Delivering Love

‘I believe in holistic midwifery—which is the use of all techniques that can help the clients,’ Poppy said. ‘What’s your problem with that?’

They glared at each other, and she watched Jake’s eyes narrow.

‘Hocus pocus, Poppy. Natural doesn’t automatically mean safe. There is no scientific proof that these methods work—and I think it’s dangerous. When something goes wrong it’s my conventional medicine that’s going to save them.’

By the time he finished his tirade his voice had risen.

‘I’m not deaf, Jake. On the surface, your arguments are old school and nothing I can’t demolish. But there’s something deeper and more personal in this explosion of emotion. What experiences have you had with alternative therapies?’ She gentled her voice. She didn’t want to cause him pain. Wasn’t even sure of the reaction she might get, let alone the fallout—but it was too late.

Fiona McArthur is Australian and lives with her husband and five sons on the Mid-North Coast of New South Wales. Her interests are writing, reading, playing tennis, e-mail and discovering the fun of computers—of course that’s when she’s not watching the boys play competition cricket, football or tennis. She loves her work as a part-time midwife in a country hospital, facilitates antenatal classes and enjoys the company of young mothers in a teenage pregnancy group.

Now that her youngest son has started school Fiona has more time for writing and is looking forward to the challenge of improving her craft. DELIVERING LOVE is her first novel.

Delivering Love

Fiona McArthur

www.millsandboon.co.uk

To my Dad—my first hero.

CONTENTS

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

CHAPTER ONE

‘CAESAREAN birth, seventeen-ten,’ the scout nurse intoned. Everyone glanced at the clock as the baby was delivered into the world. Nobody spoke. The theatre staff at Midcoast Hospital, New South Wales, were too busy willing the baby to move.

The child lay tinged with blue and still, across his mother’s green-draped stomach.

Come on, Baby, Poppy McCrae urged silently as she moved into action. This was why she was here. She knew how resilient babies were once they had oxygen and the stimulation of the outside world.

Her gloved fingers directed the tiny suction tube to gently clear his mouth and nose as Dr Gates clamped and severed the ropy link between the baby and his mother.

Poppy gathered the tiny human to her chest and carried him to the resuscitation trolley. How he responded in the next five minutes would indicate his oxygen depletion.

Her elbow knocked the clock timer to keep track of time since birth and she positioned him on his back with his head towards her. She briskly rubbed the infant’s damp skin with a warmed towel. Sometimes, towelling would be enough to stimulate a baby to breathe. His little limbs wobbled slackly with her movements and Poppy winced. Twenty seconds since birth.

She reached for the stethoscope and listened for his heartbeat, heard the newborn’s slow steady beating in her ears and exhaled in relief. A sluggish beat was much better than no beat at all.

Placing the mask firmly over his nose and mouth, she gently squeezed oxygen into the tiny lungs with short puffs from the bag. Poppy nodded slightly at the way his chest rose and fell as she squeezed the bag.

One minute since birth. It felt like ten. His heart rate was better at just under a hundred beats a minute. She glanced up at the scrub-room window. Still nobody there. She frowned. Where was this new paediatrician?

‘Do it, Baby. Wake up and smell everybody sweating.’ She rubbed the infant again and continued puffing oxygen through the mask, noting the faint improvement in his skin colour.

‘You’re a dawdler, but you’re working on it. Good boy.’ She patted him.

The operating-theatre doors whooshed open and Poppy looked up briefly in relief. A tall figure, masked and gowned, strode over to the resuscitaire.

‘Dr Sheppard. Paediatrician. How long since birth?’

The previous week’s speculation about him was unimportant now and she glanced at the timer ticking away. ‘Two minutes, Doctor.’ They still didn’t know why the baby had become distressed during labour, and Poppy prayed there was no birth defect causing the problem.

She swapped places so he could stand at the baby’s head. ‘Slow foetal heart rate since admission and decreased foetal movement. Stunned at birth. No respiratory effort as yet, although pinking up slightly with bagging. Heart rate just under a hundred now.’

Poppy kept her gaze on the baby’s chest as it rose and fell with each squeeze of the black rubber bag.

‘How long was the labour and how much pethidine did the mother have?’

