The Midwife's Glass Slipper / Best For the Baby

“I understand you’re a widower,” Emily said. “How long has it been since your wife died?”

He stopped for a moment, startled because she’d been so direct.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s one of the pieces of information everyone at Family Tree has about you.”

“One of the pieces?” He lifted dishes from the cupboard, not knowing whether to be amused or annoyed.

He could see Emily was flustered, but she went ahead anyway. “Everyone seems to know you’re a widower and have three-year-old twin girls.”

“Three and a half,” he amended. “And if that’s all ‘everyone’ knows, I guess I should consider myself lucky.”

After setting the dinnerware on the counter, he leaned back against it and crossed his arms over his chest. As soon as he did it, he knew it was a defensive gesture. He was feeling defensive. Still, Emily’s honesty prompted the same kind of honesty from him.

“Two years ago I was divorced. Six months later my wife died of cancer.”

“I’m so sorry.”

He uncrossed his arms and let them drop to his sides. “Valerie had had custody of the girls and I had liberal visitation rights. But taking over their full care was a real shocker.”

“I imagine it must have been.”

Usually he didn’t want to talk about this with anyone, but he found discussing the situation with Emily wasn’t so bad. “My mother stepped in to help. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her. Hired a nanny, I guess. That’s what I’m going to have to do now until she’s back on her feet. I set up an interview with someone from a service tomorrow afternoon.”

That was certainly enough about him. He wanted to know more about Emily. “I remember from your application that you were from Corpus Christi.”

“Yes, I was born and raised there. I’d never lived anywhere else until I moved to Sagebrush.”

“Culture shock?”

“From east Texas to west Texas, beach to plains. I’m getting used to it. I’m even beginning to like it.”

“You intend to stay here?”

“I hope to. I like my work. I’ve made great friends. What else could a girl ask for?”

There was something in Emily’s eyes that told him she might like a lot more, children maybe, a family. He noticed she didn’t wear perfume, not the kind other women wore, anyway. But she always smelled like a summer garden. Maybe it was her shampoo. Maybe something she dabbed in intimate places.

They were standing close, close enough that if he leaned forward just a little—

But she suddenly caught her breath. He leaned away. Then he cleared his throat and, feeling as awkward as a teenager, mumbled, “I’d better see what trouble the girls are getting into.” If that wasn’t an exit line, he didn’t know what was.

When he and Amy and Courtney returned to the dining room, he stopped short. Emily hadn’t just put food on the dishes; she’d set places, napkins included. She’d found a place mat from somewhere, put that in the middle and piled the entrees on platters and the sides in serving dishes. Instead of the plastic forks and spoons from the restaurant, she’d used real silverware.

“I hope you girls are hungry.” She pulled out a chair for each of them so they could hop on. She pushed Amy in while he helped Courtney.

Leaning close to him, she said in a low voice, “I thought the girls would have trouble eating with the plastic forks.”

“Are you used to spending time with children?” She seemed to know exactly what to do.

“I’ve never had any of my own, but when I was in Corpus Christi, I volunteered in a pediatric ward when I had time off.”

So that’s how she’d spent her free time. He was seeing facets of Emily he’d never had time to explore.

“Have you ever been married?” he asked as he pulled her chair out for her.

She looked surprised he’d done the gentlemanly thing. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to do the gentlemanly thing.

“Yes, I was married. I’ve been divorced about a year.”

Now it was his turn to ask a blunt question. “Is that why you moved here?”

This time she didn’t hesitate. “I needed a fresh start.”

His hands were on the chair back, close to her hair. She was looking up at him over her shoulder. He was so tempted to push her curls away from her face, to erase the little frown line on her forehead, to tell her he understood about wanting a new beginning.

Yet he’d figured out the past dogged him no matter where he went, or how badly he tried to forget. Did her past dog her, too?

The urge to ask her was strong and on the tip of his tongue when the cell phone on his belt beeped. He almost swore, and then he realized he should be glad for the interruption. This evening was becoming intense and personal.

