The Daddy Dilemma

“It’s so cut and dry in the newspaper, isn’t it? A driver under the influence of cold medication passed out, jumped the median strip and plowed into me.” She took a deep breath. “I’m lucky to be alive. Lucky I don’t remember the actual accident or the ambulance trip to the hospital. But I remember everything from surgery on. Most of all, when the doctor told me he had to perform a hysterectomy.”

Nathan knew how much he’d wanted to be a dad. What if he’d gone to bed one night and awakened in the morning to a stranger telling him he could never father a child. He could hardly imagine how devastated Sara must have been.

Sara rearranged herself in her chair, took a few swallows of her milk and then admitted, “When I donated my eggs in exchange for the money, I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. I know the money was supposed to compensate me for my time, the physical distress to my body and all of that, but taking it bothered me. Still, it prolonged my mom’s life for five years. I had all these extra days and hours and minutes to spend with her. I’ll never regret that.”

“I think I hear a ‘but,’” Nathan replied gruffly.

“My career had always been my ambition, my vocation, my life. It gave me energy and purpose even throughout mom’s illness. Because of it, we could keep up with the bills and I could give mom what she needed. I could focus on a business that had somehow gotten into trouble—either with a lawsuit against it or red tape tangles—and escape for a time before I had to face the fact again that mom was slipping away. But…after my accident and the hysterectomy, like you, I tried to find meaning in everything that had happened, and I couldn’t. My career didn’t mean what it had before. It was all just too confusing to try to figure out. And I had to know if I had a child out there.”

Although he wanted to separate himself from Sara and her interference in his life, he could understand her reasoning and her longing. Nathan ate his sandwiches in silence. Once in a while, she sipped her milk, looked over at him, then glanced away.

He had the feeling they’d shared a little bit too much personal information too soon. He never talked to anyone about Colleen, what they’d gone through, what he’d felt after she and Mark had died. Why now? Why this woman?

Because she might be Kyle’s mother.

No matter how much he wanted to eradicate that fact, he kept bumping into it.

Finished eating, he stood and took his dish and glass over to the sink. Sara did the same. Unfortunately, they reached for the handle to the dishwasher at the same time. Their fingers tangled and this time neither of them pulled away. When Nathan gazed into her eyes, he felt a churning inside of him. It was uncomfortable, unwelcome and totally unsettling. He was standing bare chested and barefoot, with only sleeping shorts between him and her cotton nightshirt. The impulse to kiss her was so strong he had to close his eyes. He took a step back, and when he opened them again, he saw she had done the same thing. She was standing in the corner, both hands around her mug.

He opened the dishwasher, dropped in his plate and glass and waited for her to put her mug in.

“I have to rinse it,” she said softly.

When he lifted the door to close it, he didn’t step away fast enough. The next second she was there at the sink beside him, his body practically touching hers. She didn’t wear perfume, yet she did use a shampoo that smelled fruity. Standing this close, looking down at her, he found his gaze going to the V between her breasts under the nightshirt. He knew he should look away. He really should. But he hadn’t gazed at a woman in an intimate way in five long years. His desire and passion and need had been frozen. Now it all woke up and practically bowled him over.

Sara was biting her lower lip, and he was fighting for…what? Control? Composure? Propriety? He swallowed, mentally pouring freezing water over his libido, and turned away from her.

“I’ll be leaving for the airport around seven,” he called over his shoulder.

“Nathan?”

He stopped, and politeness made him face her again. “What?”

“Would you like me to make breakfast?”

“No. I’ll grab a bagel at the airport. Why don’t you just stay in bed.” It was more than a suggestion; it was practically an order.

Although he didn’t think she was the type of woman who took orders, she nodded. “That would probably be best.”

As she turned on the spigot, he strode quickly to his bedroom. He had a feeling he’d finish that novel tonight, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to get any sleep.

Sara was transferring file folders from her desk to her briefcase when Ted Feeney knocked on her open door Monday evening. Whenever she saw Ted, her heart still hurt a little. Not because she wanted to date him again. She’d learned what kind of man he really was. But her heart hurt because of the dreams he’d represented…the ones she’d had to bury. They hadn’t talked for weeks, not since he’d admitted a woman who couldn’t have children didn’t fit into his life plan.

So why was he here now?

She forced a smile. After all, they worked for the same firm. “Hi, Ted.”

“I heard you’re taking time off again.” He was trying for a nonchalant tone, but she heard an edge of disapproval underneath.

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