Australian Affairs: Wed: Second Chance with Her Soldier / The Firefighter to Heal Her Heart / Wedding at Sunday Creek

‘Thanks for sharing that, Steve,’ she managed to say eventually. ‘Joe never tells me anything about Afghanistan.’ To keep up the charade, she tried to make this sound light and teasing—a loving wife gently chiding her over-protective husband.

‘Well, it’s been a pleasure to finally meet you and Jacko,’ Steve said. ‘But I’m afraid I have to head back. We’re throwing a Christmas party at our place tonight. Pity you guys can’t join us, but Lozza will have my guts for garters if I’m late.’

Already, he was climbing back into the cockpit.

Without Joe.

‘You’d better hurry and get your things,’ Ellie told Joe.

‘My things?’

‘You’re not leaving without your luggage, surely?’

His blue eyes shimmered with puzzled amusement as he stepped towards her. Touched her lightly on the elbow. ‘I’m not leaving now, Ellie,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m not going anywhere till the floods go down.’

‘But—’

He cupped her jaw with a broad hand. ‘Relax. It’s cool.’ His smile was warm, possibly teasing. His touch was lighting all kinds of fires. ‘I couldn’t let you eat all this stuff on your own.’

And then his thumb, ever so softly, brushed over her lips. ‘Let’s wave Steve off, and get these things inside. And then we can really start planning our Christmas.’

Our Christmas.

Joe was free to leave. Steve Hansen would have taken him back to the coast in a heartbeat—no questions asked. Instead Joe had chosen to stay.

And the way he’d looked at her just now was like the Joe of old.

But that was crazy. He couldn’t... They couldn’t...

She mustn’t read too much into this. It was Christmas and Joe wanted to spend more time with Jacko. It was the only logical, believable explanation—certainly, the only one Ellie’s conscience could accept.

But as Steve took off with the downdraught from his chopper flattening the grass and sending the cattle in the next paddock scampering, she had to ask, ‘So, if you knew Steve could fly out here, why didn’t you get him to rescue you?’

Joe shrugged. ‘It would have been difficult, leaving the hire car stranded here.’

It was a pretty weak excuse and Ellie didn’t try to hide her scepticism.

‘Besides,’ Joe added smoothly, ‘you and I decided on a truce, and how can you have a truce between two people if one of the combatants simply walks away?’

As excuses went, this was on the shaky side too, but Ellie wasn’t going to argue. Not if Joe was determined to uphold their truce. And not when he’d gone to so much trouble and expense to celebrate Christmas with her and Jacko.

‘Come on,’ he said, hefting the white box of cold stores. ‘Let’s see what Steve’s managed to find.’

* * *

The packages were piled into the kitchen and it was just like opening Christmas presents a day early.

In the box from the cold stores, nestling in a bed of ice, they found the most fantastic array of seafood—export quality banana prawns, bright red lobsters, a slab of Tasmanian smoked salmon, even a mud crab.

‘I may have slightly over-catered,’ Joe said with a wry grin. ‘But seafood always looks a lot bigger in the shell.’

In another cold bag there was a lovely heritage Berkshire ham from the Tablelands. This brought yet another grin from Joe. ‘If the wet closes in again, we’ll be OK for ham sandwiches.’

The rest of the produce was just as amazing—rosy old-fashioned tomatoes that actually smelled the way tomatoes were supposed to smell; bright green fresh asparagus, crispy butter-crunch lettuce, further packets of salad greens, a big striped watermelon. There were even Californian cherries, all the way from the USA.

In yet another box there were jars of mustard, mayonnaise and marmalade. Pickles and quince paste from the Barossa Valley. Boxes of party fun—bonbons and sparklers, whistles and glow sticks.

And there was a plum pudding and brandy cream, and a bottle of classic French champagne, and another whole case of wine of a much classier vintage than the wines Ellie had bought.

She thanked Joe profusely. In fact, on more than one occasion, she almost hugged him, but somehow she managed to restrain herself. Joe might have been incredibly, over-the-top generous, but Ellie was quite sure a newly ex-wife should not hug the ex-husband she’d so recently served with divorce papers.

It was important to remember that their Christmas truce was nothing more than a temporary cessation of hostilities—temporary being the operative word.

Ellie forced her mind to safer practical matters—like what they were going to do with the stuffed chicken and shortbread dough sitting in the fridge.

‘We’ll have them tonight,’ suggested Joe. ‘They’ll be perfect for Christmas Eve.’