Straightening, he unhitched the phone, checked the number and held it to his ear. It was his service. Crossing to the counter, he found a notepad and a pen and jotted down the number.

He said to Emily, “I think Lubbock is about to have a new citizen who doesn’t want to wait until its due date. I have to check with the mother-to-be. Go ahead and start eating.”

As he dialed his patient, he noticed Emily asking the girls what they wanted and then selecting their food for them and helping them with it. She was so conscious of what they needed…such a natural with them.

When he finished on the phone, she took one look at his face and asked, “Do you need me to stay with the girls?”

He didn’t want to ask her to do that. He certainly didn’t want to depend on her. If he examined his reasons, they were simple. Today he’d felt a connection with her—a connection that was getting stronger each minute he was with her.

Seeing that the girls were occupied with eating, she pushed back her chair and came over to stand by him. “It’s really all right if you need me to stay. I don’t have any other commitments.”

“I don’t know how long this will go. The contractions are three and a half minutes apart, but this is her first baby. Anything can happen.”

“Tomorrow’s my day off. If you’re not back until late, I’ll just fall asleep on the couch.”

If he was late and if she fell asleep on his couch, something could happen that would startle her awake very fast.

He lowered his voice. “Have you ever heard of night terrors?”

She studied him. “They’re a type of children’s nightmare.”

“Yes, in a way. Though the child often doesn’t remember the nightmare after he or she wakes up. Courtney has them. I can’t let you stay without warning you about them. And if you don’t want to deal with that, I’ll have to find another doctor to cover for me.”

He fully expected her to be put off by the idea, to want to pick up her purse and leave. Instead, she said, “Explain to me what to do if Courtney has one. As long as I’m prepared, I can handle the situation.”

Jared was starting to realize that he’d examined Emily’s résumé, phoned her brief reference list and hired her, but he didn’t really know her.

Tonight, that could change. He wasn’t sure whether he should get to know Emily better…or not.

Chapter Two

Opening her eyes, Emily heard her name as if from a great distance.

“Emily, it’s midnight.”

The feel of Jared’s hand on her shoulder sent tingles throughout her body that brought her awake quickly.

Crouched down beside her, he wore scrubs and smelled as if he’d freshly showered. In fact, his hair was still damp. His muscled arm lay next to hers, almost touching it. His thigh muscles were obvious against the blue cotton fabric. Most of all, she noticed his eyes. They were so green, lighter at first, then more intense, more filled with—

Desire? She hadn’t seen desire in a man’s eyes for a very long time.

As he leaned closer, her anticipation was as rich as the hunger and need in his eyes. But then he stood and ran his hand over his brow.

She sat up but she didn’t want to get her purse and say good-night. She wanted to know if she was right about the vibrations between them.

She patted the sofa next to her. “You look beat. Decompress a little. Tell me about the birth.”

When he gazed at her, his eyes were filled with something she didn’t understand. Questions. What would he be questioning?

“You really want to hear?”

“Sure! Babies are our business. What’s most important to my pregnant moms is what kind of delivery they’ll have and if their baby will be healthy. I like to hear what happens after they leave my care.”

“I never thought of it that way. You don’t usually see the finished result.”

An ache enfolded her heart. She so missed seeing the finished result. “I go to the hospital nursery and take a peek. Sometimes the moms bring babies back to the office to visit after they’re born. But for the most part, I don’t know what happens after they leave me.”

“Tonight was a breeze for a first baby. Leanne’s contractions were two and a half minutes apart when I got there. Her husband was a great coach and she had good focus. By eleven thirty, she had a baby girl, and I was ready for a shower.”

“What do you feel when it happens?”

He appeared startled for a moment and then gave her a long assessing look. “No one has ever asked me that.”

She could see that was true and she wondered why. After all, that feeling was the reason she had delivered baby after baby as a midwife. That feeling was what made it all worthwhile.

He glanced down at his hands as if he was trying to relive the birth. The fatigue left his face. “It’s an unexplainable moment. It’s a moment when something you believe can’t possibly happen, does. It’s a moment when life is precious and men understand why they live and fight and die for what they hold dear.”

