A Daughter’s Choice

‘Your family sounds nice. I – I don’t have a mother, just Gran and my father. Gran is lovely, but my father has a temper. He hit me after an argument so I left before he could do it again.’

‘Good for you!’ Ally hugged my arm and gave me a look of approval. ‘I hate that sort of brutality. I’m glad you left home, Kathy. I think we shall be good friends.’

‘I think so too.’

Ally smiled. ‘You spoke about your friend just now. Is he a soldier?’

‘Yes. His name is Billy Ryan. He’s asked me to marry him, but I haven’t said I will yet. I want to learn to be a nurse first – and there’s no sense in planning anything until the war is over.’

‘That’s just how I feel,’ she agreed. ‘I’ve got a special friend too. His name is Mike Saunders. He’s just been promoted to sergeant. In his last letter he said he wants to get married when this is all over, but we’ve agreed not to rush things.’

‘Are you in love with him?’ I asked her shyly. Ally nodded, a little smile of satisfaction on her mouth. I continued, feeling I could open up to her now, ‘I’m not sure how I feel about Billy. I like him – and he makes me feel odd, sort of excited, when he kisses me – but I don’t know if I love him enough to marry him.’

‘Wait until you are sure,’ Ally advised. ‘There’s nothing worse than being married to the wrong man. You remember me mentioning my cousin Joan?’ I nodded. ‘Well, she is divorced …’

‘Never!’ I stared at her in amazement.

Ally nodded solemnly. ‘It caused terrible trouble in the family. But Joan said he was making her life a misery and she left him. He divorced her. He’s something in the city and rich. She got absolutely nothing because he claimed she was unfaithful to him. Joan didn’t care as long as she got away from him. She applied to be a nurse and then the war happened.’

Ally’s sophisticated talk of divorce was an eye-opener for me. It just wouldn’t have been thought of where I lived, but I was beginning to realize that the world was very different away from the lanes. A rush of excitement made me glad I had taken my courage in both hands and walked out when I did – and that I had found a new friend.

‘She sounds wonderful – your cousin.’

‘Joan has a lot of courage,’ Ally replied seriously. ‘My father says she’s one of the new modern women who will emerge when this war is over. He thinks it can’t be long before women are allowed to at least vote for who they want in Parliament. Joan is ahead of her time. If she hadn’t wanted to be a nurse she would probably have tried to stand for Parliament herself.’

I stared at her in amazement. ‘Can women do that?’

Ally shook her head. ‘Not yet but one day they will – and if she lives to see it my cousin will be one of the first to join the men on the hustings.’ She laughed at my look of disbelief. ‘I can see I am going to have to educate you about your rights, Kathy – but for the moment I want my tea!’

The hospital was the most amazing place I had ever seen. Both Ally and I were speechless as the bus finally pulled up in the courtyard of Beckwith House.

‘Good heavens,’ Ally said in an awed whisper. ‘We’ve done all right for ourselves here, Kathy. This must have been someone’s private house before the war. And what a house! Mind you, I wouldn’t want to live here, stuck out in the wilds like this. When they said it was outside London I didn’t expect it to be this far.’

‘I expect that is because they like to keep the location as secret as possible; no doubt that’s why they brought us here instead of giving us the money to find our own way. It’s huge, isn’t it – and that’s without all those temporary buildings they’ve put up in the grounds.’

‘You mean those tin shacks we passed?’ Ally grimaced. ‘I’ll bet you that’s where they put us.’

‘Well, I don’t suppose we’ll be staying in the main house; that’s sure to be needed for the men.’

‘They come first, of course.’

‘Pay attention please!’

An officious-looking man in uniform was trying to line us all up. We stopped talking and waited for directions.

‘Nursing recruits are to report to the Dower House. Orderlies and outside staff come with me.’

‘They get the tin huts,’ Ally said and grinned. ‘Where do you suppose the Dower House is? Hey – where are we supposed to go? Some of us are new around here, you know. We’re not all mind readers!’ She got a glare from the sergeant in charge of new arrivals, but there was a murmur of agreement from some of the other girls.

‘Follow that path.’ He pointed to the right. ‘The one between the shrubbery there. Someone will look after you when you get there. Right! Sort yourselves out, I haven’t got all day. Everyone other than nursing recruits come with me.’