So the chicken and assorted roast vegetables, followed by shortbread cookies for dessert, became indeed the perfect Christmas Eve fare.

A cool breeze arrived in the late afternoon, whisking away the muddy aroma, so Ellie set a small table on the veranda where they ate in the gathering dusk, sharing their meal with Jacko.

Joe stuck coloured glow sticks into the pot plants along the verandah, lending a touch of magic to the warm summer’s night.

Jacko was enchanted.

Ellie was enchanted too, as she sipped a glass of chilled New Zealand white wine, one of Joe’s selections.

She had spent the past four years working so hard on Karinya—getting up at dawn, spending long days out in the paddocks overseeing the needs of her cattle, and then, after Jacko was born, fitting in as much time as possible to be with him as well.

Most nights, she’d fallen into bed exhausted. She’d almost forgotten what it was like to take time out to party.

Putting Jacko to bed on Christmas Eve was fun, even though he didn’t really understand her explanation about the pillowslip at the end of his cot. He would soon work it out in the morning, and Ellie’s sense of bubbling anticipation was enough enthusiasm for both of them.

When she tiptoed out of Jacko’s room, she found Joe on the veranda, leaning on the railing again and looking out at the few brave stars that peeked between the lingering clouds.

He turned to her. ‘So when do you fill Jacko’s stocking?’

She smiled. ‘I’ve never played Santa before, so I’m not exactly an expert, but I guess I should wait till I’m sure he’s well and truly asleep. Maybe I’ll do the deed just before I go to bed.’

‘I’d like to make a contribution,’ Joe said, sounding just a shade uncertain. ‘I asked Steve to collect something for Jacko.’

‘OK. That’s nice. But you can put it under the tree and give it to him in the morning.’

‘I’d like to show it to you now. You might want to throw it in with the Father Christmas booty.’

‘Oh, there’s no need—’

But already Joe was beckoning Ellie to follow him inside, into the study, where he promptly shut the door behind them.

‘This makes a bit of a noise and I don’t want to wake him.’ He was trying to sound casual, but he couldn’t quite hide the excitement in his eyes.

Intrigued, Ellie watched as he pulled a box from beneath the desk and proceeded to open it.

‘Oh, wow!’ she breathed as Joe drew out the world’s cutest toy puppy. ‘A Border Collie. How gorgeous. It looks so real.’ She touched the soft, furry, black and white coat. ‘It almost feels real and it’s so cuddly. Jacko will love it!’

‘Watch this.’ Joe pressed a button in the puppy’s stomach and set it on the ground. Immediately, it sat up and barked, then dropped back to all fours and began to scamper across the floor.

‘Oh, my goodness.’ Ellie laughed. ‘It’s amazing.’

The puppy bumped into the desk, backed away and then proceeded to run around in circles.

‘I knew Jacko was too little for a real dog,’ Joe said. ‘But I thought this might be the next best thing.’

‘It is. It’s gorgeous. He’ll be over the moon.’ The presents I bought won’t be half as exciting.

Joe was clearly pleased with her reaction. ‘One of the guys in our unit bought a toy like this for his kid’s birthday, and his wife put a movie of the boy and the puppy on the Internet. It was so damn cute it more or less went viral at the base.’

‘I can imagine.’ Ellie was touched by how pleased Joe looked, as if it was really important to find the right gift for his son.

‘The other present I brought back with me was totally unsuitable,’ he said. ‘A kite. What was I thinking?’

‘A kite from Afghanistan?’

Joe rolled his eyes to the ceiling. ‘Yeah.’

‘But their kites are supposed to be beautiful, aren’t they?’

‘Well, yes, that’s true, and it’s a national pastime for the kids over there, but a kite’s not really suitable for a two-year-old. I just didn’t think. I’ll keep it for later.’

The puppy had wound down now and Joe scooped it up, unselfconsciously cradling it in his arms.

It wasn’t only little boys who looked cute with toy dogs, Ellie decided.

‘So you might like to put this in with the Santa stash,’ he said.

‘But then Jacko won’t know you bought it for him.’

‘That’s not important.’

Ellie frowned. ‘I think it is important, Joe. If you’re going to go away again for ages at a time, a lovely gift like this will help Jacko to remember you.’

Perhaps this was the wrong thing to say. Joe’s face turned granite-hard—hard cheekbones, hard eyes, hard jaw.