“It’s a moment,” she murmured, “when heaven meets earth.”

He studied her and she realized she’d said too much. She should tell him she knew firsthand all about that moment. Yet because of the lawsuit, he might not want her practicing with him. If she told him her history, this closeness she was feeling to him right now could simply vanish.

“You sound as if you know.”

“I’ve attended births.” She didn’t add that she was the one who had caught the baby in her hands.

His shoulder brushed hers as he admitted, “In that moment when a child is born, I forget the long hours and the hassles and the schedule shuffling. I guess most of life is that way. We work for the payoff, and if the payoff keeps us satisfied, we keep doing it.”

“It’s more than a payoff.” She remembered the feel of that little wet body in her hands…the eyes coming open…the first cry. How she missed it. How she wished she had the courage to go back and be part of delivering babies all over again.

Jared angled toward her. They were close enough to feel each other’s breath. “You really do understand.”

“I take care of moms and teach them how to take care of themselves for a reason.”

His large hand was so gentle as he stroked her cheek and pushed her curls away from her face. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Emily. Not everyone can understand the joy of holding a baby. You make what you do and what I do sound like more than a profession. You make it sound special and worthwhile.”

“It is.” She wanted to say more…she wanted to tell him that’s why she’d gone into women’s homes to help them have their babies there. She yearned to say that she’d believed in home births because light and love and friendship could surround the newborn before, during and after the moment of birth. Yet she’d come to doubt that ideal. She’d come to doubt her judgment and skill. With those doubts lurking, she could never do it again. She’d be more prone to making a mistake. Mistakes were unacceptable when you were bringing a child into the world.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She tried to blank her mind because he’d read it too well. “Nothing.”

“You looked lost for a moment.”

Not lost, she wanted to say. Not when I’m with you. But she couldn’t. It was too soon. The feelings were taboo. He was her boss.

Still, any thoughts of boss and employee, of too soon or not soon enough, evaporated as he leaned still closer. “Emily, I don’t know what it is about you.”

His lips were just a breath from brushing hers. “I don’t know what it is about you,” she whispered back.

His arm went around her, strong and protective. She nestled into it as if she belonged there…as if she belonged with him. When he tightened his embrace, his eyes were serious. But his mouth was curved in a small smile as if he were anticipating everything they were about to do.

She felt that same breath-hitching expectancy. The wait for his kiss was life-changing. In that moment, she put her divorce behind her. She took the present in her hands and hoped for a future that could include Jared. Her thoughts surprised her, almost as much as the touch of his lips on hers.

So many sensations bombarded her at once. The pressure of his lips was firm. The texture of his skin was taut and warm. The hunger behind his first touch was restrained, yet pulsing to be let loose. She readied herself for it. Then she realized, she couldn’t be ready for it.

As his mouth opened over hers, as he demanded a response, as she got lost, she couldn’t think about what she was doing. All she could do was give back whatever he asked. When his tongue stroked hers, she eagerly met each exploration. When he angled his head a little differently, her hands rose to his shoulders and then brushed into his hair. She held on to him so he could take her wherever he wanted to go.

He couldn’t seem to get enough. She could feel her skin getting hotter, her cheeks flushing to match his level of arousal. They were both revved up and ready for more. But when his hands moved to her waist and inched her blouse out of her waistband, reality became a pressing concern. As soon as his hand touched the skin of her midriff, she wanted nothing more than to let him finish what they’d started. Yet she knew she couldn’t. This was her boss. She needed her job, secret or no secret, and she’d just put it in jeopardy. How could she get out of this situation without looking like a foolish teenager who didn’t know what she was doing?

But just as Jared had seemed to read her before, his hand slid away from her, his tongue ceased exploring and his mouth—although his lips clung a little—broke off their kiss. She heard his rough sigh.

Then she opened her eyes to gaze into his.

