord Delagarde’s, for example.’

Delagarde’s infuriated glance raked her. ‘I am obliged to you, ma’am.’

Lady Hester laughed. ‘She is nothing if not direct, Laurie. I don’t suppose she means to insult you.’

‘Why should he care? Besides, he has said worse of me.’

‘And you don’t give a fig, I dare say?’ smiled Hester.

Maidie lifted her chin. ‘I am not come here to gain his good opinion.’

‘No, you are come here to gain my services,’ said Delagarde. ‘Not that I have the slightest expectation of your adopting a conciliatory manner! What I wish to know is, what was Shurland doing while this Adela was constraining you to marry her brother?’

‘Yes, why did you not appeal to him?’ asked Lady Hester.

‘I did,’ Maidie told them flatly. ‘His answer was that, between us, my great-uncle and myself had wasted his inheritance, and I would get no assistance from him.’

‘Wasted his inheritance?’ echoed Delagarde. ‘On what, pray?’

‘It does not signify,’ Maidie said hurriedly. ‘The truth is that it would suit him very well for my money to come into his family, even at one remove. Were I to marry another, he could not hope to get any share of it.’

‘He is scarce likely to gain directly from his brother-in-law’s marriage,’ objected Lady Hester.

‘No, but I am sure that he and Eustace have reached some sort of agreement on the matter, for there would otherwise be no reason for him to lend his support to Adela’s scheme.’

‘But what drove you to take this drastic action, child? Not that I blame you, but Adela could hardly force you into matrimony with her brother. And she did, I think you said, offer to bring you out.’

‘Yes, she did.’ Contempt entered Maidie’s voice. ‘It was only for appearances’ sake. She was afraid of what people might say of her, if it was seen that I married her brother without choosing him from among a number of others. And Eustace himself did not wish to figure as a fortune-hunter.’

‘Then why in the world did you not allow her to bring you out, and then choose another?’ demanded Lady Hester.

Maidie stared at her in frowning silence for a moment. Such a course had never even occurred to her. If it had, she would certainly have rejected it out of hand. She lifted a proud chin.

‘I may not be well versed in the etiquette obtaining in fashionable circles, but I assure you, ma’am, I am not without a sense of honour.’

She thought Lady Hester looked amused, but her tone was apologetic. ‘I had no intention of putting up your back, child. Are you suggesting that to have accepted a Season from Lady Shurland would have put you under an obligation?’

‘Yet you are trying to put me under a false obligation,’ cut in Delagarde swiftly.

‘It is not false!’ Maidie retorted indignantly. ‘If I had not your mother’s letter, I would not have involved you at all. In any event, this has nothing to do with being put under an obligation to Adela.’

‘Then what?’ asked Delagarde, finding himself intrigued by the workings of the wench’s mind.

‘I am not a cheat!’ Maidie exclaimed. ‘I would not pretend to one thing and mean another. Such conduct may suit Adela. It would not suit me. If I was prepared to marry Eustace, what need was there for a Season? But I am not willing to marry him. It would scarcely be honourable in me to dupe Adela into thinking I might do so, and allow her to bring me out only in order that I could find someone else. No, no. I must arrange it for myself, or I had better not wed at all.’

‘But you are not arranging it for yourself,’ Delagarde pointed out. ‘You are expecting me to arrange it.’

‘And so you shall,’ broke in Lady Hester Otterburn cheerfully.

‘What?’

‘My dear Laurie, you will hardly be outdone in the matter of honour, I should hope! It is not the part of a chivalrous man to leave poor Maidie to her fate. Besides, I know it must be an object with you to accede to your mother’s wishes. I cannot think you will do otherwise than make it your business to set Lady Mary’s feet upon the social ladder.’

Chapter Two

T emporarily silenced by the shock of his great-aunt’s perfidy, Delagarde watched in a daze as Lady Hester Otterburn ushered the visitor out. With disbelieving ears, he heard her encouraging the wretched female to return, bringing with her the duenna and all their trunks from the Maddox Street inn where she had left them. No sooner had the front door shut behind Maidie, than his lordship came to himself with a start.

‘Have you taken leave of your senses, Aunt Hes?’ he demanded furiously, as that lady walked back into the parlour.

‘I don’t think so,’ replied his great-aunt mildly.

‘Well, I do! What the devil possessed you to invite her back here? If you imagine that I am to be coerced into acceding to the wench’s idiotic request, you may think again.’

‘Then you will be a great fool!’ she told him roundly.

He stared at her. ‘I beg your pardon?’

‘My dear Laurie, if you cannot see what is right under your nose, I declare I wash my hands of you!’

‘I wish you would,’ he retorted, incensed. ‘Do, pray, stop talking in riddles, Aunt.’

To his surprise, she eyed him with a good deal of speculation for a moment. Then she smiled. ‘Gracious, I believe you really don’t know!’

‘Don’t know what?’

Lady Hester laughed at him. ‘How to bring a girl out, of course. No matter. You will learn fast, I dare say.’

‘But I have no desire to learn it,’ Delagarde stated, in some dudgeon. ‘What is more, I am not going to do so.’

‘Oh, yes, you are. I have quite decided that.’