‘Poor devils,’ I whispered to Ally as several women and a couple of elderly men trooped after him. ‘He’s a real bully. I’m glad I’m not in his charge.’ I picked up my case. ‘We’d better try to find the Dower House.’

‘Not very welcoming are they?’

Ally and I both turned as we heard the bored but extremely cultured voice behind us. The girl who had spoken had black hair and grey eyes and she was beautiful. Not just pretty or attractive but ‘knock ’em dead’ gorgeous, and the dress she was wearing looked as if it had come straight from the pages of an expensive fashion magazine.

‘It’s all such a bore, isn’t it?’ she said smiling wryly now that she had secured our attention. She offered her hand to me and I took it thinking she seemed nice enough in her way. ‘I’m Eleanor Ross, by the way.’

‘I’m Kathy and this is Ally – Alice Bowyer.’

‘I’m not in the least bored,’ Ally retorted with a sparkle in her eyes. I could sense her hostility towards the other girl immediately. ‘Why did you join if you didn’t want to come?’

‘Daddy insisted,’ she replied and pulled a face. ‘It’s good for his public image to have a daughter doing her bit. I’m lucky. He chased my poor brother into the Navy as soon as this stupid war started. Paul hates every moment of it. He’s a talented musician and that’s all he wants to do, but he wasn’t given a choice.’

‘What does Daddy do?’ Ally asked in an acid tone.

‘He’s a parliamentary secretary,’ Eleanor replied. ‘Very patriotic and filthy rich. One daren’t refuse to do as he asks or one might be cut off without a penny.’

‘And that would be dreadful for one, wouldn’t it?’ Ally glared at her with dislike. ‘Come on, Kathy. We don’t want to bother with her sort. She doesn’t belong with the rest of us.’

Ally took my arm and marched me away down the path some of the other girls had already taken. I glanced back at Eleanor Ross feeling a bit sorry for her. She looked unhappy and was vainly struggling with three heavy suitcases. I was considering whether to risk Ally’s disapproval and help her when a young man in a white coat approached Eleanor. He was good-looking, tall, had dark hair and clean-cut features that immediately triggered something in my memory.

‘Let me give you a hand?’ he offered. ‘You’ll never get all this stuff to the Dower House alone. You’ve brought rather a lot, haven’t you?’

‘I wasn’t sure what I would need.’ She gave him a flashing smile. ‘This is very kind of you, Mr …?’

‘Dr,’ he corrected. ‘I’m not a consultant so you call me doctor – Tom O’Rourke off duty.’

Ally had looked back to see what had caught my interest. She scowled as she saw the very attractive man speaking to Eleanor.

‘Trust her to get her claws into a terrific-looking bloke five minutes after we get here! That sort always know how to get their own way.’

‘I think I know him,’ I said as we started walking again. I could hear Eleanor talking to Dr Tom O’Rourke as they followed behind, though I couldn’t quite catch what they were saying because they were trailing some way back down the path. ‘I’m not sure, because I haven’t seen him for ages, but I think he used to live near me at home. I know his sister well. She’s always been really nice to me, because she delivered me when I was born.’

Ally gave me a curious glance. ‘You’ll have to introduce me when you get a chance. We can’t let Miss Stuck Up Madam get all the best men, can we?’

‘What about your boyfriend? I thought you were thinking about marrying him?’

‘That’s when the war is over,’ she said and grinned naughtily. ‘I intend to have some fun in the meantime. Mike doesn’t expect me to sit at home and twiddle my thumbs every night – and if he does he’s mistaken.’

I smiled and let the subject drop. I was in no position to introduce her to Tom O’Rourke. He probably wouldn’t remember me. I was still a snotty-nosed kid at school when he’d gone off to college. I remembered people talking about it, saying he was lucky to be alive because of the illness he’d had in childhood. The family was well liked and they had all wished him luck. He’d obviously done all right for himself, and it was an odd sort of coincidence me coming to train at this particular hospital.

I forgot about Dr O’Rourke as we arrived at the Dower House to find it a scene of friendly chaos and confusion. When some of the fuss had died down, we discovered that there were only three rooms to accommodate ten newcomers. It meant that we would be three to a bedroom and one of us was going to have to share with the senior nurses, which was something no one seemed to want to do, hence the argument.

The first girls to arrive had sorted themselves out apart from one girl who was looking for two others to share. She looked at us uncertainly as we signed the register.