He turned from her slightly, rubbed his hand over his chin, shifted away, then focused on her. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

It seemed as if the words were hard for him to say, as if he didn’t want to say them but knew he had to.

“I shouldn’t have let you.”

“It will not happen again,” he said as if reassuring himself of that. “This isn’t an excuse, but I’ve never met anyone who understood that moment of birth like you do.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs. “This won’t affect our working relationship. I mean, you don’t have to worry about your job.”

That was a relief but didn’t address the attraction still simmering between them. “We can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

“No, we can’t. I’ll remember it every time I look at you. But I can control my actions.” He glanced toward the kitchen and the message machine. “Did you get any phone calls tonight from Chloie Madison?”

“No, I didn’t.”

He looked troubled.

“That’s your cousin?”

“Yes. I need her tomorrow.”

Should she offer to help or not? Should she step in deeper or move away?

Yet, thinking about how she’d loved taking care of Amy and Courtney, she offered, “I can help.” But perhaps her help wouldn’t be wanted after what had just happened. “My day off is tomorrow,” she reminded him. “I can look after the girls if you need me.”

She saw in his eyes that he needed her in a much more basic and intimate way. But then the spark of desire diminished and control took its place.

She added, “I usually just run errands on my day off. But after what just happened, I’ll understand if the situation is too awkward.”

He seemed to think about the pros and cons. “The truth is—I’m surprised you’re still here.”

Emily certainly couldn’t say she didn’t run from problems. That’s exactly what she’d done with the whole mess in Corpus Christi and her divorce. But she liked to think she was mature enough to face a problem without turning away from it. “What happened between you and me doesn’t have to affect me watching your girls. You have surgeries in the morning and won’t even be here.”

“I’m interviewing a nanny in the afternoon, but that’s at my office. Are you sure you’ll feel comfortable with this?”

Jared Madison demanded honesty. She’d learned that over the months she’d worked with him. “I like Courtney and Amy. I’ll be comfortable here.”

He nodded and pushed himself up from the sofa away from her. “All right. I’ll take you up on your offer. But I’ve got to tell you, I don’t like being in debt to anyone. I’ll pay you. Your time is valuable, too.”

“No,” came out of her mouth before she had time to think about it. “I don’t want any payment. Let’s just say we’re doing this friend to friend.”

After he studied her again, really studied her, he nodded. “All right. For now. But I will find a way to repay you.”

She really didn’t want him to repay her, and she suddenly realized why. The crush she’d had on him, if she could call it that, was turning into something else. Now that she was getting to know him, could she be falling in love with him?

That question scared her too much to even consider.

The following afternoon, Jared tapped his loafered foot under his desk, impatient though he shouldn’t be. This woman sitting across from him could be Courtney and Amy’s next nanny, although he couldn’t quite imagine it.

“You’ve lived in Lubbock all your life?” he asked Mrs. Brunswell, a sturdy woman in her early fifties with gray hair that stood out around her head like a fuzzy halo.

Very straight in her chair, she answered him, “Yes, all my life. I’ve no desire to go anywhere. Some people want to see the world. I make myself happy right here in Lubbock.”

Would she curb the girls’ curiosity about the world? Would she make them think Lubbock was all there was? On the other hand, it was good to be happy where you were. He was second-guessing himself, trying to find the perfect person to take care of his daughters. If he had to admit it, he’d already found her. Emily would be perfect. But she had a job that he knew was important to her, even though he wondered if she wouldn’t be better suited working in the hospital, helping to deliver babies.

The older woman sat forward in her chair. “You said you have twins, Dr. Madison. The first thing to do with twins is to show them that they are individuals. It’s much better not to dress them alike and not to let them spend all their time together. They also need to explore individual talents. If one takes piano lessons, the other should take clarinet. They deserve their own instrument. Do you know what I mean?”

Courtney and Amy liked to dress alike. They didn’t have to. They had plenty of clothes in their closets, but they chose to wear the same outfits on the same days. They liked to be with each other. They played with other children and would be doing more of that when preschool started next week. But they preferred each other’s company. Should he really interfere with that? What would Emily think?

