A Most Desirable M.D.

That was just how strongly he affected her. Always had. And, she thought ruefully, always would. For the first year she’d told herself it was just a crush. Young, inexperienced-in-more-ways-than-one nurse; handsome, wealthy doctor. Normal. Natural. By the end of the second year, when she realized she still loved him no matter how tired he looked or how cranky he got with incompetent staff members, she started to worry about herself. By the end of the third year, when she realized he could be penniless and jobless and she’d still care, she’d accepted it.

Kane Fortune was the only man she ever wanted to own her heart. And the chances of that were about as likely as her chances of…of winning an Oscar.

Not going to happen. Not now, not ever. Men like Kane didn’t go for mousy blondes who weren’t comfortable in deep-cut blouses and makeup. They went for glamor. Just as her father had. And there was no way anyone could ever accuse plain little Allison Jane Preston of being glamorous. Plain Allison Jane.

“It would take half the night,” he said. “More time than you have, I’m sure.”

For a moment she thought he’d been reading her mind and was making a dig at the thought of her getting gussied up. Then she realized he meant time to talk. Tired as she was, all thoughts of bed and sleep went straight out the window. It sounded as though Kane needed a friend, and she didn’t intend to let him down.

“I’m off for the next twelve hours, and I’m a good listener,” she said. Not pushing, but letting him know she was there if he needed her.

He was smiling faintly at her, one hand coming up to scrub at the dark shadow of stubble along his jaw. “Yes, you are.” Then he appeared to come to a decision. “Want to go get a bite to eat?”

“Sure.” She tried to keep the giddy elation from her voice. They’d gotten coffee and chatted dozens of times over the past few years. Kane had seemed to single her out as someone with whom he felt comfortable, and loving him as she did, Allison was always grateful when she could give him a listening ear, ease the burdens that came with healing newborn bodies and occasionally losing the battle for life. But dinner after work, not on a hasty break in the hospital when one or the other of them was wolfing down a quick bite…this was different.

“Let’s go down to the diner,” he said.

“All right.” The diner was an all-night restaurant near County that was frequented by hospital personnel and the occasional repeat visitor who had gotten wise to hospital cafeteria food.

She stood and started to shoulder the large bag in which she carried extra clothes, but Kane reached for it, taking it from her and slinging it over his shoulder with his own duffel. “Thank you,” she said, mildly startled. How many men were that courteous anymore?

“My pleasure.” He smiled down at her as he opened the door for her, and her legs turned to jelly. “My mama raised a gentleman.”

“Your mama did a fine job.”

“She did,” he said reflectively as they waited for the elevator. “She was a single mother, but she worked darn hard to make sure my sister and I grew up with good manners and good sense.”

“Your father…wasn’t in the picture?” It was a personal question, the first time they’d ever crossed the line into such territory, and she wondered if he was as aware of that as she.

“No. Never.” There was such venom in his tone that it unnerved her. “He abandoned us when my mother was pregnant with my sister. I was about a year old.”

“That’s sad,” she said softly. “He missed so much. It’s a good thing your mother had money, or things could have been really tough for you all.”

A smile touched his lean face as she glanced up at him, but it wasn’t amused. “We didn’t have money then,” he said. “I didn’t even find out she was a Fortune until about six years ago.”

Now she was confused. “But your name—”

“I took the name Fortune by choice, and at my uncle’s request, not long after I found out. I had no desire to share the name of a man who could walk away from his family the way he did.”

She wondered if he realized how much unhappiness was revealed in that simple statement. “My father left my mother, too,” she said softly, wanting him to know she could identify in some way with his pain. “But I remember him. I was twelve when he left.”

“At least you knew your father.”

“Yes.” Though she wasn’t sure that knowing him had made any difference, since she apparently hadn’t known him at all. A too-familiar pain and regret stung her. He was dead now and she’d never have the chance to talk with him again, and the estrangement that had lain between them for years could never be bridged. She’d missed the opportunity, or more accurately, she’d refused the opportunity. And now, to her lasting regret, it was too late.

Still, she didn’t tell any of that to Kane. In the mood he was in, she doubted there was anything she could say that might ease his hurt. For a while they walked along the sidewalk in silence.