Silence stretched uncomfortably between them.

Ellie wished she knew what he was thinking. Was he regretting his decision to work so far away? Perhaps he felt differently about leaving Jacko now that he’d met the boy and so clearly liked him?

It was more than likely that Joe loved Jacko. For Ellie, just thinking about Joe heading off there to that freezing, lonely, big ocean made her arms ache strangely. They felt so empty and she felt sad for Joe, sad for Jacko too—for the tough, complicated father and his sweet, uncomplicated son.

Maybe she even felt sad for herself?

No. I’ve made my choices.

It seemed like an age before Joe spoke. ‘I’d rather my son remembered me, not the toys I’ve given him.’

Ellie swallowed. It was hard to know whether he was taking the high moral ground or simply being stubborn. But he was sticking to his decision.

She held out her hand. ‘In that case, I’d love to add this puppy to the Santa bag. Jacko will adore it. He’ll be stoked.’

‘You want to keep it in this box?’

‘No. It looks more true-to-life out of the box.’ Ellie hugged the puppy to her stomach. ‘Joe, you haven’t bought a Christmas present for me, have you?’

The hard look in his eyes lightened. ‘There might be a little something. Why? Does that bother you?’

‘Yes. I don’t have anything for you. I never dreamed—’

He smiled crookedly. ‘Chill, Ellie. It’s no big deal. I know you haven’t been anywhere near shops.’

Just the same, she was going to worry about this and it would probably keep her awake.

* * *

This is damn hard, Joe thought as Ellie left with the dog. Coming home was so hard. So much harder than he’d expected.

Of course, he’d always known he would have to make big adjustments. Soldiers heard plenty of talk about the challenges they would face as they transitioned from the huge responsibilities and constant danger of military life to the relative monotony and possible boredom of civilian life.

But Joe had been convinced that his adjustments would be different, easier than the other men’s. To begin with, he wasn’t coming home to a wife and family.

Or at least he hadn’t planned to come home to a wife and family.

And yet here he was—on Christmas Eve—divorced on paper, but up to his ears in family life and getting in deeper by the minute.

He had to face up to the inescapable truth. No matter how much distance he put between himself and his family, there would always be ties to Ellie and Jacko.

It was so obvious now. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before.

And here was another thing. By coming back to Karinya, he was forced to see his absence in Afghanistan from Ellie’s point of view, and he didn’t like the picture he discovered.

While he’d played the war hero, earning his fellow soldiers’ high regard, his wife—she’d still been his wife, after all—had slogged for long, hard days on this property, and she’d done it alone for the most part. As well, with no support whatsoever from him, she’d weathered the long awaited pregnancy and birth of their son.

On her own.

After the years of heartbreak and invasive procedures that had eroded their marriage, Joe knew damn well that the nine months of pregnancy must have been a huge emotional roller coaster for Ellie.

And what had he done? He’d tried to block out all thoughts of her pregnancy. And he’d let her soldier on. Yes, Ellie had most definitely soldiered on. Alone. Courageously.

Just thinking about it made Joe tremble now. During that whole time, Ellie must have believed he didn’t care.

Hell. No wonder she had trouble trusting his motives today. No wonder she’d expected him to escape in Steve’s chopper as soon as he had the chance.

And yet, strangely, escape had been the last thing on his mind. Shouldn’t he be worried about that?

CHAPTER EIGHT

WHEN ELLIE WOKE early next morning, she felt an immediate riff of excitement, a thrill straight from childhood.

Christmas morning!

She went to her bedroom window and looked out. It was raining again, but not too heavily. She didn’t mind about the rain—at least it would cool things down.

‘Happy Christmas,’ she whispered to the pale pink glimmer in the clouds on the eastern horizon, and then she gave a little skip. Rain, hail or shine, she was more excited about this Christmas than she had been in years.

Having a child to share the fun made such a difference. And this year they had all Joe’s bounty to enjoy, as well as his pleasant company during their day-long truce.

The truce was a big part of the difference.

Don’t think about tomorrow. Just make the most of today.

On the strength of that, Ellie dressed festively in red jeans and a white sleeveless blouse with a little frill around the neckline. When she brushed her hair, she was about to tie it back into its usual ponytail when she changed her mind and left it to swing free about her shoulders.

Why not? They might be in the isolated outback, but it was Christmas, so she threaded gold hoops in her ears as well, and sprayed on a little scent.