‘Less than four hours before the midwife noticed a sudden change in foetal heartbeat. As for the other...’ Poppy smiled at the memory of the baby’s earth mother and looked up at him ‘...we don’t use pain relief like pethidine very often here. The only drugs on board come from the anaesthetic. The baby was supposed to be born at home.’

She saw Dr Sheppard narrow his eyes and grimace. Great. She gritted her teeth. He’s not sympathetic to home births. She’d have to work on that. Later.

‘Hmm,’ was all he said. ‘Now, Baby, we’ll pop a little tube down your throat to help you breathe for a few minutes, and if you’re very good I’ll take it out again shortly.’

He listened to the infant’s chest and then took over the bagging so that Poppy could prepare the equipment. As she placed each object on top of the trolley she couldn’t help noticing how gentle his large hands were as he handled the newborn.

His voice rumbled on a deeper note as he spoke to the baby, and Poppy felt as if a cool breeze had somehow eddied into Theatre and blown across her neck. She shrugged off the thought that the cadences in his speech were niggling her as familiar, but she had to admit he had a great voice.

Not since her big city hospital training had Poppy felt so attuned during resuscitation, and she wordlessly placed the laryngoscope into his upturned palm. As she watched the diminutive patient lie flaccidly under his care, she sensed the anxiety of the other staff. There was none of the usual conversation.

The first signs of response started to appear. Poppy welcomed the lightening of weight in her own chest as, with each puff of the bag, the baby’s skin colour washed pinker from the oxygen. With the tiniest movements, the baby began to twitch and move.

Go for it, Baby! Poppy urged the little boy on in her mind. His plump hands clenched and the tiny toes spread as if in answer.

Relief washed over her like incoming surf. His little face grimaced and his chest fluttered as he struggled to breathe for himself.

Poppy sighed with relief. Any second now. She positioned the oxygen mask back over the baby’s face as Dr Sheppard removed the tube to allow the infant to breathe for himself.

The baby gasped and coughed. Then came the most beautiful sound in the world. He cried.

Poppy’s eyes misted and she looked up to meet those of the man beside her.

It was then that she fully took in the height, the forehead and those vivid blue eyes. It wasn’t just the voice that was familiar. For a moment she doubted her own sanity until common sense stepped in.

That man was dead!

She looked again and saw a different man beneath the green theatre attire. Similar but not the same. She shook her head and relegated another thought to later.

Refocussing on the crying baby, a smile spread from deep inside her. To hell with it. The baby was fine, they’d done a good job and life was great. She was glad they had a new paediatrician, even though doctors weren’t her favourite people. She smiled from her heart at this tall, skilled doctor standing beside her. He looked back and for a moment it seemed as if he, too, had been moved by the moment until his gaze hardened and he seemed to look right through her. Poppy shrugged and looked away.

The baby was roaring loudly now and she bundled him up in warm bunny rugs while keeping the oxygen mask tucked near his mouth. She watched Dr Sheppard gently pat the little boy to soothe him. He seemed to genuinely care about his little patient. Maybe he was one of the good guys.

All across Theatre, breaths were expelled and talk broke out.

‘I think everyone needs some oxygen after that. Well done,’ Dr Gates called out. He added, satisfaction clearly evident in his voice, ‘We’ve found the culprit, a true knot in the umbilical cord that pulled tighter during labour. Your young man was running out of time in there.’

Dr Sheppard looked across at the surgeon. ‘That answers a lot of questions. I’d say your decision not to wait was a good one. Baby responded well and I can’t foresee any problems.’ He looked back at Poppy and frowned.

Poppy’s own brows drew together at the expression on the new doctor’s face. What was eating him? She mentally shrugged. Did she really care? ‘Are you happy enough with the baby for me to transfer him back to the ward?’

She watched the scowl smooth away in front of her eyes. She sighed and hoped he wasn’t going to be another one of those doctors with unpredictable moods.

‘Yes, Baby’s fine. I’ll come with you and talk to the father. I gather he’s the poor chap nail-biting out in the corridor.’