‘You have decided it? Thank you very much indeed. Give me one good reason why I should allow myself to have this hideous charge foisted on to me.’

‘I might give you several,’ said his great-aunt coolly, ‘but one will suffice. You are far too hedonistic and idle.’

Delagarde fairly gasped. ‘I am what?’

‘I have long thought that the life you lead is ruinous. You have no responsibility, and nothing to do beyond consulting your own pleasure. It will do you good to exert yourself and think of someone else for a change.’

‘Oh, will it?’ retorted her great-nephew, stung. ‘Then allow me to point out to you that if—if!—I agree to this preposterous idea—’

‘Don’t be silly, Laurie! Everything is settled.’

‘—it is not I who will be exerting myself. It may have escaped your notice, Aunt, but it is usual for debutantes to have a female to bring them out.’

‘Quite right,’ said Lady Hester comfortably. ‘I shall do that.’

‘Not in this house!’ objected Delagarde. ‘Besides, you cannot do so. For one thing, you have no longer any position in society—’

‘That can readily be remedied.’

‘—and for another, your health is unequal to the strain of a London Season.’

‘Nonsense, I have never been better!’

‘What is more,’ pursued Delagarde, ignoring these interpolations, ‘I have not invited you to remain here above the few days you intended.’

Lady Hester suddenly clapped her hands together. ‘That reminds me! I have not brought near enough with me for a whole Season. My abigail will have to go down to Berkshire at once. Oh, and you will have to open up all the saloons. We cannot receive morning callers in the drawing-room, and if we are to give a ball—’

‘A ball! Let me tell you—’

‘Or, no. It is too late to secure a suitable date. A small party, perhaps, and meanwhile we will introduce Maidie quite quietly—’

‘You cannot introduce her in any way at all!’ Delagarde interposed, in considerable disorder. ‘Good God, I will not be sponsor to a lady looking as Maidie does! I should lose all credit with the world.’

‘You are very right,’ agreed Lady Hester, laying an approving hand on his arm. ‘Her appearance will not do at all. I had not thought of it in all this excitement. She must be properly dressed. I shall see to that at once. Maidie cannot object to acquiring new gowns. You need have no fear, Laurie. I will make sure she does not disgrace you.’

‘If her conduct today is any indication of her company manners,’ Delagarde said bitterly, ‘there is little hope of preventing that.’

But Lady Hester was not attending. ‘We will not make too obvious a stir, I think, for that may defeat the purpose. A soirée at the start of next month will serve admirably. At first, though—’

‘Aunt Hester!’

‘—we shall make it our business to call upon all the leading hostesses. As Maidie’s sponsor, you will of course accompany us.’

‘If you think I am going to dance attendance on that cursed wench morning after morning—’

‘Laurie, what am I thinking of?’ interrupted his great-aunt, unheeding. ‘The servants! We shall never manage with this skeleton staff. You must send to Berkshire immediately. Or, stay. Lowick may go down himself and make all the necessary arrangements.’

‘Aunt Hes—’

‘Gracious, there is so much to be done! I must see Lowick immediately. He and I will put our heads together, and—’

‘Aunt Hes, will you, for God’s sake, attend to me?’

She stopped in mid-stride, and looked at him with an air of surprise. ‘Yes, Laurie?’

‘Aunt Hes, stop!’ he uttered desperately. ‘I will not— I have no intention— Oh, good God, I think I am going mad! Aunt Hes, if you bring that wretched girl to live here, I promise you I shall remove!’

‘Nonsense. Move out of your own house? Besides, we need you.’

‘We!’ he said witheringly. ‘Why are you doing this to me?’

‘Why?’ A trill of laughter escaped Lady Hester, as she made for the door. ‘My dear Laurie, I have your interests wholly at heart, believe me. Do not be taken in by Lady Mary talking lightly of an “independence”. Brice Burloyne was a nabob.’

‘What has that to do—’

But Lady Hester was gone.

Delagarde stood staring at the open door, mid-sentence and open-mouthed, hardly taking in the significance of her last utterance.

‘I do not believe this is happening,’ he muttered.

Was his life to be turned upside down in a matter of hours? He cursed the ill-timing that had brought his great-aunt on a visit just at this moment. She was invariably content to remain in residence on his estates at Delagarde Manor, where she had lived, courtesy of his mother’s generosity, since before Laurence had been born. Her criticism rankled. Idle and hedonistic, indeed! Was he any more so than any other of his class? And what the devil had she meant by saying that he had no responsibilities? Was he not landlord to a vast estate? To be sure, he employed an agent to administer the lands, and his steward could be relied upon to keep all smooth in his absence.

Was that the burden of her complaint? That he was absent from Berkshire for a good part of the time? Good God, one could not be expected to kick one’s heels in the country all year round! Who did not spend the Season in town?

Another thought struck him, and his eye kindled. If this was a dig at his continued bachelorhood—! To be sure, he had to marry some day. The line must be carried on. But there were Delagarde cousins enough for the succession to be in no immediate danger, even were he not in the best of health. Nor was he reckless in his sporting pursuits, which might put him in danger of accident. In fact, he took sufficient account of his responsibilities not to merit that criticism in the very least!