He moved to the next point on his checklist. “In my occupation I have unusual hours. Would you be able to cook supper for them if need be?”

“I can cook, but I don’t make chicken nuggets and French fries. I cook good meals—pork and sauerkraut, spinach and zucchini casseroles, lots of vegetables, good protein, few potatoes. I have to cut out those carbohydrates, you know.”

Jared thought about Emily serving the takeout food. He thought of Emily, helping cut Courtney’s meat. He thought of Emily retying the bows in Amy’s hair. What kind of meals would Emily cook if given the chance?

In spite of the restraint he’d been employing ever since last night and their earth-shaking kiss, he’d tried to keep his mind strictly on the practical aspects of his day. But he could not just drop that kiss from his memory. He couldn’t just push it into a closet and lock the door. It kept peeking out. It kept unsettling him. It kept reminding him he was a man with needs. Just thinking about it aroused him and that had to stop.

Pork and sauerkraut. Spinach. Caring. Playing. Connecting.

“Do you know children’s games?” he suddenly asked.

“I can play gin rummy and crazy eights,” Mrs. Brunswell replied, as if those were the only games required.

“I’m thinking of outside games, too—hide-and-seek, scavenger hunts.”

“Oh, I suppose we could do those.”

Fair or unfair, he was getting the feeling that Mrs. Brunswell might keep an eye to the TV while she played crazy eights with her charges. She looked slow-footed to him as if running after a child would take a great deal of effort.

Jared’s cell phone beeped and he was glad for the interruption. “Excuse me,” he said to Mrs. Brunswell. Then swiveling away from her, he checked the number. It was Emily. “What’s wrong?” he asked, worried.

“Nothing’s wrong. The girls are fine. I’m fine. We’re having a great day. Two things,” she said quickly. “First of all, your cousin Chloie called.”

“Why didn’t she call my cell?”

“She just got around to checking her messages and didn’t have your number in her contact list. The good news is she can help you. She’s on South Padre Island meeting with a client and will be back tonight. She can take care of the twins tomorrow. She said she’s caught up on her Web design deadlines and can take a break.”

“Thank goodness,” he muttered, glad he didn’t have to find a nanny right away. “And the second?” Hearing in Emily’s voice the sweetness, caring and enthusiasm, he knew he could never hire Mrs. Brunswell.

“Second,” Emily went on, “I’d like to take the girls to the park this afternoon. I’ll be very careful with them, keep my eyes on them all the time. The fresh air would be good for them.”

He suddenly realized he trusted Amy and Courtney with Emily because they couldn’t stop talking about her, because of the expression on her face whenever she was with them. Whatever the reason, it was gut instinct. His gut instinct was telling him to dismiss Mrs. Brunswell. If Chloie could watch the girls until his mother was on her feet again, he wouldn’t need to hire a nanny. “The park will be fine. I’m going to check in on my mother and then I’ll be home.”

After he closed his phone, he concentrated on Mrs. Brunswell again, searching for the words to tell her he wasn’t hiring her.

Emily felt like a mom and loved the feeling! With the Texas-bright sun peeking around the clouds, she helped Amy from the swing, then took her hand and Courtney’s. They walked through the grass to the merry-go-round. Although she felt like a mom, she wasn’t. Soon Jared’s daughters would be under someone else’s care. “You’ll be playing with Chloie soon. That should be fun.”

“Are you going away like our mommy did?” Amy asked.

This was dangerous territory. Emily didn’t know enough about the situation to speak with the girls about it. At three and a half, how much could they remember about their mother?

“I’m not going to go away. I’m going to go back to working where your dad works.”

“Mommy ran away and never came back,” Courtney informed Emily seriously.

Was that how Jared had explained their mother’s absence? Had they heard adults discussing it? She didn’t believe Jared should just let them think their mother went away and never came back. Yet Emily knew she had no right to discuss this with them.

“Is Grandma coming back?” Amy wanted to know as they reached the merry-go-round.