Dr Gates looked up from his suturing. ‘Thank you for coming at such short notice, Dr Sheppard. I know you don’t start until tomorrow but in the country everyone knows your comings and goings. You can’t hide from us.’ He laughed, the way only really chubby men could, and everyone joined in as they watched him wobble with mirth.

‘By the way, the very efficient midwife at your side is Sister McCrae. Sister McCrae—Dr Sheppard.’ He chuckled as the two looked at each other and then away. ‘Thanks again. Midcoast won’t always call you in at dinnertime.’

‘Not a problem.’ Dr Sheppard nodded at Poppy and they manoeuvred the trolley carrying the baby out of the theatre. They paused, before pushing open the swing doors, and threw their masks and theatre gowns into the bins provided. The baby was so snugly wrapped that only his wrinkled face poked out of the mound of blankets. Poppy stroked his cheek. His skin felt like silk against her fingers. Newborn babies never ceased to fill her with wonder. Once she would have given anything to have been able to have one.

As they pushed open the external doors from the theatre the child’s father jumped up from his seat and rushed towards them.

‘Congratulations, Luke!’ Poppy said. ‘Sheila’s fine and so is your son.’

‘It’s a boy!’ he whooped, but quickly sobered, or as much as the grin on his face would allow. ‘You’re sure they’re both OK?’

‘This is Dr Sheppard. He’s the paediatrician and he can tell you all about it...’ Poppy’s voice dwindled away as Luke fastened his eyes on the other man.

She, too, turned to study his face properly for the first time. The bottom seemed to drop out of her stomach. He was a stunner. In the corridor lighting, the lines of his cheekbones made his face seem almost harsh. His full bottom lip hinted at sensuality and softened the strength of his powerful jaw. It affected Poppy in a way she wasn’t prepared for. Her own lips tightened in denial. She wouldn’t even think about it!

Still she found herself drawn to his eyes. That vivid blue of the sea on a sunny day. There was that memory again. She knew who he reminded her of now. She’d only seen eyes of that colour once before—and then they’d been outlined by very sparse eyebrows. She’d kissed that man’s brow goodbye two weeks before he’d died. She shivered at the eerie feeling it left her with.

The men were talking and she couldn’t help noticing how broad and reassuring Dr Sheppard looked in his theatre trousers and V-necked top. A few stray black tendrils of chest hair poked out brazenly around his neckline and the fabric stretched tautly across the widest chest she’d seen in town for a while. She gulped and tried not to stare.

A gentle pulsing warmth started low in her stomach as she watched him absently stroke the bundled baby on the trolley. What would it feel like to be cradled in those strong arms? He’d draw women like kids to a sweets jar.

She winced as if hit by a wet flannel. Just like her ex-husband. The snake.

She glared at his tall frame. Typical. See how easily Dr Sheppard instilled trust in the father, she warned herself. She’d seen what a smooth talker could do once before.

‘Thanks, Doc. Thanks, Sister.’ Luke could hardly stand still in his excitement and relief. ‘I’m off to the phones.’ He sped off down the corridor, more excited than if he’d picked the winner in the Melbourne Cup.

Poppy seized gratefully on the break in her thoughts and helped steer the trolley through to the neonatal nursery.

‘I’ll do a thorough check before he goes into the crib, Sister.’ Poppy nodded and unwrapped the infant.

She watched Dr Sheppard check the infant. She had to admire the way his concentration focussed totally on the baby as he carefully assessed him from every angle.

When he was finished, he closed the tiny circular door with a gentle click. Poppy chalked up another point for him. She’d seen so many doctors snap the door shut, oblivious to the arm-flinging agitation of the baby within. She could work with this guy, she decided.

Then he spoiled it. ‘I can’t believe people put their children at risk by having babies at home. If I had my choice I’d ban it.’ He shook his head as he stared at the little fellow now resting comfortably in his artificial womb.

Poppy’s mouth dropped open. ‘Excuse me?’

Dr Sheppard glanced up at her measuringly. ‘You don’t agree, Sister?’

Cold blue eyes met militant green ones.

Poppy’s gaze didn’t waver. ‘No, I don’t agree.’

‘So convince me!’ He didn’t actually put his hands on his hips but he might as well have.