When they got to the diner, Kane paused, and Allison stopped with him. He was looking through the plate-glass window. “There’s a crowd tonight,” he said, frowning.

“Birthday party,” she said. “One of the techs from radiology turned forty.”

A slim, dark-haired nurse from the oncology unit caught sight of them from the edge of the dance floor where there were a number of people gyrating to the music. She waved, her gaze on Kane, a slow smile lighting her big dark eyes as her hips swiveled in time to the beat. She beckoned for them to enter, but Allison was aware of Kane shaking his head.

She looked in at the rowdy, raucous crowd, whose jovial spirit could clearly be heard on the street. The girl was vivacious, confident in her own sex appeal—exactly the kind of woman she’d expect Kane to be attracted to—and her heart contracted. But when she glanced up at him, Kane seemed reluctant to enter despite the blatant invitation the girl was giving him.

She was fiercely glad that he didn’t seem in the mood for a party. She didn’t want to share him with anyone. “If you’re not thrilled about the crowd,” she said slowly, wondering if she was crazy even to be making the offer, “we can go to my house. It’s not far. We could stop and get some Chinese takeout.”

Kane’s eyes were still on the crowd inside.

“But maybe that’s not something that interests you,” she said hastily, feeling the heat of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. Of course Kane Fortune wasn’t interested in spending a quiet evening alone with plain Allison Jane.

Then Kane turned to her, and there was warm approval in his eyes. “It sounds great,” he said, and there was genuine pleasure in his tone. “And I appreciate the offer very much. How about I follow you in my car?”

She still couldn’t believe he was here. Kane Fortune. Sitting on her sofa beside her, empty cartons from the Chinese food on the small glass table in her dining area mute proof that he really had been here and eaten a meal with her. Right now he was toying with the end of a lock of her hair, which he’d teased her into taking down the minute they’d gotten into her house. “I like it down,” he’d said. And that had been enough for her.

He picked up the wine bottle they were sharing, indicating her glass, but she put a cautious hand over the rim of her glass. “Better not. I don’t do alcohol real well.”

He grinned, a pirate’s rakish smile. “Oh, good. Here, have some more.”

She laughed, tucking one foot beneath her and angling her body to face him more fully. “I think not.” It was an incredible, heady feeling, teasing and flirting with him. But it was time to help him now. She hadn’t forgotten the initial reason for this whole visit. It wasn’t as if it were a date, after all. “At the risk of wrecking the mood, I’d really like to hear what’s bothering you, if you’d still like to talk it out.”

He sobered immediately, the gold glints in his eyes dimming and his smile fading. “I don’t think I’d better get started. It’s a long and ugly story, as I said.”

“I’m a good listener, remember? And a good friend. And that’s what friends are for, to share burdens.” She put her hand on his arm, right on his bare skin, and rubbed her thumb lightly over the hair-roughened, sinewy flesh.

Kane put his hand over hers, squeezing lightly. “You’re a treasure, Allison. I value our friendship.”

The words were a balm to her hungry heart, the sweetest sounds she’d ever heard and the last ones she’d ever have expected. She hadn’t expected anything. She could never hope to have Kane’s love, but she was grateful at least to hold his friendship.

He sighed, removing his hand from atop hers and dropping his head back against the cushions of her sofa, slouching so his long body stretched bonelessly and his hip grazed the knee she’d drawn up beneath her. “You asked me about the Simonds’ baby this morning. And you were right. I was upset. Angry, too. I’ve spent years in school learning how to save pre-term infants, and it really gets to me when I fail.” He tried to smile, but the effort died before it really got going. “I guess I want to be God.”

She didn’t comment, but she kept her hand on his arm, lightly stroking as she sensed the tension within him.

“Anyway,” he went on, “I decided to sleep at my mother’s for the few hours before rounds, since her home is much closer to the hospital than mine. But I was awakened by a phone call.” His voice grew taut and angry and he stopped abruptly.

“Someone who made you mad,” she ventured.

“Someone who made me furious,” he corrected. “Only he didn’t know I was on the phone. He was talking to my mother.” His lips thinned and his nostrils flared in disgust. “It was my father. All of a sudden this creep who’s been gone for three decades just can’t wait to see us again.”