‘Will you share with me?’ she asked. ‘There is one other girl to come but she hasn’t turned up yet.’

‘Oh, she’s busy chatting to one of the doctors,’ Ally said. ‘Yes, we’ll share – won’t we, Kathy? What’s your name?’

‘Sally – Sally Baker,’ she said and looked relieved. ‘I don’t want to go in with the seniors. They are bound to be superior and look down on us, especially those who were nursing before the war. Apparently, they think we’re all useless.’

‘I suppose we are for a start,’ I said. ‘We’ve got to learn, Sally – but I agree it is better to be with other recruits. We can all cry on each other’s shoulder when Matron ticks us off.’

‘Yes, that’s what I thought.’ She smiled shyly. ‘I’m so nervous – are you? I’m sure I shall make lots of mistakes, and I do want to do well. I’ve got two brothers in the Army, and a … friend.’

‘We’ve all got someone out there,’ Ally said. ‘But even if we hadn’t, we would want to help. I hope they are going to let us do something useful and not just scrub floors.’

‘There will be plenty of that,’ Sally said. ‘I’ve got the key. Shall we go up now and see what the room is like?’

Ally followed her to the foot of the stairs. I glanced back and saw that Eleanor Ross had just arrived and was being told the situation. She caught up with me as I began to climb the stairs.

‘You couldn’t give me a hand with one of these cases, Kathy?’

‘Yes, of course.’ I took the case she offered; it was very heavy and I grimaced. ‘What on earth have you got in here?’

‘Clothes and books,’ she said and looked apologetic. ‘I thought it might be as well to have something to read in the evenings. It’s bound to be deadly dull. Dr O’Rourke says there’s a Military base a few miles down the road and they give a dance every month and invite us over, but apart from that there’s nothing much. Just a trip to the pub or dinner if you’re lucky, and the occasional film show over at the base again. But that’s bound to be something we’ve seen in London months ago, of course.’

‘I expect we’ll be too busy and too tired to think about anything else for a while anyway,’ I said and laughed as I saw her expression. ‘Oh, poor Eleanor. This is awful for you, isn’t it? It really wasn’t fair of your father to make you do this.’

I was surprised to see a faint flush in her cheeks.

‘Take no notice of my moaning, Kathy. I don’t mean half of what I say. I expect I shall enjoy it all once I get started – and it’s probably time I did something for someone else. Daddy says I’m spoiled and I expect he’s perfectly right.’

At the top of the stairs we paused and she thanked me for my help before we parted. ‘I can manage these now, thanks. I hope we’ll be friends?’ she said hesitantly. ‘I know your friend Ally doesn’t approve of me.’

‘Ally’s all right. She’ll change her mind when she gets to know you.’

We parted and I hurried after the others. The room was furnished with three beds, each with a small cupboard for our possessions, and a rather spotty mirror on the wall.

Ally had already bagged the bed at the far end. Sally asked me which of the other two I wanted and I told her to take her pick. She chose the middle, which left me near the door.

‘What made you lag behind with that stuck-up Ross woman?’ Ally asked with a frown. I sensed that she would rather have had me sleeping next to her and was annoyed that I had let Sally choose. ‘You should’ve let her carry her own cases.’

‘I didn’t mind. She isn’t so bad really. It’s just that she feels awkward and strange in a new place.’

‘Don’t we all?’ Sally chirped in. ‘I felt like a fish out of water until you two turned up. I’ve never been anywhere like this before. Whoever owns it must be rich, a bit different to where I live, I can tell you.’ Ally immediately started to ask her questions about her life and family, and the subject was turned. We had time only to finish unpacking our things before a girl in the heavy, ugly uniform of the VADs came to fetch us.

‘My name is Nurse Millie Smith and I’ve been sent to show you around,’ she said with a cheerful smile. ‘You will all be issued with uniforms and Matron will give you a welcoming speech at three – so you had better look sharp.’

Millie’s arrival effectively cut short all small talk. We hurried after her as she rounded up all the new recruits and led us first to a large room where we collected our kit. Then, once we had sorted ourselves out, and amidst a great deal of moaning and laughter, dressed in the unflattering clothes we’d been given, she took us on a whirlwind tour of the main building.

As we’d first thought, it had once been a beautiful private home but was now forlorn, stripped down to bare walls and very basic. The wards had been painted in dark cream and green gloss paint, though the bedrooms allocated to certain patients seemed to have more home comforts.