You bet I will, buddy. Poppy smiled sweetly. ‘My success would depend on whether you’re open to reasonable argument or whether your mind is already made up, Doctor.’

There was no answering smile and he spoke with sudden coldness. ‘Touché. I don’t like your chances. Maybe another day.’ He saluted her. ‘Thank you, Sister.’

Poppy shivered. Perhaps he wouldn’t be so easy to convince. It wasn’t just the right of the parent to choose the place of birth that she wanted to convince him of. Instinctively, she felt it would be hugely important to avoid any problems with her beliefs in midwifery. He could set her cause back two years if his demands were unreasonable.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, back in her usual uniform, Poppy could feel her feet dragging. She rotated her neck and shoulders to ease out any stiffness from the long day as she walked over to the crib.

‘Bye, Baby. We couldn’t help a true knot in your cord.’ She shivered at the closeness of tragedy. ‘It’s a shame about your mummy’s poor old tummy but you’re a lucky little boy.’

‘So how was our new paediatrician, Poppy?’ Sandy, the other midwife, pulled a butterscotch sweet out of her pocket and handed it to Poppy.

‘Thanks.’ Poppy untwisted the prize out of its wrapping and popped it into her mouth, rolling her eyes as the sweetness hit her tongue.

Poppy put her hand over her mouth as she crunched the butterscotch with her teeth. Sandy put her hands over her ears and the two women grinned at each other.

‘Sorry. I needed that. I haven’t eaten for about six hours.’ She pointed at the baby and answered Sandy’s question. ‘Well, I was pretty glad to see him, with the baby so stunned at birth, and he puts a tube in very well.’ She rolled the sweet wrapper in her hands thoughtfully. ‘He’s got that calmness the really experienced neonatal guys have so that everything seems to go smoothly with no stress. Very easy to work with.’

‘Hooray, you’ve said something good about a doctor finally.’ Sandy pretended to do a Red Indian war dance around the room.

Poppy glared at her. ‘I like Dr Gates.’

‘He’s as round as butter and married with six kids. He’s safe to like. Besides, he finally agreed with your complementary therapies. But this guy is young and Dr Gates says he’s single.’

‘Yeah, but I’ve got a bad feeling about how open his mind is. Also, he’s against a mother choosing the place of birth.’ Poppy rubbed her eyes and stretched her neck again. ‘Still, I suppose if everyone had their babies at home we’d be out of a job.’

Sandy frowned. ‘Don’t worry about him now. It’s been a long day for you and pressure’s on when a baby’s not responding.’

‘It’s OK, Sandy. I’m thinking that at least, having him here, we won’t have to book as many high-risk women into the base hospital.’ She stared dreamily at a rosy vision of babies and mothers filling the nursery.

Sandy shook her head. ‘What I don’t get is why such a qualified guy would come here.’

Poppy sniffed. ‘Why wouldn’t he come here? We have the best beaches on the North Coast and we’re close to about five national parks.’

‘Yeah, right, Poppy. Not everyone wants to tramp through slippery gullies to look at some hundred-year-old forest giant covered in green velvet.’ Sandy rolled her eyes.

Poppy wasn’t listening. ‘Hopefully, more women will come back to having their babies at Midcoast.’ She looked around at the freshly painted walls and the modern equipment.

‘I love this place and we fought hard for the birthing suites. It infuriates me that there’s no guarantee the ward will stay open if the birth numbers keep falling.’ She crossed her fingers superstitiously. ‘Help is here if they need it, but we’re finally offering our clients non-medical forms of pain relief, with great results. People are starting to chose Midcoast for those reasons. We don’t want another doctor to scare them away by being negative. We’ll just have to convince him that, while it has its place, conventional medicine isn’t always necessary.’

She shrugged her shoulders wearily and waved at the baby again.

‘I’ve had it. Bye, little one.’ She blew a kiss at the crib. ‘See you tomorrow afternoon, Sandy.’ With her bag in one hand and helmet and keys in the other, she headed thoughtfully out of the door. Poppy’s red motor scooter was no Harley-Davidson but it meant she didn’t have to walk home in the dark tonight.

Pushing open the external door, she almost collided with Dr Sheppard who was leaping up the stairs three at a time. Poppy stepped back out of his way but stopped when he put out his hand.