“But…why?”

“My sister.” He rolled his head toward Allison and their eyes met. His softened fondly and his tone was wry. “Gabrielle’s always been a soft touch. She has a little girl of her own now and she recently thought it only decent to let dear old Dad know. I have no idea how she found him but she invited him to come down here and visit.” His tone grew hard again. “I’d strangle her barehanded if I thought she had any idea what she started. But I know she was just following her heart.”

“So, your father’s coming to San Antonio?” She could see why he would be upset, but the fury that seemed to be so tightly coiled beneath the surface was almost too much. It wasn’t like Kane to overreact. And she should know, since she’d worked with him in situations where grieving people did all kinds of bizarre things, occasionally aimed at the hapless physician whose skill hadn’t been enough to save their loved one.

“Yeah, but that’s not the worst of it.” Kane sprang to his feet so quickly she jumped back, startled, and he began to pace the length of her small living area like a great tiger confined within a small cage. “He threatened my mother. Blackmailed her, actually.”

“Blackmailed?” It was so weird she just blurted it out. “What kind of secret could your mother have that would invite blackmail?”

He wheeled and looked across the room at her, and his eyes were wild. “My mother,” he said slowly, enunciating each syllable, “ran away from home when she was seventeen. She told us she just couldn’t get along with her father, but it turns out she was pregnant. She was headed for California but she got hung up in Nevada where she had her babies—twins, a boy and a girl—and gave them up for adoption. Actually,” he said, “she left them on the steps of the sheriff’s office with notes pinned to their blankets.”

“Your poor mother.” Allison’s heart was soft; she could imagine the young, pregnant woman’s desperation.

“Yeah. She was young, not even twenty, and I suppose she was about at rock bottom financially and too proud to go home—”

“And her self-esteem was probably rock bottom as well,” she interjected softly.

“Probably,” he agreed. “Soon afterward, she met my father. Lloyd Carter was a rodeo cowboy. They got married and I was born nine months later. By the time I was a year old, she was pregnant again. Very shortly after he found out, my prize of a father took off for greener pastures.”

The thought of a young woman, barely twenty years old and pregnant for the third time, probably grieving over her lost children and her poor choices, brought tears to Allison’s eyes. Instinctively, she reached out a hand to Kane, and he took it briefly, dropping back onto the couch beside her with his head in his hands.

“Carter’s threatened to tell the biological father about the twins,” he said. “If my mother doesn’t pay him fifty thousand.”

She sucked in a sharp, horrified breath. “Where in the world—” Then she remembered to whom she was speaking. “She has the money?”

Kane nodded. “But neither of us thinks that’ll be the end of the matter.” His voice shook with contained rage and he slammed one fist into the other. “I hate not being able to fix this! All my life I’ve tried to help, to make things easier for my mother.” His tone lowered and filled with such hopelessness that it tore at Allison’s heart. “And this time there’s not a thing I can do.”

“Oh, Kane, just being there for your mother is doing something.” Allison looped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her forehead against him, hugging him tightly. If only there was something she could do to relieve the anguish he was living!

“I can’t explain to you how strange it feels to know I have a brother and a sister out there somewhere whom I’ve never met. We’ll never share childhood memories,” he said slowly. “For my mother, it’s like it all happened yesterday. I had to sedate her. God, it was hellish.”

Allison urged him to her, cradling him and rocking instinctively as he reached for her, burying his head in her neck and clutching her so tightly she could barely breathe. For the longest time, she simply held him, loving the whisper of his warm breath over her neck and the hard clasp of his arms around her. If this was the closest she would ever get to Heaven, she was going to memorize every second of it to relive later when the real world and loneliness returned.

Kane moved then, and she started to withdraw her arms from around him, aware that this was probably more comfort than he’d needed or wanted. But before she could move away, he turned to her, lifting one large hand to cradle her cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For listening.”

“You’re welcome.” But her voice died away to nothing. He was looking at her lips. She held herself perfectly, utterly still as he smoothed his thumb along her bottom lip, and then, as his head came down, she realized that Kane was going to kiss her.

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