‘The men in the private rooms are probably going to be here for ages,’ Millie explained as she gave us a peep into one that was presently empty. ‘This belonged to a Major Robinson – he died yesterday. We’re expecting a new patient this evening.’

‘Do many of the patients die?’

Millie looked at me in silence for a moment, considering my question. ‘We get some deaths. You have to remember, these men are seriously ill or they wouldn’t be here – but most have been given life-saving treatment before they are brought to us. Our patients are here to rest and recover from the terrible ordeal they’ve suffered. Some will leave eventually – others will survive but never be well enough to go home.’

‘That’s sad,’ one of the other girls said. ‘Will they always have to stay here?’

‘Here – or another nursing home. A private one, probably, if their family can afford it. Some of the patients are officers, but we get men from the ranks as well.’

‘So I should hope,’ Ally muttered beside me. ‘Where do we work?’

‘Matron will explain,’ Millie replied. ‘I’m just here to show you where everything is so that you don’t get lost.’

We were shown the way to the operating theatre, though not allowed inside it. Millie warned us that there were strict restrictions about entering the sterile areas.

‘New recruits spend most of their time fetching and carrying on the wards, attending lectures – and of course your favourite place, the sluice room. You’ll get to know that very well, I promise you.’

Groans and laughter greeted this announcement but nobody really minded. We were here to help wherever we could. Already we were banding together, feeling a shared interest in doing our very best for the unfortunate men who had been brought to this place.

We visited the common room, where some of the patients had congregated, and had our first glimpses of the appalling injuries these men had suffered. Some had lost limbs, others had burns to their faces and hands, but these were the luckier ones who had begun to recover and we were warned that we would see much worse in the private rooms.

‘Who have you brought us now, Millie love? More lambs to the slaughter?’

A soldier in striped pyjamas with his army coat over the top came up to us on crutches. He had lost a leg from the knee down but was grinning cheerfully, apparently unconcerned by his loss. He looked all the new recruits over, his eyes coming eventually to rest on me.

‘Lovely despite that awful dress,’ he said. ‘Eyes a man could drown in. I’m Sergeant Steve Harley – what do they call you other than beautiful?’

‘Kathy,’ I replied. ‘But they don’t call me beautiful.’

‘Blind or mad,’ he quipped with a grin. ‘Want to be my partner for the bath chair race this weekend?’

‘Yes – what is it?’

Sergeant Harley chuckled. ‘Lucky girl! You get to push me right round the house faster than any of the others in the line-up – and let me tell you, I shall expect to win.’

‘I’ll do my best.’ I glanced at Millie. ‘If it’s allowed?’

‘Provided you’re not on duty,’ she said. ‘Matron frowns on such activities, of course, but the doctors are usually there to cheer us on. I shall be taking part myself.’

‘You’re on then,’ I told Sergeant Harley. ‘Provided I’m not on duty when it happens.’

‘You can get someone to switch,’ he told me. ‘Ask Millie, she knows how to get round the rules.’

‘I’ll let you know,’ I said and followed the group as they moved on.

After our visit to the common room we all had a late lunch in the canteen, which was used by both the doctors and nurses. The food wasn’t exactly like home cooking but it was just about edible and the tea was hot and strong, just like Gran made it.

‘Awful!’ Ally complained as she picked at her shepherd’s pie but Eleanor Ross cleared her plate and said it was no worse than their cook served up at home. I wasn’t sure whether she was just putting on a brave face or not.

Lunch over, we had half an hour to ourselves before being taken to Matron’s welcome talk. She was a large woman with iron-grey hair and a stern manner, and her speech was more of a lecture than a welcome. We were told that we were expected to work hard and behave ourselves, then warned not to be late on duty.

‘You will find a duty roster at the Dower House,’ she told us. ‘It is up to you to check where to report and at what time. Recruits who arrive late for duty will be reprimanded. We expect certain standards from all our nursing staff. Please make sure you keep to them.’

‘Phew – she’s a right old battleaxe,’ Ally said as we were at last released to settle in, having been told we were now free for the rest of the day. ‘I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of her!’

‘No, nor me.’

Matron was strict, but I supposed she had to be. She had a lot of young women under her charge, and that couldn’t be easy at the best of times. I just hoped I wouldn’t do anything to displease her.