‘Hello again, Sister.’ He glanced at her helmet. ‘It’s dark. I’ll walk you to your, ah...bike?’

This tall, muscular man, vaulting the stairs, had knocked her mentally off balance. Poppy forced down the butterflies in her stomach and managed a noncommittal nod. But she smiled to herself at a reaction she hadn’t enjoyed in a while. Hormones.

What was that thing about adrenalin she’d learnt? It warmed your skin with increased blood flow and accelerated your heartbeat. This guy must trigger her adrenalin. And he’d know it, too. The thought steadied her. She’d had the impression he hadn’t even liked her. Strangely, she wasn’t tired any more.

Poppy walked beside him the short distance to the road. ‘Why do you want to walk me to my bike?’ She tilted her head up at him, unable to resist. ‘Did you want to hear why some home births are a good thing? How important it is that if these parents come to us in a crisis situation we shouldn’t judge them?’

His face showed it was the last thing he wanted to talk about and she bit her lip to suppress her smile.

‘Judging isn’t helpful when we’re trying to build a reputation as a liberal birthing unit. Obviously home birth isn’t for everyone, but in this case, prior to the sudden foetal distress, her midwife had a healthy mother with good antenatal care and a history of a previous normal vaginal delivery. That’s low risk.’ She slanted a look at him and saw that his eyes were glazing. She’d have one more go.

‘Do you realise that human beings are the only animals who make a nice safe nest to live in then leave it to have their young in a strange place? Don’t you find that bizarre?’

‘Bizarre? No.’ That was too much for him.

Poppy got the feeling she’d suddenly grown another head.

He shook his head in disbelief. ‘To come to a hospital to have your child seems perfectly natural to me—and something any sensible person would do.’ His forehead creased.

‘Look, I came back to check on the baby and I don’t know why I offered to walk you to your bike. Though it’s probably because I don’t like to see women walking alone at night.’

‘Oh, I appreciate that.’ She had no doubt he was wishing he hadn’t, and Poppy tried hard not to let the amusement come through into her voice. She needn’t have worried. He still couldn’t come to terms with women wanting home births.

‘What about infant mortality and morbidity? These people are dangerous.’ He looked down at her walking beside him. ‘No,’ he said again. ‘I don’t find it bizarre and we’ll never agree on home births.’ He smiled to soften the words but his voice was harsh.

Poppy shrugged. ‘Maybe we could talk about it another day?’

‘I don’t think so.’

They both stopped beside her red scooter. He stared at the tiny vehicle and its bottletop-sized wheels.

‘What an embarrassing bike.’

Poppy laughed out loud. And she’d been worried about offending him? ‘Oh very diplomatic, Dr Sheppard. I bet what you drive doesn’t cost less than a soft drink to run every month, and it’s fun. Have you heard of fun?’

He obviously wasn’t used to being paid back and she smiled as he blinked at her tone.

‘I’m sorry, that was rude of me,’ he said. ‘Which reminds me, I left rather quickly without telling you how impressed I was with your resuscitation skills. I thought we worked well together.’

Damn. She’d just decided he was an insufferable prig and he said something nice. She hated that. Now she felt like a louse.

She tried to hide her face by bending down to put the keys in the ignition. She could feel the heat in her cheeks because he’d made her feel self-conscious with his comment.

‘Thank you, Dr Sheppard.’

‘Jake, please.’

‘Jake, then. You’re pretty good yourself at what you do. I’m Poppy.’

He raised his eyebrows.

Poppy sighed. ‘My mother was a sixties flower child and she named her daughters after her favourite flowers. My sister’s name is Jasmine.’

Jake glanced down at her. She was tall for a woman and well rounded. He liked the way her red hair curled and bounced around her face. It was a big improvement on the theatre cap. She looked like a poppy. She had one of those husky, sexy voices that seemed to come out of the most unlikely people.

He watched her face soften when she spoke of her mother, and it made him think of the way she’d looked at the baby outside Theatre. Her face wasn’t beautiful—except when she smiled. Yet she had the kind of face he could watch all day, waiting for the changes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed watching a woman’s reactions so much.