On her way to the kitchen she passed Jacko’s room, but he was still asleep, still unaware of the exciting bundle at the end of his cot. He normally wouldn’t wake for at least another hour.

As Ellie passed the open door of Joe’s room, she glanced in and saw that his bed was made, so he was already up, too. She felt pleased. It would be nice to share an early morning cuppa while they planned their day together.

Maybe they could start with a breakfast of scrambled eggs and smoked salmon with croissants? And they could brew proper coffee and have an extra croissant with that new, expensive marmalade.

Joe might have other ideas, of course. He wasn’t in the kitchen, however.

Ellie turned on the kettle and went to the doorway while she waited for it to come to the boil. Almost immediately, she saw movement out in a paddock.

Joe?

She crossed the veranda to get a better view through the misty rain. It was definitely Joe out there and he was bending over a cow that seemed to be on the ground.

Ellie frowned. Most of her pregnant cows had calved, but one or two had been late to drop. She hoped this one wasn’t in trouble.

Grabbing a coat and Akubra from the pegs by the back door, she shoved her feet into gumboots and hurried down the steps and over the wet, slippery grass, dodging puddles in the track that ran beside the barbed wire fence.

‘Is everything OK?’ she called as she reached Joe.

He’d been crouching beside the cow, but when Ellie called he straightened. He was dressed as she was in a dark oilskin coat and broad-brimmed hat. In the dull grey morning light, his eyes were very bright blue.

Ellie had always had a thing for Joe’s eyes. This morning they seemed to glow. They set her pulses dancing.

‘Everything’s fine,’ he said. ‘You have a new calf.’

And now she dragged her attention to the cow and saw that she had indeed delivered her calf. It was huddled on the ground beside her, dark red and still damp, receiving a motherly lick.

‘Her bellowing woke me up,’ Joe said. ‘So I came out to investigate, but she’s managed fine without any help.’

‘That’s great. And now we have a little Christmas calf,’ Ellie said, smiling.

‘Yes.’ Joe smiled too and his gaze rested on her. ‘Happy Christmas, Ellie.’

‘Happy Christmas.’ Impulsively, she stepped forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

He kissed her in reply—just a simple little kiss on her cheek, but, to her embarrassment, bright heat bloomed where his lips touched her skin.

Awkwardly, she stepped away and paid studious attention to the little calf as it staggered to its feet. It was incredibly cute, all big eyes and long spindly legs.

‘It’s a boy,’ Joe said, and almost immediately the little fellow gave a skip and tried to headbutt its tired mum.

Ellie laughed, but the laugh died when she saw Joe’s suddenly serious expression.

‘I’ve been thinking about you,’ he said. ‘I never asked what it was like—when Jacko was born.’

She felt winded, caught out. ‘Oh, God, don’t ask.’

He was frowning. ‘Why? Was it bad?’

You shouldn’t be bothering with this now. Not after all this time.

‘I know I should have asked you long ago, Ellie.’ Joe’s throat worked. ‘I’m sorry, but I’d like to know. Was...was it OK?’

Even now, memories of her prolonged labour made her wince. She’d been alone and frightened in a big Townsville hospital, and she’d been unlucky. Rather than having the assistance of a nice, sensitive and understanding midwife, the nurse designated to look after her had been brusque and businesslike. Unsympathetic.

So many times during her twenty plus hours of labour, Ellie could have benefited from a little hand-holding. A comforting companion. But she wouldn’t tell Joe that. Not now.

Especially not today.

She dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand. ‘Most women have a hard time with their first.’

A haunted look crept into his eyes. ‘So it was tough?’

OK, so he probably wouldn’t give up without details. She told him as casually as she could. ‘Almost twenty-four hours and a forceps delivery.’

She wouldn’t tell him about the stitches. That would totally gross him out. ‘It was all perfectly normal in the end, thank heavens, but it had its scary moments.’

Joe looked away. She saw the rise of his chest as he drew a deep breath.

‘But it was worth it,’ Ellie said softly. ‘It was so worth every minute of those long hours to see Jacko.’ And suddenly she had to tell Joe more, had to help him to see the joy. ‘He was the most beautiful baby ever born, Joe. He had this little scrunched up face and dark hair. And he was waving his little arms. Kicking his legs. He had long feet, just like yours, and he was so amazingly perfect. It was the biggest moment of my life.’

You should have been there.

Oh, help. She was going to cry if she kept talking about this. Joe looked as if he was already battling tears.