I was pleased to see that I was working on Saturday morning and then free until six in the evening on Sunday.

‘Oh good, that means I can push Sergeant Harley in the race. It starts at four on Sunday afternoon so that gives me plenty of time to get ready.’

‘More fool you,’ Ally retorted. ‘It’s going to be hard work. Rather you than me.’

She pulled a face but I got the idea that she was a bit miffed because I’d been picked to take part and she hadn’t.

The next few days were the most hectic of my life. We worked seven-hour shifts on the wards fetching and carrying for the nurses and patients, but we also had to take turns scrubbing endless floors. On Friday I came off duty at five feeling tired after three hours in the sluice room. I was looking forward to putting my feet up before supper but as I was about to leave the main building someone called to me.

‘Miss Cole, could I have a word please?’

I stopped and turned, staring in surprise as a doctor came sprinting up to me. For a moment I was afraid I’d done something wrong and then I saw he was smiling – and that I knew him. It was a long time since I’d seen him in the lanes and I hadn’t been sure when I heard him talking to Eleanor Ross, but now I was certain.

‘Yes, Dr O’Rourke? Is there something you wanted?’

‘You are Kathy Cole … little Kathy from the lanes,’ he said. ‘What a nice surprise to find you here. When Sergeant Harley told me about the girl who had offered to help him, I wondered if it could possibly be the same person. Bridget wrote in her last letter that she’d heard you had joined the Service. How are you getting on?’

‘Oh, managing,’ I said and smiled ruefully. I wasn’t sure that I liked being remembered as little Kathy from the lanes. ‘I knew it was going to be hard work but we never seem to stop.’

He nodded, eyes bright with amusement. ‘They work you girls hard; it’s part of the initiation. But at least you’ll have some fun on Sunday. Sergeant Harley wanted to be sure you were still up for it?’

‘Oh yes. I was going to pop in this evening and have a word with him, find out what it’s all about.’

‘It’s sheer nonsense,’ he replied. ‘But some of them take it seriously and the competition is fierce.’ He arched his brows, which I’d noticed were fine and nicely shaped. He was very attractive altogether and his smile was somehow easing my tiredness. ‘Have you ever pushed one of those chairs?’

‘Yes. I had to take a patient down to the common room yesterday. It wasn’t easy … those chairs can be awkward to manoeuvre.’

‘No, they aren’t easy, and you’ll find it much worse round the building, especially on the gravel. My advice is to take it slowly for that part and put a spurt on when you get back to hard ground. Otherwise you might get bogged down.’

‘Thanks. I’ll remember. It was good of you to give me some advice, doctor. Sergeant Harley told me he expects to win so I want to do my best for him,’

‘Yes, mustn’t let the patients down. They will all be watching the outcome eagerly.’ He smiled and nodded, his bluish grey eyes studying me thoughtfully. ‘I shall be there to cheer you on, Kathy. Good luck.’

‘Thank you, Doctor.’

‘Right then. Get off and put your feet up for a while.’

His smile made my heart jump with excitement, and I felt pleased that he had taken the trouble to seek me out and wish me luck. Suddenly, I was looking forward to the race on Sunday and what might come after it …

Three

‘Come on, Kathy!’ I heard Ally’s voice screaming above the others as I turned the last corner with my chair and patient still intact despite a bumpy ride. We were lagging behind the leader, who had seemed to fly over the first part of the course. ‘Don’t let them beat you!’

‘Push harder,’ Sergeant Harley urged me on as we saw our quarry just ahead. ‘We’ll catch them if you put your back into it, Kathy. Come on, don’t give up. Why are you slowing down?’

‘We’ve got to cross that gravel yet …’

Ahead of us I could see Nurse Peters struggling to get through the loose gravel. She had glanced at me over her shoulder and then plunged in recklessly, obviously fearing that I was about to catch up with her, and now the wheels of her chair had become embedded in the gravel just as Tom O’Rourke had warned.

I entered the stretch of gravel gingerly. Nurse Peters was digging at the gravel that had bunched beneath the wheels of her chair with her bare hands and I noticed that the chair she was using had small wheel arches and looked hopelessly stuck.

‘Put a move on,’ Sergeant Harley said. ‘She’s getting it free …’

‘We have to go carefully – and if she rushes she’ll get stuck again.’