It was Christmas Day. They should not be having this conversation.

Forcing herself to be practical, Ellie nodded to the new calf and its mother. ‘I’ll bring them some supplements later but, right now, I’m hanging out for breakfast. Are you coming?’

It took a moment for the furrows in Joe’s brow to smooth. He flashed a scant, uncertain smile. ‘Sure.’

‘Let’s hurry then. I’m starving.’

* * *

On the homestead’s back veranda, Ellie pulled off her gumboots and removed her hat and coat. Joe shouldn’t have been paying close attention. But, beneath the outdoor gear, she was dressed for Christmas in skinny red jeans and a frilly white top. Winking gold earrings swung from her ears and her dark glossy hair hung loose.

‘So I was thinking scrambled eggs and smoked salmon?’

Breakfast? With his emotions running high, Joe’s thoughts were on tasting Ellie’s soft pink lips and hauling her red and white deliciousness close. He wanted to peel her frilly neckline down and press kisses along the delicate line of her collarbone. Wanted to trace the teasing seams of her jaunty red jeans.

Yeah, right, Brainless. Clever strategy. You’d land right back where you started with this woman. Ruining her life.

‘Joe?’

He blinked. ‘Sorry?’

With evident patience, Ellie repeated her question. ‘Are you OK with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon?’

‘Sure. It sounds—’

‘Mummy!’ cried a high-pitched voice from inside the house. ‘Look, Mummy, look! A puppy!’

Ellie grinned. ‘Guess we’ll deal with breakfast in a little while.’

* * *

For Joe, most of Christmas Day ran pretty much to plan. Jacko loved his gifts—especially the little dog, and the colourful interlocking building set that Ellie had bought for him. The three of them enjoyed Ellie’s leisurely breakfast menu, and Joe and Ellie took their second cups of coffee through to the lounge room where they opened more presents from under the tree—mostly presents for Jacko from their respective families.

Ellie loved the fancy box of lotions and bath oils and creams that Steve Hansen’s wife had selected for her. And, to Joe’s surprise, she handed him a gift.

‘From Jacko and me,’ she said shyly.

It was very small. Tiny, to be accurate. Wrapped in shiny red paper with a gold ribbon tied in an intricate bow.

‘I know I said I didn’t have anything for you, Joe. I meant I hadn’t bought anything. This...this is homemade.’

Puzzled, he opened it and found a USB stick, a simple storage device for computers.

‘I’ve put all Jacko’s photos on there,’ Ellie said. ‘Everything from when he was born. I...um...thought you might like to—’

She couldn’t go on. Her mouth pulled out of shape and, as her face crumpled, she gave a helpless shake of her head.

Dismayed, Joe dropped his gaze and stared fiercely at the tiny device in his hand.

‘It’ll help you to catch up on Jacko’s first two years,’ Ellie said more calmly.

But Joe was far from calm as he thought about all the images this gift contained. Two whole years of his son’s life that he’d virtually ignored.

He saw that his hand was trembling. ‘Thanks,’ he said gruffly. ‘That’s—’

Hell, he couldn’t make his voice work properly. ‘I...I really appreciate this.’

It wasn’t enough, but it was the best he could do.

* * *

They phoned their families.

‘It’s bedlam here,’ Joe’s mother laughed. ‘Wall to wall grandchildren.’

‘Jacko loves the picture books you sent, Mum. And the train set from his cousins. They were a huge hit.’ The phone line was bad after all the rain and he had to almost yell.

‘We miss you, Joe. And we’re dying to meet Jacko, of course. Everyone sends their love. I hope you’re having a nice day, darling.’

‘We are, thanks. It’s been great so far. Everything’s fine.’

He and Jacko went into the lounge room and built a tall tower with the new blocks while Ellie phoned her mother. Joe had no intention of listening in, but she also had to speak loudly, so he couldn’t help but hear.

‘Harold gave you a diamond bracelet? How...how thoughtful. Yes, lovely. Yes, Mum, yes, Joe’s still here. No, no. No problems...No, Mum. Honestly, you didn’t have to say that. All right. Apology accepted. No, it doesn’t mean I’m giving in. Yes, we’re having beautiful seafood. One of Joe’s Army mates brought it out in a helicopter. Yes, I thought so. Very nice. And Happy Christmas to you, too!’

Ellie came back into the lounge room and pulled a heaven-help-me face. ‘I think I need a drink.’